The Young Pope: Entertaining but Incoherent
A story of unchecked ego in HBO miniseries.


The Young Pope. HBO. Sunday, January 15, 9 p.m.
Television's last excursion into papal politics—Showtime's The Borgias, in which Renaissance bad boys Alexander VI (better known to history by his birth name, Rodrigo Borgia) and Guiliano della Rovere (the future Julius II, the guy who bullied Michaelangelo over painting the Sistine Chapel) boinked and butchered their way across Europe—was debauched.
The newest one, HBO's The Young Pope, is merely dazed: stylistically, narratively, theologically. Part soap opera, part jeremiad, and part dark comedy, its various incarnations don't always mesh very well. It strives for epic magnificence and falls well short of coherence.
And yet it's kind of entertaining. In short, it's the 2016 of TV series. Watch it, enjoy it, but don't be surprised if you wake up with a hangover that feels like a Vladimir Putin lobotomy.
An Italian-British-American co-production, The Young Pope has already aired in Rome with big ratings, though that doesn't necessarily mean much in a country driven to distraction by even the most mildly tittilatory material about the Vatican. Work has already begun on a second season, though HBO continues to bill it as a miniseries ("limited series," in current jargon), which suggests the network isn't convinced Americans will be quite as unhinged to see that the pope actually takes his shirt off at night.
The title character is 47-year-old Lenny Belardo, the youngest pope since the 11th century, and the first American. (Naturally, he's played by a Brit, Jude Law.) Belardo's election was an upset managed by the Vatican's secretary of state, the sinister Cardinal Voiello (Italian film veteran Silvio Orlando), who wanted a charismatic but pliant pope—a "telegenic puppet," in the words of one church cynic—to carry out his agenda.
Belardo predictably follows Hollywood rules about unpredictable proteges, kicking his sponsors in their holy butts. He puts Voiello to work making his coffee while choosing as his senior adviser a maternal nun (Diane Keaton, looking about as comfortable as a nun as Mary Tyler Moore did in Change of Habit) from the orphanage where he was dumped by hippie parents. And he alarms the Vatican's powerful marketing arm by forbidding the use of his image to sell trinkets—even firing the official Vatican photographer and demanding that all his public appearances be made in a carefully shadowed environment where his face can't be seen.
But if The Young Pope's title and set-up had you expecting a warm parable about a quirky kid dumping stodgy church doctrine in favor of a warmly liberal new Catholicism that embraces Cuban peasant cooperatives and Code Pink, you're taking communion with the wrong show.
Belardo's first act after sacking the Vatican photographer is to bring back the papal tiara, an act of flamboyance that hints his reticence about his image is less about abnegation of human ego than a fear of being recognized in connection with some past transgression. He upbraids and demotes a senior member of the curia for being gay and reams the papal cook for overfamiliarity. ("I do not appreciate friendly relationships. I'm a great fan of formal ones.")
Even his chosen regnal name, Pius XIII, has dubious connotations; it's a provocative reminder of Piuses XI and XII, who played footsie with Hitler in the 1930s and 1940s. Certainly Belardo's ideas on spirituality would impress Mussolini in their style, if not content: Belardo wants the members of his church worshiping "24 hours a day, your hearts and minds full of God. And no room for free will. No room for liberty. No room for emancipation."
Running a youthful reformer type, by itself, would have made The Young Pope a challenging work. But the turmoil sown by Belardo often seems less political or theological than simply the prolonged tantrum of a spoiled brat. Despite his Dean Wormer oration on 24/7 prayer, he takes apparent pleasure in a dream in which he delivers a homily in St. Peter's Square reminding Catholics of the joys of birth control, masturbation, homosexuality, and gay marriage among priests.
He subverts the Vatican confessional box to learn secrets of the curia, and his own psychological self-inventory ("intransigent, irritable, vindictive, and I have a prodigious memory") suggest they'll be put to potent use. At times, Belardo is so schizzy that The Young Pope seems more like Catholicism's answer to Seven Days in May. It is no coincidence that one of the show's recurring images is that of a crucifix seen upside down, like a flag flipped over in a signal of distress.
This story is, at times, difficult to follow, not just for its contradictions but for its unconventional style. The Young Pope is written and directed by Paolo Sorrentino, who won a foreign-film Oscar a couple of years ago for The Great Beauty, and his fondness for helter-skelter skipping between dreams, visions, fantasies and flashbacks is rampant here.
For all that, The Young Pope is not without its weird attractions. Whether Belardo is busting cardinals for gerontophiliac fantasies about Vatican statuary that he learned about from their confessions or unleashing a kangaroo on the Vatican gardens, Law brings him to dotty and diversionary life. Law's sneering carnality is reminiscent of the scene in 1953's The Wild Ones, in which a youthful Marlon Brando plays a motorcycle punk. "Hey Johnny, what are you rebelling against?" asks a girl, to which Brando retorts: "Whadda you got?" The problem is that youthful rebelliousness eventually crosses the line into middle-age crazy.
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We Catholics are the last identity group it's okay to kick around. IF YOU PRICK US, DO WE NOT BLEED, AND THEN MOVE THE PRIEST WHO PRICKED US TO A DIFFERENT PARISH?
Anyway, The Godfather Part III soured this former altar boy on Vatican palace intrigue.
The Godfather Part III soured me on the Godfather franchise.
The Godfather Part III soured me on laws regarding incest.
Oh, please. WASP males.
As a White Male American Atheist, please except this humble "go FUCK yourself".
Pricked whom?
This is papel comedy.
Eddie's not here, man.
Brilliant, Citzy.
Virtually none of the stuff reviewed in Reason sounds good enough to watch - just because it's about a weirdo American Pope doesn't make it more appealing than the other stuff reviewed in Reason.
see that the pope actually takes his shirt off at night.
I'm sold.
Diane Keaton, looking about as comfortable as a nun as Mary Tyler Moore did in Change of Habit)
Holy crow! Mary Tyler Moore was a pretty gal.
What's Diane Keaton, chopped liver?
From seeing the trailers for this when watching Westworld, it seems to be a set- up for a story about the Antichrist.
Pass.
Hey, no spoilers!
Whether Belardo is busting cardinals for gerontophiliac fantasies about Vatican statuary
Belardo is a monster!
Certainly strong evidence for Mickey Rat's "Antichrist" theory!
Something happened
An Arizona state trooper owes his life to an armed citizen who shot a man along a remote stretch of highway just east of California. The now-deceased man had, a few minutes earlier, opened fire and wounded the officer, police said Thursday.
The article is so mindnumbingly poorly written, I'm not sure what.
It's the Washington Post. Confronted with the fact of a responsible gun owner saving a life, the writer had a series of mini-strokes.
At first I didn't know what you meant by 'poorly written'. But then I got deeper in and holy shit... it's scattershot.
Oh, and what Citizen X said.
That's why, when I visit Arizona, I never go east of California.
Frankly it's why I never go east of California, period. Just too dangerous.
ps- FUCK THE POPE.
When I first saw the previews I googled "Pope Pius XIII". Turns out that where was some ultraorthodox Catholic group in Washington state that elected someone "Pop" Piux XII in 1998. My guess? The whole show ends up being the delusions of some dude living in the desert.
I'm gonna interpret this as a subtle insult toward Willem Dafoe and go ahead and take offense on his behalf. Stand by for scathing retort.
"Piuses XI and XII, who played footsie with Hitler in the 1930s and 1940s"
Sigh...long story short, this is silly.
OMG Pius XI signed a treaty with HITLER in 1933...and then denounced Nazism root and branch after Hitler reneged on the deal.
OMG Pius XII didn't save enough Jews...on top of the Jews he actually did save...
You get the idea.
Before Mussolini allied with Hitler, the Popes tried to work with him (Mussolini), while warning against the perils of fascist statolatry.
I occasionally shop at the Fascist Eye Dolla Tree.
How Pius XII was an 'active conspirator' in three anti-Hitler plots
Ask the Serbs how they feel about those dudes.
check this out...
"In August of [1942], the Grand Rabbi of Zagreb, Dr. Miroslav Freiberger, wrote to Pius XII expressing his "most profound gratitude" for the "limitless goodness that the representatives of the Holy See and the leaders of the Church showed to our poor brothers."...In October, a message went out from the Vatican to its representatives in Zagreb regarding the "painful situation that spills out against the Jews in Croatia" and instructing them to petition the government for "a more benevolent treatment of those unfortunates." In December 1942, Dr. Freiberger wrote again, expressing his confidence "in the support of the Holy See."...
"Croatian Archbishop Alojzij Stepinac originally welcomed the Ustashi government, but after he learned of the extent of the brutality, and after having received direction from Rome, he condemned its actions. [The British Minister to the Holy See during the war years, Sir Francis D'Arcy Osborne, wrote that Stepinac always acted according to the "well-intended dictates of his conscience."] A speech he gave on October 24, 1942, is typical of many that he made refuting Nazi theory:
""All men and all races are children of God; all without distinction. Those who are Gypsies, Black, European, or Aryan all have the same rights.... for this reason, the Catholic Church had always condemned, and continues to condemn, all injustice and all violence committed in the name of theories of class, race, or nationality. It is not permissible to persecute Gypsies or Jews because they are thought to be an inferior race."
"The Associated Press reported that "by 1942 Stepinac had become a harsh critic" of that Nazi puppet regime, condemning its "genocidal policies, which killed tens of thousands of Serbs, Jews, Gypsies and Croats." He thereby earned the enmity of the Croatian dictator, Ante Pavelic."
Reported as spam.
Does the show address climate change and gay marriage?
Yes, a broken levee marries a fracking-induced tsunami, and scandal ensues when a county clerk refuses to issue them a construction permit to build a guest cottage on their own freakin' property.
"Contributing Editor Glenn Garvin is the author of Everybody Had His Own Gringo: The CIA and the Contras and (with Ana Rodriguez) Diary of a Survivor: Nineteen Years in a Cuban Women's Prison. He writes about television for the Miami Herald."
"The problem is that youthful rebelliousness eventually crosses the line into middle-age crazy."
maybe a more accurate choice of words next time.
Is middle-aged crazy worse than mid-life crisis? Because youthful conformity seems to lead to the latter as often as youthful rebelliousness leads to the former.
Signed,
-40 Year-old Crazy Person
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What the he'll is aPutin lobotomy? Can't this rag write a story without some lame Putin joke?
How about a pull-out joke? I'll go first: "Your dad should've rolled over and shot you on the wall."
[Disclaimer: ejaculating onto walls is considered a form of birth control and grave sin, and therefore is not recommended for anybody's dad.]
This sounds super fresh & original; it's about time America's major media corporations started taking a critical look at the Catholic Church.
Also, maybe Showtime could broadcast a show about a pedophile who solves crimes in his spare time.
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