A.M. Links: Presidential Election 8 Days Away, Clinton Leads Trump in Polls, Happy Halloween


  • The presidential election is one week from tomorrow.

  • New poll: Hillary Clinton 42 percent, Donald Trump 39 percent, Gary Johnson 7 percent, Jill Stein 5 percent.
  • "Federal investigators have obtained a warrant to begin searching a large cache of emails belonging to a top aide to Hillary Clinton, law enforcement officials said on Sunday, as prosecutors and F.B.I. agents scrambled under intense public pressure to assess their significance before Election Day."
  • According to reports, Donald Trump initially offered the vice presidential slot to Chris Christie. But Trump cancelled the offer.
  • Iraqi forces are preparing to enter Mosul.
  • The Chicago Cubs beat the Cleveland Indians last night. Cleveland now leads the World Series 3-2.
  • Happy Halloween: Here's a selection of Reason's best writing on zombies, vampires, ghosts, satanism, Cthulhu, and more.

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  1. The presidential election is one week from tomorrow.


    1. Hello.

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    2. Question. Will reason describe the election as 1 week from yesterday on Wednesday?

      1. I hope so. We’ll need to know how to tune our time travel devices to prevent what has happened from happening.

        1. Time travel device? Do you already have had one, or are you going to have gotten one?

          1. If he is ever going to have one then he already has.

          2. Future me said I’ll get my hands on one eventually.

        2. If you need me, I’ll be in 2525!

          1. If you’re still alive.

          2. We won’t.

            Remember, everyone’s expendable.

      2. Hopefully, they’ll start saying in less than a week.

  2. 250) Just for the sake of reference, since there seems to be some confusion:

    A) Sitting on decade-old footage until just a few weeks before an election is a dirty trick or October surprise and clearly detestable;

    B) Re-opening an investigation into a possible crime when new evidence becomes available, even if that happens to be a couple weeks before an election, is not a dirty trick.

    C) Notice the difference?in the first case, the timing of the information release is being manipulated, in the second case, information is simply being made available as it comes to light.

    D) Special message for the media: Withholding information from the public or timing its release is irresponsible. It doesn’t matter which candidate it helps or hurts?that’s not your job. Your job is to give the public all relevant information you have when you have it.

    1. Your job is to give the public all relevant information you have when you have it.

      “You’re not the boss of me!”

    2. You seem to haz a confuze. The media’s job is to protect Democrats and help them get elected.

      1. And make excuses for them when they fuck up every single thing they touch.

    3. Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, la, la, la. I can’t hear you.


    4. Good comment. Commenting milestone noted.

      1. He should pull over and take a picture of the odometer.

      2. At #250, the appropriate gift is an Adriatic orphan, although Mediterranean orphans are acceptable substitutes.

      3. There was nothing to mistakenly take literally.

  3. Federal investigators have obtained a warrant to begin searching a large cache of emails belonging to a top aide to Hillary Clinton…

    I’d say someone needs to have another tarmac meeting with Lynch.

    1. They’re suffereing from Post Tarmactic Stress Disorder

    2. I think she’ll end up fishing with Fredo first.

    3. I’d say someone needs to have another tarmac meeting with Lynch.

      Too suspicious at this point. Do it Have the meeting at Lynch’s house.

      1. “Too suspicious at this point. Do it Have the meeting at Lynch’s house.”

        Sure, like they care.

        1. I’ll just leave this here.

      2. Too suspicious? The first meeting was during the height of the controversy, days before Comey was supposed to interview Hilldog, and a clear violation of very basic legal ethics. It was flaunting that they are above measly “rules”

    4. I bet she has better security on her plane now.

    5. I think they need to meet with Comey. I think he decided he wasn’t getting the nod in the Clinton administration, and wanted to make sure they knew that punking him would be expensive.

      1. Rumor has it he was dealing with an in-house revolt by his staff for the very fact that they’ve sent people to prison for committing far less egregious sins than Hillary did, and the laptop provided a convenient means of pacifying them for now.

        The real question is, if there are emails from Huma to Hillary on Weiner’s laptop, what the hell was she doing on it in the first place? I realize they were a bit of a DC power couple, but my wife and I never use each other’s computers for the simple fact that we don’t need to do so. Part of me wonders if it’s actually Weiner’s and this is one of the laptops that came up missing during the investigation. If that’s the case, Huma’s in deep shit because she claimed to have turned in all of her devices.

        1. Depends on what your definition of “her devices” is.

          1. “Depends on what your definition of “her devices” is.”

            Vibrators, dildoes, handcuffs, etc.

        2. Bullshit.

          She’s in deep shit until January 20. The pardon comes the day after the new letterhead is received from the printing house.

          1. Good point. Apparently she was bawling her eyes out on the airplane and now she’s basically gone into hiding. Good thing Hillary’s got Dr. Feelgood on the trail with her to keep pumping her full of drugs or we might be looking at a full-on collapse.

            If Trump does actually manage to win this thing, Obama’s pardon pen will be working overtime.

            1. If Trump was at all savvy he would promise to pardon Hillary on his first day in office, for the good of the country.

        3. I’ll go ahead and bet the nexus of Hillary>Huma>Weiner’s Laptop is Huma forwarding or CCing work emails to her freaking Yahoo account.

          1. Forwarding her State Department emails to her Clinton Foundation account, and her Clinton Foundation emails to her State Department account, and then forwarding those emails to her Yahoo account because it was easier to print them from her Yahoo account, which is crazy.

            1. Forwarding her State Department emails to her Clinton Foundation account, and her Clinton Foundation emails to her State Department account, and then forwarding those emails to her Yahoo account because it was easier to print them from her Yahoo account

              I see you and I had the same boss at some point in the early 2000s.

          2. Perhaps, although I’m not sure why she’d use her husband’s laptop if she was already doing that from her own electronic devices. Logically, she’d be able to log in to Hillary’s server from any device, so what’s the point of using Weiner’s when she already has other devices on hand, besides sheer carelessness or devious intent?

            If there are any emails with classified info, that wouldn’t be good, but that ship sailed already when they passed classified information outside the secure networks and/or the SCIF, and still didn’t get dinged for it. if anything, they’d probably try and nail her on perjury for not informing them that she was using Weiner’s computer to access the server.

            Ultimately, I suspect nothing’s going to come of this just because they had their chance to hit Hillary months ago and Comey fucked it up by not recommending prosecution for a clearly prosecutable offense.

            1. carelessness, when you believe you are above the law you tend to get sloppy

            2. Nothing about the computer use of a Clintonista would surprise me. You make the mistake of thinknig about this from the point of view of a rational person. You also probably wouldn’t set up your own server for work or routinely forward work email to your personal account.

              Since I’m speculating I’m going to guess they shared a computer because, as terms for Huma to let Weiner keep riding her coattails, he had to give her access to him computer so she could check up on him and keep him honest. She was just terrible at doing so.

              1. Since I’m speculating I’m going to guess they shared a computer because, as terms for Huma to let Weiner keep riding her coattails, he had to give her access to him computer so she could check up on him and keep him honest. She was just terrible at doing so.

                That’s actually a distinct probability. “Time to check and see if my husband’s shooting out dick pics. While I’m on here, might as well log in to my boss’s server and take care of any email pile-ups too. Better forward these to Yahoo so I can back them up and print them out later.”

                1. Speculations of mine:

                  1. Weiner turned this device/these emails over to the FBI out of spite since Huma is likely divorcing him.

                  2. There was a massive groundswell against Comey from the rank and file at the FBI. They demanded he get it right and he needed take a first step which will eventually lead to an indictment.

                  3. Wikileaks also has the new Weiner emails and Comey knows it. No hiding it.

                  4. Wikileaks has some other heavy shit and Comey knows it. He needs to get back into prosecutor mode proactively, and not reactively.

                  Bonus: (rumor I’ve read a bit). FBI agents were told (by Comey) to “destroy” several devices after immunity given to Mills, and others. The agents did not do it, thus retaining serious evidence which can be used against, well, everybody.

              2. She was editing his dick pics.

  4. prosecutors and F.B.I. agents scrambled under intense public pressure to assess their significance before Election Day.”

    So now both sides agree this election is rigged?

  5. But Trump cancelled the offer.

    He didn’t fetch that Mickey D’s fast enough.

    1. Or ate it on the way.

    2. Impossible. I’m guessing that Christie can move like Usain Bolt when it comes to getting food.

      1. . . . a body in motion, tends to stay in motion . . .

        1. “Get in mah belly!”

  6. The presidential election is one week from tomorrow.

    Do you know where your candidates are?

    1. I saw one fucking around in the glove box of my El Camino.

        1. Her or Putin pulling off another hack.

      1. Vote 1 Homunculus!

    2. I assume mine is high somewhere or at a Hillary rally.

      1. “I assume mine is high somewhere or at a Hillary rally.”

        I saw a Weld interview this weekend. I’m pretty sure he was on his way to a Hillary rally.

        1. *laughter turns to crying*

  7. The presidential election is one week from tomorrow.

    And the 2020 presidential election is about four years and one week from tomorrow.

    1. * screams twice *

    2. There was the rumor I saw pop up that when Trump loses, he’s just going to keep campaigning for 4 years and run again in 2020…

      1. So, the Gary Johnson model? Well at least GJ made something more popular.

        1. No the Obama model. He’s been campaigning for a decade despite 2 victories.

          1. At least Obumbles learnt from his mistakes, and actually read Cliff’s Notes and cribbed between elections.

      2. Start up TrumpTV, keep his fans invested, then run as an independent to ‘punish’ the mean people in the GOP.

    3. And the 2020 presidential election is about four years and one week from tomorrow.

      The 2020 Presidential election is scheduled to occur four years from this Thursday – Nov 3.

      1. I can’t wait!

  8. According to reports, Donald Trump initially offered the vice presidential slot to Chris Christie. But Trump cancelled the offer.


    1. The humiliation of Chris Christie has been weirdly entertaining

      1. He’s an asshole. There can never be enough of it.

        1. I have already altered the deal pray I don’t alter it further.

        2. A BIG asshole

      2. What could have been more humiliating than actually being Trump’s running mate.

    2. “No, Chris, you don’t get to cook and eat your enemies, literally. That’s just gross. Go out and campaign for me and you can eat free at Trump Atlantic City* all you want.”

      *Even better if this hotel never existed or shut down. I can’t be arsed to look.

      1. I always see Christie as Eric Cartman in the episode where he systematically eats the skin off about a ton of KFC fried chicken.

  9. Smart move Canadian PM, we all saw what happened to the Ukrainian President when he refused to sign an association agreement with the EU. The Borg does not take no for an answer.

    “””””EU, Canada sign free trade deal but battle not over”””


    1. “Resistance is futile.”

        1. Onnes disagrees with that disagreement.

    2. Here’s my problem with CETA. For decades and decades sober Canadians warned against relying too much on the USA to no avail. Our economies became more and more entrenched to the point of making such deals more symbolic than anything. In other words, it may be too late. We made our branch plant economy bed.

      Also, ever notice how progressives love to talk about ‘democracy’ and the EU and how it’s all roses and tulips until one nation or region dares challenge it? Wallonia represents 1% of the population and apparently the narrative became ‘how can 1% have such pull? Do something!’

      Always about democracy…until it isn’t.

      1. Right. In the past they usually just run the election over until they get the right answer, as with Ireland not wanting to join the Euro.

      2. Democracy, to the Progressives, means that when their policies are popular, the Demos is sane and should be listened to, when their policies are unpopular, the Demos is mentally ill (racist, sexist, Republican, nationalist, whatever) and needs to be forced into implementing their policies for their own good.

        1. Grammar note “the Demos” may, like “the hoi polloi” be using an unneeded article.

          1. In before grammar Nazis. That’s the way to do it.

            1. There were way too many commas in that run-on sentence.


            2. It is if you get your chicks for free.

  10. Here’s a selection of Reason‘s best writing on zombies, vampires, ghosts, satanism, Cthulhu, and more.

    Slutty aggressors.

    1. Sugarfree is who we turn to for Horror pron.

      1. I think of it as him turning on us…

        Double entendre?

        1. Turning us on?

  11. According to reports, Donald Trump initially offered the vice presidential slot to Chris Christie. But Trump cancelled the offer.

    Upon learning that the president does not have Constitutional authority to establish an all-you-can-eat buffet in the White House.

  12. Australia’s Libertarian senator engages in civil discourse:

    A Twitter war of words has broken out between Senate crossbenchers, with combative Liberal Democrat David Leyonhjelm labelling Derryn Hinch “a dumb heap of parrot droppings”.

    The pair have clashed since it was revealed that Senator Leyonhjelm told a rally at Queensland Parliament in 2013 that he would be happy to let police “lie on the side of the road and bleed to death”.

    1. What name does he use on H&R?

      1. Invisible Furry Hand

    2. Are parrot droppings particular in a way? Smellier? Uglier? Its a weird adjective.

      1. I think they mostly eat fruit. It can’t be as bad as shore/wading birds’.

        1. You don’t think fish and frogs smell better after passing through a bird’s digestive system?

      2. I guess the Australians kept alive the British tradition of trying to outdo one another with more and more elaborate insults.

    3. So, is Leyonhjelm a man who has good ideas about politics but is personally a dick? Or is he a decent guy who is targeted by the media? I do note he pissed a bunch of people off with his speech/es about shot guns.

      1. I think he does nothing to dispel the stereotype of libertarians being selfish affluent white guys with an empathy bypass. There’s a way to sell the message with which many people would have some sympathy, including some of the old left journos. He doesn’t use that way.

  13. What I haven’t heard about the weekend surprise.

    It seems to me that if there are any emails that are in the slightest way relevant to the investigation on the laptop that were not included on the server because they were deleted, then that is prima facie evidence of obstruction.

    1. So much this. It should take milliseconds to determine this.

    2. Yeah, I’m sure that the MSM will get right on that.

    3. You mean more evidence of obstruction. The emails were deleted after a subpoena was issued.

      1. That ship sailed a while ago.

        1. And sank under mysterious circumstances.

          1. I heard it was suicide

            1. 2 shots to the back of the head type suicide.

    4. There are 650,000 emails on the laptop, and a story yesterday said it would take weeks to sort through them.

      1. How does anyone get 650 thousand emails?

        1. The laptop was the backup target for the bathroom server…

          1. Didn’t see that in the news. Someone is fucked.

          2. It was? Holy crapola, Clinton is screwed.

            1. It’s the Onion’s plight. I can’t make a snark absurd enough to not be mistaken for having actually happened.

              1. This election has killed satire.

                1. Or raised it to a performance art?

                  Andy Kaufman is actually Hillary?

        2. To be fair, most of them are from Nigerian oil ministers, Canadian pharmacies, and Meet Horny Asian Girls sites.

          1. “Meet Horny Asian Girls sites”

            Hence Weiner’s retention of them…

          2. No offers for penis enlargement, a thing I swear I don’t need?

        3. I take it Weiner wasn’t practicing “Inbox Zero.”

        4. Just imagine how many russian girls and penis enlargement spam messages Weiner must have been getting trolling the sordid(er) side of the Web.

        5. You gotta remember that the 650,000 e-mails were found on Weiner’s computer. Consider the following indisputable facts:

          1) Weiner was a senior Democratic politician.
          2) The strongest conclusion from the FBI investigation into Hillary’s private server is that senior Democratic politicians are spectacularly incompetent with regard to information technology, particularly in matters of data security.
          3) Weiner is a perv likes to use the internet to gratify his perviness.
          4) There are tens of thousands of websites dedicated to gratifying various forms of perviness. They are not run by eleemosynary organizations. Many make money by collecting e-mail addresses, which are required for registration, and then selling e-mail lists to spammers.

          Being a former senior Democrat politician, Weiner is probably so clueless that he doesn’t know how to filter spam. So it’s not unlikely that half of these e-mails are for penis enlargement, natural viagra, and the like.

          1. Don’t forget Podesta walked right into a phishing net and gave away his password (then failed to reset it later too) So this sort of internet illieteracy in just the Clinton circle is far from unprecedented.

          2. 1) Weiner was a senior Democratic politician

            I wouldn’t call him that. He was a junior House rep with a big mouth who happened to be married to a woman who’s basically Hillary’s body servant. I think the real issue here is what exactly Huma did in relation to the computer in question–like I said above, my wife and I never share laptops simply because we have our own to use. Getting on each other’s computer to surf or do business just wouldn’t make sense, unless Huma was doing some nefarious shit and trying to hide it on Weiner’s laptop.

            1. Oooooh… conspiracy theory time! They didn’t acutually share a laptop, but she has used it in the past to access her Yahoo account. The Yahoo account Weiner knows she used for State Department and Hillary-related work. Being the practical morons Clinton-orbiters are Huma logs in but stores her password on Weiner’s laptop.

              Fastforward a couple years and Weiner is now in deep shit for sexting a minor. He’s looking at serious punishment; not just the loss of face and power that is usually a pol’s punishment. Real jail time for a crime that people won’t defend. He mentions to the investigator “What would it be worth to you if I could get you into Huma’s email? Email she never deleted and related to your closed investigation?”

              1. Being the practical morons Clinton-orbiters are Huma logs in but stores her password on Weiner’s laptop.

                I can see them being stupid enough to say “Yes” when the little pop-up window asks them “Do you want to save your password on this computer?”

                My wife’s not terribly familiar with cyber-security and I had to tell her to log out all the time and never save her password in case her laptop was ever hacked.

                1. “Hacked? Like, with an axe?”

          3. The last time I was in direct charge of an email server, way over 90% of inbound email was spam. We very quickly had to move to a commercial spam filter upstream of our server to filter it all – the email server was choking on trying to filter the spam and serve email at the same time.

            If he was running an unfiltered account and had a penchant for visiting porn sites, I’d say a few hundred thousand spam emails per year is very possible. My email address was publicly available as an officer in the company, so I was getting over 200 spam emails that managed to elude the commercial spam filters on a daily basis. So I had a second heuristic filter on my desktop that picked up most of the rest.

    5. What are the Bookie odds on this laptop being professionally scrubbed within the month? Right after McCabe’s “investigation” is finished.

      So, you say the FBI deputy director’s wife got $650K in campaign contributions from the Democratic party. And he had an oversight role on the Clinton investigation. Hmm, now that’s an odd coincidence.

      1. The WSJ had a good story about the FBI investigation, and McCabe was mentioned in it numerous times. The conclusion seemed to be that whatever happened in the past with the investigation is not happening now, and that each of the 650,000 is going to be looked at. I doubt anything comes from it, but we will not know the end result for weeks.

      2. $650,000 campaign contribution

        650,000 e-mails


  14. Turkey detains opposition newspaper staff on suspicion of justifying coup

    Turkish police detained the editor and a dozen senior staff from the main secularist opposition newspaper on Monday, a day after 10,000 more civil servants were sacked over suspected links to a failed July coup.

    Turkey’s crackdown since rogue soldiers tried to seize power on July 15 has alarmed Western allies and rights groups, who fear President Tayyip Erdogan is using the coup attempt to crush dissent. More than 110,000 people have been sacked or suspended and 37,000 arrested over the past three and a half months.

    The Istanbul prosecutor’s office said the staff from the Cumhuriyet daily, one of few media outlets still critical of Erdogan, were suspected of committing crimes on behalf of Kurdish militants and the network of Fethullah Gulen, a U.S.-based cleric. Turkey accuses Gulen of orchestrating the coup attempt, in which he denies any involvement.

    1. Erdogan has it half right.

    2. As Instapundit notes, it’s not a failed coup, it is a successful purge.

    3. So to sum up:
      Turkey’s leader purges all opposition in govt and media. They are against Syria (and therefore Russia) and supporting ISIS (I mean the “pro-democracy rebels”). They are a member of NATO.
      Russia’s leader has done some things against independent media, but there are still plenty of activists and opposition members of their parliament. They are supporting Syria (led by an evil asshole, but that is in no way a threat to the US) against some of the most despicable Islamist groups out there.
      And our likely next president would rather risk a war with Russia. I have fucking had it.
      For the record:

      1. They might be throwing roadblocks in the road to Herself’s coronation! Therefore, World War III. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD


          *lops off Citizen X’s head with a chainaxe*

      2. Plot twist–one of the Wikileaks emails makes an allusion to Erdogan or his cronies possibly making donations to Democrats.

  15. Clinton *still* leading? I guess we actually do need to put a stake through her heart.

    1. Preet, he’s joking. “Stake through the heart” is a Dracula reference.

      1. That’s okay. I have another reference for Preet: “extraterritoriality.” Google it if you must, Preet.

        1. Dude, do NOT taunt Preet. Preet will come after you in the dark.

          1. Great, another vampire.

          2. Preet is an anus-seeking missile.

            1. Preet’s business is giving everybody the business. And business is booming.

          3. Dude, do NOT taunt Preet. Preet will come after you in the dark.

            Just keep a few good looking goats around to strict him when he comes.

      2. Preet might be a bit too occupied with his investigation of the Clinton Foundation right now to worry about us (hopefully).

        1. Preet don’t sleep, son.

        2. He started with commenters on Reason, I think he is Daijal/AddictionMyth.

    2. Makes you seriously wonder about the accuracy of the polls.

      1. Green at 5%? I don’t buy it.

        1. Also, Johnson has been crashing towards 2% in likely voter polls.

          1. Johnson needs to keep it up. It sucks when Johnson fades right before the climax.

              1. Softening in the polls?

  16. The Chicago Cubs beat the Cleveland Indians last night.

    I still can’t get over how offensive that name is. The culture of younger chubby homosexual men shouldn’t be appropriated like that.

    1. NABCLA?

  17. “a dumb heap of parrot droppings”

    Harsh! Points for creativity, I guess.

    1. I think it may be a reference to a Monty Python bit.

  18. Good morning, I’m off to work, hoping to finish early, going to be Heath ledger Joker Tonight, yippeee!

    1. Be sure to keep away from movie theaters.

      1. Why so serious?

        1. Have him hold a pencil.

    2. Just don’t forget the famous line, “Why are you being so serious?”

  19. Poll: Clinton Unharmed by FBI News

    A poll conducted and analyzed by Monday morning regarding news that was released heading into the weekend. That sounds less than robust.

    1. She fell two points over the weekend, so yeah she was.

      1. Polls showing a closer race are all part of the Dem’s get out the vote strategy.
        Trump has no ground game

          1. If your preferred candidate has a big lead in the polls, there’s less of a motivation to get to the voting booth. Show the race getting tighter, and it’s easier to rally your side to follow through and actually vote. Local volunteers do the grunt work to bump up turnout the final couple of percent. It would be a wash in a typical establishment election where size of the ground organization is roughly equal, but Clinton has a much larger ground operation than Trump. Advantage Clinton.

            1. Serious question:
              What is a “ground game”?
              I have never in my life seen or been influenced by a ground game. An election happens, I vote for the person I like.

              1. Many sheep need to be prodded to go to the polls, so the ground game is volunteers who make phone calls, knock on doors, offer rides to the polls, etc.

  20. Shit my prog friends say, part… I promise you, these people are generally nice and sane when not talking about politics.

    We have 4 applicants for a job. Only one is actually qualified to perform the duties of the job. Period.

    Spoiler alert: He wasn’t talking about the one candidate who has executive experience in government.

    1. But two of the others fulfill our affirmative action requirements, so we’ll go one of them instead.

    2. Hillary has experience in governing, like Typhoid Mary had experience in catering. Experience is not a plus if that experience is a record of disaster.

    3. Maybe you should remind this person that Nixon was more qualified than McGovern to perform the duties of the job, too, and look what happened to him.

      “Qualifications” don’t mean shit if the person that’s being hired runs a thieving, law-breaking swath through the institution they’ll be working for.

  21. Term of the Day: Critical Whiteness Studies

    At a time when some initiatives for the study of whiteness begin
    as a conversation solely and deliberately among whites only, CWS
    has been interracial from its inception and has centrally involved
    faculty and students from the university’s ethnic studies programs.
    The infl
    uence of both history and ethnic studies has put CWS in
    an especially strong position regarding understanding that the
    critical study of whiteness is not, as it is too often portrayed in the
    press, a recent and university-based project undertaken mainly by
    white scholars. CWS discussions have instead consistently refl
    the long roots of inquiries into when, how and why some people
    have, over the last centuries of human history, suddenly come to
    value what W.E.B. Du Bois long ago called “personal whiteness.”
    Not surprisingly, this knowledge developed most quickly and
    systematically among racialized, enslaved, conquered and colonized
    peoples for whom white power and white pretense were urgent
    problems. Both this long sweep of the study of whiteness and
    the key role of people of color in undertaking such study are
    represented in the bibliography published here.

    1. CWS discussions have instead consistently reflected the long roots of inquiries into when, how and why some people have … suddenly come to value … “personal whiteness.”

      Oh, FFS! “Say it loud! I’m White and I’m proud!”

    2. “CWS discussions have instead consistently reflected the long roots of inquiries into when, how and why some people
      have…suddenly come to value what W.E.B. Du Bois long ago called “personal whiteness.””

      I think the release of X’s “White Girl” in 1980 had a lot to do with it. After that it was just so cool.

    3. For the benefit of non-white readers, we don’t actually get together and talk about how cool it is to be white people. Actually, we get together and bust each other’s balls about being 1/15th Belgian and shit like that.

      1. The funny part is this is not white people talking about white people. You can get that at Stormfront. This is African Studies, etc… looking to branch out and understand what the fuck is wrong with whitey.

        1. They can’t even honestly look at what is wrong with Africa – what makes them think they can analyze something not in their narrow focus?

        2. They’re gonna crack that tricknology one day!

          1. Like hell they are! We’re investing billions in tricknology research!

    4. At a time when some initiatives for the study of whiteness begin as a conversation solely and deliberately among whites only

      At no time before this current SJW crap did a group of white people get together to study “whiteness” whatever the hell that means.

      1. Seriously. It’s literally *never* happened. Not once

    5. In my religious community, there is a major split along “folkish” vs “universalist” beliefs.
      Folkish can mean anywhere from “White Power” assholes to everybody is cool, but if you are looking for an ancestral religion, why not start with your own ancestors (that is kind of where I fall).
      Universalists are essentially the multiculturalists of the Pagan world.

      The reason I bring this up is that, there are things for people of all heritages to be proud of and to celebrate (even cool foods, music etc ).
      And there are dark things in all cultural pasts. Hey, I am half German. Though I have no direct connections to Nazis, I still accept the fact that if I want to embrace Germanic Paganism, some are going to think me a new-Nazi.
      A person shouldn’t feel bad about embracing their cultural traditions. The problem is putting others down.

  22. New York Met opera cancelled after person’s ashes tipped into orchestra pit

    New York City’s Metropolitan Opera was forced to cancel its Saturday afternoon performance of Guillaume Tell after an audience member sprinkled an unidentified powder, which police believe was cremated ashes, into the orchestra pit.

    New York City Police officials said witnesses had heard a man say he was at the opera to spread the ashes of his mentor.

    “An individual from out of town … indicated that he was here to sprinkle ashes of a friend, his mentor in opera, during the performance,” John Miller, deputy commissioner for intelligence and counterterrorism told reporters.

    There were no reports of any injuries or any bad reactions to the substance, though the theatre was evacuated and the New York Police Department dispatched a special unit to investigate, Officer Tiffany Phillips said.

    The suspect, a man who was not identified, had fled the scene and no arrests have been made, Phillips said.

    1. I guess the outcome remains to be seen.

    2. *scowls at cancellation of Guillaume Tell*

    3. “Guillaume Tell”

      I was going to question this…but according to Wikipedia Rossini had an opera by this title, based on the William Tell legend.

    4. Just picturing Walter Sobchak at the Met with a coffee can. “Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the opera… and bowling…”

      1. Everything’s a travesty with you, man!

  23. “This weekend’s online poll measured 1,772 likely voters” What is the track record of online polling?

    1. On track to poll 1776 likely voters?

  24. New poll: Hillary Clinton 42 percent, Donald Trump 39 percent, Gary Johnson 7 percent, Jill Stein 5 percent.

    Libertarian moment!

    Serious question: should the LP take public funding if it hits 5%?

    1. If they actually mean to be a real political party and not just an activist organization, then yes.

      1. ^This

    2. Yes. Hate the game, not the player.

    3. Absolutely. Elections have consequences.

  25. According to reports, Donald Trump initially offered the vice presidential slot to Chris Christie. But Trump cancelled the offer.

    Reports that Trump then said “Psych, broke your neck!” were unconfirmed as of press time.

  26. Selling Air (a.k.a. the Idea They Thought of Next)

    Would you pay $100 for a whiff of Welsh air?

    In some of the world’s most polluted cities, people apparently will: Sales of bottled air from fresh-smelling places are taking off.

    An Australian company is hawking six-packs of air bottled in places like Bondi Beach in Sydney or the eucalyptus-covered Blue Mountains. A Canadian firm sells containers of Rocky Mountain breeze as an antidote to smoggy skies (“a shot of nature,” its marketing promises).

    Aethaer, a British company, is hoping to turn packaged air into a popular luxury item in fast-growing markets like China. The company sells glass jars holding 580 milliliters (a bit more than a pint) of air from Wales ? with a “morning dew feel,” according to its website ? for 80 pounds, or $97.

    1. Spaceballs? Really, the world is imitating Spaceballs?

      1. It could be worse, some undead hag could be close to becoming president of America.

        1. See my earlier comment. There’s not enough garlic in the world…

    2. Would you pay $100 for a whiff of Welsh air?

      No. Next question.

      Hey, what ever happened to that fart-in-a-jar commenter?

      1. They got winded trying to keep up with all the goings on, wafted, and blew away…

      1. Bagged water or GTFO

    3. We had to read a story about just that when I was in elementary school in the sixties – that by the time we were adults that the rich or sick would be breathing bottled air because everything would be so polluted.

      1. I recall seeing Oxygen bars a few years back. Did that fad die out?

        1. Yep. Suffocated from being under the overhead.

    4. I’m gonna market ‘Quebec Farts’. IT’S ALREADY TRADEMARKED BY ME.

      1. It’s just beans with maple syrup isn’t it?

        1. Well, there’s different flavors: beans with maple, beans with brown gravy and cheese curds, beans with venison, beans with cod, and Timbits.

      2. No TM visually present.

        *sprints to Patent and Trademark Office with new business idea*

  27. So how does Huma not go to jail for this? Comey presser: “Yeah she lied but the lie was unintentional as she thought she had turned everything in. But as the “Costanza Defense” has long been established that if you actually believe the lie it no longer can be considered one. So while what she did was stupid and reckless it was not necessarily prosecutable by reasonable prosecutors.”

    1. I can see Huma taking the fall for Hillary.

      1. I’m hoping Weiner ejaculates the whole ugly truth.

        What does he have to lose at this point?

        1. His dignity? No, wait… his wife? Dammit, I know this

          1. Me might end up commiting ‘suicide’ ala Vince.

      2. She’ll flea to SA first.

  28. DU is starting to freak out

    Many of these Federal agencies are loaded with right wingers…

    …and it was intentional, starting with Raygun, but really became evident during cheney*/bush* when there was a organized, concerted effort by conservative/PNAC-sympathetic officials to replenish their ranks with same.

    yeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhhh…… riiiiiiigggggghhhhhhht

    1. Many of these Federal agencies are loaded with right wingers

      “I believe the exact opposite of reality, because it’s the only way to preserve my world view.”

    2. DU is in a constant state of freakout. Panic is their MO.

      1. If Clinton loses, they’re going to go ballistic. That alone may be worth the price of admission.

        1. Yes. A Trump victory facilitated by the FBI providing an October surprise might cause a schadenfreude overdose. Depends on how afraid of an actual Trump Presidency I am once it comes to pass.

          1. At this point, I’m resigned to yet another shitty President. Let it burn.

          2. We will more readily ride out a Trump Administration than a Clinton one.

            1. Trump Forest Gumping it into the oval office would make for a nice movie.

              1. I’m still holding out hope that, if he wins, he ends up revealing after the swearing-in that it was all a troll before cartwheeling away. There’s not enough popcorn in the world to savor the collective stroke the media would have.

        2. Are you suggesting that Clinton supporters won’t accept an unfavorable election outcome?

          1. I think there will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth. But it’s not like they own guns, so i’m not terribly worried.

  29. There was a Johnson campaigner at our local Zombie Walk this weekend. Disappointed that he seemed to be an old hippie, but whatevs.

    1. Well, most dead voters go blue, so be happy this one didn’t.

    2. I don’t suppose this old hippie happened to speak in bold statements about someone named Cato, and shouting, “BULLIES!” at small children and pets….

      1. If it was Hihn, it wasn’t a zombie walk – just Hihn walking at his usual pace.

        1. I handed out candy dressed as Hihn tonight.

          *Hurls Snickers at aggressors*

          1. BULLY!

      2. Hihn’s heyday predates hippies by like 80 years, Groovus.

      3. I didn’t get close to him, he was on the other side of the street but didn’t appear to be acting abnormally – other than campaigning for a third party candidate.

        1. You would have smelled the stale farts and cat feces from that far away.

    3. Hey, some old hippies actually believed all the stuff about freedom and self reliance.

  30. Aboriginal Australians, Pacific Islanders carry DNA of unknown human species, research analysis suggests

    Statistical geneticist carried out research analysis on percentages of extinct hominid DNA in modern humans
    “Discrepancies” in previous analyses show interbreeding between Neanderthals and Denisovans “is not the whole story”
    Researchers believe a third group, separate to Neanderthals and Denisovans, contributes to Pacific Islanders’ DNA

    1. It’s Warty, isn’t it?

      1. That would explain why the NFL is slowly being taken over by Samoans.

    2. Vandal Savage.

    3. I have always been a bit puzzled by that. Looking at them it is pretty obvious that they are different from anyone else on the planet.

    4. You’ve seen the Easter Island statues – look how big the heads of their ancestors were.

  31. I hate this ‘you may like’ thing at the end of each Reason article.

    Fuck you. You don’t know what I may like and judging by the articles, you don’t even love me.

    1. Fuck you. You don’t know what I may like

      You are a libertarian!

    2. You don’t know what I may like

      Strictly speaking, I think they do. You may like anything. Or you may not.

  32. Everybody knows you don’t touch their shoulder, you touch their hair. It’s like these people don’t even know how to white.

    In times of anti-Black tragedy, however, White allies occasionally reach out to Black folks for validation of their goodness and for connection to our presumed pain. They may have a desire to express sympathy for a way they imagine us to feel. They may hope or assume that we need to “process” tragedy alongside them.

    That’s why I’m sure that when the next anti-Black tragedy happens, some White ally or another will open a conversation with me about the tragedy and begin to apply the look.

    You know the look. It tilts its head to the side and leans in close with wide-open eyes, wrinkles its brow upward in almost grandmotherly concern and peers directly into my own eyes as if to say, “Sarah, are you okay?”

    Sometimes the person associated with this gaze even reaches out for a physical connection ? an affirmation expressed in a simple gesture like a light touch upon my shoulder.

    1. This is a strength of minority communities. How we grieve perfect strangers has been well-documented: TaNehisi Coates’ portrayal of his young son’s grief over the acquittal of Darren Wilson in the killing of Michael Brown is a poignant literary example. Alan Pelaez Lopez’s expression of their own grief ? “When Trayvon Martin was murdered, I cried in the shower for weeks” ? is another.

      I laughed.

      1. TaNehisi Coates’ portrayal of his young son’s grief over the acquittal of Darren Wilson in the killing of Michael Brown is a poignant literary example. Alan Pelaez Lopez’s expression of their own grief ? “When Trayvon Martin was murdered, I cried in the shower for weeks” ? is another.

        It’s a testament to how soft and emasculated American society has become that people like this are actually the ones who drive popular culture and ruin the lives of their political opponents instead of being bullycided into oblivion.

    2. It tilts its head

      it tilts its head?!
      Nice othering and de-humanizing, you fascist bigot!

      1. Tilting your head and leaning in is an old tricknology tactic.

    3. White people are not allowed to show sympathy for others’ losses.

        1. That would be the first step towards surviving as a group.

    4. “…It tilts its head to the side and leans in close with wide-open eyes, wrinkles its brow upward…”

      It. I wonder if it knows that some of the activists it wants solidarity with think of it as an it and not as a person.

      1. “It puts the lotion in the basket or it gets the hose again!”

    5. I love the link on the banner above “You don’t control your weight: These Facts Prove Everything You Know About Weight Loss Is a Lie”

      Oh man. smh

      1. AddictionMyth hardest hit.

  33. I’m giving out Tic-Tacs to the trick-or-treaters tonight.

      1. There are not many kids in my neighborhood. I expect fewer will stop by next year

    1. I knew a guy who gave burned-out Christmas tree bulbs.

      1. You people want to have your properties vandalized, don’t you?

        Look, if you want to opt out of the extortion racket, keep your house dark.

        1. I’m already out of candy. Got a total six. 3 of them were dressed as Newspaper salesmen and looked confused when I gave them some homemade fudge.

          1. “Homemake fudge”, indeed.

            1. Hey, there are plenty of nuts in his homemade fudge.

              1. That sounds painful for all involved.

    2. full-sized candy bars.

      You cheap bastards.

      1. That is the way it is done!! Besides, you gotta fatten this years crop so they will be more delicious next year!

      2. Address please?

    3. I have two buckets. One with candy for good costumes, one with Taco Bell hot sauce packets for crappy ones.

  34. The three year old little girl who was used to slime Barry Goldwater more than fifty years ago.is now making an encore appearance as a middle-aged hag in the effort to beat Trump.

    1. Oh no, not Daddy!

  35. “Happy Halloween: Here’s a selection of Reason’s best writing on zombies, vampires, ghosts, satanism, Cthulhu, and more.”

    Enough with the Politics already. We’re tired of hearing about Clinton, Trump and their supporters!

  36. Antonio Esfandiari, the world class poker pro, says that you need to tell your opponent’s possible stories and see which one makes most sense to see if he’s bluffing or not. Looking at Comey’s history in regards to the emails, I can’t figure out which story makes sense when looking back at each step of the way. Anyone wants to take a shot at deconstructing it from the beginning, I’m all ears.

      1. The trouble is, he is an honest guy with a conscience and apparently his conscience finally got the better of him.

        See, that right there is why I have a problem with this theory.

        1. It was more likely the mounting evidence from the Wikileaks revelations combined with increasing possibility of revolt among FBI Agents that forced his hand to try to contain the damage.

          1. Yeah, I need the force prompting him to act to be anything other than his conscience.

          2. increasing possibility of revolt among FBI Agents

            I still think this gets blown out of proportion. By and large they are policemen who do as they are told. I’m sure a decent number of them had been disenfranchised by the direction of the Clinton investigations, but I find it hard to believe those guys would do anything drastic before they got their pensions.

          3. Yep. I’m in camp CYA. When Wikileaks or some other group eventually dumps the emails and people see how incompetent/fraudulent the FBI investigation was, there would be hell to pay. If they slow walk the sifting of the hundreds of thousands of emails, it will be mid-terms already.

        2. Right. No “honest guy with a conscience” becomes director of the FBI.

    1. Here’s a story that seems to fit most of the facts before Friday. If true, you can expect Clinton’s exoneration by the end of the week.

      Conspiracy theories are the result of applying Esfandiari’s poker tactic to politics.

      I’m not sure that this tactic is appropriate to politics in 2016 because the reality of 2016 politics is much more weird than any story that a reasonable person could imagine.

      1. Just brought up Esfandiari to point out how hard it is to construct a story with very limited information. Of course it’s speculation. But I want to know now!

      2. SF’d the link.

      3. Here’s the Dilbert guy’s take.

        It’s pretty much the same as Esfandiari’s poker tactic.

  37. I saw this on Salman Rushdie’s Twitter.

    Trump used his foundation’s money to pay his legal fees, compared some hand-waving about Hillary’s emails. Hmm, I wonder if there is anything untoward involving Hillary’s foundation…

  38. So much for Minnesoda Nice. Feds zero in on rise in anti-Muslim hate crimes in Minnesota, nationally.

    It sounds pretty gruesome when you read about the % increase, then you realize it went from 2 in 2010 to 11 in 2015. So maybe Tundra and I aren’t doing as good of a job microagressing the muslims as we thought.

  39. “We’ve made it very clear that, if they are going to be sending this kind of letter that is only going originally to Republican members of the House, that they need to share whatever facts they claim to have with the American people,” Clinton said

    The claim wasn’t true. All you had to do is turn the page and find Democratic members of Congress who had also received the letter from the FBI.

    If you’re a Clinton. you lie. It’s what you do.


    1. Give them the benefit of the doubt. They’re technologically illiterate. They probably don’t even realize duplex printing is a thing.

    2. And her supporters and media sycophants lap it up.

      1. If the Clinton campaign wants everyone to know what’s on that device, as they say they do, why don’t they just ask Huma and have her release a statement?

        1. Tucker Carlson asked a Democrat spokesweasel that very thing over the weekend, and his best answer was “I don’t know” with a quick pivot back to “Russians! OMG!”

        2. The “we want the FBI to release all the information in these emails!” is a tell that there’s some shady shit in there. As you say, if there isn’t anything untoward in them, Huma or Mook should have no problem doing a press conference with a statement on everything that’s discussed in them. It shouldn’t be up to the fucking FBI to comb through all this shit and release the content in “death by 650,000 cuts.”

          The fact that they won’t come out with what’s in the emails indicates that they either don’t know or don’t remember everything that’s in there themselves, or they know there’s some bad shit on there and are pulling an absurdly bad bluff because they know they’d be caught in a patently obvious lie later on by claiming there’s nothing worth worrying about.

          1. That’s not a very reasonable take. Nobody on the planet could possibly tell you everything they emailed about in the last several years. It isn’t possible.

            That being said, the reason they are saying “just release everything immediately” is that they know that the FBI cannot do this. So they are perfectly safe in issuing such a demand. It lets them be sanctimonious and playing at victimhood at the same time while being in no danger whatsoever.

            The fact that we know there are going to be classified emails among the trove (even if they are all duplicates of already obtained emails) means they can’t “just release everything”. It is a disingenuous demand and anyone who falls for it is a fool.

  40. Yesterday I asked how the Russians got 650,000 e-mails on Weiner’s computer.

    It’s common knowledge that the Russians are behind all the schemes to deprive Hillary from her rightful throne. It’s not a tinfoil hat, black helicopter conspiracy theory because serious people, both journalists and senior Democrat officials, say this is true. And it involves the Russians. America has always been at war with Russia.

    So, today I have another question: How did the Russians manipulate Weiner to get pervy with teenage girls, get the FBI to investigate, and then get Comey to announce that the FBI had found the 650,000 e-mails that the Russians put on Weiner’s computer?

    I know that the KGB was a world class intelligence operation, but the sophistication of the SVR RF in this operation just boggles the mind.

    1. Obvious Prediction: if Hillary loses, the whiny faction of the left doesn’t shut up about Weiner, emails, Wikileaks, Russia, etc for the same length of time they spluttered about Nader spoiling it for Gore.

      1. 16 years and counting?

      2. If Hillary loses, that will only be part of the most massive case of butthurt in centuries.

        1. Indeed. The Weiner Wad Shot heard ’round the World.

    2. Bigger question – why would the Russians work against HRC? I mean she demonstrated her awesomeness as a states(wo)man with that whole reset thing.

      1. While the Russians would normally welcome benevolent incompetence from American leaders, in Hilary’s case it’s more like belligerent incompetence which is far more dangerous.

  41. Will CNN defend Hillary if she was riding the Lolita Express? Just going to leave this here and make some popcorn.

    1. It’s probably bullshit.

      Hillary is rich enough that she could spend the rest of her life dripping in bitches if that was her thing.

      She wants power.

      1. It doesn’t all have to be true. If it detailed that Huma and Hillary knew and didn’t act to stop their husbands from doing so would be bad enough.

        1. That would actually be pretty bad if that was the case. “Yeah, I know he’s still acting like a damn satyr, but his reputation’s shot now and no one will care anymore. Don’t see why we should be concerned as long as it’s not kids or something.”


        2. Hillary knew about her husband making untoward demands of employees and backed him up (at least in public). And nobody cares. The chance that anyone cares about this is less than zero,(unless there is a cell phone video of Hillary watching statutory rape with pleasure, which there isn’t)

  42. With my all seeing mind I suspect the following:

    Comey wanted to prosecute in the spring, but was told by the Administration that he would be fired and destroyed if he did so. Hence the strangely worded statement that slammed Clinton quite hard, but claimed it was unprosecutable….not that she was innocent mind you….but “no reasonable prosecutor….”. If he went forward in the spring it would have been “FBI director Comey has shown unprofessional judgement and partisanship and we have asked for his resignation…yada yada yada.” Clinton would have come out stronger and the issue would have been DOA.

    He sat on it for 3 months and at the moment when any backlash on him would have little effect, he dumped the gasoline on the flame. He can’t prosecute without the DOJ, so any legal action is impossible, but his “notification of Congress” was about the most impactful thing in his power to do and still hold true to the ideal of professionalism. Going after Comey now would look desparate and unwarranted. He didn’t do anything he hadn’t committed to doing back in July. He set this up then, knowing full well what he would do.

    Comey is brilliant.

    1. Interesting hypothesis. But it would have been totally obvious had he been fired in the middle of a high-profile prosecution.

      1. Don’t you think the news cycle would have buried it by now if the firing had occurred then? If he’s fired now, this close to the election, then it leaves a week-long stench.

      2. Obvious, yes. But who controls the story if he falls on his sword? Obama/Lynch/DNC/Clinton/MSM would have pushed a message that makes Comey out to be a rouge. And if Comey fought back, I’m sure an ‘ethics’ investigation would have followed. We know how these people work.

    2. 1. He can rightly claim he’s honoring his earlier promise to Congress.

      2. If Clinton wins, she’ll fire him either way in order to install one of their hacks.

      So why not do it? He has nothing to lose.

    3. No, he’s fucking spineless. He had a duty to investigate and go where the facts led him. The fact that computer hackers were about to show the country how bad he fucked up led him to suck it up in October.

      1. “No, he’s fucking spineless” I think that is nonsense.

        It is reasonable to suspect, that in July, Comey was told by his boss “close the investigation. Clinton will not be prosecuted. period”. If so, what were his options?
        1) resign in protest. Doing that would have accomplished nothing, because the story would have been written by others. Obama/Lynch could have said anything and the media would run with it.
        2) wait it out and see what future options were available.

        I think the recent actions clearly show that Comey chose #2 and playing the best possible hand he could. Outside of publically disclosing investigation details….of which I fully expect he is professionally prevented from doing so….what he did was the most impactful action possible. I think he made a brilliant move against an almost all-powerful political opposition in Clinton-Obama-Lynch-MSM.

      2. His job is all politics. From the beginning it seems like he’s been trying to navigate the politics of this as best he can. To me, his original statement basically said that Hillary was guilty but he was told to find otherwise.

    4. Although there is evidence of potential violations of the statutes regarding the handling of classified information, our judgment is that no reasonable prosecutor would bring such a case. Prosecutors necessarily weigh a number of factors before bringing charges.

      Among those factors is the probability of the prosecutor and his loved ones surviving the prosecution of the criminal. It would be unreasonable for a prosecutor to proceed with a case if he knew that the most likely result would be an early grave for him and his family.

  43. Here’s the deal with Hillary’s email:

    Retired CIA officer explains the email scandal

    Nobody uses a private email server for official business. Period. Full stop.

    And there you have it.

    1. of course not. The sole reason for a private email server is to avoid FOIA requests. The sole reason to avoid FOIA requests is because you are doing sketchy stuff.

      Progs go through such intellectual hurdles to avoid facing this very simple reality.

    2. The sexist writer of this article is just man-splaining.

      At this point what difference does it make?

  44. “If I never see another Weiner again I’ll die a happy woman,” Hillary hissed.

    “You will never die, my love,” Huma whispered, lightly tracing the bridge of her son’s nose with a fingernail the color of dried blood.

    “Weiner email. Have you ever heard of anything more ridiculous?”

    “650,000 emails, love,” Huma said. “They will never find anything in among all those dick pics and onion dip recipes. I swear it.”

    “I’m not mad at you, Huma. Never at you,” Hillary grated. She snaked out a rugose tongue and began to groomed the thick hair around her anthracitic nipples.

    “We should have killed him when the child proved to be a proper Vessel,” Huma groused.

    1. “No one could have guessed Comey would betray us,” Hillary said.

      “See? No one! No one could have guessed!” an insane Mook gibbered. Hillary jerked the chain riveted into his testicles until Mook came and fainted.

      “January 21st I shall ascend and the Vessel will be filled with a power only it can contain. And they will all pay, Huma. Especially the Weiners. I hate Weiners.”

      Huma ululated loudly.

      “Weiner,” Hillary sniffed. “It’s anther word for penis, you know.”

      1. all those dick pics and onion dip recipes

        I larfed

        1. Wait, is Anthony RECEIVING dick pics, too? He’ll get it on with anything, won’t he.

          1. Crusty is…..Weiner?!

          2. He only looks at penises in order to make sure his looks OK. I mean, staring at thousands and thousands of stranger dicks is only normal body anxiety, right?

            1. And if looking at stranger dicks makes him hard, so what? That’s just something the body does.

      2. *gibbers in fear, curls up on floor*

      3. Ululated. Priceless. Yakub be with you.

    2. She snaked out a rugose tongue and began to groomed the thick hair around her anthracitic nipples.

      Taber’s Medical Dictionary would like a word with you, Saccharin Man. Also, if her nipple are anthracitic, does that mean her “Lotus of Pulchritude” is surrounded in a forest of peat moss?

      1. Her beef curtains both lactate and moo.

          1. Oh, THAT’S the line for you?

        1. I thought they were mutton flaps.

          1. Many animals go into the creation of Hillary Clinton’s genitals.

        2. Nictate?

      2. You should she her Isles of Langerhans.

      3. For the love of Satan, don’t go giving him ideas Doc!

        1. I fear it is too late…

          *1000 yard stare*

    3. She snaked out a rugose tongue and began to groomed the thick hair around her anthracitic nipples.

      You truly have a gift. A sick, sick gift.

  45. I still can’t get over the fact that it all ends with Weiner. It’s so perfect and symmetrical this shit can’t be made up. The fact that a man named Wiener is going to be in mentioned in History Books 50 years from now as possibly scuttling the first major women presidential candidates camaign is amazing, regardless of the outcome.

    1. “I have a legacy!” – Tony W.

      1. He’s gonna put that in his eHarmony profile.

        1. I figured Tony was a tinder kind of guy

          1. Well, yeah. Also Match, J-Date, Christian Mingle, and what the hell, Grindr.

              1. Man, i been married for most of a decade. I don’t have time to think about or list ALL the dating sites.

                Farmers Only commercials are hilarious, though.

    2. SEE! PATRIARCHY!!!1!!1!1one~!!!!

    3. Somehow or another with the Clintons, it always comes back to weiner in the end.

    4. “I still can’t get over the fact that it all ends with Weiner.”

      And Mordor crashes down.


    5. “Hey baby, want to see the dick that brought down Hillary?”
      — Carlos Danger

      Ann Coulter is probably just waiting to drag him off to her lair with a fourteen year old runaway to keep him interested.

      1. Once he impregnates her, she will bite off his head, and lay her eggs in his carcass.

          1. SugarFree’s influence is insidious.

    6. here is a god, a very very silly one.

  46. Hello from the Wastelands.

    I came by to say that this has been a most wonderful election season – intrigue, overt bias, dick pics, and dare I say the end of the end of the Republic? It’s been a good run, peeps.

    I’ve gotten over 60k words on my book. More on that later but I’m nearing the end.

    My wife and I are also approved – by the wonderful bureaucracy of the state – to accept two adopted children into our home. Now we just have to find some kids who are trapped in the system.

    On the job front, the one millennial employee in our department may be on the way out for lack of work ethic. The few times I’ve had to work with him – getting a FTP/s connection working – was not enjoyable. It was like pulling teeth. And this was a connection that provided 50% of our EDI traffic.

    *return to nitro-powered V8 machine and roars off*

    1. Can you please be a shameless self-promoter and link to your other works?

    2. You and your wife are awesome! Those kids will be in a great home.

    3. My wife and I are also approved – by the wonderful bureaucracy of the state – to accept two adopted children into our home.

      Anthony and Huma’s kid may need new parents soon.

      1. Adopting out The Vessel was the plan all along. It takes time to ripen.

    4. Avoid the kid with the razor boomerang – it never ends well.

      1. Here’s what I want to know. That kids appeared to be an aphasic savage, but turns out to be the narrator with an impeccable British accent.

        1. He was actually that Posh when the main events of the movie took place, but was in a phase where he pretended to not be able to talk.

          1. Forget the kid.

            How the hell do they explain away Bruce Spence playing two different characters in the second and third movies?

            Gyrocopter pilot

            Jebediah the pilot (who is totally not a gyrocopter pilot)

        2. hate to tell you dude, but that narrator is impeccably non-posh Australian

          1. Now you’re just making up nationalities.

    5. Congratulations. Good luck.

    6. Good to hear from you. Good luck on the chirrens front.

  47. Has anyone heard from Sarc on the outcome of his visit by CPS?

    1. No.

      If what I think is happening is happening, he probably is better off being quiet.

      My guess is that his ex knows his handle…

      1. That was my though, too. No news, in this case, is bad news.

        Sarc, if you need help and can get a message to us let us know…

        1. He was talkin’ bout social justice in the Brickbat thread this morning. No word on his Circumstance.

          1. Those who care about him might want to make their way back to that thread.

    2. He commented on the Brickbat this morning. So he’s probably not in prison.

      1. “…and you can make one phone call, or one post at your website of choice.”

  48. My wife and I are also approved – by the wonderful bureaucracy of the state – to accept two adopted children into our home. Now we just have to find some kids who are trapped in the system.

    By “trapped in the system” you mean “strong and willing” I hope.

    1. +1 “conflict mineral” mine.

  49. The cited poll was an online poll conducted by Politico and another firm, correct? How much validity does something like that have?

  50. I know many Americans don’t want to spend the next week talking about how the FBI is searching for Hillary’s emails on the same laptop that they were searching for child pornography, but if the alternative is spending the next four years talking about such things, then maybe that’s something they should think about.

    “Disgraced former lawmaker Anthony Weiner had a months-long online relationship with a 15-year-old girl, whom he asked to dress up in school uniforms and be part of “rape fantasies,” according to an explosive report Wednesday . . . . “I would bust that tight p?sy so hard and so often that you would leak and limp for a week,” Weiner reportedly wrote.


    If Hillary Clinton doesn’t want to spend the last week of the election talking about why a judge thought there was sufficient probable cause for the FBI to search one of her cronies’ laptops for evidence of her illegal activity, then maybe she shouldn’t associate herself with the kinds of people who engage in inappropriate online relationships with 15 year-old girls.

    I wonder, did Hillary discuss this case in her emails?

    God only knows what Hillary does when she’s not shaking foreign governments down for whatever she can get!

    1. Strangles puppies?

      1. Maybe should seance with Eleanor Roosevelt more often. Say what you will about Eleanor, at least she was discreet, and could offer some useful tips to Hillary.

    2. I’m guessing Huma kept all of the emails to cover her ass and that these are all of the same emails that were on Clinton’s server but include the ones that were deleted from that before being turned over.

    3. That’s the real conspiracy that would blow up the world. Hillary has correspondence with Huma about how Huma discovered Anthony doing this despicable stuff online and counseled her on how to make it go away quietly. Would a conspiracy charge come out of that?

      1. Not for Hilary. Not for one second.

      2. An election loss might come out of that.

        An impeachment proceeding might come out of that.

        A severe loss in public support for her legislative agenda might come out of that.

        That’s probably the best we can hope for, but they’re all worth having.

  51. T-minus one hour til my final interview with this company! Recruiter tells me I’m the top candidate. They want me to speak with the guy who is filling in in the job as a final screening.

    1. Knock ’em dead.

    2. don’t forget to salt the earth of your current place after you burn it down on the way out. also burn any bridges to keep others from tracking you. this is sound advice.

    3. Wishing you a good interview.

    4. You’re going to wear your Feel The Johnson t-shirt right?

    5. “MALE GAZE!”

      I’ll send you a bald, beefy, shoulder sturdy, rock steady, “UKRAINE IS STRONG” muzhchina your way, KK, as a reward should you get the job.-)

  52. Meanwhile, down at the nuthouse,

    Which brings us back to Mr. Comey. It seemed obvious from the start that Mrs. Clinton’s decision to follow Colin Powell’s advice and bypass State Department email was a mistake, but nothing remotely approaching a crime. But Mr. Comey was subjected to a constant barrage of demands that he prosecute her for ? something. He should simply have said no. Instead, even while announcing back in July that no charges would be filed, he editorialized about her conduct ? a wholly inappropriate thing to do, but probably an attempt to appease the right.


    The moral of the story is that appeasing the modern American right is a losing proposition. Nothing you do convinces them that you’re being fair, because fairness has nothing to do with it. The right long ago ran out of good ideas that can be sold on their own merits, so the goal now is to remove merit from the picture.

    I’m not sure Mister Powell would agree with that characterization.

    Krugabe must see that cushy slot at the top of the Federal Reserve organization chart slipping through his fingers.

    1. I don’t think Krugman wants a job at the Fed. He does his best work producing propaganda to justify the above average ineptitude of their central planning.

    2. Mrs. Clinton’s decision to follow Colin Powell’s advice and bypass State Department email was a mistake,

      Lol–while it’s true that Powell advised her that using private email on occasion wasn’t a big deal and that she needed to try to carve out waivers for convenience where she could (which we know happened because the State Department told her not to bring her Blackberry into the fucking SCIF), he never told her to not set up a .gov email address or do ALL of her government business through her unauthorized private server.

    3. Secretary of Treasury or nothing.

      As SecTreas, Krugabe can then issue the $1 trillion platinum coin at will, and make the Fed do as he pleases.

  53. And there’s this little nugget from the bumbled attic filled with broken chairs and abandoned kitchen utensils which is Krugabe’s head:

    And as someone who still keeps a foot in the academic world, I’ve been watching pressure build on universities to hire more conservatives. Never mind the way climate denial, attacks on the theory of evolution, and all that may have pushed academics out of the G.O.P. The fact that relatively few conservatives teach, say, physics, is supposed to be grossly unfair. And you know some schools will start hiring less qualified people in response.


    1. Is Krugman really that insane, or does he just work extra hard to confirm the world view of the people who read the NYT because that’s how he keeps his gig?

      1. I think it’s both. For kicks you should check out the comments. Careful though, they’re hilarious but they’ll also kill your faith in humanity. To say they’re shitting bricks is an understatement.

    2. So Krugman has figured out that quotas might not lead to the best person getting the job.

      1. No of course not, variations in the level of epidermal melanin result in a synergistic increase in quality of output, provided as few of the personages as possible are low in the substance. Diversity of opinion merely reduces the structural stability of the echo chamber.


    4. Wow. Just wow.

  54. The stupidest thing you’ll read all day: Man hangs black mannequins in tree next to his Trump yard sign. Claims just “Halloween”. This is why I don’t give a shit about those emails.

    Naked partisan hackery. But they seem to be shitting themselves about the resurgence of the email issue.

    1. “Someone somewhere did something that my hair-trigger racism-detector assumed indicates that this person wants to lynch negroes (but doesn’t, because Democrats) = Therefore, we must elect the criminal warmonger”

      sounds legit. was that a ‘tweet’?

      1. FaceDerp (yeah, I know), but not from DU or Kos, some org I’d never heard of before.

        At least the “Five Reasons why this doesn’t matter” posts have disappeared.

  55. Ellis6 Sequim, WA 4 hours ago
    Mr. Comey should resign — in disgrace. On his way out he should apologize to Mrs. Clinton and the country for his abject failure and lack of character and judgment.

    There are signs that this latest non-scandal will hurt Clinton at the polls. If Comey’s actions cost her the election, he will have struck a decisive blow for fascism in America. HIs will be a name that lives in infamy. How’s that for a legacy?

    NYT commenters are a special breed, but Krugabe’s mob are like some sort of super-distillation of the fever swamp.

  56. T-minus one hour til my final interview with this company!

    Wear your necklace made of human teeth. Show them you mean business.

    1. Teeth? Shit. I wore the ear necklace to my final interview. No wonder they make let me work from home.

      1. Ears and teeth can be extracted while the enemy yet lives.

        I wore a cape of skulls.

        1. But the skulls rattle. I prefer my business to be silent.

        2. That’s why taking ears and/or teeth shows more bravery. If your enemy wants them back, they can come get them.

          1. If their relatives want the remains that badly, they can try. The enemy themselves was obviously not up to the task in the first place.

  57. Lol I thought the last one was going to link to SugarFree’s blog.

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