A.M. Links: Today Is Obama's Last Full Day as President, Rick Perry Confirmation Hearings Begin, George H.W. Bush in 'Stable Condition'

• 

  C-SPAN

  Today is Barack Obama's last full day as president. Donald Trump will be inaugurated tomorrow.

• "Washington will turn into a virtual fortress ahead of Donald Trump's presidential inauguration on Friday as the U.S. capital braces for more than a quarter-million protesters expected during the Republican's swearing-in."
• Confirmation hearings begin today for former Texas Gov. Rick Perry, Trump's nominee to head the Department of Energy.
• Former President George H.W. Bush is reportedly in "stable condition" in the intensive care unit at Houston Methodist Hospital.
• At least 30 people are missing after an avalanche buried a hotel in the Abruzzo region of central Italy.
• At least 50 firefighters have died battling a massive fire at a high-rise building in Tehran, Iran.

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Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Today is Barack Obama's last full day as president. Donald Trump will be inaugurated tomorrow.

THERE'S STILL TIME! Congress, judges, celebrities... MAKE ANOTHER VIDEO!

[straffinrun]

The difference will be black and white.

[commodious is fated to pretend]

The difference will be black and orange.

[Citizen X]

Orange is the new black?

[straffinrun]

There it is. Couldn't find it. Well done.

[Swiss Servator]

JOE BIDEN CAN INVOKE THE VOTING RIGHTS ACT MARTIAL LAW CLAUSE!!!!!!

/prog

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

I heard that there were going to be celebrities at the inauguration!

You know who else had celebrities at their inauguration?

[Rich]

Every U.S. President evah?

[straffinrun]

Martin Sheen?

[The Fusionist]

George Washington, because he *was* a celebrity.

[Free Society]

Arguably the best self-promoter of his day. A string of military defeats and some stolen credit from Horatio Gates and next thing you know he's Cinncinatus.

[John DeWitt]

AND he managed to do it while still presenting the necessary air of disinterestedness in the whole thing.

[Free Society]

"No really, I shouldn't be president, I'm no politician..."

*shakes hand, kisses baby*

[Mainer2]

i heard that motherfucker had like... 20 goddam dicks

[Citizen X]

6 foot 20, weighed a fucking ton.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Hello.

"Today is Barack Obama's last full day as president."

/wipes tear...of joy.

[commodious is fated to pretend]

Whatever you say about the man, however much you differ with his politics, you do have to admit... it's been a time.

[Suthenboy]

At least he had an ethos?

[Elspeth Flashman]

+1 shut the F*ck up, Donnie.

[Monty Crisco]

Remember when the media and all the liberal elite (and OUR BETTERS) scolded us repeatedly to accept the consequences of a legitimate election and that the result was the result regardless of who won?

Yeah, this is why I would like to feed every fucking hypocritical prog into a fucking woodchipper....feet first.

[Krabappel]

CNN did air a segment stating that if someone killed Trump and Pence and Obama and Biden that someone in Obama's cabinet could become President. *wink*

[John DeWitt]

Did CNN just publish spoilers for that NBC show?

[Monty Crisco]

That's that new civility the progs have been talking about!

[Gadfly]

That's actually a really stupid thing for CNN to say, as not only is it morbid speculation but it is factually incorrect. Third in line for succession is Paul Ryan, Speaker of the House, and fourth in line is Orrin Hatch, President pro tempore of the Senate, so they would have to go too before any of Obama's lackeys got to assume control.

[Krabappel]

I think they included Paul Ryan as one of the victims of this hypothetical terrorist attack.

[Scarecrow Repair & Chippering]

Better yet, Obama should resign a day early so Biden could be President #45 and ruin all Trump's inaugural merchandise.

[Swiss Servator]

I would applaud that.

[thom]

If Obama resigns and then Biden resigns, then Ryan would be the President for only a few hours, which would, in turn, force him to resign his seat in Congress.

[Bee Tagger]

Donald Trump will be inaugurated tomorrow.

Not if he does something super embarrassing on Twitter, today.

[Swiss Servator]

As if THAT would ever happen.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

277) I've noticed in the debate over Betsy Devos's confirmation for Secretary of Education that a lot of liberal commenters claim charter schools don't seem to have much effect on test score. The implication there, of course, is that if charter schools aren't raising test scores, then the only reason for them is ideological (as if not wanting to sending your kid to a government propaganda school isn't itself a valid reason for charters and vouchers!).

But I can think of all kinds of non-ideological reasons to send your kid to a charter skill that wouldn't show up in test scores. Standardized tests aren't the ultimate arbiter of knowledge. There are plenty of job and life skills a charter school might teach that a public school wouldn't?discipline, or teamwork, or economics, or entrepreneurialism, or specialized instruction in the arts, music, drama. Foreign languages. Engineering. Or, maybe, just maybe, even if your kid doesn't learn anything extra, it's worthwhile sending your kid to a charter school if he or she simply likes it better than the local public school.

[Citizen X]

But test scores are the easiest metric to use as lipstick on this bureaucratic pig.

[John DeWitt]

Unless those test scores show a lot of failing students in public schools, in which case those standardized tests shouldn't be equated to job performance of the teachers.

[Citizen X]

In that case, the metric indicates that those teachers/schools need more money.

[Private Chipperbot]

Our kids go to a charter school and have access to so many more programs it's silly. They have STEM camps, are part of a small nature preserve (hell, my 12 yr old daughter is in charge of the fish farm where they are breeding and selling food varieties), arts & theater programs, etc. They get so much more than what the local publics offer.

[Trshmnstr, Grump Apprentice]

my 12 yr old daughter is in charge of the fish farm where they are breeding and selling food varieties

That's really cool! In public school they probably just watched a documentary about how climate change is killing all the fish and then spent the rest of class with "free time" as the teacher nursed a hangover.

[Krabappel]

That sounds like all the public schools I went to.

I took both Chemistry and Physics in high school and the teacher sat behind a wall where he couldn't even see us, much less attempt to teach us anything. We played cards almost every day. A kid smoked a joint in the back of the class one day.

We did watch The China Syndrome one day in class, though. Jane Fonda taught us about the dangers of nuclear power!

[Evan from Evansville]

...Stood behind a wall where he couldn't even see you?

I have to know...how the hell does that work? Was it when of them newfangled robot teacher droids?

And this is slightly apropos! Your handle reminds me of one of my (of thousands) favorite scenes from Good Simpsons, when Skinner and Krabappel are feuding and the teachers are about to go on strike. This kids can hear the two fighting for control over the intercom and Skinner ends up with it and just deadpans:

"Attention. This is an emergency broadcast, all is well in the school, my authority as principal is total."

[Krabappel]

One side of the class had a big stack of bookshelves and his desk was behind it. The other side of the class was the lab stations where I believe the kid used a Bunsen burner to light his joint. Nearby that was a row of computers where kids would play Command & Conquer Red Alert (that should date me).

I played a lot of cards those two years (that didn't even include the cards I played in 4 years of Japanese class).

My first semester at college the professor told us we'd review some basics in Chem 111, like ions - my response: "wtf is an ion". -_-;

[SimonD]

I was lucky. My high school science teacher was a retired Marine Colonel. We learned chemistry and physics, good and hard. He was also an exceptionally nice person, as long as you were making an effort.

[AceDroman]

The public high school that I attended was next door to the "vocational education center" where mine and two other nearby high schools could take elective courses like electricity, carpentry, gas and diesel engines, horticulture and wait for it...floral arranging.

[Krabappel]

Carpentry and horticulture would have been awesome.

[commodious is fated to pretend]

And, ironically, only floral arranging requires a government license.

[Monty Crisco]

Standardized tests of public school kid have been flat for 40 years. So why does the Dept of Education even EXIST?
That's a better question....

[BigT]

So why does the Dept of Education even EXIST?

Um, let me guess. To protect tens of thousands of union jobs? To fill Democrat coffers with donations? To keep thousands of useless bureaucrats off the streets and away from our kids? To provide a place to put campaign donors kids to 'work'? All of the above and more?

[Monty Crisco]

"All of the above and more?" is the correct answer....

[jester]

Because educating is a power explicitly given to the Federal Government in the Constitution?

[Tyler.C]

The biggest thing is that charter schools get that at a fraction of the cost.

[Jerryskids]

That's right. Plus another flaw in the analysis is that they average the scores - the charter school kids on average don't do much better than the public schools on average but the charter school kids aren't being taken out of the good schools, they're being taken out of the bad schools. If your kid's doing well at a good public school, you're not agitating to take him out and stick him in a charter school. "Average" is a big improvement for the kids taken out of lousy public schools and stuck in the average charter school.

[R C Dean]

That would be an interesting analysis - compare charter school performance, even on a weighted basis, with the performance of public schools in the districts where their students come from.

Harder, of course, than a brute force average.

Even on the "average" approach, what are the comparable ranges. If charter schools shorten the tails on their bell curves, the average would be the same, but there could be an interesting discussion about whether that's a good result.

[benracer1]

R C Dean, there are all sorts of studies making those comparisons. Check out http://www.jaypgreene.com for school choice info, studies, and just for fun stuff.

[R C Dean]

Cool. I'll have to give it a look.

[Elspeth Flashman]

I don't understand half of "education-speak" as I call it. I was invited to attend a superintendant's council, which is like the head of each school's PTO, and an administrator from each building. We get together once a term to talk . . . and 3/4 of it is filled with education-speak about metrics, etc.

Everyone sounds so concerned and all, which is nice, but this is the top performing district on this side of the state, because the district actually wants high literacy, and almost 96% of students attend college, and almost no drop out rate.

[UnCivilServant]

Tuesday, a Buick decided it was time for me to get a new car. I was planning to keep the Focus until it stopped working. Well, a snapped axle qualifies as "stopped working".

So I've been looking at cars. The first one I saw was the rental, an Elantra. At first it was prohibatively sluggish until I discovered that you could turn off the 'EcoBoost' and get normal performance from the thing. The switch for the wipers is the exact reverse of the way it is on Fords. The darn thing does not have an alert to say you left the lights on. The blind spots are bigger, a third of the reaview mirror is taken up with car interior and the field of view through the back is tiny. Also the speedometer is sunk at the back a pipe that blocks the vital 40-80MPH zone. It did not sell me on Hyundai.

I also took at look at what Ford had out these days. I was not impressed by the Fusion. Though it objectively had more interior room than my Focus did, it felt claustrophobic because of the layout. On the road, it was unremarkable. I did test drive the C-MAX. That car felt heavy in terms of accelleration (but not so much on braking). Probably because it's hauling a whole second engine around. In terms of fit, it was very comfortable to sit in and operate, though an inch or two larger steering wheel might have been a better choice. I actually rather liked it as a vehicle to operate.

[Sayles]

So, the moral of your story is, that despite many many years of life, you're not successful enough to afford cars that aren't utter garbage.

This has been a review of UCS's shitty reviews of shitty cars.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Just get the Focus fixed. Mad Max-style.

[UnCivilServant]

But then I'd be imitating Lord H. I have to respect his turf.

[Aloysious]

Good idea. I vote for the Gigahorse.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

The Focus ST is a lot of fun, like my Cobalt SS.

But you have to like driving a manual.

[Certified Public Asshat]

Hey I had a 2003 Focus back in the day, my front axle snapped too.

[UnCivilServant]

Did it break on its own, or did a Buick help it along?

[Certified Public Asshat]

It always seemed to be a bit off for awhile, but it officially snapped when I was getting tires put on.

[Citizen X]

These masturbation euphemisms are getting pretty abstract.

[Juice]

Focus ST

[Lord Humungus]

^this^

[UnCivilServant]

It was unclear if that was a recommendation or what.

[Certified Public Asshat]

If you are going for reliable compact, buy a Civic and move on.

[Lord Humungus]

The ST is on my short list for my next car. Probably not enough room for me and my 6'4" teenage son but I still want to find out.

[UnCivilServant]

Too little interior room would be a problem for me. I'm 6'3", and if I'm going to be driving something to work every day I want it to be comfortable.

[Lord Humungus]

I'm 6'2" so I feel your pain. Most cars are just plain awful for me. Oddly enough the Accords I've owned ('86, '87, '01) all had great leg room for me. Better than a Grand Marquis.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Have you considered cutting off your shins?

[RBS]

UCS on his way to work.

[straffinrun]

He's not alone then. 6'3" and a Honda Fit. Went from a Cadillac Sedan DeVille to the Fit. Sad!

[Mantis Toboggan, Jr.]

I'm a skoosh under 6'2", and my Kia Soul is very comfortable. It's a really good all-around car.

[Crusty Juggler]

my Kia Soul

Goodness. How many hamsters commenters do we have?

[Yusef Adama]

01 Kia Sephia, 88k
15kia Forte 15k
Both real nice and durable, the 01 is a 5 speed with original clutch,
Yusef the Hamster

[Lord Humungus]

Buy the most Toyota or Lexus you can afford, used of course.

Alternative: Infiniti, Honda, or Acura.

I recently test drove a MY06 Infiniti M35 with 68k miles on it. Very nice car with full leather, real wood trim, and a great 280hp engine. Only $10k. I would pony up a little more and get a newer one since it has more transmission cogs and even more hp.

Or if you want a car of a more frugal nature and no driving dynamics - a Corolla or 4-banger Camry.

[Lord Humungus]

Or a Civic or a 4cyl Accord. The V6 Accords (2-door coupe with the 6-speed manual for me) are nice too.

[UnCivilServant]

I focused* my attention on Ford because I've had good experience with them so far.

(*no punning intended)

[Lord Humungus]

I've owned three Ford products in my life and they were ... just okay. I put them in the middle of the pack for reliability and quality. The ones I owned just lack character and driving dynamics - but I never had anything like a Mustang or a Focus ST.

The Mustang V6 convertible I rented two years was really nice though.

[kinnath]

I have had excellent experiences with Nissan.

[Krabappel]

I have one of the new 2016 Honda Civics and so far it has been great. 175 hp with the turbo feels a lot more powerful than the 150 hp Civic it replaced.

[SFC B]

We have a Fusion Titanium AWD. Love it. I'm 6'5, 250# and I can fit comfortably in the backseat as long as another person under 6' is in front of me.

[R C Dean]

I've had good luck, very good luck, with Toyotas and Nissans.

[GSL in E]

Very satisfied Mazda owner here. Not sure what kind of deal you could get on one of their smaller SUVs (e.g., CX-5), but it'd be ideal for your legroom needs.

[Shpip]

Mrs. Shpip and I were Toyota people for a couple of decades, but we're both driving German right now. MB GLK250 for her, 981 Boxster S for me. Works for us as DINKs. Had a Genesis Coupe prior to the Porsche, and was quite happy with it. Same reaction from my friends who had the Genesis sedan. Even my mechanic admits that Hyundai is making some decent stuff, at least from the Sonata on up.

That being said, if you want reliability, stoplight to stoplight zippiness, great gas mileage, and some luxe, look around cargurus or edmunds for a Mercedes-Benz E250.

[Bee Tagger]

Confirmation hearings begin today for former Texas Gov. Rick Perry, Trump's nominee to head the Department of Energy.

Better than Britta Perry since she's the worst.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Katie Perry wood be nice, if I can watch her with the volume turned down.

[commodious is fated to pretend]

Seated and bouncing.

[BigT]

But not as good as William 'The Refrigerator' Perry. He was a beast!

[Fist of Etiquette]

...as the U.S. capital braces for more than a quarter-million protesters expected during the Republican's swearing-in.

So the same amount of litter as Obama's inauguration to cleanup after.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

And most of the same people causing it.

[UnCivilServant]

For years my office overlooked the park where people would congregate to protest the state government. There was a distinct pattern in the state the place was left after the protests. The more "free shit for me" the policy, the worse state it was in. The pro-RKBA groups were the cleanest.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

Don't you work in Albany? Isn't the plaza outside the State Capital famous for being barren, windswept, and devoid of humans?

[UnCivilServant]

yes, and yes.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

barren, windswept, and devoid of humans?

Doesn't this describe all of upstate NY?

[UnCivilServant]

Not at all.

There are a lot of forested areas too!

[Rhywun]

Ah, yes, sixties-style "urban renewal". Downtown Rochester got a lot of that "help" too, if not quite as totalitarian-looking as Albany.

[BigT]

Remember the horrible mess left after that huge DC TEA party rally? Just like the Obama inauguration.

[Michael]

Quarter million just sounds so much bigger than a few hundred thousand.

[Tyler.C]

1/64th of a million protestors showed up today

[LoneWaco]

45 million lbs. of protesters.

[Mantis Toboggan, Jr.]

Former President George H.W. Bush is reportedly in "stable condition" in the intensive care unit at Houston Methodist Hospital.

Bill Clinton will be in that same hospital twice as long.

[straffinrun]

Checking out the phillies?

[Domestic Dissident]

Just a little over 24 hours left now. I can only imagine how copiously the tears must be flowing in Reason's D.C. headquarters.

[Juvenile Bluster]

I'm starting to wonder whether this is actually another Shriek troll account.

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

The Shrieking Tulpa; A Journey Through Paranoia and Rabble-rousing, by The Commentariat.

[John Titor]

Nope, he's just his Mirror Universe counterpart.

[Citizen X]

Mikey is Red Shreek. It is known.

[Citizen X]

Welp, you do have quite an imagination, Mikey. Scientists are still trying to figure it out.

[Lord Humungus]

First species officially named after Donald Trump

The newly discovered insect, now known as Neopalpa donaldtrumpi, looks strikingly similar to the politician, with its bright blonde crown of 'hair' and beady eyes.

Its habitat is Southern California in the US and Baja California in Mexico ? whereas the real Donald Trump prefers to reside in New York, although he will soon be relocated to the White House.

[Rich]

HAHAHAHAHAAA!!

[Volren]

Dr Vazrick Nazari came up with the name, hoping that it could attract publicity to the moth, which is an endangered species.

Is that really the reason?

I don't see much of a resemblance btw

[BigT]

Obama had lots of species named after him - all parasites, of course.

[Free Society]

"beady eyes"? I get that it's generally a pejorative descriptor, but the creature at least has the opposite of beady eyes, they're rather large proportionally to the head, which categorically excludes them from the term "beady". SICK BURN THOUGH! YOU GOT HIM REAL GOOD METRO.CO.UK!

[R C Dean]

That's funny. The "beady" eyes was a nice touch, just so everyone knows the scientists are goodthinkful.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Confirmation hearings begin today for former Texas Gov. Rick Perry, Trump's nominee to head the Department of Energy.

Hopefully he remembers the department's name.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

I picture his typical day on the job there being somewhat like Homer's at the nuclear power plant.

[Mantis Toboggan, Jr.]

+1 Trump walks in, Perry frantically sits up and starts pressing random buttons

[Fist of Etiquette]

"That's one of your organ banks from Cabinet Post 7G."

[Free Society]

It's okay, he started wearing thick framed glasses so we know he's smart now. I think it'd be great if he just shows up at the wrong department and shuts it down.

[Bee Tagger]

"Washington will turn into a virtual fortress

Hey, that's what I call my weblog!

[Swiss Servator]

Mine is more like a virtual pillow fort.

[Rich]

virtual pillow fort

*** applauds ***

[BigT]

Sounds Surrealistic!

[Crusty Juggler]

She's been a bad, bad girl. She's been careless with a delicate man, and it's sad, sad world when a girl can break a boy just because she can. Hear Fiona Apple's Scathing Anti-Trump Chant for Women's March

Surprisingly, the chant isn't too bad. It starts slow but really picks up by the end.

[Mantis Toboggan, Jr.]

Fiona Apple is still alive? I'll be damned.

[SugarFree]

We are all surprised.

But damn... dat video for "Criminal."

[Crusty Juggler]

I just finished watching it for the second time this morning.

[RBS]

Still would.

[Juice]

Those tattoos. ..ugh.

[John Titor]

If she did them herself, they're pretty good. If not that's terrible.

[Suthenboy]

Yes it is....terrible I mean.

[commodious is fated to pretend]

Scathing Anti-Trump Chant for Women's March

That'll learn 'im.

[Suthenboy]

Stay classy leftists. Never change.

[Lord Humungus]

Virgin Birth: Zebra Shark Has Babies Without Mating

Sure, she used to have a mate at the Reef HQ Aquarium in Townsville, Australia. The pair even had several litters before they were separated in 2012.

But Leonie had been living apart from males for the past few years, so her keepers were surprised when she laid eggs that produced three baby sharks in April 2016. Leonie could be the first shark ever observed to make the switch from sexual to asexual reproduction.

"We thought she could be storing sperm; but when we tested the pups and the possible parent sharks using DNA fingerprinting, we found they only had cells from Leonie," said University of Queensland biologist Christine Dudgeon, who described the case in the journal Scientific Reports.

something second something coming of Jesus

[Swiss Servator]

As a shark?!

UNREPENTANT SINNERS, STAY OUT OF THE WATER!

[Episteme]

The shores of the Galilee will never be safe again...

*Peter steps out of the boat to take tentative steps on water, unaware of what lurks just below*

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

There was no coming of Jesus, that's the point. Doy.

[Free Society]

*There was no coming of Joseph.

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

From one having been come to another having been come, I thank ye.

[straffinrun]

We thought she could be storing sperm

They didn't call her Jaws for nothing.

[Pope Jimbo]

Hmmmm....

So a Jawish mother has a virgin birth.

I'm sure the Jaws will also be blamed when Chinese fisherman cut off the Jesus shark's fins.

[straffinrun]

Mary shark's fins. You must have one of those Unitarian bibles.

[Swiss Servator]

*rises to applaud*

[Pope Jimbo]

NOOOOOOOOOOO

I live for narrowed gazes across a smoky room from you Swiss. Your approval is like reverse viagra for me.

[Swiss Servator]

Sorry, friendo. Funny is funny.

[Free Society]

I haven't had any narrowed gays in so long that life has lost it's flavor. The rejection is the hardest part.

[spqr2008]

So that's why all the Christians have a fish on their car!

[Swiss Servator]

Nice.

*applauds*

[BigT]

OMG! Just imagine how many lawyers we'll have in a few years!

[R C Dean]

I assume the baby sharks are clones, and thus all female?

[Eternal Blue Sky]

So do you think Shark Jesus can swim through land??

[Swiss Servator]

"Landshark"

[BigT]

Mudshark!

[Lord Humungus]

People are being injected with younger blood to see if it makes a difference

Jesse Karmazin, a medical graduate, has launched a start up called Ambrosia, that is asking people to pay $8,000 (?6,500) to be injected with 1.5 litres of plasma from a donor aged between 16 and 25.

It sounds a bit grim but the former intern at the National Institute on Aging has watched dozens of procedures performed in the past and believes young blood could work like a drug.

He told Business Insider: 'Some patients got young blood and others got older blood, and I was able to do some statistics on it, and the results looked really awesome.

[Citizen X]

Some patients got young blood and others got older blood, and I was able to do some statistics on it, and the results looked really awesome.

So he scienced the shit out of it?

[Swiss Servator]

He fucking loves science!

[Kurmudgeonly Kristen]

results looked really awesome.

This is what I look for when reviewing scientific research. Awesome results. You're gonna love the results. They're YOOG.

[Private Chipperbot]

Yeah. I'm not letting anyone describe results as AWESOME to inject me with anything.

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

"The Junior Doctor's Strike in the United States has reached its twelfth month in a row, which continues to impact the wait times in emergency rooms around the country. We caught up to a Junior Doctor last night and got their opinion."

"You know, it just, like, sucks, that like, we can't go out and golf like grandad, and that we have work these like, horrible, terrible hours. I didn't go to college to be poor."

[Episteme]

Fucking baby boomers are about to literally bleed the younger generations?

[BigT]

I showed this to my daughter a few years ago when it first came out - she hasn't asked me to babysit her kids since!

[ant1sthenes]

Uh, you're supposed to bathe in it, morons. Least that what my aunt Elizabeth tells me.

[The Fusionist]

Putting the Bath in Bathori.

[The Fusionist]

I mean B?thory

[Free Society]

This is why I raid the dumpsters at the abortion clinics. Stem cell smoothies and fetus burgers have taken the wrinkles off of my beautiful face.

[Sumio Mondo, Jr.]

James O'Keeffe would have exposed you for doing so if Robby Soave hadn't been there to expose him.

[Free Society]

But who will expose the exposer?

[commodious is fated to pretend]

Not all heroes wear capes. Some of them wear trenchcoats, and nothing else.

[Citizen X]

Crusty doesn't call himself a hero, though.

[Swiss Servator]

We do, however. We do.

[AddictionMyth]

God I wish obozo would just leave already.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

It's a little late in the game to be coming up with new derogatory nicknames for the man, isn't it?

[Swiss Servator]

Mike M/DD has the honor of being the Lightworker Nicknamer in Chief.

[Mantis Toboggan, Jr.]

Shut up, Swish Pervo-whore!

[Citizen X]

Leave S'Piss alone, Man-Kiss Mommabaggin Jerkier!

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

(Do me! Do me!)

[Mantis Toboggan, Jr.]

Fuck off, Asshole-licks Gay Dozen!

[straffinrun]

I plan on pulling a Citizen Kane and mumbling "Block Insane Yomama" on my deathbed.

[Citizen X]

Jesus. I'd rather my last words were about a fucking sled.

[Bee Tagger]

more than a quarter-million protesters expected during the Republican's swearing-in."

That's a good point. Trump is basically like the Republican's version of Al Swearengen.

[Fist of Etiquette]

#cocksucker

[WTF]

"You lie to me again Perry, and I'll murder you where you sit."

[Free Society]

So he's popular with Asian business owners? Woo, Swearengen, cocksucker.

[Drake]

Oscar Lopez Rivera is Timothy McVey with a better PR team, you sad, deluded, murderer-worshiping idiot.

- Iowahawk

[UnCivilServant]

And a less capable bombmaker.

[commodious is fated to pretend]

Had to be better than the Weatherman idiots, at least.

[Juvenile Bluster]

How the fuck is he getting lauded for pardoning an actual, unrepentant terrorist? How the fuck is Lin-Manuel fucking Miranda getting lauded for saying he'll give a special performance of Hamilton for a terrorist?

[Crusty Juggler]

Cats and dogs are living together, JB.

[PBR Streetgang]

So the terrorists actually have won.

[Citizen X]

Well, some of them, anyway.

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

He's only terrorist to the majority dude. Get with it.

[Rufus The Monocled]

He won the popular vote.

If leaders were selected this way is there any doubt progs would elect the first socialist-killer that came running?

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

My intended reference was to the Puerto Rican political activist, Oscar Lopez "Burritito" Rivera Chingon.

[Rufus The Monocled]

I know. Was just making a wider point.

[Free Society]

I wonder why they call him El Burrito. Sounds racist.

[ant1sthenes]

People always wondered whether Obama was a secret commie, or a secret Muslim, but really he's always just been a fan of terrorism regardless of the source.

[Free Society]

I was right all along, he's a commumuslim.

[Suthenboy]

It's the left JB. They worship Castro FFS. They loved flying down to Venezuela to suck some Chavez cock. They are apologists for mass murdering monsters. What I cant figure out is why they chose Hitler as the one mass murdering monster to hate. Did they just choose him randomly?

[Free Society]

What I cant figure out is why they chose Hitler as the one mass murdering monster to hate. Did they just choose him randomly?

Because 1) he violated the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact that kept the peace between the two most exemplary forms of socialism and 2) he lost the war and his government fell in disgrace, turning him into the low hanging fruit of historical virtue signalling.

[R C Dean]

That, and he killed a lot of Jews. Proggies hate them some Jews.

[Free Society]

So did the communists, they just cast a wider net as they did. The fact that the communists were *less discriminatory* with their murdering can only be taken as a relatively good thing if you were the type of person to get a boner thinking about egalitarianism.

[BigT]

Even more, the Germans were very industrial and organized in their killing. The left behind some incredible killing factories. The Russians did their killing all over the place, so there were no huge piles of bodies to find or industrial killing sites. And, of course, the Russians were our allies for at least a few years.

[neoteny]

why they chose Hitler as the one mass murdering monster to hate

He wasn't hated by the left between 23 August 1939 and 22 June 1941.

[Lord Humungus]

'Aids-curing' pastor claims he removed woman's 'vaginal warts' with the power of his holy shoe

Faith healers are no strangers to outlandish claims.

But this South African pastor stepped things up a notch - by purporting to have cured a woman's 'vaginal warts' with his shoe.

Bizarre footage shows Zendile Andries November asking a woman in his congregation about the 'pimples'.

The Victorious Faith Ministries pastor - who also claims he can cure Aids with the power of prayer - then removes his shoe and hands to the woman, who places it between her thighs.

That's how she got the warts in the first place...

[db]

The Victorious Faith Ministries pastor - who also claims he can cure Aids with the power of prayer

Will he put his mouth where his money is?

[Anomalous]

Obligatory.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Holy Shoe.

Good Euphemism and Great Band Name.

[Bee Tagger]

Today is Barack Obama's last full day as president.

He should totally do a work-from-home day tomorrow.

[The Fusionist]

"Finally, now I get to spend time playing golf!"

[BigT]

"I can finally kick that old bat (MIL) out of the house!"

[Swiss Servator]

His wife would beat him senseless if he tried.

[Mike Laursen]

He has to come in in the afternoon to turn in his badge.

[Swiss Servator]

"And we need the key to the Executive Washroom"

[Lord Humungus]

Woman on benefits says she can't get a job because she's too beautiful

Marie Buchan, from Selly Oak in Birmingham, dreams of becoming a mechanic but is unable to find a job because men keep trying it on with her.

The 37-year-old, who is a mother-of-eight, said when she is approached by garages to conduct work experience they are often 'looking for something more' and 'not really after [her] working there'.

Calling some of the men she's met in garages 'dirty big perverts, she told The Daily Star: 'They'll say things like, "What do you do when the kids aren't around, would you fancy going for a drink, would there be anything else you'd like to do in the garage other than work on cars?"

'You've got women in the police force, in the Army, we have the skills, it's just that men see us as sex symbols.'

*mumbles* clown car

[UnCivilServant]

Miss, There are a lot of people who can fix cars. If you've got no work experience in a garage, they're going to go with someone who did inspecitions at Valvoline for a summer before they pick you.

[Mantis Toboggan, Jr.]

I've got a nephew, he'll be 18 in August. He's about 5'9", probably weighs about 160-170, has a heart condition, quit the one job he got right in the middle of his shift. I mentioned his size and the heart condition because he sincerely believes he's going to play football professionally.

He's not nearly as delusional as this woman.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

I was a little confused by the disconnect between the pictures and the words in the article until I realized this was in Britain.

[Drake]

Thank you. I was confused too.

Wouldn't the first step be to attend some sort of vocational school?

[UnCivilServant]

That's crazy talk, they should just let an untrained person with no work experience fix cars.

[Drake]

Nothing says "ready to be a responsible employee" like "former-stripper unmarried mother-of-eight."

[SugarFree]

Yeah. "Too beautiful."

[Citizen X]

Hey, she's a British 8, easy.

[Juice]

A point for each kid.

[WTF]

Hey, she's a British 8, easy.
Also known as a 5.

[Citizen X]

That's on the generous side of the exchange rate, but yeah.

[PBR Streetgang]

She got the crazy eyes

[commodious is fated to pretend]

You're luscious. You're ravishing. I would give up red meat just to get a glimpse of you in a bra. I'm terribly sorry.

[Free Society]

The Daily Mail did an article like this a couple years ago, with a woman complaining about how hard it was for her to be the most beautiful woman in the world. Except the Daily Mail gave way pictures to get the point across of how ugly and therefore how full of shit she was. Found it.

[Monty Crisco]

CLASSIC!!! That's what I was thinking of too!! Hilarious, her PB -like level of DELUSION!!!

[UnCivilServant]

What an unremarkable looking woman.

[Rich]

Today is Barack Obama's last full day as president.

Hitting the links, then?

[Juvenile Bluster]

I really don't want him posting in the Links. He'd probably be worse than Tony.

[Swiss Servator]

*narrows gaze at both of you*

[Rich]

Malia, then?

[Rufus The Monocled]

I can see him pulling an Elon Musk paying people to troll websites that bash him. It would be AWESOME if he did it here.

[Suthenboy]

What makes you think he hasn't?

[Swiss Servator]

Shriek gets just enough for the next coke bender?

[Just a thought not a sermon]

"I really don't want him posting in the Links."

And actual golfers don't really want him on the greens, either.

[Lord Humungus]

Yemen death toll has reached 10,000, UN says

At least 10,000 people have been killed in the war in Yemen, according to the United Nations, which is urging both sides to come together to end nearly two years of conflict.

The UN's humanitarian affairs office said the figure, which is a low estimate, was reached using data from health facilities that have kept track of the victims of the war, which has largely been ignored by the international community.

The figure does not include those recorded by hospitals and health centres as having died, which is likely to be most of the combatants on both sides of the conflict.

[Swiss Servator]

Low estimate?!

I'd say 30K, easy. Probably more.

[Juice]

It has to be north of that even, likely over 50k.

[ant1sthenes]

I have a better idea, how about we give the heirs to the Ottomans carte blanche to stomp the Wahabis into paste, the way they did the last two times.

[Monty Crisco]

"Past results are no guarantee of future returns...."

[ant1sthenes]

I think the string of ISIS-backed terrorist attacks in their country might be souring them on toleration of their more rabid co-religionists.

[spqr2008]

Their problem is that the world would freak if they tried to raise Janissaries again. They were literally children from the Balkans kidnapped and brainwashed into being servants of the Empire, and rarely served in or near their place of birth, to avoid any attachments.

[Swiss Servator]

Release the Bashi-bazouk!

[Hayeksplosives]

That strategy kind of backfired on them when they tried it on young Vlad the Impaler. when he finally got back home to Transylvania, having never converted, he was, shall we say, bitter about the janissary thing. He was a thorn in the Sultan's side for quite a while thereafter.

[Suthenboy]

Does Donald Trump know what his war has done? That this is where his bombs were falling?

[Lord Humungus]

California shows low expectations for Trump, but support for some immigration plans

On Trump's plan to suspend immigration from countries with links to terrorism, a plurality of California voters, 42 percent, said it would make California "better off." That compares to 35 percent who said "worse off," and 23 percent who had no view.

Regarding the effects of Trump's promise to deport illegal immigrants, 44 percent said it would make California "better off,'' 39 percent said worse off,'' and 18 percent undecided, the poll showed.

On Trump's plan to end "sanctuary cities,'' 41 percent expressed support, 36 percent said they were opposed, and 22 percent were undecided. On the president-elect's intention to withdraw federal funding to "sanctuary cities'' like San Francisco and Oakland, 38 percent expressed support, 40 percent were opposed, and 22 percent had no view, the poll showed

[WTF]

n Trump's plan to suspend immigration from countries with links to terrorism, a plurality of California voters, 42 percent, said it would make California "better off." That compares to 35 percent who said "worse off,"

I want to know how in the holy fuck they think this would make California "worse off".

[Free Society]

Cytotoxic has the answer to that riddle I'm sure.

[R C Dean]

Because all immigration has always and everywhere had no downsides whatsoever?

/Shikha OFF

[Palin's Buttplug]

Obama approval hits 60% as end of term approaches

http://www.cnn.com/2017/01/18/.....-orc-poll/

The Bushpigs slunk out of office at 22% amidst a financial crisis, $700 billion bank bailout, and two lost wars. Peanuts lament.

[UnCivilServant]

I confess, I think more highly of him the less I will have to put up with him.

[Mantis Toboggan, Jr.]

My nephew is less delusional than you, too.

[commodious is fated to pretend]

Wow. That's, uh, rough.

And knowing the absurd power of delusional confidence he'll probably do well.

[Rufus The Monocled]

That we still look at polls after what we just saw during the election only points to our retardation.

Well, people like Palin anyway.

I mean, really.

[BigT]

We must consider that the awfulness of Trump and Clinton, and the disgusting campaign did make Obama look good less awful by comparison. Tallest midget. Girl that goes out with her ugliest girlfriend. etc.

[Nikkodemus]

Because we all know those polls are absolutely infallible, right?

[Monty Crisco]

"Reagan left office only slightly more popular than Obama is now. But Reagan also left his party holding more seats than it held when he was elected. The reverse is true of Obama, at every level of government. The public was also much happier with the state of the country when Reagan left office than it is now ."

-Ramesh Ponnuru

[Tyler.C]

So your saying people like him. Not his politics? Like a cult of personality?

[Monty Crisco]

Well, the country sure had better than 2.9% or lower economic growth under Reagan!!

[Suthenboy]

Polls show Hillary Clinton will win in a landslide.

[WTF]

And we can totally trust those polls to reflect reality.

[Chipwooder]

Lament what? The motherfucker is gone today - why would we be lamenting that?

[Lord Humungus]

Toilet roll! Sir Patrick Stewart's surprising new part is revealed as the voice of the 'poop icon' in upcoming The Emoji Movie

His celebrated body of work ranges from the hugely popular Star Trek franchise to his acclaimed on-stage Shakespearean roles.

But Sir Patrick Stewart is set to take on his most surprising role yet for his upcoming movie; a smiling, cartoon pile of poo.

The talented actor, 76, will be voicing the famous emoticon, which will simply be named as Poop, for the animated comedy The Emoji Movie - which will hit cinemas on August 4.

My favorite Patrick Stewart role: Sejanus in I, Claudius

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

Uriel Septim, hands down.

[UnCivilServant]

Who? Oh, the guy who dies in the tutorial.

[John Titor]

Bethesda loves wasting good actors for bad roles. Liam Neeson, terrible performance in Fallout 3, probably due to bad voice coaching. Max von Sydow, Christopher Plummer, Saul Tigh/Michael Hogan, side characters in Skyrim, horribly written.

[Volren]

Bethesda needs to move the budget allocation for hiring name actors to the graphics design team so they can produce characters who look like human beings rather than play-doh men.

Any decent actor they get will be ruined by the fact that their games are not supposed to be plot-driven and their writers are terrible anyway.

[John Titor]

The fact that they're not plot-driven doesn't excuse shitty writing, and it could (and should) improve if they actually had a decent writing staff and actually gave a shit about decent world-building. That's the bigger problem, Bethesda loves giving you the open world, but makes it hollow and uninteresting.

[Eternal Blue Sky]

Hollow and uninteresting, eh??

I bet you don't even know what CHIM is, filthy casual.

[John Titor]

Kirkbride-era Bethesda does not count and you know it, EBS. Just because Bethesda had a guy who knew what he was doing in Morrowind doesn't mean they didn't fail in the last four games they made.

[John Titor]

Best part of the horrible Dune movie.

[UnCivilServant]

I liked the visual style.

[commodious is fated to pretend]

Alejandro Jodorowsky begs to differ.

[UnCivilServant]

He can beg all he likes, he still gets no say in my opinion.

[commodious is fated to pretend]

tbh I have no idea what was his opinion on the film. He seems like a bit of a kook.

[The Fusionist]

They probably had to pay him a pretty penny, which means they anticipate that a lot of people will be watching this movie...o tempora, o mores!

(And HM will come in to correct my Latin)

[straffinrun]

22 ways women are expected to apologize for their existence everyday

According to the results, men are just as likely as women to apologize for perceived wrongdoing ? the difference is that they're less likely to think they've done anything wrong in the first place. If that doesn't describe the patriarchy in a nutshell, I don't know what will.

[Crusty Juggler]

4. If you don't shave your legs, someone will comment on it unfavorably.

No one comments when I do not shave my face.

16. In the summer, women are called out if they don't shave every. Damn. Inch. Of their body.

Again with the shaving?

21. Men's interests and careers always come before a woman's.

Buy a fucking a razor, freak.

[John Titor]

No one comments when I do not shave my face.

Yes, but they're too busy vomiting or running away from the rest of you.

Men's interests and careers always come before a woman's.

My parents are traditionalist Christians and my mom's career always came before my dad's. *progressive heads explode*

[spqr2008]

My mom's career came first after my parents realized that she was going to be a better breadwinner (and she had both of us kids and worked part time throughout those 6 years). She's much better educated than anyone else in our entire family, and my dad's choice to work part time for our city when we reached middle school was a good idea. We made the house so nice that it still sold for almost twice what we paid for it, and he had a lot of time to teach my brother and I how to do a lot of handyman stuff.

[John Titor]

Yep, that's what it tends to come down to, which career is going to make more money.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

4. If you don't shave your legs, someone will comment on it unfavorably.

Over/under on that someone being another woman? imma say 85%.

[Illocust]

1. Nope, you are expected to know when it's appropriate to jabber and when it isn't, but just degree of talking isn't an issue.

2. Again, when and where is important. Is the sixty year old expert in his field talking? Keep your mouth shut and let him finish, you'll notice everyone else in the room doing the same. Are you with friends and you've got the one loud mouth. Interrupt to your heart's content, odds are they'll appreciate someone being able to hold up their half of the conversation for once.

3. My professors thought I walked on water for asking questions during class. Folks older than me at work appreciated it too. Meant I actually gave a shit about my job and how to do it right.

4. Yeah, and?

5. This is an argument based on a study that women can't get by on equal treatment to men, not that they aren't being treated the same. True due to biology, but probably not the authors point.

6. Or is exhibiting leadership considered necessary for being masculine.

7. Not unless you're over fifty. Course you have to no the difference between non-feminine traits and wanting to be a jackass 24/7.

8. You are expected to look like you care about looking professional. Shocker, men are too.

9. If you are never seen without full make up then suddenly stop wearing any, people will notice. If your levels of make up vary regularly, then people will know what you look like under it and not be concerned.

10. Assumes facts not in evidence.

[Illocust]

11. Time and place for everything, and yes we can.

12. Nah, you just don't have a clue how to take up space without fucking over other people (thou shall get out of my way while I'm walking. I don't stop without minimum three steps warning). Don't blame personal problems on your gender.

13. She forgot one. I feel cheated!

14. Uhhhh, hun hate to break it to you, but with this little thing called a period, there is a non insignificant section of the female population that experiences monthly emotions not related to reasonable responses. Also, seriously, have you look at how men are expected to behave. You don't have to do crap for emotional repression.

15. Riggght, and this never happens to men.

16. Pits and legs, or wear jeans and a t-shirt that covers the pits. You can either go through the effort to be attractive or stop bitching that people don't find you attractive.

18. Well from a purely reproductive stand point it is, but why would women have to fake orgasms so much if the men in their lives didn't care if they got off?

19. No, you use minimizing language and want to blame everyone else for it.

20. Sorry honey, being fat isn't a equality cause.

21. Assumes facts not in evidence.

22. Depends, did you actually fuck up, and have you immediately done something to remedy the problem or are you just offering useless platitudes.

[John Titor]

These kinds of articles are always weird to me because they seem to exist in some kind of bizarro world that I'm not a part of.

11 doesn't seem real. I mean, if you want to call me a sexist pig, point out the fact that sometimes I think you get angry over stupid bullshit, but humour you anyway, I.E. a thing men do constantly.

As an advocate for pubic hair 16 makes me raise an eyebrow.

[Citizen X]

Please tell me your business card says "John Titor, Pube Advocate."

[John Titor]

Only after they refused to include my joint Analyst/Therapist title.

[WTF]

13. She forgot one. I feel cheated!

Math is hard!

[Tyler.C]

No math is sexist

[The Fusionist]

"men are just as likely as women to apologize for perceived wrongdoing ? the difference is that they're less likely to think they've done anything wrong in the first place. If that doesn't describe the patriarchy in a nutshell, I don't know what will."

Men feel the need to apologize when they don't think they did anything to apologize for?

And this is a sign that the male sex runs the world?

Maybe the men to whom these other men are constantly apologizing are running the world.

[Gadfly]

Maybe the men to whom these other men are constantly apologizing are running the world.

In my experience, the bulk of the apologies given by men who think they've done nothing wrong are given to women, not other men.

[Trshmnstr, Grump Apprentice]

Twas the joke.

[The Fusionist]

Yeah, neither scenario implies a Margaret Atwood style man-ocracy.

(and even Atwood only posited her dystopia as coming about in the wake of a nuclear war)

[Tyler.C]

So the patriarchy is that men have learned that they have to pretend to apologize to live with women?

[Citizen X]

That's not even the patriarchy. The patriarchy is that women (at least the ones in the author's imagination) feel bad.

[SugarFree]

1. We're not supposed to talk too much, which is usually defined as "talking more than a man."

Stop apologizing and just shut up.

[Tyler.C]

They want en l equality? Hey the message across in three same number of words as men.

[Tyler.C]

Stupid mobile phone.

[Citizen X]

One of my favorite studies counted words used by third-graders on a playground. It discovered that girls used about 12,000 words a day. Boys used about 5,000, fully half of which were sound effects.

[Jerryskids]

"Use your words" is not generally an admonition directed at little girls fighting on the playground. See, a boy understands that "You've hurt my feelings and damaged my self-esteem by taking my truck and I would like you to return it, please" can be more efficiently expressed by a short sharp kick to the nads. It's the male version of "empowerment".

[Anomalous]

The author is pretty damn sorry.

[Tyler.C]

You know I think we could get a list of 22 things that are unfair to men that we could bitch about really fast.

1. When I go to any public place that might have kids I have to make it clear that I have kids of my own there, or suffer looks of suspicion.

2. Boys in school at treated like they are mentally handicapped if they don't act like girls.

3. "Men's" hobbies are often looked on as wastes of time. (Video games are not much different than fictional novels).

....

[Trshmnstr, Grump Apprentice]

4. Using our strength to solve a problem is seen as aggressive and hostile.

5. We're seen as emotionless because our emotional inertia is much higher than women's.

6. We're depicted as idiots in popular culture, especially when we are fathers.

[Trshmnstr, Grump Apprentice]

7. Removing ourselves from a hostile situation is either seen as sissy or "avoiding our problems" based on the context

8. We're fully expected to miss family events for work more often than women.

9. I've we're doing anything seen as remotely feminine, we're considered gay. Whether that's cooking/baking, spending time on our appearance, having a very close friend, enjoying certain types of drinks, etc.

[Hail Rataxes]

So...you too are against the patriarchy and recognize that traditional gender roles are oppressive?

[Trshmnstr, Grump Apprentice]

Lol no, I'm good at replicating the ticky-tack style of the idiot feminists' bitch lists. I'm a complementarian, so I completely understand and accept that men and women are different and society treats them so.

[Hail Rataxes]

I'll remember in future to read all such complaints as jokes. I expect a lot of laughs ahead.

[Trshmnstr, Grump Apprentice]

If that's all that women have to suffer through, I'm gonna go ahead and chop my dick off. What a sniveling pile of overprivileged whining.

[R C Dean]

You know who is super-critical of women over every little detail of their appearance?

Other women. Not men.

[Tyler.C]

^^^This

A lot of feminist gripes are really just projections of what women do to other women.

[Hail Rataxes]

You know what's weird? Other women also live in the patriarchy.

[R C Dean]

But, tagging things women do to each other as patriarchal seems to mean its not a male problem, no? Women don't just live in a patriarchy, they are of the patriarchy, which would mean the "patriarchy" isn't all that male-driven.

[commodious is fated to pretend]

Feminists love nothing more than robbing women of their agency, full stop.

[Trshmnstr, Grump Apprentice]

which would mean the "patriarchy" isn't all that male-driven

Why, if that's the case, then maybe the feminists aren't uncovering some sort of nefarious male conspiracy, but are just bitching about a society that doesn't cater to their emotions.

Nah, there must be some gigantic male conspiracy.

[Chipwooder]

You know what I love? For all the feminist talk of how there are no differences between men and women, when you go to a site like Bustle, what do you see? 90% of the content is about celebrities, fashion, or fucking award shows. Way to feed the stereotypes!

[Hail Rataxes]

Yeah, feminists never say women are socialized differently from men.

[Free Society]

Andrea Dworkin, is that you?

[Chipwooder]

and that's deterministic for the rest of their lives, right?

Up your game - even shriek plays at a higher level than you.

[Swiss Servator]

"Up your game - even shriek plays at a higher level than you"

That is a 155mm gun of an insult!

[Hail Rataxes]

and that's deterministic for the rest of their lives, right?

Do you understand what "socialization" means?

You were socialized not to kill people. Have you started yet?

[Chipwooder]

No, but I was trained to kill people. Does that count?

Killing human beings and liking "girly" things is an outstanding apples-to-apples comparison, though. Nice work.

[Crusty Juggler]

Stephen Tucker Buck: New World Record From Tennessee?

A quiet farmer from Sumner County, Stephen Tucker, 27, has been a deer hunter most of his life. Prior to 2016, his best buck was a 120-incher?a deer many would say is a "pretty good one for Tennessee."
That all changed on November 7, the third day of Tennessee's muzzleloader season, when Tucker shot this giant non-typical, which green-scored 308 2/8 net. If that score holds up after the 60-day drying period, it will be the largest non-typical whitetail buck ever taken by a hunter.

[Pope Jimbo]

Good for him. Nice to see a good hunter get some press.

I really like that he passed up an earlier shot because it was way out there. That makes all hunters look good.

He climbed back into his blind early that afternoon. Several does funneled into the cut corn, and an hour before dark, he spotted the buck standing on the edge of the drainage. "I hit him with my rangefinder, and he was 162 yards away," Tucker says. "I thought about shooting, but that's just farther than I'm comfortable with my muzzleloader. I definitely didn't want to cripple him, so I held off. I hoped he'd move closer, but he just turned and went back into the drainage."

[Anomalous]

Taking home the big bucks.

[Citizen X]

The buck stops here.

[R C Dean]

A rack that size is worth a ton of money. I wouldn't be surprised if he could get $100K for it.

[Citizen X]

"Whoa, nice rack."

[Lord Humungus]

Christie: Wife refused to move to Washington for Trump post

Speaking on New York radio station WFAN's "Boomer and Carton" program, Christie said that influenced his decision on accepting any of the positions offered by Republican President-elect Donald Trump.

"He didn't offer me a job that I thought was exciting enough for me to leave the governorship and my family," Christie said. "Because Mary Pat made really clear she wasn't coming to D.C."

The Republican governor said he would have made at least a two-year commitment to be there.

[db]

Good thing he didn't win the nomination for President. What an embarrassment that would have been!

[Drake]

Trenton could be our new capital.

[BigT]

Aren't Melania and the kid staying in Trump Tower?

Hey I give the guy credit for being sensitive to his wife's needs, provided this is not just some BS excuse to cover for his assholedness (very likely).

[Drake]

True confessions of a cuck?

[The Fusionist]

Many politicians would be like, "well, honey, I'll think about you while I'm hanging out at the ol' strip club."

[Pope Jimbo]

Airplane tuff gai turns out to be sheriff and has normal citizen arrested for shaking his head at his Dallas Cowboys gear on a plane.

The guy shook his head at the sheriff because he was wearing Cowboys gear on the day they played the Pack and the sheriff is from Wisconsin. So the sheriff had his deputies waiting to detain the citizen when they landed.

The dude filed a complaint and instead of apologizing the sheriff gives warning to any other Packer Backers who might look askance at him:

In his Facebook response to Black's complaint, Clarke warned: "Next time he or anyone else pulls this stunt on a plane they may get knocked out." He added he "does not have to wait for some goof to assault him."

[Juvenile Bluster]

Sheriff Clarke: The man who saw Joe Arpaio and said "Hmmmm. That man is the biggest asshole in the Western Hemisphere. How can I be worse?"

[Pope Jimbo]

I think Clarke might be in trouble for the Cowboy support. You can abuse Wisconsinites and trample their liberties with no repercussions, but not supporting the Packers??????

[Chipwooder]

I thought the same thing - I really think that one of the things that ramped up disdain for Christie in NJ was his slobbering over the Cowboys. Giants fans don't care for that shit.

[Eternal Blue Sky]

The surprising thing is that the sheriff is from Wisconsin, apparently a Cowboys fan, and HE wasn't arrested for breaking Wisconsin's blasphemy laws.

[Lord Humungus]

Undocumented worker sues San Francisco for violating sanctuary law

The lawsuit was filed on Tuesday on behalf of Pedro Figueroa Zarceno, 32, in federal court in San Francisco against the city and its police chief for violating his right to due process and breaking an ordinance barring municipal employees from cooperating with federal immigration authorities seeking to deport a person.

Figueroa walked into a police station in November 2015 to report his car stolen, according to the lawsuit. Two days later, the car was found and when he went to recover it, he was handcuffed and led outside where federal immigration agents were waiting for him, the lawsuit said.

The civil action comes as San Francisco and dozens of other U.S. cities face pressure from President-elect Donald Trump, who takes office on Friday, to abandon their policies of limiting cooperation between law enforcement officers and U.S. immigration authorities.

[Drake]

So he filed the suit from El Salvador, right?

[Monty Crisco]

So, he is suing the state for ENFORCING the law?

I wish him the best of luck, because if he succeeds, Imma be contacting my lawyers with a WHOLE LOTTA IDEAS.....

[John DeWitt]

Are you a minority?

[Free Society]

"undocumented" because he left his driver's license at home.

[Drake]

In El Salvador?

[Free Society]

Si

[Crusty Juggler]

In South Sudan, Mass Killings, Rapes and the Limits of U.S. Diplomacy

The starkest diplomatic defeat for the United States came late last month. Ms. Power was unable to persuade the United Nations Security Council to impose an arms embargo on South Sudan and sanctions on key leaders.

"Council members who didn't support this resolution are taking a big gamble that South Sudan's leaders will not instigate a catastrophe," Ms. Power said, citing the world's failure to respond to genocide in Rwanda in 1994.

But poor timing, bad judgment and a lack of a unified strategy have hampered the administration's own efforts to avert a catastrophe, many advocates, aid workers and former United States officials say. In turn, it has drawn attention to the limits of American influence ? that, too, in a country whose independence from Sudan the United States supported enthusiastically.

[Crusty Juggler]

It is also a reminder of how challenging it has been for Ms. Power in particular to put into effect the idea that she is best known for: using diplomacy to prevent mass atrocities.

During her three-year tenure, Ms. Power has used her pulpit at the United Nations to denounce human rights abusers, particularly the United States' rivals. She has used her last days on the job to promote the Obama administration's diplomatic successes, including dismantling Syria's chemical weapons and imposing new sanctions on North Korea.

During her three-year tenure as ambassador, Ms. Power has advanced gay rights, pushed the United Nations to do more to stop sexual abuse by peacekeepers and championed the rights of civil society groups. One of her most lauded achievements came early in her term, when she persuaded the rest of the administration to authorize a peacekeeping force to stop mass atrocities in the Central African Republic, a country where the United States had little to gain.

[Swiss Servator]

It is also a reminder of how challenging it has been for Ms. Power in particular to put into effect the idea that she is best known for: using diplomacy to prevent mass atrocities.

Wait, genocidaries, rapists, murderers and thieves won't be deterred by "diplomacy"??

[Monty Crisco]

I have a Glock 27 that I have put a custom barrel, custom trigger and custom sights on. It's name is "diplomacy". Thieves DEFINITELY respect that.

[Citizen X]

+1 Last Argument of Kings

[commodious is fated to pretend]

Apres moi, las explosion.

[R C Dean]

That's awesome, Monty. I may have to get the slide on my .45 engraved.

Tempted to go with "Reason", but its been done.

[Monty Crisco]

One of my other guns is named "Moral Hazard". She's a bitch that one. Don't want to face her consequences!!

[R C Dean]

Maybe go Latin:

Mortem tuam

I'm liking it.

[R C Dean]

Would go by "Mort", to its friends.

[commodious is fated to pretend]

Memento Mori

[db]

Wasn't Samantha Power responsible for the US's failure in the 1990s to prevent genocides in Africa? I seem to remember reading an article in Foreign Policy when she was confirmed about how that "shaped" her and would make her an extra super effective advocate for oppressed and genocided peoples the world over.

[Rufus The Monocled]

She needed bigger index cards to post on Twitter.

#stoptehgenocideyou

[BigT]

dismantling Syria's chemical weapons

Um, is she calling pouring all those chemicals on civilians 'dismantling'? Newspeak!

[The Fusionist]

Well this sucks, the North Sudanese were being such murderous tyrants as to inspire South Sudan's creation, and now I'm told the new boss is like the old?

[Rich]

Walmart sued for firing of employee with Down syndrome

Marlo Spaeth, of Manitowoc, Wis., was disciplined for absenteeism after management changed her schedule of 15 years. Spaeth typically worked from noon to 4 p.m. The new scheduling system called for Spaeth to work later and longer shifts and, because of her disability, she was unable to adapt to the changes in routine

Who is the master?

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

Thank god Top Men exist to cull the infirm.

[straffinrun]

*narrows gaze*

[Free Society]

I trust that this employee had some sort of written contract that said Walmart couldn't ever ever change her hours...

[Crusty Juggler]

Running May Be Good for Your Knees

Many people worry that running ruins knees. But a new study finds that the activity may in fact benefit the joint, changing the biochemical environment inside the knee in ways that could help keep it working smoothly.

Epidemiological studies of long-term runners show that they generally are less likely to develop osteoarthritis in the knees than people of the same age who do not run.

Some scientists have speculated that running may protect knees because it also often is associated with relatively low body mass. Carrying less weight is known to reduce the risk for knee arthritis

I run, so I believe it.

[straffinrun]

So it wasn't running that ruined your knees?

[Pope Jimbo]

Did you not see his lawsuit demanding that the ADA requires them to replace the hard tile floor in the public restroom with carpet?

[R C Dean]

+ 1 arrow to the knee.

[Idle Hands]

Many people worry that running ruins knees.

I worry more about the fucking.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Running ruins the fucking?

Maybe you should work on getting consent? They'll stop running away.

[Rufus The Monocled]

I've been running since I was 14 - and I can be characterized as one of those with 'weak' knees having gone through two ACL surgeries. All I heard was 'you run but the impact?!' whenever people find out I run. Yeah, if you run like a stupid moron maybe (Man, have I seen bad form over the years...some run as if they're The Hulk chasing down a goat, others shuffle their feet). But there is a technique to running where you can minimize the impact. Plus it helps I'm not exactly a heavy guy. Anyway, running is safer than playing hockey and soccer; even baseball for ACL guys. All sports I had to let go...which pisses me off.

[Trshmnstr, Grump Apprentice]

Also important is the shoe that you get. My wife got minimalist zero-drop running shoes a couple years back, and she was consistently recovering from one injury or another. When she switched back to a more supportive shoe, she stopped getting injured.

If it's true for those small/moderate injuries, I'm sure that the shoe has a huge impact on the longer term health of the knee joint.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Agreed.

[MikeT1986]

Worth noting there's a major correlation not found here.

Let's for the sake of argument that posit that diet/biochemistry effects weight more than running.

Skinny people will be more prone to running, it's easier when you're thin and waifish. Your knees will also by nature of being built like a child be taking less abuse from day to day life.

Point is there's a lot of confounding data, and running is awful.

[BigT]

No runski, no jogski, not trotski!

[Crusty Juggler]

Running May Be Good for Your Knees

Many people worry that running ruins knees. But a new study finds that the activity may in fact benefit the joint, changing the biochemical environment inside the knee in ways that could help keep it working smoothly.

Epidemiological studies of long-term runners show that they generally are less likely to develop osteoarthritis in the knees than people of the same age who do not run.

Some scientists have speculated that running may protect knees because it also often is associated with relatively low body mass. Carrying less weight is known to reduce the risk for knee arthritis

I run, so I believe it.

[Swiss Servator]

So do the squirrelz.

[BigT]

Skwerlz out-run Crusty.

[Citizen X]

They run 2/3 of the way across the street, freeze when they realize a car is approaching, and then turn around and run back.

[Swiss Servator]

Serpentine!

[Mickey Rat]

And right under the passenger side wheels.

[Mickey Rat]

What if you are running with a high body mass?

[Rich]

Kissinger's Files and Invisible Ink Recipes: C.I.A. Trove Has It All

If you wanted, you could read up on the United States government's research on "spiritualist healers in Mexico," the "dreamlike structure of telepathic assertions" or "an assessment of the evidence for psychic functioning."

Your tax dollars at work.

[Mantis Toboggan, Jr.]

The worst part: there are even stupider wastes of tax dollars than that.

[Rich]

NOO!!

[Lord Humungus]

Mr. President, we must not allow a mineshaft ESP gap!

[The Fusionist]

I knew you'd say that.

[Lord Humungus]

I see what you did there.

[commodious is fated to pretend]

I thought woo and sci-fi is the FBI's domain.

[Lord Humungus]

Democrats in the Wilderness
Inside a decimated party's not-so-certain revival strategy.

They expected her to win, of course, but they knew President Clinton was going to get thrashed in the 2018 midterms?the races were tilted in Republicans' favor, and that's when they thought the backlash would really hit. Many assumed she'd be a one-term president. They figured she'd get a primary challenge. Some of them had already started gaming out names for who it would be.

What happened the next night shocked even the most pessimistic Democrats. But in another sense, it was the reckoning the party had been expecting for years. They were counting on a Clinton win to paper over a deeper rot they've been worrying about?and to buy them some time to start coming up with answers. In other words, it wasn't just Donald Trump. Or the Russians. Or James Comey. Or all the problems with how Clinton and her aides ran the campaign. Win or lose, Democrats were facing an existential crisis in the years ahead?the result of years of complacency, ignoring the withering of the grass roots and the state parties, sitting by as Republicans racked up local win after local win.

"The patient," says Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper, "was clearly already sick."

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

But they have all those celebrities willing to make videos for them! How can that not win them local elections in flyover states?

[Rufus The Monocled]

"Neal Levine ? University of Toledo
Sorry the Democrats only problem was being not dirty enough. The GOP and Donald Trump used the underbelly of American life which either attracted many people or was ignored by many Trumpettes. Racism, bigotry, misogyny and anti-semitism have no business in our political discord but the GOP/Trump legitimized it. All one has to do is look at Troll Roy Ellis's racist comment. With the help of Russia in the polls are showing a huge dissatisfaction with theGOP and trump. Their MO is usually self inflicted wounds and will not take long for the democrats to come back again."

Yeh. They're done.

[Citizen X]

+1 Permanent Majority

[SugarFree]

no business in our political discord

in typo veritas

[Rufus The Monocled]

U of T bro.

[Lord Humungus]

David Gelernter, fiercely anti-intellectual computer scientist, is being eyed for Trump's science adviser

Gelernter is a pioneer in the field of parallel computation, a type of computing in which many calculations are carried out simultaneously. The programming language he developed in the 1980s, Linda, made it possible to link together several small computers into a supercomputer, significantly increasing the amount and complexity of data that computers can process. Since then he has written extensively about artificial intelligence, critiquing the field's slow progress and warning of AI's potential dangers.

In 1993, Gelernter was seriously injured by a letter bomb sent by Ted Kaczynski, the anti-technology terrorist known as the Unabomber.

Beyond computer science circles, Gelernter has made a name for himself as a vehement critic of modern academia. In his 2013 book, "America-Lite: How Imperial Academia Dismantled Our Culture (and Ushered in the Obamacrats)," he condemned "belligerent leftists" and blamed intellectualism for the disintegration of patriotism and traditional family values. He attributed the decline in American culture to "an increasing Jewish presence at top colleges." (Gelernter himself is Jewish.)

[UnCivilServant]

So he's against the entrenched priesthood where someone's feelings can get peer-reviewed and published?

I'm already liking the guy.

[Drake]

I will block my work calendar to watch his confirmation hearing.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

In 1993, Gelernter was seriously injured by a letter bomb sent by Ted Kaczynski, the anti-technology terrorist known as the Unabomber.

Gee, I wonder why he hates left-wing intellectuals.

[John Titor]

Eh, I'd question Kaczynski's 'left-wing'-ness. His manifesto has a bunch of long rants in it about how left-wing people are psychologically broken and incapable of functioning like normal human beings (this part tends to get stolen and thrown into a bunch of online manifestos, like Anders Breivik's).

[Lord Humungus]

You know who else had a manifesto with a bunch of long rants...

[UnCivilServant]

JATNAS?

[Citizen X]

Ken Shultz?

[John Titor]

Say what you will about Marx, at least his is short and punchy.

[Kurmudgeonly Kristen]

Herc?

[The Fusionist]

The authors of the U.S. Declaration of Independence?

[Citizen X]

Ayn Rand?

[Somalian Road Corporation]

I'd like to dust off this old classic that I first remember coming across in the 90s: Al Gore or the Unabomber?

See if you can distinguish Earth in the Balance from the Unabomber Manifesto from excerpts.

[The Fusionist]

So opposing the misdeeds of the intellectuals is being "anti-intellectual"?

[Free Society]

Given what passes for the "intellectual class" these days, being against them sounds really great all else being equal.

[Palin's Buttplug]

The end of coal is near: China just scrapped 103 power plants

http://www.sciencealert.com/th.....wer-plants

But the Orangutan just promised 10 million hillbillys he would bring their coal jobs back!

[Tornado35235gsg35423ttg3gt3g3g]

What? How does them scrapping 103 plants which they couldn't use suggest the end of coal is near. That doesn't make sense. How many total were they planning to build...wasn't it 245 or something?

Coal still makes up 33% of the grid in the US fyi

[R C Dean]

Isn't the net increase in coal power plants the only interesting metric?

[UnCivilServant]

Don't you see, it's like government budgets, a decrease in the rate of increase is a cut!

Actually this looks more like a sign that China's own unrealistic expectations of growth are being adjusted down as reality catches up with them.

[R C Dean]

Or, they guy who arranged all that building got busted for corruption.

[db]

I have seen Chinese power plants. They build them and scrap them frequently. It's kind of like they read Bastiat and thought "hey if it works with a $100 window, just think how much *better* it would be with a billion dollar power plant!"

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

I believe the phrase is "Pay your bet, Monsieur Stain du'Merde."

[WTF]

Oui!

[Drake]

No. They cancelled 100 coal plants currently in development. That's like reducing the deficit by planning to cut spending in 2020.

[Tornado35235gsg35423ttg3gt3g3g]

This

[Just a thought not a sermon]

China September coal imports surge again as domestic cuts bite

"China imported 24.26 million tonnes of coal in September, up more than a third from a year ago, customs data showed on Thursday, as government-enforced mine closures forced utilities and steel mills to buy more foreign raw material. "

[ant1sthenes]

It's China, the land where they build cities and no one shows up. It means jack other than communism is inefficient.

[Monty Crisco]

Yes, dipshit, YES.... give in to your feelings of rage and anger.... Troll.... TROLL!!!! Give vent to your anger.... DELICIOUS TEARS OF PAIN.....

NOM NOM NOM NOM....

MORE PLEASE!!!

[Pope Jimbo]

Please forward this to any IT project manager you know

A new program has started to train stay at home moms parents to become IT project managers. They pay for 3 weeks of training and send them off to their first jobs.

Three weeks to become an IT manager. That is actually 2 weeks more than I would have guessed.

[db]

Training consists of one day of instruction in basic shotgun and fourteen days of blastin' squirrels.

[Lord Humungus]

So an IT manager without any knowledge of current software, hardware, and minimal management experience? Just what we need !

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

Just don't ask for an itemized report. Might cause motherboard meltdown.

[Pope Jimbo]

I'm also sure that the mom demanded a work schedule from 10 to 4 to make sure she can still watch kids after school. Oh and she needs a lot of flexibility during those hours.

And if you have been out of development loop for 13 years, you don't know shit about shit anymore.

[lap83]

"IT managers"
I think project management is considered it's own discipline, they aren't departmental managers according to the article

[Rufus The Monocled]

Someone in my hockey pool is one. Sounds like he's well compensated.

[db]

You know global warming is a thing when Canucks are playing hockey in a pool.

[Pope Jimbo]

Yeah, actually being a PM is not a bad gig. If you can think logically and deal with a bunch of guys who are on the Aspy scale you can do very well.

In my experience you have a few very good PM's who are fantastic to work with. The rest are horrible. They stare at their project plan (or Jira board) and worry more about how the paper work is progressing than if critical path issues are being finished.

I'm a bit bitter this week about PM's because I have been doing their jobs on two different projects. Neither of them really even understood what we are building. To them it is just a bunch of tasks in Jira. There was no link in their brains between the solution we are building and the tasks that were in the tickets.

[Free Society]

PM= post master?

[commodious is fated to pretend]

Prime minister, dummy.

[Free Society]

I don't get hockey.

[Trshmnstr, Grump Apprentice]

There are 2 traits that make a good PM, in my experience. 1) Having worked on that or a similar project. 2) Having enough EQ to understand that not everybody has the same exact work ethic as you do.

Solely as an added bonus: actually give a shit about the people you manage.

[Citizen X]

The firm i used to work for did something like that in-house. They hired a bunch of kids out of high school and got them trained but not certified in anything; 18 years later they're all stuck there, because without certifications or college degrees they can't get a job anywhere else.

[Pope Jimbo]

When I worked at Andersen Consulting that was their MO too. They did all their training in house. It was pretty good, but you didn't have any proof that you actually did know what you were talking about.

Of course after 10 minutes in an interview most people realized you did know a lot about that topic and would still hire you.

[Citizen X]

You gotta have that paper to get through the door, most places.

[Pope Jimbo]

That was the flaw with AC/Accenture.

You don't make it to partner if you aren't a sociopath, so most people work 5 or so years to get some good experience and then they use the network of ex-AC people to get new jobs.

I left in 1999 and I still will compare notes with any Accenture (or ex-Accenture) person I meet to see who we know in common. It is a pretty good network to leverage.

[Swiss Servator]

NONE SHALL PASS!

/HR Gatekeepers

[straffinrun]

The Peter Principle Project.

[Swiss Servator]

*applause*

[The Elite Elite]

Ah, the last day of the worst president of my lifetime. It feels so good! So long, Barry. Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Spoken like a true ignorant redneck.

The Bushpigs will always be remembered as the worst since Buchanan.

[Palin's Buttplug]

New ranking of U.S. presidents puts Lincoln at No. 1, Obama at 18; Kennedy judged most overrated

https://goo.gl/4zMmf8

[Monty Crisco]

YES, TURD, YES..... HATE THE "HILLBILLIES"!!!! THEY HAVE WRONGED YOU!!!!

GIVE IN TO THE HATE!!!!!!

NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.....

mmmmmmmmm....DELICIOUS....

[The Fusionist]

Reagan at 11, George H. W. Bush at 17 - so you agree that they were both better than Obama?

[Palin's Buttplug]

Both handled foreign relations with great skill. Reagan certainly deserves a lot of credit as a transformative POTUS (in a good way). Despite all the scandal he deserves a high ranking.

[Palin's Buttplug]

HW, unlike his ignorant son, got the fuck out of Iraq after freeing Kuwait.

[The Fusionist]

So...better than Obama?

[Rufus The Monocled]

Obama belongs tied for 35th with Bush.

How in the fucken world he's 18th is beyond me and brings into question the mindset of academics.

His foreign policy alone was such a disaster it should sink him like a rock. He did shit for liberty and issues on race.

I'll give him credit from being a master deceiver though. He knew if he rammed through O-Care and carefully orchestrated his image he'd fool the whole lot of you tarts thus solidifying his 'legacy'.

Legacy of nothingness really.

[Palin's Buttplug]

LIBYA = IRAQ!! EXACTLY THE SAME!!

You're one of those idiots.

[Monty Crisco]

YES!!! GIVE IN TO THE HATE!!!! LET THE TEARS FLOW!!!!

NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.....

mmmmmmmmmmmm.....hehehehehe

[Tyler.C]

No but Iraq =Iraq. Plus droning/bombing of Libya, Syria, Pakistan, Yemen, Somalia, Afghanistan, Iraq.

[Rufus The Monocled]

On the AGGREGATE his foreign policies were failed and had no less of a significant negative impact. Not that you care.

Idiot.

[Eternal Blue Sky]

The Fat Fuck who provoked the Japanese to attack and kill Americans so he could justify going to war and killing more Americans for the benefit of the Communists is ranked #3??

"we surveyed 162 members of the American Political Science Association's Presidents & Executive Politics"

Ah. As ranked by PoliSci majors... that explains it.

[straffinrun]

It's like Christmas. You run downstairs knowing your parents didn't get you the Pancreatic cancer they were thinking about, but you saw them shopping in the STD aisle in November. "God, I hope it's crabs."

[Free Society]

"What'd you get for Christmas?"

"My mom and dad gave me crabs. But they said it was Santa that gave me herpes."

[Jerryskids]

I was thinking more like you rubbed that old brass lamp you found washed up on the beach and out popped Anton Chigurh. Heads it's a malignant inoperable brain tumor, tails it's a heretofore unknown bacterial infection spread by Amazonian mosquitoes. Rumor has it the bacterial infection results in immunity to cavities, ulcers, bad breath, BO, athlete's foot, jock itch and most other forms of unpleasant rot, corruption and decay.

[Citizen X]

"Call it, friendo."

[Kurmudgeonly Kristen]

What's a way you can say "Happy birthday, old friend" without implying the person is, like, elderly?

[UnCivilServant]

"Happy Birthday".

[Kurmudgeonly Kristen]

I say "happy birthday" to strangers on the street, not people I have known for over 40 years. I like to add something special for my good friends, so they know they're...special.

[Citizen X]

"Happy birthday, special friend."

[UnCivilServant]

'special' has euphemistic connotations. Even I know that.

[lap83]

What doesn't have euphemistic connotations on this site?

[UnCivilServant]

That's a very abstract euphemism you've got there.

[lap83]

Thanks for noticing

[commodious is fated to pretend]

Happy birthday, old man. Not many left, eh?

[BigT]

"Happy Birthday! Wanna fuck? Haha! Don't you wish we still could?"

[straffinrun]

Sprinkle crushed viagra on his cake?

[Crusty Juggler]

"You're an old crone, but I still want to bury my bone."

"You're an old biddy, but I'd still play with your kitty."

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

Might have missed your calling.

[Swiss Servator]

Hallmark writer?

[Citizen X]

Stuffed vulture and a cane with a bow on it. Birthday card says something about being over the hill. Coupon for Denny's.

[Pope Jimbo]

Some E-cards has you covered.

This one may be what you are looking for?

[Pope Jimbo]

This is the b-day card Mrs. Holiness gets each year

[The Fusionist]

The second one is perfect, demonstrating a lack of HTML skills, just like an old person!

[The Fusionist]

Ooh, you corrected it too fast for me.

[Pope Jimbo]

Nope. I deserved some shit from a smart ass whippersnapper like yourself for fucking that up.

The first link was supposed to go here.

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

"Happy birthday, friend-unit Prime."

[The Fusionist]

"I SAID, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

[The Fusionist]

Pull the pin
squeeze the handle
make a wish
and blow out the candles

[AlmightyJB]

Happy Birthday. Also, would.

[AlmightyJB]

Oh wait, I say that to strangers on the street.

[lap83]

Don't mention the birthday at all and just comment on how youthful and radiant they look

[lap83]

Maybe take them to a bar with an extremely rigorous ID checking policy

[R C Dean]

You can tell change is in the wind when Reason runs an unflattering pic of Obama.

/yokeltard OFF

[commodious is fated to pretend]

change is in the wind

That's the insipid windbag leaving. At least his replacement doesn't insist on himself.

[Zero Sum Game]

Washington will turn into a virtual fortress ahead of Donald Trump's presidential inauguration on Friday as the U.S. capital braces for more than a quarter-million protesters expected during the Republican's swearing-in.

Seems like this should happen more often. Just think of all the money spent by people traveling from all over and the boost to the local economy. Sparking protests is a stimulus package.

Who am I kidding? Most of them probably do not have jobs and are on the dole anyway. Tax dollars hard at work.

[BigT]

Just build Trump's damned wall around DC and keep all the mutants locked in and the rest of us from being contaminated!

[UnCivilServant]

Is that the invisible barrier that kept me from walking out of the Capital Wasteland a few years back?

[commodious is fated to pretend]

It's a virtual fortress.

[UnCivilServant]

Maybe I should use the mini-nukes I've been stockpiling now, but MIRV just can't help but hit me too...

[commodious is fated to pretend]

I find the idea of a fat man with the two shot effect hilarious. Never found one.

[GSL in E]

Mayor: "This hippie concert festival could bring a lot of money into this town."
Cartman: "They're hippies! They don't have any money!"

[Jerryskids]

A big chunk of them get government paychecks. What's worse than a lazy government employee not doing their job? A hard-working government employee doing their job.

[commodious is fated to pretend]

Thank God we don't get all the government we pay for.

[0x90]

Confirmation hearings begin today for former Texas Gov. Rick Perry, Trump's nominee to head the Department of Energy.

Save a pretzel for the gas jets!