Clinton Campaign Complains About Lack of Fact Checking at Debate, French President Promises to Dismantle Migrant Camp, Arnold Palmer Dies: A.M. Links

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  • C-SPAN

    The Hillary Clinton campaign says it's "unfair" for Clinton play "traffic cop" at tonight's debate. A new Bloomberg polls finds Clinton and Donald Trump in a dead heat. Gary Johnson calls for space colonziation.

  • More than 300 weapons have been lost by or stolen from police agenices in Southern California in the last five years.
  • Syrian government airstrikes in Aleppo killed at least 85 people.
  • The French president says authorities will completely dismantle the migrant camp in Calais.
  • The government in Colombia is signing a peace deal with the left-wing death squad FARC.
  • Golfer Arnold Palmer dies at 87.
  • Marlins pitcher Jose Fernandez, who escaped Cuba, died in a boating accident, aged 24.

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  1. The Hillary Clinton campaign says it’s “unfair” for Clinton play “traffic cop” at tonight’s debate.

    A full day of Clintonistas lowering expectations.

    1. Trump crushed Hillary in the debates. Hillary kept trying to confuse Donald with facts and policy nuance and all that wonky stuff. But the zingers from Trump were devastating, especially the one timed for halftime on Monday Night Football. She tried to counter with all those promises of free stuff for anyone who doesn’t vote for Trump, but that new nickname Trump gave her is totally going to stick. GAME OVER.

      1. Oops. I was trying to reverse engineer Fist of Etiquette’s comment timer bot, but it went off prematurely. I must have put a decimal point in the wrong place or something. I always mess up some mundane detail.

        1. I was trying to reverse engineer Fist of Etiquette’s comment timer bot, but it went off prematurely.

          Goodness gracious.

        2. These masturbation euphemisms are getting pretty abstract.

        3. Two minutes is not a goddamned ‘mundane detail’, Michael!

      2. I will be watching MNF (because the Saints are playing will be on the field). But, I wouldn’t watch the debates even if there were nothing else on. It hurts my head like The Waterboy’s Mama to watch these types of things.

    2. Hello.

        1. These masturbation euphemisms are getting sort of poetic.

        2. Oysters on LSD?

          1. They are staring at the inside of their shells. Have a nice trip.

            1. “Dude, my palps are huge!”

            1. Three hours and someone finally posted this.

              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLrnkK2YEcE

      1. D00d.

    3. I’m assuming she means it’s unfair that a woman would be expected to do work you wouldn’t ask a man to do.

      1. She’s going to be on experimental combat drugs that give the user tunnel vision. They can only focus on one thing at a time.

        “Dammit Jim, I’m a would-be Global Tyrant – not a traffic cop!”

      2. I’m guessing they mean that it is “unfair” that she must use her time to both advance her own positions and fact-check her opponent’s pronouncements. The only alternative I could see would be to have comments submitted in advanced and fact-checked by the moderators. That would place the moderators in an untenable position and I can’t imagine any candidate participating in a debate under those conditions.

        1. *Candy Crowley furiously waves arm from in back*

        2. I’m guessing they mean that it is “unfair” that she must use her time to both advance her own positions and fact-check her opponent’s pronouncements.

          That is the argument and it’s bullshit. It’s a debate, not a press conference. You have to rebut your opponent as well as arguing for your own position.

          Add to that that she is as much of a liar as he is, if not more, so Trump has the burden to fact-check her too.

          1. No one tunes into the game to watch the refs.

    4. Sounds like she is looking to make excuses for a poor performance.

      1. And since when has she ever worried about keeping all of her lies in sync?

      2. Tornado gets it.

      3. Post-“debate” spin is most of the event.

        1. It may be entertaining, but it won’t be a “debate” by any stretch.

          1. I can’t sit thru them. The urge to throw things is too great when they something utterly stupid and/or evil and get rampant applause.

            1. Not quite Lincoln-Douglas, are they? 20 trillion in debt, unfunded liabilities to the moon and in active shooting wars across the Middle East. Would you let Harold drop a steamer in the lady’s room?

          2. I’m tempted to watch just to see if Hillary has a seizure.

            Best possible outcome, she starts falling, Trump catches her and gently lowers her to the ground, while yelling “Medic!” The optics on that would be hilarious.

    5. Well, its not fair for Trump to have to play ‘traffic cop’ and police Clinton’s debate lies so . . . sound’s like a level playing field to me.

      1. I only wish I could trust that Trump would call out Clinton on her blatant misrepresentations.

      2. Look, people are tired of hearing about her damned emails.

    6. When I was listening to the Clintonista making that argument, I kept thinking “what the fuck do they think a ‘debate’ is?” Does Her Ladyship really think that she’s so high and mighty that she shouldn’t have to stoop to responding to her opponent?

      I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. I’ve noticed that whenever progs say they want a “dialogue” about something, what they really mean is that they want to subject you to a tedious finger-wagging lecture, and your part of the dialogue is to listen quietly and then fall to your knees and beg forgiveness for your Wrongthink.

      1. ^ this

  2. NY Times: “[Our] country should put [Hillary Clinton] to work

    Great idea! There are plenty of rocks that need breaking, license plates to be stamped, orange jumpsuits to be laundered, etc.

    1. You know what you did

    2. Your link is confused.

  3. 239) As if I didn’t have enough reason to hate the candidates already, the leader of my writers’ group sent an email saying we’d be ending our bi-weekly meeting early tonight so everyone would have time to go home and watch the debate. “I’d rather stab my eyes out with chopsticks” doesn’t seem like the right reply when someone there asks if I’ll be watching, as this is a group of people I actually like. Maybe “why should I watch the debate when they’re not even including all the candidates polling in the double digits?” Is there something I else I could say? Or would it be better to just keep my mouth shut?

    1. I’d just keep your mouth shut. It’s unlikely there’s enough common ground to even have a legitimate disagreement.

    2. Yeh, though the temptation is there to say something, I’d just keep it to myself. When and if asked, then I’d be honest and let it out.

      Until then, SERENITY NOW!

    3. I like your first response.

      1. Yes. Honesty is the way to go.

    4. “I have to wash my hair.”

    5. I’d go with the “I’d rather stab out my eyes with chopsticks” line.

    6. “I write fiction to escape watching two sociopaths lie about how great their leadership is going to be for America.”

      1. Needs scare-quotes around leadership.

        JATNAS, do you number your stories?

        1. “Are you watching the debate, JATNAS?”

          “Number 38!”

        2. Could I get a grammar check on this? Since they are lying anyways, do I scare-quote leadership?

    7. Why watch when I can learn what didn’t happen in the NYT tomorrow?

    8. “I need extra time to get drunk beforehand”

      but seriously, why are you complaining about a meeting ending early?

      1. This is a fun meeting. Good comment, though, I might go with that one if I can’t find the willpower to keep my mouth shut.

    9. I would have responded to the email with the first and respond to in-person questions with the second.

    10. why should I watch the debate when they’re not even including all the candidates polling in the double digits?

      To participate in the livetweet thread this evening?

    11. “I’m sorry, but I have to reorganize my sock drawer. It’s so much more urgent than the debate, I have really let it slide.”

    12. “I’m sorry, but I have to reorganize my sock drawer. It’s so much more urgent than the debate, I have really let it slide.”

    13. “I’m sorry, but I have to reorganize my sock drawer. It’s so much more urgent than the debate, I have really let it slide.”

    14. “I’m sorry, but I have to reorganize my sock drawer. It’s so much more urgent than the debate, I have really let it slide.”

    15. “I’m sorry, but I have to reorganize my sock drawer. It’s so much more urgent than the debate, I have really let it slide.”

      1. Maybe time to re-evaluate your morning coffee intake?

      2. Squirrels like socks, apparently.

  4. Third?

  5. Third?

    1. And fourth. Thanks squirrels!

  6. The government in Colombia is signing a peae deal with the left-wing death squad FARC.

    I don’t even want to know what that is.

    1. They have to read the entire collected works of SugarFree, and spend a weekend with STEVE SMITH before engaging Warty in a lift-off by deadlift.

      That should be the last anyone hears of FARC.

      1. “They have to read the entire collected works of SugarFree”

        That reminds me… is there a place I can go to get the entire volume of His Dark Works??

          1. You put pictures with your stories?!? *goes home, pets dog, then blows brains out after looking at the image of a skin tent

          2. Sweet screaming Jesus on a stick, MAKE IT STOP!!

          3. I used to have that bookmarked. Thankfully my computer crashed.

          4. Rather than watch the debates, I’m going to read your blog. Again.

            btw, the pictures add a distinct touch of the grotesque.

          5. Haha oh man, a sour-delicious combo of nauseating hilarity. Is that what you are going for or is there like deep rooted wisdom buried somewhere?

    2. Not really accurate to call FARC a death squad, which implies a limited membership. As recently as 2010 they had nearly 15,000 members. Wikipedia calls them an “irregular army.”

      1. They have fallen on hard times, as their patrons have not been able to fund them, and the Colombians are getting heartily sick of them too.

        1. Yeah, the implosion of Venezuela’s oil industry is a real disaster for Latin America’s leftist movements, and a boon for mankind. I think the Colombians have been heartily sick of FARC for a long time–there may have been a period in the 60s and 70s when that sort of revolutionary movement seemed glamorous, but we’re long past that.

  7. Syrian government airstrikes in Aleppo killed at least 85 people.

    ?

    1. Well, when the air goes on strike and refuses to work, it becomes hard to breathe. In some countries, it’s hard to find free market air.

    2. I’ve heard it was South Leppo but other sources say East Leppo. Might be a strategic reason for not identifying which Leppo they hit.

      1. ‘Yo bro, you from Southie?! Me too!’

    3. What’s “Aleppo”?

      1. A slang term for someone with Hansen’s disease.

          1. Why do people keep stepping on my jokes?

            1. It’s almost as if they are uncivilized.

  8. Marlins pitcher Jose Fernandez, who escaped Cuba, died in a boating accident, aged 24.

    In other news, Bryce Harper hurt his finger.

    1. Since when is a cuban dying in a boating accident news?

      1. Not many Cubans are the lynchpins of a multi-100-million dollar sports franchise. Biggest baseball death of an active player since Roberto Clemente?

        1. You missed the attept at an offensive joke.

          *kicks pebble.*

          1. You missed the attept at an offensive joke.

            That’s probably my fault for opening the door.

          2. I got it. And laughed but was embarrassed that I did so.

        2. The spring training boating death in early 90s that killed 3 Cleveland Indians might have technically been bigger. But probably not.

        3. Thurman Munson, maybe

          1. That’s probably right, though I’d contend that the impact of this is more severe: Clemente and Munson were both past their primes while Fernandez likely had at least a decade of good years in his future.

    2. In a rare clarification, I was making light of the embarrassing bench clearing brawl, not the accident.

      1. I immediately recognized the reference, but then again I am not a miserable dork like Agador Spartacus over there.

        1. As primarily a hockey fan, I find “brawls” in major league baseball somewhat cringe worthy. However, tossing a fastball at someone’s head might count as justification for some action. Maybe a stern word on social media.

          1. I like baseball brawls, especially when the bullpen guys come running out. They are so far from the action, they really have no dog in the fight.

            1. From a George Kimball essay about a Yankees-Redsox brawl from the late 70s:

              Logic would suggest that it would be a lot simpler to just pair off out in the bullpen, particularly since, in its new configuration, Yankee Stadium’s bullpens shared a common gate. So, when the fight started, everybody from both bullpens jumped up simultaneously to race in to where the action was. Tom House, then a Boston reliever, told me that when he got to the gate, Catfish Hunter was gallantly holding it open for him.

              “See ya in there, kid,” said Catfish as House trotted past.

    3. Its interesting to me how nobody is talking about the fact that whoever was driving the boat hit a jetty fast enough to eject and kill everyone aboard. And was discovered about 3:30am. I’m not saying stupidity played a factor, but I figure you have to be doing at least 20 knots to kill even the helmsman. In the dark. Well after midnight.

      1. I’m not a boater so I don’t know what people usually do on the water at night, but I assume it’s being discussed at length, or will be.

        1. I guess my point is, had three guys died in a single car wreck at 3:30am, there’d be a lot more talk about drunken driving and bad decisions, even in the first 24 hours.

          1. Maybe the comparison there doesn’t completely work, since you are more likely (I would think) to take out another car on the road than another boat on the water. Then again logic seldom gets applied to collective outrage on anything alcohol related.

            Wait, was this alcohol related?

            1. Of course not. The guy was in his 20s. Since when do young men, especially young sports stars with a lot of money to burn, go out drinking late at night?

              1. He was really excited about Sunday School and was trying to get to church early.

              2. He was really excited about Sunday School and was trying to get to church early.

            2. I’m not saying it definitely was alcohol related. I’m just saying that if you’re going fast enough to flip your boat on a jetty during “the stupid hours”, you made some poor decisions along the way. Maybe it was alcohol, maybe it wasn’t. Anything can be hard to see on the water at night, you don’t really have effective headlights, but you should also moderate your speed appropriately. Fast enough to flip is way too fast.

              1. Boating at night is a whole different animal. Not like driving a car where you just turn on the headlights. Some people boat at night, but I wouldn’t do it.

      2. Good point. Fernandez was presumably rich enough he wouldn’t risk anything over a drug deal, so this was probably pure drunken stupidity.

        1. I liked the suggestion that he was running Cubans to Florida.

          But drunken stupidity is the way to bet.

          1. Talk about your death in glorious heroism coverage from ESPN…. although now that Cuba is open to the US again, the Disney execs might want to play nice with the Castros.

  9. Man, Ed. Such upbeat links you give us.

  10. More than 300 weapons have been lost by or stolen from police agenices in Southern California in the last five years.

    Any of those MRAPS?

    1. You can’t lose that. Its been sitting in the front of their parking garage and hasn’t even been started in 3 years. Doesn’t matter which agency either – its the same for all of them.

      1. hasn’t even been started in 3 years.

        Do you even parade, bro?

    2. More than 300 weapons have been lost by or stolen from police agenices in Southern California in the last five years.

      Or sold by corrupt cops to you-know-who.

  11. Gary Johnson calls for space colonziation.

    More than 300 weapons have been lost by or stolen from police agenices in Southern California in the last five years.

    The government in Colombia is signing a peae deal with the left-wing death squad FARC.

    Out of his way, y’all. He’s a professional.

    1. “Gary Johnson calls for space colonization.”

      If you’re going to kick the climate change can down the road, put some leg into it.

    2. Gary Johnson calls for space colonziation.

      +1 Moon Base Newt

    3. Keep in mind they’re preparing for tonight’s debate. I watched 30 seconds of CNN and felt like I needed a drink, I’m sure they’re into their second bottle already. Be grateful the links even resemble human speech.

      1. Maybe Ed’s coffee pot had a tragic accident in the night.

  12. Socialism’s left Venezuela a ‘walking dead’ nation
    Here’s socialism at its finest: Venezuela is now forced to import oil from the United States, the devil in the eyes of the regime….

    1. Venezuela is a fixed point of socialism. f(x) = x.

  13. The comments are gold:
    My dream for my daughter is to become a single mom
    …I also have time to exercise, enjoy vacations that are relaxing and involve lots of book-reading, and I have had time to nurture a relationship with my new husband, with fewer of the stresses of blended families….

    1. Rational Male: For Better or Worse
      …Whether by our conditioning or some intrinsic idealism, we want to believe in the earnestness of the Old Set of Books in the face of New Book women openly telling us “You stupid men, this is what we plan to do to you from the outset. Naked, open Hypergamy and all its machinations is what I will teach my daughters and grand daughters to do to your sons and grandsons. And you will take it and accept your Alpha Fucks or Beta Bucks roles in all of it because you’ll never get past your inherent idealism that we might not do all of this.”…

      1. …There must come a point where men must unapologetically correct women for the betterment of society. Today this is a bold statement, one that could likely bring consequences to man’s life, but it’s only a bold thought because we’ve allowed women and their imperatives define the Frame of our social order for so long now. The socio-intersexual conditions we find ourselves in today are the direct result of women’s inability to process rapid social changes. As men we need to collectively recognize this. We need to recognize also that our social state is the result of allowing women to set a social framework that indentures men, that calls single motherhood and Hypergamous choices normative ideals.

        We also need to recognize that we will be reviled for presuming some patriarchal control or male privilege, but we must have the confidence to set this aside in the knowledge that we now understand that women cannot cope with post-modern social and technological changes.

    2. Kind of like those old anti-drug commercials where the kids say “When I grow up I wanna be a junkie!”

      1. In reference to the “My dream for my daughter is to become a single mom” link. Johnny, have you ever thought about not nesting multiple links?

        1. Careful, JATNAS. He might think you’re negging him in an attempt to get him to sleep with you.

        2. They are a unit. Lots of people here nest comments.

    3. The comments are gold:

    4. I don’t see what’s so bad about that.
      Both parents get to fuck other people and share custody 50-50. Mom gets alone time, dad gets alone time.
      Kids get to spend time with both parents. Both parents get to spend time with the kids, equally. Both parents get to have a career. Seems like a mutually amiable and equitable solution.

      Somewhat less cost effective due to the need to operate tow households but presumably a second marriage would solve that problem. Obviously nobody should set out to marry someone just cause they would make a good dad, but it’s not like men haven’t been doing basically that for centuries. Marry one woman for money/kids/status, and then keep a mistress on the side. This would just be more formal.

      1. but it’s not like men haven’t been doing basically that for centuries. Marry one woman for money/kids/status, and then keep a mistress on the side.

        This would seem to be the reverse of that.

  14. Golfer Arnold Palmer dies at 87.

    Without taking anything away from his greatness, I’m always a little surprised when I check his career records and remember he won only 7 majors and won them all in a 6 year span.

    1. ONLY 7 majors?

      What is the list of players with that many?

      1. Answering my own question:
        Nicklaus 18
        Woods 14
        Hagen 11
        Hogan 9
        Player 9
        Watson 8
        Palmer 7
        Sarazen 7
        Jones 7
        Snead 7
        Vardon 7

        1. That total for Jones (and Nicklaus and Woods and etc) is wrong because it fails to include US and British amateur titles.

          Which were part of the original grand slam.

          1. Jones should be at 13. In a 7 year period, he won 4 US Opens, 3 British Opens, 5 US Amateurs, and 1 British Amateur.

            1. And retired (except for the Masters) at age 28.

              1. Tiger could’ve retired at that age and saved himself some grief. Don’t thing they’re going to name a drink after him now. What would go in a Tiger Woods?

                1. Finnish schnapps with an over-sized stirring stick.

      2. Yeah, I didn’t explain that well. Seven puts him up there with the greats. But growing up as a kid, it was always Arnold vs. Jack and I think I had a kind of assumption that they were fairly equal in terms of wins. That, and not winning one after 1964.

        1. Sorta like Sampras v. Agassi.

          People think Agassi has more titles than he actually has.

      3. Arnie is tied for seventh all-time with Gene Sarazen, Sam Snead, Bobby Jones, and Harry Vardon. Ahead of him are Tom Watson (8), Gary Player (9), Ben Hogan (9), Walter Hagen (11), Tiger (14) and Jack (18).

        Arnie’s fame and reputation are a bit outsized, yes, but that’s because a)he was enormously popular, likely the most popular player ever on tour and b)as you said, rather than having them spread out over a couple of decades, he had a 5-6 year period where he dominated the tour. That kind of dominance stands out in people’s minds.

    2. As you will no doubt hear, Arnold was the ‘people’s champion’ bringing golf to the average guy. And don’t forget that Nicklaus came on the scene and no one ever competed well against Jack, ESP in the majors.

      1. Watson and Trevino had their moments against Jack. Not that either was better than Nicklaus overall, of course.

    3. Yeah, statistically he doesn’t blow you away, but charismatically he was the Tiger Woods of his era.

      1. Charismatically Tiger was a 20 handicap to Arnie’s scratch.

        1. Yes, Tiger was, and is an asshole. Once his old man died he had no one to rein him in and it all blew up in his face.

    4. Palmer’s popularity outgrew his ability. Nicklaus could have been as beloved, but he was/is a dick.

      1. Completely wrong. Nicklaus is the most gracious person one could ever meet.

  15. Ethnic Chinese found in Roman burial ground in Britain.

    Diversity before it was cool.

    http://bbc.in/2dlTYu0

    1. Say what you will, but Han Dynasty take-out was to die for.

        1. My back-up joke was about the archeologist spilling his lunch.

          1. Lucius: Hey, Hadrian check this out!

            (Looks to Chinese duo)

            Lucius: Do it!

            Chinese duo: PAY ME NOW!

            Lucius laughs.

            Hadrian: Cut that shit out. The wall needs fixing.

          2. Really? You couldn’t come up with a joke about the laundry not doing itself?

    2. “Vikings” nailed it.

    3. Oops, not so fast…

      Analysis of the bones, found in a Roman burial place in Southwark, discovered that they dated to between the 2nd and 4th Century AD and were probably ethnically Chinese.

      It doesn’t say anything about DNA analysis, which implies that the determination was made by just looking at them.

      Had confirmed east asian skeletons been found in a pre-Roman burial site that would have been huge.

    4. Its almost like there was a trade route from the Pacific to the Atlantic overland.

      1. A road of some sort. Over which luxury goods might be traded. Textiles, perhaps.

        1. And low-mass, low-volume high dollar goods such as, spices. Crazy, I know.

    5. Insert Trump anti-immigration joke.

    6. Ancient Chinese Secret. Huh.

    7. The study hasn’t been peer reviewed yet?

  16. VIDEO: Pastor Starves Dog For Bible Lesson, Receives Praise From Followers
    In Selma, Alabama this week, “Pastor Perry” (David Perry, a former gang member and convict, now pastor of New Selmont Baptist Church) is featured in a new ministry video for which he spent two days specifically preparing his pit bull “Cowboy.” Shared publicly on Facebook, the pastor states, “The Bible says we have dominion over things?”

    …The Lesson? According to Perry, “Now if a dog can obey a man, surely? we should obey [God].” …

    1. “The Bible says…” often doesn’t finish well.

      1. It ends in a surprising number of venomous snakebites.

    2. Does God tell me not to eat?

  17. The French president says authorities will completely dismantle the migrant camp in Calais.

    And then settle the inhabitants, in their thousands, in small villages and towns across the land.

    1. There is something to be said for spreading them out. If the migrant population of some village is a single family then I suspect that will be a well-behaved migrant population.

      1. Until their loser son “radicalizes” and takes out a few dozen people at a gay nightclub.

      2. The immigration bureaucrats are more fond of cramming several thousand migrants into a population of several thousand natives. That’s how they spread them out.

    2. …in the Loire valley.

  18. “You will crush him. You will destroy him. You will make him a laughingstock,” Huma said into the mirror.

    “I will crush him. I will destroy him. I will make him a laughingstock,” Hillary said into the mirror. Huma ran the flat of hand along the black bristle of clitorii that had sprouted between Hillary’s shoulder blades. Hillary shivered with dark pleasure.

    1. “You will crush her,” the hat said into the mirror. “You will destroy her,” the hair said into the mirror. “You will make her a laughingstock,” they said in unison. Donald was holding them up, each perched on a different fist.

      “I will crush her. I will destroy her. I will make her a laughingstock,” Donald said. 300 milligrams of Viagra made his penis jut out of his elaborately coiffed public hair like an angry thumb.

    2. “Don’t be robotic, my love,” Huma whispered. “Be the warm and loving portal for the Elder Gods to corrupt this dimension that I know you to be.”

      “10 HASTUR,” Hillary said. “20 GOTO 10.”

      1. The sad thing is that the GOTO is the only thing I find really objectionable in your oeuvre.

        1. You one of those JMP people?

          1. Well, when I write assembler I try to use JNE exclusively, just for style points.

            But lately I’ve been writing stuff that has to be really fast, and one of the odd things about modern pipelined architectures is that branch mis-prediction is really expensive. So when it comes to branching, much like Bartleby, I would prefer not to.

    3. “Woo!” the hair screamed.

      “Debated done prepped, motherfuckers!” the hat screamed back.

      Donald basted them both with champagne.

        1. It’s fiendishly compelling, isn’t it?

          1. What do OMWC and a guitar player have in common?

            They both love fingering minors.

            1. Well done, but tardy.

      1. Ia! Ia! Cthullary ftaghn!

      2. Wait a minute. Hillary is a Lovecraftian beast or an android?

      3. “public hair”

        God, I hope not.

        1. Dammit. I’ve been making that mistake for a long time.

          I had one of those children’s visual dictionaries and the human anatomy graphic just had a blank area over the junk and it just said “pubic area.” But I didn’t know that word, so I thought it was the “public area.” It was a portentous mistake, it seems.

          1. That explains so, so much.

          2. Wow, almost the same thing happened to me, but I read it as “pubic arena.” I imagine in twenty years or so I’ll look back on that and laugh. That’s about when I’ll be getting out.

            1. Now I’m hearing the “Amok Time” music from Kirk and Spock fighting.

        2. They are public servants after all.

        3. I just assumed he meant his dick was jutting out from his head. You know, because SugarFree.

      4. If there is such a thing of when we need some Sugar free, it is today.

  19. THE CLINTON FOUNDATION’S PROBLEMS ARE DEEPER THAN YOU THINK
    …One major reason that the “pay-for-play” story has failed to stick, then, is that many people simply don’t see what the big deal is. Sure, Clinton may have collected Foundation donations from human rights violators across the planet. And sure, giving large donations to the Foundation may have made it easier to secure a meeting with a Clinton. But, it is said, since these were charitable donations to a foundation that does a lot of good work, what’s the harm?…

    …It’s hard to keep track of all the “commercial propositions” the Foundation is engaged in, because it operates in a highly unusual fashion. Ordinarily, charitable foundations make grants to outside organizations. But only 15% of the Clinton Foundation’s spending is on charitable grants. Instead, it spends most of its money on its in-house programs, whose efficacy can be far more difficult to track. The task is made even more difficult thanks to the Foundation’s ongoing allergy to transparency….

    1. …Indeed, certain Foundation expenditures have appeared unduly lavish, and difficult to justify. The Foundation spends $8 million in annual travel expenses (the Clintons fly on private jets), bought a first-class plane ticket to bring Natalie Portman (and her prized Yorkie) to an event, and funds a “glitzy annual gathering of chief executives, heads of state, and celebrities.” Some costs are outsourced to others, and universities that invite Bill Clinton to speak can find themselves hit with unexpected invoices for $1,400 hotel phone bills and $700 dinners-for-two….

      1. Natalie Portman. I read it because of those two words, and those two words alone.

        1. hot grits down my pants, naked and petrified

          1. Was that just a slashdot thing or was that used elsewhere on the internet?

            1. This was all a long time ago, so I could be wrong, but IIRC the hot grits thing started on slashdot. How petrified naked underage Natalie Portman got associated with that I dunno. I was never actually that much of a slashdotter.

              Some of my friends were though. A friend of mine who lived practically on the Brooklyn promenade learned about 9/11 from slashdot, and was proud of it. I was like- windows, motherfucker- do you look out them?

              1. I use to read slashdot way back in the day – there was always posts about NP and hot grits in just about every thread.

      2. $8 million in annual travel expenses (the Clintons fly on private jets), bought a first-class plane ticket to bring Natalie Portman (and her prized Yorkie

        Clinton paid for Natalie Portman to ride on Jeffrey Epstein’s Lolita Express?

    2. Instead, it spends most of its money on its in-house programs

      This is the crux of the argument. Gotta’ hand it to the Clintons, they sure know how to stymie an investigation with obfuscation.

      1. If Donald could figure out a way to explain how the Clintons fucked the Haitians, it could be Yuge.

        1. +1 damp cigar

        2. Fucked the donors. Mother Nature fucked the Haitians.

          1. That money was donated expressly to help the Haitians. When the Clintons stole it, they fucked the Haitians.

            1. True enuff. The Clintons fucked everybody and the Haitians got fucked twice.

          2. Mother Nature fucked the Haitians.

            History has fucked the Haitians, time and time again. Like, non-stop.

            1. Didn’t they just recently finish paying reparations to France for the crime of having stolen themselves?

  20. The Hillary Clinton campaign says it’s “unfair” for Clinton play “traffic cop” at tonight’s debate

    Cough, cough.

    1. She’s going with vice squad leader.

  21. “The Hillary Clinton campaign says it’s “unfair” for Clinton play “traffic cop” at tonight’s debate”

    This says so much.

    If people don’t believe you or think you’re a goddamn liar, Hillary, it isn’t because no one’s there to play traffic cop. Maybe Americans don’t believe you because you’re a goddamn liar.

    And would it really kill her to imagine for one second that voters are capable of thinking for themselves?

    Could she string three sentences about the American people together without being woefully condescending towards them?

    1. And would it really kill her to imagine for one second that voters are capable of thinking for themselves?

      This is the heart of statists, collectivists, socialists (but I repeat myself). Possibly because they themselves have no self-discipline and are always afraid of what social gaffes they might make in a moment of weakness, their core assumption of humanity is that everyone is incompetent at making decisions for themselves and must have their lives dictated by government. What is truly strange is that having such sorry beliefs in their own incompetence, they still think they are best suited to run other people’s lives, which tells you all you need to know about their opinion of others.

  22. Southern California police agencies regularly lose track of all manner of firearms, from high-powered rifles and grenade launchers to standard service handguns ? weapons that often wind up on the street.

    You don’t need guns because (1) gun control will work and (2) police professionalism will protect you.

    1. Most of them no doubt end up in cops closets.

  23. “The Hillary Clinton campaign says it’s “unfair” for Clinton play “traffic cop” at tonight’s debate”

    On a real basic level, I think she’s having problems processing the idea that instead of her judging the worthiness of the American people, we’re actually here to judge her.

    1. In a sense they’re right. In fact, Clinton should never be placed in any capacity that involves interpreting or enforcing the law.

  24. ‘A new Bloomberg polls finds Clinton and Donald Trump in a dead heat. Gary Johnson calls for space colonziation [sic].’

    And there we have it.

    Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
    Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
    Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
    Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

    The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
    Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
    Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
    For nothing now can ever come to any good.

    But nah, I imagine things will work out, one way or the other. They tend to.

  25. There are some pretty astute financial minds in the comments here. So maybe one of them could kindly explain to me how the fuck this isn’t a series of felonies and the biggest story of the election today and at least worthy of a few follow up questions during the debate.

    Seriously, Bernie Madoff wishes he had come up with this scam.

    1. Well, this is all a result of protecting that free speech crap you libertarians are always going on about.

      . . . which is also objectively racist and homophobic, I might add.

      1. “. . . which is also objectively racist and homophobic”

        Thanks for noticing. I do try.

    2. Too complicated for a 10 second soundbite, so it will be ignored.

    3. It’s not the biggest story because it’s not Trump.

    4. David Brock is to the Democrats in many ways what Breitbart and his organization is to the Right. Imagine if it came out Breitbart was really just a money laundering scheme. It would needless to say be the biggest story of the fall and every Republican in public life would be expected to explain what they knew and when they knew it. This, however, is just another “nothing to see here”.

      1. I don’t know. This will be hard to explain if anybody starts to question it in the mainstream press.

        And based on Brock’s willingness to go after anybody he thinks he can intimidate, I can’t imagine ZeroHedge not having all their ducks in a row before releasing this. This looks like a huge criminal money-laundering scheme, complete with gay blackmail. That’s the kind of shit gossips in the media love to glom onto.

        Hopefully it comes out.

        1. Maybe. IF it does, however, it will likely be after the election and only come out because Brock has so many enemies and is such an asshole.

        2. if anybody starts to question it in the mainstream press

          LOL!

      2. Andrew Breitbart was cool, but that entity is his name is hot garbage.

    5. What’s the letter next to the word “Clinton”?? A “D”?? Not a story.

    6. It’s an other phake skandol that haters have made up about Hillary.

      There is a basket of deplorables who do nothing than make up and circulate stories about phake skandols about America’s once and future First Family. Hillary alerted the nation to the existence of a vast, right-wing conspiracy that has been conspiring against my husband since the day he announced for president. David Brock was part of that conspiracy, but repented and has dedicated his career to making it right with the Clintons. You’re just criticizing this noble guardian for doing well while doing good.

      Seriously, sloopyinTEXAS, you already know how the fuck this isn’t a series of felonies and the biggest story of the election today.

      1. The only thing that is somewhat surprising in the media’s handling of the Brock story is that the MSM hasn’t been putting out stories praising Media Matters for its good work in keeping the media honest and putting Trump to the test.

  26. Obama’s Colossal Email Lie Final Test for Tarnished MSM
    …That Barack Obama communicated in 2012?under a redacted pseudonym?with Hillary Clinton on the then secretary of State’s permeable home-brew email server and then claimed he did not know of that server’s existence until it was reported in the press in 2014 is far more than the usual politician’s prevarication….

    …That we do know (as of this Friday’s dump) that one of Clinton’s own IT workers referred to her then just-announced 60-day email retention policy (who does that?) as “Hillary’s coverup operation” almost (but not completely) tells the story in those three quoted words. Even though they say it’s not the crime, but the coverup, in this case, it’s both….

    1. “Somebody in my office set up my address book because I was too busy running the free world to set my own up. I was unaware of the address I was replying to but trusted their judgement when they entered Hillary Clinton, the most qualified candidate ever for President, into it. This is a non-issue and the FBI has already cleared her of any wrongdoing. And frankly, I have bigger issues to worry about like how to stop her opponent’s Russian friends from hacking into more of our national security information.”

      -WH statement on e-mails dated September 27, 2016

      1. Addendum: “Furthermore, any other emails released that involve husseinsotero69@choomgangmail.com were sent as a prank by my staffers as the one released was the only time I ever used that address myself.”

      2. I expect better trolling from them:
        “What difference, at this point does it make?”

    2. Huh. Long suit, eh. I’d only ever heard strong suit.

    3. Obama’s Colossal Email Lie Final Test for Tarnished MSM

      What final test?

      They’re total wh0res and are called presstitutes for a reason.

      Just to rub salt into your we-are-a-nation-of-laws wound, I heard someone pining for a 3rd Obama term on Friday.

    4. 60-day email retention policy (who does that?)

      We do that at Legal’s insistence. Anything to be held for longer than that has to be explicitly marked for archiving and held in a separate system.

    5. with Hillary Clinton on the then secretary of State’s permeable home-brew email servers

      Apparently, there were 3 of them? the first was OS X Server, the second was Windows Server (unknown version) built by Bryan Pagliani, and the third was Windows SBS 2011 built by Platte River Networks.

  27. The Hillary Clinton campaign says it’s “unfair” for Clinton play “traffic cop” at tonight’s debate.

    It’s a DEBATE, you raging cunt. It means you DEBATE each other. One of you says something. You disagree and respond with a supporting argument. There is no “playing traffic cop”. And I believe she should be the last person to want “moderators” to fact-check the candidates (as if that is something moderators should be doing anyhow…). What is “self-awareness”?

    1. “Raging Cunt”

      Spinal Tap’s 4th album IIRC.

      1. “Well, it’s just filled with rage, innit?”

    2. She is cliterally a raging cunt.

  28. Hey, sloopy, what’s the local news on this?

    A vehicle on Law Street was surrounded by police and ABC reports a bomb squad has been called in. There are unconfirmed reports that a suspected shooter is down after several people were presumed shot in southwest Houston.

    Crazy-crazy, or political crazy?

    1. Nobody knows yet. It looks like they’re all on lockdown in that area. And the cops haven’t even made a statement as to the shooter’s ID or motive.

      And Banjos just started working in the Post Oak area three miles away from there a couple weeks ago. But they’re ok in their office.

      1. Maybe a deputy was meeting his girlfriend at a gas station while on duty and just happened to get shot by a random cop hater*.

        *No really, this happened. And then at least one investigator slept with the woman while investigating the case.

        1. So the woman really really likes cops.

    2. I wonder if it was another one of those Turkish Hispanics?

      1. local news story.

        Looks like the suspect was armed to the teeth in his car and was serious about his rampage. Black male is the only description they give, which pretty much rules out it being involved with Rice University next door. Sounds to me like he wanted to go on a killing spree and was just a lousy shot.

        1. What’s a “strip center”? Is that what everyone else calls a “strip mall” (pessimist) or is it something …. else …(optimist)?

          1. Usually a strip mall, unless its the XTC strip-club/adult-store/masage parlor adult supercenter at I45 and Airline. I think you could call that a strip center.

            1. The owner of that place’s daughter lives by the 17th green at my country club.

        2. Sounds to me like he wanted to go on a killing spree and was just a lousy shot.

          Because he had to hold the gun sideways.

    3. Southwest Houston is thug city for years now after thousands of Katrina evacuees were resettled there by Democrat officials running the city.

      Localized areas are so bad they are no go zones at night especially.

      Most likely just gang bangers.

      1. Really? Name some no-go zones.

        1. Hillary’s crotch.

        2. Soutwest Houston at night for white people.

          1. That’s funny. I was down there several times at night. You’ll have to be more specific. Med center? Further West? Just heard from a buddy who literally pulled out of his apartment complex, went two blocks and ran into the cops barricading off Bissonet at 6:45 this morning. Want to guess what color he is?

  29. “Gary Johnson calls for space colonziation.”

    Now Gar, only TRUMP gets free media attention by saying crazy things!!

    1. He got this wrong, too. Space colonization does not mean inhabiting other planets.
      Why claw your way out of one gravity well just to throw yourself down another? Everything needed to thrive can be found without going near a planet. Planetary colonies are a boondoggle. L5 or GTFO.

      1. Whatever you say, Hugo Drax.

  30. “The Hillary Clinton campaign says it’s “unfair” for Clinton play “traffic cop” at tonight’s debate”

    It’s so hard when there aren’t any progressive journalists around to tell people who’s right and who’s wrong.

    I swear. All The Donald has to do is not come across as mean and obnoxious.

    Hillary can’t resist the urge to look down her nose at average working people. Condescension isn’t something you accuse Hillary of. It’s the essence of her being.

    She’s the goddess of looking down on people . . . and corruption.

    1. I remember watching the (in)famous Bush-Gore debate with some friends. All my friends are partisan Democrats, while I’m more from the “a pox on both your houses” school. They thought Gore won the debate. I knew he’d lost it, badly.

      The demographics of the US are different now than they were in 2000, but I think the Dems still run the risk of pissing off enough people that they could lose this. The smart money is still on Hillary, but… she’s not likable, to put it mildly. She’s been trying to adopt a more aggressive tone lately, but it comes off as strident and forced, where Trump’s obnoxiousness at least has the virtue of authenticity. I won;t be entirely surprised if this debate is not good for Clinton.

    2. I remember watching the (in)famous Bush-Gore debate with some friends. All my friends are partisan Democrats, while I’m more from the “a pox on both your houses” school. They thought Gore won the debate. I knew he’d lost it, badly.

      The demographics of the US are different now than they were in 2000, but I think the Dems still run the risk of pissing off enough people that they could lose this. The smart money is still on Hillary, but… she’s not likable, to put it mildly. She’s been trying to adopt a more aggressive tone lately, but it comes off as strident and forced, where Trump’s obnoxiousness at least has the virtue of authenticity. I won;t be entirely surprised if this debate is not good for Clinton.

  31. Caption Contest. Don’t let us lose to the zerohedgers.

    1. That is really funny.

      This selfie shit is out of control.

      Why do people want their own damn face in every picture they take? Are they afraid people won’t believe that they saw the Eiffel tower or stood somewhere in the vicinity of Hillary Clinton?

      1. Attention whores

        1. “It is a curiously grotesque image. While a tightly packed crowd all took selfies with the Democratic party’s US presidential candidate, a sly photographer slipped around the side.”

          The text is barf worthy, but the mass selfie photodoes say something about what we’ve become

          1. In their defense, young people are pretty stupid and easily manipulated.

          2. Every single photographer in that crowd may be a PhD in political theory who is taking a selfie ironically to send to fellow faculty members at Princeton.

            I’ll take the Under on that. Even if that were true, it wouldn’t make it any better.

            1. If that’s true, it says a lot more about modern universities than anything else.

    2. “Me and my class on a field trip to Madame Tussaud’s. So lifelike, LOL!!!”

        1. Wow. Replace the dull grey communist color and replace it with zesty blue, and you still get the same authority fellation.

    3. “Weird. I keep throwing balls but I still haven’t captured this fat Pokemon.”

    1. Her face is horsey, but I still would.

    2. The original Facebook post was taken down, but parents continued to share their opinions.

      “There’s no reason for her to pass judgement on those kids on a social platform,” one parent told McLogan.

      “I’m not big on social media, but I think that in the classroom they need to show both sides.” another said.

      You mean they need to recognize all forms of political speech if they’re going to allow any.

      Welsh remains employed by the school, but has been administratively reassigned. The superintendent said the appropriate disciplinary action is being taken, but did not specify what that means.

      A nice vacation on the taxpayer dime followed up by a wink and a reassignment to a more “enlightened” school.

      1. “You mean they need to recognize all forms of political speech if they’re going to allow any.”

        Something tells me they’re going to simply “not allow any” before they cede the right to wrongthink.

    3. world language

      Esperanto?

      1. Or some language that twins teach each other.

      2. I think it’s to distinguish her from the extraterrestrial language teacher.

  32. “The French president says authorities will completely dismantle the migrant camp in Calais.”

    That’s sure to fix the problem.

    Well, that and the burkini ban.

    1. It depends on how they dismantle the camp. They never said they were removing the migrants first…

      1. You know who else resettled people from camps?

        1. Andrew Jackson?

        2. Harry Truman

  33. What does “not playing traffic cop” even mean besides “it is not my job to debate Trump, that is the moderator’s job”?

    1. Remember when the moderator started arguing with Mitt Romney last election?

      That moderator was “playing traffic cop”.

    2. Battlefield preparation. “Hillary wasn’t allowed to talk, Trump talked out of turn. Sexism. Moderators didn’t do their job.”

      1. Yes. The fear is that Hillary is going to look old and feeble and Trump is going to look like the alpha male in the room. So the spin is going to be to play the pussy card and talk about how vicous and rude Trump was and how poor Hillary was unfairly denied her chance.

        How Hillary can be expected to lead the country and deal with people like Putin and Kim when the poor dear can’t even stand up and hold her own against a reality TV star is a question that will of course not be asked.

        1. A repeat of the Lazio debate. Worked for her then.

          1. That and a repeat of the spin about Trump’s convention speech. Remember how every single story about it began with a sentence about how “angry” he was? I spin didn’t work on Trump’s convention speech. He got a significant bounce out of it. People believed their lying eyes and ears over the media spin. I doubt they will be able to spin the debate any more successfully. Who knows what will happen, but it if it goes bad for Hillary, no amount of spin is going to help her. One thing you can say is that the more outraged and determined they are to spin it as a good night for Hillary and bad night for Trump, the more likely that Trump actually did well.

            1. You know they all already have their stories written and ready to go about how Hillary “schooled” Trump during the debate. I am making my prediction now. (Not about the actual outcome, just the media spin.)

              1. They totally do. The problem is that Hillary, by being such a corrupt and lousy candidate, has forced them to be so obvious that everyone knows what they are going to say. So, it is unlikely to have much effect.

            2. His convention speech was dark, very very dark.

              It must have been true because that description of it spewed forth from the mouths of media as though they all got the description from the same source.

        2. How Hillary can be expected to lead the country and deal with people like Putin and Kim when the poor dear can’t even stand up and hold her own against a reality TV star is a question that will of course not be asked.

          Legitimate point, but the same could be said about Trump’s childish reaction to Megyn Kelly’s questions in the GOP debates.

          1. I didn’t think his reaction was childish at all. I thought he was right. Kelly was trying to make the debate about her and her pet issues and Trump was right to call her out on it. You and a lot of others disagree but a lot of other people see it my way. Kelly just got butt hurt because she finally ran into a situation where she was with someone who was just as big of a narcissist as she is and her looks couldn’t get her through.

            1. And what do you think Putin, Xi Jinping, and KJI are going to do in their discussions with POTUS?

              Have you ever been in a high-stakes negotiation before? Unfair questions get asked, mean statements get made, all for the purpose of manipulating you into cracking. And Trump cracked big time in that debate, then cried and took his ball home for the next one.

              1. Have you ever been in a high-stakes negotiation before?

                I’m pretty sure Trump has. And he seems to be rather successful.

          2. “Tell us about your deep seeded hatred of women and the war you plan to wage against them.”, though paraphrased just a tad, could hardly be described as a worthwhile question to answer. Megyn Kelly grabbed the least credible Democratic talking point in the arsenal and just ran with it.

            1. Yup, she was basically just promoting the Democrat’s phony “war on women” talking point. It was pretty shameful.

          3. Before Ace fell in line for Trump he made a point about how frustrating the guy can be. The left is constantly on a warpath, and then there’s this asshole holding up Megyn Kelly’s scalp and asking Republicans to be proud of him for it. Thanks, Donald. That’s great.

      2. One thing I think the moderators ought to do more of is to tell people to shut the fuck up when they are speaking out of turn.

        1. I think the opposite. I think the moderators ought to shut up and let them go at it. There needs to be a direct back and forth. If you don’t let people speak out of turn to some degree, it ends up being the two of them talking past each other and just giving set talking points and not really engaging.

          If it were up to me, I would barely even have a moderator. Let them talk it out among themselves.

          1. Then the biggest and most uncooth bigmouth wins. Remember the VP debate last time, where Biden was laughing the entire time Ryan was speaking?

            Mic should cut out when time runs out. That should be the rule.

            1. Mic should cut out when time runs out. That should be the rule

              Boy I like that. You’d look stupid as hell getting cut off, which would be great incentive not to pad your answers with cruff like “It’s an honor to appear here tonight”, “We need to worry about Main Street, not Wall Street”, “Restoring our middle class and bring hope to working families”. I would make a great effort not to get cut off.

            2. Alternate option: Both candidates get a fixed amount of time and can use it on anything they want at any time. Once one’s out of time, the other can go on an uninterrupted diatribe and say anything they want with no chance for their opponent to respond.

              Makes filler a liability instead of a positive, flows better than restricting every answer, and allows us to evaluate their strategic chops in real time.

              1. Plus, then no one person can complain they didn’t have as much time to speak.

              2. Alternate option: Both candidates get a fixed amount of time and can use it on anything they want at any time. Once one’s out of time, the other can go on an uninterrupted diatribe and say anything they want with no chance for their opponent to respond.

                I’ve thought that something like this would be a good way to go. Give each candidate clocks that are attached to their mics, make it so only one mic/clock can be active at a time, and then just let them switch on when they want to talk and switch off when they are done. If time runs out, their mic goes off. My preferred method would be to give each candidate something like 8 minutes on their clock and have it set up so that when they are speaking their time runs down and a commensurate amount of time is added to their opponents clock, allowing for a good back and forth and equal time. You could even do away with a moderator entirely.

          2. Well, if they are going to have rules, they should enforce them.

            Though I do agree that it might just be better to let the candidates go at it than have it tightly controlled by a moderator.

        2. Yep, that’s the only traffic copping that is appropriate.

        3. Or they could have Nick Gillespie moderate the debate, then he can just throw old vegetables at Trump while he curses at him. Then act surprised and bitter that the audience found his moderating skills lacking.

          1. It. was. that. bad. Wasn’t it?

        4. I’d prefer that the debates be held in a WWE ring or a MMA octagon. Better yet, a Mad Max Thunderdome.

    1. I believe he broke the story first because he realized that whoever had the drone would probably try to sell the footage and it’s easier to reduce reputational damage by putting his side out first.

      1. “So there I was, wearing only my Mossberg 12-gauge and a feral snarl of defiance…”

        1. “Unfortunately, the drone was 20 feet away, so I couldn’t quite knock it down just by swinging my dick.”

    2. I see a business opportunity in making specialized shotgun shells for shooting down drones that would be minimally dangerous to nearby people and property.

      1. Its called “bird shot”. Remember how Dick Cheney shot that lawyer with it and the lawyer lived to apologize?

        1. “lived to apologize”. Awesome.

        2. Wasn’t that a single-pellet ricochet?

          Bird shot probably won’t kill but will disfigure and severely damage external organs.

          1. External organs like skin? I heard several stories of people taking bird shot at moderate range and being angry, not disfigured. I’m sure you could lose an eye up close, but its so light there’s almost no chance of it harming anyone once it slows to terminal velocity.

            1. Did they actually take a shot or did it drop down on them. I had the latter happen to me a couple times while dove hunting at the beginning of the month. Fuck, Californians are worse shooters than I am.

          2. Up close it is devastating. Further out…well just imagine taking a single #6 shot through one testicle or in the eye. Birdshot is more dangerous than most people think.

            At 200+ feet #6 and up won’t do much and #4 and up won’t do much falling out of the sky but I will pass on being the test dummy.

            1. This is why I always wear shatterproof glasses and a cup while bird hunting.

        3. Yeah, but I can’t make any money selling bird shot.

          Or I guess you could just re-label it. Sort of like that stupid zombie killing ammo you see sometimes.

  34. “Unfair for Hillary to play traffic cop”?

    That implies she is qualified to play traffic cop which she is not.

    She is no authority on what “the facts” are nor are most of the so-called “fact checking” outfits created by various left leaning organizations who have attempted to set themselves up as the arbiters of reality.

    1. She will have fact checking minions off-stage whispering into her earpiece.

  35. “Golfer Arnold Palmer dies at 87.”

    For those of you who don’t know, by the way, an “Elton John” is half iced tea and half fruit punch.

    1. An Arnold Palmer actually isn’t half and half. Arnie used a 3:1 tea to lemonade ratio.

    2. ROFL, Ken.

      An “Uncivil Servant” is one-half room temperature tap water, one-half room temperature tap water.

      An “Old Man With Candy” is chocolate milk with a slowly dissolving tablet at the bottom of the sippy cup.

      I don’t want to know what kind of drink a “Crusty Juggler” is

      1. Crusty Juggler: shot of grenadine, cock ring floater.

        1. (((Renegade)))- three parts vodka to one part Manischewitz.

          It’s my house specialty.

          1. Citizen X: just drink whatever alcohol’s around until you forget who’s on the penny.

      2. The SugarFree: 16oz Sugarfree Rockstar, 15 mg cold water extracted hydrocodone, 2 oz pure grain alcohol. serve over ice.

        1. What is cold water extracted hydrocodone ?

          What is the difference ?

          1. It allows you to filter out the Tylenol. Crush Vicodin into a fine powder, mix with very cold water, stir and filter. The hydro dissolves into the water and the Tylenol stays in the filter.

            1. It’s primarily a way to be able to take a lot of hydrocodone without killing your liver, but the liquid can be mixed with other things or just sipped from a small flask all day. It also seems to help with the nausea a lot of people report when taking Vicodin.

            2. Fuck I want to try this. But this is also coming from the dude who boiled up his weed one Halloween in a failed attempt to make cannabutter.

  36. The Hillary Clinton campaign says it’s “unfair” for Clinton play “traffic cop” at tonight’s debate

    She can blow my safety whistle anytime.

    1. Oh my god

      1. Someone has to class it up around here.

        1. Let me know if you figure out who.

    2. I saw the last night after the thread died on the subjects of 60s babes, you mentioned “any woman in Grand Prix”. I wasn’t around to agree with that so I will do so now. Eva Marie Saint was in her 40s when she made that movie and was still smoking hot. And Jessica Walter, while kind of forgotten, had an amazing set of legs. The women in that movie were more than worthy.

      1. Jessica Walter is not forgotten. In fact, she is still active, starring in both Arrested Development and Archer.

        1. She’ll be best remembered for her roles in AD and Archer.

      2. ’60s babes? Jacqueline Bisset. End of discussion.

    3. Hey can u email me it collection of Hillary porn?

      1. Fucking spell check. Your collection…….

  37. “I felt a great disturbance, as if millions of women suddenly sighed out and clicked….”

  38. I’ve started seeing rumors that the cops in Danville, VA, are raising their car hoods whenever they do a traffic stop in order to block the dashcam. Awaiting confirmation on this…

    1. Fuckin’ Danville, man. Jesus.

      1. Who goes to Danville anyway?

        1. People from South Boston who want to shop at a place that is not a gas station, and Jefferson Davis.

        2. Hey, I graduated from Averett.

          I’ve never been back once since.

        3. I’ve driven through a couple of times on the way to/from Charlotte (29S). I’ll make sure to drive the speed limit there in the future.

        4. 3-Gun shooters and auto racing enthusiasts.

    2. Well, Danville IS a middle of nowhere shithole…..

    3. Good reason to keep a jug of water in the car.

  39. I’ve started seeing rumors that the cops in Danville, VA, are raising their car hoods whenever they do a traffic stop in order to block the dashcam.

    That seems awfully obvious (but maybe that’s the point), when they could just “accidentally” toss a hat or clipboard onto the dash in such a way as to block the cam.

    1. It is not just obvious it is amazingly stupid. If it is ever the case that they have to shoot someone, the only thing that is going to save them is that dashcam footage. In this environment there is going to be tremendous political pressure to assume they acted wrongly. The only hope they have of fighting that is to both have acted correctly and have the dashcam footage to prove it.

      If they really are doing that, cops are dumber than even the people on here think they are.

    2. The body cams seem perfectly positioned for the cop’s head to block them when he’s pointing a gun at someone.

  40. For a moment I thought the debates were yesterday and I had missed them. Because, of course no one would be stupid enough to bitch about a debate not being fair before the debate even happened. Right?? Right??

    1. I just saw the bobble heads on FOX and the pro-Cankles one was saying that even if Trump wins tonight and Cankles looks bad Trump still isnt qualified to be president. There is another one now doing the ‘unqualified and dangerous’ speal.

      They know she is going to lose.

  41. Another mall shooting, this time in Houston. Seven wounded by shooter, shooter shot by cops.

    Any guesses y’all?

    1. I asked our local correspondent sloopy upthread. He says no local news on it yet. Flip a coin between crazy and radicalized. Early reports are that the shooter was very dark-skinned, so could be a guy hating whitey or a guy just flipped out.

    2. They hate the malls! Stay away from the malls!

        1. The malls are deplorable!

    3. Please don’t drag that bait in front of us.

      In recent days, it’s been embarrassing to see the half-assed conjecturing going on in this forum by my beloved commentariate.

      1. In recent days, it’s been embarrassing to see the half-assed conjecturing going on in this forum by my beloved commentariate.

        *squints*

        You sure you’ve been around here. HyR is 42.76% half-assed conjecturing! Throw in some SugarFree writings, snark and STEVE SMITH jokes, and you have to be at 80% at least.

      2. I am withholding opinion until more info comes to light.

      3. Like Micheal Hinh furiously insisting that the Baton Rouge shooter was not targeting cops?

    4. We won’t know for sure until we find out the facts. But, it being a Muslim is a pretty good bet.

      1. All such perpetrators will be referred to as Hispanic until proven otherwise.

        1. I’m willing to blame it on the Latinx. Not latinos, anyone who ‘identifies’ as Latinx.

    5. My guess is it was an intentional act.

  42. If Hillary loses, do you think she then lets loose on obama? Because after this she has to be done and would have been denied the presidency. Pretty clear this is all she covets.

    Reason i say is her best chance to win was in 2008 (and i think she would have been a shoe in due to Bush, and McCain being opponent) which obviously obama captured the nomination barely and then proceeded to win with ease.

    1. Unlikely. Remember that Chelsea will need the goodwill of the party establishment.

      1. See i don’t know. She clearly feels entitled to it….i think she is on tilt now. The up 50 point comment, deplorables etc

        1. To see Hitlerclit lose the Presidency twice is too delicious for words.

  43. Gary Johnson calls for space colonziation.

    Thanks for making me feel good about not voting this election, GJ. Jesu Cristo.

    1. I was gonna ask if you wanted to invest in my space elevator company, but never mind. Your loss.

    2. While govt-funded colonization is pretty anti-libertarian, it may serve as our best hope for preserving humanity and building a libertarian civilization. Collectivists do not do well in frontier situations.

      1. He didn’t say that it would be government funded.

  44. Curfew Lifted In Charlotte After Several Days Of Peaceful Protests

    The city of Charlotte has lifted a midnight curfew, as protests over the weekend continued to be mostly peaceful.

    Demonstrators have taken to the streets for nearly a week, after police shot and killed Keith Lamont Scott on Tuesday. Police say Scott had a gun; his family says he was unarmed.

    The first two nights of unrest resulted in property damage, injuries and a temporary interstate shutdown. One protester was shot Wednesday night and later died; a civilian has been arrested in connection to that shooting.

    After those two nights of violence, the governor of North Carolina declared a state of emergency and the city imposed a curfew. But on the first night of the curfew protests were largely calm and orderly, and police allowed demonstrators to remain on the street after midnight.

    Protests continued nightly, with many demonstrators calling for Charlotte police to release video footage of the shooting. A video taken by Scott’s wife, which did not directly show the shooting, had been made public by Scott’s family on Friday.

    So there were mostly peaceful protests in Charlotte. This is news.

      1. Normally I’d say “you can’t make this shit up”, but obviously it can be done.

    1. Surely the number of peaceful protestors was far greater than the number of window smashers and looters.

  45. My new neighborhood had its annual block party, and it turned into a welcome session for us the newbies.

    I met the people living in the two houses with the big Trump signs. Very nice people. Very much Reagan Democrats. They wanted me and my wife to sign a petition. It seems a local Arab restaurateur is being driven into bankruptcy by dicks in the town government holding hostage his license to pour alcohol. The restaurateur has done everything the town asked, and if he isn’t allowed to sell license to sell liquor in closed bottles to the local supermarket he’s going to go belly up (he can’t both have a liquor license and a pour license at the same facility).

    The Trump supporters were collecting signatures to pressure the town into letting the guy sell his liquor license so that he can start serving alcohol in his restaurant. Because “this is America, and you don’t drive businessmen out of town because you don’t like their customers”.

    Naturally, the Trump supporters are the deplorable racists and the progressives in the town council who ultimately are trying to prevent the working poor on the south-western side of town from being able to buy alcohol at the local supermarket are the educated, inclusive guys.

    1. I live in a Bernie-supporters-infested neighborhood. The more I get to know them, the more I realize how intolerant and prone to use of force they are.

      A long time ago, I was the only non-Christian (atheist) living in a religious conservative Christian neighborhood. Other than the occasional missionary door knock, I wasn’t bothered one bit. And the missionaries were polite and would leave the moment I told them I wasn’t interested.

      1. If I am bored I always invite them in for coffee and do some chit-chat to get to k now them, carefully navigating around the subject of religion. If they are collecting money for some kid with cancer I always give something. When they ask me if they can expect me to attend their church I always say I will consider it, thank them and they are on their way.

        I don’t see any reason to be ugly to people who mean well. As you said, they are mostly harmless.

      2. Yeah, I’ve known Bernie since I was 12 or so- not all that well, and I doubt he;d even remember me, but close family friends were in his inner circle. Vermont is a small state, and Burlington is a small city. I was raised in the bosom of Vermont progressive politics, and it took me a while to shake it off. I was even vaguely associated with Murray Bookchin’s little youth cadre for a while.

        The thing is- I realized after a while that there were really ugly undertones to all of that. In the end it seemed to me that the progressives I knew were buying virtue at other people’s expense, and profiting thereby. I live in Amherst Mass now, and it’s the same story. There are “Black Lives Matter” signs on all my neighbor’s lawns, and on all the local churches, but my neighbors are about as white-bread cracker motherfuckers as I’ve ever met, and they make sure the town is zoned so that they’ll never have to actually live near many black people, let alone any poor black people. smdh. I’m kind of triggered by it.

        1. O/T: Is your name/ID a reference to Rabindranath Tagore?

          1. It is my actual first name, and I was named after Rabindranath Tagore. My family was in India for a few generations- actually my great-great-great grandfather (who is also my great-great-great-great grandfather) was briefly governor of a large part of India. My family was mainly artillery officers at Madras, where my great-grandmother was born before emigrating to Canada, and then the US.

            Why my Mom chose to name me that… smdh. It was the early 70s, she was on drugs, etc. At the time there were not a lot of Indians in the US. By the time I studied computer science at Uni all my TAs were from India. I know they were shaking their heads. The thing is I’ve had that name my whole life, and it’s a little late to give it up now, cultural appropriation be damned.

            1. That’s some really impressive history, man. What are the odds of running into someone at H&R whose ancestors worked for the British Indian Raj. 😉

              If it makes you feel better, Tagore’s poetry is awesome. I wish I knew Bengali to read his vernacular works without the translation loss.

        2. It’s really cool that you managed to shake it off.

          I was immersed in socialist propaganda in school growing up in India. My school textbooks extolled the virtues of a “mixed” economy as a decent middle ground between capitalism and communism. Never mind that India was a socialist morass.

          My Dad worked extra hard to correct the “education” I was getting at school.

          1. My school textbooks extolled the virtues of a “mixed” economy as a decent middle ground between capitalism and communism.

            You know who else extolled their economic ideas as a decent middle ground between capitalism and communism?

        3. Dang any juicy stories about the bern?

          1. Honestly all the juicy shit about Bernie is already out there. I did go to Burlington college when I was 15 or so, and it is true that his wife drove that school into the ground, and I do know a lot of the faculty there still (though we’re not on speaking terms because of recent Facebook arguments,) but…

            Now, I do know _scandalously_ juicy shit about Howard Dean (whose wife was my mother’s gynecologist, IIRC, lol,) and I had to really restrain myself when he was an actual contender. But I will continue to restrain myself- I’ll hint at things, as far as I have here, but I’ll never actually tell ;). I figure that’s very innocuous because I could so easily be making it up, etc.

          2. On the other hand… here’s what _I_ think is juicy. Burlington was a very livable little city until the progs took it over. Unfortunately my closest family friends had a hand in changing that. We came from Montana, and Quebec, and Jersey, and we changed the character of the state forever. One of the big changes we instituted was “smart growth.” The Progressive-English dictionary (I really should write that sometime) defines “smart growth” as “I’ve got mine, so fuck you. Also, environmentalism.”

            Burlington now? Almost as expensive as Brooklyn, ffs. Fucking progs.

            1. The progs in my town are doing the same thing — “smart growth” is all the rage and it’s driving up property values quite a bit. They bitch about any and all new developments. A new hotel? “Redundant!” New apartment building? “Monstrosity!”

              I hate them all and can’t wait to sell my house and move out.

              1. Yeah, the hypocrisy is so rank. I’ll forgive some hypocrisy, ’cause I think it’s hard to avoid. But let’s be honest- the big thing that hurts the poor is the ridiculous cost of housing in areas that offer economic opportunity. I was poor when I was a kid, for a long time, actually. But at least I could pay my rent. As a wise man once said “The rent is too damned high!”

                It is too damned high. Regulation and proggy self-dealing are the culprits. Those family friends of mine I mentioned sat on the Burlington planning board, blocked all new construction, and got rich as the their houses got more valuable. They also ran a “non-profit” devoted to alternative energy that eventually employed more than 100 people. And they got richer.

                Nice people, mind you- I’ve known them since I was a child, and love them. But srsly….

        4. I always thought it was a little funny how quick northerners are to declare everyone in the south racist. Seems to be some projection mixed in with a deliberate distraction from how racist and segregated many northern cities are.

          1. Southerners are more open about their racism. When I lived down there for a few years I was shocked at how open it was sometimes. In the northeast it’s hidden. You agitate on behalf of “Black Lives Matter” while making sure your kids will never go to school with more than a couple of black kids, and only the right couple of black kids. This has downsides- you can strain your arm patting yourself on the back.

          2. There were a lot of sundown towns in the north (check out some Northern states in James Loewen’s sundown towns database) and even the state of Oregon was an entire sundown state but progressives like to deny that ever happened and concentrate on the South.

    2. Good rule of thumb…

      Those who have to say they are tolerant, loving, inclusive and accuse others of intolerance, hate etc….are actually full of intolerance and hate.

      The others are the ones that are actually tolerant, loving and inclusive.

      If you have to say you are something, you probably aren’t. Accusations without evidence is merely projection

      1. Kind of like the US really was exceptional until people started chanting “We’re #1” and babbling about being the “exceptional nation.”

  46. Is Reason going to give us a drinking game for the debates tonight? One is badly needed.

      1. ^THIS.

        Start drinking tonight, and keep drinking until November 8 or whenever the f*** this “election” is.

        1. It’s going to be light, casual, festive drinking until November. The heavy drinking starts after the election.

          1. The heavy drinking starts after the election.

            I’ll change my consumption habits from alcohol to ammo after the election. 😉

    1. I am not watching. I didn’t watch any of the debates in 2012 either.

      I am hoping that Hillary passes out during the debate in front of 20 million viewers and is dragged out like she was at the 9/11 memorial event. Not that I want Trump, but leftists need to learn the danger of Obama’s imperious pen-and-phone approach once Trump has the power.

      1. Better yet, they prop her up at the podium and put sun glasses on her and act like nothing is amiss while she’s obviously unconscious. Then NBC, ABC, CBS and CNN ridicules anyone who doesn’t pretend to have not noticed.

      2. “…leftists need to learn…”

        Agreed, but they cant. They are sticking their heads in the sand now over Venezuela. When the next socialist dictatorship pops up they will start fanatically cheering it on.

        1. Well Venezuela is an anomaly. You see, something something, Top. Men.

          1. #nottruesocialism

            1. “The Soviet Union was a state capitalist system.”

          2. Low oil prices. If the CIA hadn’t assassinated Hugo. If US NGO’s weren’t supporting Maduro’s opposition. If the US and Wall Street capitalists weren’t sabotaging the Ven economy. Low oil prices.

            1. Lol.

              I like how socialist Cuba would not be crappy if the horrible capitalist US had traded with them. The cognitive dissonance is astounding.

              1. They’ve had a lot of bad luck man. Like the Ukraine.

    2. I normally don’t watch the debates…

      But this one seems like it has potential to be humorous so…

      If it’s as good as I’m hoping, I’ll watch ’em all and laugh. If not, I won’t bother with the rest.

  47. I am hoping that Hillary passes out during the debate in front of 20 million viewers and is dragged out like she was at the 9/11 memorial event.

    Just imagine if the public’s final glimpse of Hillary were her fingertips, vainly clutching at the podium for support as she slowly sank from view.

    1. I’m imagining Hitlerclit drops like a stone, catches the podium right under her chin, and her mouth slams shut with so much force, her false teeth shatter and spray into the moderators’ faces.
      Granted, I’m no SugarFree, but it’s my fantasy.

  48. Speaking of podiums, how come Hildog gets an elevated one so that the low information dopes can’t tell that Trump is almost a foot taller than she is?

    Seems like a bunch of bullcrap to me, personally. Why not just raise the fucking thing even higher to make her look like the world’s tallest woman?

    1. Elections should not be predicated on the relative heights of the candidates. That’s a job for meretricious, conniving moderators.

      1. The debate commission shouldn’t be playing a role in helping her create a phony, dishonest image. She can do that herself through her own paid commercial advertising.

        The country deserves to see her as the frail, sick, old, midget Snukeapotamus that she is. One platform and podium for one candidate and a completely different platform and podium for another candidate is dishonest bullcrap.

      2. relative heights of the candidates.

        What are the odds that Trump will pull out a ruler to measure his dick size? (Remember the dick size talk at one of the GOP primary debates?)

        1. It can’t be longer than her clit, which is of course, YUGE.

    2. Trump should just wear foot-tall platform shoes to balance it out.

  49. I do know _scandalously_ juicy shit about Howard Dean

    There was a brief period (like when he said GWB was running the country on the “Argentine model”) when I thought Dean sounded like not-an-idiot. That passed, and not in any way because of the screech.

    1. He used to come yell at us for being too loud at my friend’s apartment.

      1. This would have been around ’90 or so,

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