Rejuvenation

The Young Blood Cure for Aging?

A Florida physician offers to rejuvenate oldsters with young people's plasma.

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BloodboyHBO
HBO

At a recent Palm Beach society gala, Dr. Dipnarine Maharaj sought to sign up some rich old people for a clinical trial in which he plans to transfuse blood plasma from young people into the bodies of baby boomers in hopes of rejuvenating them, STAT reports.

As part of his sales pitch, Maharaj cited recent research in which scientists who had surgically attached old mice to young mice found that doing so rejuvenated the tissues of the old mice. So far no one has attempted to knit the body of a baby boomer to that of an underemployed millennial, but the rodent research has inspired a number of researchers to launch experiments in which blood plasma drained (voluntarily!) from young people is transfused into the older people's bodies.

For example, Alkahest reported the preliminary results from a clinical trial in which in its researchers transfused young plasma into 18 people diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. Only very modest improvements in cognitive function were observed. Another company, Ambrosia, is charging people $8,000 to enroll them in its young blood transfusion trials. The company reports that its subjects exhibit improvements in various biomarkers associated with aging.

In his trial, Maharaj intends to inject his young blood donors with Granulocyte colony-stimulating factor. The idea is to boost their plasma's rejuvenation powers by stimulating their bodies to release bone marrow stem cells into their bloodstreams. Maharaj promises to match participants with appropriate donors, but he does note that participants can bring their own donors. This brings to mind HBO's Silicon Valley episode featuring Gavin Belson's blood boy.

Plasma transfusions may or may not work, but the utlimate goal of this research is to find and isolate the factors in youthful blood that will confer vim, vigor, and vitality on those of us who are feeling the ever-closer approach of the Grim Reaper.

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  1. The whole idea of someone else’s blood inside me creeps me out. I don’t know what’s going to happen when my lone kidney goes tits-up and I have to make my brother give me one of his Mountain Dew pickled ones.

    1. I’m always here for you Fist. Put me inside your body.

      1. Would you like a little Hugh deep inside you?

        1. I think little Hugh deserves a say in this.

    2. Electrolytes, it’s what your kidneys crave.

  2. It seem far more likely that “the utlimate (sic) goal of this research is to” separate the gullible from their money.

      1. Maybe cynic, maybe skeptic,maybe troll, but someone had to say it.

        1. “Maybe cynic”

          Isn’t cynicism a precondition for libertarianism?

    1. IDK, the way Bailey keeps pimping it it seems like the transfusion itself is the product and any longevity benefits, if there are any, are added perks.

      Personally, I’d rather have my orphans spill their blood to bring me diamonds from my diamond mine but to each his own.

    2. Indeed. Young blood isn’t going to do jack or shit to ‘rejuvenate’ the telomere’s that are the root cause of virtually every ‘old age’ issue. This is a fact, so this is just the modern equivalent of selling someone a bottle of alcohol and cocaine and calling it a ‘cure’.

      1. Also, just to note this, blood plasma etc. doesn’t have any effect on adding more telomere’s onto your DNA so any suggestion it ‘reduces the chances for cancer’ seem automatically overblown without knowing what specific types of cancer they think it inhibits. Certainly the specific cells that are imported from a younger body will have more telomere’s since they are younger, but blood cells are produced in your blood marrow and don’t ‘live’ forever so it would be a temporary boon and it assumes the cancer being inhibited would be a blood borne cancer. (Or at least that would be my assumption.)

        1. *bone marrow, not blood marrow. Yeesh.

          1. Thanks for clearing that up. Not that I couldn’t’ve guessed that some 18th century psuedo-science wasn’t going to work.

        2. Also, just to note this, blood plasma etc. doesn’t have any effect on adding more telomere’s onto your DNA so any suggestion it ‘reduces the chances for cancer’ seem automatically overblown without knowing what specific types of cancer they think it inhibits.

          And, just to note this, lots of cancers, not to mention normal cells in your body, are quite capable of prolonging their own telomeres. Telomeres, for some cells, do put a kind of ultimate cap on the age to which an ‘unengineered’ body could live, but we’ve got plenty of other diseased lined up to keep our lifespans well below 100-150 that don’t give two shits about the length of any/all telomeres.

          1. Also very true in terms of other disease, although I was not aware that there were types of cancer’s or normal cells that could extend their telomere.

            My knowledge is entirely undergraduate though and they didn’t bother to point out that there were special cases, so I’d be interested to read more about it since it was my understanding that these were an ultimate ‘life inhibitor’ that causes gradual but certain degradation of human (really all) DNA encoding.

            I did know that not all cancer is caused by the resulting DNA errors, but I was under the impression that it’s the cause of ‘most’ cancers. This could very well be an incorrect assumption on my part.

      2. I just wish I had thought of this scam first. Make it *look* like blood is transfusing from the young person, have complicated equipment all around, and infuse a tiny amount of caffeine during the process. The old folks would be lining up at the door, better than B-12 shots. You’d make billyuns! Millyuns, even!

        1. There are still ample opportunities for hangover buses that actually do help. I could go for some IV fluids and Zofran right now.

          Of course there’s pretty much always a Zofran shortage, so supplying it to drunkards in Vegas instead of chemo pts is a little whack.

      3. Seems like you might know a lot more about this than I do. Are telomeres really that central in all of that? I know they have a lot to do with cell ageing and ultimately failures in cell division and regeneration, but I would have thought other factors play a role there as well, like other factors that can damage DNA or interfere with proper copying. Do people who prematurely age just have shitty telomeres?


        1. Do people who prematurely age just have shitty telomeres?

          Not necessarily, as you point out a ton of environmental factors cause your DNA to replicate faster so you’re ‘aging’ faster. That said, those people who smoke without a problem until they’re 95 years old? They likely have far more than the ‘average’ number of telomere’s thus they can replicate their DNA more often with fewer errors and therefore live longer.

          The thing for me is that telomere’s do have a lot to do with aging and since this process doesn’t appear to do anything on that front I question their basic premise that this staves off aging. I mean, beyond the fact that they’re essentially importing a ton of new cells but again that’s very temporary.

          Could it help? I suppose so. Could it help more than healthy living and avoiding environmental hazards? Probably not.

          1. And, obviously, this doesn’t even address things that directly damage your DNA regardless of what they may or may not do to the ends of the stands.

      4. Huh? Where did you get the idea that telomeres cause all aging issues? Not even close, bruh.

        1. ‘Virtually all’ is not ‘all’ but it was probably a bit of hyperbole on my part either way. There are tons of other issues that can and will kill you, some of which are naturally occurring in DNA and most of which don’t have anything to do with DNA replication.

          If you die from ‘old age’, you likely died of a telomere (which is to say DNA replication flaw) related problem though.

          Of course, I’m no scientist. This is what I recall of my undergraduate science and biology classes. *shrug*

    3. Remember, all great experiments start out small.

    4. Is it usual for people to pay a few thousand to take part in a clinical study? That tweaks my scepticism.

      1. Right on the money with that point. Usually, it’s the other way around for a reason.

  3. Sucking the blood out of children sounds like

    *dons 1700’s-era sunglasses*

    A Modest Proposal.

    1. I was thinking Elizabeth Bathory.

  4. Alt-text win.

  5. Do you get to hold hands while you’re doing it? Or is that extra?

  6. I’d give it a shot in a heartbeat. Cloned baby blood may be the future.

    1. Will it be available in aluminum cans?

      1. It will but it will cost 3% more thanks to Trump’s stupid tariff!

  7. Do we have a name for the next generation after Millenials? If not then I propose we call them “Blood Bags”.

  8. This idea is so simplistic I have trouble believing it hasn’t been tried before.

    In fact, I will go further and say that on reading this story the first two words that sprang to my mind were ‘Monkey Glands”

    1. I was just talking to someone yesterday that used to take monkey testosterone. I guess that’s a thing.

  9. KMW green lights this post AFTER the post making it clear she is not a millennial. Coincidence? I think not.

  10. Whoever had Ron Bailey in the H&R alt-text pool today just cleaned up.

  11. Deep in its lair, Dick Cheney stirs.

  12. So far no one has attempted to knit the body of a baby boomer to that of an underemployed millennial

    If they ever make such a creature, it will have to uncanny ability, no matter how it is thrown, to always land on a sense of entitlement.

  13. Suddenly, I care a whole lot more about kids eating Tide pods.

  14. This many hrs. & nobody’s mentioned Heinlein yet?

  15. Or, you could just transplant their heads.

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  17. Hello everyone I felt this might be of help to someone out there, I amBETTY DONNIEfrom Texas USA, my mom was diagnosed of stage 2 cancer in 2012 but she is free from the disease now. I was introduced by a close friend to Dr MARK a herbal doctor who treated my mom with herbal cure for a period of time. We have done test several times and have been told the cancer is gone. This same Dr MARK also cured me from herpes simplex which I was suffering from for years now. All thanks to him add him email: (markherbs1960 @ gmail. com)(+2 3 4 8 1 4 3 1 4 6 4 1 3)whatapp number
    I read that the man is so powerful he had cured different types of diseases, Like

    DIABETICS

    HERPES

    INFERTILITY

    LUPUS VIRUS

    CANCER and so on…

    HIV
    contact him on email
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