Brickbats

Brickbat: Jordan Rules

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Michael Jordan
DOD

For the past 18 years, Peter Colino has dressed as Michael Jordan, complete with a Jordan mask, for Halloween when he goes to work as a teacher at Seattle's Ingraham High School. Colino, who is white, says he's a major Jordan fan and only wants to pay tribute to the basketball player. But this year, some students told him the costume was cultural appropriation and wrong. Colino took off the mask, but days later school officials suspended him.

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  1. Colino was among the 2,000 Seattle teachers who wore a Black Lives Matter T-shirt as part of a districtwide show of solidarity in September.

    2001 Dalmatians.

    1. Ah, so he has been eaten by his own.

      1. Just like the man from Nantucket.

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      2. Sorry, but after listening to that grovelling confession of wrongthink, how he doesn’t want students to defend him, how he knows it was wrong and he is so sorry…

        “”It was my little daughter,” said Parsons with a sort of doleful pride. “She listened at the keyhole. Heard what I was saying, and nipped off to the patrols the very next day. Pretty smart for a nipper of seven, eh? I don’t bear her any grudge for it. In fact I’m proud of her. It shows I brought her up in the right spirit, anyway.””

        1. You know who else wanted children to tell on their parents?

        2. Absolutely. Screw him. If he wants to self immolate, ?????

          1. Fancy guy over here bustin’ out the Japanese!!! Oooooooooohhh, so cool……

            Can I get some tentacle porn?

            1. Figured seppuku deserves the original language. (Actually, accidental)

              1. They don’t have a kanji for it?

                1. Bet they do, but it would be weird. Douzou (go ahead, please, by all means) is always written in hiragana….

  2. Colino is not the one who took off the mask.

  3. But this year, some students told him the costume was cultural appropriation and wrong.

    These totalitarian shits need to be told to fuck off.

    1. Michael Jordan is not part of American culture in those student’s view?

      Nike needs to give back all that money they made selling Air Jordans

    2. well, given the origin of basketball, no more African Americans in the NBA…

      1. All organized sports for that matter.

        1. are you saying that African Americans are disorganized?

          1. If only there was some person who could… organize the community. We shall make him president for eight years. And racism in America will cease.

  4. he was placed on paid administrative leave pending an investigation.

    I like how they are always going to investigate, do you think they hire Sam Spade or Mike Hammer, or is this more of a Rockford type case?

    1. Thomson and Thompson are on it.

      1. +1 Tintin

        1. “Our conclusion is that Michael Jordan has appropriated this teacher’s culture.”

          “To be precise, his culture is not appropriate.”

    2. Car chases, so Imma say Rockford. He makes them exciting, his Firebird can only barely outrun delivery trucks.

    3. Jake & the Fat Man? Im a fat man fan.

  5. Suspended for what? Wearing the same thing for 18 years in a row? I’d say the precedent in that time period. I hope he sues their asses off.

    1. precedent was set,crap

  6. So Michael Jordon is a culture now?

    1. And how do you *dress* as Michael Jordan? Put on some Hanes t-shirts? Wear a really expensive watch?

      He put on a Michael Jordan mask for 18 years – he didn’t ‘dress up like him’.

      1. And how do you *dress* as Michael Jordan?

        Long athletic shorts. #23 Jersey. Air Jordans. Compression sleeve on left elbow and left calf. Chewing gum. Massive, imperturbable ego. Do this and people will know who you are with or without the mask.

      2. You know who else besides Michael Jordan used to wear a little Hitler moustache?

    2. leave anything out long enough and you get culture…

  7. But this year, some students told him the costume was cultural appropriation and wrong.

    Sounds kinda harsh to expel him over something he’s done for many years. After-school detention or something might be more appropriate. In some ways, I suppose you could even say it’s the students’ fault for not doing a better job educating their teacher. If the schools only had more money maybe they could hire better students to teach the adults the things they need to know. You get bad students, they do a poor job of running the schools and then the adults are never prepared for the real world the way they need to be. That’s how you get adults that run around doing retarded-ass shit, acting like babies and whatnot, because they never learned how to act like adults.

    1. Maybe the instructors of the How Not To Rape class that we are all supposed to be going to could tack on a few extra hours of instruction on How Not To Culturally Appropriate Stuff?

  8. So he can’t do something because of his race, and race and culture are inextricable?

    Geeze, its racist all the way down.

  9. He can be Larry Bird. That’s fair game for everyone. He’s the universal donor of culture.

  10. ‘Like Mike, you cannot be like Mike.”

  11. If you don’t judge someone solely by the color of their skin, then you’re racist.

    1. I really, really, really don’t get these people. They have such an alarming lack of self-awareness.

      The same sort are in full-blown hero-worship mode for Clinton. Hillary Clinton, who managed to be worse on war than either Bush II or Obama. HRC who managed to be worse on war than D. Trump. Really, actually worse than Trump from her campaign statements. She promised a no-fly zone over Syria – to keep the Russians in check. Really, this was her proposal. US warplanes shooting down Russian warplanes over Syria. At least that’s one way to take the “proxy” out of proxy wars.

      The “99%” folks who marched against corporatism… worshiping at the alter of HRC. Weeping for her. HRC, who has milked corporatism and influence peddling for a half-billion dollars. That is a scale of payoffs that we’ve never seen. Third world dictators rarely achieve such levels of graft.

      But let’s invent “cultural appropriation” to explain why there is a genetic right to wear certain clothes, sing certain music or eat certain foods. They are worse than the progressives from the early 1900’s. Even they didn’t think your genetic heritage dictated what sort of hat you were allowed to wear.

      1. Most of them judged Hillary simply by the fact that her genitals are on the inside of her body. That’s it. It was a woman’s turn to be president. Policy? What’s that?

        1. I finally watched the SNL opening. Chappelle killed, per usual. But the reverent tone for Clinton was more than off-putting. It was revealing. These people are in a weird, religious, cult-like state. They truly believe HRC is the personification of all of their hopes and dreams. It defies all logic. So it must be faith based.

          I cannot understand the passion for HRC. I can see passion for “my team”. And I can see passion for defeating the evil enemy. But HRC? I would have expected that smart and talented folk like the SNL team would be supporters for cynical reasons, like she’s the best-positioned candidate to win, or it is “her turn” or history-making…. But no, they really see her as some sort of messiah. It was disturbing to watch.

          There was not one syllable of satire directed at HRC. Their scorn was saved for those who didn’t vote for her. They had an entire sketch of white Clintonites watching the returns and being shocked at the results as two black guys looked on and said “welcome to my world”. The only explanation they had was that white people who don’t live in cities are racist and sexist.

          Ha-ha. So funny! People who don’t support my world view and vote for perhaps the worst candidate of the television era are racists! And sexist! That’s the only possible explanation.

          They couldn’t even come up with a joke about Clinton not being able to make it to the podium for a concession speech before the crack of noon. C’mon people, that was a layup.

          1. I would have expected that smart and talented folk like the SNL team

            I lost it here.

            1. Hey, they may not be as funny as some of the greats from the past, but their writer’s room is loaded down with Ivy League degrees.

              1. That might be the problem. Ivy is toxic to education and humor. It also apparently imepedes rational thought and reasoning.

        2. Most of them judged Hillary simply by the fact that her genitals are on the inside of her body. That’s it. It was a woman’s turn to be president. Policy? What’s that?

          I’m pretty sure Mia Love would have become a dishonorary white male, if she had been nominated instead of Trump.

          It was about the Borg, not genitalia.

    2. What’s really important here is that we all learn that the specific actions we may take, opportunities available to us, and social interactions which are permissible are determined the day we are born based on arbitrary and uncontrollable classifications like race or religion.

      Geez, has the progressive left been infiltrated by the Illuminati or something? These are all the old tools of patriarchal oppression being seized on by the other side. I’m starting to miss the awkward multiculturalism of my youth.

      1. It is just progressives returning to their roots. Eugenics was always their thing.

  12. Respect = Disrespect in Bizarro World.

  13. What a dope. Why the hell did this guy think he could do the same thing in his 18th year that he’d done every year prior? Doesn’t he understand that the rules in what a white male in America are allowed to do change almost daily at the whim of anybody higher than them (read: everybody) on the grievance ladder? Does this guy live under a rock?

    1. Students don’t care about cultural appropriation. They care about lordng their power.

      1. Fair point. If we had a chance to stick it to the man, we probably took it.

        Except in my era you couldn’t really stick it to the man. All you had was mildly rebellious attitude.

        We did have a great win in the form of satire. In 11th grade near the end of the school year a few of us were tossing around a Frisbee. Mrs. Bowen, our math teacher, came along and scolded us, saying someone could be hurt.

        One of the guys quipped with a serious and somber tone, “That’s right, Mrs. Bowen. I had this friend, and he got decapitated and had to go to the hospital.”.

        “Yes, it could happen!” she breathlessly replied.

        We all had a good laugh as she stalked off. But we put the Frisbee away because she had all of the power and we had none of the power.

        Still, it was a great line.

  14. I keep hoping somebody accused like this will respond “It’s freaking Halloween. Get over yourselves.”

    1. I keep hoping somebody everyone accused like this will respond “It’s freaking Halloween. Get over yourselves.”

      1. let’s not wait for major/minor holidays…

  15. If he wasn’t a cowardly leftist, he’d ask some questions, ala the Socratic method:

    “So, are you saying that NOBODY can dress up as Michael Jordan on Halloween?”

    “Oh, so you’re saying that only black people can dress up as Michael Jordan? Only people of a certain race? Hmmm, so you’re advocating for a racist policy?”

    “Can only white people dress up as Darth Vader?”

    And so on.

    His problem is that he blinked and groveled, instead of calling the students out on their bullshit.

    1. All that would have done is stirred up emotions and maybe even violence. People who advocate for this sort of shit don’t think. They feel. When confronted with the obvious fact that they are the racist ones for judging the costume wearer by the color of their skin, the result would not have been pretty.

    2. He did not realize he violated the Party’s doctrine. He is sorry and wants to go back onto th ed loving embrace of Big Brother.

  16. Couldn’t someone ask Jordan himself what he thinks of a white guy wearing his mask? In this age of twitterz, you can get in touch with anyone if you really want.

    Oh well, that’d deny them an opportunity to exercise in rightthink.

  17. In other news, if my beard keeps growing and turning grey at the current rate, I’ll be able to accuse Santas of the world of kulchural appropriashun in four or five years.

    /grinchfreude

  18. I would go full lawsuit.. about $2million pain/suffering/humiliation.
    If any other teacher wore ANY other costume and was not punished, that is a slam dunk case.
    There is no way dressing up as MIchael Jordan meets any possible criteria of “offensive”.

  19. Isiah Thomas fans?

  20. Oh, *that* Jordan.

    *** gets coffee ***

  21. Oh, so Jordan gets to appropriate Aryan mustache culture no problem, but a white person wearing a mask is racist. Got it.

  22. Pretty much all of Halloween is cultural appropriation of one kind or another — those people need to get a grip on reality.

  23. The lesson is: only dress as white people. It is the only way to be sure.

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