Senators to See Comey Memos, House to Vote on Immigration Bills, Germany to Legalize Gay Marriage: P.M. Links

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  • Trump and Comey
    Andrew Harrer/SIPA/Newscom

    The Senate Intelligence Committee will get to see the memos written by fired FBI Director James Comey about his meetings with President Donald Trump.

  • Germany is poised to finally legalize gay marriage recognition. German Chancellor Angela Merkel had opposed it for years (something to remind your friends who insist that European leaders are so much more enlightened than ours).
  • The House today is expected to vote on two bills that would increase penalties for illegal immigrants who commit crimes or repeatedly return to the United States after being deported and would potentially deny federal grants to sanctuary cities who don't assist the feds with deportation orders.
  • A guy wanted to become a YouTube star by blocking a bullet shot by his girlfriend with an encyclopedia over his chest. Instead, he is dead.
  • U.S.-led coalition forces believe the liberation of Mosul, Iraq, from Islamic State militants is "imminent."
  • Prosecutors have dropped perjury charges against the former state trooper who arrested Sandra Bland. Bland was famously arrested at a traffic stop and then later hanged herself in jail. The officer was accused of making a false statement in his police report. In exchange for the prosecution dropping the case, the former officer has agreed to never again seek work in law enforcement.

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  1. The Senate Intelligence Committee will get to see the memos written by fired FBI Director James Comey about his meetings with President Donald Trump.

    Can I write my own evidence too???

    1. You usually do.

    2. Hello.

      1. Is it me you’re looking for?

        1. Didn’t he get beaten up by his wife or something?

    3. You can do it.

      In spirograph.

      1. Did you know there’s a direct correlation between the decline in Spirograph and the rise in gang activity?

  2. Germany is poised to finally legalize gay marriage recognition.

    You know who else wanted to get married?

    1. Not your parents.

      1. A burn so savage it could be known as the Republican Weiner.

      2. *calls 911*

        “YOU GOTTA SEND HELP! I THINK FIST IS ON FIRE!!”

    2. SIV and Icky Christ Fag?

    3. I think I know the answer. I once knew a woman, now deceased, who was born in Munich in 1933. Her mother was a schoolgirl friend of Eva Braun until the end. Supposedly, Eva told her that Dolph was a real zero in the sack.

    4. my psychotic ex-wife?

    5. Marla Maples?

      1. funny.

  3. A guy wanted to become a YouTube star by blocking a bullet shot by his girlfriend with an encyclopedia over his chest. Instead, he is dead.

    First he would have had to make a video explaining to viewers what an encyclopedia is.

    1. Darwin awards are pretty easy to get. Still, it boggles the mind that neither he nor the girlfriend thought to try it out with something other than a person on the other side of the book.

      1. If I recall, he did supposedly shoot another book as a test prior to this. How much they matched the parameters of the first try is probably key to solving the mystery.

        1. How much they matched the parameters of the first try is probably key to solving the mystery.

          You mean there may’ve been performance differences between Sm-Sz and X-Z?

        2. In another article I remember them waving around a book with an entry hole but no exit hole, but absent(conspicuously so, for such a camera-friendly couple) was any video of them actually shooting a comparable encyclopedia, at the same close range, and showing it stopped the bullet.

          So at this point I could believe either of (A) he did more testing to verify it was safe, and then a fluke happened or (B) he failed “controlled testing 101” and never verified the trick in a comparable scenario before adding himself to it.

          Both fluke and flake are believable.

      2. It says encyclopedia, so it was clearly an iPad.

      3. He’s ineligible for a Darwin award, as a father.

    2. It’s pretty obvious that he didn’t know what an encyclopedia is. “This is totes heavy! I bet it’ll stop a bullet.”

    3. aspiring YouTube star

      Reach for the stars.

    4. For people who are wondering, telegraph UK says the gun was a .50 AE Desert Eagle.

      1. Yikes.

      2. He probably shouldn’t have used the armor piercing ammo.

  4. The House today is expected to vote on two bills that would increase penalties for illegal immigrants who commit crimes or repeatedly return to the United States after being deported…

    SENTENCE THEM TO BUILDING THAT WALL!!!

  5. …and would potentially deny federal grants to sanctuary cities who don’t assist the feds with deportation orders.

    Something left to cut?

  6. U.S.-led coalition forces believe the liberation of Mosul, Iraq, from Islamic State militants is “imminent.”

    Way to blow the surprise.

    1. You know who else blew the surprise?

      1. Your mom, assuming “the surprise” is a dick euphemism?

        1. If your mom doesn’t give head, then I feel really sorry for your dad.

          1. Eh, some guys don’t get much from blow jobs.

            1. that’s almost as sad as dogs getting shot

              1. I don’t enjoy sex in any form ever since the incident.

      2. Harry Truman?

        1. funnier

  7. Some subways are literally held together with zip ties

    An MTA spokeswoman said Wednesday that the zip tie was being used as a temporary fastener to attach a cable to the new R186 cars while a special part is being made. She added that the cable is attached another way, and the zip tie is just a back-up.

    “The ties are a back-up way of securing a cable on the subway car. It’s used in conjunction with other fasteners,” said MTA spokeswoman Beth DeFalco. “It’s 100 percent safe and only used on some cars on the #7 line. We have a specially designed bracket that is being engineered and is set to be installed in the next few weeks.”

    Remember New Yorkers, forget about this come election time.

    1. I am literally beside myself.

      1. The zip ties broke, huh?

    2. I see no problem with this.

      1. The article could use a little more info. Such as, if that cable comes loose does the car literally fall apart?

        1. >>> does the car literally fall apart

          only figuratively…needs therapy

    3. My car’s been held together with zip ties and duct tape for over 4 years now. If it works, it works. I’m an engineer. I’m sure a real fix would not be much better and it would cost $50,000 and 10 union workers to do.

      1. That’s what caught my eye, too:

        “The zip ties work 100% fine, but we’re custom engineering and fabricating an elaborate bracket made of rare and precious materials that will be available in about a year. Because we’re the government.”

      2. I used a metal coat hanger to keep a muffler in place for about five years. It even survived the heavy salting they did of local roads.

        The only corrosion protection was whatever was on the coat hanger when I bent it into shape.
        It survived just as long as the OEM hanger which was far more substantial.

        At one point I tried to get the right part but Autozone’s database didn’t have the right part number so I said screw it and left the coat hanger in place. It was working, why mess with it.

        1. Yeah, sure, not in the database, right. If you were at an Autozone, you were talking to an idiot.

      3. My car’s been held together with zip ties and duct tape for over 4 years now. If it works, it works.

        Except the subway keeps breaking down, so at the very least it looks terrible, especially when the MTA has a 4.5 billion dollar budget.

        1. They must be spending it all on fancy brackets that aren’t actually necessary for it to work. And salaries, obviously.

    4. zip ties and duct tape are pretty much all you need.

  8. A guy wanted to become a YouTube star by blocking a bullet shot by his girlfriend with an encyclopedia over his chest. Instead, he is dead.

    Today’s word is “autodarwination.”

  9. Women’s Museum Bill Will Proceed

    “In the most hostile Congress in history, we have found something we can all agree on and that is a National American Women’s History Museum,” New York Rep. Carolyn B. Maloney said. She introduced the bipartisan bill with California Rep. Ed Royce.

    Cutting spending, one nickel at a time.

    1. In the most hostile Congress in history

      Assuming history began thirty or forty years ago, this almost starts to be a sensible thing to say.

      1. We need to go back to the good old days of congresscritters cudgeling one another with their walking sticks and shillelaghs. “I demand satisfaction, sir!” (sounds better if you read it in a Foghorn Leghorn voice).

      2. Assuming history began thirty or forty years ago, this almost starts to be a sensible thing to say.

        Thoroughly convinces you that the Museum is going to be a revealing glimpse into American Women’s History doesn’t it?

        1. The entire museum will be a monument to Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren.

          Ugh.

          1. The entire museum will be a monument to Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren.

            I can’t imagine Oprah won’t make an appearance and, despite not really being good or generally historically notable, I bet Ellen DeGeneres gets a spot.

    2. Also known as the Apron and Ladle Museum.

    3. I wonder what “hostile” is supposed to mean here. “Reluctant to throw money out the window”? “Totes anti-female”?

    4. After 6 months of nagging, they finally did it.

  10. In exchange for the prosecution dropping the case, the former officer has agreed to never again seek work in law enforcement.

    He looks forward to his eventual reinstatement and inevitable back pay.

    1. We all know that this “agreement” is unenforceable after the statute of limitations runs out on the perjury charges.

      1. I was wondering that myself. With civil claims, agreements to waive the statute of limitations (called a tolling agreement) are usually enforceable. I don’t know if that applies to criminal charges though.

        1. Regardless, it doesn’t apply to the police.

          But that’s not really news, is it?

  11. A guy wanted to become a YouTube star by blocking a bullet shot by his girlfriend with an encyclopedia over his chest. Instead, he is dead.

    Thank you for your service, young man. We need more idiots to show this kind of commitment.

    1. What an environmentalist.

    2. Eh. The video won’t show up on YouTube. Might show up on LiveLeaks, but that doesn’t get as much exposure.

  12. Cover your nuts, gents: Handcuffed Man Drowns, Cop Pleads Guilty to ‘Boating Violation’

    Piercy faces a maximum six months in prison and a $500 fine for Ellingson’s death. Ellingson’s family says it’s the closest they’ll get to justice.

    How this isn’t involuntary manslaughter at the very least is beyond me.

    1. Jesus fuck. That’s a lighter penalty than someone in my city could get for not cutting their grass.

      1. Interesting that you have that bookmarked.

        1. It is relevant to my interests.

          1. Prairie restoration?

    2. God, at least getting shot to death is kind of fast. I’m getting anxiety thinking about slowly drowning with my hands cuffed behind my back.

      Fuck. Didn’t even bother to try and jump in and save him. Monstrous.

    3. Brandon Ellingson and his friends were celebrating the start of summer break with a boating trip in Missouri’s Lake of the Ozarks in May 2014. But as he and his friends were leaving the dock one afternoon, trooper Anthony Piercy stopped them and accused Ellingson, 20, of boating while intoxicated. Piercy handcuffed Ellingson, placed him in the back of his Water Patrol boat, and sped off. The boat was traveling 46 miles per hour when it hit a wave, flinging the handcuffed young man into the water. Piercy called his supervisor an hour after Ellingson drowned.

      GOD DAMN IT

      1. I wonder how many hours on the force it takes to completely beat the humanity out of you. Or do they all come in that way?

        1. It’s probably about 50% nature and 50% nurture.

        2. I imagine that they reinforce the idea that they are justice so often that they just begin to believe all their actions are just. And at that point, how can you feel guilt?

      2. “Piercy called his supervisor an hour after Ellingson drowned.”

        He should run for the Senate from Massachusetts.

        1. Hey now, call him a monster all you want. Calling him a Kennedy is crossing a line.

    4. I didn’t know this kid personally, but I knew a ton of people who knew him. And this was fucking infuriating when it happened. I followed it for about a year and last I remember they were still not being forthcoming about what happened. This family fought like hell and it’s depressing they felt they couldn’t go any farther. That cop is a genuinely terrible human being. Early on the narrative was just that he was poorly trained in water safety, but all these details coming out paint the picture of a guy who’s just a piece of shit

      1. I don’t understand why they weren’t able to get the venue moved, if everyone involved agrees it wouldn’t be possible for a fair trial in Morgan County.

  13. ‘Thank you for making natural more normal’: ASOS is praised for using untouched photos of models baring STRETCH MARKS on their butts in a move hailed as ‘beautiful’

    Several pictures of women in swimwear on the popular site clearly show their natural blemishes have escaped the usual airbrushing widely practiced by the industry.

    Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.

    1. Can you guys guess where Crusty has stretch marks?

    2. That is not a deal breaker for any of them.

      1. No shit.

    3. I find the stretch marks and veins sexy. I’m down for all of this.

        1. Sorry all these fat asses aren’t sapient enough for you.

    4. or they brushed marks on a chick with a nice ass…clickbait

  14. WHY DOESN’T TREASON COVER THIS?!?!?!?!?!: Woman guilty of using fake penis and tricking friend into having sex with her

    The complainant said she was persuaded by the defendant to wear a blindfold at all times when they met and only found out she was having sex with Newland when she finally took off her mask.

    She should have used the “Lewis Skolnick defense.”

    1. Is this the same case from years ago, or did this happen again to a different person?

      1. Since I don’t hate you yet I shall share this relevant section:

        Newland was jailed for eight years in November 2015 after she was convicted of the same offences by another jury at Chester Crown Court. But the conviction was quashed in the Court of Appeal last December and a retrial was ordered after it was ruled that the trial judge’s summing up of the case was not fair and balanced.

        1. Since I don’t hate you yet I shall share this relevant section

          I will attempt to live up to your neutral feelings and actually read the fucking article next time.

    2. Woman guilty of using fake penis and tricking friend into having sex with her

      If I paid to set up such an arrangement would I be liable for committing prostitution? Conspiracy to sex fraud? Asking for a friend.

      1. I think it’s legal as long as you video tape it and share the results on the internet (posting a link to H&R). That seems to be how it works.

    3. The defendant also told the court she did not strap bandages to her chest or wear a swimsuit and a woollen hat to conceal her appearance.

      “Is there anything else you would like to say in your defense”?

    4. Seriously, I am no victim blamer- but if you consent to dating and having sex while blindfolded, you basically consent to not knowing whom are you fucking.

  15. A guy wanted to become a YouTube star by blocking a bullet shot by his girlfriend with an encyclopedia over his chest. Instead, he is dead.

    They just don’t make encyclopedias like they used to.

    1. He should’ve used a political speech to stop the bullet, like Teddy Roosevelt.

    2. Wikipedia is great, but it won’t stop a bullet.

  16. Oklahoma father takes down 33-year-old who’d come to home to allegedly have sex with his teenage daughter

    He told KOCO 5 News: “He (the suspect) had planned everything with her. He was ready, and we were, too.”

    What ensued ? an effective takedown ? was captured on surveillance camera. The family waited near the back door of the Oklahoma residence.

    “As he walked in and looked into the tent, my first nephew jumped out, my cousin jumped out after that, and I came with the zip ties,” the father told KOCO 5 News. He added that the suspect allegedly admitted that he’d come to the house to have sex with the teen.

    Fat, white guys playing vigilante is fucking terrifying.

    1. What, are you a racist or something?

    2. Presumably he talked to his daughter about this when he found about it. Surely he didn’t just immediately plan an elaborate trap rather than talk frankly with his daughter.

      1. Wonder if he knows that guy in Florida who beat up the good samaritan who was helping his lost daughter.

    3. Great. I bet they just got back from a trip to New York and now some subway car is gonna fall apart.

  17. “Germany is poised to finally legalize gay marriage recognition. German Chancellor Angela Merkel had opposed it for years (something to remind your friends who insist that European leaders are so much more enlightened than ours).”

    Barack Obama campaigned on the platform statement, “Marriage is between a man and a woman”.

    He also raided hundreds of state legal medical marijuana dispensaries, violated the Fourth Amendment rights of hundreds of millions of Americans, squandered hundreds of billions in taxpayer money bailing out Wall Street, and used drone strikes to kill more innocent children than Adam Lanza.

    (Something to remind your friends who insist that progressives are more enlightened than . . . everybody)

  18. Germany is poised to finally legalize gay marriage recognition.

    You will finally be allowed to know what it is when you see it.

    1. My kind of joke.

  19. I see the cucks at Treason forgot to cover the media’s bullying of our president, and the president fighting back.

    Are the cocktails really worth it?

    1. “Are the cucktails really worth it?”

      ftfy

  20. >>>Germany is poised to finally legalize gay marriage recognition.

    previously illegal to recognize it?

  21. UK court determines child to die, prevents parents from travelling to US for experimental treatment

    In March, his doctors decided that there was nothing more they could do for him, and they recommended that his parents, Connie Yates and Chris Gard, withdraw his ventilator. They refused, on the grounds that an untried experimental treatment was available in the United States. The hospital, in accordance with British law, applied to the courts to forestall further treatment.

    In April, the High Court found for the doctors and against the parents. In May, the Court of Appeal upheld the initial decision. In early June, the Supreme Court agreed. And this week, the European Court of Human Rights ? the last court of jurisdiction ? refused to intervene. Charlie’s parents have raised enough money from private donations to fund the experimental treatment, but the court decision prohibits his removal to the U.S. Whenever they see fit to do so, the doctors at Great Ormond Street Hospital can now remove Charlie’s life support.

    1. That’s the link I meant to share.

      More cruel indifference from our betters. The parents have the money to transport and treat him. How the fuck can you say they are not allowed to do so? What authoritarian monsters.

      1. Seriously. When I started reading, I figured it would be denied on the grounds that it would need to be funded by the government and they weren’t entitled to that. But seriously this is insane.

        1. Hey! If you could spend your own money on things you want, who knows where it might end?

          1. Oh, I know exactly where it would end. Exactly.

              1. Yeah, and think of the children!

      2. in Europe, medical “expertise” has been not simply a justification for, but an encouragement to, assisted suicide; guidance from medical professionals has more than a little to do with the fact that, in Belgium and the Netherlands and elsewhere in Europe, assisted suicide is now an acceptable remedy for people suffering not just from terminal illnesses but from depression, autism, and anorexia.

        Holy Fuck! I suppose that would cut down on healthcare costs.

    2. Bureaucrats making choices for me about my healthcare–do. not. want.

    3. the court decision prohibits his removal to the U.S.

      What the fuck? It’s bad enough that the state can declare that no more treatment will be given. But to prohibit their seeking treatment on their own just makes it downright evil.

      1. It’s too dangerous. Not sure how it’s more dangerous than certain death though.

      2. But to prohibit their seeking treatment on their own just makes it downright evil.

        Did you read the quote above? The official medical view seems to be that depression, anorexia, *autism*, etc. are hard to cure. Much easier just to (help them) kill them(selves).

        Evil almost seems to be the goal.

    4. Do they have woodchippers in the UK?

  22. U.S.-led coalition forces

    Funny, for the past 2 years the US role in the taking of mosul was always spun as entirely “advisory” and providing air support.

    the actual troops on the ground are iraqis and i don’t know of any ‘coalition’ constituents other than the aforementioned US ‘advisors’ and forward air controllers.

  23. Evolution in action…

  24. STEVE SMITH Celebrity Encounters!

    Rob Lowe Says He Encountered Bigfoot, Was Afraid It Would Kill Him: ‘Fully Aware That I Sound Crazy’

    While promoting his new A&E reality docuseries, The Lowe Files, the Parks and Recreation star says in a new interview that while shooting the show — where Lowe and his sons travel around the country investigating myths and paranormal mysteries — he found himself up close and personal with one of the most prolific urban legends: Bigfoot.

    We had an incredible encounter with what locals call the wood ape, which is in the Ozark Mountains. I’m fully aware that I sound like a crazy, Hollywood kook right now,” the 53-year-old actor confesses to EW. “A wood ape is the local vernacular for a Sasquatch or a Bigfoot.”

    And apparently, the alleged experience left Lowe very shaken.

    “I was lying on the ground thinking I was going to be killed,” he reveals.

    “STEVE SMITH CREATE OWN CELEBRITY SEX TAPE!”

    1. I’ve wondered what STEVE SMITH is up to. He barely gets mentioned anymore.

    2. I think Bigfoot is a rural legend, not an urban one. You never hear about Bigfoot in the cities.

  25. [i]Prosecutors have dropped perjury charges against the former state trooper who arrested Sandra Bland.[/i]
    What a fucking surprise. How did this blind worship of authority even begin, and how is it still going on? Absolutely disgusting.

    1. But he promised to never seek employment in law enforcement again!!

      How’s that work, anyway? Could I get out of a perjury charge if I promised to never work in fast food again? Or as a dental hygienist? Do I actually have to hold the position I am forswearing, or can I just pick random professions?

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