Gorsuch Joins the Bench, Chicago Judge Shot Dead, PR Word of the Day Is 'Re-Accommodate': P.M. Links

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  • Gorsuch
    Polaris/Newscom

    Neil Gorsuch is now officially Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch after his swearing in ceremony today.

  • A former U.S. ambassador to Syria believes President Bashar Assad will attempt additional chemical weapon attacks, which means more people arguing for more intervention in the country, no doubt.
  • Sources say the governor of Alabama will be announcing his resignation over his impeachment and sex scandal.
  • Charleston church shooter Dylann Roof has pleaded guilty to the state-level charges of murder, which avoids another trial and potential death sentence. He has already been found guilty and sentenced to death in federal court.
  • So the buzz on social media today is all about how United airlines attempted to "re-accommodate" a man from an overbooked flight by having him violently and forcibly removed by Chicago police.
  • A Cook County judge was shot dead outside his Chicago home early this morning and a woman was wounded. Police say they're pursuing "multiple leads."
  • New York will become the first state to offer free four-year college tuition to families with annual incomes of less than $125,000.
  • Two adults are dead in an elementary school shooting in San Bernardino, California. Officials believe it may have been a murder-suicide. Two children were also injured.
  • Pulitzer Prizes were reporting and books from 2016 were handed out today.

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  1. Neil Gorsuch is now officially Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch after his swearing in ceremony today.

    All kinds of swearing.

    1. Hello.

      Chicago: Still my kind of town?

      1. ^ Not first on “hello.” Booo.

      2. Chicago: Still my kind of town?

        Mel Torme’s best song.

    2. Ohhhh what the hay, I’ll join in cause I miss y’all.

      1. As someone completely unaffiliated with this place, I extend to you an official welcome back.

        1. Riiiight.

      2. Trickle back economics.

  2. A former U.S. ambassador to Syria believes President Bashar Assad will attempt additional chemical weapon attacks…

    Proof enough for me.

    1. And if he doesn’t, they will find a way to make sure he “does”.

    1. Goodbye

  3. Sources say the governor of Alabama will be announcing his resignation over his impeachment and sex scandal.

    You won’t have whatever his name is to kick around anymore!

  4. He has already been found guilty and sentenced to death in federal court.

    South Carolina gets to execute the Rebel Flag. Or does it?

  5. So the buzz on social media today is all about how United airlines attempted to “re-accommodate” a man from an overbooked flight by having him violently and forcibly removed by Chicago police.

    Any press is good press.

    1. It’s time for Trump to send in the Feds.

  6. Batting first through eighth, Fist, the 1st baseman.

    1. Someone has to do the jobs that Americans won’t do.

      1. You always were eager to pick low-hanging fruit.

        1. “Low-hanging Fruit” was my nickname in college.

          1. It was my grandpa’s nickname in the nursing home. Ew.

  7. A Cook County judge was shot dead outside his Chicago home early this morning and a woman was wounded. Police say they’re pursuing “multiple leads.”

    They report they have taken into custody a suspect as he was trying to flee by plane to Louisville.

  8. New York will become the first state to offer free four-year college tuition to families with annual incomes of less than $125,000.

    Free in New York ain’t cheap.

    1. Tell me about it.

      As if the original 13 years of paying for other people’s children wasn’t bad enough, now they’re tacking on more years before and after.

      Oh and for the record, CUNY had free tuition until the 60s. Can’t imagine why they ended it.

    2. Do you know how much it costs to be homeless in New York? Most people can’t afford it.

      1. IDK I’ve seen video on the bank some of the really skilled bums can rake in. I think it’d be a fun game for a grip of time to see how much $$ you could amass; though the occasional knife fight and alley rapes make it less appealing.

        1. “Occasional Knife Fight” was my favorite drink in college, right after “Humping A Fat Chick.”

        2. I didn’t believe it until I saw my first check.

  9. New York will become the first state to offer free four-year college tuition to families with annual incomes of less than $125,000.

    Why only $125,000?

    1. Seriously. Isn’t the goal to get everyone dependent on government handouts? What’s the delay here?

      1. Ostensibly, someone has to pay for it, right?

    2. Yeah, to be fair, with NY cost of living that’s lower middle class money at best.

      1. Which is why inst advof giving them handouts, they should suggest they move somewhere else.

  10. Officials believe it may have been a murder-suicide.

    Seems usually to be the case.

  11. He has already been found guilty and sentenced to death in federal court.

    But let’s waste the taxpayers’ money on another trial just the fun of it.

  12. U.S., Mexico and Canada officially launch bid to co-host 2026 World Cup

    The United States, Mexico and Canada announced their intention to submit a joint bid to co-host the 2026 FIFA World Cup on Monday, with three-quarters of the games to be played in the U.S., including the final.

    The bid, which U.S. Soccer chief Sunil Gulati said has the support of President Donald Trump, aims to be the first World Cup to have three host countries. If successful, it would mark just the second time that the tournament has had multiple hosts after the 2002 World Cup was co-hosted by Japan and South Korea.

    As long as Big Poppa approves.

    1. Hmm. Maybe we should just have the recorded works of Notorious BIG be president for a while and see how that goes. Couldn’t be any worse than what we’ve had.

    2. Or just cut to the chase and declare all sports games occurring everywhere anytime to be part of The Ultimate Sportsball League Megachampionships, and we can skip all the wasted stadiums.

    1. Season two was bad only in comparison to the glory of one, imo.

      1. I don’t disagree with this statement.

    2. Wait, David Milch? Spoiler alert: someone in season 3 is getting eaten by pigs.

      1. Well it is a crime show. Pigs are the crocodiles of the Midwest.

        1. I think we should all be thankful that the two species have not yet interbred.

          1. I for one would welcome our new Hogodile overlords.

            1. *Crocowine

  13. A former U.S. ambassador to Syria believes President Bashar Assad will attempt additional chemical weapon attacks, which means more people arguing for more intervention in the country, no doubt.

    OF COURSE HE WILL. Because Assad knows the best thing for his continued existence in power is to needlessly gas militarily irrelevant targets to provoke western governments to bomb him to the point where Syrian rebels can rape him to death with a bayonet.

    This all sounds so damn credible.

    1. Assad giving up his chemical weapons — he’ll end up dead like Gaddafi.

      1. Supposedly he already gave up his weapons after the false flag Ghouta gas attack. So there’s that. Meanwhile, ISIS has apparently used chemical weapons over 50 times since then.

  14. Neil Gorsuch is now officially Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch after his swearing in ceremony today.

    I lurked and saw that Fist said when Syria got bombed, “remember my failed healthcare plan, me either.” or something. One could slide Neil Gorsuch into the swept under the rug tidbits of that opportune time to blow shit up.

  15. said Governor Andrew Cuomo Saturday in a statement. “Today, college is what high school was?it should always be an option even if you can’t afford it.”

    At least he’s half right.

    1. “…and have no business being there.”

    2. A Cook County judge was shot dead outside his Chicago home early this morning and a woman was wounded. Police say they’re pursuing “multiple leads.”

      An article I read earlier said that the judge was responding to the woman being shot after exchanging words with the assailant. The judge proceeded to exchange words with the assailant.

      Pro tip: If someone demonstrates the capacity to shoot someone when words are exchanged, don’t approach the assailant and exchange words with them.

      1. Pro tip: If someone demonstrates the capacity to shoot someone when words are exchanged, don’t approach the assailant and exchange words with them.

        If you’re a judge…

  16. A former U.S. ambassador to Syria believes President Bashar Assad will attempt additional chemical weapon attacks, which means more people arguing for more intervention in the country, no doubt.

    Assad or one of the other two hundred interested parties in Syria.

  17. Ohio woman, 23, is charged with raping a male taxi driver while her accomplice held him at knifepoint then robbed him of $32

    During the ride, police said Jackson pulled a knife on the 29-year-old driver and Carter performed an unspecified sexual act on him. The attack took place in the 200 block of Larkins Street in Findlay.

    I’ll be in my bunk.

      1. Is there an “or else” exception or footnote to “don’t stick it in crazy”? I assume not as it would lend itself to a somewhat obvious loophole.

        1. I think that’s implied when there is zero chance of it actually happening.

          My implied disclaimer is “in fantasy world, where there are no personal consequences for me and I never have to speak to or see her again if I don’t want to”.

        2. Why do people always truncate that saying? It’s “don’t stick it in crazy repeatedly.”

      2. She’s a little skanky, but rapee’s (?) can’t be choosers.

      3. Then it’s not rape.

      4. No, she would. You’re not gonna have a say in the matter.

    1. Just imagine if it had been an UBER driver! I don’t know why, but I’d reckon front page material.

      1. Only if the Uber driver was the rapist.

        1. I think if one tweaked the headline enough one could obscure that fact and turn it into decent clickbate.

          1. Fuck that. The driver and the actual assailant were male. Done deal.

          2. Yeah, it’s dead simple.

            UBER RAPE ROCKS OHIO TOWN

    2. Damn, that is like 2 miles from my house. I picked up a pizza from the Dominos across the street from that block this weekend.

      I was on a business trip in January when this happened, so didn’t hear of it at all locally.

  18. Charleston church shooter Dylann Roof has pleaded guilty to the state-level charges of murder, which avoids another trial and potential death sentence. He has already been found guilty and sentenced to death in federal court.

    Fed’s trump state rights whenever they please, yeah? The one time I’m going to hope for some federal dick swinging.

    1. I don’t think there is really a conflict here between state and federal.

      I do think that it just should have been tried by the state, though. There is no legitimate federal jurisdiction. And it’s not like a jury in VA wouldn’t have sentenced him to death if he had had a trial there.

    1. Whoa. Didn’t see that coming.

      1. Not only that, I thought he’d already gone through surgery.

      2. Yeah. You’d think I’d be very proud if it and peacock around, showing it off and such, but I’m just not that kind of guy.

        1. [Re-forms mental image of Crusty from that fat guy stripping at the LP convention to that guy from Silence Of The Lambs]

    2. Caitlyn Jenner reveals she HAS now undergone gender reassignment surgery because she was ‘tired of tucking the damn thing in all the time’

      But not by choice, because social constructs.

      1. Are you advocating a transgender’s right to not snip? Shall we add a new letter to the LGBTQ formula?

        1. I thought that was already covered by ‘Q’ and ‘I’.

          Actually, only loosely keeping up with Jenner, I thought Jenner liked having sex with women as a man and it made me nostalgic for the good old days when the firm progressive stance was that sexuality was a fixed trait just like being black. And conservatives were morons for thinking slippery slopes were things that existed or that actively supporting gay people in their lifestyle choices as policy would make things more complicated and obnoxious.

          1. It is rather confusing, does Jenner like banging dudes and/or chicks? How has this bit of info been lost in all the brouhaha?

    3. I misread tucking in that sentence.

      1. I mean, he was the world’s greatest athlete, so I am sure it was possible.

  19. So the buzz on social media today is all about how United airlines attempted to “re-accommodate” a man from an overbooked flight by having him violently and forcibly removed by Chicago police.

    If cops killing with total impunity is A OK; I don’t see a fucking a dude up even bears consideration.

  20. New York will become the first state to offer free four-year college tuition to families with annual incomes of less than $125,000.

    Everyone ever think like, maybe colleges could just let people in so it could ACTUALLY be free? Knowledge for knowledge sake, rather than knowledge for profit? I mean colleges themselves are often the ones purporting that school should be free, but I imagine that’s just so they’ll be on the short list of Federal funding.

  21. ?New York will become the first state to offer free four-year college tuition to families with annual incomes of less than $125,000.

    Unmentioned in the linked article, but slipped into the legislation by some Republicans, is that you have to stay in New York after you graduate for the same amount of time you attended to “repay” their generosity. If you leave the state before that time, the free tuition transmutes into a loan that needs to be paid back with interest.

    1. There is no age limit for the program; once students receive the Excelsior Scholarship they must be enrolled full-time with an average of at least 30 credits per year and continue to meet the minimum GPA requirement for their program.

      Or else what? If someone’s GPA tanks their third semester are they going to convert that into a loan too?

    2. Does this apply to all colleges, only college is located in New York, or only public colleges located in New York?

  22. Two adults are dead in an elementary school shooting in San Bernardino, California. Officials believe it may have been a murder-suicide. Two children were also injured.

    Must be Monday…

  23. In case you were wondering, scientists have not yet figured out how to optimally tickle rats:

    Rat tickling: A systematic review of applications, outcomes, and moderators

    1. Is PETA for or against rat tickling I wonder?

    2. Huh. Seems kind of ironic that they state this study is important because they’re looking for ways to improve “resilience to depression and anxiety”… tickling, or the threat of being tickled, always makes me more anxious and distressed.

      1. tickling, or the threat of being tickled, always makes me more anxious and distressed.

        I just pee my pants.

        1. Hmm, how would rats react when tickled while wearing pants?? I smell a new study!

          1. Cute!

      2. According to the study, rats like it.

    3. “Optimal Tickle” was my nickname in college.

    4. This is what happens when they insist on shoe-horning women into scientific fields.

      The study’s authors:

      Megan R. LaFollette , Marguerite E. O’Haire, Sylvie Cloutier, Whitney B. Blankenberger, Brianna N. Gaskill

      1. And a man put shrimp on a treadmill. Less to do with shoehorning women into science, more to do with it being a bad idea to give anyone other people’s money to spend, regardless of gender.

  24. No prize for Dalmia? Maybe next year, kid.

  25. New York will become the first state to offer free four-year college tuition to families with annual incomes of less than $125,000

    “A college degree is a RIGHT, bigot!”

    The saddest thing about the “free tuition” movement amongst progressives is the tacit admission that college is basically 13th-16th grades now, and that a bachelor’s degree is no longer a marker of intellectual rigor, but a box that people should simply check off as part of their journey through the stultifying world of American education.

  26. There are 200 comments on that Pulitzer article so far and 150 of them are classified as “Reader’s Picks”. It’s a little funny to watch them line up to high five the Times after it just high-fived itself.

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