Trump Removes Bannon From NSC, ISIS Hackers Release 'Kill List', UFO Enthuiast in Brazil Disappears: P.M. Links

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  donsutherland1/flickr

  President Trump has removed Stephen Bannon from the National Security Council.

• The president also said he's changed his mind on Syria and Bashar Assad after seeing video of a gas attack yesterday.
• Hackers linked to ISIS released a "kill list" with the names of more than 7,000 Americans and Brits.
• Trump says he has just one criticism of Bill O'Reilly, who is facing a backlash from advertisers over news he and Fox News paid out $13 million in settlements over various sexual harassment claims. The president says O'Reilly should not have settled, and instead fought and "taken it all the way."
• An F-16 crashed near Joint Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland during a training mission; the pilot ejected safely.
• A UFO enthusiast has vanished without a trace in Brazil.

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

President Trump has removed Stephen Bannon from the National Security Council.

What? Who's going to be the racist on the team now?

[Crusty Juggler aka "Chad"]

Whomever General H.R. McMaster decides it will be.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

No taxation without representation!

[Shirley Knott]

Sadly, no representation without taxation. Parasites gotta feed.

[gaoxiaen]

For most Americans, no representation with or without taxation.

[pan fried wylie]

the DC license plates specifically read "Taxation without Represenation".

Maybe it's like those joke t-shirts, and "No" is on the back of the plate.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Hello.

Not to say natting but has it been proven Syria/Assad committed this act?

[Free Society]

Well since the first gas attack was quite probably a staged action by terrorist insurgents looking to gain themselves air superiority, and now this latest (second?) gas attack comes less than a week after Trump expresses his intention to leave Assad in power, I have my doubts that this is Assad. Also notice how quickly, in both cases, the media immediately asserted without evidence (surprise) that it must have been Assad's work. That ISIS or some such shitheel group might have been behind it, even after ISIS has been openly using chemical weapons, is not even touched upon by the media and political class.

I have my doubts.

[Charles Easterly]

Assad has always been at war with America (being made great again).

Hello Rufus and how have you been?

[Rufus The Monocled]

Not that you'll see this but meh.

I was cooking.

[Fascist loofa-faced shitgibbon]

Most faggy journalist never played sports.
The only rushing statistics they can amass are rushing to judgement.

[Fist of Etiquette]

A high school principal in Kansas has resigned days after the school paper ran an expos? on her credentials.

This counts as fake news.

[$park? leftist poser]

A high school principal in Kansas has resigned days after the school paper ran an expos? on her credentials.

I thought there was a "no repeats" rule.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

And then her house mysteriously burned down and she got drunk on gin and peed on a cop car.

[Rhywun]

Wait... she moved to Florida?

[Crusty Juggler aka "Chad"]

The Weirdness of Breastfeeding Someone Else's Baby

The woman in question, Canadian writer Leah McLaren, says she did not have permission from the baby's parents, who were downstairs from the room where the incident took place about 15 years ago, nor was she lactating at the time. Nothing happened, according to the tale: The baby's father, Canadian politician Michael Chong, walked in just after she'd unbuttoned her shirt and as McLaren was reaching into her bra. Still, the mere idea ? a curious woman who thought she might insert her nipple into a baby's mouth without parental consent ? set the internet on fire.

I would breastfeed the shit out of your baby.

[$park? leftist poser]

Rebecca De Mornay did it better.

[Juice]

nor was she lactating at the time

Well, all rightie then.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Way to give a newborn baby alcoholism, Crusty.

[Zeb]

nor was she lactating at the time

Then it's not breastfeeding, now is it?

[Fist of Etiquette]

What about all those switched at birth people?

[Meh.]

Welp, TIL that "spontaneous lactation" could be a real thing. And an indication of a brain tumor.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

I had a lesbian friend a way back who was hellbent on adopting a baby. She bought a breast pump and got some herbs to promote lactation. Her plan was to stimulate her breasts each day until she started lactating. I sort of lost touch with her, but I wonder if she eventually succeeded.

[Fascist loofa-faced shitgibbon]

Seems like you chose the perfect time to lost touch with her.

[Fascist loofa-faced shitgibbon]

sorry, I meant to say "losted" touch with her.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The president says O'Reilly should not have settled, and instead fought and "taken it all the way."

Why is the president giving the time of day to a man who apparently isn't famous enough for women to let him grab them?

[Jerryskids]

The president says O'Reilly should not have settled, and instead fought and "taken it all the way."

Funny, Bill O'Reilly said the same thing to the women he had bent over the desk.

[Fist of Etiquette]

An F-16 crashed near Joint Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland during a training mission; the pilot ejected safely.

That's going to affect someone's career path.

[Jerry on the sea]

Yeah, he could become like a Senator or something.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I like people who don't bail out.

[CE]

McCain was all for bail outs when he ran for President.

[Juice]

I've got one of those falafel things if you want to take it all the way.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

I just had a shishtawook.

[Crusty Juggler aka "Chad"]

Comparison pics like say...next to a number 2 pencil and an eggplant? Thanks.

[Libertarian]

If you're scrubbing your back with a falafel instead of a loofah, I'm worried about your health.

[Juice]

Both have lots of fiber!

[Crusty Juggler aka "Chad"]

Am I Finally Done With White Guys? I certainly hope so.

But, of course, for them it's just tourism. Racism isn't something white people need to face every day. And too many times, those same white boyfriends decided to sit out being my partner. I lost count of the times my boyfriend in my late 20s would tell me to "just leave" parties or social events when I complained of being the only person of color in his all-white friend group. Even more hurtful was the night he and I were standing outside a bar in Bushwick and someone we both knew started making racist comments. While I tried to explain to this man why what he was saying was offensive, my boyfriend stood there in silence. Later, I tried to convey how hurt I was that he didn't say anything, but he didn't seem to understand how bewildered I was. There are, in my relationships with white men, so many moments like that. No matter how close I held the mirror up to their faces, sometimes their good and liberal wells of understanding and compassion were simply inaccessible.

TW: It's impressively awful.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

I hate how Trump has made being racist ok again.

[Zeb]

But, of course, for them it's just tourism.

Of course.

Does that mean that she knows her personality sucks, or that she is just condescending and presumptuous?

[Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting]

I lost count of the times my boyfriend in my late 20s would tell me to "just leave" parties or social events when I complained of being the only person of color in his all-white friend group.

What a telling statement right there. It's not enough that you're simply hanging out with people to have a good time, there needs to be a certain percentage of melanin amongst the party-group for you to feel comfortable.

But no, they're not racist, no sirree.

[Jerryskids]

So is it the whiteness that makes the guys she dates pussies? I'll be honest, I've never been in a situation where some guy's making offensive comments about me and I've had to wait for my date to come to my defense. I didn't realize that my whiteness was what kept assholes from being assholes to my face.

[Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting]

So many great, unself-aware lines, but this one tops them all for sheer fantasy projection:

I was on the subway platform playing my usual game, and I caught the eye of a black guy. It felt different this time, like the flirtatious version of the "black nod" at work ? an acknowledgement between two black employees who might not even know one another, but who have a shared experience.

Or, he could have been thinking, "Girl, keep starin' and I'll be bustin' a nut in you by the end of the night."

[Rhywun]

White here & I've dated a lot of non-whites and thank god almighty none of them were like this.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Wow, I love the top comment in that article, the one that starts with:

I'm a black woman. I'm often the only black person in my environment and I love every minute of it. I don't spend my time worrying how others may perceive me because of my skin color. I focus instead on what I want to achieve.

[Meh.]

Her last sentence is great too, "The more you keep questioning whether your skin color is an issue, the more it will be an issue to you." The author of the article seems a little obsessed.

[Fascist loofa-faced shitgibbon]

"The author of the article seems a little obsessed."

You think? She's got a white boy fetish and she's bitching about other people's racism.

[Not a True MJG]

Rekt.

[Calidissident]

If the guy really was silent while a friend made racist comments, then it's fair to be upset over that.

But what exactly does she expect him to do when she complains about parties and social events being too white? Only attend events that have a certain % of people of color? Randomly invite people to be tokens so she feels more comfortable?

[Paulpemb]

There are some pretty broad definitions of what constitutes 'racist comments' these days. Was the guy dropping N-bombs, or did he just say Obama was a lousy President?

[Calidissident]

That could be true as well (hence why I said "If") I could see either being a reasonable possibility. I was just making the point that even taking her at her word, it's not clear what exactly she expected him to do in the party and social events situations.

[Not a True MJG]

I can't believe I read the whole thing.

You'll be pleased to know that, if you search for her image in google, Lena Dunham's picture comes up frequently. (and if it weren't for this article: would)

(ok, even after this article, probably would, but I'ma just be like that bf outside the bar the whole time)

[Fist of Etiquette]

A UFO enthusiast has vanished without a trace in Brazil.

We'll just see if that enthusiasm lasts through the first probings.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

That's not the first time you've said that, is it?

[Fascist loofa-faced shitgibbon]

The dude will be returned with an asshole the size of a mason jar.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Trump also said he's changed his mind on Syria and Bashar Assad after seeing video of a gas attack yesterday.

But reserves the right to change his mind again, depending on how many retweets Assad gives him.

[Jerryskids]

I doubt he really "changed his mind" - if one video of one attack changed his opinion of Assad, his opinion of Assad must have been based on next to no evidence. I think it might be more accurate to say Trump finally learned enough about Assad and Syria to form an opinion. Hell, he might even know what an allepo is by now.

[Crusty Juggler aka "Chad"]

10 Forms Of Birth Control Explained

But, of course, there's frustrating news too. Elected officials at the state and federal level are working to reduce funding for Planned Parenthood and contraceptive coverage for all. Birth control means a lot of things to a lot of people, but no matter what, it should always be affordable and accessible for those who want it. For now it still is?so we collaborated with Planned Parenthood of New York City and Lenny Letter to show you what's available, what it looks like, and how it work for real women

Finally!

External Condoms

Price: About $1 each, sometimes available for free
Effectiveness: 82-98%

What it is: A thin covering worn on the penis during sex to prevent pregnancy. Many are made out of latex, though there are also latex-free options. They are also often available with spermicides.

[Not a True MJG]

The More You Know

[Meh.]

What, no pull-out method?

[Zeb]

Also conspicuous in their absence are ass sex and abortion.

[Crusty Juggler aka "Chad"]

"Ass Sex & Abortion" was the name of an experimental comedy duo I founded in college.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

That's going into my Fist And Crusty Go To Yellowstone movie. At the end of the scene, Fist and Crusty find out that Iowans don't have a developed appreciation for mime artists.

[Rhywun]

If you can't afford your birth control, you've probably made a few wrong choices in life. Either way, stay out of my wallet please.

[Tony]

You know what costs more than birth control? The fucking interstate highway system you are at liberty to avail yourself every day.

[Fist of Etiquette]

You'll be paying for that kid. Crunch the numbers.

[Fascist loofa-faced shitgibbon]

Best technique: Just come on her face.

[Zeb]

That's a fine looking lenticular cloud.

[Brandybuck]

Shame if it got damaged.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Doris Day finds out she is older than she thinks.

Would or not would?

[Crusty Juggler aka "Chad"]

Some things get better with age, like wine and famous vaginas.

[Libertarian]

93: would.
95: would not.

[Libertarian]

An F-16 crashed near Joint Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland during a training mission; the pilot ejected safely.

A UFO enthusiast has vanished without a trace in Brazil.

Coincidence? I think not.

[Domestic Dissident]

I want to believe.

[Crusty Juggler aka "Chad"]

Don't Let Jeff Sessions Undermine Police Reform

Mr. Sessions's suggestion that the Justice Department's policing agreements interfere with proactive policing is likewise baseless. There is no question that lawful stops, arrests and, at times, force are all necessary tools for ensuring public safety. But Baltimore's misguided zero-tolerance policing strategy, for example, severely damaged police-community relations, especially in black neighborhoods. Even the Baltimore Fraternal Order of Police acknowledged that officers felt "pressure to achieve numbers for perception's sake."

The police chief responded:

You cocksucker, I gotta give it to you. A brilliant idea. Insane and illegal, but stone-fucking brilliant nonetheless. After all my puttin' my foot up people's asses to decrease the numbers, he comes in and in one stroke gets a fucking 14 percent decrease. Fucking shame it's going to end our careers, but still.

[Crusty Juggler aka "Chad"]

Would if her eyes were crazier.

[Not a True MJG]

+ WMD

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Naked Woman With Webbed Toes Found Wandering Street Outside Fresno, Claims She's A Mermaid

Would or would not?

[Brandybuck]

Hey, news from my clade!

[gaoxiaen]

Pics of toes or GTFO.

[Libertarian]

"Pentagon and White House officials said the president will call on Xi to rein in the rogue state or face unilateral action by the United States, including the possibility of military operations."

I don't understand the logic of broadcasting this stance. Why wouldn't China answer by saying, "go get 'em, cowboy" and then watch the show? As with the Bill Reilly issue, Trump just can't keep his mouth shut.

[Tony]

I think Trump would know a fellow fat, saggy rapist when he saw one.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Tony, unfortunately, didn't.

[Red Rocks Baiting n Inciting]

Depends on how discriminating he is with his hook-ups.

[Tony]

What happens at early 2000s goth parties stays at early 2000s goth parties.

[Crusty Juggler aka "Chad"]

Daniel Inouye?

[The Last American Hero]

Well, Bill Clinton did attend his daughter's wedding...

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Shia LaBeouf's movie doubles ticket sales overnight.

[Crusty Juggler aka "Chad"]

Sorry, Tom Hiddleston! Daniel Craig is back to play Bond

"Plus, Barbara Broccoli doesn't like Tom Hiddleston, he's a bit too smug and not tough enough to play James Bond."

British actor Hiddleston's cringe-making romance with Taylor Swift sealed his fate with Bond producers, we're told, followed by his self-righteous Golden Globes speech, pontificating about his trip to South Sudan, and how Doctors Without Borders "binge-watched" his series.

I am boycotting all Bond movies until someone apologies to Swizzle.

[Meh.]

Seconded. Nothing screams tough enough to play James Bond like parading around in an "I Heart T.S." tank top.

[CE]

To be fair, you'd wear that shirt too if she asked you to.

[Meh.]

True. Guess I was just jealous that I don't have one.

[Brandybuck]

What the fuck does a lenticular cloud have to do with Bannon, ISIS, O'Reilly, or butt probing UFOs?!?!?

[Crusty Juggler aka "Chad"]

Last one, people: Ann Coulter and Jimmie Walker?

Dynomite!

[OldMexican Blankety Blank]

The president says O'Reilly should not have settled, and instead fought and "taken it all the way."

The pussy-grabber knows what he talks about.

President Trump has removed Stephen Bannon from the National Security Council.

Even the president found Bannon's Fascism too off-putting! Wow.

[BTS11]

Bruno Borges welcome to the Twilight Zone

[simplybe]

US politicians pass law after law allowing spying into every aspect of their citizens lives yet when one of them finds out they are being spied on they act all shocked and get belligerent. These same politicians authorize attacks on nations we are not at war with killing 1000s of civilians at orders of their Saudi benefactors yet get all indignant when some terroist strikes us here at home. It would seem to me that if those same politicians would abolish the CIA and authorize a nuclear strike on the House of Saud the world would be a more peaceful place.