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U.S. Muslims See More Discrimination and Support, U.S. May Arm Ukraine, Health Care Vote Update: A.M. Links

Elizabeth Nolan Brown | 7.26.2017 9:00 AM

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  • A national survey of American Muslims found perceptions of anti-Muslim discrimination are on the rise, but so is the sense that Americans are supportive of Muslims.
  • Which health-care plan is the Senate voting on today? A handy guide to the GOP's current legislative antics.
  • Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte is threatening to bombs schools that teach anti-government sentiment.
  • Canadian alt-right personality Lauren Southern has moved on from shouting at college feminists to attempting to stop ships full of migrants from entering Europe. It hasn't worked out so well.
  • Trump says he could be the "most presidential" president since Abraham Lincoln, he just chooses not to.
  • Newly appointed Ambassador Kurt Volker said the U.S. may help arm Ukrainian government forces fighting against Russian-backed rebels. Volker "told the BBC that arming Ukrainian government forces could change Moscow's approach" but "he did not think the move would be provocative," the BBC reported. "Russia warned that anything that heightened tension could jeopardize a solution to the conflict."
  • Rethink your plans to mail exotic wildlife in potato-chip canisters.

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    Elizabeth Nolan Brown is a senior editor at Reason.

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    1. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

      Marsha Marsha Marsha

      1. Rufus The Monocled   8 years ago

        Hello.

        Alice: I know Jan, but Obama did claim to be one of the best Presidents ever and preside over the most transparent administration ever. Now hand me that jar of pickles, you know how your father gets when he doesn't get his...pickles.

    2. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

      Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte is threatening to bombs schools that teach anti-government sentiment.

      Public schooling did that for me, but not on purpose.

      1. Chipper Morning, Now #1   8 years ago

        Congrats on your first comment.

        1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

          Thanks man. I'll put it on the shelf with the others.

      2. Anomalous   8 years ago

        I used to get bombed at school too.

        1. Chipper Morning, Now #1   8 years ago

          Ah, yes, the de-licing room.

      3. paranoid android   8 years ago

        Has Trump called to tell him what a great job he's doing getting kids engaged in education?

    3. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

      Trump says he could be the "most presidential" president since Abraham Lincoln, he just chooses not to.

      So habeas corpus is safe?

      1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

        Also, unless the #Resistance gets over its animistic fear of guns, there's no danger of a civil war.

        1. Chipper Morning, Now #1   8 years ago

          Whining can be a powerful weapon. It works well on me.

          1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

            Again, your love life is incredibly depressing to read about.

            1. Crusty Juggler :)   8 years ago

              Tears do make for a wonderful lubricant.

              1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

                Chipper has never had an orgasm without apologizing afterward.

                1. Chipper Morning, Now #1   8 years ago

                  It's such a powerful eruption, that it causes pain and startlement, to all participants. Apologies are good manners.

        2. Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting   8 years ago

          Also, unless the #Resistance gets over its animistic fear of guns, there's no danger of a civil war

          I've actually started to see some comments related to this amongst the more fetid shitlib fever swamps. They're in a real intellectual bind because they want to see private ownership of firearms banned, but are freaked out enough that they're going through all kinds of intellectual gymnastics to justify buying a gun alongside some "cousin-humping redneck".

      2. Jerryskids   8 years ago

        You ever seen the size of Lincoln's hands?

    4. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

      Trump says he could be the "most presidential" president since Abraham Lincoln, he just chooses not to.

      Now he's just making up entire concepts.

      1. Chipper Morning, Now #1   8 years ago

        He has the bestest, yuugest concepts. Sad!

      2. creech   8 years ago

        Too bad he doesn't choose to ride his horse out to the Soldier's Home, without any bodyguards, like Lincoln did.
        And I hear "American Cousin" is playing at Ford's Theater this weekend.

        1. Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting   8 years ago

          To be fair, they did practically have to sneak him into DC for the inauguration thanks to the violent tendencies of #TheResistance.

          1. creech   8 years ago

            "Biggest inauguration crowd in history!"

    5. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

      A national survey of American Muslims found perceptions of anti-Muslim discrimination are on the rise, but so is the sense that Americans are supportive of Muslims.

      We support our Muslims so that we can be against them.

      1. damikesc   8 years ago

        They should try being Christians, where the press and pop culture isn't desperately proclaiming how peaceful and loving Christians are should any decide that killing, say, 50 people in a club would be a solid idea.

        Fuck Muslim snowflakes. In the global battle who is more unpleasant to whom, nobody is going to approach the levels of Muslims.

        1. Eek Barba Durkle   8 years ago

          Fuck Muslim snowflakes. In the global battle who is more unpleasant to whom, nobody is going to approach the levels of Muslims.

          That's right, Muslims are indiscriminately bombing OUR funerals and weddings every day. I forgot.

          Muslims ain't got shit on the US government when it comes to terrorism, and random acts of violence on innocents. Go ahead, pretend like this isn't self-evidently, empirically true.

          1. Troy muy grande boner   8 years ago

            Well if you have some Muslims say a b1 bomber, I'm sure They would try to catch up post haste.

            1. BestUsedCarSales   8 years ago

              So your argument is, "Of course we kill more, we're more powerful."

          2. damikesc   8 years ago

            That's right, Muslims are indiscriminately bombing OUR funerals and weddings every day. I forgot.

            Might want to ask Israel about how kind and sweet the Muzzies are.

            Muslims ain't got shit on the US government when it comes to terrorism

            Their governments fund far more of it than the US has ever dreamed of. And they actually do the terrorism. So, yes, they are the worst of the worst.

            But keep justifying them. I bet if a Christian went into the Pulse nightclub and murdered 50 people, you'd claim it was because of mistreatment of Christians...

            1. Zeb   8 years ago

              But keep justifying them.

              Oh, give it a rest. Any suggestion that perhaps you are painting Muslims with too broad a brush is not "justifying" anyone. No one is saying that the Pulse nightclub thing was because of mistreatment of Muslims or in any way justified.

              1. $park? leftist poser   8 years ago

                But Zeb, disagreeing with one point means supporting the opposite point. This is not 'Nam, Zeb. This is the Internet, there are rules.

            2. Eek Barba Durkle   8 years ago

              Their governments fund far more of it than the US has ever dreamed of. And they actually do the terrorism. So, yes, they are the worst of the worst.

              This is either ignorance, or dishonesty. Maybe a combo of the two.

              But it's 100% horseshit. Factually. Beyond rational dispute.

              Unless, of course, you simply redefine 'terrorism' to 'things that groups of goat herders do', and cut out the sustained and indiscriminate bombing we've been perpetrating in their countries for several decades now.

              1. Azathoth!!   8 years ago

                you're just as dead when you're killed by a goat herder

          3. Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting   8 years ago

            Muslims ain't got shit on the US government when it comes to terrorism, and random acts of violence on innocents.

            Sorry, but the US has a way to go to catch up to Islam's 1400-year history of such things.

        2. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

          Sure, let's keep talking about people as if the identity group label we slap on them overrides their individuality. THAT'S never led to problems.

          1. Troy muy grande boner   8 years ago

            I think you are too small for this ride.

            1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

              Acid flashback to your time as a carnie? I don't get it.

              1. Zeb   8 years ago

                Mr. boner is rarely very coherent.

          2. Mickey Rat   8 years ago

            Then you have throw out the premise of the poll questions in the first place.

            1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

              I'm okay with that.

          3. Troy muy grande boner   8 years ago

            https://t.co/L1vdF70SQd

            So like how many children have to be raped before you see the fucking pattern?

            1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

              Child rape is your go-to non-sequitur?

              1. Chipper Morning, Now #1   8 years ago

                Another carnie flashback?

            2. Hail Rataxes   8 years ago

              Let us know when they catch up to the Catholics.

          4. damikesc   8 years ago

            Muslims don't seem to have any problems being labeled as Muslim. They seem quite proud of it.

            1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

              I suppose you don't even recognize the circularity of that comment, do you.

          5. Azathoth!!   8 years ago

            Sure, let's keep talking about people as if the belief system they fervently adhere to and acclaim isn't what they scream that it is as they explode in our faces, or drive a vehicle into a crowd of people, or open fire on a random assortment of people and is actually just a variant of good old Western Liberal Democracy. THAT'S never led to problems.

            SYHBUYAFY*

            *shoved your head back up your ass for you

            1. Telcontar the Wanderer   8 years ago

              "They".

              "They" fervently adhere to.

              If you can't immediately see what is wrong with the use of that word in that sentence, then you are no libertarian.

        3. Drave Robber   8 years ago

          Or fuck pollsters asking stupid questions.

    6. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

      Which health-care plan is the Senate voting on today?

      Whichever one is going to fail the hardest.

      1. John DeWitt   8 years ago

        That's an interesting link...leads to this stellar analysis:

        "Skinny" repeal
        Repeal the individual and employer mandates, as well as the taxes on medical device companies
        Leave the Medicaid expansion, subsidies, and marketplace regulations such as preexisting conditions protections in place
        The CBO has not scored the plan as a whole, but pieces have been scored in the past. Eliminating the individual mandate, for instance, would cause 15 million more people to become uninsured over the decade.

        So 15 mil people would opt not to buy insurance, so they would be uninsured. Because they chose to be. We can't let that happen.

    7. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

      Canadian alt-right personality Lauren Southern has moved on from shouting at college feminists to attempting to stop ships full of migrants from entering Europe.

      No wonder Irish loved her so.

      1. Anomalous   8 years ago

        Lauren Southern? Would.

      2. Chipper Morning, Now #1   8 years ago

        Plus she looks like she is smuggling in two nice potatoes.

      3. damikesc   8 years ago

        Don't see why Canadians or Americans should step in and force Europe to stop committing cultural suicide.

        1. MWG   8 years ago

          "Cultural suicide"? My god the alt-right is insufferable.

          1. Chipper Morning, Now #1   8 years ago

            Should we call them Culture Justice Warriors?

            1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

              How about Cultural Unfairness Crusader Kings?

            2. MWG   8 years ago

              Uh, I think they'd prefer Mass Cultural Appropriators(tm) or MCAs.

          2. damikesc   8 years ago

            "Cultural suicide"? My god the alt-right is insufferable.

            Hardly alt-right.

            But I'm not sure how many more child prostitution and gang rape occurrences that need to occur before you recognize that there might be a cultural issue here.

            All cultures are not equal. Arabic culture is a dumpster fire that has produced little of worth in centuries.

            1. Zeb   8 years ago

              No one is saying that it would be just fine if Arab culture became dominant in Europe.

              1. Azathoth!!   8 years ago

                No one is saying that it would be just fine if Arab culture became dominant in Europe.

                No, you're all just saying that you're a fascist if you try to stop it.

            2. MWG   8 years ago

              "Hardly alt-right."

              If it looks and acts like a duck...

              "European Culture" (whatever the fuck that means) is not at all close to disappearing. Change your pants and relax.

        2. Troy muy grande boner   8 years ago

          Hey God damn it. Treat every one of those 10000s of rapist as individuals.

          1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

            Um... yeah. Mete out consequences for a crime based on the choices and actions of the individual perpetrator, without consideration of what racial or religious or sexual category they can be slotted into. This is called justice, homeboy.

            If you do take identity group into consideration, that's called social justice, and it is the opposite of actual justice.

            1. Chipper Morning, Now #1   8 years ago

              Well put.

            2. damikesc   8 years ago

              If Europe wishes to import tons of people whose beliefs are in stark contrast to Western Enlightenment values, that is their decision. It is asinine and retarded, but I don't care if they wish to stop being European.

              Given poll numbers of approval for truly heinous things amongst their new arrivals, I wouldn't let them in.

              But, hey, I guess the young boys who get raped at pools because a "refugee" had a sexual crisis probably deserve it. Women who get gang raped on New Years as the government tries to cover it up --- sluts had it coming, amirite?

              1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

                And the point passes so far over damikesc's head that the FAA is worried.

                1. $park? leftist poser   8 years ago

                  Hey listen, it's not terrorism when white guys do it.

            3. Azathoth!!   8 years ago

              The problem is that the perpetrators clearly come from a culture in which this is okay.

              We're not talking one rape here--we're talking thousands of them. Organized like a business or a public utility. That unknown numbers of men patronized--and unknown numbers of men and women never said anything about.

              It may hurt like hell to collectivize--but there's clearly some horrific cultural thing going on here.

              And it has to be stopped. Because it's not good for anyone.

              So how do we do it--break a cultural norm--while trying to pretend that it's not a cultural norm because that's collectivizing?

          2. Zeb   8 years ago

            Well, yes. How else are you going to do it? Not collectively punishing whole groups of people is one of the key things that makes Western culture good.

    8. Crusty Juggler :)   8 years ago

      Criminal probe launched over Pentagon's $28M 'forest' uniforms for Afghan troops

      The top U.S. oversight official in Afghanistan said Tuesday he has launched a criminal probe into why the Pentagon may have wasted up to $28 million on pricey forest-camouflage uniforms for Afghan troops who operate in a largely desert environment.

      "This...procurement demonstrates what happens when people in the government don't follow the rules," John Sopko, the Special Inspector General for Afghanistan Reconstruction, told a House Armed Services subcommittee on Tuesday. "These problems are serious. They are so serious that we started a criminal investigation related to the procurement of the (Afghan National Army) uniforms."

      1. Enjoy Every Sandwich   8 years ago

        It isn't bad enough that they waste our money. They've got to do it in the stupidest fucking way possible.

        And I want these numbnuts in charge of healthcare...why?

      2. Tom Bombadil   8 years ago

        Doing it wrong the first time is a proven way of doubling your profits.

      3. Rat on a train   8 years ago

        Have they requested the additional funds to plant trees in Afghanistan? If they don't spend the additional money the $28M will be wasted.

        1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

          See, THIS guy is thinking of solutions!

          1. The Real Jose   8 years ago

            Straight shooter with "upper management" written all over him

    9. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

      Volker "told the BBC that arming Ukrainian government forces could change Moscow's approach" but "he did not think the move would be provocative," the BBC reported.

      Only insomuch as Ivan can't be provoked more than he is right now.

      1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

        But Trump is Putin's puppet, which means that any US arming of Ukrainian insurgents is merely providing a fig leaf of casus belli for Russia to take over Ukraine completely!

        I think i might have scooped CNN on this one.

    10. Crusty Juggler :)   8 years ago

      Study: These Types of People Are Having the Best Sex

      So, lesson learned? If you want to enjoy sex more, stop obsessing over it.

      Yeah. Take that to heart, freaks.

      1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

        You know, after i've made sweet, thoughtful love to a lady, there has never once been a time that i've thought "That was not all that great."

        1. Chipper Morning, Now #1   8 years ago

          What about that time when, as you were saying it, you saw Crusty's face in the window?

          1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

            That turned out to be a mostly-plucked owl. We had a laugh about it later.

          2. Troy muy grande boner   8 years ago

            I only do Crusty doggy style, so I don't know.

            1. Telcontar the Wanderer   8 years ago

              Oh, so you two are into pegging, then...

        2. BestUsedCarSales   8 years ago

          Every time I have sex, I think afterwards that I'd rather have been masturbating to weird pornography.

      2. Unlabelable MJGreen   8 years ago

        If Trump's not at the top of the list, I'm not reading it.

      3. Dillinger   8 years ago

        no time to read, obsessing over Lauren Southern.

        1. Unlabelable MJGreen   8 years ago

          I was thinking the other day, it's been nice not knowing what Lauren Southern has been doing for the past six months. I'm also blissfully unaware of the latest Gamergate-related controversies, or the loopy Internet feminism and its critics connected to it.

          1. Dillinger   8 years ago

            yeah. i just learned what a Lauren Southern was like 20 minutes ago, and avoided gamergate like the plague.

    11. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

      Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte is threatening to bombs schools that teach anti-government sentiment.

      Now that's who should go on Mount Rushmore.

    12. Crusty Juggler :)   8 years ago

      For Some Turtles, Science Is a Real Turn-On

      a group of researchers recently found an innovative and relatively simple way to determine the sex of turtles in the field, coaxing reluctant males into, um, revealing themselves, through the judicious application of a vibrator.

      1. Chipper Morning, Now #1   8 years ago

        This innovative, simple way was discovered by accident when......oh, goddamnit, I can't even fathom a situation. A little help?

        1. Chinny Chin Chin   8 years ago

          Know how when you're camping in the desert, it's a good idea to shake out your boots before you put them on?

          Same idea.

      2. Mickey Rat   8 years ago

        Do the scientists get enthusiastic consent?

      3. Enjoy Every Sandwich   8 years ago

        If the turtle turns out to be female, is the scientist brought before a university rape tribunal?

      4. Necron 99   8 years ago

        Crusty finally gets his name on an academic paper.

    13. colorblindkid   8 years ago

      "Perceptions" of anti-Muslim discrimination. Last time I counted, there have been a few Muslims murdered for being Muslim in the last 5 years, and over 100 Americans killed by Muslims. Spare me the crocodile tears. Muslims are, on average, better educated and more wealthy than white Christians.

      1. colorblindkid   8 years ago

        They are not oppressed or systematically discriminated against in any meaningful way. Go visit any Muslim-majority country. ANY Muslim majority-country, and then complain about how mean evil Americans are.

      2. Eek Barba Durkle   8 years ago

        There have been thousands of Muslims murdered for being Muslim in the last few years, by the government our taxes pay for.

        Y'all need to get over this superstitious hate of Muslims. We are worse than they are. Don't like that? Change the fucking government.

        But your government, in your name, with your tax money, is murdering innocents by the boatload for the sin of being brown and Muslim. The shit's happening. Own it, or keep sticking your head in the sand, but save us your bigoted horseshit because you're too much of a coward to hold yourself to the same moral standards as you do some impoverished, illiterate goatfuckers on the other side of the world.

        1. Palin's Buttplug   8 years ago

          I hate Islam - not Muslims, and there is nothing superstitious on my part. The superstition is religion.

          1. Crusty Juggler :)   8 years ago

            I hate hate.

            1. Chipper Morning, Now #1   8 years ago

              I love love. Also, I fear fear and surprises startle me.

            2. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

              Haters gotta hate!

          2. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

            You also hate paying your bets.

          3. $park? leftist poser   8 years ago

            I hate Islam - not Muslims, and there is nothing superstitious on my part. The superstition is religion.

            You clearly don't understand how mind-numbingly tiresome you are.

        2. colorblindkid   8 years ago

          They were not killed "for being Muslim". I am non-interventionist as anybody, but that is just dumb,

          1. Eek Barba Durkle   8 years ago

            That's exactly what they were killed for. Real quick, how many non-Muslim countries are we indiscriminately murdering people in non-stop for several decades now?

            Oh yeah, that's right.

            We are killing them because they are Muslims, and we are doing that SPECIFICALLY because people like you hate Muslims. Americans rationalize why their much larger and more random violence is acceptable on the grounds that Muslims are inferior animals who don't deserve the same right to life we do. This thread is full of such examples.

            1. Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting   8 years ago

              We are killing them because they are Muslims, and we are doing that SPECIFICALLY because people like you hate Muslims

              Consider it payback for 1400 years of Muslim depredations in Europe.

              1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

                Killing people now for something some of their ancestors did hundreds of years ago? What could possibly go wrong with that?

                By this "logic," if your great-granddad got away with bootlegging during Prohibition, it'd be perfectly fine for the IRS to garnish your wages.

                1. Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting   8 years ago

                  By this "logic," if your great-granddad got away with bootlegging during Prohibition, it'd be perfectly fine for the IRS to garnish your wages.

                  LOL, as if this was even close to the destruction and slavery that Islam wrought for centuries.

              2. Unlabelable MJGreen   8 years ago

                You must have an extreme position on reparations for slavery.

                1. Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting   8 years ago

                  You must have an extreme position on reparations for slavery.

                  I have no problem with Europeans jacking up Muslims for invading their lands and selling their people into slavery for hundreds of years. What was the shit about "blowback"?

        3. Philadelphia Collins   8 years ago

          They kill Cristians every day for being Christian.

          1. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

            Muslims want to kill every American every day for being freer than they are.

            Its not a threat if the murderers cannot easily implement their plan to kill you.

            1. Eek Barba Durkle   8 years ago

              Muslims want to kill every American every day for being freer than they are.

              No, they don't. If you honestly think they do, you are a gullible ignoramus.

        4. Troy muy grande boner   8 years ago

          I'll give this troll a c-. Try harder. Oh. And fuck Muslims.

          1. Eek Barba Durkle   8 years ago

            If you're talking about me, I've been here for many, many years, and I'm making an actual fact-based, libertarian argument - while the majority of the thread carries out their feelz-based, collectivist arguments.

            Maybe this comment section will eventually abandon this recent embrace of the GOP, and all of their most regressive, illiberal policy. People want to bitch about how reason has abandoned the movement, all while bitching about those dirty Muslims, and the unfairness of trannies having the same rights as them.

            1. Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting   8 years ago

              I've been here for many, many years, and I'm making an actual fact-based, libertarian argument

              While ignoring 1400 years of history in the process. Eat shit, turdlet.

    14. Enjoy Every Sandwich   8 years ago

      Is that knucklehead kid who was waving a USSR flag at the Trump rally yesterday a "progressive" hero yet?

    15. jufema   8 years ago

      my Aunty Violet just got a new blue MINI Cooper Clubvan Wagon only from working part-time off a pc at home... see here now ????

    16. Crusty Juggler :)   8 years ago

      The Russia Sanctions Are about Controlling Americans

      foreigners lose some measure of access to some part of another country's culture. That means isolating a country, on the margin, and reducing the flow of information and commerce in and out. The leadership now has a scapegoat to rile up the population. Cuba, North Korea, and Iran illustrate this ? and the pathetic results ? precisely.

    17. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

      Canadian alt-right personality Lauren Southern has moved on from shouting at college feminists to attempting to stop ships full of migrants from entering Europe. It hasn't worked out so well.

      Got me to click on a BuzzFeed link. Well done.

      1. Rhywun   8 years ago

        Same here. And it's blocked. Oh well.

    18. Crusty Juggler :)   8 years ago

      Canadian alt-right personality Lauren Southern has moved on from shouting at college feminists to attempting to stop ships full of migrants from entering Europe
      Southern and the Identitarians are pushing a conspiracy theory that nongovernmental organizations like MSF aren't actually saving refugees at sea, but actually part of an illegal human trafficking operation.
      According to Southern in June, once the group had secured a ship, they would return to sea and stop NGOs from bringing refugees to Europe.

      "We're buying bigger boats, more boats, nets to potentially stop the motors if there are smaller boats going out to Libya and over the next few months we're just going to be sending out more and more crews that I think will legitimately be able to stop these boats from going out, these NGOs," she said.

      She is going to stop human trafficking by becoming a pirate?

      1. Crusty Juggler :)   8 years ago

        Also, BuzzFeed is almost indecipherable.

      2. Crusty Juggler :)   8 years ago

        Goodness, I Fisted the formatting.

        1. Aloysious   8 years ago

          Poor Fist. I'm not sure he deserves that kind of treatment.

          1. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

            My formatting is always impeccable. So much so I even bounce my pecs while I'm formatting.

            1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

              In today's least surprising news, Eugene reveals that he plays with his nipples while commenting.

    19. Tom Bombadil   8 years ago

      Next time you want to know what non-Muslims are thinking, try interviewing some non-Muslims.

    20. Fist of Etiquette   8 years ago

      The three king cobra snakes ? each about two feet (just over half a meter) long ? were found in March when Customs and Border Protection officers inspected a package that was mailed from Hong Kong, prosecutors said. There were also three albino Chinese soft-shelled turtles in the package, authorities said.

      Federal agents removed the cobras but delivered the turtles to Franco's home in Monterey Park.

      Looks like this canister...

      [dons sunglasses]

      ...is turtles all the way down.

      1. Cynical Asshole   8 years ago

        The three king cobra snakes ? each about two feet (just over half a meter) long ? were found in March when Customs and Border Protection officers inspected a package

        If none of them said "I am sick and tired of all these motherfuckin' snakes in this motherfuckin' package" then they should all be ashamed of themselves. Actually they should be ashamed of themselves anyway for working for the government.

    21. Crusty Juggler :)   8 years ago

      Trump says

      Something mind-boggingly strange and narcissistic?

      1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

        If you think of politics as an important and vital component of society, the Trump presidency is horrifying. Once you realize that politics is performance art, however, Trump's presidency becomes an exquisitely sublime experience.

        1. Palin's Buttplug   8 years ago

          "When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. If you're born in America you get a front row seat."

          George Carlin

          1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

            Leave George Carlin alone and pay your bet.

            1. Palin's Buttplug   8 years ago

              Fuck you, you liar.

              1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

                You're the biggest liar on Hit'n'Run. Wanna say some more bullshit about how Obama was a libertarian?

                Let's put it this way - if you're not lying, by which i mean you actually believe the retardedly wrong things you're constantly saying, then you're almost certainly a delusional schizophrenic in need of serious help.

                Which you won't find here. Fuck off.

                1. Palin's Buttplug   8 years ago

                  I never claimed Obama was a libertarian you liar.

                  I did claim he was more libertarian than Bush, McCain, or Romney.

                  Just getting the fuck out of Iraq does jumps that low bar.

                  1. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

                    Obama never left Iraq.

                    As you even admitted a few days ago, Obama left 1000 troops there.

                    You be lying.

                    1. Palin's Buttplug   8 years ago

                      150,000 combat troops down to 1000 military advisors.

                      Still much more libertarian you dumbass conservative.

                      The Iraq War was a strategic, financial, and military disaster and the GOP owns it just like Obama owns not starting a war in Syria.

                      Admit it.

                      1. Palin's Buttplug   8 years ago

                        And the amazing thing about Syria is that the dumbass GOP was all OBAMA DREW A RED LINE SO WE WANT WAR!!!

                      2. Enjoy Every Sandwich   8 years ago

                        That doesn't make him libertarian.

                        Any given politician may do something a libertarian approves of, but his motives are generally not libertarian at all. I very much doubt that Obama believes in a non-interventionist foreign policy.

                  2. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

                    You claimed just yesterday that TARP turned a profit, which was returned to the taxpayers. You're not even good at lying.

                    Seriously, fuck off.

                    1. Palin's Buttplug   8 years ago

                      It did, you idiot.

                      TARP profits were returned to the general Treasury fund where our taxes go.

                      It was an ugly and controversial GOP-led bill but Geithner earned $80 billion plus in profit.

                      1. Chipper Morning, Now #1   8 years ago

                        Even assuming TARP made a profit, how does that make bailing out failing corporations ok?

                      2. Palin's Buttplug   8 years ago

                        No, bailing out corporations with taxpayer money is wrong. Again, Bush didn't even understand TARP when he signed it. It was all Hank Paulson.

                        When passed it was to buy troubled assets. Paulson instead bought preferred stock (which was smart).

                      3. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

                        Bullshit. Fuck off.

                    2. Juice   8 years ago

                      which was returned to the taxpayers

                      What? You didn't get your TARP check?

                2. BestUsedCarSales   8 years ago

                  Let's not start comparing him to schizophrenic people. All the ones I've met are just people with a really hard problem and they deserve our compassion.

                  PB's just a jackass.

      2. Jerryskids   8 years ago

        Deranged and indecipherable.

        1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

          And altogether ooky.

      3. lap83   8 years ago

        Maybe a slightly refreshing change from just narcissistic?

    22. Crusty Juggler :)   8 years ago

      Randomly: The Sons of Lee Marvin

      The Sons of Lee Marvin is a tongue-in-cheek secret society devoted to iconic American actor Lee Marvin. The sole entry requirement for the club is that one must have a physical resemblance to plausibly look like a son of Marvin.

      1. BestUsedCarSales   8 years ago

        Call me when the sons of Lee Van Cleef happen.

        1. Number 7   8 years ago

          call me when the sons of Peter Lorre happens

    23. Rhywun   8 years ago

      I wonder how many proxy wars with Russia we can spin up at once.

    24. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

      Important reminder: Simple Mikey yelled at clouds yesterday.

      1. Chipper Morning, Now #1   8 years ago

        Adorable.

      2. Unlabelable MJGreen   8 years ago

        I really enjoyed that.

    25. Rufus The Monocled   8 years ago

      Re Southern. Buzzfeed comments are one notch below the NYT. Impressive.

      "Lily Davis
      John Cross Yes, we must do everything that we can to protect the sancitity of distinct European cultures. After all, maintaining distinct cultures is so important to Europeans. That's why Europeans were so careful not to alter or exterminate native cultures, languages, and traditions in the Americas, Africa, Australia, the Caribbean, the Pacific Islands, and Asia.

      Oh wait, what? Europeans have been invading and colonizing countries (European concept btw) for hundreds and hundreds of years, and completing annihilated entires cultures and languages?

      The seeds of this situation were sown a long time ago, dude."

      Do people actually read anything other than Howard Zinn anymore? Lord, this level of myopic ignorance is troubling.

      Try and explain, for example, how small pox was already wiping out Native Americans prior to the arrival of those "exterminators" from Europe.

      1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

        -90% of the pre-Columbian population of the Western Hemisphere

        Vast numbers of Indians died without ever even hearing about Europeans. Diseases traveled much faster than conquistadors could. And it's hard to blame Europeans for it (although some have tried) because germ theory wasn't a thing yet - both the settlers and the Indians attributed disease to evil spirits, and aside from a few assholes near the end Whitey wasn't spreading smallpox intentionally.

        The Black Plague came to Europe via raiders and traders from central Asia, but nobody tries to blame modern Mongolians for it. Because that would be retarded.

        1. colorblindkid   8 years ago

          That last point is an excellent one.

        2. Chipper Morning, Now #1   8 years ago

          Mongorians!

        3. BestUsedCarSales   8 years ago

          I blame Mongolians for a lot of things. I swear, I'm starting to think none of you ready blog...

      2. This Machine Chips Fascists   8 years ago

        "colonizing countries (European concept btw)"

        The Phoenicians, Egyptians, Assyrians, et al., would like a word...

        1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

          So, for that matter, would the Incas.

          1. This Machine Chips Fascists   8 years ago

            All "native" Americans are descended from colonists.

            1. Chipper Morning, Now #1   8 years ago

              That's why we should welcome immigrants.

              1. Troy muy grande boner   8 years ago

                And the disease and pathologies that come with them. Oh wait. We have magic dirt.

                1. Chipper Morning, Now #1   8 years ago

                  You fucking moron, immigrants get blood tested before they ever set foot on U.S. soil.

                  1. creech   8 years ago

                    Who tested that truckload in the Walmart parking lot the other day?

                2. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

                  Did you know that medicine has advanced greatly in the last 500 years? It's true! There are even things called "antibiotics" now!

                  1. Zeb   8 years ago

                    No, idiot. We are all dead from Ebola because we didn't seal our borders when the last big outbreak happened.

                    1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

                      Actually, if Troy doesn't know about antibiotics, that would explain why he's showing symptoms of tertiary syphilis.

            2. Zeb   8 years ago

              If that's true, then it's true of everyone outside of whatever part of Africa humans originated in.

              But I'm not sure that nomadic wandering should really count as colonization, which is a much more intentional process.

        2. This Machine Chips Fascists   8 years ago

          Aren't we all colonists out of Africa?

          1. loveconstitution1789   8 years ago

            Yup. Africans have colonized the World.

            You don't see that headline much.

          2. Rebel Scum   8 years ago

            Aren't we all colonists out of Africa?

            Yes. If you go back far enough, we are all from African descent. Now give me my reparations.

      3. Rebel Scum   8 years ago

        Europeans have been invading and colonizing countries (European concept btw)

        Someone better inform the Arabs. (and every other civilization in history...)

        1. Zeb   8 years ago

          I'm not clear on whether the European concept is supposed to be countries or colonization.

          1. colorblindkid   8 years ago

            I love the people who think Europe invented borders, as if wars weren't fought between Native Americans and Asians and even the Hawaiians for territory.

            I really do think some people think white people invented slavery. They think Europeans invaded Africa and stole people from villages. Europeans merely took advantage of a slave trade that had existed for centuries, and they themselves rarely did any actual slave capturing. That was done almost entirely by other Africans.

    26. Rebel Scum   8 years ago

      Trump says he could be the "most presidential" president since Abraham Lincoln, he just chooses not to.

      I do hope he refrains from invading his own country, shutting down opposition news outlets / jailing reporters, and trying to colonize American brown people in Liberia.

      1. This Machine Chips Fascists   8 years ago

        Cuck!

      2. Palin's Buttplug   8 years ago

        As our first White Trash* POTUS Trump might try all that - he would shut down CNN, the Wa Post, and NY Times today if he could.

        *(first since Millard Fillmore anyway)

        1. Chipper Morning, Now #1   8 years ago

          Until Trump mows the White House lawn himself, wearing a wife beater and holding a can of Bud Light, you don't get to call him white trash.

          1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

            I mean, he does spend a lot of time in Florida, and there are a bunch of couches out in the Rose Garden now...

            1. Rhywun   8 years ago

              But is there a car or two propped up on cement blocks?

              Oh, and WTF about Lincoln?

            2. Cynical Asshole   8 years ago

              Plus I hear he recently bought Ol' "Diamond" Joe Biden's bitching '81 Trans Am for $100, a coupla cases of Bud Lite, 12 cans of Skoal, and 5 lbs of primo bud.

              1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

                Biden's pissed because it turned out to be nothing but stems and seeds.

                He still sold or smoked all of it, though.

        2. lap83   8 years ago

          "First white trash president"

          Because screwing interns and stealing furniture is the height of class

          1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

            For most of the '90s the White House was occupied by Hill and Billy. Come on!

        3. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

          While shreek is a lying piece of shit, credit where credit is due for a delightful bashing of Millard Fillmore out of nowhere.

        4. JeremyR   8 years ago

          Ignoring the president nicknamed "Bubba"

    27. Rebel Scum   8 years ago

      Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte is threatening to bombs schools that teach anti-government sentiment.

      Kim the younger might not be the only little problem we need to nip in the bud.

      1. This Machine Chips Fascists   8 years ago

        Wasn't Roddy-boy snuggling up to the Chicoms earlier this year? I hope they catch this fucker with some lady-boy's dick in his mouth real soon. He's a goddamn terrorist.

    28. Rebel Scum   8 years ago

      Which health-care plan is the Senate voting on today?

      Hopefully the one that is Big-League.

    29. OM Nullum gratuitum prandium   8 years ago

      A national survey of American Muslims found perceptions of anti-Muslim discrimination are on the rise, but so is the sense that Americans are supportive of Muslims.

      I don't support anyone, if that gives you comfort.

      Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte is threatening to bombs schools that teach anti-government sentiment.

      Making the Philippines great again!

      Newly appointed Ambassador Kurt Volker said the U.S. may help arm Ukrainian government forces fighting against Russian-backed rebels.

      God wills it! "

      Everyone: "GOD WILLS IT!!!"

    30. Cynical Asshole   8 years ago

      Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte is threatening to bombs schools that teach anti-government sentiment.

      Careful ENB, Tony's penis can only get so erect.

      Trump says he could be the "most presidential" president since Abraham Lincoln, he just chooses not to.

      Given that Lincoln abused his power and in many ways was a petty tyrant* maybe we should be thankful that he doesn't try to emulate him.

      *I know, I know: "but slavery..."

    31. Troy muy grande boner   8 years ago

      You know there is a good question, who kills more Muslims? Is it the us government or fellow muslims?

      1. Palin's Buttplug   8 years ago

        We killed 1,000,000 in the Iraq War (Lancet) or maybe only 115,000 (US military).

        It would be close.

    32. Cynical Asshole   8 years ago

      Trump also said earlier this month that no other president, with the exception of Franklin Roosevelt, "has passed more legislation and who has done more things than what [his administration has done so far].

      Apparently presidents pass legislation now, not Congress. The sad thing is most people probably see that quote and don't even blink.

      1. Palin's Buttplug   8 years ago

        Of course the Con Man hasn't signed shit into legislation if he even knew the difference.

        Maybe a couple of federal building names or something trivial.

        Ask Rufus - he is a fan.

      2. Glide   8 years ago

        I guess it is a technically true phrase. They've all passed exactly zero bills as president.

        And if you count each Tweet as a "thing" he's probably in the lead for things.

        1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

          Tweets should count as 1/20 of a thing at best.

          1. BestUsedCarSales   8 years ago

            He's still probably in the lead then.

        2. Dillinger   8 years ago

          >>>if you count each Tweet as a "thing"

          don't give them ideas.

    33. Dillinger   8 years ago

      >>>Trump says he could be the "most presidential" president since Abraham Lincoln, he just chooses not to.

      Don't feed the trolls.

    34. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

      Here's a delightful nutpunch for y'all: Woman "slapped" police car before Minneapolis officer fatally shot Justine Damond, warrant says

      Slapping a police car is a capital offense, sentence to be carried out immediately. This is useful information to have.

      Money quote:

      "Upon police arrival, a female 'slaps' the back of the patrol squad," according to the search warrant filed by the BCA, reported MPR News. "After that, it is unknown to BCA agents what exactly happened, but the female became deceased in the alley."

      She became deceased! No idea why!

      1. Dillinger   8 years ago

        ran chest-first into Officer Trigger's bullet.

      2. Zeb   8 years ago

        "Became deceased". Even putting aside the fact that we know exactly how she became deceased and who is responsible, who the fuck talks that way? They must have a class on awkward passive phrasing in the police academy.

        1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

          Look, when joining your organization appeals mostly to those whose ideal social interaction is punching nerds in the face, AND you have an upper IQ limit for new hires, you're not gonna get many people who can write a press release that makes a lick of goddamn sense.

        2. creech   8 years ago

          Yes, like they keep referring to some scumbag mugger or bank robber as "the gentleman did...."

      3. Rebel Scum   8 years ago

        the female became deceased

        Jesus titty-fucking christ...

    35. Domestic Dissident   8 years ago

      Debbie Wasserman-Schultz staffer Imran Awan arrested while trying to flee the country for bilking congress out of a lot of money doing IT support or something.

      Imran Awan was born in Pakistan by the way, and was trying to flee back to Pakistan via Doha, Qatar. Gee, I wonder what this shady character was doing with all that money he was (allegedly) bilking from Schultz and the dopey democrats. Was it all strictly for his personal enrichment, or maybe something more than that? I can think of all sorts of unsavory possibilites.

      1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

        I can think of all sorts of unsavory possibilites.

        This is the truest thing you ever wrote. I can't wait to see which of the more ridiculous hypotheticals you end up flogging for the next three weeks.

        1. Domestic Dissident   8 years ago

          Of course we know that as a libtard dem you'll be desperate to try and sweep this one under the rug just like all the rest of your Obama momma buddies in the JournoList. But hopefully the authorities can track what happened to all that money.

          1. Citizen X - #6   8 years ago

            Thanks for offering that tasty-looking word salad, but i brought lunch from home today.

            1. BestUsedCarSales   8 years ago

              i brought lunch from home today.

              I didn't know you were a goddamn nerd.

    36. The Real Jose   8 years ago

      A shout out to the Jacketed One?

      "If there had been libertarians then, a Nicaeus Gillespus, as it were, would have taken the fig as a symbol of the wonders of free commerce, which had allowed the Carthaginians to pay off their reparations to Rome from the Second Punic War in no time at all."

    37. tinder download   8 years ago

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