Final Showdown for Sessions, Yemen Revokes America's Raid Privileges, Dakota Access Pipeline to Proceed: A.M. Links

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  1. The final vote on whether Sen. Jeff Sessions will be the next Attorney General is set for Wednesday night.,/i>

    It will be quite a… session.

    1. The Dems were unsuccessful in their attempt to jam Sessions.

      1. Strain liquid into boil pot, and rinse grains with further 2 qts. (2 L) hot water. Add 3 gallons (11.5 L) to collected liquors, and dissolve the liquid malt extract, then dried malt extract. Top up to 5 gallons (19 L) with water and bring to boil.

        1. All grain dude. All grain.

        2. Don’t you need some pectin for jam? I am beginning to suspect that this isn’t the right recipe for that.

    2. Hello.

    3. Give it up.
      Swiss ain’t coming back.

  2. A judge sentenced teens accused of racist vandalism to read more literature

    Just not Huck Finn

    1. 50 Shades

    2. Fuck Hihn?

        1. *snigger*

          1. racist

            1. This subthread is hella problematic.

              1. Wait til Hihn sees it at like 4 AM and comments!

      1. I automatically read that as Hihn also. *calls self bully

      2. You’re on the list…

  3. Oklahoma lawmakers want to roll back criminal justice reform initiatives approved by voters in November.

    if voters didnt want them to do whatever they wanted they wouldnt have voted for them

  4. A judge sentenced teens accused of racist vandalism to read more literature.

    Not Tom Sawyer though!

    1. Can I still listen to Rush?

      1. Floggings!

        1. What time is that in really, really Eastern?

  5. Last night, America got to glimpse an alternate-reality 2016 election as Sens. Ted Cruz and Bernie Sanders debated live on CNN.

    it *astounds* me that people watched this.

    1. I’m not sure which is worse, this universe, that universe, or the one where Hitler won.

      1. Definitely the latter. Season 2 really picked up.

        1. More John Smith, please. And, let’s make the next drug-fueled German orgy weird.

          1. Westworld does orgies right.

            1. *rising intonation*…

              What about Game of Thrones?!?!

          2. Very disappointing all around. Not enough mayhem.

          3. OBERGRUBENFUHRER CRUSTY! *nazi salute*

        2. That’s the ridiculous universe where Hitler won though, the Fatherland universe still sucks, but is basically just the Cold War but with Nazis instead of Soviets and a lot more dead Jews and Slavs.

          1. Still better.

          2. “but is basically just the Cold War but with Nazis instead of Soviets and a lot more dead Jews and Slavs.”

            That, and the whole world consists of giant competing police states that takes the Gestapo in WW2 as a role model.

        3. Is it better than Season 1? The first season seemed to drag on and on.

          1. Much better, imho

          2. The first season seemed to drag on and on.

            Some call that building suspense.

            1. There has to be a payoff.

          3. Yes. Shit goes down.

            And we need a Trump-mandated Rufus Sewell quota. At least 10 movies per year.

            I just wish they didn’t shoot MitHC in “I Can’t See What’s Going On Because It’s So Damned Dark” Vision?

            NOTE: I hyphenated the stuff in quotes above and I had a problem posting my comment because my comment contained a word that is too long (50 characters). That seems really unreasonable. Fuck off, comment limit slavers!

    2. They need to have Ken Bone as a regular at these things.

  6. ?Yemen has withdrawn permission for U.S. special-ops missions in the country after a raid approved by Donald Trump led to the deaths of at least 30 people, including children and an American Navy SEAL.

    Double secret probation!

    1. I wonder if this may be actually a good thing.

      1. If Trump follows it…

  7. Posted this in last night’s thread, but it’s time for more “shit JB’s prog friends say”. Today, JB’s prog friends react to his support for Thomas Massie’s bill to close the Department of Education.

    What could possibly go wrong with completely removing government oversight of education?

    I can’t wait to see the texas history curriculum focusing on how evolution is false, it was actually the democrats against slavery and the whole party switching thing is fake history and those uppity negros complaining because america was too great.

    Honestly it’s mostly about making sure more and more kids are raised in an evangelical Christian system without any outside influence to allow them to think.

    Let’s have a religious test to enroll in pre-k !

    There should be standards that every state has to meet regarding education. If Wisconsin wants to all of their schools to become religious private schools they shouldn’t be able to do that. If they want to teach alternative facts they shouldn’t be able to. Kids shouldn’t be punished with strict religious education solely because of where they were born.

    1. One guess as to how many of these people were in a public school PRIOR to the DoE being founded?

      I was in 3rd or 4th grade at the time. In KY.

      Public schools were nothing like what they think they will become.

    2. Why are you friends with these people? They are clearly unhinged.

      Where do they get this idea that everyone would be in religious private schools with out doe. Or that texas wouldnt teach evolution

      1. CHRISTFAG TALIBAN!

    3. it was actually the democrats against slavery

      Wait, what?

      If you want to make their heads explode, point out that parts of Canada has publicly funded Christian schools.

      1. Or Germany has required religion classes.

        1. Well how else are you going to learn not to trust the Papists?

          1. Half of Germany is still Catlicks, y’know. The better half, too.

            1. I’m aware, but they’re not the ones that ‘won’. Prussians, well-known for loving those Catholics.

              1. Point is, the Catholics take required Catholic class. The evangelisch take their own class. The rest get “ethics” at least in my area where the Turks weren’t particularly numerious.

    4. it was actually the democrats against slavery and the whole party switching thing is fake history

      I see your friends are so ignorant of history that they can’t even critique it correctly…

      1. #FakeOlds

    5. So if the parties switched would woodrow and fdr now be republican?

      1. That “party switching sides” bullshit really annoys me – and is taken as a virtual article of faith among the left. I just point out that the only KKK member to ever serve in the Senate was a democrat and retired a democrat. And if he was alive now, he would STILL be a former Klan member, and STILL be a democrat. No switching sides.

    6. What the hell is going on in the second one (about Texas history curriculum)? The others are what I’d expect, but that one is really something.

      1. What the hell does the history curriculum have to do with evolution?

        1. 6000 years is history. Or something.

    7. “Kids shouldn’t be punished with strict religious education solely because of where they were born.”
      Don’t we wish….

      1. “Worship of the state doesn’t count as religion, BIGOT!”

        1. Government worship is the biggest religion in the world. Very many “Christians” are government worshipers.

          Something, something, can’t serve two masters…

      2. Kids shouldn’t be punished with strict religious education shitty educational resources solely because of where they were born.

        Do they realize they are kind of making the argument FOR school choice?

    8. Of all the arguments they could make against closing DoEd, that’s what they choose?

      The Bush years *really* traumatized a lot of people. I was and am a critic of social conservative attempts to get the government to legislate morality, but that voting bloc was influential for, what, 4 or 5 years, a decade ago?

      And here is another thing – the reason it seems to matter if the Texas board of education tries to teach creationism in the classroom is because most people don’t have a choice outside of the public education system, so the vast majority of people who *don’t* want to creationism taught in schools, or are indifferent to it, end up having to live under the preferences of a small number of influential government officials. With more school choice there would be *some* Christian fundamentalist schools, but it would almost certainly be a small number. The people who really cared about getting a Bionically-aligned education could do so and the rest of us could go on our merry way.

      I wonder if they just can’t comprehend a system where no one is at the top, telling everyone else what to do.

      1. They’re too lazy to do anything other than vote and bitch. The Catholics set up schools, the evangelicals set up schools, the Jews set up schools, the proggies vote and bitch.

        I’ve pretty much settled on the Catholic schools as the best option.

        1. It would be interesting to see a good study on how people of different political/cultural ideologies respond to adverse (from their perspective) scenarios.

          My impression is that progressives and people who are more committed to centralized solutions try to affect change through protests, voting, and engagement with elected officials. People who are less inclined to turn to central governments (or at least more suspicious) seem to resort to big protests much less.

          What I don’t know is if people on the “right” try to come up with their own, more local solutions at a greater rate than people on the “left”. That seems like a popular narrative on the right, but it would be interesting to see if there is any good evidence to back it up.

        2. Best wardrobe by a longshot.

        3. This is a great post. This applies to the entirety of the victim-playing demographic.

          I read an article about gay bars in Philly facing mandatory sensitivity training because black lesbians complained about mistreatment. One is quoted as saying all the bars are owned by white cis gay men. Well? Sack up and open up a black lesbian owned lesbian friendly bar.

          Fat advocates complain about no good clothes in their size. Well? Sack up and start a fat-friendly clothing line.

          Hate what the schools teach? Start a school, bitch.

          1. Fat advocates complain about no good clothes in their size.

            There’s a part of the mall nearby that features four different plus-sized stores catering exclusively to women, and that’s not counting the maternity store.

            1. Unless you’re Crusty, you need to move.

        4. And, of course, Catholic schools teach things like evolution and the Big Bang…

      2. They watched that movie about the Jesus Camp kids praying for Bush, and now they see Christian Dominionists everywhere. Even in Donald Trump.

    9. They are unapologetic bigots, and morons to boot. I wonder how many of them could give better than a third-grade explanation of evolution.

    10. Honestly it’s mostly about making sure more and more kids are raised in an evangelical Christian system without any outside influence to allow them to think.

      Saw this gem. Do your friends know how public schools work? So much free thought there.

    11. “Kids shouldn’t be punished with strict religious public education solely because of where they were born.”

      FIFY

    12. …They choose Wisconsin as their uber-conservative state?

      1. Scott Walker = the devil, the reddest of all. .

  8. Yemen has withdrawn permission for U.S. special-ops missions

    Never before will the Yemenese government have felt so much like US citizens when attacks are carried out without telling them.

    1. The So-called Yemeni government

      1. They’re terrible. The worst. Nobody likes them.

      2. Whoever touches base first this round gets to call dibs on being the Yemeni government!

    2. But is was in coordination with the Yemen Airborne Assault Team! Nothing could have gone wrong! Just think of their nickname!

      1. They’re

        1. You were right the first time.

  9. Last night, America got to glimpse an alternate-reality 2016 election as Sens. Ted Cruz and Bernie Sanders debated live on CNN.

    Looks boring relative to what we got.

  10. Yemen has withdrawn permission for U.S. special-ops missions

    Right.

    1. Even so, what is Yemen going to do if the US decides to ignore it?

      1. Exactly. “Fuck Yemen.”

        1. I already did. She was good!

      2. *snorts* What are they gonna do, shoot ourselves down?
        /DoD

  11. Yemen has withdrawn permission for U.S. special-ops missions in the country after a raid approved by Donald Trump led to the deaths of at least 30 people, including children and an American Navy SEAL.

    Don’t they know Obama was doing this already?!? So this is super okie dokie fine for Trump to do. Gosh they need to stop listening to the lamestrean media

    1. Shhhhhhh….who cares how hypocritical it is, let’s just be glad it happened and hope it sticks.

      1. I re-read my post and see how it could be taken as pro Trump. I was trying to mock the general conservative argument that it’s okay cause Obama did it.

        1. Ah. Carry on.

    2. Yemen only found out about the raid after they read about it in the papers.

  12. A judge sentenced teens accused of racist vandalism to read more literature

    Just not Joseph Conrad’s The Nigger of the ‘Narcissus’: A Tale of the Sea .

    1. Mein Kampf, then.

  13. Oklahoma lawmakers want to roll back criminal justice reform initiatives approved by voters in November.

    Where the wind of change comes whipping down the plain.

    1. “He’ll enjoy Oklahoma’s wide open spaces. He loves to run and run and run.”

      1. But is he free to gambol?

  14. Zuckerberg funds bid to develop mind-reading brain implants

    [Implants} can be placed inside the brain and have the potential to change people’s behaviour by altering their “physiological responses”

    What could *possibly* go wrong?

    1. I don’t like this whole “living in a dystopian novel” thing.

      1. But the rich folk eat it up.

      2. *** brushes up on matrix algebra ***

    2. I’m from future. I’m telling you guys you need to blow up this company, and Cyberdyne while you’re at it, RIGHT NOW.

      1. But totally FB first. They’re far worse.

  15. Big Hemp is suing the DEA.

    It’s his own damn fault for having all those kids when he played for the Sonics.

    1. I definitely LOL’d.

  16. Does India have a problem with false rape claims?

    After the infamous 2012 gang rape of a student on a bus in Delhi, the number of rape cases reported to police in India rose sharply. But one survey concluded that in Delhi, in 2013-14, more than half of these reports were “false” – fuelling claims by male activists that women are alleging rape in order to extort money from men.

    Is there a Rolling Stone in India?

    1. Does India have a problem with false rape claims?

      Does the Pope shit in the woods?

      1. “Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your Mitre?”

      2. Yes, but if nobody hears it, it doesn’t make a sound.

      3. Does the Pope shit in the woods?

        Pope Francis probably does. Something about solidarity with migrants…

  17. A judge’s “unusual sentence” included assigning books like “The Handmaid’s Tale.”

    The Miller’s Tale

  18. The U.S. military’s stats on deadly airstrikes are wrong. Thousands have gone unreported\

    Most alarming is the prospect this data has been incomplete since the war on terrorism began in October 2001. If that is the case, it would fundamentally undermine confidence in much of what the Pentagon has disclosed about its prosecution of these wars, prompt critics to call into question whether the military sought to mislead the American public, and cast doubt on the competency with which other vital data collection is being performed and publicized. Those other key metrics include American combat casualties, taxpayer expense and the military’s overall progress in degrading enemy capabilities.

    “I can tell you, unequivocally, we are not trying to hide the number of strikes,” the official said. “That is just the way it has been tracked in the past. That’s what it’s always been.”

    Sure!

    1. Knowing how the military works, it’s often difficult to discern the difference between nefariously hiding data and the incompetence of those gathering and maintaining it.

      1. After listening to that joker on the Federalist podcast yesterday basically say that the military just lies to get the money they want, thus we need to give them more money, I’m sure it’s a healthy share of both.

        1. Fair assessment. I remember my commander telling me to buy useless shit, simply because if we didn’t spend the GWOT money, we wouldn’t keep getting it. He was correct, but I felt absolutely dirty putting in those reqs.

          (As a side note, I don’t wish an S4 position on my worst enemies)

          1. this also happens in corporate settings. You have to spend the money this year so your brand team or product group or whatever gets at least the same amount the next year.

      2. This is the classic air warfare split between the air force and the army. the Army can’t own airplanes, therefore they can’t do airstrikes.

        Those Apaches are just tall Hummers. 😉

  19. Chicago public schools sent kids home with a letter accusing the governor and Trump of “cheating children”

    Intense rhetoric between Chicago democrats and Illinois’ republican governor is nothing new, but some parents are upset it is now being played out in a letter sent home with their kids. Chicago Public Schools officials sent home a letter with all 381,000 students blasting Gov. Bruce Rauner and ignoring any role democrats may have played in the state’s budget woes.

    The “Dear Parents” letter begins by stating “Governor Bruce Rauner, just like President Trump, has decided to attack those who need the most help.” Twice the letter accuses Gov. Rauner of “cheating” children. Once it says the governor “stole” from kids. The letter goes on to cite Chicago Public Schools CEO Forrest Claypool’s often repeated claim that the governor broke a promise by blocking Chicago from receiving $215 million for city schools.

    1. They might as well blame all the shootings on him too, while they’re at it.

      1. Don’t they already!

      2. I thought they blamed those on Indiana gun laws.

        1. DING! We have a winner!

    2. Bust that union.

    3. Fire the head and administrators would thought this and anyone who didn’t see what was wrong with this.

      1. Heck just close all the schools, the kids would be better off anyway.

    4. I first read that as “beating children”.

    5. They’re pure scumbags.

      Kid selling lemonade: Thank you for supporting us Mr. Democrat who loves us.
      Democrat (barely acknowledging kid): Yeh, yeh whatever. Get the fuck out of here. Wait! Is it free?
      Kid: 25 cents.
      Democrat: Here’s a dime. NOW, get the fuck out of here.

      1. “They’re pure scumbags.

        Kid selling lemonade: Thank you for supporting us Mr. Democrat who loves us.
        Democrat (barely acknowledging kid): Yeh, yeh whatever. Get the fuck out of here. Wait! Is it free?”

        No, it’s more like,

        Democrat: Do you have a business license for this? No. Well I’m going to have to report you as an unregulated food seller.

    6. Chicago Mayor Emanuel: Dems Need to Take ‘Chill Pill’

      Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel warned Democrats to “take a chill pill” because they are not reclaiming national power anytime in the near future.

      “It ain’t gonna happen in 2018,” Emanuel said at Stanford’s Graduate School of Business in California, per the Chicago Tribune. “Take a chill pill, man. You gotta be in this for the long haul.”

    7. It’s like they *want* school choice to succeed when they do things like this. I mean, you couldn’t put together a better argument if you tried.

    8. Disgusting.

  20. Minnesota police threaten drunk drivers with Justin Bieber commercial

    The Wyoming Police Department shared a tweet warning that anyone caught driving drunk following the big game would be treated to the T-Mobile commercial which featured the Canadian pop star as a “celebration expert.”

    “If you drive drunk tonight we’re going to subject you to that Justin Bieber T-Mobile Super Bowl commercial the entire way to jail,” police wrote.

    Wyoming Police Chief Paul Hoppe told the Twin Cities Pioneer Press the humorous nature of his help keep people interested in public service announcements.

    What do you mean?

    1. This sounds similar to the recent “force drunks to listen to Nickelback” plan up here.

      I’m not sure if these aren’t crimes against humanity.

    2. Minnesota, Wyoming police chief? I knew Wyoming was small, but I didn’t realize all the crime could be handled by one department.

      1. And crime in Minnesota too, apparently.

        Either that or there’s a town called Wyoming.

    3. Police chief (scratching head perplexed): I don’t get it. Why are incidences up?
      Assistant: I told you, chef. People actually LIKE April Wine!

      /Rufus plays air guitar.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=caJiUCih-Hs

  21. No mention of Elizabeth Warren getting crucified merely for reading a letter written by the martyred MLK, Jr.’s widow on the Senate floor?

    Personally, I would have let her read it into the record and then reply by reading some of Donald Trump’s tweets about Elizabeth Warren into the record. Hey, I’m not violating Senate collegiality rules by talking shit about my esteemed colleague, I’m just stating for the record the shameful slanders made by Donald Trump.

    1. It’s BS for two reasons:

      1. She wasn’t impugning Jeff Sessions, Senator from Alabama. She’s impugning Jeff Sessions, nominee for Attorney General.

      2. Streisand Effect. A nothing statement that would’ve gotten no attention is suddenly cause celebre amongst the left.

      3 (yes I know I said 2). Fuck Jeff Sessions.

      1. Your counting like an everyday femenist

        1. This is easily the most horrific insult ever stated about a H&R regular. How dare you.

          1. I’m just calling it like I see it. 😉

        2. Speaking of which, here’s your strawman quota for today.

          Our justice system is not typically sympathetic to sexual assault and harassment survivors, to say the least. Many report being shamed by police, accused of lying in court, and bullied by their peers.

          It is sympathetic to perpetrators, on the other hand.

          99.4% of rapists avoid jail time, and groping isn’t even clearly illegal in some parts of the US.

          1. accused of lying in court,

            Any lawyer worth his salt will do that in defense. I’m sorry people don’t realize that.

            99.4% of rapists avoid jail time

            I’m guessing that statistic came from arse Mathematica?

            1. Being accuses of lying is triggering. Jesus, it’s like you don’t even SJW.

    2. The Senate is chamber of the aristocracy. Considering only 43 voted to let her continue, even some of her Democratic colleagues were horrified at the prospect that they would call each other out. Those type of antics are left to the peasan— er, people’s house.

    3. It’s the Stupid Party after all.

      And senators deserve no respect based on their title.

    4. I missed it. what was the point of this and who is doing crucifying?

      1. There is a Senate rule that a senator is not allowed “impugn the morals or motives” of another senator. Warren gave a speech about how Sessions is too racist to be allowed as Attorney General and McConnell invoked the rule to cut her off.

        1. They really are a bunch of arrogant shitheads.

    5. Crucified? She’s being canonized on FB and that’s what really matters.

      1. At least her criticisms were reasonable and well-founded. That is unless all she said was “racist! racist! racist!”… oh right, that’s exactly what she did.

        Sessions is by far my least favorite cabinet pick. The guy is an anti-privacy, anti-federalist drug warrior on FDA/DEA approved steroids. There’s plenty to shit on the guy about. But as always, leftists insist that their allegations be incendiary rather than valid.

        And we’re supposed to ally with these people?

  22. NYT commits actual journalism.

    Millions of people who travel between the Mid-Atlantic and the Midwest each year fight through Breezewood, Pa., a strange gap in the Interstate System. A leg of Route I-70 brings drivers north from Washington and Baltimore to plug into the Pennsylvania Turnpike and the great road network that runs west to the heartland cities of Pittsburgh, Cleveland and Chicago.

    But no ramps join these two huge highways at their crossing. Instead, drivers travel an extra two-mile loop that takes them out of rural Appalachia and into several suddenly urban blocks with traffic lights and a dense bazaar of gas stations, fast-food restaurants and motels.

    The true villains are, of course, profiteering private business owners; nowhere do we encounter the terms “regulatory capture” or “public choice economics”.

    1. Those are just crazy free-market fundamentalists, they are like economics Taliban.

      (By the way why is being called a fundamentalist an insult? Shouldn’t you want to focus on the fundamentals?)

      1. What word in that triggered the filter? Maybe “Taliban”.

        1. It got filtered? It that was a good one too..

          *Skulks off*

        2. “m**ket fundamentalist” That was a White Indian favorite. Along with g*mboling and c*ty-state

    2. There’s nothing wrong with Breezewood. It’s not a problem at all.

  23. Last night, America got to glimpse an alternate-reality 2016 election as Sens. Ted Cruz and Bernie Sanders debated live on CNN.

    Which one is the darkest timeline? I forget.

    1. The one with Obergruppenfuhrer Santorum

      1. Like a sweater vest wrapped around America…forever.

    2. They are both the darker timeline

    3. We are, at least, in the fun but kinda-dangerous one.

  24. Former gubernatorial candidate and former head of the Florida LP Adrian Wylie on the GOP’s idiotic “replacement” for Obamacare.

    Republicans, lemme lay some Economics 101 on ya:

    You can’t force insurance companies to cover pre-existing conditions, unless you ALSO force healthy people to buy insurance at elevated premiums to offset their loss. That’s the only way the numbers work. It’s called socialization of losses.

    Either unconditionally repeal ACA or just STFU and admit you’re a bunch of socialists.

    If only.

    1. Oh, don’t worry. It’s only a feign attempt to remove the mandate. Democrats won’t let them do it and the Senate will pass something meaningless, like selling insurance across borders, but otherwise the ACA is left intact.

    2. But here is the thing….i still think it would work because the penalty is a bit of a joke. If you are worried about healthy people not buying elevated plans, then that would be happening already now due to a joke of a penalty. It makes more sense to just pay penalty which i dont think IRS can technically enforce collection and just buy insurance if needed

      Not forcing people to buy insurance along with covering the existing conditions is essentially the status quo (now ACA)

  25. A week in the life of P?22, the big cat who shares Griffith Park with millions of people

    What evolution did not prepare P-22 for is how to exist in an eight-square-mile urban park with more than 5 million human visitors a year. Most male cats have almost 20 times that space, nearly to themselves.

    Warning: Some might not like the website design. I love it.

  26. ‘Iconic’ And ‘Loveable’: Remembering An Elderly Lungfish Named ‘Granddad’

    or more than eight decades, an Australian lungfish named Granddad resided at Chicago’s Shedd Aquarium. The beloved fish made the journey from Australia by steamboat and train to dazzle attendees of the legendary 1933 World’s Fair.

    Since then, the aquarium estimates some 104 million guests have seen the famous lungfish.

    Granddad’s long life has come to an end, after he was euthanized “due to a rapid decline in quality of life associated with old age,” according to the aquarium.

    Life just ain’t fair.

    1. I bet Ron Bailey is jealous of those sharks that live to be 500 or whatever.

  27. OH MY GOD REASON ENOUGH WITH THE TRUMP BASHING AND START REPORTING ON THE TERRIST ATTACKS GOING ON ALL AROUND US AND THE REAL ONES NOT THE FAKE AUTISTIC KIDS TRYING TO START A RACE WAR ONES

    1. Dude, this has ceased to be funny.

      1. It never was to begin with

      2. Stop feeding it, let it die screaming.

    2. How dare you post Trump’s talking points here!!

  28. But if there were such a connection, millions of potential customers wouldn’t be funneled into Breezewood. Jim Bittner, who manages the Gateway Travel Plaza that offers fast food and gas in Breezewood, and whose family has owned businesses there for three generations, said he knew that Breezewood annoyed the people who don’t stop but that preserving it was important for this economically struggling region.

    His family’s businesses alone employ about 200 people, he said, and his family has taken out millions of dollars in loans to upgrade facilities they cannot move elsewhere. He called the prospect of a bypass a “sword of Damocles” hanging over Breezewood.

    “Any second, someone could come in and say, ‘Time’s up, the faucet is turned off, no more business is going to be coming off that road,'” Mr. Bittner said in an interview. “And then what do I tell the bank? How do I pay the loan off? How do I keep employing people? Where do they find jobs?”

    It’s a complicated story; but just remember, if we had a functioning utilitarian democracy we could just bulldoze that place and straighten the road.

    1. That’s not what the Sword of Damocles is, damnit!

    2. I would tell him, one, Colonel Harland Sanders had that exact problem and he figured it out.

    3. And people say eminent domain is always bad. Condemn it, bulldoze it and build a proper road. Fuck him.

    4. Give people a reason to keep going there, and they’ll keep coming. It’s not difficult.

  29. Oooooh – Trump’s live on TV addressing the National Sheriffs Association, let’s see if he repeats the lie that murders are at a record high and the liars in the media refuse to report that fact.

    1. “Really? And all the sheriffs like him, huh? That is – that is – that is great. Uh, you mean “away,” though, right? Because, otherwise, it sounds a little different, but, uh, that’s, uh, that’s outstanding. You forgot to say “away” again. But listen, let me call you back in a bit, ok? Bye. (to Lindsay) Trump has blown them all away.”

  30. OH MY GOD REASON THE JEWS IN MEDIA AND THE JUDICIARY ARE PUTTING THE ENTIRE COUNTRY AT RISK N U SAY NOTHING WAKE UP SHEEPLE !!!!!11!!!1!

    1. Jesus, man, get your meds adjusted.

      1. OH MY GOD WERE AT WAR AND PEOPLE ARE DYING AND I JUST WANT TO SAVE THEIR LIVES BY GIVING THE MEN AND WOMEN OF LAW ENFORCEMENT THE WEAPONS THEY NEED TO KILL THE BAD GUYS KILLING ALL AROUND US

        1. I guess you’re watching the speech? That’s a pretty close quote – but you forgot the part where he said he’s going to get serious about the War on Drugs, he’s going to put an end to these drugs coming into this country. And the part where he “doesn’t kid”. (Presumably except when he’s talking about grabbing women by the pussy.)

          1. Joke or not, the pussy grabbing saga was hilarious. I don’t want a president that doesn’t grab pussies when the situation calls for it.

          2. I wish we could quietly kill the War on Drugs. (Not the band, although I’m not a huge fan.)

      2. Stop. Feeding it. CSP, it’s screaming for attention, and you are validating it.

  31. Regardless, versing teens in works by writers of color and women writers can only better their understanding of the world.

    All womens and colored folk write good, insightful and truthful books. Who wouldn’t come off with a better understanding of the world after reading writers like Ta-Nahesi Coats and Andrea Dworkin?

    1. They did say “literature”. Which pretty well rules out those two anyway.

      I figured they were just punishing them by making them read late 20th century literary fiction.

      1. Like the NYT editorial page.

    2. Regardless, versing teens in works by writers of color and women writers can only better their understanding of the world.

      For a second I thought this was The Hair.

  32. The U.S. Army said it will halt further study and allow the developers of the Dakota Access pipeline to resume construction.

    Gosh, that almost makes it sound like the ‘study’ was just shuffling papers around.

      1. Leave Elizabeth Warren out of this. She gets a rest after so many overnights of OUTRAGE.

        1. “needs” a rest

    1. like the ‘study’ was just shuffling papers around.

      Did you see what the protesters left behind all over sweet Mother Gaia? Talk about shuffling papers around.

  33. I don’t like this whole “living in a dystopian novel” thing.

    I blame Philip K Dick.

  34. The final vote on whether Sen. Jeff Sessions will be the next attorney general is set for Wednesday night.

    He’ll sail through. Sessions was an abysmal, if predictable, choice. There are solid reasons to oppose him (civil asset forfeiture, abandoning federalism at the first mention of the word marijuana, support for the surveillance state). But, the crux of his opposition was more interested in calling the guy who took down the Klan in Alabama a racist.

    1. He’s SUCH a racist that he doesn’t even like white people!

      1. The KKK was a bad look for white supremacists, duh. They took them down so they could be SECRET RACISTS instead.

    2. My FB feed has swung from outrage over De Vos yesterday to outrage over Sessions today. No coherent arguments given of course, just the latest snarky memes from the Hive Mind.

      1. You have a stronger stomach than me. I haven’t been able to look at FB in weeks, and recently deleted the apps from all my devices so I wouldn’t be tempted.

        1. I only go there for birthdays and events. In and out as quick as can be.

      2. That’s depressing, as there are countless arguments against Sessions to be made.

        1. Absolutely, and I’m sure my friends are completely ignorant of those arguments.

    3. civil asset forfeiture, abandoning federalism at the first mention of the word marijuana, support for the surveillance state

      Those are not things which the left objects. They only object to someone else doing it. And RACIST is the only thing they know how to say.

      1. And RACIST is the only thing they know how to say.

        True. The thing is that ship’s sailed. And like I said, calling the guy who took out the Klan a racist with no evidence doesn’t exactly enhance your credibility.

    4. Attorney general appointments are almost always going to be statist types, though. From what I’ve read, Sessions was picked because he was the first Senator to endorse Trump’s campaign, and was there from the beginning of his run. So yes, he’s not great, but Trump’s cabinet is intriguing overall: Tillerson, DeVos, Puzder, Pai, Pruitt, etc.

  35. Most of you are doing an excellent job ignoring the recent attention whore troll. Keep up the good work.

    1. It’s genuinely pretty sad.

      1. Only when he begs for death, then, and only then, will I permit him to die.

    2. Well, we were until you blew it by mentioning it.

      1. Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill.

    1. Gotta “bash the fash”. Robby knows how awesome that is.

    2. I put my safety and my freedom on the line because letting Yiannopoulos speak was more terrifying to me than potential injury or arrest.

      You got to be careful when you curb stomp the opposition. You might get a sprained ankle.

      Inactive good note, campus police have one admitted suspect they can go after…Right?

      How is this not seen as fostering a hostile environment for students, but letting people not use 80 gender pronouns is?

    3. Check your privilege if you are against it!

      If African conflicts are any indicator, nothing brings the races together like a good ol’ anti-communist militia.

      1. If African conflicts are any indicator, nothing brings the races together like a good ol’ anti-communist militia.

        Can you expound on this for the benefit of those of us who are too young to remember the cold war? Sounds interesting.

        1. As DiCaprio’s character in Blood Diamond put it: “There’s no apartheid in a foxhole.”

          Anti-communist militias/mercenaries/commando units in places like Angola, Mozambique, Rhodesia, and later on in Sierra Leone tended to have to be pragmatic about race relations. You had both white and black volunteers/professional soldiers, along with foreign experts (for training/command purposes) and paid mercenaries who were expected to work together as a cohesive force. The result was a command structure that had to negate historical racial tensions in order to be effective, and a lot of that was driven by a primary hatred of the communists over each other. The black Angolan who’s village was burned down and mother raped by Cubans probably hate them more than the white South African who supports a racist regime back home.

          So you end up with unit make-ups that look like this, which is Robert MacKenzie’s Sierre Leone Commando Unit from the 90s.

          1. Thanks for the info. I enjoy learning such “forgotten” nuggets of history. In popular history the main axes of political struggle in Africa center on colonialism and racism, with the struggle over communism barely getting a mention (other than a few references to those communists who were also part of the movements against colonialism and apartheid), so it’s good to get a fuller picture.

    1. I wish they would’ve messed up and handed the obese male truck driver the wrong question:
      “I’ve have recurring nipple soreness upon breast feeding my newborn baby girl? Would your plan cover me?”

      1. “I lost my …. do I really have to read this particular question?…. penis in an industrial in an industrial accident, and I now identify as transgender. I want to know if your plan would cover my birth control?”

    2. An actual journalist would simply try to verify if the fat old hags story had any truth to it. They are making a leap here. One that may end up being entirely true, but which they didn’t have enough evidence to print so confidently. Do some work/research.

      Regardless, Cruz simply should have told the fat old hag to pay for her own shit and that it’s offensively stupid to compare welfare to something people buy for themselves.

  36. OH MY GOD REASON THE DRUGS ARE POURING INTO THE COUNTRY AND GENERAL KELLY WILL BUILD A REAL WALL TO STOP IT AND SAVE THE LIVES OF OUR PRECIOUS CHILDREN AND THEY WILL THANK US AND GLADLY PAY THE BILL FOR IT

  37. Part One

    Part Two

    Part Three

    Somewhere in America?

    My Uterus is Private Property!

    People Don’t Kill People / Shoulder Thingies That Go Up Kill People

    Bash the Fash!

    BULLIES!!!

    Rich Ain’t Fair, Pay Your Share!

    Left Sharks Matter

    All these signs and more drifted past us as the hundreds of marching protesters in The Million Protester March marched protestfully down the street. The yokel lowered his submachine gun, exercising excellent trigger discipline and situational awareness as he cringed at the sight of so many hipsters and progressives.

    “To be sure, some of these signs have a point,” the urbane human noted, watching out of the corner of his eye to see how Pink Hair reacted. “I mean, their methods aren’t very noble or humane, but their goals are quite noble and humane.” She reacted by foaming at the mouth, and with a cry of “Nazis!” she leapt onto a nearby marcher and proceeded with gusto to beat xim over the head with xer own ideas, I mean sign.

    1. “All right, team, it’s not nothing you haven’t been trained for,” I truthfully encouraged. “I’ll just get the Danger-Car out of the garage and we’ll get on with this vital mission.” We all piled into the car, which certainly had seating for five but seemed oddly crowded.

      “What the hell are they even protesting,” the wily ambiguous one asked. I mentally subtracted a question mark from the sentence because the smug bastard probably intended it to be rhetorical. Just to be contrary (and assert my superior rank, of course) I decided to answer.

      “Shut up. They’re protesting everything! Anything! All the things! What else is a march for? What do you want them to do, accomplish something? Then what would they march about, eh? It’s a hard life, marching, but it’s got to be done and somebody’s got to do it. Just like somebody’s got to kill Hitlers. And by ‘somebody’ I mean you specifically.” I narrowed my gaze in the direction of the back seat, for emphasis.

      I drove by the pink-haired woman so that she could acrobatically leap onto our moving vehicle, but when she made to leap she accidentally wrestled a fourteenth protester to the ground and bludgeoned him with a sign instead. Ah well, she’d catch up.

      1. You know you’ve read Sugarfree for too long when you keep expecting the orgy that will never come.

        1. As a capitalist I would be remiss if I tried to compete in a fiction market that saturated with bodily fluids.

    2. Weaving around and through and under and over the marchers, we made our slow way toward our target: Reason HQ. The crowd got thicker, then thinner, then thicker again, then quite possibly overweight with dangerously high cholesterol, until finally we couldn’t get any further. My sharp eyes immediately saw the cause of our delay: a counter march!

      I stepped smoothly out of the Danger-Car just as some protesters lit it on fire and flipped it.

      “Blast!” I swore. “Counter protests are the most deadly and least reported variety known to man or bird or Nazi dinosaur. We’ll have to find another way. It’s too bad I lent the Danger-Flying-Car to the original team, for their mission to the lost city of Flint, Michigan. Which is why they aren’t here and I’m stuck with you chatterboxes. Did you all bring your retro-futuristic jet pack rocket boots?”

      “Aw yeah!” (narrator’s note: spoken in Californian, subtitled in English) whooped a nerd wearing a black t-shirt with some sort of ironic message printed on it. A futurist? Transhumanist? The eagle part of my brain can’t tell nerds apart. “I’ve been waiting all day for us to get to use these sweet gadgets! The future of freedom is bright, with awesome tech like this!” Revving up his retro-futuristic jet pack rocket boots, he exploded into a shower of soylent and overly high expectations.

    3. “This is exactly what you get when you rely too much on technology without thinking through the implications that technology has on our rights,” the dour one chided. “I told you all before. What if that had been a government-monitored rocket boot? What if it had been Bluetooth-enabled?”

      “Shut up,” I sighed. “It was. Rocket boots are a little too ‘Nazi Germany’ for us, anyway. We’ll just have to do this the American way.”

      Retrieving my phone, I called us an Uber.

      *Cut to commercial*

      1. *holds decoder ring while eating bowl of Il-logic-o’s

    4. Part One

      Part Two

      Reason doesn’t seem to recognize quotation marks when copied from Google Drive…

      1. Very good. But no SF.

        1. So Big T, you’re saying you want more eyeball bleaching sentences?

          1. Peroxide is less damaging.

  38. Was Buffalo mom jailed over homeschooling decision?

    “I spoke directly to the homeschool coordinator and she told me from this point on my children were officially un-enrolled from school.”

    Things took a turn when she says a week later, Child Protective Services called, wondering why her kids weren’t in school.

    “I told them that my kids were homeschooled now and that I could furnish the documents if they need to see them.”

    Thinking everything was fine, Harris says she went on with her homeschooling, but then, less than a month later she says she was confronted by CPS workers and police. According to Harris, they told her they had a court order to take her children and when she told them no, she was arrested for obstruction.

    She says she hasn’t seen her kids in three weeks, and they’ve been in a foster institution.

    1. That which you cannot ban can still be regulated out of existence. Make home schooling hard enough and subject anyone that doesn’t meet every standard no matter how absurd to criminal child neglect charges and there won’t be many home schooled children.

      1. True enough, but the lady’s hand scribbled note stating her intent didn’t help her cause at all.

        1. WTF???

          1. She could right it in crayon on a bar napkin and I’d still support her decision. Just pointing out optics.

            1. Never give the state an easy excuse to screw with you.

            2. The media loves stories like that “look at this crazy negligent mom, this is why homeschooling is bad!”
              Ignoring the fact that her kids were doing poorly in their school and she wanted to help them. So let’s put them in foster care. That’s always great for kids

              1. Other than slapping the hand-written note at the top, the article seems to be taking a neutral tone.

                But wow this is infuriating. Filed for later reference to ignorant friends.

    2. State-run leftist “education” is so good, it’s mandatory.

  39. Leftist violence is okay against people who disagree with them. Check your privilege if you are against it!

    Listen, racist: they’re on to you. You are such an existential threat to America that hunting you down and lynching you is nothing more than “pre-emptive” self defense and therefor perfectly justifiable.

    You have no one to blame but your own damn racist self.

  40. To fill my goddamn comm credit I’m taking a class which may as well be intro to communism. The rot I had to sit through yesterday would have been infuriating if it hadn’t been so laughably facile. Some of the highlights: the American justice system is awful and racist because Norway’s is so much more progressive. When asked about their rates of criminality, the instructor waved off the question by claiming that recidivism is so much lower. I looked it up: America is an astonishingly violent place relative to northern Europe. Not that it mattered, because the thrust of her argument is that Sweden’s crime rate is so much lower because their prisons have music classes and are located “close to nature.” How does one even begin forming a response to such a stupid comparison? What does she think the crime rate is among Swedish immigrants to America?

    The United States is “individualistic,” empowering whites, Christians, and men over others. The rich control the country, and are never punished for their crimes. It is a “masculine” country, emphasizing “traditional sex roles,” unlike feminine countries, “in which people, regardless of sex, are expected to assume a variety of roles based on the circumstances and their own choices.” She didn’t offer any comparisons, but the lecture was shot through with disdain for American culture (that vast, unbroken national monoculture of ours) and her preference for “collectivist” nations, none of which she cared to name.

    1. If it’s not too late you might try transferring to a different professor. I did that once for a US History course to escape a dogmatic liberal. It made a big difference

      1. I would but I’m kinda wanting to see if I can sleep with her. She’s a petite little thing and not much older than I am, reminds me of an ex, and doesn’t appear to be married.

        1. You’ll end up in a Title IX hearing.

          She’ll accuse you of being heterosexual, among other crimes against humanity.

          Run away!

          1. In truth I think it’s a valuable experience. It’s not a prestigious university and the social justice activism is pretty minimal, probably because it’s a poorer crowd and social justice seems to be the hobbyhorse of upper-class kids. So I might as well see it in action while I can.

        2. Wouldn’t it be easier to sleep with her if you weren’t taking the class? *scratches head*

      2. I can second this from experience as well. It’s well worth a bit of effort to avoid a semester with a bad professor.

      3. I once showed up for a “political economy” class. The professor walked in with a hammer and sickle lapel pin and hat that read “Hope and Change”. After he was passed out the syllabus I confirmed that it wasn’t just a tasteless joke and I walked out.

        1. Funny how popular collectivism is within a crowd that, for the most part, doesn’t have to worry about economics.

          1. The alarming thing that some big cheese in the political science department thought an avowed communist was the most qualified person to analyze and teach about political economy. I realize that there is a Marxian school of thought within that field, but it also happens to be the most widely discredited school of thought in basically all things since as it turns out communists are pretty much always wrong about everything they deign to speak about.

            1. But then again, “political science” is basically the Marxist’s stand-in for anything resembling actual economics so they tend to gravitate towards those departments.

    2. her preference for “collectivist” nations, none of which she cared to name.

      Probably never visited any of them either.

  41. Someone paid almost $100,000 for a Cheeto that looks like Harambe, for obvious reasons.

    http://www.cnbc.com/2017/02/07…..00000.html

    Checkbooks out for Harambe!

    If you find a Cheeto that looks like Donald Trump, god only knows what it might be worth.

    1. I think someone bid 100k, but I’m not sure that anyone has actually paid it.

  42. Mrs. Clinton Is Not the Future, and neither are her illiterate slogans

    Mrs. Clinton’s remarks were remarkable for one line: “The future is female.”

    That line caught the attention of Le Figaro, which breathlessly headlined a report: Hillary Clinton: “Oui, l’avenir est f?minin!” It is likely that the editors at Le Figaro are better-read than Mrs. Clinton is and recognized the sentiment from the contemporary French novelist Michel Houellebecq, who used the line in his dystopian novel The Elementary Particles.

    She ain’t no Houellebecq girl, no she ain’t no Houellebecq girl.

    I suppose it is just barely possible that Mrs. Clinton used “The Future Is Female” in tribute to radical feminists in the Age of Nixon, when she was first getting her real start in politics, and goodness knows that all those years of enduring marriage to Bill Clinton must fill one with a certain aspirational longing vis-?-vis the whole touchy subject of lesbian separatism. That she has been thinking about the works of Michel Houellebecq and the funny professional problem of how one would go about marketing human extinction is even more unlikely. (Though if ever there was a really convincing ad campaign for human extinction, it was Mrs. Clinton’s 2016 presidential effort.)

    1. The best part of the day always is waking up to an angry (yet utterly correct) Kevin D. Williamson column…

      …he’ll one day be the Greatest Angry Old Man Ever.

  43. A judge sentenced teens accused of racist vandalism to read more literature.

    Mein Kampf?

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