Trump Insists DACA Deal Must Include Border Wall Funding, Gunman Attacks Coptic Christians in Egypt, 40,000 Pounds of Avocado Spill Onto Texas Highway: P.M. Links

• 

  WFAA

  President Trump insisted any immigration deal involving Dreamers also include funding for a border wall with Mexico.

• A gunman in Egypt who targeted Coptic Christians killed seven people.
• Former soccer player George Weah was elected president of Liberia.
• China denies selling oil to North Korea.
• Anti-government protests erupt in Iran.
• An 18-wheeler crashed in Texas, spilling 40,000 pounds of avocado onto the highway.

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Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

President Trump insisted any immigration deal involving Dreamers also include funding for a border wall with Mexico.

Hopefully Mexico - the payers - agree.

[BestUsedCarSales]

This is the only way they can keep some of their good people.

[XenoZooValentine]

They were going to pay it in avocado, but that plan has encountered some complications.

[Episteme]

The avocados are to draw Tom Brady down there. The plan is to use NFL teams offseason to guard the border, sacking Mexicans as they try to cross.

[CE]

Don't send the Cleveland Browns then.

[jalan]

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[Half-Virtue, Half-Vice]

A gunman in Egypt who targeted Coptic Christians killed seven people.

Right thinking people round the world rejoice.

[BestUsedCarSales]

I can only assume this is a tragic example of Roman Catholic on Orthodox violence.

[Eidde]

Copts are an ethnic group, most of whom belong to the Coptic Orthodox Church, which unlike many other churches proclaiming themselves Orthodox, reject the Council of Chalcedon.

[BestUsedCarSales]

If only the shooter have known. Maybe he would have held his fire...

[Eidde]

I'm guessing the shooter, being Amish, doesn't care about these distinctions.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Don't be silly. Amish are Protestant.

[Eidde]

Then why doesn't ENB write more articles about them?

[BestUsedCarSales]

I'm just gonna stop this. State that I was making a joke. And that I don't follow where you're going anymore.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Though, if you have a chance. I keep meaning to ask Eddie. I've been in the process of Converting to Catholician. I'm still early, not even baptized but I have been going to Mass and classes for a few months. So I was wondering if you had literature you could recommend.

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

Have you ever considered... Satan?

It's never to late to repeat your sins!

[BestUsedCarSales]

Sort of. I did check out a Pentecostal Church.

[Eidde]

You didn't get my Protestant/prostitute pun?

(just in good fun)

Catholic literature? How about Chesterton's The Everlasting Man?

http://bit.ly/2vZY03K

or his St. Francis of Assisi:

http://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks09/0900611.txt

[Eidde]

There's also the Coming Home Network:

https://chnetwork.org/converts/

God bless!

[Eidde]

Keep me posted, and I'll try to clean up my act so as not to scandalize you too much.

[Eidde]

This is one of the more remarkable conversion stories I've been looking at recently, if you're familiar with black/Irish relations in Boston you'll see how surprising it is.

[Eidde]

And Wikipedia comes through:

http://bit.ly/2llCOOi

[BestUsedCarSales]

Will check this out. Also, you won't scandalize me. So go nuts. Thanks for the suggestions I'll read through them.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Nope, didn't get that pun at all. Chesterton I've been reading randomly.

Read Heretics yesterday. Reading Orthodoxy now. Read The Napoleon of Notting Hill last week. Just sort of progressing randomly.

Read City of God. I'm sort of reading the Bible bit by bit, but I find it significantly more difficult to read than other things.

[Eidde]

This Catholic version has a lot of historical-critical material:

http://www.usccb.org/bible/books-of-the-bible/

I'm excited for you, I've just been climbing out of a bit of a spiritual trough myself, and now someone on Reason (!) is asking me about the Faith.

And if by any chance you want to contact more Catholics online besides me (not that I'm in any way weird or off-putting to the seeker or anything!) I think the "Coming Home" site has some connections.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Nice, been looking for more study Bibles. My current is the Ignatius, plus study material, and of course the catechism. But that's slow, I really do find reading the Bible to be quite hard. Maybe it's the language or something I don't know.

I come from, if not an atheistic background, at least an areligious one. So it's a big shift for me. It's truly overwhelming. I still can't really even get through mass yet, doing the correct phrases and such.

I'll check out your stuff. If anyone else here wants to chime in as well, feel free. Im open to all info, there's a lot I don't know.

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

Huh. You're converting to Christianity after being raised by areligious folks, I converted to atheism after being raised by Christians. Just one more way we're being set up for a final battle as avatars of light and darkness with the fate of the universe and/or my 7/11 franchise outlet at stake.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Huh. Are you actually a 7/11 Franchisee? I managed a 7/11 in Tucson for 5 years or so before going back to school.

We really are destined to kill each other.

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

No, I am not, in reality, a 7/11 franchisee. I suppose you could call me a 9/11 franchisee, though. You know, what with all the memorabilia and merchandise I have and all.

[Fist of Etiquette]

China denies selling oil to North Korea.

The Norks only off something they call Kim Bucks as currency anyway.

[Eek Barba Durkle]

What's the conversion rate of Kim Bucks to Stanley Nickels?

[Eek Barba Durkle]

What's the conversion rate of Kim Bucks to Stanley Nickels?

[Eek Barba Durkle]

Skwrls prefer Schrute Bucks.

[Half-Virtue, Half-Vice]

Former soccer player George Weah was elected president of Liberia.

A poor man's Jesse Ventura.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Anti-government protests erupt in Iran.

Worked out well last time.

[Square = Circle]

No joke - several Iranians I've known have opined that the only reason Iran hasn't had another revolution is that the last one turned out so, so shitty.

[BestUsedCarSales]

I think we don't appreciate as Americans how lucky we are for how our revolution turned out. I think in world history they end up like Haiti far more often then they end up like the US.

[Square = Circle]

I think in world history they end up like Haiti far more often then they end up like the US.

Indeed.

Arguably, the American Revolution was actually merely preserving the status-quo against the Crown claiming powers that it didn't, in practice, have before - the existing power structure here was preserving itself against a threat that was essentially external.

This contributed to the false sense of hope that drove the French Revolution, which turned out . . . differently.

[Episteme]

I'm curious to see what happens if this gets to the level of the Green Revolution, given the way Obama stepped away from helping the protesters last time (although we now know he was at the time actually already working with the Iranian government and its allies in groups like Hezbollah thanks to reports like the Project Cassandra news). Trump is likely to step right into any the fray of any signs of weakness, especially with the current Saudi government likely to make some major moves in such a case.

[Fist of Etiquette]

An 18-wheeler crashed in Texas, spilling 40,000 pounds of avocado onto the highway.

Holy guacamole!

[gaoxiaen]

There's gonna be a song about this soon.

[I'm Not Sure]

Not by Harry Chapin.

[XenoZooValentine]

On a dork dessert highway,
cool wind in my hair...

[CE]

At least a few Texas millennials have a shot at buying a house now.

[Sevo]

And the market says 'We like what you're doing Prez Trump, keep it up.'
Last trading day of the year, most everybody leaves the money on the table. Market off by all of 1/2 of 1%:
http://money.cnn.com/
data/markets/

[Juice]

They'll start taking profits the second the market opens Tuesday.

[Crusty Juggler]

Disney World Guest Mercilessly Heckles Animatronic Donald Trump

[BestUsedCarSales]

In retrospect, it was a mistake to make his animatronic the first to have real emotions.

[Eidde]

His explanation is what you'd expect.

"Donald Trump is a mad man with fascist tendancies [sic] who has persuaded millions of middle-class Americans to vote against their own interests. So I was worried I'd be put on some sort of list (if I'm not already) and probably incur the wrath of ignorant sheeple. But I figured a bunch of them would be at this ride and wanted to show their kids what a protest looks like before Trump murders democracy. If people are upset that I disrupted their family vacation, I hope they'll think about the thousands [of] children being taken away from their parents because of Trump's racist immigration policies, or the parents of the hundreds of trans people murdered each year by transphobic and homophobic people, or the negative impacts of the tax bill on poor and middle-income Americans. I encourage anyone outraged that I interrupted a ride at Disney to check their privelege [sic]."

[XenoZooValentine]

Another prog trotting out the "vote against their own interests" nonsense.

How would they know? They're not even interested in my interests.

[Eidde]

It's like progs have lost the ability even to fake empathy with the deplorables.

[Eidde]

And would you even know this guy was a "comedian" if he didn't call himself one?

Aren't comedians supposed to be *intentionally* funny?

[XenoZooValentine]

If comedy doesn't work out, I guess he can always do "news" like John Oliver.

Amazing how they all bitch about news sources they don't like, while getting their info from shows that are literally fake news.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Let us all take a moment to appreciate someone using "ignorant sheeple" unironically.

[damikesc]

or the parents of the hundreds of trans people murdered each year by transphobic and homophobic people

So, where are these hundreds of trannies MURDERED?

Because they tend to die from SUICIDE, not, you know, MURDER.

And they die from suicide because, shockingly, mentally unstable folks make poor decisions about lots of things.

I encourage anyone outraged that I interrupted a ride at Disney to check their privelege [sic].

"Thank you, sanctimonious cock-monger, for enlightening us"

Wonder if he realizes we had a recent President who wire-tapped reporters emails, used the IRS to attack his foes, did all he could to assist Hezbollah, and bragged that he was allowed to murder Americans with no due process --- and he never saw fit to protest that.

[LarryA]

So I was worried I'd be put on some sort of list...

Read history. There's only one list. Everybody is on it.

[Crusty Juggler]

An 18-wheeler crashed in Texas, spilling 40,000 pounds of avocado onto the highway.

More like avocadoh, am I right?

[Fist of Etiquette]

You're wrong. There's no h at the end.

[Bubba Jones]

d'oh!

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

No, avocad'oh are only found in Azeroth and some parts of Harad.

[Crusty Juggler]

Iran cities hit by anti-government protests

The protests began against rising prices but have spiralled into a general outcry against clerical rule and government policies.

[Crusty Juggler]

Stupid links.

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

I believe this is known as being "Fisted" by the Reason staff.

[Fist of Etiquette]

No, it's called NOT BOTHERING TO EVEN LOOK AT THE CAREFULLY HANDCRAFTED OFFICIAL LINKS PROVIDED TO US BY STAFF BEFORE SPOUTING OFF INANELY IN COMMENTS.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Try posting that in response to links from Christian. I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

Fucking Britches ...

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

Well, if he'd been paying attention to what was already posted, he wouldn't have been fisted, now would he? Situational awareness is recommended by experts to be the most important step in reducing the odds of a surprise-fisting incident.

[Episteme]

Let's hold a protest!

[Crusty Juggler]

Chrissy Teigen Is Genuinely Saddened by Guy Fieri's Restaurant Closing

I'm literally in tears right now.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Fieri never had a chance in this crazy work-a-day world.

[Bubba Jones]

Chrissy Teigen: "de-motivational speaker"

[BestUsedCarSales]

I figure this is relevant, I'm only sad it wasn't my first response.

[Don't look at me.]

Achewood rocks.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Let there be no sarcasm assumed from me here. Yes, Achewood fucking rocks.

[Eidde]

An article about Chrissy Teigen without any pictures of her?

[Crusty Juggler]

Substitute teacher, 23, accused of having sex with two students, including 14-year-old

She faces a maximum of five years in prison for each count.

[Half-Virtue, Half-Vice]

It's the nice ones you got to watch out for.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Nice, that means she'll be getting out of prison right about when I'll start finding her attractive.

[Eek Barba Durkle]

'when I'll start finding her attractive'

After 10 years of being beaten down by the system?

[BestUsedCarSales]

Early 30s, and probably after she hasn't been able to shave downstairs in a long time. But nice try to make me look like a weirdo.

[Eidde]

"Your Honor, if you add the ages together, the resulting number is over 18."

[HeteroPatriarch]

Interesting. Apparently a 6 becomes a 10 when she's 9 years older than you.

[Crusty Juggler]

Saoirse Ronan felt 'understood' by Lena Dunham's Girls

Actress Saoirse Ronan found comfort watching TV drama series Girls when she first moved away from home because she related to the characters' struggle with independence.

You and me both, sister.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Truly Lena Dunham is our J.D. Salinger. The only thing left is for her to retreat into hiding for the rest of her life.

[XenoZooValentine]

Someone is going to use her to explain why they shot a musician?

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

I too struggle with female independence.

[Half-Virtue, Half-Vice]

I think you mean 'me too'.

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

"An 18-wheeler crashed in Texas, spilling 40,000 pounds of avocado onto the highway."

"...as if a million Millennial voices had cried out and been suddenly silenced."

[BestUsedCarSales]

So far in this thread you've made a WoW joke, a LotR joke, and a SW joke. It's okay to take it slow during the holidays, man.

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

In the game of comments, you win or you die, BUCS.

[Half-Virtue, Half-Vice]

Just missing some D&D frosting on top.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

What's Magic the Gathering, chopped liver?

[BestUsedCarSales]

Now is the time for me to admit: I don't really understand THAC0.

[Agammamon]

Well, *actually* THAC0 is an abbreviation for To Hit Armor Class Zero (0). To calculate if a hit succeeds you would take the AC of the target and subtract it from the attacker's THAC0, then roll a 20-sided dice; if the dice rolls equal to or higher than the calculated number, the attack hits. That is, THAC0 ? AC = roll needed to hit.

If you have a low THAC0, it means that you're more likely to hit your opponent.

If you have a low AC, it means that you're less likely to be hit by your opponent.

This means that a good character will try to get both their AC and THAC0 values as low as possible!

Example: If the player has an AC of 5 and THAC0 of 10, and the enemy has an AC of 10 and THAC0 of 18:

Chance of player hitting the enemy: 10 - 10 = 0. The player will have a very easy time to hit the enemy. Although it may seem that with these numbers it is impossible to miss, a roll is still required as a roll of a natural 1 is ALWAYS considered a miss.

Chance of enemy hitting the player: 18 - 5 = 13. The enemy will have a hard time hitting the player, since a roll of 13 or above is required.

Another example: If a target has an AC of ?3 and the attacker has a THAC0 of 8, 8 ? (?3) = 11. The attacker must roll 11 or greater to hit.

[Agammamon]

Fighter classes have the best THAC0 progression and spell users have the worst. Lower THAC0 is better, since you have to roll equal to or higher than the to-hit number.

For more on THAC0, consult the AD&D 1st/2nd edition DM Guide(s).

A rough guide to convert THAC0 and AC to 3.0 and higher is to subtract the number from 20. so 20-THAC0= Attack bonus, 20-AC= (New)AC.

using the Above examples the Player now has AC 15 and attack bonus of +10, and the enemy has AC 10 and attack bonus of +2

And damn you Reason character limits for ruining this not-all-that-funny-really joke.

[Eidde]

You'd think someone as nerdy as you would know to use the singular "die" instead of the plural "dice" when referring to only a single die.

[Aloysious]

You forgot to bring your lucky d20.

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

Unfortunately, there is a prohibitive proverb, "never say die".

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

Wait, there are other kinds of spell than fire-based?

[Agammamon]

All my spells are powered by love.

https://tinyurl.com/ya8oruhj

[BestUsedCarSales]

Thought you were going to link to the Book of Erotic Fantasy.

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

Ooh, yes, that burns very well.

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

"China denies selling oil to North Korea."

"I mean, look at that guy's hair- do you really think we would give him MORE oil? How little do you think of us?"

[Red Tony]

"George W. Bush calls for an invasion, says that Kim Jong-Un is hiding weapons of mass destruction 'in his oily oily oh-so-profitable oil-filled hair'."

[Episteme]

Or at least oil paint.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

China denies selling oil to North Korea.

Someone is selling (or giving) oil to NK, unless they've got their own reserves?

[BestUsedCarSales]

I just can't see why China would go out and LIE to us like that though...

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Anti-government protests erupt in Iran.

Because this time...

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Seattle schools roll out new lessons on gender and identity in response to new state rules

With about 20 fidgeting first-graders seated on the carpet in front of her, Kimball Elementary teacher Jacqueline Martinez took an informal poll before reading time.

Are girls allowed to play with Lego blocks, she asked. Can boys like the color purple? Both questions drew a unanimous thumbs up from her students. But their opinions were a bit more mixed when Martinez asked if dads could cook in the kitchen, or if moms should mow the lawn.

[...]

The new books include "Introducing Teddy," a short story Martinez read to her class about a stuffed bear named Teddy who identifies as a girl and wants to be called Tilly.

"He doesn't feel right to be a boy," one student told Martinez.

Speaking for myself, I'm trying to figure out what it would have taken to get my ex-wife to cook in the kitchen OR mow the lawn...

I'd have taken either.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Are girls allowed to play with Lego blocks, she asked. Can boys like the color purple?

No and no.

[Agammamon]

Unless he's black - then its mandatory that he like purple.

[BestUsedCarSales]

"Rather than say, 'Good luck, find your own way,' we felt the need to show what can be consistently taught (across the district) and that align with the new state standards," Love said.

All things that will come in handy when the students are homeless, living in the Jungle.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Finding your own way is the LAST thing the state wants to see.

[Stormy Dragon]

An 18-wheeler crashed in Texas, spilling 40,000 pounds of avocado onto the highway.

o/~ It was just after dark when the truck started across
The plain that leads into Forreston down in Texas.
Carrying forty thousand pounds of avacados.
Carrying forty thousand pounds (hit it Big John) of avacados. o/~

[Eidde]

Is Burt Reynolds still around? Because I have an idea for Smokey and the Bandit, Part III.

[XenoZooValentine]

Does anyone know, where the love of guac goes, when the avocado unload early?

[Agammamon]

An 18-wheeler crashed in Texas, spilling 40,000 pounds of avocado onto the highway.

OK

1. Those poor 20-somethings working sub-living wage social media jobs in San Fransisco are going to see the price of their precious avocado bread spike!

2. There wasn't actually 40,000 pounds of avocados spilt anywhere. The vast majority of them pretty plainly stayed put in the trailer while it burnt.

[Eidde]

You stole my joke about starving millennials.

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

Actually, you *both* stole *my* joke.

[Eidde]

No, you stole mine, then went back in time before my post and posted it like it was yours.

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

#TimeCrim

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