Woman Struck, Killed by Self-Driving Car, Facebook Shares Tumble, GOP Challenge to Penn. Map Rejected: P.M. Links

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    Dado Ruvic/REUTERS/Newscom

    A pedestrian in Tempe, Ariz., has died after being struck by a self-driving car operated by Uber. This is believed to be the first death of a pedestrian due to autonomous cars. Uber has suspended testing of the cars in the city, as well as in San Francisco, Pittsburgh, and Toronto.

  • Facebook shares tumbled today on reports that a consultancy firm got inappropriate access to more than 50 million users.
  • Judges have rejected a Republican challenge to Pennsylvania's new congressional district map. The Supreme Court also declined to intervene.
  • Actor Cynthia Nixon today announced that she's going to challenge Democratic New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo in the primary. Current polls don't bode well for her chances.
  • Kroger announced it will stop carrying magazines that feature assault rifles in its stores, meaning they're essentially banning pictures of guns. One wonders what will happen to magazine sales altogether if the grocery chain discovers that many guns themselves have "magazines."
  • A tenants' group says Jared Kushner's company filed false paperwork with New York City to claim that none of the apartments in buildings it owned were rent-controlled. Many were.

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  1. A pedestrian in Tempe, Ariz., has died after being struck by a self-driving car operated by Uber.

    Skynet starts out as a chauffeur, you know.

    1. Now your technology has a body count!

      1. Stephen Hawking warned us about AI!
        After Methuselah, the flood.

    2. People with real money just say driver.

      1. The people with real money have people to summon the car for them.

        1. Only plebes use ground transport.

          Helicopter + jets ftw.

          1. Only wannabees are in such a hurry. The real rich take yachts and use skype.

            1. You sound like someone too poor to by a flying yacht, plebe.

              1. People with money know that Mohamed doesn’t go to the mountain, the mountain comes to Mohamed.

    3. Hello.

      Scott lives….for now.

      1. Don’t threaten Shack, Rufus.

        1. /cues ‘Love Shack’.

  2. Facebook shares tumbled today on reports that a consultancy firm got inappropriate access to more than 50 million users.

    So it’s finally official: Facebook and not Hillary Clinton caused Hillary Clinton to lose.

    1. I’m just glad the ol’ girl finally has vindication.

      1. Hillary has 10 fingers to point.

        1. +2 knife hands

  3. Judges have rejected a Republican challenge to Pennsylvania’s new congressional district map. The Supreme Court also declined to intervene.

    JUDICIAL BRANCH POWER GRAB.

  4. Actor Cynthia Nixon today announced that she’s going to challenge Democratic New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo in the primary.

    Only Nixon could go to Albany.

    1. One redhead to rule them all.

    2. “they are just not that into you”

      Sorry, someone has to do the obvious quote because Shackford dropped the ball.

  5. One wonders what will happen to magazine sales altogether if the grocery chain discovers that many guns themselves have “magazines.”

    THEY’RE CALLED MAGAZINES NOT CLI-

    Oh, you got it right.

    1. Apparently these magazines trigger certain people, amirite?

  6. This is believed to be the first death of a pedestrian due to autonomous cars.

    Can’t wait for the first such “death” of a robot.

    1. The first death THAT WE KNOW OF.

      Everyone knows the robots are programmed for hit-and-run.

      1. Only the ones hawking on-line schemes.

      2. So you’re saying that this car was actual David Weigel?

  7. Kroger announced it will stop carrying magazines that feature assault rifles in its stores, meaning they’re essentially banning pictures of guns. One wonders what will happen to magazine sales altogether if the grocery chain discovers that many guns themselves have “magazines.”

    M??????, ‘magazin,’ is the Russian word for a store, so… holy shit, they hacked Kroger too!

    1. Kroger always sounded a bit Russian to me anyway.

      1. Like Roger Kokov?

        1. The deceased husband of Ivana Cutyour?

          1. I was always more fond of his first wife, Joy Fu Lee Sukya.

        2. Do they sell Popov? That shit literally has a picture of the Kremlin on the bottle.

          1. It’s legit too. Easily the best cheap vodka.

    2. Ignore the cretins above making Russian word jokes.

      Did you know that the word “hobo” came from the Russian word for news? People saw Russians who were freight-hopping carrying Russian newspapers and in Cyrillic the word for news looks like hobo (with ctu at the end). True story that I may or may not have made up.

      1. You definitely made that up.

      2. Hobos are just a red herring.

        1. So hobos caused Hillary’s demise?

          1. “Ya kidding? Even I wouldn’t touch that.”

            –Hobo Rudolph

  8. A tenants’ group says Jared Kushner’s company filed false paperwork with New York City to claim that none of the apartments in buildings it owned were rent-controlled. Many were.

    So now because Trump is involved Reason is suddenly all for rent control. Sad.

    1. Reason is the best libertarian magazine ever to be staffed by statists.

  9. One wonders what will happen to magazine sales altogether if the grocery chain discovers that many guns themselves have “magazines.”

    Sales will be clipped.

    1. This will keep them busy while I shotgun beers in the back aisle.

  10. Kroger announced it will stop carrying magazines that feature assault rifles in its stores

    Only magazines that have more than 10 pages.

    1. It’s ok if the magazine has more than 10 pages, but you’re only allowed to read 7 of them.

      1. For the articles.

  11. Facebook shares tumbled today on reports that a consultancy firm got inappropriate access to more than 50 million users.

    That’s why OPM doesn’t trade on any stock exchange.

    1. Suddenly everyone figured out that facebook was selling their information. Selling it to Obama wasn’t really selling it. But selling it to Trump? OMFG!! I can’t believe people are surprised by this or care. If you care, then why are you on Facebook?

      1. Because Facebook…is for caring people.

        Unlike you, ya unwoke shitheel.

      2. But you don’t understand.
        Trump’s people are common and dirty, but Obama’s people were tasteful and intelligent. So it’s alright when they do it, see?

  12. Kroger announced it will stop carrying magazines that feature assault rifles

    So much for the news weeklies.

    1. As long as I can still get my updates about Batboy’s latest shenanigans while waiting in the checkout line, we are good.

      1. Don’t bring back such sad memories.

  13. Shack, how do you feel about the fact that Britches has finally learned how to alt-text and is nipping at your heels in the race for alt-text supremacy?

    1. Who did you think the latest alt-text was aimed at?

      1. Christian isn’t really sharing his personality tests, so much as asking people why they keep coming up negative.

        1. Dayumn! A burn so Savage it could have come from an old Weiner.

  14. Sea of Thieves

    See you salty dogs in another life!

    1. God speed. Make sure you come out in a month or so to play Yakuza 6.

  15. I’m going to let the attempt at wordplay on “magazines” slide only because it’s Monday of spring break.

    1. Don’t get any HIVs in Cancun.

      1. I’m mostly worried about getting trapped behind Wall Force One. He’s already picking out swatches!

  16. The Uber vehicle was in autonomous mode with a human safety driver at the wheel when it struck the woman, who was crossing the street outside of a crosswalk, the Tempe police said

    So, pedestrian error?

    1. Where I live some people cross the road whenever they fucking feel like it, and purposely walk slower when oncoming traffic is coming their way. If the self driving car’s programmed to run these people over it might eliminate this kind of behavior.

      1. I applaud this programming.

    2. So, pedestrian error?

      Bad actors on both sides.

      1. Sadly, people staying between the lines will be required before autonomous cars can really be a thing. A person can see some idjit staggering along the road from half a mile away, slows down, is halfway over into the next lame before the dipshit wanders into the street. No way you can make a robot do that at this stage, maybe never.

  17. http://futurism.com/experts-sh…..x-smokers/

    Experts say we should take meat eaters like smokers.

    Is there any time the phrase “experts say” where it isn’t followed by the worst piece of totalitarian douche baggery?

    1. Vegans already do this.

      1. To be fair – I do this to vegans.

    2. The problem is when you don’t react with mere skepticism but with a self-issued license to believe whatever most comforts you.

      1. No the problem is that the world is full of utter fucking morons like you who will believe anything someone in authority tells them as long as it feeds your inner need to be angry and punish everyone who is different from you.

        1. Lol This from the last remaining person here trying to die on the “gays are icky” hill.

    3. Experts say that masturbation is healthy when not pursued to excess.

      1. Now you are going to dis my hobbies?

      2. I knew I had a problem when I heard Mark Maron complain about how he was masturbating too much, and his number was less than half mine.

        1. Don’t worry about it – if anyone tells you how often they masturbate they’re lying. Double it and that’s a lower bound.

      3. But my experts are saying to masturbate excessively; and they’re highly qualified, long-time practitioners.

  18. They do, though, worry that “an emphasis on fake news might also have the unintended consequence of reducing the perceived credibility of real-news outlets.”

    That’s why you just deem “real-news” as coming from “real-news outlets” and “fake news” coming from “fake-news outlets”, and, why, look just how simplistic it got!

    Is it real-news? Well, does it come from a real-news outlet? Why, then, it’s real, regardless of how wrong it is! Oh, it comes from a fake-news outlet? Well, that’s fake, no matter how true it is. And we know real-news outlets because they produce the real-news, while the fake-news outlets produce the fake-news.

    Ambiguity removed, and problem solved!

    That and we should just censor everyone except certain specific newspapers and TV anchor personalities because the first amendment says “press,” and clearly that only applies to everyone I like and no one I don’t. Problem solved!

    1. “real-news outlets” should have reduction in their perceived credibility. I swear, people are looking at fake news and thinking it’s a new problem to be defeated, when really the lesson is always be doubtful of information you receive.

  19. I’m usually the first person to laugh at people for paying much attention to Twitter, but I thought this was especially hilarious:

    “I’ve written to @MickMulvaneyOMB 9 times in the past 3 months with 125 questions about his shady actions at the @CFPB. He has refused to answer more than 100 of them. That’s unacceptable for a public official ? the American people deserve answers.”

    https://tinyurl.com/yaon9qk7

    —-Liz Warren

    That tweet is followed up by several others from her excoriating the CFPB for being unresponsive to congress.

    You know what’s funny about that?

    The reason the CFPB is unresponsive to congress is because–that’s the way Liz Warren made it!!!

    Holy shit.

    The CFPB doesn’t even get its funding from congress. It gets its funding from the Federal Reserve–because that’s the way Liz Warren made it!!!

    1. She’s just an Indian giver.

  20. Facebook shares tumbled today on reports that a consultancy firm got inappropriate access to more than 50 million users.

    Shouldn’t this cause its shares to skyrocket?

    1. Yeah, I guess the problem is that they didn’t charge for it.

  21. Off-topic: Worst Reason trolls, quarterfinals.

    SIV vs. Hihmitators

    SIV fucks chickens. He’s creepy, vaguely right-wing, and a chickenfucker.

    Hihmitators are the guys who cop Michael Hihn’s schtick and shit up threads (usually those Hihn is already on) with their imitations, making them even MORE unreadable.

    SIV vs. Hihmitators, go!

    1. One vote for SIV.

    2. Hihmitators

    3. Hihnmitators. SIV seems pretty libertarian in his anti-cuck-ish views. Like he doesn’t really care if others are tail-wagging cuckerspaniels, cucking up his favorite comment board. Just so long as all those cuck lovers don’t touch him with or force their cuckiness on him and he’s free to call them out on their cuckistanian cuckosophy. Overall pretty laid back and seems to take all the chicken jokes in stride… yep Hihnmitators.

    4. Am I supposed to say who’s better or who’s worse?

      SIV has a coherent worldview and states it concisely. That makes him the better candidate. Or am I supposed to vote for the worse candidates?

    5. Polls close, Hihmitators win 3-1. Will go on to face Robespierre Joseph Stalin Pot in the semifinals.


  22. Facebook shares tumbled today on reports that a consultancy firm got inappropriate access to more than 50 million users.

    In other words, buy Facebook now because those people who sold on this news will have forgotten about this tomorrow and be looking to buy their shares back.

    1. What is it they think Facebook does for a living?

      1. Advertising and outsourcing their database I believe. Basically exactly what you’d expect, and why last I saw most people considered them overvalued. It looks like they’re here to stay, though, so ride the wave of retards I suppose. They’ll be back, ironically because it’s Facebook.

        1. Their customers don’t want to leave their friends and family behind.

          It’s grotesque.

          1. There *product* doesn’t want to leave their friends and family.

            Facebook’s customers are the ad agencies.

    2. I cannot in good conscience support that company until they find some way to make my friends stop taking pictures of their cute dogs that always just so happen to have the Lexus in the frame.

      1. Only thing to do is post your own picture with your new Genesis in it.

        1. Trespass, Nursery Crime, or Foxtrot?

        2. Did they get back together again?

      2. Get friends who have better taste in cars.

        1. Get friends who have better taste in cars.

          FTFY

      3. It’s the other way around, they’re taking pictures of the lexus and the stupid dog keeps getting in the frame.

        1. Well yeah. And they will bake entire plates of cookies just to post photos of them set on their marble countertop.

          1. I don’t understand people who facebook their food. But I just started instagraming (2 Ms or 1?) my watches so I guess I’ll shut up now.

      4. I’d probably feel the same way if I was poor, too.

  23. “Facebook Shares Tumble”

    Wow! With whom?

    Oh, wait, Facebook, I thought you said Jessica Alba shares tumble.

  24. Actor Cynthia Nixon today announced that she’s going to challenge Democratic New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo in the primary. Current polls don’t bode well for her chances.

    You know what other celebrity whose chances were dismissed ended up taking higher office?

    1. King Kong on the Empire State Building?

    2. Trump?

      Does that literally violate the rules of the game?

  25. Kroger announced it will stop carrying magazines that feature assault rifles in its stores, meaning they’re essentially banning pictures of guns.

    Luckily, the grocery store I shop at is owned by Mormons, so I suspect I can still flip through Gunner’s World for the time being.

    1. So you just sit there reading magazines while your 6 wives do the shopping? Real nice.

  26. That self-driving car was radicalized by a malware download. When the wrecker service guy accidentally hit the horn while tying down the steering wheel, it belted out Allah-AHOOGA.

  27. “Judges have rejected a Republican challenge to Pennsylvania’s new congressional district map. The Supreme Court also declined to intervene.”

    It’s amazing how often a supposedly conservative supreme court acquiesces to Leftist judicial authoritarianism in the lower courts.

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