Budget 'Compromise' Means More Spending, Trump Learning About This Whole Civil War Thing, School Lunch Rules Scaled Back: P.M. Links

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  • School lunch
    Photoeuphoria / Dreamstime.com

    The two parties reached a "compromise" budget deal which essentially means more money will be spent on everything! Yay! (That was sarcasm.) There is no funding for the border wall, though. Yay! (That was not sarcasm.)

  • In an interview, Trump seems to suggest that he doesn't grasp a whole lot about the Civil War and why it happened. He also seems to think nobody else knows either.
  • A teen passenger in a vehicle was shot and killed by police in a suburb of Dallas over the weekend, and there are wildly divergent explanations of what happened.
  • It's okay to root against both sides when May Day participants protest the Trump administration.
  • The Trump administration is rolling back federal school lunch rules (some of which are based on bad science, like restrictions on salt content) pushed by the Obama administration.
  • Sebastian Gorka may be out as a White House adviser, sources say.
  • The federal government seems to be acknowledging that marijuana use helps reduce the tendency to turn to addictive opioids to fight pain.
  • There's a leadership shake-up at Fox News.

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  1. The two parties reached a “compromise” budget deal which essentially means more money will be spent on everything!

    Except me.

    1. Hello.

      1. Be blessed, Rufus.

  2. Dance, dance, dance around the maypole.

    1. I’m calling you a retard to see how long it takes WakaWaka to come stick up for you.

      1. The only reason I still post here is to see long it takes the faerie posse to show up, and you never disappoint!

        1. Two minutes isn’t a bad response time. Did you count how many times you clicked Refresh?

      2. Mikey also seems to think that the old fertility festival of May Day and the more modern socialist observance are not just coincident but identical.

        1. You’d think he’d be interested in ‘taking back’ May Day from the commies, returning it to its strong Germanic roots. He’s just giving the entire day away to the socialists, like a cuck!

          1. I’m enjoying the mental image of him getting madder and madder while thinking about a bunch of Wobblies dancing around a maypole.

      3. Alright, the bitches are back! Keep up your catty remarks, everyone thinks you guys are real cool

    2. What is “Mikey says this when he is sitting on the hard rock penis of his workout buddy”?

      1. Not in a cuckaschmuck faggy way, though.

        1. “That is a great ass, Mikey. It’s so toned and tight, I bet I wouldn’t even be able to fit my dick in there.”

          1. “You’re on, bro. Hnghgnghn! Oh damn, i bet you’re popular with the ladies!”

          2. “As god is my witness!”

      2. Nope, I don’t swing the way you do, Sally.

        1. So you like the cock, then? NTTIAWWT.

        2. Simple Mikey’s rejoinders are invariably some combination of 1) rubber v. glue, 2) gay slur, and/or 3) calling his opponent a girl. Basically, he maxed out his rhetorical development sometime around third grade.

  3. There is no funding for the border wall, though. Yay! (That was not sarcasm.)

    (Only standard cosmo treason.)

  4. There’s a leadership shake-up at Fox News

    More blond bombshells!

    1. Rupert Murdoch has Parkinson’s?

      1. I chuckled more forcefully than i probably should have.

  5. A teen passenger in a vehicle was shot and killed by police in a suburb of Dallas over the weekend, and there are wildly divergent explanations of what happened.

    Whatever the shooter wrote down on his report will be what we go with, though.

  6. The two parties reached a “compromise” budget deal which essentially means more money will be spent on everything! Yay! (That was sarcasm.) There is no funding for the border wall, though. Yay! (That was not sarcasm.)

    Come on, Shackadoo. You’re supposed to leave it as an exercise for the reader.

    1. Shackadoo, where are you?

      1. Shack Attack is not your monkey, and does not dance to the music of your hurdy-gurdy.

    2. Why would there be funding for the wall, I was told Mexico was going to pay for it.

  7. It’s okay to root against both sides when May Day participants protest the Trump administration.

    What was the other side?

  8. The Trump administration is rolling back federal school lunch rules…

    So on top of everything else, he wants to starve children or make them fat or whatever!

  9. A teen passenger in a vehicle was shot and killed by police in a suburb of Dallas over the weekend, and there are wildly divergent explanations of what happened.

    Only one account matters, guess which that is.

  10. Get ready for the panic of the century of the week: Hidden horror of school sex assaults revealed by AP

    Relying on state education records, supplemented by federal crime data, a yearlong investigation by The Associated Press uncovered roughly 17,000 official reports of sex assaults by students over a four-year period, from fall 2011 to spring 2015.

    Ranging from rape and sodomy to forced oral sex and fondling, the sexual violence that AP tracked often was mischaracterized as bullying, hazing or consensual behavior. It occurred anywhere students were left unsupervised: buses and bathrooms, hallways and locker rooms. No type of school was immune, whether it be in an upper-class suburb, an inner-city neighborhood or a blue-collar farm town.

    1. How do you “misreport” a sexual assault as “consensual behavior”?

      “Like, we both wanted to do it.”
      “Sexual assault, then.”

    2. “Relying on state education records, supplemented by federal crime data, a yearlong investigation by The Associated Press uncovered roughly 17,000 official reports of sex assaults by students over a four-year period, from fall 2011 to spring 2015.”
      “that figure represents the most complete tally yet of sexual assaults among the nation’s 50 million K-12 students,”
      ” Fondling is the most frequent type of sex assault reported at school ? nearly 80 percent of all school sexual assault cases between students are incidents of unwanted fondling. The remaining 20 percent are cases of sodomy, other penetration and rape, reports of which spike in the teen years. AP analyzed the most recent publicly available federal crime data.”

      So .00034% of the student population claim they’ve been sexually assaulted and in 80% of cases the assault was “unwanted fondling” so .000068% may have been raped, or is my math wrong here? If it’s a hidden horror maybe it’s because it’s more rare that being struck by lightning.

      1. Does the 0.00034% include cases of buyer’s remorse?

        1. “Ranging from rape and sodomy to forced oral sex and fondling, the sexual violence that AP tracked often was mischaracterized as bullying, hazing or consensual behavior.”
          Could be,

      2. Your equation seems to be missing the ‘feelz’ factor.

  11. The federal government seems to be acknowledging that marijuana use helps reduce the tendency to turn to addictive opioids to fight pain.

    But nothing reduces the tendency like the good old reliable outright prohibition, so that’s what we’ll be doing.

  12. The federal government seems to be acknowledging that marijuana use helps reduce the tendency to turn to addictive opioids to fight pain.

    But it makes no fucking difference, said Jeff Sessions, since they’re both evil.

  13. In an interview, Trump seems to suggest that he doesn’t grasp a whole lot about the Civil War and why it happened. He also seems to think nobody else knows either.

    “Bunch of cucks didn’t want to make America great again. Sad!”

    1. They should have asked him about the War of Northern Aggression.

      1. When those born to die assholes declared a King in the North?

        1. “Four score and seven years ago, our..”
          “KINGODANOOOOORFFFF!!!!”

      2. Even folks that call it the “War of Northern Aggression” have reasons for it. They just ignore everything the states actually said on the topic.

    2. Apparently (according to WaPo) all right-thinking presidents of all countries these days are supposed to think wars inevitable. Or is it just that they criticize Trump for not thinking, & criticize him for thinking?

      1. I wish more heads of state would say these things!!

  14. In an interview, Trump seems to suggest that he doesn’t grasp a whole lot about the Civil War and why it happened. He also seems to think nobody else knows either.

    I could loan him my copy of Ken Burn’s: The Civil War on bluray. It’s A fucking +

    1. Now i’ve got “Ashokan Farewell” stuck in my head. Thanks.

      1. Youtube is just a few clicks away, I do loads of paperwork to that gentle jam.

        1. Gentle Jam was my nickname in grad school.

      2. I saw Jay and Molly do a live performance in a two digit capacity venue in Glen Echo Park right after The Civil War series came out. They were a lot of fun live.

  15. Sebastian Gorka may be out as a White House adviser, sources say

    It’s because he has a foreign sounding name, isn’t it?

    1. I think we found the Russian link in the administration.

      1. In Russia, Zelda find Link.

  16. It’s okay to root against both sides when May Day participants protest the Trump administration.

    Don’t we normally root against both sides?

  17. The Trump administration is rolling back federal school lunch rules (some of which are based on bad science, like restrictions on salt content) pushed by the Obama administration

    Add soccer moms to the list of potential assassins.

  18. Sorry Megyn Kelly! Oliver Stone lands four-hour interview with Vladimir Putin to air on Showtime this summer which includes footage of the pair watching Dr Strangelove together

    The network says the film ‘captures the essence and complexity of the Russian leader and his approach to the U.S. and the world’.

    ‘The exchanges are often pointed, always thought-provoking and occasionally surreal – including a remarkable sequence where Stone introduces Putin for the first time to Stanley Kubrick’s Cold War satire Dr. Strangelove which they watched together – all serving to illuminate the mindset of one of the least understood but most important players in the geopolitical world today,’ the press release reads.

    Among the topics of their conversations was the state of U.S.-Russian relations today and Putin’s views on Trump.

    They also spoke of Russia’s alleged hacking of the 2016 U.S. presidential election, NATO and the turmoil in Syria and the Ukraine.

    What’s happening?

    1. Will there be a couple robots also making snarky comments?

      1. Someone did the same thing as me this weekend!

      2. Rifftrax Rulez!

        Rifftrax Twilight is the greatest movie franchise ever!

    2. It’s sign 42 of the End Times.

    3. It’s sign 42 of the End Times.

  19. In an interview, Trump seems to suggest that he doesn’t grasp a whole lot about the Civil War and why it happened. He also seems to think nobody else knows either.

    Another obvious distraction engineered by Trump. Masterful trolling here.

    1. I’m sure he doesn’t know this, but his statement was somewhat correct to suggest that Andrew Jackson may have been able to stop the Civil War from occurring had he been in office. Or are we to ignore what occurred during the Nullification Crisis?

      The media and the president are in a race to see who is more historically illiterate. The whole thing is a distraction.

      1. Whoa. Really makes you think. Things would have been even better if George Washington was in office then.

        1. I know you’re trying to be funny, but no one brought up Washington. They were discussing Jackson. Although, Washington did organize an army to put down the Whiskey Rebellion, so I suppose someone could make the same argument.

          1. Right, I brought up Washington, as a joke to highlight how silly it is to judge imaginary scenarios as correct or incorrect.

      2. Well now I’m seeing more of these defenses, and ignoring the stupidity of speculating like this, I can’t even see why people think Jackson’s handling of the nullification crisis means he’d avoid war. He responded to SC in his hardass way, threatening them with destruction if they spill blood in defying congressional laws. Why are we supposed to think that would have deterred the South Carolina of 1860?

        1. Because it did before? Are you really that ignorant of American history? Buchanan is often faulted for not challenging the secession vote.

          1. “Before” being 30 years prior, with a hard fought compromise over a much less explosive issue. A whole lot changed in those 30 years, some of it springing from Jackson’s support for the Union in 32. I don’t see how you maintain the union and avoid war without imagining a whole bunch of different conditions. Like here, we’re still assuming Lincoln is elected, but the lame duck president is Jackson instead of Buchanan? Sure, that’d settle the slave question for good.

    2. What is more stupid: Speculating on what might have been done differently to perhaps avoid the Civil War or believing that the Civil War was inevitable and could not have been sidestepped?

      1. Do you think Fate is mutable, like in Terminator 2, or that Fate is fixed, like in The Terminator?

        1. I think Fate sucks ass, like Terminator 3.

      2. This is stupid:

        TRUMP: I mean, had Andrew Jackson been a little later, you wouldn’t have had the Civil War. He was a very tough person, but he had a big heart. He was really angry that he saw what was happening with regard to the Civil War. He said, “There’s no reason for this.” People don’t realize, you know, the Civil War ? if you think about it, why? People don’t ask that question, but why was there a Civil War? Why could that one not have been worked out?

        Why haven’t people asked why was there a Civil War?

        1. True enough, but the article suggests thst just asking the question “why?” is stupid.

        2. You really aren’t so dumb as to not realize that this is actually a topic of discussion among historians (particularly libertarian historians)?

          Obviously, Trump doesn’t know this, but, without knowing the lack of knowledge held by the speaker, these remarks are not as incompetent as they would appear, unless one is historically illiterate.

          1. But why hasn’t anyone asked why there was a Civil War?

            1. Ummmm….that’s the point. A lot of historians do discuss this. Sorry, you’re not going to learn about it in your 9th grade American history class. Maybe, read a book?

              1. What? You are telling me the issue has been discussed? My goodness.

                1. Waka forgot to recharge his sarcasm meter.

      3. The most stupid is criticizing a president for thinking out loud about how to avoid wars! This is some of the best stuff I’ve heard from any head of state I can remember in a long time.

        1. That’s what he was doing. Thinking. Real hard, too.

  20. The federal government seems to be acknowledging that marijuana use helps reduce the tendency to turn to addictive opioids to fight pain

    The keyword here is ‘seems’.

    1. Fight hate with hate AND violence!

      WIN!

    2. Apparently the ultra-dangerous antifa clowns have jumped the ocean.

      1. Nah. We are just now starting to catch up. France knows how to do left-wing violent protest.

    3. Crazy shit… Police cars in France get lit up in broad daylight. Makes no sense to me as an American with our lethal police force.

    4. Setting a human being on fire is one thing, but talking shit about immigrants is beyond intolerable.

      1. It’s literally hitler.

    5. Our leftists are pikers, as usual.

    6. Jesus. The Brits there are carrying straight up pictures of Lenin. I guess that’s one way of saying “We’re in it for the Gulags”.

      1. Those Brits are CRAZY.

        http://fremont.com/about/lenin/

  21. There is no funding for the border wall, though. Yay! (That was not sarcasm.)

    Reason — supporting bad hombres since 2016.

    1. Some, I assume, are good people.

    1. Aww, I miss Jesse. He would have loved that.

  22. Also, glad to see the commenting software has been fixed.

    *** looks to Fist for guidance ***

    1. Well, sort of. You still have to refresh sometimes, and Mikey is still here, so there are some issues.

      1. Note to self: Use less-subtle sarcasm.

        1. Sorry, man. It’s been a day.

          1. Sarcasm. Yeah, that’s real helpful.

            1. Thanks, Fist.

          2. I thought sarcasm was the default form of communication here.

  23. In what police described as an “unknown altercation,” a vehicle then began “backing down the street toward the officers in an aggressive manner.” One officer shot at the vehicle, Haber said, striking the front seat passenger.

    Well, you see, since the car was backing out of a parking spot toward where police were, from the police officer’s perspective, the passenger seat is on the side where the driver would be normally when firing into an unknown altercationmobile, so it all makes sense.

  24. The Trump administration is rolling back federal school lunch rules

    Without those rules, millions of children will starve

    1. *Gasp* Just like in The Handmaiden’s Tale!

  25. Lena Dunham Opens Up About Battle with Anxiety & OCD: ‘There’s No Shame in Asking for Help’

    Teaming up for a new campaign with the Child Mind Institute, a nonprofit that works with children struggling with mental health and learning disorders, the Girls star says she feels fortunate her parents encouraged her to seek treatment for her mental health issues.

    Dunham’s video is part of a larger series the Child Mind Institute is launching in which celebrities including Emma Stone, Michael Phelps, Elizabeth Vargas talk about their personal experience with mental illness.

    Thank you, Lena.

    1. I’ve always thought narcissism was a mental illness.

    2. Not going to knock anything that American Hero Michael Phelps is associated with.

      1. Do you think you could beat Michael Phelps in a lap around the pool, if Lena Dunham were tied to his ankle?

        1. Do you think you could beat Michael Phelps

          No. Not in this life or any other.

          1. Agreed, manatees are surprisingly hydrodynamic.

        2. lol as if being weighed down by a human/cow hybrid wouldn’t drown him.

          1. Fat people float.

    3. the Girls star says she feels fortunate her parents encouraged her to seek treatment for her mental health issues.

      Money well spent.

      1. I’m going to go ahead and guess that her “treatment” was as imaginary as her “sexual assault.”

    4. Is it really a great idea to let her near the kids?

  26. The most relevant link of the day:
    Star Trek inspired licence plate deemed offensive in Manitoba

    Manitoba’s public insurance company has revoked a Star Trek inspired custom licence plate after receiving complaints that it’s offensive. Nick Troller’s two-year-old plate reads “ASIMIL8.”

    Troller keeps it inside a licence plate holder that says: “WE ARE THE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.” He says Trekkies will recognize that it’s a reference to the cyborg villains who bellowed “you will be assimilated” on various Star Trek series and movies.

    He says strangers have complimented him on the plate and taken photos. “I thought it was funny,” he said.

    But Troller got a phone call Wednesday from someone at Manitoba Public Insurance, who he says told him two people had complained that the word “assimilate” is offensive to indigenous people.

    1. So he changed his license plate to “SMALPOX.”

      1. ^genius

    2. So whats the current date for the next rapture? I’m going either way this time.

  27. To be fair to Trump (gagh!) there is no solid reason the issues over the Civil War could not have been worked out. We are the only nation that had to have a war to end slavery. It was not inevitable.

    1. That can be said about every conflict.

    2. The only way to “work it out” was to allow slavery to expand into new states.

      1. The Dred Scott decision made the Civil War inevitable. It eliminated the possibility of distinguishing between slave states and non-slave states, so it was going to have to be all one or all the other from then on.

        1. Then why don’t all Sup. Ct. decisions lead to civil wars? There’s always going to be disagreements, so…must shoot it out? Even if it was all 1 or the other, did people have to shoot (& stab & bludgeon, etc.) over it? They’re not shooting it out en masse over abortions, taxes, etc. They put up a Berlin Wall & later took it down w/o a war in either case. Nobody’s making war over Trump’s border fence idea.

          There are always hotheads. But only in rare cases do wars break out. Why don’t we have more heads of state thinking about why it happens sometimes.

  28. In an interview, Trump seems to suggest that he doesn’t grasp a whole lot about the Civil War and why it happened. He also seems to think nobody else knows either.

    If Jackson had still been in charge, he never would have agreed to those Sokovia accords, and then Tony and Cap would still be BFFs. It would be huge people!

  29. Reason now hates a President for thinking it would have been a good thing to avoid the war that cost more American lives than any other war, and forever expanded the power and scope of the federal government.

    Libertarian Moment.

    1. And your assessment of this article TOTALLY isn’t disengenuous faggotry.

      Just kidding lulz

  30. Trump may be shit when it comes to a lot of things, but imagine what the court would have looked like if Hillary won. You can kill your 1st and 2nd amendments goodbye, as well as some others.

    My prog friends correctly see this as the biggest failure (for them) last year. They were so close to reversing Heller, Citizen’s United, and others. Now that may never happen

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/01/…..nt-rumors/

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