Trump Investigation Allegedly Expanding, O.J. Granted Parole, Elon Musk Claims Hyperloop Approval: P.M. Links

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  • Hyperloop testing
    Hyperloop/Cover Images/Newscom

    Special Counsel Robert Mueller is now reportedly expanding his investigation of business transactions within President Donald Trump's companies as part of the whole Russian election meddling issue.

  • O.J. Simpson has been granted parole.
  • Sen. John McCain (R-Arizona), combating a brain tumor, says he will be back to work soon enough.
  • Attorney General Jeff Sessions says he's not considering resigning in the wake of Trump's criticism of Sessions recusing himself from the Russian investigation. He says he will serve "as long as that is appropriate."
  • Senators Kamala Harris (D-California) and Rand Paul (R-Kentucky) are teaming up on federal legislation to encourage states (with financial incentives) to reform bail systems so that people don't end up stuck in jail solely because they can't afford to pay.
  • Elon Musk says he has "verbal government approval" (which probably means next to nothing) to build a hyperloop connecting Philadelphia, Baltimore, New York City, and Washington, D.C.
  • Inmates in one county in Tennessee are getting jail time credit (30 whole days) if they agree to getting a birth control implant or a vasectomy.
  • TMZ reports that Chester Bennington, the lead singer of Linkin Park, has committed suicide.

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  1. O.J. Simpson has been granted parole.

    Now he can resume his hunt for the real robbers.

    1. Hello.

      “Senators Kamala Harris (D-California) and Rand Paul (R-Kentucky) are teaming up”

      I bet they are.

      Yuk, yuk, yuk!

  2. Attorney General Jeff Sessions says he’s not considering resigning in the wake of Trump’s criticism …

    Guys like him never know when to leave.

  3. Special Counsel Robert Mueller is now reportedly expanding his investigation of business transactions within President Donald Trump’s companies as part of the whole Russian election meddling issue.

    So he hasn’t found anything yet.

    1. Darn, you’ve seen through the facade. Fist!

    2. Watch the media and see how they will never admit that Mueller has found zero, so the entire “investigation” has shifted.

  4. Sen. John McCain (R-Arizona), combating a brain tumor, says he will be back to work soon enough.

    At which time my sympathy for his situation will quickly drain away.

    1. It’s not like any other member of congress has ever let a debilitating brain problem stop them from legislatin’.

    2. He still believes he can get a few more wars going before his time comes.

  5. “I won’t waste all day here, I’ll just fuck around in the AM links a bit.”

    *sees PM links*

    “Ffffffffffffffff-“

    1. Is time really wasted if you enjoyed wasting it?

      1. You guys keep me sane. Thank you all.

        1. Really? Crap, i’ll try harder.

        2. My IRL friends would say you guys made me crazier… But they are bernie bros so fuck ’em.

          1. Only difference for me is that my taste in pornography has shifted.

      2. the fuck is time?

    2. Say hi to Tony and Hihn for me.

      1. I haven’t been by the AM Links in a couple hours. Are those assholes shitting it up now?

  6. Senators Kamala Harris (D-California) and Rand Paul (R-Kentucky) are teaming up on federal legislation to encourage states (with financial incentives) to reform bail systems so that people don’t end up stuck in jail solely because they can’t afford to pay.

    Paul better watch himself. She was a prosecutor.

    1. She (Kamala Harris) went out of her way to make a CA state case against Project Veritas for secretly recording, for the world to hear, that government sponsored Planned Parenthood was selling dead baby parts.

  7. O.J. Simpson has been granted parole.

    Hide ya kids, hide ya wife, etc.

    1. Obligatory autotuned remix available on YouTube, and finer imageboards everywhere.

    2. The Juice is Lose!

  8. Sen. John McCain (R-Arizona), combating a brain tumor, says he will be back to work soon enough.

    He persisted.

    1. I see what you did there.

  9. Inmates in one county in Tennessee are getting jail time credit (30 whole days) if they agree to getting a birth control implant or a vasectomy.

    Uh, spay or neuter your pets?

    1. Let the lawsuits begin.

    2. Why don’t they jsut offer 60 days early for submitting to a lobotomy.

      Fucking state and federal governments need to be shrunk by 50%+ to get rid of some of these morons.

    3. Now people who wanted vasectomies anyway will start committing crimes to get it for free. Thanks Tennessee.

  10. O.J. Simpson will return to a bleaker racial landscape

    In the time Simpson was in prison, Obama’s election went from a promise of true equality to a lesson that America wasn’t ready for a black president. The ultimate product of the Obama presidency was an unprecedented level of disrespect and resistance from Republicans, and finally the election of Donald Trump.

    TW: If you read your eyes will bleed.

    1. The ultimate product of the Obama presidency was an unprecedented level of disrespect and resistance from Republicans, and finally the election of Donald Trump.

      Something tells me even OJ can put 2 and 2 together.

    2. We were so unready for a black President that we reelected one. God, the humanity!

      1. And then four years later, his voters voted for Trump, thus proving they were all racists the whole time.

        1. That’s why they call it the ‘long con’.

    3. Racial Landscape II: The Bleakening

  11. Hello. I’m here for the Trump Reach Around.

    1. “Hello. I’m here for the Trump Reach Around.”
      I’ll bet lefty imbeciles find that clever.

      1. They still consider “AmeriKKKa” clever. We’re grading on the curve here.

    2. Homophobe

  12. Elon Musk says he has “verbal government approval” (which probably means next to nothing) to build a hyperloop connecting Philadelphia, Baltimore, New York City, and Washington, D.C.

    Will it pass tribal lands?

    1. Elon Musk, human paladin, has verbal approval to stick his hands in your pockets through transportation bonds so he can fuck up traffic all over the east coast for the next 20 years with construction for a project no one will use.

      1. well, on the upside, this mythic hyperloop is going to be underground, tunneled by his “The Boring Company”. pipe dreams has never been more apt.

        1. On the plus side, if they build it on a cursed indian burial ground it can be powered by restless spirits spinning in their graves or something.

          Totally not a “found footage” kind of situation waiting to happen or anything…

      2. And steal your property via eminent domain.

      3. Can he really fuck up the east coast traffic? Amtrax, NJ turnpike, DC Beltway, PA Turnpike, Northern VA, NYC are all known for their shitty traffic. Worst he can do is waste a bunch of money (which will happen).

        They should just hand over Amtrax to him and let him give it a shot. No other money, no bonds, no nothing. Just give him Amtrax and say it yours now, government is out of the trains business.

    2. My pet peeve: People, especially those involved in law and business (and the press) who misuse “verbal”. Verbal means using words. Verbal agreements can be spoken (also known as “oral”) and/or written.

      If Elon has written approval, it is probably not “next to nothing”.
      If what he is claiming to have is oral approval, the reporter should clarify that.

  13. think Goldman’s dad has been saving for a hitman?

  14. …to build a hyperloop connecting Philadelphia, Baltimore, New York City, and Washington, D.C.

    A Bermuda Triangle of douchebaggery, if you will.

    1. So douchebaggery it has an extra angle.

    2. >>>Philadelphia, Baltimore, New York City, and Washington, D.C.

      stupid way to get from Philly –> DC

  15. Mueller is now reportedly expanding his investigation of business transactions within President Donald Trump’s companies as part of the whole Russian election meddling issue.

    I’ll believe Mueller is serious when he expands into investigating *Hillary’s* shenanigans.

  16. O.J. Simpson has been granted parole.

    If the crime is old, he must be paroled.

    1. If you must acquit, your local Las Vegas pawn shop will take a hit.

    2. If the hope is young, contain the societal dung.

    3. I know who I am going to be for Halloween this year!

  17. TMZ reports that Chester Bennington, the lead singer of Linkin Park, has committed suicide.

    I hear that’s the proper way for an entertainer to end his career.

      1. Indeed. I still put on Reanimation (their remix of the Meteora album) when on road trips. What a bummer.

      2. Too many people liked their worst song, I guess.

  18. >>>Elon Musk says he has “verbal government approval”

    can’t even broadcast MLB with that…

    1. A verbal agreement ain’t worth the paper it’s printed on.

  19. TMZ reports that Chester Bennington, the lead singer of Linkin Park, has committed suicide.

    Angry 14-year-olds in 2001 hardest hit.

  20. Trump Hasn’t Killed Comedy: He’s just killed our dumb contemporary idea of comedy.

    The truth is not always funny. You may have heard, in the past year, that irony and satire are dead, that in the age of Trump they have become indistinguishable from their opposites. Liberal comedians and critics are volubly alarmed, producing essays and think pieces and giving asides in interviews about Trump’s immunity to satire, about the inexplicably malevolent humor of “trolls,” about the triumphs and failures of late-night shows, about the inexaggerable absurdity of the news. Everyone recognizes that something essential to comedy is failing: the power to defeat lies. Very few have asked how comedy came by that power in the first place.

    Comedy is not dead, but it is changing. And comedy’s association with honesty is far more recent than we might think. You and I just happen to have grown up during an unusual period in the history of comedy, one in which it became strangely bound up with truth and virtue. Trump, thank God, has cut the knot.

    This was an excellent read.

    1. BUT CRUSTY ITS ON SLATE WHY DO YOU READ SLATE ARE YOU A LEFTIE

      We are still living in that era. Comedy has gone from sitting “in the back of the country” throwing spitballs, as Jon Stewart once put it from behind a news desk, to teaching the class. The most visible comedian in America right now is probably Stephen Colbert, who hit his stride, according to the New York Times, when his producer told him?during Colbert’s election night special, as the Trump era inconceivably dawned?to “stop being funny and go and just be real.” Jimmy Fallon, the loser in Colbert’s ratings bump, refuses to be “bullied into not being me, and not doing what I think is funny.” He may be insufferable, in other words, but at least he’s not faking it.

      The role that Colbert and Fallon are competing to occupy?Your No. 1 Hypothetical Friend?would not exist had comedy not become synonymous with personal authenticity, and personal authenticity with wisdom. Their authority (and the authority of Seth Meyers, John Oliver, Samantha Bee, and Trevor Noah) rests on the illusion that because an audience is laughing, the performers must be channeling some holy spirit, not their partisan loyalties or professional interests.

      OH I LIKE IT NOW

      1. OK, so normally I wouldn’t touch Slate with somebody else’s dick* but that’s actually pretty insightful.

        * Please don’t ask me why I have somebody else’s dick.

        1. I just assumed you ate the rest of the guy.

          1. If you leave the dick, it’s totes ‘not gay’ right?

            1. Depends on where you leave it.

      2. Their authority (and the authority of Seth Meyers, John Oliver, Samantha Bee, and Trevor Noah) rests on the illusion that because an audience is laughing, the performers must be channeling some holy spirit, not their partisan loyalties or professional interests.

        The performers are really going for applause, not laughs. The laughs are incidental to the hive-mind these people attempt to enable.

        Colbert having to mock his audience for cheering Comey’s firing, just to ensure they didn’t practice the current wrongthink, epitomized what “comedy” has become since the Stewart-ification of it. These people are political advocates, not comedians, and everyone knows it. It’s just more out in the open now.

        1. I don’t agree with the entire piece, but it’s pretty spot on in many respects.

        2. The two dozen or so Netflix Comedy specials leading up the election last year was like each comics attempt at a Christmas album; but instead of Christmas they were all just doing their rendition of a Trump roast.

          It was so blatant and cringe worthy; prime example of why he won. Only those people want to be told how to think; everyone else just gets annoyed regardless of the message.

        3. I still feel like it has too much of a dreadful air to it. I think anyone saying “Satire is dead” is probably too inside the machine. Part of the problem is that things are not actually absurd as everyone represents it.

  21. TMZ reports that Chester Bennington, the lead singer of Linkin Park, has committed suicide.

    Is this too far away from Cornell’s to expect a third?

    1. Do NOT compare Linkin Park to Soundgarden you FUCK.

      1. I’m glad someone said it.

        Fist : musical taste :: Zeb : beer

        1. [Furiously tries to think of the most bitter music ever made]

          1. [Furiously tries to think of the most bitter music ever made]

            Fact: Fist is a fan of both Alanis and Avril Lavigne.

            1. Avril Lavigne made me wish I was a skater boy in J-high.

      2. Linkin Park :: Soundgarden
        Soundgarden :: Alice in Chains

        1. ^^this.

    2. ROBOSTROP: Scientist who builds ‘intelligent’ sex robots reveals his ?1,500 doll ‘isn’t always interested in sex’? and here’s why

      But in a unique twist his “intelligent” prototype, Samantha, is not always in the mood.

      Sergi told the Thomson Reuters Foundation: “Maybe you’re interested in sex and at the moment she’s not.

      “So you say ‘Ok, she’s a doll. Why would I want a doll who is not interested in sex?’

      “But that’s the point. It’s a bit of a game. So it’s not ‘I want it, I have it’ because? if we have something we get every time we want it, we actually don’t like it so much.”

      Sergi, who has silicone figures and body parts littered all around his living room, founded Synthea Amatus in 2015 and aims to start selling his sex robots in the coming weeks, starting from about ?1,500 each.

      He says that having them in the house has spiced up life with Maritsa.

      I wonder how much he charges for a used doll.

      1. Man on man what bad placement.

        1. if the scientist is also a suicidal rock star a chance remains it was well placed

        2. What a delightful typo, however.

        3. You gotta turn one of the men the other way.

      2. Guys, i found this cool new thing on the internet called napster where you can get, like, all the music you want.

        Like, when I heard about it, I was in the middle of a nick hack, and my sack landed in Susie’s latte, and she totally snarfed whipped cream and sprinkles out her nose! It was, like, karmic. Or cosmic? Which is when it’s meant to be?

      3. So it’s like that twilight zone where the gambler dies and thinks he’s gone to heaven, but then he keeps winning all the time and realizes he’s in hell because there’s no fun in always winning?

  22. what’s with all the modern rock stars killing themselves? In my day they had the good manners to die of drug overdoses.

    1. There’s some overlap between “I’m going to kill myself on purpose” and “I don’t give a fuck how much of this shit I keep using, even though it’s almost killing me already” in some of those cases.

      Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

    2. Well, IIRC suicide rates have been going up overall for years, so that probably accounts for at least part of it.

    3. I’m still not certain whether whether Cornell was masturbating and died in the process, or whether he was dying and started masturbating. This difference matters.

  23. TMZ reports that Chester Bennington, the lead singer of Linkin Park, has committed suicide.

    Everything you said took him one step closer.

    Fear is how you fall.

    RIP.

    1. Fucking selfish prick left behind a wife and 6 kids.

      1. Ah, makes more sense now.

  24. Musk says he has “verbal government approval”

    Is “verbal government” a synonym for the Deep State?

  25. Paranoia Fuel: when you go to bed tonight, just remember that there could be 35,000 bees in your ceiling

    1. Good, honey is getting expensive.

      1. They’re in my eyes!

        Bees. My God.

        (Am I driving up the price by using honey for non-culinary purposes? Asking for a friend.)

      1. Of course it was Chipotle. Of course it was.

        1. I went to Chiptole once, and I honestly don’t get what the big deal is. It seemed like a pretty generic mediocre burrito place.

          1. You must have blacked out before the immediately subsequent explosive diarrhea phase. Is your next memory being wrapped in a towel by a paramedic who was telling you “it’s going to be alright”?

          2. I think their main advantage was they could be found in every mall, back when people went to malls.

          3. The big deal for me is I could get a large amount of beans on campus for lunch.

        2. But at least they’re non-GMO bees!

          1. Or non-GMO rats, Those are good too.

            *adjusts spectacles*

    2. Did they get fined for producing honey without a “beekeeping license” or something? This is New York we are talking about.

      1. I like my occupational licensing how I like my women: Covered in bees!

        OK I’ll stop now.

  26. Hodges: Minneapolis police body camera policy must change

    Minneapolis Mayor Betsy Hodges said Thursday that the fatal police shooting of Justine Damond should not have happened ? and that the lack of body camera footage from the incident is “unacceptable.”

    “We have put too much time, money and effort into [body cameras] to have them fail us when we needed them most,” Hodges said in a blog post Thursday afternoon. “That cannot happen again

    In her blog post, Hodges said she expects the police department “to make any and all changes needed to our policy so that we can be sure we will have body cam footage when we need it,” and to take the events surround the shooting Saturday into consideration when making those changes.

    Yes, the body cameras should have been on – and thank you for saying that, Bets – but what about the cops patrolling with their lights off and guns in their laps, and shooting ladies through windows? Would the cameras have stopped that?

    1. the lack of body camera footage from the incident is “unacceptable.”

      So cops who do not have body camera footage will be terminated, right? RIGHT?!

    2. look at the shooting policy first there, Betsy…


  27. ?Inmates in one county in Tennessee are getting jail time credit (30 whole days) if they agree to getting a birth control implant or a vasectomy.

    So a woman can get an implant, get out of jail, pop it out again on her own and she’s ready to go. The guy gets a reversible surgery that they probably won’t be able to afford to get undone.

    Sounds…legit…?

    1. So we’re back to believing that criminality is a heritable trait? Do they examine the shape of the inmates’ skulls while they’re at it?

      1. No shit, I honestly have no idea what the fuck the point of such a thing would be in this day and age.

        Presumably, and I’m just spitballin’ here, but maybe it’s so the women inmates get out sooner and don’t get pregnant from a guard?

        As for why the men are disproportionally fucked over by this, well, who cares about a black man amirightoramiright?

        Ugh.

        1. The prison officials had to make the reduction available to both men and women, otherwise they would be facing a civil rights lawsuit. The real question is when do us men get the injectable contraceptives?

          1. It’s still a disparate impact, and an illogical move in the first place. Definitely the dumbest thing I’ve read today.

  28. Attorney General Jeff Sessions says he’s not considering resigning…He says he will serve “as long as that is appropriate.”

    “You’re fired.”

  29. Is part of the problem that Trump has been confusing health insurance with life insurance this whole time?

    What was Trump talking about with $12-a-year health insurance?

    1. Look, mostly Trump just says stuff.

    2. Did you hear he nominated Gorsuch to the Supreme Court?

      1. I heard that motherfucker had, like, thirty goddamn dicks.

        1. Hey, that’s like 28 more dicks than you. For now.

        2. I heard he once held an opponent’s wife’s hand in a jar of acid… at a party.

    3. This reminds me of Jack Donaghy (30 rock) when he was so rich and removed from reality that he threw out in a thought experiment that if a 10lb bag costs $400 then a 5lb back should cost $200.

  30. Elon Musk says he has “verbal government approval” (which probably means next to nothing) to build a hyperloop connecting Philadelphia, Baltimore, New York City, and Washington, D.C.

    Spontaneously combusting electric trains coming soon to a city near you!

    1. Soon? It takes ten years to get a new slip ramp approved for the Pa Turnpike. We’ll have nuclear fission rockets to Jupiter (or whatever you sci fi fans call them) before there’s enough “grease” spread around to get approval for a hyperloop.

      1. But then the Martian Mafia will come looking for a cut…

  31. Enjoy, people I’m better than: Rumored DNC motto ripped straight from Papa John’s Pizza

    the Democrats’ rumored message for the 2018 midterms is the following: “A Better Deal: Better Skills, Better Jobs, Better Wages.”

    Sweet fancy Moses. That’s basically the Papa John’s Pizza slogan (“Better ingredients. Better pizza. Papa John’s”), but in reverse.

    Amazingly enough, the Democrats’ message is reportedly “the result of months of polling and internal deliberations among the House Democratic caucus,” according to vox.com’s Jeff Stein.

    The RNC is hard at work coming up with something even worse. My guess: “if you white, you aight.”

    1. “Flags, walls, and bibles”?

    2. So now the Democrats suddenly remember they’re supposed to be the party of labor? Huh…I guess nobody told Hillary that this last cycle.

    3. If the gloves don’t fit, you must acquit!

  32. Senators Kamala Harris (D-California) and Rand Paul (R-Kentucky) are teaming up on federal legislation to encourage states (with financial incentives) to reform bail systems so that people don’t end up stuck in jail solely because they can’t afford to pay.

    Kamala Harris is the 2020 appointed one. I have told Reason readers this before.

    Harris is social justice jihadist and Rand Paul is cucking. If you give her an inch she’ll take a mile. Rand Paul can advocate for bail reform without Harris, if that’s the fight he want he wants to pick.

    1. I think the writing is plainly written on the wall. Kamala Harris is going to be the first woman president. God help us all.

    2. Criminal justice reform is one of the most important issues facing us, but if it helps Democrats? No thank you!

    3. It will be Lizzie Warren and Kamala Harris.

    4. What exactly is Rand Paul risking by teaming up with her on a specific bill? Is she going to be able to launch a coup if a bill she sponsors gets passed? Even if we assume Rand Paul has a duty to stop Kamala Harris in an election from winning an election 3 years from now, is this bill really going to be make or break for her?

      1. Bi-partisanship is so 20th century. We prefer our politicians to blindly fight eachother even on things everyone wants.

  33. Anyone following Linda Sarsour’s recent meltdown on Twitter? It’s absolutely hysterical. Jake Tapper wrecked her

    1. I have an aversion to Twitter. Might as well be radioactive.

      1. Linda Sarsour and one of the Women’s March Twitter accounts posted about Assata Shakur’s birthday and didn’t mention her lengthy criminal record

        Jake Tapper was bothered by this and called it out

        Linda Sarsour called him alt-right

        Jake Tapper reminded everyone of that time Linda Sarsour called for Hirsi Ali, victim of genital mutilation, to have her vagina removed. He had a few other great responses to users trying to call him a hypocrite

        1. One thing that annoys me about the left is the inconsistency and double standard about the term “dog whistle.” They’ll call virtually anything said by a Republican a “dog whistle,” oftentimes when it’s something innocuous, but when Sarsour calls for “jihad” against the President, or praises terrorists and cop killers, or says that a victim of FGM should have her vagina removed, none of that qualifies as a dog whistle.

          1. One thing that annoys me about the left is the inconsistency and double standard

            You probably could have stopped there. Inconsistency and double standards pretty much defines the Regressive left these days.

            1. They’ve long since abandoned double standards in favor of triple, quadruple, and quintuple standards.

          2. It’s less of a dog whistle and more of a tornado siren.

            1. Pretty sure most proggy whining about “dog whistles” is projection anyway.

              “If you hear the whistle, you’re the dog.”

  34. I’m not sure who Thomas Wictor? is, but he went off about bail reform on twitter a few weeks ago.

    http://tinyurl.com/ybgquoum

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