Malheur Occupiers Acquitted, Pence's Plane Skids Off Runway, Soylent Recalled: A.M. Links


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  1. Just the right amount of links.

    1. But what about the embedded tweet?

      1. And the lack of an image – meaning no alt-text

        1. This is a loophole which I feel like I can’t officially complain about.

      2. That’s unacceptable and, worse, it adds nothing to Links. But it’s Friday!

      3. Sure it isn’t alt text, but it is the best we can expect from one of Reason’s many, many, many lefty SJW fake libertarian JournoLists.

        1. *spits*

        2. It’s sort of like special guest alt-text, but then again, from fucking Mike Pence.

          I’ll wait to see what she does with her next set of links.

          1. She is really playing with our expectations on this one. It’s uncomfortable, but i like it.

    2. ENB is the best.

    3. ENB isn’t impressed with your brown-nosing, Fist. She’s way too smart to fall for that!

      1. I criticize when necessary, and I praise when deserved.

        1. You’d be perfect if only you could spell

          1. Not enough extra u’s? Z’s instead of s’s where z sounds are made?

    4. Hello.

    5. Debatable.

  2. The seven people on trial for occupying an Oregon wildlife-preserve building in January have been acquitted of all charges.



      Fucking A, I’m convinced the progs complaining about this actually wanted the feds to go in guns blazing and kill everyone there.

      1. Well of course they did. Disrespecting the state is the same as disrespecting the people and they’re ‘the people’ so it was an assault that could not be permitted.
        The state above all is the progressive motto.

        1. Except states that follow constitutions guaranteeing individual rights. Those states are evil.

      2. Of course they want the guvt. to go in and blast them. Just like the way the are howling for the blood of the oil pipeline protesters in NDak.

        Oh, wait. Those guys at totes cool. The Bundy’s, though, have to be put down. Time to start the federal civil rights investigation….

      3. Of course they did, JB, of course they did.

      4. I’m convinced the progs complaining about this actually wanted the feds to go in guns blazing and kill everyone there.

        IIRC, some were openly advocating for just that.

        1. Yeah, but not all of them wanted to Ruby Ridge those teabaggers. Some others, for instance, wanted drone strikes.

          1. Ah, yes, give ’em the old Obama-treatment.

      5. Yes, they did. Some even complained as much at the time.

    2. Then they hit the defendant’s lawyer – and tased him – before dragging him off to jail.

    3. I think the heroes are are the jury that heard the government’s case and saw right through it. Glad it was tried locally.

      1. Yes. And I’m sure the US Attorney tried like hell to hand pick a friendly jury. The fact that they were unable to do so should give them pause.

        1. So much so that they had a BLM employee on the jury who said “Well, I’m very biased” at the start of deliberations. Another juror sent a note to the judge telling him about that, and happily the judge kicked that asshole off the jury.

          1. Nice to see that someone on the jury had enough integrity to let the judge know there was a biased government employee on the jury.

            Note to future bureaucrats–if you’re going to act as a fifth-column subversive of the legal process, don’t brag about it to people.

          2. Of course he’s biased…he thinks only black lives matter. 😉

          3. How the fuck does a BLM employee make it onto the jury in the first place?

        2. Ah, I didn’t know/forgot about that BLM employee so that was unintentional. That other juror is a hero. Thanks, all.

        3. And I’m sure the US Attorney tried like hell to hand pick a friendly jury.

          One of the jurors (thankfully thrown out) admitted at the beginning of deliberations that he was a retiree of the Bureau of Land Management and announced himself “totally biased”.

  3. 249) So the Cubs have tied the Series up. I think it’s no coincidence that Hillary, from Chicago, is running for president the same year the Cubs go to the World Series. I’m just not sure yet: Is the Cubs going to the World Series merely something that’s slipped through as reality bends around the opening of the nexus, or is it an actual stage in the ritual Hillary must perform to open it?

    1. Isn’t Hillary a Yankees fan? Oh, wait. No, she’s a Cleveland Indians fan I think at this point, because Cleveland is in Ohio, and Hillary needs Ohio. So she’s definitely an Indians fan right now. Hillary, I bet, could even be coaxed into professing support for the Browns if the right poll was shown to her rictus mask/face thing.

      1. She had to root for the Cleveland to win to get Liz Warren’s support.

      2. Except that the Browns deserve to win much more than Hillary. They at least play fair and tough each week, rather than sitting back and letting the media anoint them.

        1. Someone needs to ask Hillary (yeah, right) if she hopes the Browns win the Stanley Cup this year. The answer would knock six points off her polling for sure.

          1. She gets all her questions in advance so a staffer would pick that off.

            No one ambushes Herself with gotcha!

            1. You think her staffers know anything about sports?

          2. It can’t be nearly as bad as Kerry going into Detroit (literally the day after he was at a huge rally in Columbus, on Ohio State’s campus), and saying, “How about those Buckeyes!”

      3. her rictus mask/face thing

        That’s good. What do you call that clutching hand motion when she pretends to wave a friends in the audience?

        1. That is part of her ward against sunlight.

        2. I believe that’s the traditional motion the Queen of Spain uses when she’s granting a commoner leave to approach the throne and beg a favor of Her Majesty. It’s the Basque ettiquette of implorables.

          (Damn, probably should use a sock for that comment. I’m a bad person and I feel bad.)

    2. The Cubs bribed her. Its all over

      1. PB, you’re back! You must finally have found that spare $20 you owe and finished your book. Congratulations on both!

        1. He was summoned to defend O!care and the wonders of Social Security yesterday.

        2. According to Amazon, his shitty book isn’t supposed to be out for about eight more months, but you can pre-order it now if you like.

    3. The Cubs going to the Series is a side effect. You may also notice others, such as four blood-red full moons in one month, winged babies being born to schizophrenic virgins, and domestic animals speaking in the Verbis Diablo.

    4. I have one odd anecdote that suggests that baseball is somehow pre-determined.

      I once met someone who worked on a mobile production crew, I think for ESPN. This was in late summer of the year when the Red Sox won the World Series for the first time in a million years (2004?). The person who I was talking to told me that we should at least expect the Red Sox to be in the series because they had been scheduled to be in Boston in late October already. Now maybe they do that anyway to have their bases covered. But she seemed to think that he bosses had some kind of secret foreknowledge about how it would play out.

      I’m not much for conspiracy theories, but I thought it was interesting.

      1. I guess ESPN paid off Joe Torre to burn out his bullpen. I still get pissed thinking about him throwing Tom Gordon, who was 38 and had a long history of arm problems, into a 19-7 win in game 3 for no apparent reason. Shockingly, he was ineffective in game 4 after throwing in all three previous games.

        1. That was a really odd series. I was into the Red Sox at the time (now I’m mostly indifferent), so I quite enjoyed it.

          1. I won’t ever forget that ALCS, I don’t even really follow baseball but was clicking through channels while destroying the night’s starter twelve-pack with old roommate (who didn’t even follow sports at all, like wondered why fouls-were-strikes ignorance here) and came across the game; bottom of 9th, game 4, two outs – it was over for the Red Sox.

            I started watching, and roommate complained about watching baseball, so I filled him in on the lore and said this would be over quick because Red Sox and fuck the Yankees etc., etc.

            Ten years later, roommate is still die-hard baseball fan and talks ear off about designated hitter. Was a great series for the game that was.

            1. Yeah, that was probably among the most interesting baseball games I’ve seen.

              1. Absolute best game of baseball I’ve ever watched first-to-last pitch was Game 4 of the 2005 NLDS between the Astros and Braves. Astros close a 6-1 gap in the bottom of the 8th with a grand slam, then tie it with 2 out in the 9th with another homerun. Then there are 9 innings of shut-out baseball including Roger Clemens pitch hitting in the 15th, then throwing 3 innings of relief. He’s the winning pitcher when Chris Burke, of only 5 HR during the season, ends it with an 18th inning walk-off.

                I believe it’s one of the best games of playoff baseball ever, but it doesn’t get a lot of love because it’s the Astros and end-of-their-dominance Braves in only the division series.

                1. How about Jeff Kent’s walk off HR in game five of the 2004 NLCS? One of the best baseball games I’ve ever seen. Granted my baseball fandom is casual, but this game had everything: pitching, highlight-reel defense, dramatic ending…awesome.

                  1. That one was a good one too, and in the pantheon of “greatest games in Astros history” it’s up there, but games with “everything and a dramatic ending” happen semi-frequently. You are watching some of the absolute best people in the world at their particular job performing at the top level in the highest stakes; they’re usually going to do well. The exceptional playoff games go beyond that. As an individual game the Red Sox game 4 in 2004 wasn’t that exceptional (stunning come-from-behind); in the context of them coming back to win from being down 3-0 and then winning the WS it’s near miraculous.

            2. Great series, my ass.

              I was in the Marines then. My squadron was in Iraq when I reported in, so I got stuck on gate guard duty for a few months. One of the things PMO did in Yuma was send four guys at a time to the Chocolate Mountains for range patrol, based out of the SEAL desert training camp near Niland CA. We’d sit around in our trailer and sleep or play video games during the day, then ride around the range at night looking to catch scrappers or illegals. The week I was there was the week of games 4-7 of the ALCS, and I had to watch the games at the SEALs’ little rec center, and ALL of those assholes were cheering for the Sawx. It was a miserable experience.

              1. Well, I enjoyed it. A bunch of rowdy Massholes might have detracted. I’ve never been much for the rowdy, yelling at the TV kind of sports watching.

                But the fact that many Red Sox fans are annoying doesn’t make it a less great series.

              2. I love this place.

    5. It’s all a sign of the end-times.

  4. Drink-of-the-future Soylent is making everyone sick.

    They should have made it from healthy people.

    1. Sounds to me like they’re trying to create a self-perpetuating production cycle.

    2. Soylent makes people green!

    3. Instead of people who frequent Chipotle?

      1. oh, how. dare. you.

        1. “You had to *go there*!” 😉

          1. Well if he went to Chipotle he was going to have to go there, and over there, and over there and maybe a little more over there anyway

    4. [golf clap] for all of you.

    5. They should have made it from healthy people.

      A soda penaltax would seem to be the natural next step in the progression.

  5. I thought once Gawker went away Deadspin would go back to being decent. Not only has it not, they’ve just taken everything that used to be on Gawker and put it up on Deadspin.

    1. They had already been doing that anyway – for a long time now, half of Deadspin was listed as “crossposted from Jezebel” or whichever other shitty Gawker site.

    2. And Magary sucks now.

      1. His shtick is tired, and he injects his silly leftist politics into more and more of what he writes now.

    3. Deadspin hasn’t been decent since Will Leitch left as the chief editor, to be honest. At least when he was running things, the character of the site was irreverent but not deliberately vicious. That worthless asshole Daulerio took over, Commie Craggs became a prominent columnist, and it turned into just another prog-tard paint-by-numbers Gawker gossip site that happened to be about sports instead of dusty uteruses like Jezebel.

      Jalopnik was one of the few Gawker sites that was any good towards the end because it rarely brought up politics. Whiskey Foxtrot Alpha was pretty good too.

  6. Drink-of-the-future Soylent is making everyone sick.

    It’s not a drink, it’s a lifestyle. A farty lifestyle.

  7. The seven people on trial for occupying an Oregon wildlife-preserve building in January have been acquitted of all charges.

    Phew, I was worried nothing would cause mass internet outrage today.

  8. A birth-control shot for men has been getting a lot of buzz.

    Men can’t get pregnant in the first place. Dummies.

    1. Sounds like its working, ya dope.

      1. Lisa, I want to buy your rock.

    2. SHUT UP!!

      You are ruining Jesse’s new scam. Do you know how many guys have went to Dr. Jesse’s back alley clinic?

      They give Jesse $20 and drop their trousers.

      Jesse tells them that they will feel a little prick in their ass.

      They leave and DON’T get pregnant.

      Everybody is happy and new you are going to fuck it up for him? Way to go buddy fucker.

      1. Jesse’s more of the syringeful of roofies type of guy, I heard.

      2. Jesse tells them that they will feel a little prick in their ass.

        That’s not very nice thing to say about Jesse’s prick.

        1. He started it by mocking my beauty tips.

      3. “Jesse tells them that they will feel a little prick in their ass.”

        If Warty tells you this, don’t believe him.

        1. If Warty tells you that, it’s too late because you’re already in his dungeon.

  9. Dutch politician Geert Wilders says he will boycott the hate-speech trial against him.

    May show a greater misunderstanding of how trial works than courage but good on him.

    1. I would venture to say he understands exactly what he is doing. If he’s acquitted (unlikely), then he will have lost nothing. If he is convicted, he gains the moral high ground for not participating in a farcical show trial.

    2. Is “boycott” really the right word for that?

      1. It seems to fit the definition. I’m racking my brains for something better, but coming up blank.

        1. Usually you hear boycott in reference to a voluntary request or invitation. Either way, good for him.

          1. Spurn: reject with disdain; scorn. Maybe?

            Editorial (off-topic):
            We have too many words for the SJW crowd to be coming up with new ones at the rate they are. The dictionary companies are like – SLOW THE FUCK DOWN, you fuckers

  10. While most of them are still in shock/denial, there is a lot of truly delicious butt-hurt on the interwebs this morning about the Malheur Acquittal. While the Malheur occupiers were not the best spokesmen for limited government, the jury’s verdict sent a clear message about big, overreaching government. And that is what truly terrifies the progs.

    Bonus butt-hurt from both BLM and Pipeline Protesters about how “they only got off because they were white,” etc.

    Let me get this right. If you’re white you can occupy federal land over some bullshit…

    1. They’re terrorists, man! Terrorism is OK if you’re white!

      The tears are very salty and quite delicious.

    2. Ugh. The worst so far is the FB link to a story “White men acquited, native peoples being arrested violently — white privilege!”

      (a) I guess the pipeline protesters should be carrying guns more openly, that seems to keep the Feds more polite for longer
      (b) You can’t be acquited until you’re arrested, idiots

      1. Also, private land vs public land. I love it when progs refer to Malheur as “public” land rather than “federal” land – because if it’s “public” land you have a right to be there.

  11. You know that Brown, Rico Soave, and all of Reason’s other lefty SJW fake libertarian JournoLists are pissed as hell today, because they hate the Bundys and are rooting for the feds.

    1. “Rico Soave”

      This one’s pretty good, actually.

      1. And it’s the one that people came up with on his first day.

      2. Um, it’s not only been done, it’s the painfully obvious choice.

        1. Yeah, I think more people refer to him as “Rico” than “Robby.”

      3. Was he in Star-ship Troopers?

        1. Not sure, the only character I remember from that movie is Dina Meyers Breasts

    2. Whine louder, DD, maybe someone will care.

      1. You know Mikey has his shoes on the wrong feet and can’t figure out why his feet hurt.

      2. You seem to care.

        1. We have a troll white-knighting Mike M.?!? Jesus Christ, maybe the world IS ending.

          1. Possible Tulpa?

            1. Palin”s Butthole is in the thread today so….

            2. Of course it’s Tulpa. We’re all Tulpa.

              1. An “I am Spartacus” moment?

          2. This made me laugh.

  12. Soylent urged customers discomforted by version 1.6 of its powder to toss it their cookies.

  13. An airplane carrying Republican vice-presidential candidate Mike Pence skid off the runway at LaGaurdia Airport last night.

    NTSB: “The pilot was too Pence-ive in using reverse thrust on landing.”

    1. There’s no truth to the rumor, none whatsoever, that investigators found an icepick in the wheel well with Hillary’s fingerprints on it.

      1. Well, duh, she can’t walk out onto a tarmac unaided, she’d send some crazy guy for a couple of dollars instead.

        1. You blame her? She almost died once on a tarmac.

          1. She was also saved from prison time on a tarmac.

    2. All right, I’ll need three men up at the tower. You, Neubauer. You, Macias.

      Me, John, big tree!

  14. A birth-control shot for men has been getting a lot of buzz.

    +1 Still Life with Woodpecker

    1. Male birth-control makes love stay?

        1. Smooth, romantic Crusty Juggler gave that book to a lady to read, and she stopped right at point where he wrote about the half-shellfish, half-peach that occupies the warm, watery bowl of the Princess’ nether regions.


          1. Let me guess – she looked up and smooth, romantic Crusty Juggler was holding out a pack of Camels, wearing nothing but a keffiyeh and a smile.

            1. “A mongoose ate my underwear,” smooth, romantic Crusty Juggler explained.

            2. I was a Marlboro man, damnit! She just thought I was the biggest creep to creep out of Creeptown, which is true, but not because I suggested that she read a wonderful novel. I just wanted to be an outlaw, you know?

              1. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

                1. Thank you for your kindness.

  15. I’ve owned my Mosin-Nagant for about a decade now. In that time I’ve refinished the stock, had a gunsmith smooth out the mechanism, added a scope rail and a sight. And I’m still on the original bulk ammo I bought when I got the gun. But what I just realized is that with all the work I’ve put into it, the rifle is just now approaching the price tag I paid for my Savage Mark II. And the Mark II didn’t have a scope mount or scope on it when I bought it.

    Shorter me – for a gun I can’t seem to break, the Mosin was cheap.

    In a related note, despite the Mosin’s reputation for being heavy, it’s lighter than my Saiga .308

    1. Mosins are a good value, but I don’t care for that much recoil. I’m delicate, you see.

      1. But to hear the cannon-like retort even through ear protection and the echoing of the sound over the hills of Ilion as a challenge cry to the Remington plant in the valley below…

      2. The upside to that is most of the energy still goes downrange, and even non-delicate things have a bad day.

      3. The recoil is an issue. I have a paratrooper version and it’s the most exciting rifle to sight in, what with every successive shot further separating my shoulder.

        1. Mine is the 1944 infantry version. The recoil wasn’t that bad – it took an entire afternoon of shooting to leave my shoulder sore.

    2. Did it have one of the shoulder things that go up?

      1. Sadly, no.

        It has a wartime wood amalgm stock (random bits glued together until it’s a block big enough to carve.) It doesn’t look gorgeous, but it looks too good to throw away.

  16. A birth-control shot for men has been getting a lot of buzz.

    US researchers say the jab was almost 96% effective in tests on around 270 men who were using it, with four pregnancies among their partners.

    However, a relatively high number developed side effects, including acne and mood disorders.

    “It will make you feel like a teenager again.”

    1. “It will make you feel like a teenager again.”

      So it prevents pregnancies by making sex very infrequent?

      1. Turns you into my prom date. Backne had her ups and downs.

      2. Get some Clearasil.

  17. A birth-control shot for men has been getting a lot of buzz.

    Probably because it increases libido.

      1. Not clicking…

    1. “Get a boner from a light breeze again without any expensive pills!”

  18. I suddenly got the urge to visit a park

    In addition, you won’t get very far into a national park gift shop or a book of inspirational nature quotes without running across words like virgin and pure. Those phrases not only tie into the emptiness myth that dehumanizes indigenous people, but they also associate the American wilderness with myths and constructs of American womanhood.

    Gendering the landscape as a passive receptacle for manly penetration and conquering doesn’t help women.

    Going forward, we should work to untangle conservation efforts from language that relies on gendered binaries and power imbalances to gain traction. And we shouldn’t keep insisting on the idea that the only gorgeous, powerful, and meaningful kinds of nature are ones that are tucked deep and far away, where only certain people have the ability to visit them.

    1. virgin and pure … associate the American wilderness with myths and constructs of American womanhood.

      What is untrimmed bush, chopped liver?

      1. Nobody who goes to Yellowstone and catches a sulfurous whiff of the joint thinks ‘virgin.’

        1. Mary Jane Rotten-park

    2. “words like virgin and pure… only tie into the emptiness myth that dehumanizes indigenous people..”

      Wait, this writer makes a good point! There was never a time in history when the American wilderness was untouched.

      “…but they also associate the American wilderness with myths and constructs of American womanhood”

      And never mind.

    3. So, no more “mother Gaia” shit? Sounds good.

      Not sure how “pure” and “virgin” are gendered words. Maybe we’d better clear cut the rest of the old growth forests to make sure people don’t use the wrong words.

      1. “Old growth”? So ageist. Sad!

    4. By “only certain people have the ability to visit them”, they mean, what, people who pay the six bucks or whatever to get it? I had no idea that conferred such exclusivity!

      1. I think having the money or time to get there is more what they focus on. Which is legitimate. As is the fact that a lot of people aren’t interested and don’t care. Of course, the conclusion I’d draw is that we shouldn’t be forcing people who can’t or don’t want to use parks to pay for them with their taxes.

        1. As is the fact that a lot of people aren’t interested and don’t care.

          Without disagreeing about the libertarian aspects (quite the opposite actually); the parks routinely break records year over year; to the point where they’re becoming overburdened. Admittedly, there’s probably plenty of double and triple counting going on but it was something like 300 million visits to parks in 2015. I haven’t looked at the exact numbers, but I think that means more people would rather hike out into the middle of nowhere than visit and combined.

          Borrowing from Chipwooder’s point/comment, we forcibly pimping out our National Parks like $6 hookers when, in reality, they’re easily million if not billion dollar-a-year pornstars.

          1. There are lots of foreign tourists and people who visit multiple parks or repeatedly visit the same one, I’m sure. And the very popular parks probably account for most of the visits.

            It is certainly true that the parks could be serious money makers. But it’s also a bit like subsidizing college tuition. Everyone subsidizing the education and vacations of the middle and upper classes.

    5. “where only certain people have the ability to visit them”
      People with cars?

    6. Conservation efforts in National Parks have, in the past, screwed over Native Americans. But of course the writer is less concerned with that and more concerned with the language use making it seem like no one has ever touched the wilderness before.

      1. The National Parks screwed over white hillbillies big time as well.

    7. “Gendering the landscape as a passive receptacle for manly penetration and conquering doesn’t help women.”

      Nor does being a complete fucking lunatic.

      1. Unexamined is the dubious premise that everything must help women in order to be legitimate.

  19. Vikings coach Mike Zimmer denies slashing stuffed animals’ throats

    No, Mike Zimmer never slit the throats of stuffed animals, he said.

    The Star Tribune reported that the Minnesota Vikings coach did so as a motivational ploy following the then undefeated team’s bye week. The outlet later clarified that Zimmer wasn’t the one that threw red paint on the toys and cut the throats.

    “I want to set the record straight on an erroneous report that I feel like attacked my character and my reputation,” said Zimmer on Thursday, who then proceeded to read through some of the headlines that circulated about the story. “Actually, the stuffed animals I did have here were given to charity, to Toys for Tots.

    “It just kind of goes to show you that when one thing gets out there — and it was updated correctly, that I had nothing to do with it — but unfortunately, the headlines still keep coming out, and it bothers me.”


    1. Dicks out for stuffed animals.

      1. Junior, did you just come out as a “plushy?”

          1. Plushies are different than furries, although there may be some overlap.

        1. I was just trying to follow the lead of social media. I gathered that because the Harambe incident upset a lot of people, then this would be just as upsetting, and the…um, show of solidarity would apply to this one.


  20. Shit JB’s progs friends say, the “I said that in the end, all laws have the potential of resulting in someone getting shot by the state” edition. After they burned a strawman and couldn’t tell the difference between anarchy and libertarianism…

    I thought I knew the difference until I heard you going on about how all laws are murder (paraphrasing). It sounds like anarchy is the natural end point of libertarianism.

    1. Sure, if they’re willing to accept that Stalin, Mao, and Pol Pot are the natural end point of social democracy.

      1. This one’s so far gone I’m not sure he’d see that as an insult.

    2. Progs just don’t understand that the endpoint of defying any law CAN be death for resisting the state. Not MUST… CAN.

      1. What I actually said was that we need to be careful about saying “There oughta be the law”, because every law we make has the potential of being enforced at the point of a gun, and because of that, every law we make has the potential of somebody ending up dead.

        1. Growing up, I went to a Unitarian Universalist church, and in 1999, there was a very prominent white officer shooting black man case. The guy was fleeing from the area of a burglary (don’t recall if he was actually involved being reported), and made “furtive” movements in a dark alley, then of course, blam blam blam. I made that exact point, that if you are going to have any laws, the end result of those laws can possibly be death depending on the circumstances around the apprehension of a suspect of said crimes. Then I made the mistake of pointing to the Branch Dividians (considering they’re only a few degrees of weird further than UU folks, I thought it would make a good point) as another example of enforcing laws resulting in death, and the non Hippie generation people at the church went ape-shit on me. I’ll say this for all of those folks that actually were Hippie generation and/or did the Freedom Buses in the 60s. Most of them were almost as rabid as Libertarians on Civil Rights, and I think having them as Sunday School teachers was a huge influence on me becoming reasoned in thought and a libertarian politically.

          1. I went to a Unitarian Universalist church

            So, a progressive Sunday social club?

            1. Pretty much, although, like I said, mine was the least proggie of the three local churches, thanks to the influence of those Hippies.

            2. I am not a Christian, but I always found this funny:

              “Last weekend I went to a Unitarian Universalist Church, and the only time I heard Jesus’ name mentioned was when the janitor changing a light bulb fell off the ladder.”

        2. B-b-but just comply!!
          /every prog and copsucker

      2. Progs just don’t understand that the endpoint of defying any law CAN be death for resisting the state. Not MUST… CAN.

        The also don’t understand that being shot to death by a firing squad would be better than being locked in a cage while watching your children work to death in a labor camp.

    3. It sounds like anarchy is the natural end point of libertarianism.

      Maybe it is. So what?

    4. An argument could be made that anarchy is the logical end state of libertarianism. I have a hard time avoiding the conclusion myself. I don’t know about “natural”.

      Similarly, complete state control over every individual’s life is the end state of socialism or progressivism.

      1. It’s slippery slopes all the way down, but i know which side of the hill i’d rather be on.

        1. I tell people I’m a 500 year anarchist. Just keep moving towards liberty and letting free market solutions take over. It may take 500 years to get there, but I want to be moving in the same direction every time. If a full out war breaks out between the minarchists and the anarchists after 479 years, well that’s a risk I’m willing to take.

          1. Incrementalism for the eventual win!

            1. I’d take it tomorrow, but it wouldn’t last very long if people didn’t believe in it. The 500 year thing is just to keep them from calling the Feds on me.

          2. The problem with anarchy is that the war won’t be between the anarchists and the minarchists, it will be between the anarchists and the statists who want to use the weakened condition of the society to institute a state again and at the end of the day the majority of humans are statists because the idea that there isn’t some top man in charge of making sure they are ok terrifies them.

          3. I look forward to the end of the state in the same way that Wilburforce looked forward to the end of slavery.

            Slavery still exists, but it is in disrepute. Would that the state share that fate.

      2. An argument could be made that anarchy is the logical end state of libertarianism. I have a hard time avoiding the conclusion myself. I don’t know about “natural”.

        Anarchy is an abstract state as much as equality is. There will always be groups forming to enforce The Law even if only transiently (i.e. Mannie standing in as Judge for Stu in TMIAHM). I’m not an anarchist because I think moving between libertarianism and ‘true’ anarchy would involve people rather rampantly or forcefully inducing chaos. I think, logically, libertarianism is distinct from anarchy because it recognizes both the right and moral value of Slim and the stilyagi, Stu, and Mannie to contract among themselves rather than the stilyagi forcibly tossing Stu out the airlock.

        However, being so far away from anything resembling either of these situations, I can understand how anyone might consider them equivalent.

    5. Ananrchy may be the logical endpoint but I would just look at it more as a trade off. If you want to make a law you should be willing to accept that vilolently subduing someone or killing them is worth it.

      Some things are wort that, many are not. Since some things are I don’t believe it necessarily means anarchy.

      1. This.

        The difference between minarchy and anarchy is willingness to accept state violence for a small number of things.

        1. And then, when it seems convenient, a few more things.

          Repeat over a few centuries, and you get to where we are now.

      2. That’s why I say “logical” instead of “natural” endpoint (as you also did). Philosophically, it’s hard to avoid anarchy as the ultimate realization of the principles behind libertarianism. But I don’t think human nature really allows it to get to that point. Government is inherently a moral compromise. And is probably inevitable, whether or not it is desirable.

        1. I contend that government is an emergant property of human social organization, making it more rational to fight to constrain and shackle it rather than fight to try to prevent it.

          Of course, there is not agreement with my contention on this matter.

          1. Whether or not it is necessary or inevitable, I think that probably is the more rational practical approach. An-cap theorizing is interesting, but I don’t really see a good path from here to there.

          2. This.

            There WILL be government. People will demand it, or at least enough of them will that they will be able to use their numbers to force it on those who do not need or want it. Trying to get to the world where most people do not demand government means doomed Soviet style social engineering programs to produce the New Individualist Man so given that in an anarchic system there are no limits on the kinds of government that can get instituted it is best to work towards a system where any collection of people, even one making up very small portion of the people have the power to constrain the growth and power of that government and then accepting the morally imperfect solution of supporting that government while restricting it.

            After that, the price of freedom is eternal vigilance.

            1. There will always be guys carrying barbed wire covered baseball bats, in leather jackets and red scarves yelling “You pricks still don’t get it. You have one job. You give me your shit.”

    6. I liked the O’Rourke version.

      Would you kill you Mother to pave I-95?

      All laws may end up with someone getting shot by the state, but for some things, thats okay. But not many.

    7. Actually, they are sort of right, just like absolute communism is the endpoint of progressivism. But the reason that there is such a thing as libertarianism, as a thing separate from anarchy, is that we are not absolutists.

  21. Big money in politics is bad, except when it’s not

    A Democratic super PAC is injecting millions of dollars into the Florida Senate race in a bid to retire Sen. Marco Rubio.

    CNN reported that Harry Reid’s super PAC, the Senate Majority PAC, is injecting millions of dollars into the Florida Senate race to help Rep. Patrick Murphy in his bid to defeat Marco Rubio:

    1. Look on the bright side. Most of the money that Dems raise winds up in the pockets of the people running the organizations.

  22. A Colorado teenager has created an app to allow people to report and track creepy clowns.

    Helter Skelton is averted.

    1. Twice already….

      *narrows gaze*

    2. And now we know who started this whole thing.

      “Swarm, swarm!”

    3. A Colorado teenager has created an app to allow people to report and track creepy clowns.

      How pathetic is today’s generation that they can’t just type “” into an address bar and look at his campaign schedule? Sad.

  23. Schweizer: 12 Days from Election, Clinton World Still Has No Good Answers on Russian Uranium Deal

    Nine shareholders connected to Uranium One contributed a combined $145 million to the Clinton Foundation before or during the time the review took place. Some of those donations were not publicly disclosed at the time, as the Clintons promised they would.

    These facts were revealed in my book Clinton Cash and confirmed by the New York Times in their own investigation. And reporters have not questioned these elements of the story.

    There are three primary defenses that Team Clinton has offered to the story that certain elements of the news media has gobbled up eagerly.

    There were nine agencies that reviewed this deal and approved it?so there is nothing to see. What they ignore, of course, is that no other agency head received $145 million in donations from nine shareholders in the deal. The fact that other government agencies approved this deal is irrelevant.

    Imagine if a jury of nine individuals is hearing a murder case and one of the jurors had financial ties to the individual on trial. If the jury came back 9-0 for acquittal, does that mean no bribery took place or no conflict of interest existed? Of course not.

    TW: Breitbart. Another TW: The official Breitbart store. What the frick?

    1. TW: The official Breitbart store. What the frick?

      They don’t even have anything worth buying.

    2. Not talking about it at all seems to be working just fine.

      1. Yeah – “no good answers”? Why would you bother trying to answer a question nobody’s asking?

        1. Wikileaks released emails indicating that Bill Clinton privately received no less than $30M through for various speaking engagements that align directly with donations to the Foundation.

          NPR had the hilarious audacity to say, “Neither Podesta nor the Clinton campaign has confirmed the authenticity of the stolen emails.”

          I almost crashed.

    1. well its just this one time who would stoop so low as to try election fraud we’ve looked for fraud and couldn’t find it if there’s fraud the government will find it and put a stop to it

      1. ^^^ See this, everybody? THIS is how proper trolling is done.


    2. What vote fraud? The ABC affiliate in Philly had a report last night documenting that their cursory review of election records found at least six dead people who continued to vote in elections. Sure, not enough to swing a national election but maybe only the tip of the iceberg. I’m sure that even with photo ID, the crooks in charge will find a way to have dead people, people who moved, people who are too sick to come to the polls, etc. vote.

      1. I’ve heard that there is a coordinated, systematic effort on the part of various supposedly “independent” organizations that actually have very close ties to the DNC, Hillary, and the White House, that there may be video evidence of perpetrators boasting about their scheme, describing it in very specific detail, and claiming they’ve done it in elections past.

        But surely such a video would have been covered here at Reason, even if Hilldog’s shills in the MSM tried to bury it…


        1. You obviously know about them, what’s the point of taking clicks away from idiot college kid stories, jeez?

        2. I think that the shenanigans average out in most elections, but the difference this time is that it’s a one-sided ground game. Plus, as an article pointed out earlier, the election isn’t actually rigged if the rigging results in the outcome that *should* have happened anyway

          1. Why/ Why do you thin k the shenanigans even out?

            You have absolutely no evidence that suggests that the other side is doing it other that the people who have been proven–on video–to cheat saying that they do–and then, when pressed, citing ‘voter suppression’ efforts like backing voter Id laws as evidence that the GOP is ‘doing it too’.

      2. Some of the reports I’ve seen on Trump’s claim of “rigged election” go very specifically into one particular sort of fraud for their fake statistic about how rare voter fraud is. It’s the voter showing up at the polls on election day and voting under someone else’s name. There was even a CNN (?) report that pointed out there’s only ever been 11 documented cases of voter impersonation in the history of the universe or some such crap and then went on to allow as how there are other cases of other sorts of voting irregularities, such as a guy filling out a mail-in ballot for his wife and his kid who’s away at college. How the hell is filling out a ballot for your wife and your kid not voter impersonation?

    3. You only find voter fraud every time you look for it so if we stop looking it doesn’t exist.

  24. Alec Baldwin news part 1 from Popbitch:

    >> Baldwinner

  25. I miss college. Should have gone to UT, where she wouldn’t be looked down on for this sort of thing.

    A 19-year-old Texas A&M University student taking a topless selfie while driving slammed into the rear of a stopped police car and was arrested, police said on Thursday.

    The student, Miranda Rader, also had an open bottle of wine in a cup holder next to her, the Bryan Police Department said.

    1. The other day I was saying how I miss that first couple months of freshmen year where it’s all about making friends. There’s a number of factors that combine to make it a social experience we will never have again.

      1. Especially interesting if you are out of state and literally have zero other people from your high school class in school with you.

        1. I would be surprised if any significant number of my high school classmates even went to college.

          I would not be surprised if a significant number of my high school classmates were dead or in jail.

        2. I was in state, but when it’s 4 high school classmates mingled in among the 2000 freshmen it wasn’t really much different than none. The best part about that kind of thing was that most everyone else was also in that no-existing-social-circle phase.

          1. For a number of reasons, probably related to this, almost all of my closest college friends were also out-of-state students. Primarily because a lot of the in-staters went home on weekends.

            1. My cousin and his girlfriend were 2 of the other people from my high school, and they went home every weekend. Unsurprisingly they ended up transferring after a semester because they didn’t have enough friends at the school.

    2. “The student, Miranda Rader..”


    1. I imagine his exotic accent has Aussies just flocking to that!


      1. *slap!*

    1. Ode On The Mammoth Cheese – Poem by James McIntyre

      We have seen the Queen of cheese,
      Laying quietly at your ease,
      Gently fanned by evening breeze —
      Thy fair form no flies dare seize.

      All gaily dressed soon you’ll go
      To the great Provincial Show,
      To be admired by many a beau
      In the city of Toronto.

      Cows numerous as a swarm of bees —
      Or as the leaves upon the trees —
      It did require to make thee please,
      And stand unrivalled Queen of Cheese.

      May you not receive a scar as
      We have heard that Mr. Harris
      Intends to send you off as far as
      The great World’s show at Paris.

      Of the youth — beware of these —
      For some of them might rudely squeeze
      And bite your cheek; then songs or glees
      We could not sing o’ Queen of Cheese.

      We’rt thou suspended from baloon,
      You’d cast a shade, even at noon;
      Folks would think it was the moon
      About to fall and crush them soon.

      1. Good and cheesy.

    1. Ha. I had no idea jizztrumpet was British. I always learn here at the Hit and Runs.

    2. Eight pounds for five pencils?????? Thanks, but I’ll just write naughty things with the pencil I already have.

  26. Hillary Clinton Leads Donald Trump by 14 Points Nationally in New Poll…..lead-poll/

    I find it hard to believe Hil-dog has cracked open a 14 pt lead. Nevertheless, when she beats the Con Man the lamentations from the many “libertarians” here will be delicious.

    I will be sure to attend the pity party.


        (wingnut set in 2012 all predicting a Romney win)

        1. So robots are rabid pro-Trumpers? That’s surprising to me, honestly, since Hillary’s policies seem to be trying to maximize robo-employment.

          1. Those are jobs robots don’t want to do. Let the meatbags handle it.

    1. I bet all my money on a guy called Jeb Gold. A sure bet I was told.

      1. If Weigel’s shitty rock and roll book comes out on time next summer and actually sells a few copies, maybe he can finally pay that bet off!

      2. 8% return, guaranteed just like $600 oz gold!!!!

      3. Did you write the cheese poem?

    2. Not one single BLOOP or DERP.

      Am disappoint.

    3. The wookie would not be out campaigning for Clinton if the party operatives did not believe the race was uncomfortably close.

      1. Yes, the black vote numbers must be very worrisome. I suspect that a regression to pre-Obama level participation would put Pennsylvania and Virginia as true tossups.

        1. The very tepid mood of blue voters this cycle leads me to suspect it might be even worse than that.

          1. I had a 16 hour road trip through Iowa and Missouri last week. I did not see a single yard sign for Hillary.

            The radio advertising for Hillary is overwhelming. They are dumping huge amounts of money into the Iowa media markets.

            All bad indications for Hillary.

      2. The wookie would not be out campaigning for Clinton if the party operatives did not believe the race was uncomfortably close.

        ^This. And word on the street is that Barry will be campaigning hard and fast next week, too.

        1. BO loves to campaign. It’s second only to golf on this fun things to do list

          1. And just ahead of lecturing the country

    1. Friday, 19 September 2014.

      I’m pretty sure the charges were dropped and this guy got paid off.

  27. Scott Adams of Dilbert: I’m Endorsing Donald Trump, Because My Only Care In Politics Now Is To Push Back Against the Relentless, Remorseless Social Bullying of the Liberal Media and Political Establishment
    Team Clinton has succeeded in perpetuating one of the greatest evils I have seen in my lifetime. Her side has branded Trump supporters (40%+ of voters) as Nazis, sexists, homophobes, racists, and a few other fighting words. Their argument is built on confirmation bias and persuasion. But facts don’t matter because facts never matter in politics. What matters is that Clinton’s framing of Trump provides moral cover for any bullying behavior online or in person. No one can be a bad person for opposing Hitler, right?

    As far as I can tell, the worst thing a presidential candidate can do is turn Americans against each other. Clinton is doing that, intentionally.

    1. It’s her way of being president for everybody, or however she phrases it.

    2. Good on him for calling out that bullshit. Throughout my life, my lib friends have been insisting that I should vote Dem because Republicans only run on fear and divisiveness, but I see that so much more from the left than I do from the right.

      1. Its projection.

        Someone pointed that out here a few years back (Pro Lib, maybe?) and since then I notice it all the time. Progs project the worst about themselves on their opponents.

        1. Whatever, you racist, homophobic, misogynist!

      2. Someone summarized American politics for me this way a few cycles ago:
        Republicans hate the government
        Democrats hate Republicans

    3. My Only Care In Politics Now Is To Push Back Against the Relentless, Remorseless Social Bullying of the Liberal Media and Political Establishment

      I got to where Adams is a long time ago.

    4. One of the funniest moments of the debates was a woman asking Trump and Hillary if they could be a President for all Americans. You could actually hear the gears grinding in Hillary’s head because it was such an obvious setup for Trump to hit her on her “basket of deplorables” remark.

  28. Palestinians prove their peaceful intentions yet again

    The Palestinian Authority has dedicated a new school to the mastermind of the 1972 Munich Olympics massacre, Palestinian Media Watch (PMW) reported Tuesday.

    A school in the West Bank city of Tulkarem has been named “the Martyr Salah Khalaf School” in memory of the leader of the Black September terrorist group. Khalaf, who was also known as Abu Iyad, planned the attack on the Israeli Olympic compound at the 1972 Munich Olympics, during which 11 Israeli athletes and coaches were tortured and killed. Khalaf also had a role in the 1973 takeover of the American embassy in Khartoum, Sudan, which ended in the murder of two American diplomats and a Belgian envoy.

    1. I blame Jews Zionists. BDS forever!

    2. Quick, give them their own state!

    3. The Jews made them do it.

      Bunch of losers.

      Even if they formed a nation-state they’d be nothing more than another hostile, dysfunctional Arab state contributing squat to the advancement of humanity.

      1. Oh. Naturally, progs and leftists love this idea.

        Because, as we all know, leftists have no principles, are violent and are anti-humanist at their core.

  29. Donald Trump supporters warn of ‘another Revolutionary War’ if Hillary Clinton wins: Friday US election briefing
    Donald Trump supporters are threatening “another Revolutionary War” if he loses the November 8 presidential election to Hillary Clinton.

    The sentiments add to fears that, if the Democrat nominee wins, many Trump voters will not respect the result….

    1. That’s just the right wing equivalent of “I’ll move to Canada” which no one ever does.

      1. When they say “another Revolutionary War” they mean another year or two of being big meanies to media types and Jooz on Twitter.

    2. So…if you love your country and value the Union, vote Trump?

    3. Wait, so now the Revolutionary War was a bad thing?

      1. Depends on whether or not you were pro-British at the time, I’m sure. Maybe the reporter thinks her side would lose.

  30. Clinton Eyes Biden for Secretary of State

    Joe Biden is at the top of the internal short list Hillary Clinton’s transition team is preparing for her pick to be secretary of state, a source familiar with the planning tells POLITICO.

    Neither Clinton, nor her aides have yet told Biden. According to the source, they’re strategizing about how to make the approach to the vice president, who almost ran against her in the Democratic primaries but has since been campaigning for her at a breakneck pace all over the country in these final months.

    1. You know, I didn’t think there would be anyone less competent than Hillary at that job and we got Kerry. I didn’t think they could possibly find someone who would be worse than Kerry, and now this. Oh well, at least Bubba will have a wingman at the state dinners. “Is this man groping you? Let me help.”

      1. Could be worse, she could be considering Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.

        1. If 2016 has taught us anything, it’s that it can ALWAYS be worse.

        2. I think this is a peak derp scenario, but I wish we could come down off the steep part of the asymptote.

          1. “asymptote”

            I just learned a new word.

            Thank you, Brett L.

        3. DWS might be the absolute worst. I would have more faith in Biden.

    2. Neither Clinton, nor her aides have yet told Biden. According to the source, they’re strategizing about how to make the approach to the vice president, who almost ran against her in the Democratic primaries but has since been campaigning for her at a breakneck pace all over the country in these final months.

      This has to be trolling. Nobody is that stupid.

    3. That sound you hear is Putin fapping in the corner over how easy it’s going to be to roll the guy.

      1. Putin faps silently by murder-staring at his boner until he cries blood.

    4. Jesus! I click on the link and that giant picture of Biden getting super close to Hilary over takes my screen.

  31. The damn squirrels cut off my Alec Baldwin story, damn them:

    >> Baldwinner

    1. and again!

      Baldwinner: Life imitating art

      Alec Baldwin has been getting
      plaudits for his portrayal of
      Donald Trump on Saturday Night
      Live. He’s been channelling The
      Donald rather perfectly ? but
      maybe it’s not all just an act.

      Baldwin has a strong belief in
      deep state conspiracy theories.
      He’s started telling people that
      he’s positive Osama bin Laden is
      still alive. That the Americans
      only pretended to kill him. And
      that there’s a huge conspiracy
      in place to cover it all up.

      How far has he fallen down the
      rabbit hole? Who knows. Let’s
      just cross our fingers no-one
      asks him any questions about
      birth certificates between
      now and November 8th…

      1. Coffee is for pussy grabbers?

        1. Sorry, IFH. I forget we have ladies around here.

          1. Interesting site. Jim’ll paint it. That’s quite the dare. Where’s Sugarfree?

            1. Dave the hamster has been buried in a Tampax box. Please can you paint him riding a tampon rocket to heaven with a thousand cherubic Thora Hirds welcoming him to the pearly gates.

              *wipes tear from eye*

          2. IFH is on fire with hot links this morning! Or evening, or next week, or whatever the fuck time it is in Australia.

          3. Thanks for ruining my productivity ambitions for the morning with the Paint site. My wallpaper is going to be talk of the office today now.

          4. Well, fuck, my day is shot.

        2. A, B, C, always be closing. ALWAYS BE CLOSING!

    1. Let the lawsuits begin.

      1. The did say you can have it your way. “I want it like McDonald’s.”

    2. Enough with the creepy clown stories!

  32. Navy veteran in NSA data breach ‘stole numerous names of American spies abroad and sensitive operational details’

    Classified information stolen by a former National Security Agency contractor included the names of covert intelligence officers, according to a federal court filing on Thursday.

    Harold Thomas Martin III, 51 of Maryland, is accused of stealing some 500 million pages of information ? including ‘numerous names of intelligence officers of the United States,’ court records show.

    ‘Additionally, numerous intelligence sources and methods for highly sensitive intelligence operations would be rendered nearly useless should they fall into the wrong hands,’ prosecutors wrote.

    FBI agents found a treasure trove of government data in Martin’s home, car and property ? both in stacks of papers and digital storage devices.

    Prosecutors said the crime is ‘is breathtaking in its longevity and scale.”

    Ban NSA contractors.

    1. Man, the NSA is really bad at screening people. It makes you wonder what other sort of incompetence goes on up in there. The smarter the people, the bigger the mistakes has been my observation. Stupid people can only fuck things up in a straightforward manner, it takes a real genius to fuck things up horribly.

      1. You know it is funny, about 8 years ago I tried to get a job as an NSA contractor but couldn’t get through the security screening even though the worst thing in my background is a couple of traffic tickets and being a libertarian.

        1. I was being a bit tongue in cheek. Two failures out of 100,000 is pretty good. But man, what spectacular failures.

  33. Drink-of-the-future Soylent is making everyone sick.

    Because it’s people!!!!!!!

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