Net Neutrality Is Dead (Will the World Soon Follow?), Speaker Ryan Denies He's Retiring, FBI Agents' Anti-Trump Text Messages Get Eyeballed: P.M. Links

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  KEVIN DIETSCH/UPI/Newscom

  Net Neutrality is dead, so I have no idea how you're able to read these links or how I was able to post them because this was supposed to kill off the internet.

• House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) is denying reports that he's considering retiring from Congress.
• Republican members of the Senate are looking for some answers about anti-Trump text messages from FBI officials, including one who was involved in the investigation of ties between Russia and the Trump campaign. One particular text suggests that the agents should take some sort of undefined action if Trump were to get elected, so it's about more than just government employees preferring Hillary Clinton as president. Here's a take from Stewart Baker at The Volokh Conspiracy.
• Bermuda is reinstituting its ban on legal recognition of same-sex marriage, overturning a court ruling from earlier in the year.
• The publisher of The New York Times, Arthur Sulzberger Jr., is handing the reins over to his 37-year-old son, AG Sulzberger.
• San Diego prosecutors are returning $290,000 they seized from a marijuana business owner last year.

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Comments

[Bacon-Magic glib reasonoid]

Net Neutrality Is Dead (Will the World Soon Follow?)

The end is nye.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Hello.

Net neutrality is dead, we're doing nothing about climate change, sexual assaults are running rampant...

I'm gonna need a bigger Linus blanket.

[Bacon-Magic glib reasonoid]

Woo hoo thanks Rufus. How are we communicating right now without the interwebz?

[Rufus The Monocled]

It's all telepathic.

LIKE AQUAMAN.

[Bacon-Magic glib reasonoid]

{{{sends Rufus poutine signal}}}

[Chipper Morning Baculum]

Poutine signal = an image of blood slowing down

[Episteme]

Latest scandal: internet commentariats discovered molesting fish.

[Chipper Morning Baculum]

The science guy?

[Bacon-Magic glib reasonoid]

^^^ Someone got it. It's science dude, we don't know science.

[Fist of Etiquette]

[crickets]

[Bacon-Magic glib reasonoid]

*chirps*

[Bacon-Magic glib reasonoid]

Scott knows where to prelink...

[Chipper Morning Baculum]

[stridulates penis against leg]

[Fist of Etiquette]

San Diego prosecutors are returning $290,000 they seized from a marijuana business owner last year.

Interest?

[Don't look at me.]

I have lost it.

[Red Tony]

Bermuda is reinstituting its ban on legal recognition of same-sex marriage, overturning a court ruling from earlier in the year.

...well you can cross THAT location off the Beach Boys list.

[Citizen X - #6]

Kokomo is still okay, though.

[Chipper Morning Baculum]

The only Kokomo that matters.

[Red Tony]

Why do you keep changing your last name?

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

Why does a dog lick himself?

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

'Cos Weigel was too busy Christmas shopping ...

[Citizen X - #6]

San Diego prosecutors are returning $290,000 they seized from a marijuana business owner last year.

They're returning it in pennies, which they've rubbed all over their junk.

[Chipper Morning Baculum]

That seems like it would take a while.

[Don't look at me.]

Why rush things?

[Citizen X - #6]

It took a year.

[BYODB]

Well, that would explain the patina...

[Sal Paradise]

Joke's on them, those were all ass pennies.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Net Neutrality is dead, so I have no idea how you're able to read these links or how I was able to post them because this was supposed to kill off the internet.

But you do notice how all of the sudden the pro-neutrality voices were silenced today.

[Don't look at me.]

Couldn't get their laptops to read their credit cards.

[Mazakon]

Net Neutrality Is Dead (Will the World Soon Follow?)

It was already going to die because of the tax bill. This is just a "to be sure" thing.

[Chipper Morning Baculum]

I knew Robby was to blame for this somehow.

[Fist of Etiquette]

...so it's about more than just government employees preferring Hillary Clinton as president.

From what I hear, that certainly doesn't include the Secret Service agents assigned to her detail.

[Bacon-Magic glib reasonoid]

In honor of Net Neutrality neutering I give you freakiness

[John]

The national treasure that is Iowahawk on the end of Net Neutrality.

If Net Neutrality is repealed:
? the internet will cost $879.95 per day
? Millions will lose their lives
? Displaced internet hobos will aimlessly ride freightcars around the barren American wasteland
? Stealing pies from our window sills

If Net Neutrality is repealed:
? Twitter will begin charging to tweet
? Fewer people will be on Twitter
? Twitter will go away
? I forgot where I was going with this

http://twitter.com/iowahawkblo.....6709443584

[John]

And this

Before forming an opinion on Net Neutrality, it's probably best to read the latest studies from the Journal of Hysterical Facebook Infographics

The Journal of Hysterical Facebook Infographics, I am so stealing that.

[BestUsedCarSales]

And his best buddy just became a Federal Judge. Now all we need is another close election and things are in place for Willetts to declare Iowahawk President.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Huh, and now Iowahawk's twitter reminded me that IMAO exists. Haven't read that since I was a kid.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Also, s'up John. Thought you left us again.

[John]

Just been busy. Lots of drama you wouldn't want to hear about. But thanks for remembering me.

[Bacon-Magic glib reasonoid]

I missed you

[Rufus The Monocled]

Stop drinking.

[Epar]

I always knew you were gay.

[Rufus The Monocled]

You? Drama?

You don't say!

[John]

Nothing interesting or scandalous. Just a family illness.

[Chipper Morning Baculum]

Oh. Hope everyone is doing better. If not, I wish your family member a quick and painless recovery.

[John]

Thank you. It is not great, but such is life.

[Chipper Morning Baculum]

No, we definitely want to read about your drama.

What was it? The girl you were dating turned out to be a Hipsterella? DHS audited browser history? The Glibs re-invited you and then re-banned you?

[Bacon-Magic glib reasonoid]

Freakin' Glibs.

[BYODB]

...ok if I wasn't at work right now I would be creating that group just for giggles. Or is it actually already a thing?

[lap83]

Net Neutrality is dead, so I have no idea how you're able to read these links or how I was able to post them because this was supposed to kill off the internet.

According to snippets I heard on NPR, we are the ones who are going to be killed

[John]

They read it in the Journal of Hysterical Facebook Infographics' article Iowahawk references above. So, it must be true.

[Citizen X - #6]

You weren't kidding about stealing that.

[Fist of Etiquette]

One particular text suggests that the agents should take some sort of undefined action if Trump were to get elected...

Move to Canada?

[Red Tony]

House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) is denying reports that

Republican members of the Senate are looking for some answers about

handing the reins over to

Bermuda

because this was supposed to kill off the internet.

[Citizen X - #6]

[snaps fingers]

[Fist of Etiquette]

House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) is denying reports that he's considering retiring from Congress.

He's just one impeachment and one heartbeat away from the presidency!

[John]

He is one successful impeachment and one heartbeat away from the presidency. Big difference.

[Red Tony]

One heart attack and one angry wife away. That's an easier route.

[The Last American Hero]

Not with Pence's policy on dealing with female co-workers.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Bermuda is reinstituting its ban on legal recognition of same-sex marriage, overturning a court ruling from earlier in the year.

Luckily all those gays who got married are already divorced.

[Brandybuck]

They can't get married because the gays done destroyed marriage itself.

[Chipper Morning Baculum]

I wonder how many gays there actually are in Bermuda. Isn't the population like 65,000? Let's say 2% are gay. That is 1,300 people. Holly shit, that is still quite a lot of people.

[BYODB]

Although from another angle, the more gay people there are in Bermuda the fewer future people there will be in Bermuda.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

HA!

You forget Gay Bermudese Russian Adoptions.

[BYODB]

D'oh!

You got me there! Although I always sort of thought that was one of the benefits of being gay in that you didn't have to deal with children. That shouldn't stop one from choosing to inflict that on yourself and your partner, though, regardless of orientation.

At the very least, I'd say that that the rate of gay adoptions probably will never outpace accidental pregnancies from idiot teens.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Net Neutrality is dead, so I have no idea how you're able to read these links or how I was able to post them because this was supposed to kill off the internet.

You guys AREN'T TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY

[some guy]

It's seriously a good thing.

[$park? leftist poser]

Net Neutrality is dead, so I have no idea how you're able to read these links or how I was able to post them because this was supposed to kill off the internet.

We're all operating on the dark web right now thanks to Internet Protocol 274 which kicked in when the main line was cut. Nobody knows how long it will stay in operation for though so enjoy it while you can.

[John]

http://www.educationdive.com/n.....ed/513067/

Pro tip; staging fake hate crimes and making Lena Dunham your most famous alumni doesn't help with your enrollment. Who knew?

[some guy]

I might cry, but only because I'm laughing so hard.

[Rufus The Monocled]

I truly hope that's the reason.

[sharmota4zeb]

From the article:
Dive Insight:
Colleges and universities throughout the U.S. are seeing a drop in enrollment in recent years, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. Enrollment dropped by 4% from 2010 to 2014 in degree-granting institutions, and the agency says that from 2014 to 2025 the number of students under age 25 enrolling in college will jump 13 percent, compared with 18 percent for students 25 or older as the size of high school graduating classes grows smaller.
...
If Oberlin is not faring well, in terms of meeting enrollment goals, this says a lot for fate of the rest of the industry. The budget shortfalls at this top institution underscore the need for institutions of all sizes and missions to more closely examine their revenue streams and find ways to be less reliant on tuition in the face of enrollment declines and a political climate which favors affordability and will be less tolerant of raising tuition to close gaps. ?

This is the difference between preaching evolution and understanding evolution. Generations of college professors taught that birth control and extra years of education were the key to building a better society. Now they are running out of other people's descendants.

[Bubba Jones]

Wait. They aren't just saying the applications are down? Actual enrollments are down?

[BestUsedCarSales]

Here's a take from Stewart Baker at The Volokh Conspiracy.

You're just showing off that he publishes here now.

[Citizen X - #6]

Whoa. Who are all these weirdos in the comments on that post? I'M UNCOMFORTABLE.

[Red Tony]

What is "The most common reaction to Crusty?"

[Chipper Morning Baculum]

Running?

[BYODB]

IBS?

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

Fainting-Goat-like fainting?

[BestUsedCarSales]

It's weird. And they're polite. And even when they tell someone to fuck off THEY GIVE AN ENTIRE REASON.

Some sort of madness in there.

[Chipper Morning Baculum]

I'll get working on that.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

"And even when they tell someone to fuck off THEY GIVE AN ENTIRE REASON."

Well, for a magazine called "Reason" ...

[Episteme]

Welcome to Earth-2. Please wipe your feet.

[John]

Baker is giving some pretty fucking weak tea there. The tweet said ""I want to believe the path you threw out for consideration in Andy's office [Andy McCabe is the FBI deputy director and married to a Democratic Virginiia State Senate candidate] for that there's no way he gets elected ? but I'm afraid we can't take that risk. It's like an insurance policy in the unlikely event you die before you're 40?"

Just what was this plan that was threw out in McCabe's office? And how exactly was it an insurance policy against Trump winning the election? Without the answer to those questions, there is no way to dismiss this as nothing. Could it be as Baker argues that they are just talking about investigating Trump? Maybe, but even that assumes the investigation is just a political hitjob. If it was a real investigation, the prospect of Trump losing the election would not mean ending it. So, it wouldn't be an insurance policy against anything. It would be an investigation that would continue no matter what.

All Baker does is just say "there must be an innocent explanation here". No, there mustn't be. There may be. But there may not be. Baker is a former fed and is just shilling for the feds here assuring everyone that they should get the benefit of the doubt. No, they shouldn't. And it is a bit odd for a bunch of self-proclaimed Libertarians to think they should.

[Tony]

Maybe the deep state should figure out how to get rid of Trump for the good of the country. Ever consider that?

[John]

Sure, Tony lets let the FBI have a veto over elections. That will work out well. Good god you are a stupid loathsome person. You really are.

[Tony]

But you're just fine with Russia doing it.

[BYODB]

*facepalm*

[HeteroPatriarch]

Amazing. It's actually possible to have negative credibility.

[Sevo]

"Maybe the deep state should figure out how to get rid of Trump for the good of the country. Ever consider that?"

Yeah, scumbag, that's what we expect from you.

[Rufus The Monocled]

That's obtuse even by your standards.

[Tony]

Just wanted to see what John would say. He always disappoints!

[chemjeff]

Devoid of full context, we don't really know exactly what the text message was supposed to mean or what exactly the "insurance policy" metaphor was supposed to mean.

[Jerryskids]

All I know is when I was a kid there was no Net Neutrality and we didn't have any internet service at all. You think that was just coincidence?

[Don't look at me.]

TV WAS BLACK AND WHITE!

[Unicorn Abattoir]

Wow, racist much?

[Don't look at me.]

FM RADIO IS SUBVERSIVE!

[Arizona_Guy]

"All I know is when I was a kid there was no Net Neutrality and we didn't have any internet service at all. You think that was just coincidence?"

I am so stealing that.

[Unlabelable MJGreen]

Goddamnit, why won't reasonable work any more

[BestUsedCarSales]

I know. It's horrible, broke sometime last night.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Uhh, maybe you didn't get the Net Neutrality memo.

[Tony]

James Carville once pointed out that every special prosecutor always has to be a Republican. Why? Because, that's why. Just part of the overarching whiny entitled victimhood shit they have been playing at for decades.

Apparently now the new rule is that every FBI agent has to be a Republican as well. You have to give them this: they are good at the whining. Experts.

[Bacon-Magic glib reasonoid]

Nothing James Carville has said should ever be repeated. *drags $100 bill through hipster slum to pick up Tony's*

[Rufus The Monocled]

Seriously.

[Tony]

I can always count on you guys to latch onto the least relevant part of any comment.

[Bacon-Magic glib reasonoid]

You make points?

[Tony]

Well, point, at least.

[Don't look at me.]

The one on the top of your head?

[Tony]

I am to the faux-hawk what Anna Wintour is to the bob.

[Bacon-Magic glib reasonoid]

I agree you are faux. I see your point.

[BYODB]

"I pity the faux!"

Mr. C

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Anna "Nuclear" Wintour?

[Sevo]

Tony|12.14.17 @ 5:12PM|#
"I can always count on you guys to latch onto the least relevant part of any comment."

Maybe if you posted something that wasn't a lie or a pack of innuendo, you might be taken seriously.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Should have ended that with an explanation point.

[Harun]

I remember the days of Obama where I was told by the media that there was a consensus that we never had special prosecutors again.

Until 15 days in to Trump.

Then we needed one right away!

[The Last American Hero]

I remember in the days of Obama where I was told by the media that anyone who didn't accept the results of the 2016 Election was just a partisan hack that cared more about party politics than the well being of the country.

Then Trump got elected.

[chemjeff]

I agree that it's silly to expect every FBI agent to have specific partisan loyalties. They are human beings, they are free to believe whatever they wish. I would expect them to act like the professionals that they claim to be.

But it is not enough that the investigation be technically fair, it has to appear fair as well to the public. The whole thing is going to be judged not just in a court of law, but in the court of public opinion.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

"Net Neutrality is dead, so I have no idea how you're able to read these links or how I was able to post them because this was supposed to kill off the internet."

Just let Britches handle it, Schlakenfrod.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Bermuda is reinstituting its ban on legal recognition of same-sex marriage, overturning a court ruling from earlier in the year.

Whoa, young gay men hardest hit.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

"I have the utmost respect for women and celebrate the courage of those who have come forth to tell their truth. To be clear, I have never groped, coerced, or exposed myself inappropriately to any workplace colleague in my entire broadcast career, covering 6 networks over 30 years," he said in a statement on Wednesday. "Never. Ever. Never."

Except them bitches that accuse my ass!

[Sal Paradise]

NO CARRIER

[Bra Ket]

"Bermuda is reinstituting its ban on legal recognition of same-sex marriage, overturning a court ruling from earlier in the year."

So they've overturned the judicial veto on banning the legality.

In other words, they're not not not allowing it anymore.