Brickbat: Drug Cocktail


drug cocktail
Ashley Whitworth / Dreamstime

The owners of a Layton, Utah, Subway store have sued the police department after officials falsely accused one its its workers of spiking an officer's drink with meth and THC. State crime lab tests showed no drugs in the drink. The owners say their reputation was damaged and the store lost tens of thousands of dollars in business. After they announced their plans to sue, a city attorney offered to let them cater the city Christmas party.

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  1. Nice try, Mr. Oliver. But just a little too obvious.

  2. The officer drove a few miles, pulled over and ate the meal, then took three sips of the lemonade.

    “It tasted really, really weird,” the officer later told an investigator.

    Soon, the officer felt “dizzy, hyper-vigilant, disconnected, had pain in his chest and stomach, felt ‘warm inside’ and could not feel his legs,” a detective’s report said.

    Based on his sudden symptoms, an investigation into a possible poisoning or drugging began.

    I can almost guarantee the cop in question had just finished training on how to tell when you’ve been given something spiked. Second theory is that this guy is a recreational drug user or a juicer and had just found out his employer was planning drug testing for officers and was afraid something would show up in his blood analysis with no valid explanation, so he needed to make up a story as a cover.

    1. I would place a bet on the latter.

    2. I’ve never heard of cops getting tested after being hired. Once in a position of public trust they are beyond reproach. As far as steroids go, that’s just part of the job.

    3. My theory is they charged him for the meal so he wanted to put them out of business.

  3. Honestly it sounds like a pretty good deal.

  4. When will Mormons stop using drugs? They say the guy is on mission. We all know he is meeting with his suppliers.

    1. If you go fishing with a Mormon you need to make sure you have another Mormon in the boat, or else the first one will drink all your beer.

  5. State crime lab tests showed no drugs in the drink.

    State crime labs are notoriously unreliable, haven’t we seen several articles right here on lab techs being arrested for misconduct and labs being shut down and how forensics is fake science? If the officer is willing to make a sworn statement as to what drugs in what quantity were in his drink, why, the word of an officer is taken as gospel in any court in the land.

    1. It was the Feds – well, and maybe most of the States. I’m holding out hope that there is at least one State or municipality somewhere that has a competent and honest crime lab. Google FBI hair analysis scandal.

      The Justice Department and FBI have formally acknowledged that nearly every examiner in an elite FBI forensic unit gave flawed testimony in almost all trials in which they offered evidence against criminal defendants over more than a two-decade period before 2000.

  6. Nice sandwich you got there buddy, it’d be a shame if something happened to it…

  7. In a free market, vendors are always adopting each others practices to best serve the customer.

    In this case, Subway was adopting from Chipotle

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