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  1. 227) Yesterday on Mourning Lynx there was a discussion of the 2009 cash for clunkers program and how difficult it was to find a decent used car for years afterwards (and possibly persisting to the present day), especially one for under $10000. But I was thinking?the last time I bought a car under $10K was when I was in graduate school. I wondered if cash for clunkers would have had a particularly deleterious effect on the young?who are also more likely, I think, to work at retail jobs with odd hours that require a car, rather than mass transit.

    Check out this site to see the trend in youth unemployment (set the graph to 10 years). Man that climb in 2009 was steep! Yes, that was during the recession?but the total unemployment rate went from around 5% in 2007 to around 10% in 2010, youth unemployment in that time went from 10% to 20%. I wonder how much of that much far greater rise for under 25s was due to the sudden destruction of nearly 700,000 inexpensive vehicles. (Not to mention subsequent drops for young people in marriage, home purchases, household formation, etc.)

    1. Hello.

    2. That’s an interesting thought. I’d be curious how many people disposed of cars they otherwise would have given to their teenage kids but ended up not getting them anything as the economy contracted, thus effectively limiting their job opportunities.

      1. I had a Lincoln Mark VII rust bucket I’d bought for a grand that I was planning to strip the engine and trans out of and put into a ’72 Ranchero. It would have increased HP, reliability, ‘green-ness’, and mpg. I had a Neon for a daily driver.

        Instead, because C4C, I kept the stinky, oil-spitting, thirsty V8 in the ranchero and ended up replacing the Neon with a Cobalt SS that got 3 MPG worse, for 3500 in Obama Bucks.

        Winning.

    3. CforC has to be in the running for the worst fed govt program ever. Yes, it hurt the poor (and near poor) by driving up used car prices. Even the proponents of the program didn’t believe in it, evidenced by canning the program (after one renewal) because it was “too popular.” The thing was illogical and anti-economics from beginning to end. But your thoughts about joblessness are interesting.

      1. In the longer term the ACA will make CfC look economically sound and responsible.

        1. Not if your economics are based on 5-year plans.

        2. Its too easy to blame the ACA’s failures on uncooperative private health insurance companies. That’s how they’ll spin it.

          1. That, and the “fact” that free markets don’t work with health care. The argument has always been that we all need government to correct the multiple market failures in health care. Just a few more regulations, and they’ll get it right next time.

            1. The bad effects of government meddling count as “market failure”.

    4. This is not first, it might be #227.

    5. It very directly screwed me. I needed a car in the 1500$ range, ended up settling for a 2500 grandam i didnt really want, that proceeded to blow an engine 3 months later. And I was one of the poor people these douche bags act like they are all trying to help.

    6. It very directly screwed me. I needed a car in the 1500$ range, ended up settling for a 2500 grandam i didnt really want, that proceeded to blow an engine 3 months later. And I was one of the poor people these douche bags act like they are all trying to help.

    7. I’m not poor but prefer to buy cars under $10k. My vehicles usually only last 2-3 years before I get the itch to replace them again. It allows me to drive a wild variety of vehicles – downside is possible high repair costs which, luckily, haven’t materialized (too much).

      The idea of buying a new ~$30k car and taking that heavy depreciation hit just doesn’t make much sense to me. You have to be married to that vehicle for a decade or so for that to work out.

      I suppose I should be leasing instead.

      1. I suppose I should be leasing instead.

        Nah, you’re doing it right, as long as you hold onto the cars for at least a couple years.

        The idea of buying a new ~$30k car and taking that heavy depreciation hit just doesn’t make much sense to me. You have to be married to that vehicle for a decade or so for that to work out.

        My wife and I just both got new cars last year. Hers was a couple years old and mine was new. It probably wasn’t the best idea ever, but we needed two cars that weren’t breaking down every 5 minutes, at least until I got through law school. We’re “run them into the ground” car owners. My car was 15 years old when I sold it, and my wife’s car was 12 years old. We won’t hold onto these cars that long, but 10 or 11 years isn’t out of the question.

    8. If it can cheer you up it did create a few jobs here in Canada for used car parts salvaging. Well… at least it’s paying my friend’s mortgage. And sometimes I buy a drink and a beefstick from a gas station when we go shipping down in the U.S… So you see, that kid working as a cashier got his job all because of CfC, it’s a job creation program!

      Joking aside, I can’t think of any low-level job I could have held if I didn’t have a car in my 20s.

  2. North Korea has confirmed it just conducted its fifth successful nuclear warhead explosion test…

    How many Norks does that kind of thing feed?

    1. Maybe they use it to cut down the number of mouths to feed?

      “Great Leader, we have stuffed the test chamber with 15,000 prisoners!”

      “Very well…DETONATE!”

    2. According to the Keynesians, this is the sort of program that should work wonders for an economy.

      1. At both launch and target ends. Win-win!

    3. Madeline Albright raises a toast somewhere …

  3. Where have you gone, Fist of Etiquette?
    A commentariat turns its lonely eyes to you

    1. Prepackaged pasting doesn’t count. You know the rules. Fist still #1.

      1. But that’s not pre-packaged–it’s a home-cooked meal! Of course I have to start it before the guests come over.

        1. He’s got you with that, Swiss.

          1. Has to be in response to the links, and reference them.

            I don’t make the H&R rules, I just follow ’em!

            (you know who else just followed the rules?)

            1. Definitely not your mother

            2. Hillary?

              Oh, wait, you said followed.

      2. Rules are for the lessors.

        First is first.

      3. Yes but I always enjoy Cash for Clunkers references. On the Fridays they deny us a Funnies, it’s been an essential part of my replacement funnies.

        Firday Funnies

        Friday Funnies

        And the list goes on…

    2. + 1 “Woo woo woo”

      1. Zack Ryder, is that you?

  4. An Arizona woman who faked cancer to get the state to pay for her late-term abortion has been sentenced to prison.

    You have to fake cancer now? Planned Parenthood has really taken a turn.

    1. Exactly how does one go about faking cancer?

      1. Shave your head, set up a GoFundMe, and possibly fake a letter from your oncologist if required, judging from what others have done

        1. Well, yeah, I understand the “feel sorry for me” kind of fake. But to convince a doctor to perform an abortion on you, one would think you’d need something more than a kickstarter page.

          1. She either is a great forger or has an idiot for a doctor:

            In the abortion case, Zeitner was accused of presenting falsified medical records to support her claim that she had cancer in her abdomen and lower spine and telling an obstetrician that her pregnancy put her life in danger.

            The Arizona health care program in which Zeitner was enrolled covers the cost of abortions in limited circumstances, such as when a mother’s life is endangered.

            Investigators say the scheme was discovered a year after the April 2010 abortion when a doctor who performed a C-section during Zeitner’s subsequent pregnancy found no signs of cancer. Another doctor who was listed on medical records as having treated Zeitner for cancer later said he never treated her.

            1. How long before she’s knocked up in prison?

              Over/under 6 months

            2. Biggest question of the day. Who thinks that Doctor whose name she used actually made the false medical reports to her and is just denying it now because she got caught.

        2. Stop giving me ideas.

  5. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before…

    You know who else kept telling the same story over and over?

    1. Me, according to my wife?

      1. My friends started assigning numbers to my stories, to cut me short.

        1. They even created a google spreadsheet, but only gave me read access.

          1. Creating a spreadsheet to burn a friend is an Alpha Nerd move. I’m impressed.

            1. Alpha Nerd pretty much describes all my friends.

              1. Which makes you the Beta Nerd.

        2. You need better friends than JATNAS.

      1. Homer’s dad.

        1. NOT THAT HOMER… THE BLIND GREEK FELLA!

          1. THAT HOMER HAD A DAD, TOO!

          2. Oedipus? His girlfriend knows all about him already.

            1. These threads are getting to be like drunk arguments at Denny’s at 3 in the morning. They all end in “motherfucker!”

              1. Sounds good to me!

                *looks for whisky bottle to prepare for argument*

                1. Sounds good to me too, motherfucker!

    2. My scratched Lake Wobegon album?

    3. George Lucas?

    4. Stephen King?

      1. Whatever the answer is, it’s certainly not Hillary. Her stories change every day.

    5. My senile FiL?

    6. The Smiths?

    7. Corey Feldman, of course.

      I mean, duh!

  6. The Great Boor of the Galaxy

    As usual, Roddenberry rewrote it. “Then he brought it in,” Livingston says, “gave it to us in a bright orange cover, and there it is: In Thy Image, screenplay by Gene Roddenberry and Harold Livingston. He took first position. We all read it and I was appalled, and so was everyone else. We sat around looking at each other and somebody said, ‘Who’s going to tell him it’s a piece of s?t?'”

    The draft was marked November 7, 1977. Roddenberry’s opening scene: Kirk and a lady friend skinny-dipping. Starfleet hails. But Kirk is distracted when his girlfriend pulls him underwater. After a beat he surfaces, responds to the hail, and says, “I was attacked by an underwater creature.” There is more. The crew of the Enterprise is sent to investigate a mysterious probe heading towards Earth. In one scene, “shapely female yeomans check out the young and inexperienced Xon, straight out of the Academy and the new science officer, and ask him about pon farr,” or Vulcan puberty. Admiral Kirk tells another new member of the crew, the empathic Ilia from the planet Delta, “I know that Deltan females are not wanton, hairless whores.” At this Ilia laughs and says, “On my world, existence is loving, pleasuring, sharing, caring.” Kirk asks, “Have you ever sexed with a human?”

    1. Good thing they never saw SugarFree’s script…

      1. Kirk and Bones getting Uhura in a three-way?

        1. I’d hit it

    2. “Kiff, fetch me my used pair of tights!”

    3. That would have been better than V’Ger

  7. WaPo gonna WaPo.

    FTA: Imagine how history would judge today’s Americans if, looking back at this election, the record showed that voters empowered a dangerous man because of .?.?. a minor email scandal. There is no equivalence between Ms. Clinton’s wrongs and Mr. Trump’s manifest unfitness for office.

    Yeah, history would probably be surprised that our political class actually followed the rule of law rather than the rule of man. And it would probably be favorable.

    1. a minor email scandal

      WaPo will stick boot lick when we find out in October that the Russians were snooping on her email the whole time, and knew who was getting droned, when, where, etc.; perhaps even other serious information because the SoS is a member of the National Security Council.

      1. They’re desperately tying Trump to Russia for just this reason. When it turns out that Russia has the goods on her, the left can say “Trump has been colluding with Russian intelligence agencies to undermine our entire government.”

        Wait and see how they try to spin it when WikiLeaks drops a bombshell in the next couple weeks. The Trump-Russia Alliance conspiracy will start to become more commonly reported in the major media outlets/Clinton mouthpieces.

      2. Have we (specifically, the WP) already forgotten the reasonable charge that Hillary’s careless emails got somebody killed?!?!?

        1. Look, the contents of the emails and the effects of Hillary’s carelessness are not important, what’s important is TRUMP and RUSSIA.

    2. Minor, huh.

      Amazing. Bunch of sycophants.

    3. Actions speak louder than words?

    4. I don’t particularly like Trump, haven’t listened to any of his speeches, and will either vote Johnson or None of the Above, but holy fuck how do they square her actual record of horrible shit vs. the retarded crap that comes out of his mouth?

    5. “There is no equivalence between Ms. Clinton’s wrongs and Mr. Trump’s manifest unfitness for office.”

      Well that part at least is correct, where they are wrong is Hillary’s lawbreaking is MUCH worse than Trumps being a mornonic buffoon.

  8. A new German nationalist party is on the rise! Stop me if you’ve heard this one before…

    You know who else heard this one before…

    1. As long as they’re not National Socialists, I think it will be okay.

    2. Morrissey?

      1. +1 skinny jeans.

      2. + 1 writing frightening verse to a buck-toothed girl in Luxembourg

      3. I still love you Sloop, but only slightly less than I used to.

  9. At least 20 U.S. Marines may face punishment, including some who have already been fired…

    Fired, eh?

    1. What, like with a rifle or something?

      1. Wouldn’t the term be “dishonorably discharged”?

        1. +1 bukkake

          1. *narrows gaze*

            *tosses over a pair of safety goggles*

            1. +2 Nictitating membrane

            2. THE GOGGLES! THEY DO NOTHING!

  10. “At least 20 U.S. Marines may face punishment, including some who have already been fired, in conjunction with the hazing-related death of a Muslim Marine recruit.”

    You can “fire” a Marine???

    1. Dishonorable Discharge.

      1. It’s not a pretty thing. That’s how Chelsea was born.

        1. That’s a gleet comment, s.

          1. *slap!*

              1. *slap*

      2. Probably, more likely ‘Discharge under Other than Honorable Conditions’. Actual DDs involve actual criminal charges under Courts Martial.

        The guys who are gone already are probably the lesser offenders.

    2. Hazing a recruit to death is bad enough. Now we’re going to hear all about how awful white people are from other Muslim military personnel, culminating in a lecture from the president, some new military rules about walking on halal eggshells and eventually a (completely unrelated to Islam bout of) workplace violence.

      1. Probably not. The marines are still enough of a hallowed institution that I doubt either party or their media backers are willing to take it up so close to the election.

    3. I’m guessing they mean that they lost their billets.

    4. out of a cannon… into the sun…

    5. Why is ‘Muslim’ included in this story?

  11. Obese patients and smokers banned from routine surgery in ‘most severe ever’ rationing in the NHS

    Hospital leaders in North Yorkshire said that patients with a body mass index (BMI) of 30 or above ? as well as smokers ? will be barred from most surgery for up to a year amid increasingly desperate measures to plug a funding black hole. The restrictions will apply to standard hip and knee operations.

    The decision, described by the Royal College of Surgeons as the “most severe the modern NHS has ever seen”, led to warnings that other trusts will soon be forced to follow suit and rationing will become the norm if the current funding crisis continues.

    Chris Hopson, the head of NHS Providers, which represents acute care, ambulance and community services, said: “I think we are going to see more and more decisions like this.

    something something death panels

    1. patients with a body mass index (BMI) of 30 or above ? as well as smokers ? will be barred from most surgery for up to a year

      “A year”?! That’s outrageous!

      Ban ’em ’til they lose weight and quit smoking!

      1. It’s like they are trying to ban weightlifting.

      2. If they’re really sick they’ll lose weight without even trying

    2. BUT IT’S FREE OR SOMETHING I THINK

    3. Smokers?! Why not go straight to ‘coloreds’? Hey, choices have to be made.

      1. #blacklungsmatter

    4. I predicted this 10 years ago when State doctors in Europe got to decide infant euthanasia cases. The State isn’t wasting its resources on fatties and people whose organs are too cured to reuse.

    5. The broccoli mandate approaches.

      1. Just wait until Hillary packs the Supreme Court. Then you’re going to see some mandates.

        1. Genuinely scary thought, there. Like, for reelz.

    6. Cool, can they hurry the rationing horror show up. It won’t help the folks over there. You can rationalize anything if that’s how its always been (just look at Venezuela), but it’ll be much harder to convince folks over here to sign up if we’ve got a prime example of how bad it can get in another first world country.

      1. I’m pretty sure the people of the U.S. of A. will never hear about the rationing horror show.

        1. Not as a normal thing, but if they try to push single player it will come up in conservative articles and speeches. Should make it to the liberal side of the media in just an explanation of why it won’t happen here at the very least.

      2. People routinely imply to me that healthcare is the same all over, only in some places it’s free and in others it isn’t. In fact my friends and family in Denmark think health care is much worse in the US because it isn’t “free”.

        All that matters to most people in my experience is the cost at time of service. The life-time cost, or the quality of service doesn’t enter into the equation at all.

  12. Trunk and disorderly: The tree that has been chained up in Pakistan since 1898 when a drunk British officer had it ARRESTED because he thought it was moving

    A tree that was arrested by a drunk British officer more than 100 years ago has become a star attraction in Pakistan.

    The banyan tree is still tied down by chains in Peshawar having been arrested back in 1898 by James Squid, who was so inebriated he thought it was trying to run away from him.

    1. The banyan tree

      That tree’s gold, Jerry. Gold!

      1. Look at it, it’s huge!

      2. The fact that the first thought both you and I had about this story was Kenny Banya is evidence that some of us have truly drunken from the modest version of Mimir’s well I’d wisdom that is “Seinfeld”.

    2. Inebriated?

      He must have been high on mushrooms, not alcohol.

      1. Meh. I once got so drunk I punched a snowman in the face because he “made a move at me”.

        Jeez, that was one hell of a blizzard.

      2. Gin is one hell of a drug.

      3. Pakistan from +100 years ago?

        I’d guess opiated hashish.

        1. I would think that opiated hashish would turn you *into* a tree.

    3. “Move along, chop chop!”

      “Before you know it, the tree would branch out into other crimes.”

      “He should just leaf it alone.”

      1. The cop was barking orders.

        If it’s chained up, that might sap its strength.

      2. Wood you please stop.

        1. Do you have a chip on your shoulder?

      3. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say this subthread is sapping the life out of me.

        1. My thoughts and prayers are with yew.

      4. I just want to know how the record of that arrest was entered in the log book.

        1. “Riot Act was read and subject failed to disperse.”

      5. At the root of this sub-thread is a lack of sensible pun control

    4. It seems there are humorless SJWs in Pakistan, who could have guessed?

      “The bizarre attraction has become a hotspot for tourists to the disdain of some locals.

      “One resident blasted it, and told the Express Tribune: ‘Through this act, the British basically implied to the tribesmen that if they dared act against the Raj, they too would be punished in a similar fashion.'”

      1. General Sir Charles James Napier approves.

    5. Nice, this is how all local attractions should be.

  13. A new German nationalist party is on the rise! Stop me if you’ve heard this one before…

    You know who else oversaw the rise of a German nationalist party?

    1. Otto von Bismarck?

    2. Bismarck?

      1. Once was enough. Can we sink this response now?

        1. Too late. That ship has sailed.

    3. Otto Von Sanders?

      1. This joke’s got what I need

  14. Hate to break it to you, but that pic is of me in 1978 getting dressed after junior high P.E. Those whitey tighties aren’t so white anymore.

    1. I have an overly sweaty crotch, too!

      1. Sweat? Oh, my P.E. teacher was some guy named Sandusky. So, yeah, sweat.

        1. I now understand why you fled to live among the nips.

          1. Speaking of which, thanks all you racists that gave me advise and feedback on the parent teacher meeting I had today.

            1. So, how did it go?

              Over the school officials’ heads?

              1. The teacher didn’t make eye contact with me once. It was unbelievable. She muttered cliches about learning and whatever. 30 minutes and not once did she look at me. Just talked to my wife. When my daughter finally came in to the room and greeted us as she was looking down, I said in a loud voice, “Look at people, Hanako (not real name), when you’re talking to someone.” My wife’s face turned beet red.

  15. You know who else something white something red…

    Iowa Is So White It’s Turning Red

    “Race and education,” I said aloud as I stared at the screen.

    I was thinking of the fact that Iowa, once a classic blue-leaning battleground state (it went for Obama handily in 2008 and 2012), is moving toward the GOP and particularly Trump because of its high concentration of conservative white working-class voters and its small minority population. To put it another way, Democrats in both presidential and state elections have had to rely in Iowa (as in other Upper Midwestern states) on winning a relatively high percentage of the white vote. The “Obama Coalition” in its full glory just doesn’t exist there. And as Democratic support among white voters ? especially evangelicals, and especially non-college-educated people ? has gradually eroded, it has gradually made Iowa more hospitable to Republicans, who won a very big midterm victory in the state in 2014.

    1. Wait…so telling a state full of people that they are the focus of evil in the modern world won’t be a path to electoral success? Wow…

      1. Who are you who is so wise in the ways of world?

      2. I’ve lived in the States for a while, and this is about the worst I’ve seen in racial relations.

        1. That’s the best part of Obama’s tenure, all the racial healing.

        2. That is no shit Injun. I have never seen it this bad in my lifetime.

          1. I only remember it worse in the 60’s.

    2. This is why the Democrats want to import millions of poor immigrants and “refugees”.
      MOAR VOTEZ

    3. Do the Democrats ever wonder why white people are leaving their party? If they do, what are the odds they chalk it up to something other than “because whites are so racist” ? If they were to learn that their party was becoming increasingly hostile to white people, would they even care?

      1. As long as they win the most votes, they don’t really care about anything else. If they have to import an electorate more favorable to them, then by God that’s what they will do.

      2. For god’s sakes, let’s hope they don’t figure it out. They could become unstoppable.

    4. Iowa is moving towards Trump because white, union workers have been fucked by Obamacare and other “social justice” programs implemented by the Obama administration.

      1. I thought that the Cadillac tax was delayed until 2020 and it’s only the individuals buying insurance outside of their employer who are getting screwed

        1. My company killed their insurance plan three years ago in anticipation of the Cadillac tax. I assume the union contract was up for negotiation (about once every three years I think). The delay in the Cadillac tax came after the company killed the gold-plated plan the union had.

          Iowa has had a large influx of illegal immigrants working in meat processing plants at wages maybe half what the unions used to get.

          Blue collar whites in Iowa have seen very, very little growth in income and benefits over the last 7 years. I expect them to be fairly hostile to Clinton.

          The news reports are that Trump is doing very well with this demographic this year.

        2. The company I work for has already adjusted their plans based on the upcoming “Cadillac tax”. Now we just have a bunch of extremely high deductible plans. It’s fucking great, really fucking great.

        3. Rates are still going up for people, even outside of the actual “Obamacare” exchange.

      2. Unions provide reliable foot-soldiers for the Democrats, what with their already being organized and easily controlled and beholden to the state for their power, but the pubsec unions are growing while the private sector unions dwindle. Which means it’s fewer and fewer white blue-collar union members moving from the Dems to the GOP – and it means the GOP is attracting Dems. Which isn’t good news for anybody trying to push the GOP in a libertarian direction, away from the Dems.

        1. That does a lot to back up the notion that Trump is the future of the GOP – that it’s becoming a populist nationalist party a la the European right wing, rather than a conservative one.

          1. I can’t really argue, but goddamn is that depressing

            1. Depressing indeed.

              There won’t be anyone standing up for the principles of limited government. It’s going to be a free-for-all struggle for the distribution of stolen goods, with bitter divisions by race, class, and whatnot.

          2. I can’t really argue, but goddamn is that depressing

          3. a la the European right wing

            Except not right wing. If you look at most European nationalist parties being branded “extreme right-wing”, their platforms are solidly on the left. In fact if you left out the anti-immigrant part and showed their platform to a Bernie-bot, they would go all googley-eyed over it.

            The only reason they’ve been placed on the right is ideological in-fighting with the rest of the left, with the added benefit of being able to call the entire European right “racist”.

    5. And as Democratic support among white voters ? especially evangelicals, and especially non-college-educated people ? has gradually eroded, it has gradually made Iowa more hospitable to Republicans

      they seem desperate to remind people that the “white voters” fleeing the Dems are the “god-believing, work-with-their-hands”-types.

      When that’s only *slightly* true. they want to create the impression that the only white people who’ve fled Team Blue are the ‘dumb ones’. The reality is that the shift in demographic support is far wider and closer to the mean than the media would have you believe. Its far more a case of the Dems having increased their reliance on Urban progs and minorities rather than “losing the whites”.

  16. As the election nears, the GOP establishment is getting more dewy-eyed about Donald Trump.

    This would be the real danger to the party, if they turned from it just being about beating the leftist horde and more about rallying to a new standard.

  17. Outrage builds after San Antonio mattress company makes Twin Tower commercial

    The 20 second Miracle Mattress video opens with three people standing in front of two stacks of mattresses.

    The advertisement says mattresses will be on sale for the price of a twin mattress. Two men are then “thrown back” into the two stacks of mattresses, causing them to fall over.

    At the end of the video, the woman is then heard saying, “We will never forget.”

    1. That sounds kind of funny, actually.

    2. San Antonio mattress company

      Nice band name.

      1. Sounds kind of 1960s-ish. Like the “1910 Fruitgum Company”.

        1. Or “Chicago Transit Authority”.

          1. REO Speedwagon, FTW!

          2. Big Brother and the Holding Company

          3. Quicksilver Messenger Service & Atlanta Rhythm Section.

            Thanks, 70’s.

        2. I thought 60s-ish was to name the band after a non-existent person, like Pink Floyd or Jethro Tull.

          1. I thought Jethro Tull was an actual historical figure, no?

            1. Pink Floyd was named after two old-timey blues guys, Pink Anderson and Floyd Council.

              1. And Lynyrd Skynyrd was named after a PE teacher.

                But none of the 3 was in the band.

                1. Yup, some of the boys had a PE teacher named Leonard Skinner, who they liked to call Lynyrd Skynyrd.

                  1. The thing I never got about Skynyrd was, why did they write Sweet Home Alabama when they were all from Gainesville FL?

                    1. Sweet Home Florida sounds stupid?

                      Also! Four syllables probably work better in a 4/4 time rock song than 3 syllables.

                    2. Because Neil Young’s ‘Southern Man’ wasn’t referring to people from Gainesville.

                    3. Their recording studio was in Alabama (the line referencing Mussel Shoals), and it was a direct response to Neil Young’s “Southern Man”.

                    4. If anyone cares, Drive By Truckers did an entire rock opera about Skynyrd’s career including a song about just this. Actually, I think it was more a narrated intro, but yeah. Southern Rock Opera

    3. Too soon!

      1. The amusing part about this is that the store most likely didn’t do this. Coke and Pepsi have vendors that build all of these displays.

        1. “Coke and Pepsi have vendors that build all of these displays.”

          “All” displays?

          We don’t know that Walmart wasn’t the party who created the display. Either company could have equally come up with a stupid idea.

          1. If it was that big fancy display when you enter the store it’s almost certainly their local distributor doing it.

    4. Were we still so hung up on Pearl Harbor in 1956?

      1. too soon!

        (stole your joke)

      2. Were we still so hung up on Pearl Harbor such a bunch of knock-kneed, congenitally indignant pussies in 1956?

      3. No, because we had defeated the Japanese by 1945.

      4. In addition to the fact that we are becoming a nation of pussies, I think there are a couple reasons why many folks think 9/11 is an untouchable subject, compared to say Pearl Harbor 15 years later.
        Pearl Harbor was a military attack by uniformed forces of one nation, primarily on the single most important US military base in the Pacific. Granted, it was a surprise attack without a declaration of war first (though apparently, the Japanese did try to transmit a declaration through diplomatic channels just before the attack was to begin). And we obtained the unconditional surrender of the entire govt of the nation responsible for the attack. The war was over, we won completely.
        9/11 was perpetrated by non-uniformed combatants (unlawful combatants by all measures per the Geneva conventions), using civilian transports against primarily civilian targets (The Pentagon notwithstanding). Though we initially ousted the Taliban from power in Afghanistan, and did eventually find and kill Bin Laden, the same ideology flourishes in many countries still and the one physical country to point to Afghanistan is still essentially ruled by warlords.

        So to extend the analogy:
        We have done the equivalent of killing Admiral Yamamoto and installing a different dictator on Okinawa, while Japan is still arming and training forces all over Asia with the same imperial mindset.

      5. No & we sure as hell didn’t give up when the Germans bombed it!

        Fucking Nazis

      6. Were we still so hung up on Pearl Harbor in 1956?

        How many Pearl Harbor displays, ads or jokes do you hear now?

        We’re still hung up on Pearl Harbor in 2016.

    5. I had to laugh just because it’s such a monumentally stupid idea.

    6. They should have realized someone was going to get butthurt, but really, they are in San Antonio not New York. To put it bluntly basically no one in that city lost anyone to the world trade centers. National news needs to get over itself.

      1. Who’s in San Antonio?

        1. My wife’s annoying great aunt?

  18. Brie Larson Had to Apologize to Animal-Rights Activists for Petting a Dolphin Twelve Years Ago

    tress Brie Larson has been forced to apologize to angry Internet mob that was accusing her of supporting animal cruelty ? because she posted a picture of herself petting a dolphin in 2004. “I posted a photo previously that encapsulated a silly moment in my weird life,” Larson wrote in a caption of another photo, a close-up of her remorseful-looking face, posted right after the apparently offensive one

    I’ll never forgive her.

    1. For apologizing?

      The Internet Mob has a way of extracting apologies from people with pitchfork tweets and comments.

    2. Forced to apologize? Did this “angry Internet mob” point a gun through the intertubez?

      1. Umm, I guess I was a little late with this one.

      2. Hey, if teenagers can buy machine guns on the internet, then an “angry Internet mob” can point a gun through the intertubez.

    3. I don’t understand why the dolphins don’t either 1) develop methods for escaping captivity (think Escape From Alcatraz) or 2) rise up and kill their human masters.

      They’re fucking intelligent, you know.

      1. Dolphins are more intelligent than humans, from what I’ve heard. So the question you ought to be asking is just what those sneaky bastards are up to, pretending to allow humans to capture them and treat them like dumb animals. Obviously, the “captive” dolphins are undercover spies infiltrating human society – but what information are they gathering and for what purpose are they gathering it? It can’t be anything good if they’re still at it rather than coming out and admitting to us that they’ve been spying on us for their own protection but have now concluded that we pose no threat to them and they to us.

        1. +1 Thanks for all the fish.

      2. Free fish.

    4. Always suspected she was hiding some sinister act from her past. But, Jesus…THIS?!? God, Brie, what were you thinking?

  19. Russian River Runs Red

    A river in Russia has turned bright red, and pictures of the spectacle are circulating on social media.

    The Siberian Times reported on Sept. 7 that the Daldykan River near the city of Norilsk had turned the color of blood, with locals pointing fingers at the nearby Nadezhda Metallurgical Plant, owned by the company Norilsk Nickel. In fact, a broken pipeline at the plant may be the culprit, according to a statement from the Russian Ministry of Natural Resources. The company, however, has denied any accidental discharge of pollutants. The company did not respond to Live Science’s request for comment.

    You know who else turned Russian rivers red…

    1. Catherine the “Not Late”

      1. Guess I should’ve added, “after skinny dipping”.

    2. Bullet-ridden kulaks and wreckers?

    3. Moses says “Let my people go!”

    4. Kool Aid Man?

      Oh yeah!

    5. Aunty Flo?

    6. Andy Gibb?

  20. Geneva Convention?

    Bruce Springsteen again breaks record for longest US show

    Wednesday night’s concert at Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia lasted nearly four hours, four minutes, breaking the previous record for the group’s longest U.S. show set last week.

    Philadelphia Daily News sports statistician and Springsteen fan Bob Vetrone Jr. clocked the show at four hours, three minutes, 46 seconds.

    The band played four hours Aug. 30 at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey.

    The Boss’ longest show in the world was four hours, six minutes in Helsinki, Finland, in 2012.

    1. He was born to run, and run, and run…

    2. That just sounds like fucking torture to me.

      1. Yeah, I can tolerate one or two songs but holy crap.

        1. I have never understood our country’s infatuation with this guy.

          His lyrics are ok at best in a few songs, but the musical style is basically wimpy.

          But then again, with a VERY few exceptions, the 70s was a dark, dark time for American music. Especially compared to : AC/DC-Australia, Black Sabbath-UK, most of the New Wave of British Heavy Metal got hot in the early 80s, but started in the 70s (Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, even Def Leppard before they went kind of poppy). I know I am forgetting loads of stuff, but you get the point.

          1. There was a good article with the producer he was with before Landau (Greetings from Asbury through Born to Run) who basically said, Springsteen wanted to be the biggest rock star in the world, not just a weird jazz-rocker with six minute songs that were all over the place, so he narrowed his musical range way down. Guy was completely cool in the interview. No back-stabbing, just straight to the point. Not judging either one better or worse, just “Bruce wanted to be the biggest star in the world and this other producer wanted to make him the biggest star in the world, they were a good fit. His music had to be focused much more narrowly for that.”

    3. Dancing in the Dark came on as I started reading this.

      1. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

      2. This gun’s for hire

        /flexes and kisses bicep

  21. As the election nears, the GOP establishment is getting more dewy-eyed about Donald Trump.

    GOP insiders: Maybe Trump can win
    A growing number of Republicans think he can defeat Hillary Clinton. But they worry his campaign’s ground game is a disaster.

    GOP insiders: Our temper tantrum is finally over. Now where were we?

    1. If he does win, will he remember all those who doubted him? Will his memory, that is, be Sicilian long?

      1. You operate on Sicilian wavelengths don’t you, Rufus?

        1. I only calculate in Calabrese.

          1. You need to re-calabrese your calculator.

      2. It will be.

        My understanding is that Trump is very much of the Bourbon mold: learning nothing, forgetting nothing.

        1. He learned pretty quickly how to beat 16 professionals in a primary election and so far hold his own against a powerful political machine abetted by the media and the inner circle of his own party.

      3. My question is: will the GOP and the GOP voters remember who doubted him, who supported him and – most importantly – those who were careful enough not to give a clear answer as to whether or not they supported or opposed Trump but instead made sure to cover their ass by giving some mealy-mouthed bullshit “well, he’s our candidate so I support him but I disagree with the way he’s expressed some of his opinions but I’m sure he’ll get better at it” sort of answer. I’ve got far more respect for avid Trump supporters (even though I strongly disagree with them) than I do with the shitweasels who won’t take a stand on principle. And I don’t mean that they aren’t expresssing an opinion on their principles, I mean that’s their principle – never take a clear stand on anything. Those are the ones who most need purged from the party.

        1. Yup. Were I a power mad ideologue like Trump I’d be far more forgiving of my enemies who kissed the ring than those who tried to straddle the fence.

          1. How can you be an “ideologue” without a consistently identifiable ideology?

  22. In the least surprising news ever, Louisiana’s new “blue lives matter” hate-crime law is already being misused.

    You know what *really* matters?

      1. You spelled it wrong!

        1. Sure did..

  23. Hundreds miss seeing tallest structure ever demolished in UK being blown up – because they looked wrong way

    Thousands of people watched one of Britain’s tallest structures come crashing down in a huge spectacle today.

    But hundreds of others missed the incredible sight – all because they were looking the wrong way.

    The Grain power station chimney, which was taller than Canary Wharf , plummeted towards the ground at 11am today in a massive cloud of dust.

    But while numerous people lined the shores of Medway Estuary in Kent to watch the 801ft chimney be blown up, hundreds had their eyes trained on the not quite as gigantic structure Kingsnorth Power Station.

    1. “Bloody ‘ell!”

    2. Never understood the need to see things in person in an era of overabundant video feeds. Like, for example, a four hour Springsteen concert.

    3. What, you guys too good to post the link to the Hitler house article at the Mirror? Ok, I’ll do it.

      http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/u…..us-8790923

    4. Queue the lawsuits against the demolition company (or someone) for emotional distress & lost wages.

      “I bloody well took an hour off to watch me a demolition. Someone shoulda rightly told onlookers the direction in which to look!”

  24. Hauling Ohio’s shit?

    Michigan interstate crash covers three lanes in human waste

    A crash on a stretch of interstate in Michigan caused delays when it covered three lanes of the road in human waste.

    The Michigan Department of Transportation confirmed only one lane of northbound Interstate 75 remained open Wednesday afternoon in Vienna Township, northern Genesee County, after a U-Haul truck collided with a tanker truck hauling a load of human waste.

    Clio Area Assistant Fire Chief Kirk Todd said hazmat crews responded to the scene and used sand to soak up the waste into “solid” form that could then be removed from the road.

    1. “How was your day, Honey?”

    2. Wait, the tanker was hauling the ESPN archive on Jim Harbaugh? Good thing the other four tankers they needed got to Ann Arbor safely.

    3. U Mich was importing food for the cheerleaders.

      1. U of M has some of the ugliest female population that I’ve ever seen.

        Michigan State, on the other hand, used to be all yoga pants and Ugg boots on pretty girls (who kinda all looked the same).

    4. Human waste-

      So were Tony and AmSoc running back and forth over 3 lanes of traffic?

    5. “The plan worked!”

      -Ohio

    6. Ok, I RTFA.

      How does the article not mention WTF is a tanker truck doing hauling human waste?
      Where and how does one go about filling a tanker truck with human waste?
      Why is said waste being hauled anywhere? Where is it going?
      How can the author of this piece sleep at night?

      /Sleepless in Siam

      1. Ever hear of porta potties?

        Ever have a septic tank cleaned?

  25. 5,300 Wells Fargo employees fired over 2 million phony accounts

    On Thursday, federal regulators said Wells Fargo employees secretly created millions of unauthorized bank and credit card accounts — without their customers knowing it — since 2011.

    The phony accounts earned the bank unwarranted fees and allowed Wells Fargo employees to boost their sales figures and make more money.

    “Wells Fargo employees secretly opened unauthorized accounts to hit sales targets and receive bonuses,” Richard Cordray, director of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, said in a statement.

    Wells Fargo confirmed to CNNMoney that it had fired 5,300 employees over the last few years related to the shady behavior. Employees went so far as to create phony PIN numbers and fake email addresses to enroll customers in online banking services, the CFPB said.

    1. With all due respect, WTF *is* it with Wells Fargo?

      1. You get more of what you measure.

        That, and WF has never been high on ethics. IIRC they’re one of the biggest cocaine money launderers in the world.

        1. That must be how they weathered the financial crisis so much better than most other banks. There were no WF in the east until they got the insolvent remains of Wachovia.

    2. Wells Fargo confirmed to CNNMoney that it had fired 5,300 employees over the last few years related to the shady behavior.

      And this is why we so desperately need the CFPB – to issue press releases taking credit for uncovering and correcting a problem after Wells Fargo has already uncovered the problem and taken steps to correct it. Or is the CFPB going to claim that they knew about this all along and have been spending the last few years helping Wells Fargo keep the news from becoming public information?

      It’s amazing that you can spend billions of taxpayer dollars bailing out companies that did shit they shouldn’t be doing and expect them to learn any other lesson than that there’s no consequences for doing shit you shouldn’t be doing.

  26. A new German nationalist party is on the rise! Stop me if you’ve heard this one before…

    If anyone didn’t see this coming, they’re stupid.

    Merkel brought this on.

    1. Once upon a time, “nationalist” meant someone who wants to go and treat people in other nations like shit in their homelands. Now it means someone with the temerity to demand their nation not be treated as an afterthought in their own land (needless to say, the person must also be white, because I can guarantee you a Zimbabwean saying they want to limit white immigration will never be referred to as a “nationalist”).

      1. What Germany is seeing right now is nothing.

        Just wait another 20-30 years. If Islam doesn’t undergo some sort of religious reformation, Germany and the rest of Europe will be ablaze.

        1. If demographic trends are any indicator, it’s nowhere near as bad as it’s going to be. Each generation is more radical and more supportive of terrorism than the the previous generation. Islam has not yet reached peak barbarity.

        2. Anyone read the new-ish book “Submission” by French author Michael Houellebecq? Fictionalized account of a Muslim political takeover of France in the very near future, set in like 2022 or something. Interesting read.

          1. That book probably won’t help my sunny disposition towards Islam and it’s adherents.

            1. Not likely, but still worth the read. Actually, no one in the book comes off looking very good, the National Front, pensioners, cowardly academics (like the narrator). Its a good read.

          2. Has he been stabbed yet?

      2. Has anyone here heard of Bal Thackeray? He was a ethno-centrist in India who was annoyed at internal migration of people who spoke languages other than Marathi to Bombay.

        Europe will see lots of people like him. It’s happening just about everywhere on that continent.

      3. Excellent point. Similar to where you see the term “far right” used to describe conservatives on a daily basis, but NEVER see “far left” to describe an American politician.

  27. A new German nationalist party is on the rise! Stop me if you’ve heard this one before…

    Good for Germany and good for Europe. A political party whose platform advocates having a spine and maybe even a testicle or two in the ole pants.

    1. “Stiff Spine and the Testicles” are opening for AC/DC, I think.

      1. I saw Stiff and the boys in 2009 when they came to Atlanta. Stephen Hawking just goes nuts on the drum solo, doesn’t he?

    2. One can only hope the Germans can come up with some kind of a solution, once and for all, call it a ‘final solution’, if you will.

  28. “Europe’s high court ruled in favor of Playboy in a case challenging the right to post hyperlinks to copyrighted content without consent.”

    Europe is well ahead of us here, by requiring positive consent even for looking at naked pics!

    1. Not being able to post hyperlinks could be an existential threat to A/M & P/M Links. Oh the humanity!

    2. “Europe’s high court ruled in favor of Playboy in a case challenging the right to post hyperlinks to copyrighted content without consent”

      Is Playboy so IT challenged they can’t establish a paywall?

      What am I missing?

      1. GODDAMMIT!

        I didn’t bother clicking on the link to that story because I was stupid enough to just assume Playboy was the one suing for the right to hyperlink to other’s content and my initial reaction was “well, good for the Europeans finally catching up to the US on free speech issues”. Now I’m just depressed.

  29. Anxious Dems urge Clinton to open up

    They struggle to reconcile the charismatic, warm and funny woman they know in private with Clinton’s public persona, which can come across as stern, aloof or annoyed.

    Emphases added. In the Biblical sense?

    *** awaits comment from Teenage Girl ***

    1. Nah, this calls for Barfman!

    2. [vomits, vomits again]

    3. They struggle to reconcile the charismatic, warm and funny woman they know in private with Clinton’s public persona, which can come across as stern, aloof or annoyed.

      My god. These people really have no clue that they were in the presence of.

    4. Oh yeah, all the evidence indicates she’s charming.

    5. STEVE SMITH OPEN TO ANYONE WHO ASKS OR DOESNT ASK

      1. STEVE SMITH OPENS ANYONE WHO ASKS OR DOESN’T ASK!

    6. They really should not want Clinton to act “charming.” Staid, serious, even a little severe in the face of Trump’s buffoonery, sure. But Clinton’s charm is such a perverse put-on she’d turn off far more people than her current schtick does.

    7. the charismatic, warm and funny woman they know in private

      Long Shot: A bedroom with billowing lacy drapes. Camera pans toward the bed with Huma and Clinton, who are both naked in bed. A low breezy jazz song is playing in the background.

      Huma snuggles closer into Clinton, who has a faint smile breaking through her wrinkled face.

      Huma: Tell me, what’s so funny?

      Clinton: I was remembering a joke that I heard.

      Huma: *perks up* what is it?

      Clinton: Why is Hillary Clinton running for President?

      Huma: *looks puzzled* I don’t know. Tell me, my queen.

      Clinton: Because it’s easier than running from Law Enforcement.

      *Huma breaks out with forced laughter*

      Camera fades to black as the laughing continues.

      1. Huma snuggles closer into Clinton

        Huma’s head emerges from under the sheet, a pale pink goo oozing from her mouth…

        That’s how SF rolls.

        1. I just can’t roll into the gutter like that.

          *walks away whistling a happy tune*

          1. “I just can’t roll into the gutter like that.”

            You’re here, aren’t you?

    8. It’s easy to be charming when everyone is going out of their way to fawn over you and to paper over any misstep. Much harder on the campaign trail where some of the proles will fail to laugh on cue.

      1. People’s impression of “powerful/important people” is always colored by awe.

        they’re always 10X more impressive and interesting *in their minds* than to any neutral observer.

        I met Robert DeNiro once in a bar and had a beer with him for like 10 mins. I was accompanied by a British guy who (forgive him lord) had no idea who he was, and just politely stayed out of the conversation.

        Afterward, i was gushing about how impressed i was with the guy, of his “generosity” and his “introspection” (*we were discussing his late-career switch to comedy and how he’d always wanted to do more ‘goofball’ work)

        and the brit sort of shrugged and went, “I dunno. Seemed like a boring, anxious-to-please old man.” Which was true. The more i reflected on it, i realized he was just a normal guy and i wanted to take whatever characteristics and imbue them with ‘something special’, because i knew how talented he was. The reality is that he was not-very confident, nice to a fault, not very thoughtful or smart, but at least friendly.

        I still feel fondly. but i when remember how contrived my initial impression was, it forced me to acknowledge how much we really project onto others.

      2. I’ve heard tell that Hitler was charismatic.

        1. Millions found him charring.

          1. He was quite a gas.

  30. Records Show Obama Hired Behavioral Experts to Expand Use of Govt. Programs

    In 2015 Obama signed an executive order directing federal agencies to use behavioral science to sell their programs to the public, the records obtained by Judicial Watch reveal. By then the government had contracted “20 leading social and behavioral research experts” that at that point had already been involved in “more than 75 agency collaborations,” the records state. A memo sent from SBST chair Maya Shankar, a neuroscientist, to OSTP Director John Holdren offers agencies guidance and information about available government support for using behavioral insights to improve federal forms. Sent electronically, the memo is titled “Behavioral Science Insights and Federal Forms.”

    Holdren, a Stanford and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology graduate is a peculiar character who worked as an environmental professor at Harvard and the University of California Berkeley before becoming Obama’s science advisor. In the late 70s he co-authored a book with doomsayer Paul Ehrlich advocating for mandatory sterilization of the American people and forced abortions in order to depopulate the country. A head of the OSTP Holdren technically oversees the SBST.

    1. The behavioral expertise to control government is the ownership of guns by the public.

      Obama is going to hire behavioral experts to f*** with that.

    2. *** sniffs ***

      Is that Cass Sunstein?

    3. Bureaucratic empire building

    4. Shorter:

      Obama establishes new Goebbels Agency.

    5. I guess we are lucky that the social sciences are so bad at doing actual science do to their biases. Imagine how much damage hiring these guys could do if they had actual tried and tested theories of behavior modification to work with.

  31. State rushed Clinton documents to Dems but withheld from Republicans

    During a hearing about the agency’s handling of Freedom of Information Act requests, Meadows questioned why the State Department handed over an email chain between Colin Powell and Clinton just five days after Rep. Elijah Cummings, the committee’s top Democrat, and seven other minority members asked for it while ignoring a FOIA request for that same email since 2014.

    “We try to the best of our ability to respond to committees of Congress,” said Patrick Kennedy, undersecretary for management at the State Department, in defense of his agency’s treatment of records requests.

    “It is with unbelievable speed when it fits the narrative that you want to do,” Meadows argued.

    1. Yeah, shame I don’t see a real way to fix this. There isn’t a bureaucratic solution to stopping bureaucracies from covering their own asses. About all you can do is put a boss in charge of them that will fire everyone that’s trying to protect themselves.

    1. +1 ain’t she a beauty

    2. That box jelly fish sting looks like it was done by Keith Haring.

    3. A sting from the Irukandji jelly fish can make the victim feel a sense of impending doom

      A link from ifh has a similar effect…

    4. I get the macabre feeling he ain’t gonna be around much longer.

      1. Eh, if Dr. Streng, assisted by his wife can survive multiple fluorine compound investigations, people can live through anything.

    5. Four – Jack Jumper ant
      Fry puts the Jack Jumper ant at number four and described the pain as being stung by 200 bees at the same time.
      He then admitted he was stung on his left nipple which is a very sensitive area.
      These ants are commonly found in Tasmania.

      I was bitten by Jack Jumpers many times. They were all over the place in Tassie.

      Nasty little bastards and, yes, very painful, but I don’t recall the bites being as bad as this guy does. But, then, I was never bitten on a nipple.

  32. This story is very relevant for many of us commenters: Nearly 800,000 Brazzers Porn Site Accounts Exposed in Forum Hack

    I assume their forum is full of people whining about Brazzers’ content.

    1. +1 tear-filled masturbation euphemism

    2. Wow, they have forums?

      1. “Why won’t Brazzers make this!!!!”

        1. So someone is going to poison them with SF’s slashfic, right?

    3. They should be embarrassed, Brazzers is wall to wall with cheap women, with cheap make up, with cheap high heels squawking cheap screams. It’s the most mundane mass produced pornography ever made.

      1. or so I’ve heard…

  33. Facebook slammed for censoring iconic Vietnam War photo

    “You create rules that don’t distinguish between child pornography and famous war photographs,” Hansen wrote to Zuckerberg. “Then you practice these rules without allowing space for good judgment.”

    Facebook said it recognizes that the photo is iconic, but stressed that it’s “difficult to create a distinction between allowing a photograph of a nude child in one instance and not others.”

    “We try to find the right balance between enabling people to express themselves while maintaining a safe and respectful experience for our global community,” the company said. “Our solutions won’t always be perfect, but we will continue to try to improve our policies and the ways in which we apply them.”

    1. Fuck Facebook.

    2. Nudity is not the same thing as pornography. Though obviously there’s no accounting for what people will fap to.

      1. I know it when I see it!

        And, believe me, I’ve been looking.

    1. *pew pew*

    1. She pulled a female version of Weiner’s pic with his toddler?

      1. What? No dude, she took pictures of her naked children and sent them to this guy so he could jack off over them.

        1. Holy sh__

          I didn’t read the article obviously. What filth and a burden to the planet.

        2. Well, I think Subway has found itself a new pitchman.

          1. Language Police Alert!

            Pitchwoman

            or

            Pitchperson

            1. Pitcher or catcher?

            2. Um, excuse me but its actually.

              Pitchzir

              or

              Pitchze

              You need to update your goodthink dictionary.

        3. Now you’ve lit the OMWC signal for sure.

    2. If they taught Lolita in schools, she’d know this ends with her murdered by that guy.

    1. you know who else dressed as Hitler?

      1. I know this one: Bismarck?

      2. Bruno Ganz?

      3. Charlie Chaplin?

      4. Every Hugo Boss model ever.

        1. Nah, he only designed the SS uniforms, which Hitler never wore. Now, if the kid had dressed like *Himmler*, then you’d be on to something.

      5. Alfred E Neuman?

      6. Eric Cartman?

      7. David Bowie?

    2. So which book was this? My daughter has a similar contest every year at her school, but she’s in the second grade. Can’t think of too many kids books with Hitler in them.

        1. Kid nap him and raise him as a Jew.

        2. Reason.com don’t play no rickroll shit.

      1. There’s a kids book series called “I Survived” that has a Nazi invasion volume, but I don’t think Hitler himself makes an appearance. My son loves those books.

      2. Probably not anything by Leon Uris, I’d imagine.

    3. We are providing support and assistance to the teacher, the student, and their family.

      I’m sure “we” are! It’s probably the law!

    4. “Don’t mention the war!”

      1. Basil: You started it!

        German guest: No vee didn’t!

        Basil: Yes you did, you invaded Poland!

    5. Having Jewish connections in my family, I can understand some level of emotional reaction. And certainly if the kid came to school acting like Hitler and doing obnoxious things to those students, then the kid is an asshole.
      But, he was an historical figure of great import. What about Genghis Khan? Or from the 20th century Stalin, Mao, Castro? Is Mussolini ok?

      Obviously, there is a certain sense of evil that we uniquely associate with Hitler and the Nazis. But are we to simply say he is off limits?

      1. there’s a bit of the hardcore history podcast that covers this exact question. One of the earth of the kahns episodes.

        1. Earth = wrath

  34. Justice Dept. Granted Immunity to Specialist Who Deleted Hillary Clinton’s Emails:

    WASHINGTON ? A computer specialist who deleted Hillary Clinton’s emails despite orders from Congress to preserve them was given immunity by the Justice Department during its investigation into her personal email account, according to a law enforcement official and others briefed on the investigation.

    Republicans have called for the department to investigate the deletions, but the immunity deal with the specialist, Paul Combetta, makes it unlikely that the request will go far. Representative Jason Chaffetz of Utah, the top Republican on the House oversight committee, asked the Justice Department on Tuesday to investigate whether Mrs. Clinton, her lawyers or the specialist obstructed justice when the emails were deleted in March 2015.

    You really can’t make this shit up.

    1. “As the F.B.I.’s report notes,” Mr. Fallon said, “neither Hillary Clinton nor her attorneys had knowledge of the Platte River Network employee’s actions. It appears he acted on his own and against guidance given by both Clinton’s and Platte River’s attorneys to retain all data in compliance with a congressional preservation request.”……………….

      According to the F.B.I. documents, Mr. Combetta told the bureau in February that he did not recall deleting the emails. But in May, he told a different story.

      In the days after Mrs. Clinton’s staffers called Platte River Networks in March 2015, Mr. Combetta said realized that he had not followed a December 2014 order from Mrs. Clinton’s lawyers to have the emails deleted. Mr. Combetta then used a program called BleachBit to delete the messages, the bureau said.

      In Mr. Combetta’s first interview with the F.B.I. in February, he said he did not recall seeing the preservation order from the Benghazi committee, which Mrs. Clinton’s lawyer, Cheryl D. Mills, had sent to Platte River. But in his May interview, he said that at the time he made the deletions “he was aware of the existence of the preservation request and the fact that it meant he should not disturb Clinton’s email data” on the Platte River server.

      1. I don’t know what the better part of email story is the fact that everybody involved in this covered their ass by saying they were each others lawyers and any in all info related to the server was attorney client privileged or the fact that the one guy that at the very least should have been jailed was protected by a deal he struck with the DOJ.

      2. It appears he acted on his own and against guidance given by both Clinton’s and Platte River’s attorneys to retain all data in compliance with a congressional preservation request.”.

        Oh, give me a fucking break, that is just beyond absurd to believe this employee decided to act all on his own and against the express instructions of his clients.

      3. Just to be clear, the lawyers took no action to secure evidence under subpoena?

    2. You don’t hand out immunity without a clause that it’s only in case of successful charges. You tie his deal to her going to jail. Otherwise he’s got to pay for his crimes.

  35. I posted this in one of the Aleppo/Johnson articles

    Johnson should move on to another issue and force the media to cover him.

    I observe that Arizona is fighting the federal government about wolves. Specifically, the feds want to release gray wolves into the wilds of Arizona while the Arizona government, prompted by ranchers worried about predators killing their livestock, said “no.”

    What Johnson needs is a photo op where he goes and shoots himself some wolves, maybe legally, maybe illegally, but in any case the media won’t be able to help itself.

    Their stories will be all “big meanie candidate shoots endangered wolves, Farley Mowat cries.” They can’t help themselves, they *must* publicize stories about cute little animal-wanimals.

    Meanwhile, ranchers in Utah and Arizona will be like, “hey, this guy is all right.”

    This would actually be the best chance to take Utah and Arizona and maybe (if the country is sufficiently divided) putting the election into the House.

    Heck, I’m just brainstorming.

    1. If Trump and Clinton are any example, he should repeatedly lie and say outrageous things and his polls will soar.

    2. Oh great. You want to make a Triumvirate of animals?

      That’s all we need. Cecil the Lion, Harambe and Willy the Wolf.

      1. We’re overdue for a backlash.

      2. You’d be surprised what Wolfgang can do with his willy

  36. If you thought free college was going to be enough to sate them….

    Even if college is “free,” many marginalized students pay for attendance with their mental and emotional wellbeing. We will always be asked to sacrifice something. We will always end up losing something. Always. The system is not made for us to win.

    Hillary Clinton wants to make college free for low-income students. But, as long as colleges and universities continue to gentrify the communities around them, to underreport and downplay campus sexual assault, and treat diversity as a quota to fill and not a mission to guide their work, making college free won’t fix my problems. While students continue to organize and mobilize around racism, classism, and sexism in the classrooms, schools continue to marginalize students by ignoring their racist, heteronormative, settler-colonial histories and practices. These are real problems that unfortunately, free tuition cannot fix.

    1. That was a ton of lack of brain-ism in one paragraph.

    2. She’s right. Colleges should avoid gentrifying neighborhood by letting the buildings crumble to shit and encouraging the students to commit some street crimes.

    3. These are real problems…

      Assumes facts not in evidence.

    4. The system is not made for us to win.

      Might as well just give up and off yourself.

    5. Why would anyone want to send their sons and daughters to rapeland?

      1. “American Universities are hotbeds of rape, misogyny, shitlordism, racism and hate…. that everyone should have the right to attend for free!”

    6. Even if free – no one is forcing her to go. It doesn’t see like she’d like it there, so perhaps she shouldn’t go. In fact, I doubt she would enjoy her existence anywhere, so it’s probably best that she shot herself.

    7. Why are left-wing institutions so full of sexism and racism?

      1. Um…because racism and sexism are based in hubris and self-righteousness?

    8. Makes me wonder why the cupcakes are so determined to attend these racist, classist, sexist rape factories.

  37. Good to see that the pussification of the Marines continues at a brisk pace. Boot camp IS hazing, for crissakes. That’s 90% of the purpose of it. If you can’t handle someone screaming in your face and smacking you around a bit, how in the hell are you going to handle combat?

    1. Well, you’d first have to accept that hazing has some potential positive value. Like shared experience of such things form a bond. But we can’t have any positives associated with the word, or people might think that the type and amount of hazing might be more important than embarrassing, frightening, and/or painful shared experience building a special camaraderie.

      1. Esprit de corps is part of it, but a big part of it is getting a recruit to adapt to functioning under extreme stress. That’s why there’s a theatrical amount of screaming about literally everything. On the first day after pickup, the DIs have you get on line and dump all of your shit out in front of you for what is allegedly an inventory. They then yell out an item, and you have to pick it up and hold it in front of you. This is repeated over and over, and the entire time they are running up and down the middle of the squad bay getting in recruits’ faces because they’re not holding it high enough, or finding it fast enough, or whatever bullshit they can think of. The inventory isn’t the point of it all, the point is so you realize how even something as menial as picking things up and holding them in front of you becomes harder when you’re incredibly stressed and frightened.

  38. Man Bites Dogs Story: Yesterday I dropped my wife, who freaks out when flying at the airport. She grabbed my cellphone and her cellphone and went in. I realized as soon as I drove off that either she had my phone or it was at the curb. Make the airport loop, no phone. Skycap lets me use his to call her, no answer. Traffic cop comes over, hears my story, sends me over to the lost and found, but calls ahead so they don’t run me off. Lady cop there says I can leave my two kids in the car and she’ll watch them as long as the AC is running. No phone. Drive all the way home, see text from wife saying TSA has my phone. Go back to airport. Can’t get to security at TPA because you have to have a boarding pass to ride the tram to security. American Airlines lady rides over for me, brings back a TSA guy who has my phone, my name, and my description from my wife. Looks at my ID, hands me my phone. It was so totally foreign to me, that I was in shock. Seriously, not one person was a dick. It was like bizarro world airport.

    1. Shit, I kept waiting for the nut-punch.

      1. Me, too. At every step, I thought, “this is where some dude who doesn’t give a fuck is going to tell me tough shit, you’ll have to come back tomorrow and talk to the lost and found people, or that I need some bullshit form, or that I have to go to park and wrangle the kiddos.”

      2. Did they shoot the dog? Please tell me at the very least they shot the dog.

        1. Nope. They didn’t even sic the dog on my kids.

        2. Who bit the dog?
          What man bit the dog?
          I don’t know.
          THIRD BASE!

    2. Tampa international goes out of its way to make sure no one is a dick even the FED employees. I don’t know how they do it but stakes are high when you’re trying to get millions of tourists to the beach. Them margaritas ain’t gonna sell themselves.

      1. There are retired mobsters in Tampa, aren’t there? Break a few TSA supervisors’ kneecaps, and the rest of the system will fall in line. due to fear…. “fear of this battlestation!”

        1. Nice airport you have here. Be a shame if something happened to it…

  39. Purple-haired sack of sh1t who works as an indoctrinator at a college:

    History professor rips down campus 9/11 ‘Never Forget’ posters (VIDEO)

    The actions of Lovett, who in 2001 endorsed a statement blaming U.S. imperialism for the 9/11 attacks, came after campus leaders used bureaucratic red tape to try to shut down the conservative students’ previously approved Sept. 11 memorial.

    1. Margot Lovett joined the faculty of Saddleback College in 1997. A social historian by training, her academic area of specialization is African History. Her research has focused on 20th century gender and labor history in an area of present-day western Tanzania. She is particularly interested in understanding how individuals in a colonial situation negotiate relations of power that cut across lines of gender, class, and generation.

      Professor Lovett currently is the Chair of the History Department. She also teaches classes in the Honors Program and in the Women’s and Gender Studies department.

      Universities truly are refuges for the otherwise useless.

      1. Modern day monasteries.

        1. At least the old medieval monasteries preserved some actual useful knowledge.

          1. And the monks knew how to make good beer.

      2. Universities truly are refuges for the other.ise useless.

        Subsidized by money stolen from us.

        Seriously, if not for the systematic, institutionalized mugging and redistribution, this woman would have been a barista.

        1. I don’t think she is qualified to work with customers.

      3. She is literally the chair.

        1. I thought “feminist” women didn’t like to be objectified. But here she is… a chair.

      4. If it makes you feel any better, it’s a community college.

        1. No, because tax money still supports that shit.

          1. And if “Dr.” Jill Biden would have her way, there would be a lot more community colleges subsidizing hags like this history “professor”.

  40. Read it for yourself…

    “How could I be offended by that?”

    That’s the question that ran through my mind when a friend of a friend said “when you see me, you’ll get wet” when we first met over the phone.

    After all, I’m not shy about my vaginal lubrication. I see it as just another bodily function, like sweating or crying.

    But it was as if he wanted that comment to make me uncomfortable ? and that made me feel objectified.

    1. So where’s the line between expanding what’s acceptable to talk about and violating someone’s boundaries? When is saying “TMI” just a way to police people’s sexual expression, and when is it a legitimate way of voicing that your boundaries have been disregarded?

      I can’t tell you where exactly the line is, but I can tell when people have crossed it. And I also know what it’s like when you haven’t crossed it, but you’re just being sex-shamed.

      It’s so simple!

      1. One key difference between a purely sex-positive conversation and one that’s actually violating is that the former is open-ended, while the latter is using the other person as a means to an end.

        And if you’re a sex-positive person who has been treated inappropriately, know that it’s not you. You’re not sending mixed signals, and you’re not asking for it by being open about sex.

        The people who have made you uncomfortable are to blame for taking your openness as permission to hurl any and all things sexual at you.

        And you have the right to be offended.

        It’s impressive she used that many words to come to this meaningless conclusion.

        1. I’m gonna wave my junk in your face, but don’t you dare take that as an indicator that I’m open for anything unless, of course, I am. But if you think I am then I’m not and if you don’t think I am, well then, you’re not paying enough attention.

    2. I see it as just another bodily function, like sweating or crying.

      “In fact, i’m doing all three as i type this.”

    3. Author bio:

      Suzannah Weiss is a Contributing Writer for Everyday Feminism an insufferable self-absorbed first-world overprivileged pampered moron.

  41. Moonbeam is long unicorn farts:

    “Gov. Brown orders big greenhouse gas cuts”
    […]
    “Gov. Jerry Brown on Thursday signed the nation’s toughest climate law, requiring California to slash its greenhouse gas emissions 40 percent below 1990 levels by 2030 while leaving open the question of exactly how to do it.”
    http://www.sfgate.com/science/…..211316.php

    Yeah, you could say that…

    1. The Derp.

      “Here we are, 10 years later, emissions have gone down and the economy has gone up,” said state Sen. Fran Pavley, D-Agoura Hills (Los Angeles County), who wrote AB32 as well as the new law, SB32. “It’s a success story.”

      Is this clown trying to tie the bill to economy going up?

      So when they say 1990 levels…is this per capita or overall?

      1. “So when they say 1990 levels…is this per capita or overall?”
        I’m betting you’d have a REAL hard time getting that or the ‘reduced’ numbers anywhere close to that specifcity. Probably wonderous enough to make a tax attorney green with envy.

    2. Like King Canut ordering the ocean to recede. Except Canute was making a point while Brown is actually serious.

    3. So what year does “40 percent below 1990 levels” correspond to? Assuming emissions probably peaked before 1990 and were already on their way down, can we say that he wants to send the state’s economy back to around 1920 or so? And if so, why didn’t he phrase it like that?

    4. It’s easy. Just steal underpants.

  42. So I don’t know if this has been mentioned, but I’d like to throw it out there. Until now, most major media outlets have largely ignored Gary Johnson save for a few notables such as the Chicago Tribune editorializing in his favor. The other day I happened to read some story which mentioned that Johnson is drawing more support from potential Clinton voters than those that might otherwise pull the lever for Trump, and suddenly the same media starts freaking the fuck out about Johnson’s ignorance of a city in a country that probably some 93.7% of Americans couldn’t even identify on a map. We went from an insignificant campaign of a fringe third party candidate to OMG GARY JOHNSON IS TOTALLY UNFIT FOR THE PRESIDENCY AND WE ALL NEED TO DO OUR PART TO STOP HIM RIGHT NOW!!!!!!11!!!1! Some coincidence, that.

    1. It’s just like a wise man once said: “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then they win.”

    2. It’s pretty damn obvious. After all, Barnicle’s question was intentionally formulated as a “gotcha”, otherwise he would have simply asked Johnson how he intended to address the Syrian crisis, rather than vaguely ask about a city in Syria with no other context.

      1. It was a gotcha.

        Johnson is not politically sophisticated. I posted this before, but if Weld was in his place and didn’t know, he would have gotten the questioner to elaborate and reveal what exactly Aleppo was.

        1. Aleppo?

          Stop mumbling. I thought you said Alpo!

      2. Nonetheless, I don’t think Johnson takes himself seriously as a candidate. I was joking yesterday when I said he’s in it for the libertarian groupies, but I wasn’t joking all that much.

    3. The same way Julian Assange went from hero to traitor when Wikileaks started releasing Hillary content.

  43. Leprosy hits California: Primary school kids ‘struck down with Biblical flesh-rotting skin disease’

    Parents have now refused to send their children to Indian Hills Elementary in Jurupa Valley after notes were sent home warning parents that two students “might” be sick with leprosy.

  44. Goddammit, Gary. Just shut, up. My lord, how did he manage to make himself look worse?

    1. It’s abundantly clear that the man is as dumb as a post. Who the heck was his opponent in New Mexico anyway?

      1. Ironically, it was Al Epo.

      2. I don’t think he’s dumb. He’s politically unsophisticated.

        He wouldn’t have gone from handyman to multimillionaire if he was dumb.

        1. Except the rationale for the Libertarian Party nominating was his experience as an officeholder. To say he is unsophisticated is to say that he was hired under false assumptions about his skill set.

  45. I’m making $86 an hour working from home. I was shocked when my neighbour told me she was averaging $95 but I see how it works now. I feel so much freedom now that I’m my own boss. This is what I do,

    ?? ? ? ? http://www.review40.com

  46. Would you pay $500 to have a so-called “conversation” with Chelsea Clinton?

    If you answered “yes”…….. I’m afraid there’s absolutely nothing anyone in the world can do to help you.

    1. I might. She dated a smarmy asshole in college who went to school with me. I might spend $500 to ask her whether he was as big a douche to her as he was to everyone else who knew him.

      Seriously, when we found out he was going to the same school as Chelsea Clinton, one of my friends joked he’d probably try to date her because he had such a high opinion of himself. Come the fall semester, she was right.

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