Hurricane Matthew Kills 269, Backpage CEO Arrested, Clown Dad Arrested for Tailing School Bus: A.M. Links

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  • A judge has ordered Uber and Lyft to stop doing business in Philadelphia.
  • "In much of the developing world… [Hitler] is perceived less as a mass murderer and ideologue of global conquest than as a stern disciplinarian who addressed social ills in a briskly efficient manner," according to Foreign Policy.
  • Polish lawmakers voted down a proposed ban on abortion 352 to 58.
  • The world's oldest cat is a millennial.

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  1. …which reached U.S. waters Friday morning.

    Build the wall.

    1. Our current sea walls are insufficient!

      1. I thought Obama’s presidency was going to be the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal.

    2. This storm wasn’t even strong enough to blow the dead fronds off the palm trees in my backyard here in Hades… er, south Florida.

      1. According to Shep Smith you should be DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        1. The frong page headline on CNN when I went there yesterday was, literally “THIS STORM WILL KILL YOU.”

          How’s them ratings, CNN? It’s almost like people are tired of your bullshit.

          1. I’m pretty sure whatever ratings they get are from bars, airports and break rooms. Basically places where they want the news on but won’t put on msnbc or fox news. Cnn and the nyt still have an air of respectability to the low info people

      2. I’ll trade lawn clean-up chores with you tomorrow. I’m in St Augustine.

      3. Orange and Seminole Counties went to full retard panic mode and imposed mandatory curfews until 7am tomorrow. Mostly, I think, so business owners could feel at ease.

        The storm is projected to peak at about 2PM here in beautiful Altamonte Springs with winds around 40MPH. Last night the projections were for 80MPH but the storm stayed a little further offshore than expected, which didn’t help the coast at all but made quite a bit of difference in the inland counties.

        Power’s on so far but there have been some brownouts. I hear transformers popping every so often though so we’ll see.

      4. Little rain and even less wind here in Tampa. Haven’t seen a single fallen limb.

    3. A floodwall, if you will. The Army Corps of Engineers is on it.

      1. And ten years and twenty billion dollars later the environmental impact audit will nearly be complete.

        1. And 20 years after that, a wall that holds the flood waters inland will be standing tall, and ready to collapse.

    4. Hello.

      “In much of the developing world… [Hitler] is perceived less as a mass murderer and ideologue of global conquest than as a stern disciplinarian who addressed social ills in a briskly efficient manner,”

      Euphemism for kill the Jews.

      1. Are there really even that many Jews in the developing world?

        1. Wait, wait I see a pattern – those countries that had jews developed faster, and now that europe has driven theirs out, they’re degenerating.

          Did someone send jews to china?

          1. Actually, there are Jews in China. Chinese Jews.

            1. I thought the Chinese were all honorary Jews.

              1. STOP IT.

                ALL OF YOU!

                1. YOU”RE SPELLING IT WRONG, IT’S JOOOOS!

                  1. No, you’re wrong too. It’s now spelled ((()))

                    1. (((Chinese)))

            2. “Chipper Morning Wood|10.7.16 @ 9:24AM|#

              Actually, there are Jews in China. Chinese Jews.”

              Hey, you’re that retard who insisted the Consitution says slavery is ok.

      2. You know who else…wait…

        1. Ouch, Denver J hardest hit.

  2. Gary Johnson is scheduled to talk about foreign policy at the University of Chicago today.

    SHOULD BE A SHORT SPEECH. Can I have a job with a mainstream reputable news outlet, now?

    1. +1 Aleppo, whatever that is

      1. It’s an unpleasant slang term for a sufferer of Hansen’s disease

        1. I made that joke before… People didn’t get it.

          Fortunate, really, given how horrible the condition is.

          1. That’s OK. Nobody got my Aleppo Messiah joke either.

            1. When the kids killed the man, you had to break up the band?

    2. What is Chicago?

  3. Gary Johnson is scheduled to talk about foreign policy at the University of Chicago today.

    And won’t they be receptive.

    1. What’s Chicago?

      1. A musical about murder, I think.

      2. Awesome band. Big in the 70’s.

        1. You mispelled awful.

          1. -25 or 6 to 4

            1. et cetera

      3. The place of origin for an inferior school of economics.

        1. Freshwater economics is the only kind you can safely drink

      4. A midwestern city known for its bread, cheese and tomato sauce casseroles.

        1. ^^^This

  4. that’s a lot of links

    1. Doesn’t mean you get the day off. Hop to it.

      1. Even the Wasteland’s master needs a day off sometimes.

  5. Students of all races prefer black and Latino teachers to white ones, according to a new paper.

    They can never tell how much chalk dust is on the white ones.

    1. Or dead skin

    2. Or whether they are hiding a clown heritage.

      1. +1 whiteface

    3. Don’t you watch Hollywood movies? Black authority figures, like teachers or police chiefs, are stern but loving. Sure, they threaten to flunk you or take your badge (depending on what kind of movie it is), but this simply inspires the white protagonist to step up his game and win back the black authority figure’s respect.

      1. See Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure plus about 70% of the cop movies.

      2. If God turns out to look like Morgan Freeman, it would make sense to me.

        ?\_(?)_/?

    4. They reeched theez keedz.

  6. Students of all races prefer black and Latino teachers to white ones, according to a new paper.

    Good, good, this seems like good productive work that doesn’t tell us very little and won’t be distorted.

    1. I immediately had questions about who they questioned, the wording of the questions and the order of previous questions. Also on how the sample was chosen and what incentives/disincentives were provided respondants.

      1. Now, I’m sure they polled twenty-thousand STEM undergrads with good grades and sober reputations, and irrefutably discovered that all decent people everywhere hate whites.

        1. Well, STEM students probably didn’t have any white professors.

          1. +3 Professor Singh, +2 Doctor Zhang

            1. At my school Peofessor Chen was known as “The Bamboo Shaft”.

              1. And Professor Geronimo made you want to jump out of a plane.

          2. now we construct the Flea Body Diagram

          3. now we construct the Flea Body Diagram

            1. Substlact one point for two fucktor posting.

            2. “You MUST HAVE THE PASSION!” In a high pitched voice, from a 5’2″ Bangladeshi man. Hilarious, but he was an awesome teacher, that pointed out a few of the theory parts I missed in Diff EQ class that are so important to Control equations.

        2. Well, i don’t know how to say this, but most of my black STEM teachers were native Africans. All extremely smart. Similarly, my only Hispanic teacher was from Spain. I did not prefer the guy who taught me circuits. It was extremely difficult to understand him, and it was uncomfortable when he made jokes about students shooting him if he made the questions too hard because he was from one of the Central African countries that was a constant warzone, and I thought he might be seriously speaking from experience.

          1. True story: the best math professor I ever had was African American. Integral calculus. I had a truly horrible white professor for differential calculus in my first semester of college. He was so bad that he obscured the subject that he was supposed to teach, and I actually began to doubt whether I was cut out for engineering. The black integral calculus professor illuminated the subject with excellent instruction, and I have since often thought that, to a large extent, I owe my success to him.

            After that I had several good math profs, but none were so exemplary. I wouldn’t say that I prefer blacks over whites, though, since that is a vulgar collectivist notion.

    2. Students prefer lazy teachers, so this makes sense.

      1. You saying they dondunuffin?

      2. Funny, that was my first thought, but, no, it turns out that Teachers of Color are just better teachers. Because kids like them more and that’s how you measure “better”. Had the kids preferred white teachers that would have just been racism.

        At least NPR has the self-awareness to put out front that they’ve told you before about how subjective self-reporting surveys are worthless – but this one is totally different and actually means something significant.

        1. Funny, that was my first thought

          Whoa whoa whoa Mr. Racistpants, it wasn’t one of my first ten thoughts, and if it was I would have the good sense not to admit that it was. Sheesh, I think I found Irish.

        2. Science now tells us that students of all races prefer black and Latino instructors.

          Since young white people now prefer people of color, can we stop complaining about how they’re all racist.

  7. Norway’s Prime Minister Caught Playing Pokemon Go In Parliament

    Solberg’s love of Pokemon Go isn’t exactly a state secret.

    Back in August, Solberg even took some time off from a state visit to Slovakia to hunt for Pokemon on the streets of Bratislava, according to TheLocal.No.

    Her decision to play Pokemon Go during a debate might seem rude, but it seems the game’s popularity crosses some Norwegian political lines.

    Solberg is the leader of Norway’s Conservative Party, and the person speaking during her Pokemon Go session was none other than Trine Skei Grande, the leader of Norway’s Liberal Party. Grande was caught on camera playing Pokemon Go herself during an August meeting of the Norwegian Parliament’s Standing Committee on Foreign Affairs and Defense.

    1. I would make a joke about the type of Pokemon characters one can catch in Norway, but I can’t think of anything distinctive about Norway.

      1. I can’t think of anything distinctive about Norway.

        That’s the joke!

        1. Home of a-ha?

      2. Grendelman: A native Pokemon of the nordic countries, fond of sneaking into castles under the cover of darkness and dragging it’s prey away never to be seen again. Evolves into the much more dangerous form Grendelmom

        1. *polite applause*

          1. I am baying like a wolf here

    2. Wake me up when they play strip poker during boring Parliamentary sessions.

    1. If that’s Brooklyn, New York, it’s sure become gentrified.

      1. Not my part of Brooklyn, thank god.

    2. Distressed Sunflower…isn’t that called college student?

  8. SJW Word of the Day – Saneism

    As more and more schools recognize the importance of incorporating social justice topics and consent into the classroom, it’s important to recognize how the US education system has so far not only failed to contest ableism and saneism, but also fails to challenge schools’ reinforcing these forms of oppression.

    1. There’s no way in hell Everyday Feminism isn’t parody, right? I mean, it just has to be.

      1. A good satirist would employ better grammar.

        1. Better grammar would be a tip-off that it was satire, so a really good satire wouldn’t. Poe’s law and all.

          But I suspect that EF is absolutely earnest and my only hope to die sane is self imposed exile to Patagonia.

          1. Ainogatap was I, ere I saw Patagonia.

            1. Brilliant!

        2. But a really good satirist would employ bad grammar, logic, etc, to capture the tone and substance (such as it is) of prog thought.

      2. I’ve known people who are that far gone.

    2. Integrate Disability into School Curriculums

      Oh, that’s been accomplished for some time.

      1. Now they’re the teachers.

      2. [golf clap]

    3. Does ableism becoming a thing mean midget porn should now be considered sex positive ?

      1. Only if one is Joe from Lowell; otherwise it’s just exploitation.

      2. I learned on here not too long ago that there is such a thing as nugget porn.

        1. I don’t know what that is, but I sure as hell am not going to Google it.

          1. You will, eventually. It’s going to eat away at you.

            1. Dammit, you’re right!

    4. Saneism.

      So, they finally get around to admit they are nuts. It is about time.

      1. Actually most of them brag about being insane

    5. Yes, it’s about time we addressed saneism. Why shouldn’t the insane have the same opportunities to occupy positions of responsibility and power as sane people.

      We also need affirmative action for congenital idiots. People can’t help being born stupid any more than they can help what race or sex they are. We shouldn’t rest until at least 50% of college students at elite institutions have IQ’s under 100.

      1. They’re already doing it! Did you know that 50% of college students graduate in the bottom half of their class?

        1. /pedant on

          Shouldn’t that be 50% of college graduates? Beause dropouts were students too…

          /pedant off

          1. Good point!

            So the statement “Less than 50% of college students graduate in the bottom half of their class” may sound wrong, but is technically correct.

      2. Uppity Zebber. Hit me in the head with a shovel.

      3. The AMA is very saneist. I won’t rest until at least 15% of brain surgeons are certifiably insane. We’ll deal with the oppression of certificationism later.

      4. If only there were some way to eliminate the inborn privilege of the intelligent, something like a chip placed in the inner ear at a young age that blasts brain splitting noise at random every few seconds and the frequency and volume will be set so that the higher your IQ the more distracting.

        1. -1 Glampers

      5. Umm have you missed the candidates for Prez? We have clearly progressed from our sanist roots into a new era of equal opportunity for the criminally insane.

        1. I’m just surprised no one made this comment sooner.

          1. Sane people would have.

    6. For able-bodied and neurotypical students, understanding real experiences of disability and mental illness helps dismantle stereotypes and combat stigma

      You’re so neurotypical!

      1. At least “neurotypical” is actually medical speak.

        Ugh. Now they’re trying to wrap me in their sticky embrace. I may not be neurotypical, but I’m not insane enough to let the lefties start to “represent” me.

        “Saneism”. Gah. As if every one of us wouldn’t prefer to be sane.

  9. Activist TV: according to Popbitch, here’s the next big reality show:

    To quote the casting call, they’re looking for “London-based 20-something year olds” who are “trying to persuade society, big business and governments all around the world to change.”

    Potential stars “might use social media”, “run protest campaigns” or “build up big communities of like-minded people to whip up attention around the issues that matter to them.”

    1. Young idealists who want to change the world. That bores me so thoroughly that I nearly fell asleep in my chair and pissed myself from reading that one sentence.

      1. Do… do you often piss yourself in your sleep?

        1. Are you implying that you don’t? Ha ha.

          All the cool kids are doing it these days.

          1. +1 Miles Davis

        2. i pissed myself reading his comment.

  10. A judge has ordered Uber and Lyft to stop doing business in Philadelphia.

    Thus preserving the culture of awfulness that is Crapafilthia.

    1. There isn’t a judge alive that could make me do business in/with Philadelphia.

    2. I interacted with some taxi drivers last week. I was driving a boom lift in front of a building and needed them to move. I jokingly said to my partner “an Uber driver would have moved quicker” while we were waiting. The asshole decided to loudly repeat this to the taxi drivers who we were asking a favor of.

      One of the drivers shook her head and said “Uber is only good for the customer, not drivers”. Um, since I’m only going to be a customer, where’s the drawback for me?

      1. Yeah, “fuck the drivers” would be the only response I could give the guy.

      2. “Uber is only good for the customer, not drivers”.

        Wow, that says it all right there.

        1. That’s not what Uber drivers say. At least the ones with whom I have spoken while riding in an Uber.

  11. A Massachusetts dad has been arrested for dressing up like a clown and tailing his son’s school bus.

    Don’t ask Byrce Harper about this. He’s already given his opinion on clown questions, bro.

    1. Dressing up like a clown – not illegal.
      Driving behind school bus – not illegal.

      Since when do we arrest people because their lawful acts are responded to with irrational hysteria on the part of someone else?

      1. Actually, these days tailing a school bus by itself might cause some alarm for some people…

  12. A judge has ordered Uber and Lyft to stop doing business in Philadelphia.

    Philly cabs are probably the worst I’ve ever been in (at least in the US). Of course the government’s going to protect them.

  13. Feds Are OK With Underwater Glock Fishing

    Even though Florida gun laws are among the most lenient in the nation, under Florida law, and other states for that matter, shooting at fish with a firearm is not legal. However, as Mr. Hunt learned, once you go 9 miles off the coast, Florida law no longer applies and federal law applies. Under the federal rules, according to the FWC, there is no prohibition against fishing with a firearm. It is likely one of those things that the federal government never ever imagined they would need to ever regulate.

    It is important to note that state gun laws do regulate spear-fishing, which often uses a gun-like delivery method for the spear. Additionally, most state regulations do not directly cover the underwater fishing aspect here, as most laws were designed with the thought that gun-fisherman would be firing from a boat, dock or land.

    1. That is dumb as hell. You would have very restricted range and the salt water is going to destroy your expensive gun in short order.

      1. Yes, but if you’re that far out, it’s extremely unlikely the activity could be dangerous to anyone but yourself so it doesn’t need to be regulated.

      2. I am confused. Wouldn’t you go deaf firing a gun in the water? Isn’t a spear gun awesome enough?

        1. Did you miss the part where the article focuses on Florida?

    2. It is likely one of those things that the federal government never ever imagined they would need to ever regulate.

      Spot-on assessment.

    3. Err how is this even a thing?

      a bullet fired under water would have lethal velocity for what 5 maybe 6 feet? If you’re that close to the fish already why are you risking major damage to your gun by firing it while the barrel is full of a non compressible fluid, just use a normal fishing spear

      1. It works like dynamite fishing.

  14. A judge has ordered Uber and Lyft to stop doing business in Philadelphia.

    A judge has ordered Philadelphians to stop being convenienced.

    1. If it came down on the side of logic and convenience, it just wouldn’t be Philadelphia.

  15. From the “You’re Doing It Wrong” Files

    On Monday, a man in Guangdong province did perhaps the worst thing you could possibly do with a pair of magnets, he got them stuck on his balls.

    At 4:48 a.m. that morning, emergency services in Zhongshan city received a desperate cry for help. 10 firefighters rushed off to the scene where they found a 45-year-old man in extreme pain. According to Southern Metropolis Daily, the man explained that he was practicing some “magnetic therapy” at home early that morning and in the process had unwittingly got his testicles trapped between two powerful magnets and was unable free himself.

    1. Traditional Chinese medicine…

    2. Magnets, how do they effn’ work?

    3. Almost worse than having two ex wives.

    4. The stuff men do to their balls. The soldier who shot John Wilkes Booth went this dude one better: he castrated himself with a pair of scissors.

    5. Tomorrow’s NY Post headline:

      Doggone! Dong gone in Guangdong.

      1. I laughed.

        1. Me too.

      2. Brilliant.

    6. Guangdong Man: “Hold my Tiger Scrotum Tea and watch this.”

    7. Ancient Chinese secret, huh?

  16. A Massachusetts dad has been arrested for dressing up like a clown and tailing his son’s school bus.

    Should I bother reading the article to find out what actual law this violates?

    1. Aggravated malarky and tomfoolery in the first degree.

      1. Both capital offenses up here in the great state of Massachusetts.

    2. They charged him with disorderly conduct, even though there is no indication he actually behaved as such, because there isn’t actually anything illegal about wearing a clown mask and driving behind a school bus.

      1. Ah, disorderly conduct. The charge of last resort. When we just don’t like you but you didn’t actually break any laws, we at least have some excuse to arrest you.

  17. Polish lawmakers voted down a proposed ban on abortion 352 to 58.

    WE KNOW ALREADY.

    1. Is this a dig at Poles? You know who else disdained Poles?

      1. Melissa Etheridge?

      2. The residents of Danzig?

  18. “In much of the developing world… [Hitler] is perceived less as a mass murderer and ideologue of global conquest than as a stern disciplinarian who addressed social ills in a briskly efficient manner,” according to Foreign Policy.

    You know who else is so perceived?

    1. Hitler? Wait…shit, now you’ve gone and ripped a whole in spacetime. Way to go Rich.

    2. *symbol for eternity*

    3. The damn German trains ran on time before Hitler.

      1. I thought it was Mussolini what made the trains run on time. You got your fascists crossed.

      2. Yeah but only the death camp trains.

  19. The world’s oldest cat is a millennial.

    And now doubt registered Democrat.

    1. Twice! But he caucused for Bernie.

      1. Now you finally understand what that was about when you woke up with your cat’s paw on your lips.

        1. Huh. You know, i thought i heard him whisper “we are the 99%…”

    2. You mean…democat.

      1. Well, I sure didn’t mean now.

    3. In a few years he can run for president…

  20. A Hillary Clinton-Themed Haunted House Is Coming to St. Louis

    Sounds scary! Through what means will we be illustrating these horrors?

    * Play “Cornhole Hillary” a ghoulish version of the popular lawn game.

    Oh! Because….wait, that can’t be right, can it?

    * See Crypt-Keeper Bernie Sanders, back from the dead and still complaining that the primary was stolen from him. Scratch the Smell-O-Vision card for a whiff of all the Free Crap Bernie wants to give away!

    Hang on, what did Bernie do? Other than bear a passing resemblance to the Cryptkeeper?

    * Unlock the subliminal messaging of a Hillary speech, revealed using 3D technology!

    From the group’s website, this looks to be a parody of the 1988 John Carpenter classic They Live, starring Rowdy Roddy Piper as a sunglasses-wearing protagonist who can see the secret subliminal messages that the rest of the world cannot. OK, fine, that works. What else ya got?

    * Tour the “Crooked Hillary” gallery of Art!
    * Get a front row seat for the Six Billion Dollar Man v. Bigfoot Hillary!

    Both neatly represented here, from the official website’s “gallery of horror”:

    The Bigfoot tie-in seems to come from the site’s assertion that “more people believe in Bigfoot than believe Hillary Clinton.”

    1. Bill have a ride? The Zipper, perhaps.

      1. No Mao suit? I told y’all it was no coincidence that she wears Mao suits to her public appearances. Signaling, pure signaling.

      2. Looks like a clown mated with Drew Carey.

        1. Who’s Line Is It Anyway now refers to cocaine.

    2. “more people believe in Bigfoot than believe Hillary Clinton.”

      Bigfoot Belief Stats: 29% of Americans
      Clinton Belief Stats: 38% of Americans

      Sadly, no. But it’s close.

      1. Are you sure that 38% figure is the number of people who believe IN Hillary, not merely believe that she exists?

      2. Nope:

        But, as I point out in today’s Washington Post, in a year of bipartisan lows, Hillary Clinton recently reached a new low, when an NBC News poll found that just 11% of Americans say she is honest and trustworthy. By contrast, a 2013 Public Policy Polling survey found that 14% of American voters believe in Bigfoot.

    3. I’m reasonably certain no one has ever been able to successfully cornhole Hillary but it wouldn’t shock me one bit to find out that she got off on pegging Bill

  21. Fly The Friendly Skies

    French intelligence sources told the Canard Encha?n? weekly newspaper that they are “confronted with a strategy of infiltration” by radical Islamists at Paris Charles de Gaulle Airport.

    Saboteurs have attempted to inhibit pilots’ ability to monitor aircraft engines, and tried to disable emergency exit slides, the newspaper said.

    One suspect, a French convert whose wife runs a Koranic school near Orly airport, fled to Yemen when he realised he was under surveillance.

    Air France personnel found “Allahu akbar” scrawled on the fuel tanks of close to 40 aircraft. One pilot refused to fly a plane with the markings.

    Inflight safety videos have been re-programmed to play first in Arabic, and the names “Israel” and “Morocco” were changed to “Gaza Strip” and “caliphate” in the Geovision system that enables passengers to follow the flight on their screen. A ground crew member refused to guide a plane piloted by a woman to its parking slot.

    1. ” tried to disable emergency exit slides”
      It’s not like those things ever actually get deployed. They are only there for decoration.
      Didn’t everybody just stand on the wing when the plane landed on the Hudson?

      1. Looks like they did

        I think they do automatically if you use the emergency door handle.

        1. Ah, ok. So the slide got them to the wing. My bad.
          In the unlikely event of surviving a water landing, your seat cushion can also be used as a floatation device

    2. “Saboteurs have attempted to inhibit pilots’ ability to monitor aircraft engines, and tried to disable emergency exit slides, the newspaper said.”

      You know, if you’re plan is to sabotage the safety features of the plane, maybe DON’T give away that the plane has been tampered with by writing graffiti everywhere and messing with the safety videos and virtual maps.

      1. They’re not particularly bright. We’ve got that going for us at least.

        1. The French? I have to agree.

    3. “Air France personnel found “Allahu akbar” scrawled on the fuel tanks of close to 40 aircraft. One pilot refused to fly a plane with the markings.”

      An Islamophobe!

  22. I can last longer than that…

    Two-Minute Mystery Pound Rout Puts Spotlight on Robot Trades

    In the span of just two minutes in early Asia trading on Friday, the British pound had plunged more than 6 percent, sending the fourth most-traded currency on the planet to the lowest level in 31 years. Mumford, who advises companies on foreign-exchange and interest-rate risks, scrambled to find out why. There was talk of France’s president pushing for a hard-line approach on Britain’s exit from the European Union, and recycled rumors of a “fat finger” trade, but nothing that would justify a drop of this magnitude.

    “It was out of proportion to the supposed trigger,” said Mumford, a director at Rochford Capital Pty in Sydney.

    While he may never be able to pin down the catalyst for Friday’s drop, Mumford and many of his peers agreed that the sell-off was probably exacerbated by computer-driven traders reacting at speeds faster than any human could muster.

    1. The quoted part probably could have been left off.

  23. “In much of the developing world… [Hitler] is perceived less as a mass murderer and ideologue of global conquest than as a stern disciplinarian who addressed social ills in a briskly efficient manner,” according to Foreign Policy.

    Do you really need both briskly and efficient there? They mostly mean the same thing in this context but “briskly” kind gives it a whimsical feel.

    1. For me, briskly implies an appropriately fast but not rushed pace, and efficient means achieving desired outcomes with minimal expenditure of resources. Neither seems to applies very well to Hitler.

    2. He was the Mary Poppins of genocide

      1. ?? A spoonful of sugar helps the horrifying medical experiments go down…

  24. Students of all races prefer black and Latino teachers to white ones, according to a new paper.

    1) Was it a white paper?

    2) So, students of all races are RACIST!

    3) What do students of the passing scene prefer?

    1. So I guess decades of “people of color = good; whitey = bad” indoctrination is paying off.

  25. Think Fast: Do Humans Have Hair on the Undersides of Their Arms?

    At first glance, the underside of a human arm may look hairless. But a closer inspection will reveal that tiny, colorless hairs cover it like soft peach fuzz.

    That’s because modern human beings (Homo sapiens) are covered with hair ? it’s just difficult to see, said Yana Kamberov, an assistant professor of genetics at the University of Pennsylvania.

    “We are actually very hairy,” Kamberov told Live Science. For instance, our foreheads, ears and, yes, even the undersides of our arms, are covered with tiny hairs called vellus hairs, she said. The only places without hair on the outer human body are the palms, soles of the feet, lips and nipples, Kamberov said. [Why Does Hair Turn Gray?]

    Essentially, humans are just as hairy as chimpanzees, according to research comparing hair density between the two species, she said. But whereas chimps are covered with scruffy, black hair that’s easy to see, most human hair is less visible because it’s minuscule and colorless.

    We are all STEVE SMITH?

    1. most human hair is less visible because it’s minuscule and colorless.

      You call THAT “hair”?!

    2. The only places without hair on the outer human body are the palms, soles of the feet, lips and nipples, Kamberov said

      Kamberov hasn’t watched much post-80s porn.

    3. Navel gazing.

    4. The only places without hair on the outer human body are the palms, soles of the feet, lips and nipples,

      Speak for yourself. My nipple hairs are three inches long.

      1. Swiss has hairy eyeballs.

  26. Stories of the Chicago PD, part 1, via The Intercept: What happens when an actual “good cop” runs into the blue wall of silence

    On May 31, the city of Chicago agreed to settle a whistleblower lawsuit brought by two police officers who allege they suffered retaliation for reporting and investigating criminal activity by fellow officers. The settlement, for $2 million, was announced moments before the trial was to begin.

    As the trial date approached, city lawyers had made a motion to exclude the words “code of silence” from the proceedings. Not only was the motion denied, but the judge ruled that Mayor Rahm Emanuel could be called to testify about what he meant when he used the term in a speech he delivered to the City Council last December, at the height of the political firestorm provoked by the police shooting of 17-year-old Laquan McDonald.

    In that speech, Emanuel broke with the city’s long history of denying the existence of the code of silence. He spoke of “problems at the very heart of the policing profession,” and said: “This problem is sometimes referred to as the Thin Blue Line. Other times it’s referred to as the code of silence. It is the tendency to ignore, deny, or in some cases cover up the bad actions of a colleague or colleagues.”

    1. Those guys are better off taking the money, moving, starting fresh somewhere else in other employment.

      Why would you want to work for something so rotten to its core? I couldn’t handle simple bull shit I thought to be against the interest of clients at a bank, imagine what these guys see daily.

      The options for good cops are not many. Either spill the beans or quit I think.

    2. I read that. While I’m pretty jaded to Chicago corruption stories, that series is pretty astonishing. Funny how worthless the feds were in that whole debacle.

  27. Emergency Declared After Flesh-Eating Screwworms Found in Florida Keys

    The screwworm is particularly destructive because “unlike all the other blowflies in the New World, this fly goes after living tissue, not dead tissues,” says Phil Kaufman, a veterinary entomologist at the University of Florida. The adults lay eggs in wounds or broken skin, and the eggs grow into larvae that tunnel in a corkscrew fashion into the body, hence the screwworm moniker, Kaufman says. “That’s what makes this one really nasty.” The adults look relatively innocuous, with a metallic blue sheen.

    The screwworm can infect any warm-blooded animal, even people, though human cases are rare. It’s primarily a problem for large mammals, such as livestock. Once an infection begins, the screwworm maggots eat muscle tissue and enlarge wounds, and if left untreated are usually fatal. After the larvae develop into pupae, they drop to the ground and develop into adult flies over the course of seven to 10 days, starting the life cycle again.

    1. And all of them are voting for their dark mistress Hillary.

    2. Flesh-Eating Screwworms

      Nice band name.

    3. Isn’t there some rapidly reproducing lizard in the tropics that eats these that we could introduce into Florida to control these?

      1. But then we need snakes to get rid of the lizards.

    4. Critters like this usually have multiple hosts to accommodate the various stages of their life cycle. One or more of those usually prove to be an achilles heel and so they are not that difficult to eradicate. Run all of the greenies away and this problem can be solved.

  28. Software Patents Headed for Invalidation?

    Even better, Judge Mayer pointed out that the First Amendment says that such patents should not be allowed. The whole concurrence is worth reading, but we’ll highlight some key points, starting with the First Amendment argument — which is kind of fascinating in that it goes well beyond what most people had talked about in the past concerning software patents.

    “[T]he Constitution protects the right to receive information and ideas. . . . This right to receive information and ideas, regardless of their social worth, is fundamental to our free society.” Stanley v. Georgia, 394 U.S. 557, 564 (1969) (citations omitted). Patents, which function as government-sanctioned monopolies, invade core First Amendment rights when they are allowed to obstruct the essential channels of scientific, economic, and political discourse.

    1. Yeah, the guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Alice didn’t kill software patents, and isn’t going to kill software patents. It has just limited the scope of software patents that can be accepted. Your software actually has to do something technological in order to be patentable.

      1. Many people forget copyright is still applicable to software. It is an e-book.

  29. A judge has ordered Uber and Lyft to stop doing business in Philadelphia.

    I’m not sure I can handle much more ‘moment’.

  30. Mass. National Guard, State Police raid 81-year-old woman’s home to seize pot plant

    The paper reports that the plant had been growing on Holcomb’s property in a raspberry patch. It was reportedly separated from her neighbors by a fence.

    On September 21, a military-style helicopter and police arrived at Holcomb’s home, entered her backyard and cut down the plant, the Daily Hampshire Gazette reports.

    Holcomb was not home at the time, but her son and daughter were. The paper reports that Holcomb did not have a medical marijuana card. Police said the plant was in plain view.

    1. That’s when you say come back with a warrant, and in the meantime you feed the majestic plant to your garbage disposal.

  31. Okay, so here’s the headline–

    “Study Finds Students Of All Races Prefer Teachers Of Color”

    And they go on about it at the link but……..

    Cherng and Halpin found that all the students, including white students, had significantly more favorable perceptions of Latino versus white teachers across the board, and had significantly more favorable perceptions of black versus white teachers on at least two or three of seven categories in the survey

    So in 4 or 5 instances white teachers were perceived more favorably. That is still more than 2 or three, yes?

    1. So in 4 or 5 instances white teachers were perceived more favorably. That is still more than 2 or three, yes?

      They’re using Common Core math.

    2. Acupuncture Helps with Joint Pain.

      And then you go to the actual story…

      A medical study conducted in Germany shows that acupuncture might help with joint pain ? but it’s not necessarily the needles that do the work.

    3. What a stupid bull shit study.

      I wouldn’t even answer such idiotic questions if asked.

      A teacher I liked in high school wasn’t even my teacher. She was a dyke who taught English part-time and monitored detention class – where we got to know her. She liked the way I dressed.

      1. She probably hated Longfellow.

    4. “significantly more” Whatever that means.

    5. “So in 4 or 5 instances white teachers were perceived more favorably.”

      No, it’s also possible that in those 4 or 5 instances the students viewed neither as more favorable than the others. Which is probably the case, since if the study found white teachers more preferred then black teachers the headline would have read “Proof Students are Racist!!”

    1. An animal lover’s worst nightmare: The moment a dog owner discovers her pet being EATEN by a python and is unable to save it

      Choked to death on a damn mutt. That poor python!

    2. “Hey! We were going to eat that!”

    3. The Gadsen flag of Venezuela.

      1. I was walking down the ‘international’ aisle of the local grocery store. They had the central and south american products broken down by country. As I passed the “Venezuela” sign, my first thought was “Shouldn’t those shelves be empty?”

        1. Or at least have hookers on them.

        2. Damn ‘Merican capitalist pig-dogs stole all the food from Venezuela!

  32. Stories of the Chicago PD, part 2, via the NY Daily News (TW: Shaun King): Officers sodomized man with screwdriver, city paid $4 million settlement, cops are still on duty with the Chicago PD

    On Aug. 28, 2004, Chicago Police Officer Scott Korhonen did something truly heinous to a young man named Coprez Coffie. Just 20 years old at the time, Coffie was spotted by Korhonen and his partner in what they claimed was a drug deal. Coffie, who was employed as a security guard at a local hotel, was then driven to an alley, handcuffed and strip-searched with his pants down. During the strip search, Korhonen got a screwdriver and jammed it deep into the rectum of Coffie ? causing internal injuries to Coffie.

    Yes, you read that correctly. Yes, that is not simply inappropriate, it is as illegal as it gets. Chicago Police Officer Scott Korhonen sexually assaulted Coprez Coffie. Coffie reported the injuries when they took him to the police station and immediately reported the injuries at St. Mary of Nazareth Hospital that same day. The man was literally bleeding from his rectum.

    1. Jesus, that’s… consider my lady-nuts punched

    2. Sure that’s not supposed to be Kornholen?

    3. And you say I’m bad! This is far worse than any time I link to a photo of Lena Dunham in a bathing suit.

      1. Hot… Further perusal shows she starred in a short film called Stripped. Gotta check that out. Don’t be afraid to click, boys.

      2. TRAP!

        1. It’s not. Click it. You can trust us.

          Go on, do it.

      3. Luckily I have a dark curiosity and I was rewarded for it. Thank you Crusticles.

    4. And I bet these two assholes would fight to keep their pensions they earned doing evil acts if ever threatened.

    5. Would anyone blame him if he took out some justice on his own?

    6. Well here is another case where a couple of criminals (for real) got more than they bargained for.

      I actually feel sorry for the burglars in this case.

    7. Guess they put the screws to him …

  33. From the correlation/causation files

    It’s no coincidence that abortions go up when Republicans are in charge and down when Democrats are. The two biggest indicators a woman will have an abortion are that she is poor (75% of women who have abortions make less than $23,000 and half make less than $11,000), and had an unintended pregnancy (half of U.S. pregnancies are unintended, and 43% end in abortion).

    1. Maybe the Democrats should get their sperm count checked.

    2. It even isn’t a correlation…it is cherry picking.

      He mentions under bush 2 that they went down when dems took congress.

      Last 2 years of Reagan and all bush 1 had full dem control of congress. House was all dem under Reagan.

      And bill had 6 years of all pub.

      Obama has had pub house for 6 and pub senate for 2

      Embarrassing

    3. So are they arguing that Republicans make people poorer, or that they are particularly virile?

      1. They are saying women would rather kill their children then have them born into the world run by a Republican.

    4. I linked this before – note the part where he says Democrats are better than Reps at reducing poverty and unplanned pregnancies.

      1. Yeah it’s the democrat underground site, if they said something that wasn’t either a lie or incredibly stupid, I’d truly be shocked.

        1. Sadly, the article was originally in the Christian Post, DU simply republished it.

    5. 75% of women who have abortions make less than $23,000 and half make less than $11,000

      I imagine because a good number of them are teenagers making no or little money.

  34. I have decided that anyone who uses the term “protest vote” for any candidate on the ballot is a shitweasel. I was listening to government radio this morning, and an incredibly smug local commenter kept referring, smugly, to protest votes/voters in both the local mayoral race and the presidential race. The sense that the “establishment candidates” owned all votes was palpable.

    1. I own all votes – they just keep getting stolen from me every year.

      1. That sucks, especially when you see where those hot votes end up.

        1. Al Franken’s trunk?

    2. The sense that the “establishment candidates” owned all votes was palpable.

      Calm down, Tonio. Pretty soon the government will be giving you some of their tax money.

      1. Not if you keep voting for the wrong candidates, it won’t.

    3. Oh, I heard the best argument yet about this last night: the only possible protest vote is for Clinton. Any other choice is enabling Trump.

      Are you unsatisfied with the federal government? Protest the status quo by voting for Obama’s third term!

  35. “Here’s the complaint against Backpage.com CEO Carl Ferrer, who was arrested in Texas yesterday. ”

    I read that and I understand the parts but they don’t fit together into any kind of logical, understandable way. It is pure non sequitur.

    1. I think the fact that they charged for the escort ads might be there undoing. But basically the lesson is run the site on servers outside the US, and keep all personal in a non-extradition country.

      1. How does any of it relate to child sex trafficking?

    2. Backpage’s problem appears to be that it provides an advertising section on its website labeled ‘escorts’, with a disclaimer that the section contains sexual content. This suggest that Backpage knows that it is a section to advertise sexual escorts and not some more innocuous type of escort like a city tour guide.
      If they didn’t charge to place those ads would they still be considered a pimp?

      1. “some more innocuous type of escort like a city tour guide.”

        Wait, tour guides aren’t supposed to have sex with tourists?

        1. “Show me on the map where the bad tour guide touched you.”

          1. [Washington Monument joke deleted]

  36. Marathon training made me fat

    First-time marathoners often assume the pounds will melt away when they hit the pavement. But for many novice runners such as Elbaz, training for those 26.2 miles has the opposite effect.

    “Every season, there are people who gain weight through the process,” says New York City race coach and nutrition counselor Daphnie Yang.

    She chalks it up to a few different causes. The most common is overeating, as hard as that may seem to ravenous runners. She says racers often fill up on a big meal at the end of the day to replace the calories they think their bodies burned during long training runs.

    “People are overestimating how many calories they’re burning over the run, and as a result they’re consuming too much,” Yang says. It’s a mistake any exerciser can make, whether they’re training for a marathon or getting back to the gym after a hiatus.

    1. Warty saw this and ripped the heads off a bunch of his Chyna and Terry Crews blow-up dolls.

    2. I should think the seamstress’ tape would be a better way to measure your body’s change when you’re doing the athletic-y thing. Muscle is more dense than fat and yu’re losing one, yes, but you’re adding the other and rearranging the way it’s all apportioned.

      1. But running won’t build up that much muscle.

    3. Yeah, it was the running.

    4. “She chalks it up to a few different causes. The most common is overeating”
      Wait, overeating causes weight gain? She’s a clever one to have figured that out.

    5. Wasn’t this essentially Taubes’ debunking of the thermodynamic view of caloric expenditure? Yes, of course [energy in]-[energy out]=[weight gain/loss (equilibrium)], but like any equation that can be rearranged as [energy in]=[weight equilibrium]+[energy out], or in other words you’ll tend to adjust your consumption to match your expenditure and maintain equilibrium. It also means that eating less increases the desire to expend less, and perhaps most importantly, putting on weight increases the desire to consume enough to maintain it.

      Caloric restriction helps, but the problem with restrictive dieting is that it’s not a long-term solution and unless you are a glutton for punishment instead of food you will at some point revert to bad habits. Hence why he advocates binning the idea of thermodynamics in nutrition and focusing instead on endocrinological effects of macronutrients, IOW insulin.

      1. (Not so much debunking as disputing.)

  37. NPR’s blatant concern-trolling continues apace

    How Do You Teach Politics In The Year Of Donald Trump?

    Hunt’s class seems to be part of a new normal: political science professors throughout the country are having to engage students who are following this election with equal parts fervor and disgust.

    I have students coming into my classroom with a surging antipathy for democracy. They are frustrated. They find it to be a ridiculous way to govern a society, and they are ready to dismiss it out of hand and start having the conversation about alternatives.

    “I think there’s a car wreck feature to it,” said Todd Shaw, who teaches political science at the University of South Carolina. And that can be problematic if students feel alienated from the political process due to the election season’s rancorous tone. “Fascinated by the wreckage,” Shaw said, “but standing off in the distance.”

    1. Alternatives to Democracy. *nods slowly*

      Oh wait, damn… I’m guessing NPR wouldn’t consider my alternative in their story.

      1. The only two alternatives to democracy are monarchy and Hitler, it is known.

      2. The only alternative to everyone telling each other how to live is one guy telling everyone how to live. Anything else is just madness.

      3. I’ll take monarchy in the form of a small principality, pretty please.

    2. Great, a generation of coddled children who can’t face reality and are willing to place their hopes in a strong man. This should end well.

      Also, I bet a bunch of Trump supporters are ready to give up on democracy, too.

      1. I asked this yesterday but never went back to check the comments.

        Are the safe spacers, microaggressor hunters, SJWs also the first generation that grew up with participation trophies and not keeping score in sports and games and not having their homework actually graded ?

        If so the future of this country looks bleak IMHO.

        1. Are the safe spacers, microaggressor hunters, SJWs also the first generation that grew up with participation trophies and not keeping score in sports and games and not having their homework actually graded ?

          Yup.

        2. Ya know, my daughter’s soccer coach (DON’T JUDGE ME) is hell bent on an undefeated season. We may have not inflated our kids egos but we sure did his when we gave him a monogrammed whistle last year. He now has the girls doing laps, push-ups, and drills at every practice. They are 6.

          And after the really little ones, everyone in this league keeps score. And no one gets trophies (at least at our level) so the parents are going to buy the girls one if they win. CAUSE WE A KICKING THEIR ASSES! 5-0 so far.

    3. Maybe use this season as an instructive lesson in federalism and subsidiarity.

    4. Because political thought has never addressed someone like Donald Trump in a democracy.

      I have students coming into my classroom with a surging antipathy for democracy. They are frustrated. They find it to be a ridiculous way to govern a society, and they are ready to dismiss it out of hand and start having the conversation about alternatives.

      Good. Good.

  38. sure they are…

    FBI agents are ready to revolt over the cozy Clinton probe

    Veteran FBI agents say FBI Director James Comey has permanently damaged the bureau’s reputation for uncompromising investigations with his “cowardly” whitewash of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s mishandling of classified information using an unauthorized private email server.

    Feeling the heat from congressional critics, Comey last week argued that the case was investigated by career FBI agents, “So if I blew it, they blew it, too.”

    But agents say Comey tied investigators’ hands by agreeing to unheard-of ground rules and other demands by the lawyers for Clinton and her aides that limited their investigation.

    “In my 25 years with the bureau, I never had any ground rules in my interviews,” said retired agent Dennis V. Hughes, the first chief of the FBI’s computer investigations unit.

    1. “Why, if I were still working, I would resign in protest!”

    2. I was wondering about the pride factor of the FBI.

      How they could stake their reputations on that idiot cunt is beyond me. If she wins, could you imagine the reign of arrogance?

      1. While they might not be the favored lads they are under most administrations, they would still remain…useful. Also, a diminished reputation would enhance the deniability factor. Picture a well-executed shrug, followed by extending hands to the side with palms facing upwards.

    3. They’ve never followed the law before. This is an outrage!

      1. Jumping in to point out that no, haha, I was not inferring, implying or otherwise stating, obliquely or otherwise, that Hillary followed the law. Any of them.

        1. Yes, claiming to have never had to follow any ground rules before doesn’t make him look like an angel.

    4. FBI: Foiled By Intelligence

      1. The FBI will never be able to repay the Clintons for the cover they provided after the Waco massacre.

        The cover up for Hillary’s e-mail scandal is just another small token of appreciation for Clinton’s absolving the FBI for its participation in mass murder.

  39. Amazon pulls ‘sexy burka’ party outfit after massive backlash

    Online shoppers surfing Amazon’s UK website for new ideas for upcoming Halloween dress-up parties stumbled upon the garment on Thursday. The mini-dress priced at ?18.99 ($23) is apparently a take on the conservative Arab women’s swimwear, except that it barely covers anything but the face, with a niqab leaving only the eyes visible.

    Upon making the find, offended users flocked to the item’s page to vent outrage, accusing the seller of cultural appropriation, racism, and disparaging the Islamic religion.

    “Is this some sort of mockery to the religion?” one of the users asked, while another said “it’s not a joke.”

    “Whoever you are fear Allah,” the user added.

    “You’re all disgusting racists. My culture is not your costume,” another offended person wrote in the feedback section.

    well there goes my Arabian Nights porn fantasy…

    1. Paper bags cheaper

    2. “My culture is not your costume”
      Might as well cancel Halloween then

    3. I’ve got to say, the sexy burka is working for me…

      1. Butterfaces rejoice!

      2. /runs out to buy one for wife.

      3. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong at all…

    4. Muslims getting offended warms my heart.

    5. “Is this some sort of mockery to the religion?”

      Yes. I hope so, anyway.

      Grow some balls, Bezos! And start marketing a sexy burka with Confederate flag print.

  40. So I just got an email that contained these words.

    If you do not receive this email, please let me know.

    1. Was it from one of the lawyers i work with?

    2. The onus is on you now, buddy.

    3. Put it in your parabox.

    4. We get notes from Comcast asking us to contact them at their web site if there are problems with our data service.

    5. Another example of idiots who cant tell the difference between what is in their head and what exists outside of that.

  41. At least 269 people in Haiti, the Dominican Republic, and St. Vincent have been killed by Hurricane Matthew, which reached U.S. waters Friday morning.

    I’m guessing Matthew seemed to oddly target people doing stupid shit rather than the totally random killing spree you might expect? Weather seems to do that for some strange reason.

    1. Yeah, it’s like when you read that flooding killed 15 people and you find out that 12 of them tried to drive their Prius or Suzuki hatchback through floodwaters.

      1. Funny, I was just informed that I am racist because Facebook doesn’t have a Haiti overlay thing similar to the France one they did after the shooting.

        1. overlay with a UN-stamped bag of grain. or a Clinton Foundation-stamped cellular tower.

  42. Frat cams give NC State intimate view of bros

    The cameras were ostensibly there to monitor entrances for security purposes, but Campus Reform has learned through multiple sources that they were set up in a manner conducive to monitoring student behavior in their personal living spaces.

    The university, though, has defended the practice to Campus Reform by arguing that the “video cameras are a part of the university’s security plan designed for the protection of students.”

    Fred Hartman, NCSU Director of University Relations, went on to explain that the school’s security plan “calls for cameras at the entrances and exits of all buildings on campus.”

    However, in at least one fraternity, there are five cameras installed at various locations throughout the interior of the house, including three in a common area?a place where the fraternity brothers spend their leisure time and host guests, with one camera capturing a live feed of the fraternity’s bar area.

    1984: The Manual

    1. It’s getting creepy now.

    2. “I will monitor these frat cams every damn day, and for free!”

      -voyeuristic perverts .

      Weren’t the deplorable Vanderbilt football rapists caught by people monitoring a camera in their house?

      1. We’ve got buuuuush.

      2. Grab it’s motherfucking leg.

    3. Sooooo uhhh, who gets to monitor the sorority cams? I’m open to a change of professions.

      1. We have bush. Repeat, we have bush.

  43. Wardruna has a new album out on October 21st. Link goes to a new video.

    *gazes toward the snowy mountains. I am ready to do battle, Odin*

  44. If you do not receive this email, please let me know.

    I immediately thought of this:

    Last night I saw upon the stair,
    A little man who wasn’t there,
    He wasn’t there again today
    Oh, God I wish he’d go away…

    1. One calm and stormy night..

      1. Suddenly, a shot did not ring out?

  45. Students of all races prefer black and Latino teachers to white ones, according to a new paper.

    Was it a paper written by the student of a black or Latino teacher hoping for an easy way to improve his grade?

  46. The Facebook comments are full of pants shitting parents with pants shitting kids who think the guy should be charged with a felony or something.
    Lol. I told them that my kid was going to be competing with their kids in the real world, and I suspect he’s going to wipe the floor with them.

    1. In re to the clown thing

      1. Huh. I took it to mean Trump haters.

  47. Confirmed: Bono has TDS:

    “Bono turned the Dreamforce tech conference into an anti-Trump political rally last night”
    http://www.techworld.com/cloud…..t-3647386/
    “U2’s Bono Preaches Anti-Trump Propaganda at Sold Out Concert”
    http://www.infowars.com/u2s-bo…..t-concert/

    If only he’d been so concerned about the lying POS who currently occupies the WH.

    1. ‘We must love one another and stop Troomp. We can do it. One note at a time. Because the world needs more Canada and less Troomp. Troomp does not understand what it means to be human and esoteric. Troomp doesn’t listen to the sounds of the forests and oceans…he listens to thunder and the eternal yelps echoing from hell…Troomp….”

      Audience looking around each other.

      “Who the fuck is Troomp?”

      1. XXX version:

        ‘We must love one another and stop Troomp. We can do it. One note at a time. Because the world needs more Canada and less Troomp. Troomp does not understand what it means to be human and esoteric.

        /casually pulls out penis and begins stroking it as ‘Bad’ plays low in the background.

        Troomp doesn’t listen to the sounds of the forests and oceans…he listens to thunder and the eternal yelps echoing from hell…Troomp….”

        Audience looking around each other.

        “Who the fuck is Troomp?”

    2. Who the fuck is Bono? What the hell kind of name is that? Is he a dog?

    3. What would we do without multi-millionaire Irish hipsters to tell us how to vote?
      Shut the fuck up, Bono.

    4. Meh, it’s Bono. This ultimately seems pretty tame for him.

  48. So what was clown dad charged with? Tailgating?

  49. So what was clown dad charged with?

    Clowning around.

  50. My favorite story of the day: Death-defying photographer whose Instagram images of New York City earned him a large following dies while trying to surf a subway car drunk

    According to police, Serrano, who was with a female friend, tried to climb on top of the train as it was moving just before 5a.m. on Wednesday, the New York Post reported.

    As the train neared the Fourth Avenue/Ninth Street station in Park Slope, Serrano was struck by an object as he ventured between two subway cars and tried to climb onto the roof of the train.

    Authorities would find Serrano’s body lying on the roadbed a short time later, the Post reported.

    1. Pulled a Karenina, did he? Can’t say I have too much sympathy for the dope.

    2. Did he die like Dennis Hopper in ‘Speed’?

  51. My newer favorite story of the day (and something that warms my cold heart): Thousands of Florida residents ignore the millions who evacuated historic Hurricane Matthew to SURF and PARTY their way through the storm – led by Vanilla Ice!

    One of the many photos has this caption: “‘Hurricane Matthew can suck my a**,’ a young woman was filmed shouting before she downed multiple beers.”

    The Daily Mail is the tits:

    Some people on social media also made comments about looting once the storm hits, but it is unclear how serious the tweets were.

    ‘As soon as this hurricane hit, it’s looting season,’ one person wrote.

    ‘Who tryna (sic) carpool to Jacksonville after this hurricane for when the looting starts?’ another said.

    ‘If I was in Florida during a hurricane I’d be looting,’ another added.

    Another local man shouted, ‘D***s out for Harambe! D***s out for Harambe!’ during a local news broadcast. The interruption was in reference to the gorilla that was shot at the Cincinnati Zoo in May.

    1. Another local man shouted, ‘D***s out for Harambe! D***s out for Harambe!’ during a local news broadcast.

      Fuckin’ nice.

      1. I never got the jist of this *joke*.

        What is the supposed point ?

        1. The point is, you get your dick out for Harambe.

      2. Which one of you is this?

    2. “‘Hurricane Matthew can suck my a**,’ a young woman was filmed shouting before she downed multiple beers.”

      I take it you’re already on your way to propose marriage?

      1. Technically, one of those is a malibu rum bottle. She looked a lot classier than I expected.

    3. it is unclear how serious the tweets were

      Youngsters have been trolling the media for… how many millennia now?

  52. Regarding Backpage, it’s almost like people were interested in getting something they didn’t already have like a smelly old couch, or perhaps Backpage is only for prostitution and people read it as “old cooch for sale.”

  53. OT: good news: I’ve been added to a local district court’s list of appointed attorneys, which means I can do less family law (yay) and more criminal defense. Sigh of relief.

      1. Thank you! Another plus is that criminal work requires less drafting of documents.

    1. Congrats! Family law is quite draining, at least from what I can observe of my classmates working in that area.

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