Brickbats

Brickbat: Ain't You a Peach

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peaches
Photo25th / Dreamstime.com

Florida's Silver Trail Middle School suspended an 11-year-old girl for six days for bringing a child's butter knife to school. Officials discovered the knife when the girl used it to slice a peach at lunch. The Pembroke Pines police department was called in to investigate the matter and turned over its findings to local prosecutors to decide whether to file criminal charges against the girl.

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  1. Well, according to Policy 5.8: Code of Student Conduct 2013-2016

    Broward County Public Schools firmly believes a positive school culture promotes equal
    educational opportunity and establishes the framework for a safe learning environment.

    […]

    Other Criminal Incidents (Including, But Not Limited To)
    Having and/or hiding a weapon (see definitions of weapons, see p. 58).

    […]

    Definition of Weapons
    For purposes of this policy, weapons are defined in two categories, Class “A” or Class “B.”

    […]

    Use/Possession/Transmittal of Class B weapons include:

    […]

    Knives – Blunt-bladed table knives and common pocketknives.

    1. “The Pembroke Pines police department was called in to investigate the matter and turned over its findings to local prosecutors to decide whether to file criminal charges against the girl.”

      It appears that technically the girl violated a school board policy, but I’m having trouble seeing what her “crime” was.
      Is there a lawyer in the house? Are public school regulations criminal statutes?

      1. Is there a lawyer in the house? Are public school regulations criminal statutes?

        IANAL, but there’s this from the 2016 Florida Statutes:

        790.10?Improper exhibition of dangerous weapons or firearms.?If any person having or carrying any dirk, sword, sword cane, firearm, electric weapon or device, or other weapon shall, in the presence of one or more persons, exhibit the same in a rude, careless, angry, or threatening manner, not in necessary self-defense, the person so offending shall be guilty of a misdemeanor of the first degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or s. 775.083.

        Maybe because she exhibited a Class B weapon as defined by public school policy in contravention of the same school policy, it can be claimed that she was careless, i.e. by failing to observe the school policy prohibition on possession of weapons on school property.

        I know that it is a tortured way of interpreting the criminal statute with reference to public school polices, but hey: cops make a living by pinching citizens under any pretext. If the DA declines to charge, the cops can always say that they did their part.

        1. Yeah, that’s what irked me was the school is defining “weapon” and then expecting the criminal court system to follow their lead.

          But even if a butter knife gets defined as a “weapon”, there was nothing careless about using it on a peach.

          It would be so nice to have a policeman or DA say to the school, “WTF is wrong with you bothering us with this chickenshit”?

        2. Can she use the now famous Hillary Clinton defense? Careless, but “no intent”?

  2. She dodged a bullet. Imagine the consequences if she used the knife to spread peanut butter. I hope she now has the proper disrespect for authority.

    1. The State is the biggest bully of them all.

      1. This comment works for almost all brickbats. No fair.

  3. I guess she does dare to eat a peach.

    1. really love her peaches, want to shake her tree…

      1. Eat A Peach…Allman Brothers, not Steve Miller!

        1. correct, so fucking what?

          1. Fuck me, I guess. I can live with it.

      2. Shouldn’t that be a comment from OMWC?

    2. My English teacher asked if we got that line, never told us what the answer was. Closest I could figure was that he was afraid he’d have peach juice run on his face.

  4. Their school their rules, don’t like it send little Miss Too Sophisticated To Eat Fruit Like A Normal Person somewhere else.

    Bet she sticks her pinky out when drinking her t Anhui emerald seed tea, pompous little so and…..

  5. Commonsense Butter Knife Control Now!

    For the Children!

    1. no one needs a high capacity butter knife or an assault butter knife!

    2. War Daddy agrees.

      1. Close the butter knife loop hole!!!

      2. Close the butter knife loop hole!!!

      3. And feed those squirrels a peach, already!

        1. but we hatez the peaches!

  6. “She’s always trying to help someone. She’s always trying to share things,” Souto said about his daughter

    See. she’s even worse than I thought.

    1. just imagine giving fruit away…oh the horror

  7. It is truly senseless and does reflects poorly upon the type of educators and law enforcement involved in this case.

    That kind of tactic doesn’t work on the shameless.

  8. Hope she told them to go spork themselves.

  9. It’s in Broward County. That name should ring a bell or two.

  10. She had a knife in her hands and they didn’t shoot her? Very irresponsible. Some authoritarian might have had their giant heart cut out by that mini Manson.

  11. Do they not hand out nearly identical knives in the cafeteria? And who the fuck defines a butter knife as a weapon?

    This is what happens when Florida Man is in charge.

    1. Do they not hand out nearly identical knives in the cafeteria?

      Not when I was in shcool. The ones they handed out were plastic – and rather sharp due to the edge being augmented by flash from worn molds.

      1. We had knives…or rather flat steel bars with no edge. The only time I remember a fight in the lunchroom one kid used a fork as a weapon, not a ‘knife’.

        1. One would use a Bic pen before a the knife.

      2. IIRC Airlines had switched from metal steak knives to plastic and back after realizing that the plastic knives were sharper.

  12. Insanity.

    And they wonder why they lost.

    I wonder if any of the school administrators can be prosecuted.

  13. The real crime is that she is eating a peach. This is Florida, not Georgia, eat a damn orange!

    1. Did you stop and ask if she identified as Georgian that day?

  14. Shut down government-run schools and set up universal vouchers.

  15. Didn’t schools used to have shop classes with forges, metalsmithing, engineering, and even rifle ranges inside the school?

    Now everyone shit’s their pants over a child’s pearing knife.

    1. pearing, paring or pairing? that’s 3 knives surely enough for a felony conviction & death sentence

    2. Just wait until some kid uses a straw and wad of wet paper to form a crude blow dart. How will those ever vigilant progressives solve that problem?

      And what about all those volcanoes and potato batteries at the science fairs? How can we protect the children with all those dangerous things?

  16. I always hate the parent trying to sound reasonable. They should have said,”don’t do it again”. Sorry, don’t give any validity to moronic rules like this.

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