Brickbat: Ewwwww


Dunville Secondary School

An Ontario high school teacher is under investigation after allegedly telling a student to "lick me where I fart." Jennifer Elizabeth Green-Johnson reportedly has a history of disciplinary actions taken against her by the local school system and the provincial teacher licensing body, including a 30-day suspension in January. According to press reports, she slapped one student on the head and told him to grow some balls, called another a "bloody pedophile" and called various other students stupid, gay, idiots and a bitch.

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  1. According to press reports, she slapped one student on the head and told him to grow some balls, called another a “bloody pedophile” and called various other students stupid, gay, idiots and a bitch.

    Did anybody investigate to find out if the students in question did in fact need to grow some balls and were a pedophile, stupid, gay, idiots, and a bitch?

    1. I assume most children are pedophiles in the broadest definition.

    2. Oh, she’s very unpopular. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads – they all despise her. They think she’s an unrighteous dude.

      1. Um, she’s sick. My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Jennifer pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.

        1. I heard that you were feeling ill. Headache, fever, and a chill. I came to help restore your pluck, cause I’m the nurse who likes to…

      2. but she speak truth to power

      3. but she speak truth to power

  2. Demanding a rim job from a student isn’t grounds for termination?

    1. No. She wasn’t wearing a sombrero so it’s cool, bro.

      1. It’s good I am not a teacher. The rules are too complex.

    2. Demanding a rim job from a student isn’t grounds for termination?

      Hey, I kept MY job.

  3. Forget Gary. I demand her on the debate stage tomorrow.

    1. The rent is too damn high, isn’t it?

      1. Sometimes, so is Gary.

        1. *narrows gaze*

          1. narrows stance?

  4. Meanwhile, former Iowa supply teacher MaryBeth Haglin, 24, who famously had sex with one of her students more than 100 times, is paying the bills by stripping.

    Way to bury the lede, Chuck!

    1. Anyone up for a road trip? Asking for a friend.

    2. That was tacked on to the end of the article to show differences in teaching styles.

  5. whoa, I think I’ve found my next wife.

  6. I so much want to cut off my tongue right now.

  7. I so much want to cut off my tongue right now.

  8. At least she didn’t ask for an Arnold Palmer, that halfbreed drink.

  9. This is ridiculous. I’ve read the Brickbat, read the link, read about this story yesterday and not once does any of it mention what grade she teaches.

    I should think it matters whether she’s talking to second-graders or a high school senior English class. We can at least pretend the eight year olds have never heard these words before.

    The link says her students are rating her on the internets, so I’m going with teenagers who have free independent run of the internet.

    Reportedly told a female student she “looked like a frumpy old lady today.”

    Oh, FFS.

    Her employers have a professionalism complaint, nothing more.

    1. An Ontario high school teacher

      First line of the brickbat. The language is not new to any of the students.

      1. Good morning, UCS. If you find my marbles too, please leave them at the front desk. Much appreciated, cheers.

        1. He was probably thinking Ontario, California.

          1. That damn town annoyed the crap out of me when I worked on a helpdesk.

            It would show up as “Ontario CA”, which didn’t really narrow it down a whole lot.

    2. Yeah, and they list the terrible reviews she’s gotten from students…all two of them that are 11 years apart.

  10. Your body-shaming has been noted.

  11. Would Crusty?*

    *I’m assuming fat gingers are a yes. I’d guess the discriminator here is being batshit insane.

    1. So then, it is a resounding yes from Crusty!

  12. Morning,no,just no.

  13. That was just a lesson about Mozart.

    1. Sorry, that made me think of “Last Action Hero”

      Danny said you couldn’t be trusted. He said you killed Mo Zart

      Mo who?


      Look, I’ve killed a lot of people…

  14. She needs some refinement in the request department.

    ‘Fuck me where the diarrhea comes out’ is not sexy.

    But hey. Ontario.

    /narrows gaze.

    1. I think it was not meant to be. It was more along the lines of a dismissive “kiss my ass” type ‘retort’ than a come-on.

      1. I don’t see the difference.

        /blank stare.

  15. I don’t know what the big hubba-bub is. We had acidic and crude teachers in high school and never over reacted. Some just laughed it off or deemed them insane while others loved them for being so nuts. None made the news.

    1. It’s a symptom of an inflamed outrage culture. Until the base disease gets treated, there will be an allergic overreaction to minor events.

      1. …allergic overreaction to minor events.

        We’ve perhaps never been more invested in being “right”. Everyone must be right, all the time. Did you make an error? Here’s why it wasn’t really an error, actually they’re right in every respects if you look at it from the proper point of… and hey, anyways, the other guy is more wrong, and that counts the same as being right!

        I suspect it’s a side effect of a growing-stakes game. When the teacher can have a child (and even a “child”) arrested for what ought to have earned a call home to the parents; when we commit multiple felonies a day in the course of ordinary life; when we’re responsible for everything without agency to change anything and those who have all the agency have no responsibility, then we have a demand for unrealistic perfection.

        Instead of giving people room to screw up, learn from it and improve, we offer crushing excess punishment to anyone who can’t prove their perfection. No wonder so many people refuse to admit their mistakes. There’s no future in it.

    2. I had a high school teacher who, when asked if he grades on a curve, would respond, “only for girls.” I’m guessing that wouldn’t go over so well today.

    3. The problem is the current culture where people massively overreact to anything having to do with children.

      She made a ‘crude suggestion’ to a child! That shit can not stand. The delicate snowflakes . . .

      And the kids no this which is why one of them bothered to report it. They know how to work the system to get the system to do their dirty work and they get to walk away with a halo.

      This teacher is simply unprofessional but not newsworthy.

  16. Tourettes Teacher would make a good SNL character.

    1. Maybe 30+ years ago. Now it would just be….sad like the rest of the show.

  17. Here’s a brickbat for you:

    NYT headline: UK CEOs Consider Pulling Up Stakes Because of Brexit

    First sentence: A survey of company CEOs in Britain suggests that a majority is considering moving some business away from the U.K. amid concerns about the country’s future outside the European Union.

    Second sentence: Research by KPMG shows that three fourths of the 100 executives questioned would consider moving their headquarters or some operations outside Britain in order to keep a link to the EU’s common, tariff-less market.

    Notice “pulling up stakes” becomes “moving some business” and “because of Brexit” becomes “amid concerns” becomes “in order to keep a link”. I would be surprised if 100% of UK CEO’s aren’t considering the fact that the UK withdrawing from the EU means that they’re now dealing with a foreign country when they’re doing business with the rest of Europe. If you’re doing business in a foreign country, it’s completely normal to establish a legal physical presence. It doesn’t mean you’re moving your business to the foreign country, much less “pulling up stakes”. And there’s no opinion being expressed good or bad wrt Brexit, it’s just a matter-of-fact dealing with reality.

    1. It is a simple matter of math. Will they pay more in tariffs by not moving some operations to the continent than they will save in taxes with UK’s lower taxes? They will keep headquarters in the UK with subsidiaries on the continent. In the end they will fare better than if the UK stayed in the EU.

      Like you said, dealing with matter-of-fact reality. It is what you do if you are in business.

      Proggies have to turn every analysis into propaganda. Everything is political for them.

  18. Sounds like she might be Toronto mayor material.

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