Brickbat: There's No Such Thing as Free Beer


Kartos /

The Patriarch Craft Beer House and Lawn in Edmond, Oklahoma, promised free beer to striking teachers—a beer called Respect Party, to be exact. But an official with the state's Alcoholic Beverage Laws Enforcement Commission saw a Facebook post on the offer and didn't recognize the name of the beer. Investigators raided the beer house and seized all Respect Party beer for not having the brand properly registered in the state and issued Patriarch a citation.

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  1. Down with the Patriarch!

  2. What a bunch of dicks!

    1. Yes, but ABLE needed drinks for the office party.

      1. A disrespect party!

  3. The revolution is eating it’s own! Big-government dicks are dicking over those who pander to striking employees of another Biggus Dickus arm of Government Almighty!

    I think I will go and celebrate by having a beer! I hope that it will not be taken away from me, before it (and I) gets all drunk, because the beer didn’t have a properly registered name!

    Hey man, if I meet a personal enemy of mine at the bar, can I call his beer “shit beer” and therefor have Government Almighty come and swoop in and confiscate his “shit beer” for having an un-registered beer name?!?!?

    Inquiring minds want to know, dammit!!!!

    1. Just get your enemy unpersonned. Then you can do whatever you want.

    2. Biggus Dickus. Wanks as high as any man in Wome.

  4. “the officer found that the brewery had not paid the fee . . .” as always, follow the money.

    I kind of wonder how bar pickups work in OK –
    “Hi there, can I buy you a ; oops, wait a minute. Hi there, want to buy your own beer with me?”

    1. So you’re saying Oklahoma is way ahead on the whole all men are rapists, all men are oppressive patriarchs, and you should constantly ask for consent. Consent in this case is also from the government.

      1. Well, sort of. (I could not truly accept credit for actually saying OK was ahead on much.)
        This could also go full sexist and determine women should not be allowed to accept drinks at a bar – – – – – – –

  5. I was attempting to explain Jimmy Carter’s deregulation of the brewing industry to a lefty friend of mine. He immediately furrowed his brow and frowned at the word “deregulation”, but within seconds the frown had disappeared in response to the words “micro breweries”.

    1. Deregulation means freedom. It means people acting without asking permission and obeying orders. This is a terrible thing because people must be controlled. Otherwise you never know what they will do. Unless we’re talking about beer. then deregulation is good because it allows creative brewers to come up with all kinds of craft beer. But in all other areas of life deregulation is a bad thing.

  6. Thanks for making me take the side of public sector unionists, but this official seriously sucks. I hope they repeatedly slap with damp bar towels.

    An unregistered brand name? Who cares? If the brewing company wants to take a chance of having their brand identity infringed upon because they did not trademark it, why is that the state’s concern?

    1. Money. The extortionists wants to get paid.

    2. Because the big breweries have helped to make the law in order to make it as difficult as possible for smaller breweries to compete.

    3. “An unregistered brand name? Who cares? If the brewing company wants to take a chance of having their brand identity infringed upon because they did not trademark it, why is that the state’s concern?”

      This has nothing to do with trademark registration. Oklahoma alcohol rules prohibit the sale of alcoholic beverages unless the brand name is registered with the state alcohol control board.

      OK Alcoholic Beverage Administrative Code

      45:30-3-2. Manufacturer’s brand name label registration
      (a) No alcoholic beverage shall be sold or offered for sale to an
      Oklahoma licensed Wholesaler unless the brand name label shall have
      been registered with and approved by the Director of the Oklahoma
      Alcoholic Beverage Laws Enforcement Commission, and the required
      registration fee paid

    4. Its not about protecting the brand/trademark – ABLE has nothing to do with that.

      Its that in many states, you – literally – have to register the name of every single product you wish to sell with the local alcohol licensing agency and get their approval (which can extend to control of product name and label artwork) because . . . fuck you that’s why.

      Basically so they can charge you a fee for doing it and charge you a larger fine if they catch you not doing it.

  7. Hey, revenuer! Leave those teachers alone!

    1. We don’t need no regulation. We don’t need no brand control.

  8. The Respect Beer people are lucky they didn’t get the death sentence and a lethal injection of drugs that cause them to die slowly and painfully over several hours. I think what they did is a capital offense in Oklahoma.

  9. promised free beer to striking teachers

    I know who’s beer I am never going to buy.

    1. Everybody knows you don’t buy beer, you just rent it.

  10. I thought this was going to end with a “Free Beer Tomorrow” joke.

  11. They probably wouldn’t have gotten many takers anyway. I mean, “Patriarch Craft Beer House and Lawn?” PROBLEMATIC!

  12. There’s so much irony in this story, magnets are sticking to it.

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