Gary Johnson

A Reading Guide to Lefty Panic Attacks About Gary Johnson

Why, this devious Libertarian monster doesn't even want to give free college to everybody!


By now, the Democratic panic over Millennials not being enthusiastic enough about Hillary Clinton and flirting openly with known Libertarian Gary Johnson is becoming a campaign genre onto itself. We have already discussed in this space recent efforts from Paul Krugman and Kevin Drum; to ease the digestion process while pointing out some tropes, I have divvied up four recent pieces into some common constituent parts:

Adele M. Stan ||| C-SPAN

Lefty panicker: Adele M. Stan, AlterNet: "12 Ways Gary Johnson Is a Hardcore Right-Wing Radical: His rhetoric on marijuana and against war serve as a shield for a litany of radical-right positions"

To-be-sure throat-clear: "Former New Mexico governor Gary Johnson has emphasized his support for marijuana legalization and touts an anti-war stance in an attempt to lure progressives to his cause. But progressives are likely less aware of…"

Sick burn (not really): "Johnson answered the following when asked whether he supports requiring employers to pay men and women the same for performing the same job: 'No, there are too many other variables such as education, experience, and tenure that determine a fair salary.'"

Can you believe he's not in favor of unlimited free stuff?: "Opposes federal guarantees for student loans."

Those dots won't connect themselves!: "Johnson's former adviser, Roger Stone, is now advising the Trump campaign, and has talked in the past of how to use a third-party candidate to split an opponent's vote."

Huh?: "May have Koch backing for 2016 effort. The Daily Caller, a right-wing website, breathlessly reported in May an anonymous Johnson campaign staffer's assertion that David Koch had pledged 'tens of millions of dollars' to bankroll Johnson's 2016 campaign. (David Koch was the Libertarian Party's 1980 vice-presidential nominee.) According to reporter Drew Johnson, '[a] Koch spokesman declined to comment on record.' But after his article was published at the Daily Caller, Drew Johnson wrote, the unnamed spokesman said Koch had not pledged his support to any presidential candidate. So, who knows?"

Ol' Weird Harold strikes again! ||| Washington Post
Washington Post

Lefty panicker: Harold Meyerson, L.A. Times: "Vote for Johnson, elect Trump. Clinton's youth turnout problem and what Tom Steyer can do about it."

To-be-sure throat-clear: "To be sure, Johnson supports the legalization of marijuana — way cool. Less cool is…"

Sick burn (not really): "The oddity — and potentially, the tragedy — of all this is that many young Americans' defining beliefs are dismissed or opposed by libertarians generally and Johnson in particular."

Can you believe he's not in favor of unlimited free stuff?: "Then there's Johnson's position on what government can do to make college more affordable and enable students to matriculate without piling up mountains of debt. Or, more accurately, the absence of a position. He doesn't have one, since the very idea of such government interference runs counter to the libertarian creed."

We must do the campaign's dirty work, comrades: "It's understandable that her campaign hasn't gone after Johnson — that would only raise his profile and give him more credibility. But there's much he's proposing that would be anathema to millennials if they only knew about it. Somebody needs to call that to their attention."

Huh?: "In partnership with the Service Employees International Union and other labor groups, [anti-global warming billionaire] Steyer is funding nearly 40% of a $55-million campaign to win young people's votes for Clinton — focusing, as he recently told MSNBC's Lawrence O'Donnell, on issues of 'economic justice, environmental justice [and] racial justice.'"

Judd Legum ||| C-SPAN

Lefty panicker: Judd Legum, Think Progress: "The myth of Gary Johnson: He's attracting a lot of support from Millennials. But why?"

To-be-sure throat-clear: "Johnson embraces a few Millennial-friendly positions like marijuana legalization, reproductive rights, and a non-interventionist foreign policy. But dive just a little deeper…"

Sick burn (not really): "If you went into a lab and created a candidate who has the opposite view of corporate power as Bernie Sanders, he would look a lot like Gary Johnson."

Can you believe he's not in favor of unlimited free stuff?: "Bernie Sanders attracted scores of young people to his campaign. One of his popular policies among this demographic: Free college tuition. […] Gary Johnson, meanwhile, would eliminate the Department of Education?—?the agency that administers the Pell Grant program, which enables millions of students to attend college each year."

Let's deliberately ignore what the candidate actually says on the issue: "The Libertarian Party platform, however, calls for the abolition of Social Security. It would be replaced with nothing."

Huh?: "In Johnson's America, corporations will be completely in charge of the environment, health care, retirement, trade and wages."

Disclosure: I like Jim Newell. ||| C-SPAN

Lefty panicker: Jim Newell, Slate: "Gary Johnson Is Not Worth Any Liberal's Protest Vote: He's a free-market ideologue who would work to undermine large pieces of the left's program."

To-be-sure throat-clear: "And at first glance, it's not hard to see why. Johnson's fun. He's a fun, funny dude. I personally liked him when he was asked about Aleppo and was all, What in the hell are you even talking about? Ha! The exposure probably made it a net-plus for him in the end. He likes #extreme outdoor sports and thinks weed is great. He mostly supports abortion rights, LGBT rights, and rolling back America's global military footprint. He has a responsible adult politician as his running mate. And he's real. America's young people, we're constantly told, value honesty and authenticity. They certainly see Hillary Clinton as inauthentic and dishonest, while Donald Trump, on the other end, is a walking reminder of the wisdom of employing scripts, political calculation, and simple discretion as bulwarks against unleashing one's full self to the public. Gary Johnson? He's just Gary Johnson. There's a lot more to Gary Johnson, though…."

Sick burn (not really): "[A]side from a few issues, he is a small-government, free-market ideologue."

Can you believe he's not in favor of unlimited free stuff?: "Since we're talking about young voters here, too, don't ask Johnson for much help on college tuition."

Um, you are comparing him to Hillary Clinton, remember?: "Johnson supports criminal justice reform, mainly by curtailing the war on drugs. Like a lot of politicians who had their heyday in the '90s, Johnson has undergone a transformation on this issue."

Huh?: "On net, from the perspective of the consensus, young, liberal voter, Johnson over Clinton means a marginally slimmer chance of a hypothetical ground war that Clinton—though more hawkish by instinct—has shown no interest in pursuing."

Reason on Gary Johnson here.

NEXT: Donald Trump and the Appeal of Political Antinomianism: New at Reason

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  1. Don’t forget this idiocy from Mother Jones. GJ doesn’t think that government regulation will solve climate change! The horror!

    1. That was from 2011. I’m surprised it took MoJo this long to dig it up, or perhaps its only useful to them now to that GJ is charming away precious millennials from the dem party like the pied piper.

      1. Start working at home with Google! It’s by-far the best job I’ve had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6474 this – 4 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringing home at least $77 per hour. I work through this link, go to tech tab for work detail,,,,,,,


    2. This was the more-recent idiocy from Mother Jones

      Why Are There Any Liberals Supporting Gary Johnson?

      It seems the Alternet article just cribbed the same list, and expanded on things

      1. It’s ultimately so patronizing too.

        Every single article has the same bent: Millennials are just ignorant. Clearly, that’s the only reason.

        1. I mean anyone who falls for shitty headlines like “To be sure, Johnson supports the legalization of marijuana ? way cool. Less cool is?” is probably a sheep anyway.

          Leftists are so entitled. They think entire swaths of people’s votes belong to them, then they last out on anyone that leaves the plantation.

          K. Jenner said she received far more flak from being a republican than being transgendered. Remember, being a ‘minority’ only protects you if you vote democrat.

          1. I think the idea that anyone go, “Sure, Johnson is cool on weed, which is nice… BUT! here’s some important shit (*cutting spending is Racist!)”…

            …and yet never bother noting that Hillary Clinton helped implement policies of mandatory drug-sentencing which put millions of people in prison.

            shorter = the shit they have to paper-over to swallow Clinton is like 1000x worse than the niggling complaints they make about Johnson’s lack of big-spending bona-fides.

            ‘oh noe, he’s a free-marketer’. How horrible. Well that must means they should vote for the corrupt crony-capitalist then! LOGIC

            1. Crony-capitalist goodness for us, free college tuition for you!

          2. Remember, being a ‘minority’ only protects you if you vote democrat.

            Yup. I remember Condoleeza Rice being portrayed by the left’s political cartoons as Prissy from Gone with the Wind. Or who can forget Colin Powell being referred to as a “House Nigger”. And, well, pretty much anything they say about Clarence Thomas. Ever.

            Doesn’t matter what you think about any of these guys politically. The shit really is straight up racism.

        2. It’s ultimately so patronizing too.

          Patronizing comes naturally to the Left. Remember this?

          “We will let your children be on your health insurance until they turn 26.”

        3. In fairness, millennials are ignorant. It’s just that lefties think that anyone that disagrees with them is ignorant at best.

          1. Fair enough.

        4. Sick burn (not really): “The oddity ? and potentially, the tragedy ? of all this is that many young Americans’ defining beliefs are dismissed or opposed by libertarians generally and Johnson in particular.”

          And also opposed by the Commission on Presidential Debates.


      3. That bullet point breakdown reads like an endorsement to me.

    3. My proggie roommate was perfectly fine with Johnson because you *knew* he was going to take votes away from Trump. Now that it appears to be the opposite, Johnson is literally worse than Hitler.

      It’s like how the left all parrots about getting more people to vote. Ask them if they mean getting more Trump supporters registered to vote and watch them squeal…

      1. Voting. After Brexit, the left was openly calling for revoking the franchise from senior citizens.

      2. not to mention, he takes from one of their go-to, and easy to target groups for getting out the vote. the major parties always target get out the vote efforts at the demographics that vote for them more… but now, if they get more young people to the polls… GJ gets more votes. he would definitely be the antichrist, if minorities started to support him over Hillary.

        1. Can you imagine how they would lose their minds if minorities started to support him?

          We saw some of this from Bernie Bros who couldn’t understand how those ignorant minorities could vote for Hillary.

    4. My best friend’s sister makes $89 an hour on the internet . She has been out of a job for six months but last month her check was $14750 just working on the internet for a few hours. Go this website and click tech tab to start your work… Now this website…

    5. My best friend’s sister makes $89 an hour on the internet . She has been out of a job for six months but last month her check was $14750 just working on the internet for a few hours. Go this website and click tech tab to start your work… Now this website…

  2. Nice summary, Matt. No hit articles from the Trump side of the world. Wait, which side would that be?
    Now be sure to shake off the contaminants and wipe those lefty cookies off your PC.

    1. Why would Welch bother when he already knows that the slightly disaffected Republicans who make up around 80 percent of Hit and Run readers have already read the hatchet jobs on Breitbart?

      1. Gary doesn’t get much ink over there.

        1. Who said anything about quantity? Indeed, as far as screeds go quality is what you’re looking for.

          Though, I’m still not convinced that just wasn’t the output of a Markov chain text generator based on troll comments here.

        2. Euphemism?

      2. Over the last couple of months, it seems like 80% of H&R comments (at least the ones related to the election) have come from Trump supporters who have started commenting here to defend their guy.

        1. You think the Chinese have a monopoly on the w?m?o d?ng concept?

          1. Who has a monopoly on the diu lei concept?

            1. Libertarians have always had a Chi?u H?i program. Even for Bob Barr!

              1. Godammmm it! This is Murica and we only use Murican when we comment here!!!!

        2. because we all know that H&R comments swing an election 😉

          1. I look forward to National Woodchipper Day!

        3. 80%? huh. sounds scientific.

          What’s the percentage of moaning morons who characterize ‘bitching about Reason’s editorial decision to join the hyperventilating mass-media’…as “Trump support”?

          Or are those – like the *actual* trump supporters here – just a tiny handful of vocal people who repeat the same bullshit endlessly?

          1. 80% was scientifically stolen from HM’s comment.

            Unfortunately, lately it seems that most of the threads that start off as reasonable bitching quickly devolve into the repetitive bullshit.

            1. Congratulations on adding to the cliche-pile

        4. Although I occasionally defend Trump my election comments are about standing on principles and not voting for Gary Johnson.

          1. Okay Sugar Plum.

          2. “Although I occasionally defend Trump my election comments are about standing on principles and not voting for Gary Johnson.”

            I’ve got a bridge anchorage for sale cheap to anyone who buys this steaming pile of shit.

      3. Seriously, though, has there been anything from the right attacking Johnson? I mean, yeah, I remember a bunch saying that they couldn’t vote for him. But, not really much in the way of venom.

    2. The article was about millennials. Trump’s numbers with them are going to be low, with or without 3rd parties.

  3. I wish the Koch brothers would donate tens of millions to Clinton. The number of heads exploding would make it the single best moment in presidential election history.

    But seriously, I don’t understand the hang-up with the Koch brothers. They are supposedly behind all these “extremist” candidates who never win. If you hated them, why wouldn’t you be happy they were throwing away a fortune on loser candidates? Is there some kind of 3D chess theory I’m not aware of?

    1. It’s helpful to me when someone shrieks “Koch brothers!” I know to discount that person as unserious and move on.

      1. This. It’s like the bumper sticker rule.

    2. And the employees in advertising and broadcasting who are on the receiving end of that fortune are not hard core right-wingers. The Koch Bros are throwing away a fortune to subsidize left wing creatives and aren’t even getting what they want. What assholes.

    3. yet they don’t bat an eye about george soros, the tide foundation, etc

      remember, it’s not money in politics or corporations taking a stand that’s bad, it’s money in politics or corporations taking the WRONG stand. Principals, not Principles.

    4. But seriously, I don’t understand the hang-up with the Koch brothers.

      Cults need a devil as much as a god.

      1. ^ this

      2. Exactly. Trump has demonic immigrants. Hilary has demonic billionaires.

  4. Did you have a deadline and decided to just copy-paste the contents of your notepad page into the article?

  5. so they’re provided a basic outline and they just have to flesh it out a little? what’s that job pay?

    1. Nothing, the magazine relaized it could charge their contributers to provide content and still get people to work for them.

      Must be the parties.

    2. Isn’t that how all of journalism works?

  6. I just wanted to say that Steyer may appear to be one of those ‘anti-global warming’ guys, but in fact last I checked he made his money in the fossil fuel industry. The guy only supports American regulation because that would literally help his business. I could be wrong, but that was my takeaway.

    1. Pretty sure he figured the most certain way to grab taxpayer money is now ‘green’ shit.

  7. Currently going on at Boingboing:…..johns.html

    It’s really really sickening to see so many bright, self-professed open-minded intellectuals froth at the mouth over a corrupt, hawkish, sex-assault enabling, bribe-taking, felonious career politician with absolutely nothing to showcase as an accomplishment.

    I hate Trump, but seeing Clinton lose badly has it’s own special appeal.

    1. If someone claimed to be an “open-minded intellectual” it’s typically a good sign that they’re not and are more concerned with appearances than debate.

      1. They complain rampantly about all the stupid shit the govt does or enables – cops, bad tech laws, govt-financed graft…

        ….only to go back and root for **Team Blue!!!!**, who’re going to solve aaaaalllll the world’s problems and not realize how nauseatingly intertwined it all is.

      2. That’s good advice, generally.

        If someone claims to be something that can be demonstrated better by behavior, it’s worth taking with a grain of salt.

  8. C’mon, who hasn’t had a panic attack about their Johnson issues?

    1. Someone who hasn’t had issues?

    2. Someone who doesn’t have a Johnson?


      1. You just have Johnson envy

  9. All this hand wringing for guy that probably won’t even break 3%?

    1. It’s the standard bearer for their delusions. They must give the ceremonial wringing of hands and weeping of orphans.

    2. Hillary is the rightful owner of that 3%. We OWE it to her. Why can’t you see that?

      1. That’s the difference between Trump and Clinton: Trump thinks he’s the greatest guy ever and should be elected God-Emperor of the Universe. Clinton knows that she IS the God-Empress of the Universe, and she’s sick and tired of us peons who fail to acknowledge her.

    3. Well, last week Hillary was slipping the polls and it was revealed that one of her main problems is left-leaning millennials weren’t voting for her and instead were choosing 3rd party candidates. Hence, the onslaught of propaganda this week.

      1. What’s worse? It’s kinda working. Some lefty millennial friends on Facebook are sharing this bull and adding things like “come on! It’s this or Trump!!”

        1. Mine as well. I really hate talking politics on Facebook, but it does give me an itchy trigger finger.

        2. Funny that. I pointed out to an acquaintance that the sneering reference to Johnson he’d linked in his FB feed was really just part of a coordinated campaign the Clinton campaign announced it was going to employ. Dude went apeshit.



      2. The Dems have slipped a bit from 4 to 1 in the bookie odds, but never below 2 to 1 odds. The LP has gone from 400 to 1 to 33 to 1, which is just about equal to the law changing clout of a single libertarian spoiler vote. The more Dems that defect from the prohibitionist warmongers, the closer the Dem victory and the more laws and taxes those libertarian spoiler votes will change–just a they always have in the past.
        Stay-the-course with the Kleptocrats or live-and-let-live with the libertarians at 30 times the bang for the ballot?

  10. Sure are a lot of people who want to solve the high price of college by having the government hand out money. I mean if all dumb ideas are on the table, why not mandate tuition/fees price ceilings?

    1. It’s almost like the last fifty years of the government handing out money to solve the high price of college never happened.

      1. I kept getting confused as to where the two “RIT Grants” on my tuition bill came from. I eventually figured it out. The actual bill was decided by adding up what the school figured I could pay and how much aid I could get. Since it was within a margin of the list price, they added the small grants from the school itself (to itself) to fill in the gap so that they’d get that 97% of list price instead of $0.

    2. The government caps prices for medicare payments, don’t they? Why can’t they cap prices for education paid for by federally backed loans?

      1. Especially if one starts with a socialism mentality — just cap all prices regardless of funding. I think this isn’t as talked about unlike with pharmaceutical pricing because there’s this weird acceptance that $40K/year is totally reasonable and justifiable rather than a bubble inflated by decades of free money. That, plus “loan guarantees” is code for “rich people pay for my stuff.”

    3. When YOUR TEAM is in control of the prices, price caps are a non-starter.

  11. From the second article: “But there’s much he’s proposing that would be anathema to millennials if they only knew about it. Somebody needs to call that to their attention.”

    Or… millennials might actually like those things. Imagine The level of liberal pants-shitting if they realized that.

    The fourth article (or at least the excerpted portion) reads more like an endorsement of Johnson than a criticism.

    1. Yeah, he did not seem particularly enthusiastic about the job.

    2. I haven’t read the linked articles, but everything Matt excerpts read… yeah, like an endorsement. Can you believe he doesn’t want to print trillions of dollars and drop them from Zeppelins?

    3. They can’t accept that people are making an informed decision to vote for Johnson. It has to be done out of ignorance or lack of information.

  12. The Hillary campaign has not, so far, had to spend much to go after Trump because they believe that he is his own worst negative ad. So it seems that they are now throwing all these resources at GJ (I still wonder why they don’t go after Stein who is surely taking away more of their voters).

    It will be sweet irony if they piss away all their money on GJ and Trump wins.

    1. Because they essentially agree with Stein, the way they essentially agreed with Sanders. Hillary just believes she can ‘get things done’ because of her slightly more moderate stance. Has everyone forgotten the early “I’m With That Bitch” campaign missives that pointed out that Clinton and Sanders agreed 99.999878% of the time, which is why all you Sanders voters should get on board and come on in for the big win?

      That shit was almost as bas as my local politics, where candidates fall all over themselves to prove how much they agree with the other candidate.

      1. All Hillary has ever asked was for Americans to obey her orders as they would the word of God.

        1. Hey, God only ever wanted 10% of everybody’s earnings.

          1. I’ve pointed this out, before. I’d be pretty happy at this point if the government only took that much.

          2. “Hey, God only ever wanted 10% of everybody’s earnings.”

            Hillary is not that kind or caring of a God.

    2. I still wonder why they don’t go after Stein who is surely taking away more of their voters

      1) Gary is, in fact, taking more votes from Hillary than Stein is – Stein just isn’t inspiring people (partly because of the reasons DR/Paul points to, that if you like Stein, it’s a lot easier to swallow your bile and vote for Hillary, because you agree on most things, policy-wise, anyway)

      2) They do attack Stein – the anti-vaxxer thing by itself crippled her almost single-handedly, since it opened up the meme that “she’s a god-damned medical doctor and she’s against vaccines! She’s obviously a moron!”

      She’s not actually anti-vaccine, but no one who’s supporting Hillary is looking hard enough for alternatives to have dug that up. They’ve also gone after her running mate for having called Obama an “Uncle Tom” and for various racist remarks he’s made.

      Oddly no one calls him out for not being in any way an environmentalist, but I suppose since the Democrats nominated a Republican, the Republicans nominated a Democrat, and the Libertarians nominated a two moderate Republicans, it shouldn’t be surprising that Green nominated a couple of socialists who have no knowledge of any actual environmental issues.

      1. After the Y2K Green vote took 500% of the gap between George Waffen Bush nationalsocialists and Groper Gore econazis, the Dems adopted all the Green planks they could decipher and ordered mass counterfeiting of temperature data. The ground data diverges from the satellite data as of that spoiler vote slammerino. The only thing the Dems could add to the appeasement would be to round up the 30,000 scientists who signed the Petition Project and ship them off to extermination camps wearing yellow “Denieren” armbands.
        But the Dems have got votes to burn at 2 to 1 odds in their favor.

  13. 12 Ways Gary Johnson Is a Hardcore Right-Wing Radical:

    Matt and Nick need to get into the same room and hash out whether or not libertarians will really ever have anything meaningful in common with progressives. Those few of you who don’t filter me know my opinion.

    1. Even were we agree (pot) it’s not even the same. I want it to be like tomatoes or lettuce. They want anew 18% sales tax, a list of who buys, lost gun rights, controlled sellers, controlled hours, strict growing conditions, 3 different parties to separate growing, distribution and sales.

      1. Don’t forget the child-proof containers!

  14. “[A]side from a few issues, he is a small-government, free-market ideologue.”

    Apparently marijuana legalization and less wars is the staple of “big government” I guess.

    1. “[A]side from a few issues, he is a small-government, free-market ideologue.”

      The horror, right? Imagine, a Libertarian believing this shit!!!

  15. “Known Libertarian” gave me a giggle

    1. Are you now or have you ever been an advocate for individual liberty?

      1. Am I being detained?

        1. So then I’m free to go.

      2. Not one expects the Progressive Inquisition!

  16. As a millenial, im more turned off by people assuming that im too stupid to know whats good for me.

    “But there’s much he’s proposing that would be anathema to millennials if they only knew about it. Somebody needs to call that to their attention.”

    It doesn’t even occur to him that some of us don’t want to be nannied about our entire lives. Leave us alone and stop trying to openly buy our votes, its shameful and embarrassing.

    1. No, no, no. You’re a millennial, so they know what you want. You want to smoke dope and have sex and stuff, but basically have everything else managed for you by government bureaucrats.

      You basically want the government to be really cool parents.

      1. Isn’t that the philosophy of every bad sitcom dad ever? My kids will like me if im cool…

      2. “You basically want the government to be really cool parents.”

        Wow, that is like, one of the best descriptions of a liberal mentality that I’ve heard.

        Reminds me of the cringworthy line from Marvel’s Avengers where the protagonist acknowledges that, yes, they’re regulatory state “is Big Brother, but it’s a really NICE Big Brother”.

        1. *Their

        2. And, apparently, Joss really believed that lie, er, line.

          1. Alas, poor Joss. A hopeless bleeding heart with an inexplicable talent for creating libertarian favorites.

            You can’t stop the signal.

        3. Parents who rob the neighbors to spoil their kids…

      3. +1 Julia

    2. It’s always amusing when they don’t even try to hide the bribery.

      “Hey, young’uns, you have some problems with student debt, don’t ya? Our candidate will make sure those loans are taken care of.”

    3. I’m a millennial and full blown Rothbardian anarchist. The pants shitting that must induce for these enlightened gatekeepers. And I jumped ship from the left too.

    4. Ditto. I’m one. I just want to go to work, take home my whole paycheck, and not be bothered by the state.
      I don’t know how anyone can go to the DMV and not come out a libertarian. Or anarchist.

      1. I always wonder how people can go to the DMV and then decide they want the same people in charge of their health care.

    5. Fellow millenial. If ever I’m wavering in my support for Gay Jay, I’ll just refer to that “opposite of Sanders” comment. It’s not really that true, but I’ll take it

  17. the Democratic panic over Millennials not being enthusiastic enough about Hillary Clinton …

    Todays version of that over @ WaPo =

    When will millennials start liking Hillary Clinton?

    In most of these polls, the young supporters ditching Clinton seem to be shifting not to Trump but to third-party candidates, particularly Libertarian Gary Johnson. The Michigan poll has Johnson tied with Trump; the national Quinnipiac poll actually has Johnson slightly ahead of Trump among under-35 voters…

    …The Clinton campaign has thus also been desperately seeking coverage in millennial-tailored media. She whipped up an inane essay for Mic titled “Hillary Clinton: Here’s What Millennials Have Taught Me.” (The tl;dr lesson: Millennials are totes awesome.) …

    The author concludes

    Don’t be surprised if their third-party crushes start to fade as the prospect of President Trump begins to feel all too terrifyingly real.

    The kiddies will come back to the fold if Clinton is ‘in danger’, she hopes. Because they fear Trump more than they loathe Clinton.

    1. nope, I’m voting GJ and would vote for Trump before I vote for someone who should be in Prison several times over.

      not that my vote matters in CA anyway.

      Fuck you entitled leftists who assume a whole generation belongs to you. Half of millennials who are losers yes, but the ones who are on the right track and in charge of their own life, no.

      1. I applaud your attitude. I hope you trigger the leftist half into tears everyday by virtue of your self-ownership.

      2. The Canadian government cares deeply about libertarian voters. There are no antiabortion laws there–zero, zip, none, nada! There is such a thing as RCMP officers shooting unarmed youngsters, but youngsters shoot back as in the 1920s in the USA. Canadians value their police, not foreign prohibition laws. The national government is shitcanning fanatical prohibition laws the same way they got rid of fanatical abortion laws. There is a whole country up there absolutely free of totalitarian national socialists eager to bully women and shoot kids.

    2. Because they fear Trump more than they loathe Clinton.

      Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail: 2016. Damn, I miss Hunter S Thompson. I bet he’d have some choice words for both candidates.

      1. Nobody fears ex-Democrat Trump or former Goldwater Republican Clinton. It’s the millions of bloodsucking lawyer parasites fastened on to each end of the Kleptocracy that fear having to work for a living. Those are what wrote “both” party platforms–six or seven times as long as the LP platform (which takes a half-hour to read aloud and is smaller than the Constitution). Slap them suckers with some spoiler votes and idiotic laws will be repealed faster’n you can say “individual rights!”

  18. Seattle and State mulls banning old fashioned cars with real drivers on interstate clear up to the Canadian border.

    How to solve traffic problems on I-5? What about banning humans from driving on it? And replacing them with robots?

    A proposal to do just that is being discussed at a technology conference in Vancouver, B.C., that Washington Gov. Jay Inslee, B.C. Premier Christy Clark, Seattle Mayor Ed Murray, Microsoft founder Bill Gates and Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella were expected to attend on Tuesday.

    The long-term vision of the proposal by Seattle’s Madrona Venture Group is for the 150-mile ribbon of highway between Seattle and Vancouver, B.C., to be occupied only by driverless cars ? except for quiet times at nights and weekends, when humans could reclaim the territory behind the wheel they’d lost to robots.

    1. Driverless cars made by Microsoft, I presume.

      1. I don’t want a car that crashes every half an hour.

        1. I don’t want a car that crashes every half hour and is made by a rent-seeking welfare queen.

          1. Look on the bright side. Your MSCar will tell everyone on the internet where you are and what you’re talking about, pop up ads on every flat surface, and monitor the contents of your refrigerator. And it will accomplish all that before delivering you to where Google Earth says your destination is.

        2. Every few months…it will turn itself off and then slowly restart itself.

          1. And behave more and more like a drunk driver.

            1. We no longer support this version… while doing 70 mph.

        3. +1 Blue screen of death

        4. Driving up I-5 at 70 mph and watching your machine suddenly reboot gives a whole new meaning to “The Blue Screen of Death”.

    2. I have a feeling the feds might have something to say about making an interstate freeway unusable to almost everyone.

      1. President Clinton warmly invites prominent large Democratic donors for an overnight stay in the Lincoln bedroom to discuss their innovative environmentally conscious ideas.

    3. Why stop there? Replace the passengers with robots, too.

  19. RE: A Reading Guide to Lefty Panic Attacks About Gary Johnson
    Why, this devious Libertarian monster doesn’t even want to give free college to everybody!

    Where this selfish and cruel capitalist pig, Gary Johnson, has the temerity to get up on stage and spout personal responsibility, financial freedom and independence from The State is anyone’s guess. This fool actually believes no one should get free shit? How old fashioned is that? Where did he come from? The Jurassic Age? Everyone knows everything should be for free. Free education, free food, free homes, free movies, free video games, etc. One can only imagine the burden and pain one would be suffering should they get a job, a paycheck and act responsibly like an adult. The person who would be condemned to engage in such criminal activities would undoubtedly contract cancer, MS, AIDS or some other horrible disease or condition. That is why our obvious betters enslaving us want to trust them so they can have all the money. This way, the enlightened slavers in power will redistribute the wealth of this country into its proper places for the benefit of the collective. Not allowing the untermenschen of this country to have a ton of free shit goes against the grain of the socialist principles and common sense.
    After all, if the air we breathe is free, shouldn’t a new Bentley or Mercedes be free too?

  20. For a second, I mistook Harold Meyerson for the #FULLCOMMUNISM Rolling Stone Retard Jesse Myerson.

    A quick look at his bio reveals that Harold Meyerson is the son of socialists and a socialist himself. So he’s not as retarded as Jesse Myerson, but he’s almost there.

    1. When Rolling Stone isn’t publishing broken glass rape table fiction, they’re advocating the rape of the country at large.

      1. Like, unemployment blows and stuff.

        “Make Everything Owned by Everybody”

        Jesus Christ.

      2. 3. Take Back The Land
        Ever noticed how much landlords blow? They don’t really do anything to earn their money. They just claim ownership of buildings and charge people who actually work for a living the majority of our incomes for the privilege of staying in boxes that these owners often didn’t build and rarely if ever improve.

        we have to stop letting rich people pretend they privately own what nature provided everyone.

        Wow. I’d like to see Myerson house himself in what nature has provided for him – a cave, perhaps?

        1. He’s a Pol Pot without an army, isn’t he?

          Stock up on guns and ammo. When morons like Jesse Myerson usurp power, you’ll need them.

        2. This guy thinks apartment buildings are natural geologic formations?

          1. “This guy thinks apartment buildings are natural geologic formations?”

            Nah, he just thinks that the ‘wrong’ people currently own them.

        3. Jesse really is a loathsome fuckwit.

          /I wish the Independents was still on so they could read that to him.

    2. I actually cancelled my Washington Post subscription several years ago specifically because I just couldn’t accept that they gave Harold Meyerson money to write words.

      1. The only paper I ever had a subscription to was the financial times. WaPo, you’d have to pay me to get me to read it on the regular.

  21. “12 Ways Gary Johnson Is a Hardcore Right-Wing Radical: ”

    When you’re a hammer everything looks like a nail.

    1. Eine… Zwei… Drei… Hammer!!

      1. I like eins, zwei, drei, g’suffa! better.

    2. Look, teevee–meaning the Altruist Broadcasting Corporation, the Nationalsocialist Broadcasting Corporation and the Communist Broadcasting Service–has dinned into viewers’ heads that there is only a single straight line an inch long with Christian National Socialism and Soviet Socialist Republican Communism on either end. Abandoning the initiation of force won’t register on the reality control meter until they get whacked upside with Libertarian spoiler votes totaling 5 times the difference between having jobs and reading the want ads. When that happens those parasites will come fawning like whipped curs to embrace a couple of libertarian-sounding notions, just as their predecessors changed in 1892, 1932 and 2000.

  22. The modern liberal wants government-provided solutions above all other things, so I’m surprised any of them would even think about Gary Johnson. Could this mean that Millennials aren’t committed to progressive ideology?

      1. You know who else had a credo that included the word “Uber”?

        1. John Belushi?

    1. Liberal is a swearword God’s Own Prohibitionists copied out of Mein Kampf, along with the Positive Christianity planks. Before 1932 it meant the same in These States as in Canada and Australia–a timid sort of gelded libertarian.

  23. Cage match between The Jacket and Meyerson’s Jacket?

    1. Nah, Meyerson got his from the clearance rack at Marshall’s. THE Jacket is the extrusion into our sensory realm of an Elder Entity from outside the universe.

  24. Disclosure: I like Jim Newell

    Gingers with glasses: UNITE

  25. Clearly Reason is in the tank for Trump and is just trying to get liberals to vote for Johnson so Trump wins /s

    Seriously though, after becoming so depressed over the terrible two party choices in this election, I’ve resigned myself to simply enjoy the inevitable meltdown from the losing side after the election. It will at least provide a little bit of entertainment before the ensuing shitstorm of the next 4-8 years.

    1. I largely agree with this. I don’t really think one is worse than the other, but I think Trump would most likely create a worse long term situation. His election would effectively end small government conservatism, which for all of its faults and all of the ways it was paradoxically linked to social conservatism and warmongering, was at least an impediment to progressivism’s advance. Furthermore, if Trump is elected, Elizabeth Warren will be elected in 2020, and of all of the American politicians who might possibly end up in the White House, she’s the most likely to go full Mao/Stalin/Pol Pot. She’s as evil as Joe Arpaio and could potentially command more resources than he could imagine.

    2. Unfortunately, the “losing side” in this election is called “America”.

  26. “Then there’s Johnson’s position on what government can do to make college more affordable and enable students to matriculate without piling up mountains of debt. Or, more accurately, the absence of a position. He doesn’t have one, since the very idea of such government interference runs counter to the libertarian creed.”

    That’s rich. He can’t possibly oppose it because it’s a stupid policy that perverts incentives and will lead to very bad things. It has to be because of an irrational religious-like attachment to a mysterious “creed”. That is exactly what one would expect Tony to write.

    1. He’s also an obvious loser, since he doesn’t have a policy on how we’ll govern Russia after we nuke it to smithereens!
      I mean, how can a person be a credible prez candidate without addressing the gov’ts role in both those issues?

  27. A quick look at this comparison chart shows that the only place where there’s any significant departure between Stein and Clinton is on defense issues. The rest is just fractional degrees of vigorous nodding.


    1. Hmm, Hillary gets a 3.2 rating and Stein 4.1 (out of 5). That says a lot about the typical reader of

  28. This is kinda funny, since usually the “libertarians stealing our votes” comes from the Republicans. I suspect we’ll still get some of that.

    So no matter whether Clinton or Trump wins, it will be the libertarians’ fault. Bipartisanship for the win!

    1. I hope that it’s our fault.

      1. Optimist says that this will show them they have heed libertarians’ ideas to win the next election.

        Pessimist says it’ll convince them once and for all of the need to send libertarians to camps.

    2. When the econazis got 5 times the votes girl groper Gore lost by, the entire Democratic Party converted en masse to Environmental National Socialism as a State Religion to rival George Bush’s executive orders injecting Faith-Based theocratic fanatics into the federal government. Fake climate records forged to order go up at a 45? angle (mebbe half a degree) while satellite data averages a horizontal line showing equal temperature these past 15 years.* No clearer proof could be offered of the leveraged power of spoiler votes to force immediate changes in major mixed economy kleptocracy policies. Losing those gubmint jobs makes parasites change policies in a heartbeat.
      * See realclimatescience or oiltranslator for the data graphs.

  29. ” ‘No, there are too many other variables such as education, experience, and tenure that determine a fair salary.'”

    Another good response would be “No two people do exactly the same job, so your question is irrelevant”.

    1. The correct response would be “It’s none of my business. Employees are free to negotiate whatever wage they want with employers.”

  30. Thank you for this, Matt. I’ve been seething for the past several weeks over the deluge of these on my derpbook feed and elsewhere.

    The only good news is that the more they shriek and panic, the more desparate it means they are getting.

    1. I wonder if it’s working or if the shrieking is driving more people into johnson’s arms. Generally to my knowledge few people are amenable to the persuasion of shrieking.

    2. The tax-happy Whig Party candidates were just as panicky in 1844. Do you miss them?

  31. I do rather enjoy the spectacle of the same people who get acute cases of the vapors over the Kochs openly pining for Tom Steyer to spend more money.

    1. It’s just too funny how association with “the Kochs” is sort of assumed to be an obvious indicator of something evil going on. And all they have as an explanation is that the Koch brothers spent a lot on promoting some Republican candidates earlier in the 90s.

      I also enjoy how every supposed attack on Johnson there reads like an endorsement to me.

      1. The secret is out:

        Koch loves Johnson.

  32. Johnson derangement syndrome

  33. I still love Matt Welch.

    If only he were shorter.

    1. Stand on a chair next time.

  34. Does anyone on here tell lefties….

    “Well i was going to vote third party, but due to the arguments of Krugman and leftist political bloggers telling me third party is a waste and to stop being a protest vote, i have decided to take their advice and vote Trump!”

  35. Holy shit. I just read that Rolling Stone excrescence. I am unequivocally dumber, now.

  36. I’ve got to express a bit of gratitude to these lefty idiots. I had been feeling less than enthusiastic about Johnson because I perceived him as wishy washy in his libertarianism. They’ve convinced me he is actually more of a threat to the failed, tired sacred cows they call ideas than I originally thought. I will not only vote FOR him, I will even make a modest contribution to his campaign.

    Well done, suckers! Keep on nominating criminal trash and flogging crap that died shortly after Marx did! I will try to contain my gloating when your side is drawing 1%. (No I won’t.)

  37. My Koch is bigger than your Johnson.

  38. Matt, what have you done here? Very confusing piece. I love Reason, but I’m not sure this was worth the time it took you to put together, and I highly doubt it helps Johnson or freedom very much.

  39. Why do progs support Hillary Clinton who is a bigger war monger than Dick Cheney?

    Why do progs support Hillary Clinton who supports the racist and un Constitutional war on drugs?

    It must be because they too are racist war mongers.

    1. Read George Waffen Bush’s first Executive orders. They create special offices for packing the federal government with coercive religious fanatics at taxpayer expense. This and daddy’s bombings sufficed to have fanatics equally religious fly planes into buildings and saddle the US (not the Saudis) with a Third Reich Enabling Act. While the fanatics attacked the individual rights of women in These States (just like Saudi Arabia), the Bush Admin used forfeiture and taxes to destroy the economy here, and exported those same Mohammedan prohi laws all over the world to make the collapse global. War, murder, prohibitionism, national socialism got votes in 1920, but not any more.

  40. Strange that you feel the need to calm the fears of the Leftard. It is almost as if Johnson was a Leftist, and not an actual Libertarian.

    Oh, I almost forgot where I am, the faux libertarian site run by Leftards posing as Libertarians.

    1. Republicans, on the other hand, have bookies laying 2 to 1 odds they get probed with a sharp stick this election. Those pathetic prohibitionists have good reason to dirty their drawers. Maybe Jerry Fallwell can pray them into office?

  41. All these yelpers overlook the simple arithmetic of how spoiler votes have ALWAYS changed the law in the past. Prohibition Party candidates lost with 1.4% of the popular vote but their religious fanatic supporters got the constitutional amendment making light beer a felony in 11 presidential campaigns. Communist manifesto plank 2 was a war measure to Lincoln’s Red Republicans. But when looter prohibitionist William Jennings Bryan and buddies got silver miner backing and 8.5% of the vote, that income tax “both” parties hated became federal law within two years! Their 8.5% of the vote let their 3 congressmen push through legislation like they’d gotten 60% or more of the ballots and controlled the House and Senate.
    Your libertarian spoiler vote is the only nonviolent way to state what you want LOUD and clear. The Dems can spare millions of voters. After all, their candidate is favored to win at 2 to 1 odds by professionals who bet money on elections.

  42. Start working at home with Google! It’s by-far the best job I’ve had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6474 this – 4 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringing home at least $77 per hour. I work through this link, go? to tech tab for work detail,,,,,,,

  43. Xavier . I can see what your saying… William `s posting is incredible… last monday I bought themselves a volvo after I been earnin $5905 this-past/5 weeks and-just over, 10k this past munth . without a doubt its the coolest job I’ve ever done . I actually started four months/ago and pretty much immediately brought home at least $69 p/h . look at this now


  44. Start working at home with Google! It’s by-far the best job I’ve had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6474 this – 4 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringing home at least $77 per hour. I work through this link, go? to tech tab for work detail,,,,,,,

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