Charles Bronson vs. the World
Friday A/V Club: A comedy of violence

So Bruce Willis will star in a remake of Death Wish. I suppose I could use that news to write something serious about the old Death Wish series and the revenge-movie genre, but I already did that back when Charles Bronson died in 2003; I still agree with most of what I wrote back then, and the stuff I'm not as sure about isn't worth belaboring here. And if you want to mull what it means to see Hollywood harkening now to a vigilante vision from the high-crime '70s—well, that'll be a good topic for when the film actually appears.
No, today we're going to talk about something else. Today we're going to talk about Death Wish 3.
Released in 1985, the year we hit Peak Rambo, Death Wish 3 achieves a hallucinatory frenzy that defies such petty aesthetic categories as "good" and "bad." Its storyline is about as realistic as a Max Ernst painting and its body count rivals Vietnam's. As I wrote back in 2003, it's
the installment in which the series started to veer into self-parody but had not yet been reduced entirely to a fistful of boring shoot-em-ups. As [Charles Bronson] sets up one elaborate deathtrap after another, he starts to seem less like Batman and more like Wile E. Coyote—except that his Acme gear actually works. His enemy-cum-ally is a cop with Harry Callahan's ideas about civil liberties; in one priceless scene, as the officer interrogates Bronson, the latter snarls, "Do you always violate people's constitutional rights?" It's not clear whether this movie is supposed to be a comedy, but it succeeds surprisingly well on that level.
Every Death Wish sequel is ludicrous, but Death Wish 3 has hints of self-awareness, as though the filmmakers deliberately set out to make the most ludicrous action movie they could. But for all I know they were completely sincere. Authorial intent is almost beside the point here. Like the best bulldada, it exists in a state beyond earnestness and irony.
If you want to watch the whole movie, it's streaming for three bucks here. But if you just want the giddy highlights, you're in luck: Someone has made a Death Wish 3 in 10 Minutes edit, which I've embedded below. My favorite exchange comes at the 1:27 mark, but the video doesn't get transcendently ridiculous until the urban warfare takes off, circa 4:44.
N.B.: There are a few seconds of nudity about two-thirds of the way through, so you may not want to watch this at the office.
(For previous editions of the Friday A/V Club, go here.)
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Every Death Wish sequel is ludicrous
I literally can't rite now.
3 is hilarious, though.
My favorite exchange comes at the 1:27 mark...
Is it the character or the writer who doesn't know that private citizens can't violate constitutional rights?
But more importantly, it's obvious Walker doesn't remember the hellscape that was American crime and police ineffectuality (coined - don't use without credit) in the late 70's to mid 80's before Reagan optimism took hold. We needed a libertarian standard bearer like Bronson's Paul Kersey. Heck, the character is an architect. This is practically a scene-for-scene remake of The Fountainhead, as far as this film buff is concerned.
as far as this film buff is concerned.
Damn, put some clothes on!
Fist watches films as nature intended
Is it the character or the writer who doesn't know that private citizens can't violate constitutional rights?
He's speaking to a cop.
Yeah, I missed that. I thought it was the cop who said, "You always violate people's constitutional rights." But that was our vigilante (even though his lips seem to stop moving toward the end of that sentence). And then POW!
Is it the character or the writer who doesn't know that private citizens can't violate constitutional rights?
Eeeeh, you can actually be convicted of violating someone's civil rights-- as a private citizen.
The first one wasn't too bad, but the sequels sure got ridiculous fast.
And , if you want to watch all Death Wish movies in about 20 minutes
Might have a few seconds of bewbs though
https://youtu.be/fFGfYqNzlP4
Revenge movies ranked:
Point Blank
Get Carter
Man On Fire
the first Death Wish
Next of Kin
Point Blank was awful. The director's cut of Payback was pretty solid though.
Point Blank was awful.
False.
Does the director's cut not have the voiceover? Asking for a friend.
How could you possibly exclude I Spit on Your Grave? One of the greatest rape fantasy revenge movies ever made!
Revenge movies ranked:
What exactly constitutes a 'Revenge' movie?
Some rather notable revenge-themed movies that make your list seem... amateurish.
High Plains Drifter
The Outlaw Josey Wales
Kill Bill
Django Unchained
Inglorious Basterds
Shooter
John Wick
Mad Max
I mean I understand a list being incomplete, but it's like you weren't even trying.
I mean, Next of Kin in the Top *5*? Really? I can understand leaving out stuff that, while revenge-themed, may not have a prototypical 'Revenge Movie' feel like Gladiator or Conan The Barbarian, but Next Of Kin?
Even if it's only mocking/satire, your complete lack of Steven Seagal is disappointing.
I mean, Next of Kin in the Top *5*? Really?
One of cinema's many underappreciated masterpieces.
it's like you weren't even trying.
I was going to list best 70s revenge films, and then I realized Point Blank was in the 60s and I gave up.
High Plains Drifter is an excellent addition.
Ah, I completely missed the 'Classic' aspect.
I am with you on Crusty being horrible at movies, but you didn't even add any from Park Chan-Wook's vengeance trilogy
/wins the snob award
Revenge of the Nerds is a glaring omission
That movie's so stupid, it's worse than all of 100+ other Cannon-produced vigilante garbage films from the early 80's. Darn shame though, always thought Charles Bronson should have lost 20 pounds and played a cossack in five or six Jerzy Hoffman films.
Dang, that was like a video of my playing Fallout 4 cleaning the Commonwealth of raiders...
Holy shit. Marina Sirius is in it? OK, gotta watch it now.
N.B.: There are a few seconds of nudity about two-thirds of the way through, so you may not want to watch this at the office.
I'm streaming this on my corporate network now.
Revenge films are like Kabuki; any resemblance to reality is completely tangental. Oh, a revenge movies CAN be realistic-ish, but that isn't the point. It CAN'T be the point, because a real revenge movie would be sickening, not cathartic. HISTORY OF VIOLENCE tap-dances along that line, but is cartoonish in other ways.
Yes, DEATH WISH 3 is absurd. It's also fairly weak. It is to good films about violence what POLICE ACADEMY is to comedy; momentarily amusing, and worth going back to once in a while, but hardly great.
I have somehow gone my whole life without seeing a single Death Wish movie.
They made plenty. Any good?
The first one is an effective thriller. The third is entertaining just for being so insane. The rest are eminently skippable.
It's good to see that Bill S. Preston, Esq. finally got his life together after this.