A.M. Links: Trump and Putin, Aleppo Evacuation Underway, One Billion Yahoo Accounts Have Been Hacked


  • White House / Flickr.com

    "American intelligence officials say they are convinced that Russian hacking of our presidential election was approved by President Vladimir Putin."

  • California regulators have ordered Uber to stop using self-driving cars in San Francisco.
  • An operation to evacuate the Syrian city of Aleppo is currently underway.
  • Taiwanese protest leader Lin Fei-fan on Donald Trump: "We are suspicious of his motivations."
  • Yahoo has revealed that more than one billion Yahoo user accounts have been hacked.
  • "Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte risks impeachment after he admitted 'personally' killing criminals when he was the mayor of Davao City, said two Philippine senators."

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  1. Taiwanese protest leader Lin Fei-fan on Donald Trump: “We are suspicious of his motivations.”

    What’s Taiwanese for sad?

    1. There are various possibilities, but I think the word in the sense you are looking for is bei shang.

      1. As in “Don’t bei shang, wipe away those tears”?


    3. You have now taken the first step on the road to Wisdom Chinaman.

    4. Hello.

      1. Go back to Canada, you poutine eating polite Canadian!

    5. My daughter (2nd grade) wrote a list involving her plans to propose to the boy she has a crush on.

      Transferring her to an all-girls school isn’t an overreaction, is it?

      1. My wife once *stumbled* upon our daughter’s diary around the same time and discovered she had a crush on a boy.

        Lemme tell ya…

      2. Slut or lesbian? That’s a tough one.

      3. kids will be kids I remember when I was 12 roaming the streets of New York having indiscriminate sex with my peers, smoking weed, drinking 40’s and being exposed to the HIV.

      4. Are they going to run away to an island, live as castaways, and build a coconut powered radio learn how to make love ala Blue Lagoon?

        (god I’m old).

      5. My daughter’s got her beat. She’s only in first grade but already is having a tough time deciding between which of her two would-be fianc?s to marry. Seems like she’s leaning towards the older, more mature fella. He’s in third grade and one of my son’s best friends. Hilariously enough, he’s a twin and my daughter frequently gets annoyed that she’s been holding hands with the wrong one.

        1. My 4 year old has such a crush on one of her brother’s 4th grade classmates that when I asked her what sandwich she wanted for lunch, she said she wanted Hunter.

          If Hunter beats out PB&J, he must really be special.

      6. I’ve already had the talk with my daughter. She’ll be allowed to date when she’s 42 and she agreed to this in writing. A crayon signature is just as binding.

      7. I can only hope my daughter learns the joy of cock at a young age. What’s the point of being a hot chick if you don’t slut it up a bit?

        1. Careful what you wish for. The universe might take you literally, and then she’ll be Trumping it up on message boards while running a website full of old-timey pinups.

      8. I guess that tramp stamp you got her wasn’t such a great idea.

      9. She’ll look great in a burka.

  2. Yahoo has revealed that more than one billion Yahoo user accounts have been hacked.

    Which has to be, what? All of them?

    1. It is a very large drawer of socks.

        1. Tulpae?

          1. No, Tulpa is actually already the plural. The singular is Tulpum.

          2. It might be a Tulpception. We need to go deeper.

            (We really don’t, but the Tulpas will make us anyway).


              1. Hey! I identify as transtulpic, you cis-commentariat shitlord!

                1. Is ‘transtulpic’ a designated gender, or is it some type of otherkin? If the latter, which animal should Tulpa have been born as? A cuckoo? A dungbeetle?

                  1. Transtulpic is a genderfluid term.

                    As in the fluid that would leak from the terminal of a diseased gendermember.

      1. Part of me thinks this is made up by Yahoo to give the impression people still use them.

        1. A billion accounts held by 500,000 actual users.

        2. Throw away e-mail addresses.

          1. Yahoo: the email account you use for very rare instances, perhaps for things you don’t want your spouse to see.

            1. I’ve had the same Yahoo e-mail account since 1996. It’s nothing but spam.

          2. I gave my Yahoo! address to a church at an event I attended recently. I’m a bad person, right?

            1. My old Hotmail address – as seen here – is my go-to shitbox.

    2. Yahoo has revealed that more than one billion Yahoo user accounts have been hacked.

      Fake news. There’s no way Yahoo has 1/100 that many users.

  3. 268) The other day, I learned about artist Tessa Black’s website (look it up yourself, NSFW), and it temporarily took me back to a time when I was more?open-minded. It got me thinking.

    When did sexual fluidity, exploring different identities, and imagining new modes of sexual expression become such a slog? When I was in middle school and high school, I thrilled to read Robert Heinlein and other SF writers (Jack L. Chalker’s Well of Souls series, many others). In college, though fairly reserved in my actual behavior, I believed technology and pharmacology would bring about a new openness in sexuality and gendering. I think I pictured something playful, creative, and fun.

    It all seems ridiculous now. Maybe it’s just from being older, having a job and kids?the last thing I’m interested in is for my kids to be exposed to sexually playful society. (When they’re older, they can make their own decisions, of course.)

    1. But I think it’s more than that too. A lot of what I pictured in my mind has turned out to be awful when I’ve actually encountered it.

      The seediness or sadness of so many people I’ve met who were actually involved in alternative or open lifestyles. The gay friend I had in graduate school who scolded me for making a joke I wasn’t “entitled” to make as a heterosexual. Others who made it clear that being an ally (not that I would have used this term?maybe it’s more recent? Or maybe I was just ignorant) meant I should shut up and keep my opinions to myself. The endless categorization and boxing in (as demonstrated by the GLBTQQATetc string), the made-up pronouns and other damage to the English language, the micro-aggressions. The terrible tattoos!

      The exclusionary attitudes, the us vs. them, the boxing in, and most, most, most of all, the humorlessness.

      Basically, for something allegedly alternative, 80-90% of what I’ve encountered seems to be people telling you what to do or think. At 19, non-traditional sexuality seemed fun and optimistic, now it seems like a black hole of despair, superficiality, and political correctness.

      1. There is no thing that the puritan mentality cannot suck the joy out of.

      2. Because it only seemed fun and optimistic if you disregarded everything else about how humans interact. We are tribal and always looking for any excuse to exclude. Any temporary defeat of that impulse is either festooned with rules or extremely short-lived.

        1. You of all people are not entitled to voice an opinion on sexuality.

          1. I’ll be in your bunk.

      3. “Basically, for something allegedly alternative, 80-90% of what I’ve encountered seems to be people telling you what to do or think.”

        This actually ties in perfectly to what I remember learning back in the late-80s, in an introduction to sociology course, about ‘deviant sub-groups.’ In rejecting the standards/rules of society-at-large, these groups actually enforce even stricter rules to define those who belong vs. outsiders.

        They used the examples of outlaw biker gangs or punk rockers. Basically, a business guy can go out on the weekend wearing jeans and a motorcycle jacket and no one bats an eye, but would a Hell’s Angel be caught dead wearing a Brooks Brothers suit and tie?

        It’s the same with many of these new “rebel” sub-groups, except their tribal rules are even more restrictive, and they focus more on opinions/speech/thought restrictions than on clothing or appearance.

      4. Instead of soulful, sexy and badass Marva Chang we get Trigglypuff

      5. The endless categorization and boxing in (as demonstrated by the GLBTQQATetc string), the made-up pronouns and other damage to the English language, the micro-aggressions.

        Maybe it’s a generational thing? I don’t see much of that in my mostly Gen-X circle.

      6. “A lot of what I pictured in my mind has turned out to be awful when I’ve actually encountered it.”

        I learned a long time ago that some fantasies are best left as fantasy. Reality rarely lives up to your imagination. Or, as my grandfather often said “Hell is having your dreams come true.”

      7. It is now LGBTSTFU

    2. Right now I’m sort of sometimes involved with a chick who claims to be polyamorous. She’s pretty open and free of issues, at least at the relatively superficial level at which we interact. She doesn’t seem to like me talking to other women, though.

      1. Run, dude, run.

        1. Seconded. It sounds like her polyamory is self-serving, if she reserves the right to be with other people while you are not allowed. That’s not how it’s supposed to work from what I’ve heard.

          1. To her credit, she never said anything. I just read it in her body language.

      2. “polyamorous”

        Likes to bang parrots.

    3. Well of Souls was a good series.

    4. Others who made it clear that being an ally (not that I would have used this term?maybe it’s more recent? Or maybe I was just ignorant) meant I should shut up and keep my opinions to myself.

      Ugh. Sorry that happened to you. So unproductive.

      I’ve always found the term “ally” just a little creepy. And while I do treasure the allyship of my straight friends, I would never seek to police their speech. If they start going full Santorum they simply stop being an ally (and perhaps friend), but that is their choice.

      the last thing I’m interested in is for my kids to be exposed to sexually playful society

      Other generations have gone through this and the kids survived. Being old, I have seen the sex, drugs and rock-n-roll generation of the sixties and seventies turn on a dime and become puritanical yuppies; it wasn’t pretty. I wish you luck navigating a path of personal integrity which also allows you to feel like you’re doing your duty as a responsible parent. And do make sure your kids get the HPV vaccine – that stuff can be spread by casual skin-on-skin contact such as during sports; oral cavity cancer (associated with HPV) isn’t pretty.

  4. Taiwanese protest leader Lin Fei-fan on Donald Trump: “We are suspicious of his motivations.”

    Shouldn’t that be the default position of every person regarding a political figure?

    1. Aye. ’tis mine.

      Cui bono?

    2. He wants that island. He wants it bad.

      To build a tremendous wall and Trump Tower!

      1. These euphemisms …

  5. California regulators have ordered Uber to stop using self-driving cars in San Francisco.

    Everyone in California has to drive. It’s the law.

    1. Reminds of the scene in LA Story when they drive to the next-door neighbor’s house.

    2. They have video of one running a red light – though there are two interesting facts. One, the video came from the dashboard of a traditionall taxi. Two, there is no way to tell if the car was driving or the human in the car was driving from the video.

    3. John enjoying a long, slow fap this morning while maintaining eye contact with Uber.

  6. Actual Vox headline: How the alt-right’s sexism lures men into white supremacy.


    1. Do you think Ezra Klein and Matt Yglesias have conversations about posting the dumbest articles they think they can get away with?

      1. I could actually respect them if they admitted they were trolling.

        1. The guy in the picture implied to be one of these sexist proto-white supremacists looks ambiguously Hispanic. Yeah I’d say they’re trolling.

          1. It’s probably just some shutterstock rando at a coffee shop.

      2. Writing articles like that has to be purposeful.

        1. Indeed. It takes some work to come up with such a nonsensical, tortured premise. You don’t just accidentally start writing drivel like that.

          1. t takes some work to come up with

            They didn’t come up with it, at least not in a vacuum. Salon and Slate posted similar articles in the last few days bundling Neo-nazis and Red-Pillers into the same movement.

            1. And I think that is less of a journolist-type organized effort, and more of an uncreative, “we have to fill space, and they did it so we should do it, too,” mentality. They are boring people who play to their equally boring, inconsequential audiences.

              1. That’s what I was suggesting too. Besides, it’s not like Journolist forced them into all writing the same thing, they joined willingly in brainstorm lemming responses.

                1. I agree completely. Their loyal audiences are similar to Trump loyalists in that they have zero ideals and will help their mewling leader spin each new narrative they think will advance their constantly evolving cause.

      3. I’m not sure two people who write like that can actually communicate using words.

        1. Some kind of mutual euphemism?

          1. I imagine it more like Brits on vacation where one just keeps talking louder and slower and gesturing more while the other looks at him like a dog that really wants to please his master by understanding, but just can’t.

    2. i still don’t know what “alt-right” means.

      1. As of right now it means icky white dudes.

      2. “i still don’t know what “alt-right” means.”

        I heard if you press that combination of keys on your keyboard, it makes a little swastika appear on screen.

        1. Now that actually did make me laugh out loud

    3. its supporters’ unorthodox tactics for promoting those ideologies were fundamental to Trump’s campaign, and thus fundamental to his victory

      [citation needed]

      Said tactics include engaging in extremist discourse

      Like the constant drumbeat sounded by Hillary’s shills portending global annihilation if Trump is elected?

      using deceptive irony and racially tinged internet memes to confuse people into dismissing the “alt-right” label as a synonym for internet trolls

      There are hundreds of them! Hundreds!

      and spreading false and misleading information

      Yeah, Trump is uniquely guilty of lying in the service of his campaign. That’s literally never happened before.

      Boring pap is boring.

  7. American intelligence officials say

    BZZZT!! Do these “officials” have names?

    1. Of course not, the Obama Administration comes down on leakers like a ton of bricks.

      1. Yet, curiously, they never investigate “anonymous” tips. Apparently all you need to do to avoid being prosecuted is tell the press not to reveal your identity (unless your identity is “Hillary Clinton”).

    2. The article just refers to ‘sources’.

      Does not sound very official.

      Trump should appoint Busey or Tom Green, or one of the other whack-a-doodles from Celebrity Apprentice to head up the CIA.

      1. Maxwell Smart…is that actor still alive?

  8. “American intelligence officials say they are convinced that Russian hacking of our presidential election was approved by President Vladimir Putin.”

    So we’ve settled that it was Russia in the first place?

    1. Russian hacking of our presidential election….

      Because it’s absolutely impossible that Trump could have won the election fair and square.

      Now the Left has a new option for new bumper stickers to identify themselves for the next four years, along the lines of “Selected, Not Elected”.

    2. Trump already cut that one off: “These are the same people who said Hussein had WMDs”

      1. Yeah, it’s funny how the left is considering the CIA as a trustworthy organization after 60+ years of complaining (in many cases, with justification) about their operations and serial lying.

    3. U.S. intelligence sources tell CBS News this type of cyber hacking could not have happened without Vladimir Putin’s blessing, saying: “The orders to do it would have had to come from the highest level.”

      This whole article is complete bullshit

      It took months for an urgent alert from federal investigators to get through to the party.

      “The FBI called the DNC help desk which then got transferred to the DNC IT administrator,” said Adam Hodge of the DNC.

      “It took several months before the DNC realized that it had been contacted by the FBI?” Pegues asked.

      “To verify the authenticity of the FBI agent who said that he said who he said he was,” Hodge said

      “Several months?” Pegues asked.


      1. Never forget: these are the people who think they should have more control over almost every aspect of your life.

      2. U.S. intelligence sources tell CBS News this type of cyber hacking could not have happened without Vladimir Putin’s blessing, saying: “The orders to do it would have had to come from the highest level.”

        Coincidentally enough, the same logic applies to the Obama administration and the CIA.

        1. IRS, Lois Lerner, …

        2. That’s not evidence = that’s a *theory*

      3. I found the DNC IT Director’s card.

      4. LOL squared – “It took months for an urgent alert from federal investigators to get through to the party.”

        The sycophantic lewinsky press is now so completely inured to wading in bullshit that their shamelessness is getting scary.

    4. No, “the Russkies did did it” is just 7th phase of the 18 stage process of Electoral Butthurt.
      We’re all holding our breath for the ‘Self Harm’ stage.

    5. Occam’s Razor and Ex-British ambassador say the leaks were an inside job.

      The whole thing is ridiculous because it was nothing more than the Clinton campaign getting caught with their hands in the cookie jar by their own words.


      1. I definitely believe Wikileaks over the DNC.

        Makes you wonder about Seth Rich.

        1. WikiLeaks is more trustworthy than the DNC or anonymous CIA agents.

      2. It is funny how they have successfully moved concern away from the information revealed to the hack itself. If Hillary wasn’t, you know, a corrupt piece of shit, it would be ridiculous to blame her loss on the hack.

    6. Occam’s Razor and Ex-British ambassador say the leaks were an inside job.

      The whole thing is ridiculous because it was nothing more than the Clinton campaign getting caught with their hands in the cookie jar by their own words.


      1. Occam’s squirrel?…

        1. John Podesta’s

      2. My working theory is that someone hacked the emails but that was not the same persons or person that leaked the them. A DNC insider with a bone to pick with Wasserman Shultz and Podesta leaked them.

        1. Seth Rich is a possibility. But he got Clintoned.

        2. Assange said that it wasn’t the Russians, but all he’s indicated is that it came from an insider; he’s never clarified if it was Seth Rich or someone else. If he hasn’t confirmed that it was Rich, it’s likely another source that he’s trying to protect so they don’t commit suicide via bullet to the back of the head.

    7. I like the subtext to the Russian interference narrative: “People wouldn’t have voted against our candidate if they didn’t know what the know, and that delegitimizes your candidate.”

  9. Government “Efficiency” at work.

    I originally ran across this tidbit through a firearms related site, but those are blocked at work (I blame Andy C.). So I have to get a link I can verify, and as such it’s Andy B..

    I have two theories about this – the malice theory and the incompetence theory. The malaice theory is that this was intentionally slow-walked so that the state could go “Sorry, you missed the deadline, your permit expired, you will need to apply anew. Oh, and by the way, you can’t keep your guns during the (1-2 year) application process because you don’t have a permit”.

    The incompetence theory has to do with the absolute cluster that is the state IT consolidation and the way in which pretty much everything is worse than before consolidation – including costs. So the state is incapable of completing such an initiative.

    The hybrid theory is that the people responsible for the policy are motivated by the malice theory and will gleefully scapegoat the IT mess should they have trouble in court. Ironically, either way, it’s Andy C.’s fault as both were his initiatives.

    1. I doubt malice is the motivating factor, but merely a beneficial side effect of the incompetence. Like prison rape–nobody is for sending criminals to prison specifically for the rape, but if it happens while they’re there, well, they shouldn’t have committed a crime.

    2. Buffalo News says renewals required by Jan 31st *2018*.

      If a system is not in place that can handle recertification in time, it should take Alan Gura 15 min to get an emergency injunction in federal court, and that’s including time for coffee and changing toner cartridge.

      1. That’s all of 13.5 months away.

        You know what government IT rollouts are like (or should, since the Obamacare site rollout is not an outlier in quality, just size) It would have to be here now to be in a functional state by the deadline.

  10. California regulators have ordered Uber to stop using self-driving cars in San Francisco.

    Human drivers are just going to need to run heat and/or air conditioning which will negatively impact the environment. What gives, San FrancisCO2?

    1. Well technically running the heat in a car is basically free given that the biggest problem an internal combustion engine faces is getting rid of all the waste heat it creates.

      One way or another that heat is getting vented to the atmosphere so diverting it to the passenger compartment when needed is a nice little bonus.

      1. Another problem with human drivers (and commenters) is the constant threat of being well actually’d

      2. Not if you are an EV driver.

  11. “Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte risks impeachment after he admitted ‘personally’ killing criminals when he was the mayor of Davao City, said two Philippine senators.”

    “Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I gotta tell you, I’m gonna plead ignorance on this thing.”

    1. Every job has its little perks. Being mayor of a Philippine city just happens to include murdering with impunity. We have jobs with similar perks here in America, as well.

    2. “If I had known that kind of thing was frowned upon here…..”

    3. +1 cleaning lady

  12. Sniffing At Trump
    Vanity Fair’s Graydon Carter and the elite’s anti-Trump puritanism.

    In pursuit of perfect liberation we’ve had no-fault divorce, open access to abortion, the celebration of inverted sex, elimination of the blue laws, and wars against censorship that continue long after the censors have cried uncle. Say what you want about this regime, you’d never call it a triumph of puritanism.

    Yet puritanical is precisely the tone of the Trump haters on the left. (We Trump haters on the right are another story.) But why? Consider Trump himself. Here’s a man who’s famous for his wide-ranging sex life, his disdain for conventional marriage, his eager embrace of divorce, his public use of profanity, his non-judgmental attitude toward unconventional sexual minorities?a man whose way of life seems unrestrained by religious impulses of any kind?a man who, in short, is a walking summation of our present-day cultural principles. Yet on each of these scores, from his many marriages to his cursing in public, he is vilified by journalists, politicos, TV starlets, right thinkers of every kind. After years of egging on potty-mouthed rappers and scolding religious believers, our cultural guardians suddenly sound like the General Conference of Methodist Bishops circa 1922.

    1. So, count Graydon Carter as yet another allegedly smart person who completely misunderstands or, at least, misrepresents what “the ugly American” meant in the novel.

    2. I expect that this exists for a very simple reason. The elitist journalists think that these items will turn off the hicks in flyover country. It’s just attacking a Republican using their impression of Republican ideas.

      1. Yeah, if being a religious prig was the primary requirement for a Republican Presidential candidate, Rick Santorum would have become the William Jennings Bryan of the party by now–multiple nominations and multiple losses.

        Republican voters have shown they’ll overlook their nominee being a serial womanizer and profane blowhard if they think he’ll beat Hillary the Lich Queen.

    3. Yet puritanical is precisely the tone of the Trump haters on the left.

      This is nothing new. Lefties have long been campaigning to trivialize sex. They’ve done to sex what they did to race: made it boring, clinical, even shameful. That’s what happens when you make everything, every fucking thing, an ideological statement.

  13. Yahoo has revealed that more than one billion Yahoo user accounts have been hacked.

    The hacking took place *three fucking years ago*.

    Let the lawsuits begin.

  14. Yahoo!! People still use accounts there or are they just old things lying around collecting dust?

    1. I have one, but it just a dumping ground for ads when a web site wants me to give them an e-mail address

    2. I don’t think I used the throwaway account I set up there since….2008?

  15. a smug little video:

    Martin Sheen: A Message for Electors to Unite For America

    Only 37 Electors are needed to change the course of history. Record your own video addressing the Electors directly?let them know why you support them, and share why you think their decision is so important to America

    1. See, THAT was the Hillary campaign’s problem – too few celebrity videos.

        1. It only counts if you have those little binoculars on a stick.

    2. Well that settles it, I must listen to a guy who plays President on TV about a guy who is going to be President

      1. Actually, a who’s who of the Left’s most prominent has-beens, including people from the downward spiral final years of M*A*S*H. Mike Farrell? Hot Lips? (She really looks awful, btw.) What’s the matter, was Radar too busy?

        Wayne Rogers must be spinning in his grave.

        1. I had no idea he was dead. I’ll only watch Trapper MASH reruns.

          1. ^ went to hell after…

        2. Loretta Swit made an election video? Did she feel the need to remind people that she’s still alive?

        3. Ed Asner is still kicking.

            1. Susan Sarandon is still going strong, as is her oldest child, Tim Robbins. I think Babs Streisand is still breathing. There are so many of them, and they are smarter than you because they have a lot of money.

        4. I was wondering who that was. Man, /whoosh.

    3. OMFG.

      Peak smug. Now they are lecturers of fucken history?

    4. ‘I unite with all Americans in thumbing this boneheaded video down.’

    5. Who would have guessed Charlie isn’t the most batshit crazy member of that family?

      1. Anyone who has seen Apocalypse Now?

        1. The movie itself is like 1/4 as crazy as the people who made it.

          1. Right. Yes. I guess I should add, “and read anything about how it was made.”

    6. You think he and the other progs would be okay if 37 electors voted for Rand Paul?

      Yeah, me too.

  16. Sophia Benoit Verified account

    Reminder: the root cause of conflict in Syria is climate change. We are gonna watch Aleppo happen again and again again until it’s us.

    1. Yeah, but Putin causes climate change!

    2. I’m sure Sophia Benoit has conducted a detailed meteorological and climatological survey of Syria over a sizable timeframe in order to back up this claim.

    3. Yeah, a thousand years of Shia-Sunni conflict has NOTHING to do with it, at all.

      1. Don’t you see, “Climate Change” is “Islam”. That’s why the climate afficionados are so eager to silence and kill the infidels.

    4. /Addresses Syrians who don’t understand English.

      ‘Don’t you see? Don’t you get it? You people are mad drunk on violence because (looks up and starts pointing aimlessly) because of CLIMATE CHANGE! Why aren’t you people listening?! RUN! Save yourselves!

      /Syrian walks up to her and punches her off the stage.

    5. Since increased C02 levels are causing the Middle East to green around the edges of the deserts… how do you even argue that the violence in Syria is based on climate change, when that change is benefiting their farmlands??

  17. Her arms wide in supplication, Dejah Thoris waited for her hero John Carter Warty to return home.

    Who or what is this mysterious woman standing on a rock on Mars?

    AN IMAGE of what appears to be a long-haired woman looking out into space from the surface of Mars, has emerged.

    The alarmingly real-looking photo has led UFO hunters across the world to conclude the Mars maiden or “dark lady” proves that there “is life out there”.

    The eerie snap was even taken by the NASA Curiosity rover which is currently in the middle of a scientific search for life on the planet.

    UFO Sightings Daily are now convinced the shadow is definitely a woman because her breasts are visible.

      1. *Swiss Servator, his gaze narrowed*

    1. “””definitely a woman because her breasts are visible.”‘”

      OK, you got me to click on the link and yes I was disappointed.

      1. Those breasts are as life-like as any breast a member of “UFO Sightings Daily” has ever seen!

    2. “The alarmingly real-looking photo”

      Yeah, no.

      1. The photo is real. What is shown..?

    3. So instead of searching for extremophile bacteria and such we should have just been looking for chicks?

      1. Mars needs women; it is known.

      2. +1 What is the Earth thing called kissing?

    4. UFO Sightings Daily are now convinced the shadow is definitely a woman because her breasts are visible.

      And we all know people who work for UFO Sightings Daily would naturally be experts on what women’s breasts look like.

      1. Serious Man, this is the internet.

        Everyone here is a few clicks and some typing away from getting reference images.

    5. Apophenia is a hell of a drug.

  18. shadows
    don’t have
    unless their moans
    cry with goodwill
    and I love my
    earth surfboard
    because I crawl on
    him and then I
    become a future
    in space

    1. That’s my favorite issue of Silver Surfer, too.

      1. Now I have an image of Agile as the Silver Surfer – composing his verse as he traverses between the stars.

        1. Nice

  19. ?”Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte risks impeachment after he admitted ‘personally’ killing criminals when he was the mayor of Davao City, said two Philippine senators.”

    I’m assuming that’s two anonymous Philippine senators, or two soon-to-be-ex-Philippine senators. If you’re planning to impeach a guy like Duterte you do it with a bunch of guys with machetes.

    1. “Impeachment” is an old Tagalog term meaning “hacked to death”

  20. Shreek strikes again…

    Oops! Package Thief Surprised To Find He Stole A Bunch Of Poops

    “Since we’ve lived at this house we’ve had three packages stolen, so just trying to get back at somebody,” Zaremba said.

    Zaremba’s clever idea came from his best friend.

    “Our Great Dane had her first birthday so my wife threw her a birthday party. We had 7-8 dogs here.”

    As you can imagine lots of land mines. So Zaremba gathered the piles of poop and put them in the box, sealed it up and left it on the front porch. Sure enough, the thief took the bait.

    Riverside police eventually tracked down the alleged thief Daniel Aldama.

    1. They tracked him back to the Galactica?

      1. WRONG Spelling

        1. And we aint got no Dan in this clan

      2. Are you saying Ellen Tighe’s 13th skin job was the Commander’s son?!!?!?!

    2. I would have made it a box of hornets.

        1. Black Mamba. The amount of venom that can be delivered from a single bite can be gargantuan.

      1. I would have made it a box of hornets.

        The ol’ Charlie Day wedding present.

  21. Little known fact: the Clone Wars began during a Polo match.

    1. Begun the Clone Polo Wars have.

    2. Cool. I wish I had polo money.

  22. Yahoo has revealed that more than one billion Yahoo user accounts have been hacked.

    That’s a lot of spam email throwaway accounts no one actually uses.

  23. Indiana community lifts 60-year-old ban on pinball

    Deaf and blind, it wasn’t. But an Indiana community felt its 60-year-old ban on pinball was dumb.

    Surrounded by city officials at a local record shop on Tuesday, Kokomo Mayor Greg Goodnight signed an ordinance resting on pinball machine lifting the city’s ban on the game, the Kokomo Tribune reported. He couldn’t resist making a reference to The Who’s 1969 hit, “Pinball Wizard.”

    “This is pretty ironic. As we look back, I was reflecting that ever since I was a young boy, I played the silver ball. From Southway up to Morgan Street, I think I played them all,” Goodnight said.

    The mayor said he and city officials are pleased to “bring pinball back to its popular stature here in Kokomo,” and he invited the police chief, Rob Baker, to play the first legal game of pinball in the city since 1955.

    Pete Townshend is a pretty fucked up dude.

    1. I ain’t seen nothing like him, in any amusement hall. . .

  24. Warty Hugeman and The Girl With the Nazi-Ray Eyes: A Warty Hugeman Time Travel Adventure

    Chapter Four: Got Caught Raping An Angel, Got Caught Stealing Fire From The Sky

    They made savage love on the bodies of the dead guards. She screamed and bit him as he broke the thick band of her hymen with an audible pop. The girl reached up and tossed her glasses away, her swastika eyes boring into him. Warty turned her over and took her roughly from behind, slipping a spit-covered finger into her perfect pink anus. She ripped the faces of the guards as she scrabbled for purchase on the bodies, thrusting back ever more desperately, impaling herself on him. He slapped her bucking ass with his free hand and it sounded like a rifle shot in the empty spaces of his prison. He ejaculated again and again, mixing semen with her blood and the blood of the guards and the thick erotic discharge she produced in delightful excess.

    They parted and fell back together on their bed of ruined corpses. Her breathing was loud and ragged as the aftershocks of dozens of orgasms shook her body. She rolled over and tried to hug him to her, but Warty moved away.

    “Warty doesn’t snuggle,” he said. He wiped his still erect penis off with a guard’s hat and stood up. The light streaming down lit his muscles as he stretched like some enormous cat.

    “Warty Hugeman, you are a god,” she whispered. He grinned at her.

    1. “What is your name?” he asked.


      “Anna, put your clothes back on, we need to get out of here,” he told her. She nodded silently.

      Warty found the largest dead guard and pulled his clothes off. They barely fit him. He had to tuck his penis down one of the pant legs to get them on and settled for just an undershirt when the back tore out of the jacket. He found that their uniform’s holsters were all empty.

      “No guns? Where are the guns? I need lots and lots of guns. Big ones.”

      “None of the guards are armed,” she said. “I was never told why.”

      Her last act of getting dressed was putting her mirrored glasses back on. Warty looked at himself twinned in her eyes.

      “Do you have to wear those?” he asked.

      “Since the surgery,” she said. “I was not born like this. I’ve had? modifications.”

      “Did you want them?”

      “The ZietFuhrer wanted them. That was all that mattered.”

    2. “Let’s get out of here. They brought you through a portal, but you’ve been here before, right?”

      “Ja. I mean, yes,” she said.

      “Where would they keep the stuff I was wearing when you showed up?”

      “There is a central laboratory on the floor below us. The timesuit will be there, and most likely your pubic arsenal as well.”

      “You know about the timesuit?” he asked.

      “I have studied you my whole life, Warty Hugeman. Your history, your equipment, your travels, at least what we know of them. I was bred to destroy you. You are the reason I exist.” She took a couple steps back and looked at her feet.

      “Goddamn, that is fucking hot,” Warty said. “I’d take you right now if I didn’t need my stuff. Help me fuck The Baron up, and I’ll take to a place where MDMA is in the water fountains and every houseplant shits lube right into your hand.”

      Warty planted his foot in the crotch of the body he had stripped for its clothes and wrenched its right leg off. He swung it experimentally as a club.

      “I’m ready,” he said.

      Check back tomorrow for the thrilling conclusion.

      Catch up on the adventure so far.

      1. Thrilling conclusion?

        Will it end in “Warty Hugeman will return….”

      2. *checks to make sure the skin hasn’t melted off of my skull*

      3. “No guns? Where are the guns? I need lots and lots of guns. Big ones.”

        Someone’s compensating.

        1. No, no, no. He needs BIG guns because regular-sized guns just look ridiculous next to the Doomcock.

      4. “I’d take you right now if I didn’t need my stuff.”

        Nice pick-up line.

      5. “every houseplant shits lube right into your hand”

        The Garden of Earthly Delights?

      6. I really shouldn’t have read this at work.

    3. “Warty doesn’t snuggle,”


      1. Best part IMO.

    4. Even in the darkest days of the election I don’t think I was as disgusted as I am now.

  25. Car-licking moose prompts warning in southern Alberta

    Watch out for moose who like to lick vehicles.

    That’s a warning from the Alberta government for people visiting Peter Lougheed Provincial Park about 130 kilometres west of Calgary.

    Alberta Parks says moose are on the trails at Chester Lake and Burstall Pass and are coming into the trailhead parking lots to lick salt off the sides of vehicles.

    The government advises people to sound their horn to try to get the salt-lickers away from their vehicles.

    It also warns to not try to push a moose away from the vehicle.

    In Canada, a female moose weighs an average of 750 to 926 pounds and a male moose averages between 992 and 1,102 pounds.

    1. Its all fun and games now, but wait until they get their tongue stuck to a car.

      1. Aside from the parts that art plastic, the thin material used in the outer panels means there’s not enough conductivity to freeze the tongue in place during the brief contact. A thicker block of metal can do it, but the outer skin of cars lacks sufficient thermal mass to draw away the heat fast enough,

        1. ooh, look at Mr. Science here.

          1. UnCivilServant doesn’t like, among many other things, imprecision.

            1. It would be shorter to list the things he does like:

              [this space intentionally left blank]

              1. He likes his lawn, which you are apparently standing on.

              2. 1. Columbo
                2. caramel

                That’s all i got.

                1. 3. Warhammer 40K

        2. “the outer skin of cars lacks sufficient thermal mass to draw away the heat fast enough,”

          UCS ignores temperature differential, moisture, wind, etc.

    2. Somebody should warn those moose about licking metal in cold weather.

      1. They were triple dog dared – no choice but to do it.

    3. I first read that as ‘Cat-licking moose.’ Which, come to think of it, is probably a whole category on youtube.

  26. St. Louis Women Are Having More Sex Than Anyone Else

    The finding is from the app Eve, which was named Google Play’s “most innovative app” in 2016. The app tracks women’s menstrual cycle and sexual activity ? and has 500,000 users that have provided info about their love lives, presumably self-reporting more accurately than, say, your average Cosmo quiz.

    In other words, this thing is rock-solid science.

    Eve’s analysis found that St. Louis users report having the most sex, followed by Las Vegas, Detroit, Portland, Salt Lake City, and New York. Or, as Eve puts it, “Who won sex in 2016? To the women of St. Louis, MO: Way to get laid the most and beat out Las Vegas as 2016’s Sexiest City Gals.”

    Eve wouldn’t provide us with any more info about St. Louis’ sexy sex habits, so we can’t tell you just how much your average Gateway City gal is getting. However, they do report that Aquarians are leading the Zodiac in sexual activity ? so if you’re an Aquarius and a St. Louis resident, you’re doubly lucky.

    1. What’s the average number of STDs per St Louis woman?

    2. They’re going to have to change their motto to the “Do Me State”

        1. Is that the “tramp stamp of approval”?

    3. My oldest and best friend just moved back to St Louis(committed bachelor) so I am not surprised by this story.

    4. “Meet me in St. Louis, Louis, meet me at the clinic.”

      1. “Meet me in St. Louis, Louis, let’s have an affair.”

        1. “Meet me in Salt Lake City, Conway Twitty, all your wives will be there.”

    5. In other words, this thing is rock-solid

      Harder than Chinese ‘rithmatic!

    6. I live near STL! Where’s all this pussy that is being grabbed at???

  27. An operation to evacuate the Syrian city of Aleppo is currently underway.

    I thought we weren’t supposed to know or care about Aleppo.

    1. Nonsense, Aleppo is the most important indicator of foreign policy expertise. Which is why all the candidates were asked about it… uh, well they asked one, at least.

  28. Keith Olbermann Loses It: US Military Will Soon Be Controlled By ‘Scum’ Beholden To ‘Russian Scum’

    “The nation and all of our freedoms hang by a thread. And the military apparatus of this country is about to be handed over to scum who are beholden to scum, Russian scum. As things are today, January 20th will not be an inauguration but rather the end of the United States as an independent country. It will not be a peaceful change of power. It will be a usurpation. And the usurper has no validity, no credibility and no authority under the constitution. This is a reality that will become the only reality until this country rids itself of Donald John Trump. He is not a President.”

    1. “Loses it” would imply he ever “had it”. The last time he was sane was when he was manning SportsCenter with Dan Patrick.

      1. That was at least on-air sane. Heard he was always a giant douche off-air.

        1. Of course he was, which is why he hasn’t stayed at any one place for very long since he left ESPN

        2. Yep, even politically sympathetic fellow liberals who know him can’t stand him.

          It’s why the guy who was once one of the biggest stars of ESPN and MSNBC is now a loser with a webcast and no audience.


      1. *drops coffee mug – gapes in wonder, rises to applaud*

    3. I like the word ‘Usurper’.

    4. Even Alex Jones presents facts to back up some of his claims.

      This idiot is just screaming like a crazy person. Isn’t this ‘fake news’?

      Holy shit they’ve lost their minds. Someone should cull every single one of their quotes, videos, articles and make a book and painting out of it. So that we all REMEMBER how fucken retarded they are.

      Also. It’s interesting to note the majority of the comments think it’s insane but he has more thumbs up – which I’m suspicious of. Usually the sentiments in the comments match the thumb ups/downs.

      1. If it weren’t a proggie doing this about a President they hate, they’d be spinning up the wheels about his treasonous, terroristic rhetoric. It would be on every news channel about how that evil Republican was trying to start a war with a nuclear power and/or with the American people (civil war 2). They’d blare non-stop how the Republican was dangerous and unhinged.

        Then you read the responses and most are from proggies supporting what he had to say.

    5. I’m gonna go watch dramatic chipmunk now. It’s been far too long.

    6. Keith Olbermann is like the Glenn Beck of the Left, only without ever stumbling across a sane point occasionally.

      1. Have to disagree. Beck is far more sentient and coherent.

        1. Sorry for garbling the message, that is what I meant.

    7. So he’s basically advocating civil war now?

      1. The (more unhinged element of the) left has, in the span of a few weeks, and over such a petty matter as losing a Presidential election, decided that all of the following–which were previously signs of the fact that right-wingers are insane, neo-Confederate, racist, violent warmongers–are now acceptable, and in fact desirable:

        – Changing election outcomes
        – Suppressing votes
        – Seccession
        – Civil war

        1. Unintentional omissions:

          – Harassing political opponents
          – Obstructing the President

          1. – No-shit political violence, you know, the kind they predicted Trump voters would perpetrate

      2. You say pizzagate i say putingate, in the end the are both fake news

  29. Trump’s $6 Billion Cabinet: Mostly Men, Mostly White and Not Much Government Experience

    Donald Trump is building a cabinet in his own image. The first billionaire U.S. president has appointed two billionaires and at least nine millionaires, with a combined net worth of about $5.6 billion, to run government departments. Two appointees to cabinet or cabinet-level positions are former generals. And fewer than half have any prior government experience. Many of Trump’s nominees have close ties to Wall Street and corporate America. Altogether, his cabinet is shaping up to look a lot different from his predecessors.

    The expansive corporate connections, collective wealth and varied policy goals of Trump’s cabinet-level picks say a lot about the priorities set to shape his administration. Here are Trump’s cabinet nominees so far, in order of their succession to the presidency.


    1. 1. Like every other cabinet
      2. Like Every other cabinet
      3. YES!!

      1. No. The Obama and Clinton cabinets weren’t millionaires until AFTER they were sworn in.

    2. Isn’t mostly men just the flip side of ” incredibly diverse cabinet”

  30. ‘Social and Emotional Learning’ and other nonsense responsible for dismal test scores

    U.S. education test scores have become embarrassingly bad. The latest results from the Program for International Student Assessment (PISA) are in, and the United States scored below average, as usual. American 15-year-olds performed worse in science this year than they did in 2012 (the last time the test was given), had stagnant scores in reading, and came in 31st place in math out of the 35 industrialized nations that took the test.

    The Washington Post’s Valerie Strauss blames the dreadful test results partially on “reformers.”

    “In fact, U.S. students have never done well?not in the history of international tests, including when the American public education system wasn’t under attack by reformers as it is now,” Strauss wrote. She also excuses the dismal scores because, according to her assessment, “Many critics say [the PISA test] is flawed.”

    1. U.S. students have never done well?-not in the history of international tests

      I wonder if that history goes back to the last time “reformers” got their hooks on the system.

    2. If you disaggregate by race, is that still true? Hasn’t been before.

  31. An operation to evacuate the Syrian city of Aleppo is currently underway.

    “Operation Smoke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em”

    1. Seriously: What a horrible situation. 8-(

      That image of the guy abandoning his dying wife really got me.

      1. It is heartbreaking at a basic human level. However, Muslims are mentally unhinged murderous psychopaths who adamantly refuse to join modern civilized humanity with the rest of us. They’re the architects of almost all of their misery, and I simply don’t feel sorry for them.

        But I do feel sorry for the small number of Christians and “others” who are still there and somehow weren’t exterminated or driven out already.

        1. Your psychopathy and your stupidity are locked in a desperate struggle for dominance.

          1. Go work on your fiction porn some more, retard.

            1. Witty and devastating as always.

              1. Careful. If you keep picking on Mikey he’ll start accusing you of wanting to sleep with him and/or “so called President” Barack Obama.

            2. “fiction porn”

              So it’s not a thinly disguised autobiography? I has a sad.

            3. Don’t worry about sugarfree, DD.

              He’s the guy who thinks other people are fucked up becasue they can process sugar.

              His stories blow but he thinks they’re witty or something. I find most of his posts tiresome.

        2. Next time I see my cousins, I’ll make sure to inform them that they are unhinged murderous psychopaths. Particularly the one who works as an analyst for Sungard Financial.

          1. That may be his job but you know his hobby is throwing fags off rooftops.

            1. No,no! Crushing them with wallz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

              1. He throws them off the top of the wall and THEN knocks it over on them!

          2. To be fair, the closest Mikey has ever gotten to a Muslim is when he drove by the local 7-11 and told the Sikh clerk to go back to Africa.

        3. You know, just because the left is full of lying shitbags doesn’t mean it’s desirable or justifiable to be a lying shitbag in the other direction.

          1. But that’s all Mikey’s got!

        4. Mike,
          Stick to name calling.

  32. This morning t was 7 degrees here. Now we’re up to 10. *eyes the gin bottle*

    1. Wait… there is no gin! *puts on snow shoes*

    2. 69 (nice) here right now.

      1. 69 (nice)

        I prefer an overwhelming 96.

    3. I just took a temporary assignment with my company that moved me from North Ohio to Louisiana for December through March. It was 55 this morning but I haven’t been assed to change the location on the weather app on my phone, so it informed me it was 1 degree when I checked it.

      Yeah, getting to do the professional equivalent of snowbirding this year isn’t too damn bad.

    4. Jeez, and I thought 25 in NYC was bad.

  33. 1000 Muslims block London streets chanting Allahu Akbar to demand Islamic caliphate

    A poet invited to talk shouted: “We need a Caliph who will clean up these streets.”

    *** facepalm ***

    1. Is there anything mass immigration can’t do?

      1. Protect western civilization?

      2. Assimilate?

    2. “We need a Caliph who will clean up these streets”

      He’ll drink a pina colada at Trader Vic’s, and his hair will be perfect.

    3. Sharif don’t like it.

    4. chanting Allahu Akbar to demand Islamic caliphate

      I heard there’s one brewing in the ME. Why don’t they go there?

  34. Is this that “Fake News” stuff I keep hearing about?

    A Muslim student who said she was harassed on the subway by drunken, hate-spewing white men shouting “Donald Trump!” lied to police because she broke her curfew, law enforcement sources said Wednesday.

    Yasmin Seweid, 18, joined a growing list of local and national alleged hate-crime victims when she told cops she was taunted Dec. 1 on the No. 6 train by three men who called her a terrorist and tried to snatch her hijab off her head while straphangers did nothing.

    Also, would. Even with the shaved head.

    1. The kicker is that she made it up because she was out after curfew and needed an excuse for her parents.

      In any case, will the SPLC be revising their hate crimes watch list?

      1. Out after her curfew = a candidate for honor killing by her dad.

        1. But… Trump!!

        2. Oh, and dating a Christian.

    2. Police sources say Seweid made up the story because she didn’t want to get in trouble for breaking her curfew after being out late drinking with friends.

      So, you see, she’s not a *real* Muslim.

    3. +1 Wood

    4. “Doesn’t matter. It’s already banked in the ‘spiked violence against Muslism’ data bank! Too bad!”

    5. It’s like we share a brain, brother!


    6. I’d like to think that ordinary New Yorkers are an ornery enough bunch that if they saw something like this fake event happening, the three men would start getting yelled at, then beat the shit out of for harassing her.

      1. It’s no longer your father’s New York.

    7. Her strict, Muslim parents allegedly forced Seweid to shave her head over the incident and were upset that she was dating a Christian, sources said.

      So tolerant!

      In a bizarre twist, Seweid’s older brother, Abdoul, was also charged with falsely reporting an incident back in 2012.

      Shades of clockboy here.

  35. “American intelligence officials say they are convinced that Russian hacking of our presidential election was approved by President Vladimir Putin.”

    Meanwhile, a guy from WikiLeaks is claiming the emails were leaked to him by a disgruntled DNC staffer.

    Given the respective track records of the CIA and WikiLeaks in recent years, I’m inclined to trust WikiLeaks.

    1. Was it that staffer who got made dead fairly soon after all this?

      1. Probably

      2. Was that the one they pulled a trick from Clancy’s book and “Walked into traffic”?

        1. He was “randomly” mugged while walking home one night, IIRC

          1. A mugging where nothing was stolen.

            1. It’s far likelier that he tussled with his would-be mugger and was murdered, and his murderer fled immediately.

              1. You’ve seen the average DC Democratic campaign staffer, right? Those pajama boys are not tussling with anyone.

    2. “American intelligence officials say they are convinced that Russian hacking of our presidential election was approved by President Vladimir Putin.”

      To make this determination American Intelligence must be hacking and spying the shit out of the Russians and their President, most likely approved by the POTUS.

  36. Attorneys for officer claim Castile was high on marijuana, not responsive to commands

    Lawyers for Jeronimo Yanez filed a motion to dismiss the manslaughter charge filed against him in November. In an eight-page memo supporting the motion, lawyer Earl Gray wrote that Castile was culpably negligent in his own death because he had created “unreasonable risk” and took chances that caused his death.

    1. Police officers shouldn’t be allowed anything more dangerous than one of those orange plastic water guns

  37. Who saw this coming? Muslim parents force daughter, 18, to shave her head for ‘going out drinking and having Christian boyfriend’ – and lying to cops about Trump supporters’ racial attack to cover her tracks

    A Muslim teenager accused of lying to police about being racially abused by three drunk Trump supporters on a Manhattan train appeared in court with a shaved head – an apparent punishment ordered by her Egyptian parents for bringing shame to their family.

    The 18-year-old claimed she was singled out by hate-spewing Trump supporters on December 1 who branded her a ‘terrorist’ and tried to rip off her hijab when she boarded a subway on her way home from college.

    She shared details of the ordeal on Facebook and won the support of other social media users.

    Days after reporting the crime, Seweid went missing, sparking a missing person’s appeal and another large police effort.

    Sources say she made up the elaborate story to cover up for the fact she had been out drinking late with friends.

    First, she looks good with the shaved head – bad move, stupid parents. Second, these stories are so incredibly pointless, and the fact they receive so much attention should embarrass everyone who claims to be fairly intelligent.

    1. I’m confused. Since her head is shaved, she no longer has to wear a hijab? You’d think you see more Muslim women going full Britney to get out of that thing.

      1. I think her parents realized that no one would see her punishment, and it would be less effective.

      2. full Britney

        So… no panties, either?

    2. Why do I these lyrics pop into my head:

      Since you been gone I can do whatever I want
      I can see whomever I choose
      I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
      But nothing
      I said nothing can take away these blues
      ‘Cause nothing compares
      Nothing compares to you

      1. Let’s see her rip up a picture of Allah.

    3. “parents force daughter”

      Reads more like “parents told daughter” to which she willingly complied probably to continue receiving free room and board.

      1. Duuuude, threatening to not provide free shit with no strings attached is FORCE. /juvenile-prog-derp

  38. The Judge’s take on election fraud in Michigan. Thanks Jill!


    The real story is that Trump won despite the Democrats’ hacking.

    1. So Putin was supporting Hillary with his election fraud machine?

      1. No you idiot, putin is the only reason trump could have won, cause Hillary had it rigged in the bag

    2. Now we know why they were reluctant to ask for a recount.

  39. Chutzpah: Skating away from any criminal charges for leaving an unsecured private server full of government secrets, and all but openly selling favors to some foreign governments for “donations” to a foundation in your family name, then claiming it is foul play when, after that server is hacked by pretty much every intelligence agency on the planet, one of the governments that you didn’t sell favors to and pretty much threatened to bomb when elected, and so has a rational interest in her not getting elected, releases true facts from those unsecured emails that accurately portray you as an unrepentent liar, which turns out to not sit well with many of the good citizens of WI, PA, and MI who think some semblance of honesty is a good thing.

    Instead of calling that “foul play” what it is — unintended but entirely foreseeable consequences.


    1. You left our that she also hired thugs to incite violence at her opponent’s rallies

  40. Trying to woo Republican voters to defect in the Electoral College vote?

    Clearly what this situation requires is a montage of left-wing celebrities.

    Because as we know, if there’s one thing hard-core Republican party activists love, it’s condescending lectures from left-wing celebrities. Right? RIGHT!?

    1. “Well, I am convinced now!”


    2. I’m guessing the number of them that actually know the constitutional qualifications for president is Less Than Zero.

      1. I’m more in awe of the tone-deafness of thinking that video would be anything but counterproductive.

      2. I prefer the Zero Effect.

        Now, a few words on looking for things. When you go looking for something specific, your chances of finding it are very bad. Because of all the things in the world, you’re only looking for one of them. When you go looking for anything at all, your chances of finding it are very good. Because of all the things in the world, you’re sure to find some of them.

        1. Zero Effect is a highly underrated movie.

          Really brought out the big guns for this. In this one, I recognize Sheen, Bob Odenkirk, Debra Messing, Mike Farrell, Loretta Swit, BD Wong, and Moby (fucking Moby? Really?). The rest of them could have been culled from the staff of the local Old Navy for all I know. James Cromwell, though? That’s a shame.

          “Comments for this video are disabled” hahahahaha…I’m shocked.

          1. James Cromwell is nuts. He lives part-time in my area, and spends much of that time protesting a natural gas power plant, chaining himself to gates, speaking at Bernie rallies, getting thrown out of events, etc. Stop.

            1. I somehow read that as chainsawing himself to gates

          2. I have successfully isolated myself from culture to a significant enough degree that I only recognized three of those people. That seems like a fail but with the current state of celebrity culture I’m pretty sure I’m coming out ahead for my ignorance.

            (Odenkirk, Sheen and Moby fwiw)

    3. Wow. I got almost all the way through that. Who was the woman with the giant mouth? Looks like it’s intended for eating basketballs or sifting plankton from the ocean.

    4. Supports my initial theory that the Dems’ take-away from this election will be “We weren’t condescending enough”

      Just embarrassing. If anything, this might sway a few democrat electors to Trump.

  41. Feinstein: Hillary ‘Hurting’ After ‘the Name-Calling, the Email Intrusion’


    1. Ordering your surrogates to treat your opponents like scum for forty years is nothing compared to being called a nasty woman. Nothing.

    2. My thoughts and prayers are with her.

      1. Aren’t you an atheist…

      2. “God, Please take Hillary into your loving bosom. Preferrably immediately.”

        1. Look, i have seen some shit in my life, but God ain’t done anything to deserve THAT.

  42. “Federal judges rule state’s restrictions on guns are ‘reasonable'”

    The 9th tosses up another BP fastball.

  43. BREAKING NEWS (from a few months ago)Obama Blasts Trump’s “Rigged” Election Remarks As “Ridiculous”

    “Of course the elections will not be rigged, what does that mean? asked President Barack Obama today in a press conference at the Pentagon. Covered live by cable news and NBC, the incumbent was responding to a question about comments a down-in-the-polls Republican hopeful Donald Trump made publicly this week saying he believes the election is fixed against him. “If you want to be President, you have to start acting like a President,” Obama mocked Trump in a bit more of a low key tone than of late.

    “If Mr. Trump is suggesting that there is a conspiracy theory that is being propagated across the country, including in places like Texas, where typically it’s not Democrats who are in charge of voting booths, that’s ridiculous,” Obama said of the ex-Celebrity Apprentice host, seemingly both trying to stifle a laugh and amazed he had to answer such questions. “That doesn’t make any sense and I don’t think anybody would take that seriously.”

    1. Of course the elections will not be rigged, what does that mean? asked President Barack Obama today in a press conference at the Pentagon.

      “Why should I go to the intel briefing about this? It’s all the same thing every day anyhow!!”

    2. Man, either Trump made that comment on purpose in preparation for the Democrats declaring election fraud after his win, or he’s some kind of idiot savant. I hope for the latter of cases, because it’d be funnier that way, and then he’d accidentally bumble his way into making America great for real.

      1. Man, either Trump made that comment on purpose in preparation for the Democrats declaring election fraud after his win, or he’s some kind of idiot savant

        I think it’s more likely that he’s the first Republican to act in a manner that recognizes that the Democrats will never argue anything in good faith or principle, and so throws out these things that easily triggers them because he knows they’re so reactionary about everything.

        The flag-burning tweet was a good example of this–I don’t think it was a coincidence that the tweet proposed a jail term that was exactly the same as what Hillary proposed in her own flag-burning bill as Senator, and it had the added effect of getting a bunch of SJWs to burn flags and make themselves look completely unsympathetic in the process.

  44. completely OT: I’m listening to Moose right now. Another band from the early 90s that were lost in the grunge explosion.

    kinda shoegaze but with more pop:

  45. This morning t was 7 degrees here. Now we’re up to 10

    Yesterday it was -6 when I looked. Last week it was -14. Those are red-blooded American degrees, too; not some faky Eurocrat imitation degrees.

    1. I played golf today. Temp about 85 degrees. Caddy’s name was “Gook”.

    2. -9 here right now. Windchill is -21. Damn “polar vortex.” Saturday night it’s supposed to get down to -23. That’s air temp, not windchill.

    1. I’ll watch – if they are in a galaxy without clothing.

      1. SPOCK: “Captain, we are now orbiting the planet Nudebeachia.”

        KIRK: “OK, let me check the scanner…uh huh, uh huh…there! Beam me down in the Coeds with Daddy Issues beach.”

        SPOCK: “Captain, what about the Prime Directive?”

        KIRK: “I’ve only got one prime directive, and I’m feeling it now.”

        SPOCK: “Logically, this sketch should be posted in response to a Star Wars thread.”

          1. Dyslexia is a really crippling disability for Vulcans.

    2. As I recall, JLaw was given a very prominent role in the last X-Men movie, grossly miscast as Mystique, and the proggies all complained that the movie promoted violence against women.

      Then again, I shouldn’t be surprised that social justice warriors viewed Apocalypse as the protagonist in that movie. TOP MAN trying to bring perfection to the world through force and conformity of thought.

    3. Felicity Jones

      Don’t tell me that’s not a porn name.

  46. A poet invited to talk shouted: “We need a Caliph who will clean up these streets.”


  47. TSA Agents Confiscate Huge Teddy Bear, Give Him Detailed Backstory About How He’s Homeless and Hungry Now in Order to Remind Us That Everything Is Bad

    From the TSA Instagram feed:

    Why does this gigantic teddy bear look so sad? He was abandoned by his owners at LAX after the airline and TSA determined that he was just too big to be screened as a carry-on and taken on the plane. It’s a good idea to check with your airline prior to traveling with overly large items as cary-ons. [sic] If you see this wayward bear strolling the streets of LA, please feel free to feed him. #TSATravelTips

    1. *looks at dictionary under abandoned* im not sure thats the word you want to use.

    2. So… are they ~trying~ to make themselves look like mustache twirling villains??

      “Mwahahaha!! Look and behold!! Some peasant did not follow our Glorious Rules, and as a result a child has lost a potentially beloved teddy bear!! Our decisions cause children to cry, so you’d best learn our rules and comply!! Mwahahahahaha!!”

      1. Look on my works, ye childs, and de-bear!

  48. Apparently, Trump has picked Zinke (Montana’s Congressman) for Interior. I have a nasty suspicion that means Governor Bullock gets to appoint a (Demo) replacement.

  49. hacking of our presidential election

    What the fuck does that mean?

    1. It’s code for Russophobia. It’s racism in disguise.

    2. It means they influenced voters by exposing corruption at the DNC and msm. Which is totally outrageous. Because only NAZI warmongers what political corruption exposed.

      1. We should just shut up and fall in line. The DNC knows what’s best for us all. It’s treasonous to question their good intentions.

        1. Let’s Make America Divide Again. Don’t you also want the second civil war for Christmas?

  50. Unnamed sources. Anonymous officials. Rumors. It just had to be.

    What a crock of shit. We are trying to hack everyone else and everyone else is trying to hack us. Who expects different? We were assured over and over that Russia, china etc never had access to HC’s email. Now they did and that means she should be president? WTF?

    You lost Dems. Suck it up.

  51. The intelligence apparatus is desperately trying to coalesce around a single narrative for the Russian hacking. The reason is that they have long been extorting the tech companies with “Give us access to your tech and censor your content otherwise the terrists gonna getcha!” However the split in the intelligence community over basic facts undermines the credibility of these threats. Tech is waking up. The main question is whether they will resist it, or will play along hoping for a bigger payoff. E.g. Theil’s Palantir stands to make billions for surveillance ops under Trump’s police state. But it’s pretty funny because it really is a neo-McCarthyist witch hunt and they’ll find nothing. (Other than grant themselves broad new powers to investigate ‘foreign meddling’ and ‘corrupting the good conscience of our nation’.)

    1. No one likes you, Alice.

      1. Weird – what kind of person doesn’t love their own APOTHEOSIS?

  52. In my travels around the internet for the past year, I’ve been subjected to several times more Russian propaganda than the most rabid Trumpkin. Yet I voted for Johnson. How to explain that?

    1. You’re all about the Johnson.

  53. At least she died doing what she loved…

    Mother dies after falling into huge vat of melted chocolate

    Svetlana Roslina, 24, is believed to have been crushed to death as she tried to get out of the vat at the factory in Fedortsovo, north of Moscow.

    There are mixed accounts as to how she ended up in the vat with one witness saying she was emptying ingredients into the container while another said that she was trying to retrieve her mobile phone.

    A local source said: ‘She was minced. Only her legs were left.’

    However, other people have claimed she died while emptying ingredients into the industrial mixer.

      1. Heh, that was my first reaction, too. Guess I’ll be joining you

    1. I’m not going to sugarcoat it: she was in a sticky situation, a real hot mess.

  54. and fuel for the Warty Rage Machine

    Man ‘livestreams execution of kitten after it defecated in his bed’

    A man has livestreamed the execution of a little kitten after it allegedly defecated in his bed.

    The unnamed man reportedly livestreamed the cruel event online before posting horrific images of the dead cat with various items including a knife.

    In one of the images, the cat appears to be hanged by what looks like a green skipping rope.

    The incident is believed to have taken place in Russia but it is unclear who the man is.

    People immediately posted under the pictures saying they could not believe anyone could be so cruel.

  55. Trumpocalypse!

    The events we’ve seen in the run-up to the inauguration of President-elect Donald Trump have only confirmed that he represents a threat to our democracy and governing norms in multiple unprecedented ways. But this isn’t just a story about Donald Trump. It’s also a story about congressional Republicans.

    Trump is doing all he can to discredit the apparent CIA conclusion that Russia tried to interfere in our election, which might make a true accounting of this apparently unprecedented assault on our democracy harder. He continues to suggest he will do little to address all the potential conflicts of interests ? and possibility of corruption ? that are developing around his global business interests on a mind-boggling scale. He continues to claim ? after an election he won ? that millions voted illegally, to sow confusion and

    Trump is Putin’s puppet, dancing on the grave of liberal democracy. Pack your toothbrush, and head for the train station.

    Maybe Greg Sargent is available for a regular column in reason.

  56. Am I too late to find out what is going on with this hacking thing?

    They keep citing “intelligence officials” and “the CIA report” in a “the science is settled” sort of way in the mainstream media and then in commentary based on those media reports.

    But I thought the Times had “unnamed sources” in the administration who told them that “people in the CIA” are sure that it was the Russians.

    In other words, someone who is a big Hillary supporter in the administration went to the post and said that their buddy over at CIA told them that it was all totally Russia’s fault.

    And now we have “intelligence sources’ and intelligence officials” saying it has to be all Putin’s doing. Because he totes hates Hill-Dog, or something.

    So are we pretending that this is really the CIA position, even though the official CIA position is that they won’t say anything, not even to Congress?

    And how exactly did the science get settled and all 17 US intelligence agencies agree that it is the Russians if none of them have issued any official findings of any sort? Everything keeps being “sources” saying something. Why isn’t the CIA director on record on this. Or Comey? Or any of the other 15 intelligence agencies that we don’t seem to have any comment from – but somehow it is totally common knowledge that they all totally agree about this?

    What is going on here? Do reasonites have a clue? Assange and his former Brit Ambassador say not Russians. Who do we believe?

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