CNN Explains How Clinton Could Win, Gary Johnson Getting Little Network News Coverage, Jill Stein Faces Vandalism Charges: P.M. Links

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  • Karen Smith Murphy/flickr

    CNN explains how Hillary Clinton could win. Donald Trump calls for a military build-up. Gary Johnson gets very little coverage from the major news networks. Jill Stein will face vandalism charges after allegedly spray painting construction equipment during a protest against the Dakota Access Pipeline.

  • A jury in Texas awarded $5.4 million to a cleaning company it found had been maligned by the Service Employees International Union.
  • Turkey President Recep Erdogan says his country and the United States are ready to launch an offensive on Raqqa, the capital of the Islamic State.
  • A Russian fighter jet buzzed a U.S. Navy plane over the Black Sea.
  • The ruling party in Zimbabwe is withholding government food aid from supporters of the opposition.
  • Navajo WW2 code talker Joe Hosteen Kellwood is dead at age 95.

NEXT: Honestly, the Only Way To Avoid Saying Microagressions Is To STFU Already

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  1. CNN explains how Hillary Clinton could win.

    COUGH rigged COUGH

    1. A serious health condition is no laughing matter.

      1. *link to video of Hillary laughing, only I didn’t care enough to find one*

        1. arf arf

        2. I thought the Hague required all such footage to be destroyed.

        3. Hillary is indeed capable of a genuine laugh. See, for example, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fgcd1ghag5Y.

    2. Kindly turn your head when you cough.

    3. Hello.

    4. “Cough this way”

    5. Looks like the media finally got around to noticing that Hillary had her emails deleted while her server was under subpoena.

      1. The headline is “House oversight chair asks for new investigation of deleted Clinton emails.”

        The Republican Congress is investigating Hillary again!

        I would be more impressed if the headline left out the Republicans and said something like “Hillary Clinton deleted more emails than she admitted” [or whatever the revelation du jour is]

        1. It’s WaPo, take what you can get.

        2. “Hillary deleted emails obstructed justice”

  2. Gary Johnson gets very little coverage from the major news networks.

    We’ve left the 3rd party infatuation phase and entered the taking sides phase.

    1. “… and entered the taking side phase” FTFY

    2. It amazes me that we are “amazed” he isnt getting major media coverage. He is the LP candidate for pres. He has gotten more coverage in 2 months than all the LP Pres candidates in history combined exponent 10. Seriously, if you have been fighting in the trenches for 16 years like I have this is an UNPRECEDENTED level of support shown for a Libertarian. HELL, I can easily remember back in the day circa 2009, when the word Libertarian wasn’t even spoken on air. I was told by a radio host that I could come on (to talk local politics) but I couldn’t say the word Libertarian…NO SHIT. (Dude is a douche anyway who had few listeners). I am constantly in awe of how much coverage Libertarians are getting these days. FOR FUCKS SAKE, WE DON’T NEED TO PETITION ON THE BALLOT IN 30 STATES!!!! That alone is stunning.

      1. More coverage than in 1980? Didnt they buy blocks of network time?

        1. buying blocks with Kochtopus money not equal coverage.

          Definition of “major news network coverage” – see Trump, Donald.

        2. I could be wrong, but I don’t remember seeing a single TV ad for Clark in 1980. I think I would remember, because I was a brand new libertarian, and enthusiastic enough that I used a stencil to make my own bumpersticker. I also recall that the Koch (the VP) money was a bit over a million dollars. Not exactly a gusher, even in 1980.

          Like I say, my memory ain’t the best so if someone wants to correct me, please do. But, in short, heartily agree with Cliche Bandit’s sentiments.

      2. And Lily in the Club 20 Debates is going to be YUUUGE. She just got the on air endorsement of Ross Kaminsky (local major market talk radio host) this morning. A Libertarian, endorsed by the probably 1st or 2nd share talk show host in Denver, live, on air. NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE (exception being Uncle Nasty used to endorse our candidates but he was FM Rock DJ).

        1. Hail Nasty!

  3. The ruling party in Zimbabwe is withholding government food aid from supporters of the opposition.

    Why do they need food?

    They can always eat sh1t and die!

    1. Ethiopia did this too during the mid-80s famine.

      1. That is the source of all famines.

  4. Jill Stein will face vandalism charges after allegedly spray painting construction equipment during a protest against the Dakota Access Pipeline.

    What did she spray? “Pay attention to me please”?

    1. Bulldozers don’t work if there’s spray paint on them.

      You must be a white collar 1%er.

    2. What did she spray?

      “I’m a medical doctor who thinks there’s a link between vaccines and autism. Now vote for me!!”

      1. That nothing: she’s also concerned about the link between wifi radiation and childhood development abnormalities.

        1. I am a physician and she scares the crap out of me.

          1. I’m not a doctor, not do I play one on TV.

  5. Mutant Pig With Human Face and Penis on Forehead Found in China

    A disturbing footage of a mutant pig born in China with human face and penis on its forehead has circulated and been widely shared on Chinese social media.
    ??

    Witnesses had described the pig to have a face that resembled human and penis on its forehead. The little piglet was the last to be born in a litter of 19.

    Its owner Tao Lu said, “It was a large litter, and the mutant was one of the last of 19 piglets to be born.

    “All the others were normal, just this one was really bizarre.

    1. Longtorso Johnny clone?

      1. Does the pig show an inordinate fondness for body pillows?

        1. It’s really into anime. Sometimes it dresses up as Sailor Moon and calls itself “Suki.”

        2. The pig passed out on the couch at the frat house.

    2. “If that pig say anything, it a liar!!!”

      1. “riar”, prease.

    3. Sometimes evolution just doesn’t give any fucks.

    4. Does the face penis work? Asking for a friend.

      1. Hey fuckface!

      2. [Catches Playa sticking truffles up his butt]

    5. Manbearpig’s cousin?

    6. Huh, I wonder if that answer’s Andrew Mendoza’s question.

      Rest in peace, Mr. Mendoza. Someone else will have to push forward the boundaries of inter-species reproduction in your absence.

      1. That’s a Mendoza line no one should cross.

    7. I can’t wait to see what kind of traditional medicine they grind it up into.

      1. I’m not sure how traditional it would be.

        Not a lot of forehead penis going around.

        1. Regardless, i’m sure mtrueman will come around to tell us how it’s at least as efficacious as Western medicine.

          1. No, no, no. They once published a pamphlet that had an instruction that wasn’t complete quackery. This invalidated every bad thing they had ever done.

            1. That’s certainly worth nearly a hundred million dead in the Great Leap Forward. Carry on, Red China!

        2. So that pig is really….

          [dons shades]

          …a dickhead!

      2. Andrew Zimmer is licking his chops

    8. Global warming again. Sheesh. When will we learn.

    9. Why do these things always seem to happen in the Orient?

      1. “These things”?

        Are you referring to the internet dog rapist?

  6. EnviroNazis on the march…

    “To Fight Climate Change Attorney General Eric Schneiderman Deputizes Thought Police”

    http://www.jeffstier.org/19184…..neral-eric

    1. He’s going after Mylan too….

      1. I thought Ed did the links today.

      2. Not Rico. It’s yet another democratic politician falling foul of the Anti Ku Klux Klan act.

    2. Like this douche gives a shit about the environment.

    3. Someone should do doughnuts on Schneiderman’s front lawn in a Hummer H1.

      Or whichever gas guzzler gives you the lowest mpg.

      1. H1s don’t do doughnuts very well.

        A Charger Hellcat would be awesome, though!

  7. CNN explains how Hillary Clinton could win. Donald Trump calls for a military build-up. Gary Johnson gets very little coverage from the major news networks. Jill Stein will face vandalism charges after allegedly spray painting construction equipment during a protest against the Dakota Access Pipeline.

    Summary: It’s a stupid time to be alive.

    1. It is truly incredible how deep in the bag CNN is for the Hill-bot.

  8. Landmark private health care lawsuit heads to court

    Dr. Brian Day of the Cambie Surgery Centre in Vancouver is challenging B.C.’s ban on the purchase of private insurance for medically necessary services that are already covered by the public system.

    He argues the restriction violates patients’ constitutional rights by forcing them to endure gruelling wait times that often exacerbate their health problems.

    Of course, if he wins, “we will lose the essence of what Canada is all about”. So where’s the downside?

    1. Nobody’s forcing doctors into private practice.

      They *are*, however, forcing doctors into state practice.

      1. They are forcing doctors to move South.

      1. Nah, this country has been built up on bedrock of mealy-mouthed compromise from the start, so I expect something along those lines here, too.

        1. ‘Mealy-mouthed compromise’ truly is Canada’s defining descriptor.

          Rebellion of 1837 – “We will fight for freedom and liberty! …And a couple hundred people showed up. And we lost pretty hard, both times. Well, time to have some reformist governors make the whole colony thing slightly less corrupt.”

          Confederation – MacDonald: “We should have a unitary state! Oh wait, no one in the Maritimes in their right minds would let barbarian Canadians run them and the American Civil War shows how well this works anyway, guess we’re a federalized confederacy of provinces or something.”

          The Constitution – “We totally missed the point of a constitution and compromised on basically every point.”

          English-French relations, the last hundred and fifty years – “Man fuck those guys, but I guess we have to work with them.”

          1. Ooh, Oooh!

            Charter of Rights: These Rights are inborn and apply to every Canadian. Unless 2/3 parliament says no. Then they stop applying for five years. Renewable infinitely.

            1. And this is why we still swear allegiance to the Queen, because no one in their right minds would swear to defend our legal documents, but we’re at least decent enough to defend a wee old lady.

    2. Interesting, given that Quebec Supreme Court ruled that, yes, overlong wait times are a violation of right to life, hence private practice to supplement public one is constitutional.

      1. Applies to Quebec only though.

        What a country.

        1. Indeed, but there is a precedent. And it shouldn’t apply country-wise, as health care is provincial responsibility, and less federal influence the better.

        2. I had a horrible dream that I was in Quebec last night. Everyone was rude and only spoke French to me.

            1. It was a very stressful dream.

        3. Quebec (and I believe Alberta) are ahead on private clinics and hospitals. Ontario is still commie.

          1. Quebec (and I believe Alberta) are ahead on private clinics…

            Actually, it’s Quebec and British Columbia. Alberta’s a distant third — I lived there until two years ago, and had to fly to B.C. (twice!) for timely operations. Yet every Federal election where health care became an issue, Alberta was always demonized as the province that was going to destroy socialized medicine. Conveniently ignored was the fact that, at the time, there were more private clinics in Montreal than in all of Western Canada. (Can’t be saying anything bad about the Kweebekkers, now can we?)

            I HATE Maude Barlow, the Council of Canadians, and every fucking doc who thinks that socialized medicine’s da bomb.

            1. B.C..

              Yes.

    3. Day has been fighting the good fight for a long time.

      “we will lose the essence of what Canada is all about”.

      Yes, because the *essence* of Canada is…universal public health care which is neither unique or an invention of Canada.

      What a pathetic bunch of niasieuxs.

      https://fr.wiktionary.org/wiki/niaiseux

      1. niaiseux. ugh.

        1. Synonymes
          [?]
          newfie (Canada)

          Hahahahahahahaha!

          How many newfies does it take to change a lightbulb?

          1. Is the answer “Newfoundland doesn’t have electricity”, or is it “Newfoundland looks better in the dark”?

    4. From the second link:

      “Doctors will be in a position to take patients who are in pain and who are vulnerable and say things to them like, “I can operate on you in nine months in the public system, but if you come to me in my private clinic, it’ll be two weeks or one month.”

      The solution to that, apparently, is to take away the latter option and force everyone to wait 9 months for the surgery.

      1. But that’s how it works and this is what progressives and their idiot progressive asshole politicians are pushing for in a single payer system. Long waits, expensive and mediocre. Simple as that.

        1. Until one of the Party Members gets sick. Then they get moved to the front of the line.

          1. Yup, I remember an editorial in Globe and Mail bitching about some lady in Ireland who could have waited for six months for hip replacement or something similar (not life-threatening but big quality of life/pain issue), and went private to get it in two weeks. Editorialist was bitching about how if there were no private care, maybe public system wouldn’t take six months.

            It was written by Avi Lewis – son and grandson of major politicians, at the time CBC employee and husband of one Naomi Klein. A man who would never ever have to wait more than couple weeks for a QoL issue and is probably unaware that he would be skipping to the front of the line.

            1. Well he is right. Without private care the wait wouldn’t be 6 months.

        2. No, healthcare is completely binary. There is no such thing as “better” or “worse”. And when it’s paid for through taxes, it’s essentially free! And clients or contractors have never even thought of abusing a system that is not accountable to anyone, so of course diagnostics, treatment, or equipment is not going to cost more than if a private hospital did it.

          Plus waiting lists means the system is working, that the government is taking care of everyone*.

          *Except those who die or get more sick while waiting

          1. *Except those who die or get more sick while waiting

            That’s the system working.

          2. Plus waiting lists means the system is working, that the government is taking care of everyone*.

            *Except those who die or get more sick while waiting

            Danish Health Care–We Treat You the Same As the VA, But at Least the Pot is Good.

        3. Long waits, expensive and mediocre. Simple as that.

          Didn’t that used to be a TV theme song?

          Long waits, expensive and mediocre,
          Come along, if your wound looks ochre!
          The Med Boat, la la la la la loctor,
          Bernie Kopell will be Your Ship’s Doctor.

      2. Yup, because doctors are hoarding care and if you don’t let them distribute it any way but through the state, they will stop hoarding and then wait will be only like, two months, tops.

        Also hilariously, really rich can just hop over to US and pay to have their problems fixed. I’ve still not heard about how that particular problem is to be solved (except higher taxes, of course).

        1. And politicians.

          And people accept this crap because…ESSENCE OF CANADA!

          It’s irrational nonsense. Making public health a part of a political symbol is pure stupidity.

          1. The essence of Canada.

            Hockey has a sad.
            Maple syrup overdoses.
            ‘Eh’ leaves country, marries T to become ‘Teh’

          2. Canada has a really bad problem with associating its nationalism with public healthcare. Just goes to show what happens when you decide to completely whitewash your country’s history, colonial ties and nationalism (19th century Canadian nationalism would drive a modern liberal into a fit) and pretend your country was founded on the ascension of Emperor Trudeau the First.

        2. I’ve still not heard about how that particular problem is to be solved

          Obamacare is working on it.

        3. The Canadian covert operation to get single-payer implemented in the United States has almost reached fruition. Then the rich will have to suffer like everybody else, right?

        4. I’ve still not heard about how that particular problem is to be solved

          We are working on “solving” it for you down here.

      3. Equality, bro. Government is just how we all suffer and die, together.

      4. “I can operate on you in nine months in the public system, but if you come to me in my private clinic, it’ll be two weeks or one month.”

        The reason that Canadian docs can do that is because, in the public system, they’re denied access to O.R.s; the surgeons I spoke to on this issue said that they were only able to get one to two days/week of O.R. time in the public system. That’s why many of them “moonlight” in the private clinics ? the extra three days a week (or so) that they’d be twiddling their thumbs in the public system is time they can use productively in the private system. What the lying bastards on the pro-public side of the debate never tell you is that docs who work in both systems NEVER do private work until their ability to do the public stuff’s exhausted due to shortages/rationing of time, O.R. space, staff availability or whatever. The public system ALWAYS gets first crack at the doc’s time.

        Not to mention the fact that surgery is a heavily manual skill, and requires extensive continuing use to keep the skill set sharp. One to two days a week isn’t enough, and many surgeons only have about a twenty-year window before they’re no longer able to do some surgeries due to declining fine motor control.

    5. “we will lose the essence of what Canada is all about”

      What’s this got to do with maple syrup and calling ham bacon?

    6. The essence of Canada is passive-aggression.

    7. Dr. Michael Klein says new lawsuit will allow some patients to queue-jump, leading to longer wait-lists

      Fewer people in line leads to longer wait times? Huh?

      1. Oh I see.

        “We will lose the essence of what Canada is all about ? which is equity and fairness,” he explained.

        “Doctors will be in a position to take patients who are in pain and who are vulnerable and say things to them like, “I can operate on you in nine months in the public system, but if you come to me in my private clinic, it’ll be two weeks or one month.”

        Yes, ending pain faster is a huge crime that cannot be allowed.

    1. [vomits, dies]

      1. That’ll certainly get Warty’s attention.

        1. That’ll certainly get Jesse’s attention.

      2. He definitely carries those around with him.

      3. I stole the line from the comedic tour de force MacGruber.

    2. You are easily the worst person to ever post on H&R.

      1. No, that would be the person(I always forget who, then click on his/her link and suddenly remember) that links the grossest shit possible.

        1. That really doesn’t narrow it down, homie.

          1. Yeah, the playing field is still wide open.

            I once half-participated in a pretty serious linking of body-modifcation stuff… It got gruesome, indeed.

            1. No, it’s Riven! I don’t know. Fuck it, you are all Tulpa. *takes a drink, smokes some weed, vapes then chokes a hooker

              1. That’s my kind of party, bacon-magic.

                But I get better results if I smoke and then drink… Drinking followed by smoking just leads to more drinking and an inevitable white-girl-wasted afternoon.

                1. Riven,
                  I never knew you were part of the Chokabitch tribe. Party on. *gives secret Universal sign for choking followed by a Curlie head pat

                2. How many white girls have you wasted, Riven?

                  1. Look, I don’t make the quotas–I just meet them, ok?

            2. I once half-participated in a pretty serious linking of body-modifcation stuff… It got gruesome, indeed.

              If a man pulling a crowbar out of his dick is wrong I don’t want to be right.

          2. It was you X! I think.

            1. Shut up, Tulpa!

        2. You’ve narrowed that down to one person?

          1. Not really, you are on the list though. Tulpa.

            1. You seem chafed, maybe you need a 55 gallon drum of personal lubricant?

              This is the best price I’ve ever seen on it.

              1. It is you! Tulpa!!! Not clicking, not clicking…thinking/not thinking…aw fuck it. *dreams of diving in to barrel of lube

                1. What you do is find a long hallway, grease yourself up, get a running start, and then see how far you can slide on your belly like a penguin.

              2. Don’t fall for that, bacon magic! I bet there is acid in that lubricant.

                1. As long as it is less than LD50, I’m ok. I’ll be typing like Agile for a bit but he’ll be around to translate for ya’ll.

                2. Nobody has any good LSD anymore.

                  1. I heard from a friend not to eat the Gold Star. Too much strychnine.

              3. Holy crap. That price is awesome.

                I may have to buy some, just ’cause.

                1. Are you talking about the strychnine?

      2. I thought that was Nikki.

  9. A Russian fighter jet buzzed a U.S. Navy plane over the Black Sea.

    Thank God Fred Thompson isn’t alive to see this.

  10. “Turkey President Recep Erdogan says his country and the United States are ready to launch an offensive on Raqqa, the capital of the Islamic State.”

    What, exactly, is the purpose of announcing your upcoming military maneuvers?

    1. ::sigh:: This is why we’re not beating ISIS.

    2. Will Erdogan be ‘accidentally’ taken out during the operation?

      …Please…

    3. Turkey President Recep Erdogan says his country and the United States are ready to launch an offensive on Raqqa, the capital of the Islamic State.

      Did anybody think to ask if it was a joint operation and if Turkey and the US were going to be on the same side?

      1. The necessary parsing of every single sentence she utters, if Hillary becomes president, will absolutely wear me out and suck all the energy out of me.

        1. The only reason to parse a sentence is to get the true meaning, and if sentences don’t have one, why bother?

  11. Jill Stein will face vandalism charges after allegedly spray painting construction equipment during a protest against the Dakota Access Pipeline.

    Yet remains the second-least offensive candidate in the race…

    1. Talk about your low bar.

      1. Limbo-ing on your tippy-toes.

    2. Third. I think I’d take Christian Crusader Castle over the Gaia Worshipper.

  12. A jury in Texas awarded $5.4 million to a cleaning company it found had been maligned by the Service Employees International Union.

    Good use of union dues.

    1. Probably the best thing SEIU dues have ever been used on.

      1. Any bets on how many SEIU thugs will ‘hand-deliver’ the money?

  13. A Russian fighter jet buzzed a U.S. Navy plane over the Black Sea.

    It’s just a microaggression that the Russians need to be taught not to do.

    1. U.S. citizens! We are under attack! Head to your designated Safe Space? if you are up to date on your taxes.

  14. The ruling party in Zimbabwe is withholding government food aid from supporters of the opposition.

    Why protest a government competent enough to require food aid in the first place? Time for the blue helmets to take over distribution?

    1. Yeah, putting the student council in charge always helps.

      1. The locals aren’t going to molest themselves.

      2. That’s how you leap forward. Greatly.

  15. Vancouver police concerned for potential lookalike of serial rapist Larry Takahashi

    Takahashi is living in a halfway house in Vancouver, and police have warned he poses a “risk of significant harm to the safety of teenage and adult females in the City of Vancouver.”

    Police have warned the public to be vigilant if they spot Takahashi violating the conditions of his day parole, but today Montague said police are worried an innocent lookalike could get targeted.

    “We are concerned that someone who may resemble Mr. Takahashi may wind up in a situation that we don’t want them in,” said Montague.

    Should the police be putting out such warnings, if the guy has done his time? Maybe he shouldn’t be out if he’s such a danger? Open for discussion.

    1. Maybe the police are just racist and think all Asians look alike?

    2. Police: “They all look alike”

    3. Does this mean the Takahashi lookalike gets a free pass?

  16. Vandals topple Oregon’s iconic rock formation Duckbill

    “I kind of laughed to myself cause I thought there was no way that they could knock it down but then I noticed that it started wobbling and then I started to record it as two of the guys manged to knock it down,” David Kalas told CNN affiliate KATU.
    Kalas said when he confronted the group, they said they knocked the rock over because a friend had broken a leg on it.
    “They basically told me themselves that it was a safety hazard, and that they did the world or Oregon a favor,” Kalas told the station.

    1. Their excuse sounds awfully familiar to that guy who wrecked some rock formations a few years ago. He was also in trouble because he was on disability and yet somehow managed the strength to topple some big rocks.

    2. There are so many dumb fucks out there…

    3. Their friend broke his leg on a roped off rock formation, and that is their excuse for destroying it? Maybe he should have stayed away from it?

      I guess idiots know enough to recognize what their natural enemies are.

      1. Hey! The rock jumped him from behind!

    4. Husky fans have no taste.

      1. my first thought was Beaver fans, but maybe they wouldn’t trash their own state. Nah, they would

  17. O/T – CNN has confirmed that math is in fact totally racist.

    http://money.cnn.com/2016/09/0….._expansion

    1. She has nicknamed herself “the Math babe”. John and Crusty would. I’m off to go hang myself before I google her name.

      1. +3 David Carradine, Michael Hutchence, and Kenny.

        1. I have walked the rice paper without leaving a footprint. I want to go get some nookie now.

      2. She has nicknamed herself “the Math babe”.

        Not based on her picture, she isn’t.

        1. I wonder how long she waited around for someone to bestow it upon her.

          I’m think a loooong time. Yeeesh!

    2. “O’Neil, who has a PhD in mathematics from Harvard, has done stints in academia, at a hedge fund during the financial crisis and as a data scientist at a startup. It was there — in conjunction with work she was doing with Occupy Wall Street”

      A triple-failure, eh?

      1. She is so fat, she includes a set of which she herself is a member.

        1. Algebra, bitches!

      2. I thought one of the defining traits of OWS was that they didn’t work?

        1. I, for one, don’t consider grievance studies and social justice huckstering to be actual work.

        2. Certainly not at hedge funds.

        3. “at a hedge fund during the financial crisis ”

          So, not very well, anyway.

    3. Apparently 2 plus 2 does not equal 4 for black people.

      1. Does this mean 1 isn’t the loneliest number?

        1. Her phone # is the loneliest number.

        2. Two can be as sad as one…

    4. cuz people tend to be like their neighbors instead of being precious individual snowflakes.
      identity politics bites both ways

    5. They’re trying to fix that in Alabama.

      http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry…..73af95d5c0

    6. Honestly, I don’t think she has a bad point. Algorithms have become a clever way to treat people in nasty collectivist ways without anyone realizing. Everyone deserves to be judged on their own merit. The things she is talking about don’t do that. They judge people based on the color of their skin, the neighborhood they live in or their taste in things instead of who they are. It is just using math as a cover for collectivism.

      1. John speaking out against collectivism?

        [pinches self]

        1. Speaking as your friendly neighborhood anarcho-capitalist insurance agent, I think the common libertarian definition of “collectivism” could stand to be narrowed down a bit, or at least less broad than branding as a heretic anyone who discusses groups or statistics.

      2. Math is truth. The truth hurts. She should’ve added logic class to her schedule.

        1. Math is not truth. Math is internally consistent. It is only “truth” insofar as it correlates to reality. The math associated with Ptolemy’s system describing the solar system is perfectly valid and every bit as valid as the math in Kepler. Ptolemy is wrong not because his math was wrong but because his math doesn’t describe reality.

          Mathematically you may be more likely to be a bad risk on a loan because of your address. That math being true doesn’t make my leap to conclude that it must be true for you any less invalid.

          You need to take a course in logic not her.

          1. You’ve been looking to “get me” on here for a while. Good for you John. I’m not one of your haters. Stop acting like it. I was being flippant in a jovial manner. Good day sir, goodbye. Tulpa.

            1. My fault for not getting it. My apologies. I didn’t realize you were being flippant. Seriously, I am the worst about not getting sarcasm on here sometimes.

              1. Seriously, I am the worst about not getting sarcasm on here sometimes.

                You have a ways to go before you reach Hihnsanity’s sheer inability to spot sarcasm.

          2. John, I almost forgot:
            What is 1+1 equal?
            .
            .
            .
            .
            .

            Answer = fuck off

          3. Mathematically you may be more likely to be a bad risk on a loan because of your address. That math being true doesn’t make my leap to conclude that it must be true for you any less invalid.

            And since lenders are unable to see the future, unlike socially conscious folks like yourself, they have to rely on rational reasons for using actuarial tables, zip codes, grammar proficiency or anything else they deem suitable for ascertaining credit worthiness.

            Most importantly, it’s their money to lend on whatever basis they see fit. Secondly, lenders who use bad criteria will tend to lose money, or at least make less money than those who use more rational criteria. So the efficacy of those methods for ascertaining creditworthiness will usually speak for themselves by their continued use over long periods of time.

            1. The fact that I live in a certain neighborhood doesn’t mean I am like whatever the mean of that neighborhood is. I might be the exception. My neighborhood average is just that, a measure of people who live there. It is not a cause of anything. It is just a measure of the average.

              These things are not useful so much as they are easy. It is easy to look at the neighborhood average and say “too bad”. What is hard ts to look at the actual person and their circumstances and make a judgment. Do they work? At some level sure. Understand what they are. They are nothing but a lazy form of collectivism.

              There is no difference between saying “sorry I won’t loan to you because you are from the wrong neighborhood” and saying “sorry I won’t loan to you because you are black”, assuming people from that neighborhood and black people in general are bad credit risks. It would be easier to run a bank than only loaned to white people who lived in the right neighborhoods.

              Is that moral? I don’t think so. Just because it in some ways works and is easy doesn’t make it right.

              1. The fact that I live in a certain neighborhood doesn’t mean I am like whatever the mean of that neighborhood is. I might be the exception. My neighborhood average is just that, a measure of people who live there. It is not a cause of anything. It is just a measure of the average.

                The banker doesn’t know that, all else being equal. Perhaps there’s some mitigating circumstance? Maybe you pull in 300% higher wages than everyone in your zip code. Maybe you don’t.

                These things are not useful so much as they are easy. It is easy to look at the neighborhood average and say “too bad”.

                Yes, you are so familiar with how lending and insurance work that you think it’s feasible or economical to create tailor made products for every asshole that walks in the door. Yeah they’re just lazy because they don’t want to make any money. If only there were some sort of financial lender that wasn’t lazy, he’d make all the money there is to make.

                Is that moral? I don’t think so. Just because it in some ways works and is easy doesn’t make it right.

                You don’t think so? If, in principle, it’s my money to lend whomever the fuck I want, there’s nothing immoral about lending money based on some arbitrary criteria. Just because something doesn’t produce an outcome you prefer, doesn’t make it immoral. Aren’t you the guy the who defends the right of a Christian baker not to make a gay wedding cake?

                1. I defend their right to do that without the government going after them. I don’t think what they do is necessarily moral. Just because I defend someone’s right to do something without being sued or thrown in jail doesn’t mean I approve of it.

                  1. I defend their right to do that without the government going after them. I don’t think what they do is necessarily moral.

                    If it’s immoral then there should be a law against it or at least there not exist a right or subset of a right to commit said act. Or maybe you mean it’s immoral like Old Testament “don’t eat shellfish” immoral? In which case, please understand that theological moral codes are poor material for debating with basically anyone not sitting on the same pew as you in your own church.

                    Just because I defend someone’s right to do something without being sued or thrown in jail doesn’t mean I approve of it.

                    So if you disapprove, then it’s immoral? I think it’s rude for people to show up at my house unannounced, yet I still serve them food and drinks when they do and I tend not to advocate that they be jailed. It’s not a question of moral or immoral from what you’re telling me. This falls into the category of ‘amoral’, a category where we need not talk about moral condemnation but may feel free to bitch about the practical and empirical instead. I know I do. Bankers, generally, are some of my least favorite people to deal with whether as a consumer or in my capacity as an insurance broker, right after auto-mechanics and litigation attorneys.

              2. Then bank with a local bank where the banker knows you personally and understands your exceptions.

                1. There is no such thing Rob. All banks are huge national corporations.

                  1. There is no such thing Rob. All banks are huge national corporations.

                    All banks are part of a huge national cartel, that still doesn’t make them created equal. And my area of about 15,000 people has four completely local banks that are independent of outside ownership, two of which are commercial lenders as well. We have a couple Chase branches, some credit unions and a few regional banks as well, but their volume of business is petty compared to the local banks that people here actually afford some modicum of trust.

                    To say that they’re all huge national corporations is not only empirically false, but falsified by the mere anecdote of my sparsely populated area. The word ‘all’ is tricky like that.

          4. John, we had this discussion last week. There are at least two forms of the word truth: consistency, and correspondence with natural events or rules. Both are valid and they refer to two different things. So math is indeed truth, if referring to the coherence theory of truth.

            1. Thanks Chipper.

            2. You are right. Sorry if that wasn’t clear.

          5. Math is internally consistent.

            Kurt G?del says Hi.

            1. He would agree with me on that. I assume that is what you mean.

              1. No, he proved it isnt internally consistent.

                  1. No Rob. He proved that it is internally consistent but cannot prove the assumptions that it starts from. It can’t go outside itself to justify itself.

                    I think we are arguing semantics here. I consider a system that starts with an unproven assumption and reasons consistently from there to be strictly speaking “internally consistent”. You don’t. And maybe you are right and I am using the term wrong. But we don’t disagree.

                    1. No, what he proved is that if you have a complete system, there will be at least one case that the axioms can prove that A is true and can also prove that not A is true.

                      It isnt about proving the starting assumptions.

                      Internally, there will be inconsistencies in any complete system.

                    2. Its one of the things that bugs me about Ayn Rand. She was writing AFTER Goedel, but still stuck to the Aristotlean logic.

                      I mean, yeah, most of the time he is still right, just like Newtonian physics is mostly right too.

                      But we have Goedel and Einstein, lets use them.

                1. Actually, he proved it can be either consistent or complete, but not both.

      3. Since there is no perfect metric, you’re going to need to explain to the banks how they need to give more minority people loans without any collateral and with terrible credit ratings. I’m sure that won’t explode in our faces like it just did not that long ago. Or is the ‘Financial Crisis’ old enough news that we’re not allowed to talk about it?

        Or was that whole subprime mortgage debacle not linked to idiotic federal requirements based on some bullshit fairness doctrine?

      4. birds of a feather. math doesn’t lie. Trust HAL

  18. Turkey President Recep Erdogan says his country and the United States are ready to launch an offensive on Raqqa, the capital of the Islamic State.

    Obama: “Oh, great, now we have to launch an offensive on Raqqa! When will this guy talk to me first? I’m a president too!”

  19. So biggish news from UK is that Keith Vaz, an MP of long standing, married etc, has been using rentboys for a while, and now a few talked. Notable: Not a Tory as one would expect (Labour instead).

    The Spectator is having a tasteful field day with it. From Douglas Murray: Why do people always fall from grace for the wrong reasons

    But the point I would like to make is that other than getting rent boys it is hard to imagine many other routes to happiness for Vaz in the whole gay area.

    For although one does not want to rub salt into wounds, if you have the appearance of Penfold, the condescension of a cat and the physique of a care bear, even being a Chairman of the Home Affairs select committee won’t help you get much in the way of gay totty.

    And, interesting though who knows if true (Spectator is usually relaiable, FWIW), article written by an actual rentboy

    I am not surprised that Keith Vaz has been caught sleeping with male hookers. I’m one myself and so I know that overweight married Asians are our staple. We often joke that without Indians and-Middle Eastern guys, we’d all be broke. They are always married. I’ve always been sickened by the way they betray their wives, but they aren’t paying me for my judgment.

    1. rentboys

      Is this the same as two men and a truck?

      At least they arrive with their own mobile sexmobile.

      1. I have no problem with rentboys. I do have a problem with ownboys, however.

        1. They violate the “3 Fs” rule of ownership.

    2. We often joke that without Indians and-Middle Eastern guys, we’d all be broke.

      There goes the whole Hindutva crowd’s claim that homosexuality is a western phenomenon.

      1. Well, these are guys living (at least part of the year) in UK, so, Western Corruption?

        1. The Hindu Right will convince themselves of that I’m sure.

          O/T, I saw pictures online of a same-sex Hindu wedding in San Francisco. The comments were just really sad. The 2 guys getting married were the object of a ton of online hate.

          1. I thought gender norms and abnormal sexuality was not frowned upon In India?

            1. You are thinking of Thailand.

              1. Oh ok, thanks! *buys ticket for a friend(his name is John, you guys don’t know him in person)

      2. There goes the whole Hindutva crowd’s claim that homosexuality is a western phenomenon.

        How do they explain kagema?

      3. It is a pretty safe bet that anyone who claims there are no homosexuals in their particular demographic is in the closet.

        1. *cough* Republican Congressmen *cough*

    3. Darn, I was hoping what was about Teresa May. If there’s any justice left in this world, that day is coming.

    4. The Rent Boys’ third album, Gay Totty, was awesome.

      1. Speaking of which, can we get “totty” to cross the Ocean? It’s an amazing word, and much needed in American English.

  20. How to Pick the Fastest Line at the Supermarket

    Among the many helpful tips:

    Look for female cashiers

    “This may seem sexist, but I prefer female cashiers,” Mr. Samuel wrote. “In my experience they seem to be the most expedient at register transactions and processing.”

    A. J. Marsden, an assistant professor of human services and psychology at Beacon College in Leesburg, Fla., suggested checking to see if a cashier was talkative and commenting on every item being scanned. If so, avoid this line “unless there is no one in that line, in which case, just deal with the chatty cashier,” she said in an email.

    1. That supposes there are any male cashiers.

      1. I’ve had male cashiers.

        1. Does this have something to do with rentboys?

          1. He had them in the Biblical sense.

    2. Old people still write checks.

      1. I’ve witnessed an attractive lady millennial writing a check to pay for groceries. She is obviously a monster.

        1. Was she doing it “ironically”?

          1. Yes, in that her account had a zero balance. How ironic.

            1. Bummer. That’s like rain on your wedding day.

        2. Did she at least start the check before all the purchases were rung up, or wait until the total was announced?

          And how many coupons did she have to fish for?

          Inquiring minds need to know.

        3. It’s because checks are ‘vintage’ and ‘retro’. Fucking millennials.

      2. And fish for exact change.

    3. Apu: Mrs. Simpson, the express line is the fastest line not always. That old man up front, he is starved for attention. He will talk the cashier’s head off.

      Abe: Ah, there’s an interesting story behind this nickel. In 1957, I remember it was, I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to three — medium brown.

      Apu: Let’s go to… that line.

      Marge: But that’s the longest.

      Apu: Yes, but look: all pathetic single men. Only cash, no chitchat.

      1. Then what happened? Did Marge get aassqge from Apu?

        1. What the fuck. I distinctly remember typing “massage.”

          1. Anal massage typo?

            1. A back massage from the inside?

    4. Don’t get behind me. Not that I’m slow but the person in front of me always is.

    5. Female cashier: “How fast can I go to get this ogling POS checked out and exiting the store.”

    6. I always – ALWAYS – pick the wrong line.

      ALWAYS.

      1. How often does it happen?

        1. /slaps libertarian off the side of the head.

          1. Maybe you’re the problem?

      2. It’s OK, just relax, smile and be yourself. You don’t need lines.

        Unless you mean the queue, in which case I got nothing.

      3. I am pretty good at picking the best line. The problem is my wife. Invariably if I see a cashier with no one in line she will suddenly see one more item she needs to look at and oops, ten people simultaneously get in line. I swear she does it on purpose.

    7. Rule 1: Do not go to Wal-Mart.

      1. Rule 2: Do not buy the pre-chopped cauliflower at Walmart.

        1. Rule 3:
          Do not call the pre-mart wallaby at Flowerchop.

    8. No. Male cashiers are faster most of the time. Sometimes you run into the anomalous slow male, but on the whole they’re faster.

    9. No. Male cashiers are faster most of the time. Sometimes you run into the anomalous slow male, but on the whole they’re faster.

    1. It’s Italy – it’s either masturbate in public or masturbate in your mom’s house. It’s not exactly a Sophie’s Choice-type decision.

    2. So the fastest check-out lines are now with female cashiers in Italy

  21. Jill Stein will face vandalism charges after allegedly spray painting construction equipment during a protest against the Dakota Access Pipeline.

    Vandalism and overall disrespect for the property of others is sure to broaden her base support among communists, thieves, radical environmentalists and subsidized retards.

    1. IOW, her base will remain unchanged?

      1. Broadened. She might have pulled in a few Bernie Bros that she hadn’t yet impressed with her ignorance.

  22. What would the day after be like around here if Hillary loses and it’s because Johnson stole votes away from her? That’s should be epic.

    1. Oh so many lolz so many lolz. I plan on trolling HnR hard if Trump wins, but if Johnson is the reason then holy shit my trolling will be epic.

      1. If Trump wins I’m tuning my TV to MSNBC for the next 4 years and notifying Guinness that I’m going for the world’s longest laugh record

        1. and youtubing The Young Turks everyday

          1. Had to google that one (what’s youtube?). To save others an alt-tab:
            Cenk Uygur describes himself as an “independent progressive” and asserts that the show is aimed at the “98 per cent not in power'” and what he describes as the 60% of Americans who hold progressive views.

            Not sure I want to help monetize someone delusional enough to think there is anything independent about being progressive

            1. Uygur is also an Armenian genocide denier who named his news organization after the group responsible for that particular atrocity. So, you know, one of those really wonderful kinds of Turks.

        2. I think Guinness has a policy against dangerously masochistic records now.

    2. Massive celebration for a day followed by immediate depression at the prospect of four years of President Trump?

      1. Those Proggy tears will ease the pain.

    3. Hillary doesn’t own any votes, guy. Nobody is “stealing” votes from anybody.

    4. The only thing to enjoy if Trump wins is proggie tears. But that will get offset by our own tears that a turd like him will occupy the same office as George Washington and Thomas Jefferson.

      1. …not to mention Woodrow Wilson, Franklin Roosevelt, Richard Nixon… i think those drawers are already shat in, Injun.

        1. Trump is to Wilson/FDR/Nixon what a septic tank is to sh1t.

          There’s a lot more than we’ve seen before.

          1. Is there?

          2. It would be virtually impossible for anyone to be a worse President than FDR. The man put citizens in actual camps, at that was somehow not the worst thing he ever did.

          3. Considering Trump hasn’t been in office, what you’re saying is that his mean tweets are worse than Wilson/FDR/Nixon. Really?

            1. I’m being rightly panned by you and the other commenters.

              Yes, he doesn’t have power. Yes, he has bad ideas. And no, even with power, in today’s world, he probably won’t be able to do anything like what Wilson and FDR did.

          4. God no. An incompetent is always better than an actively competent man with bad ideas. People do this with Obama as well, listing him as the worse President of all time. No, he might be the worse if he were actually competent, but as it stays he’s just terrible. Wilson is directly responsible for a good half of the international problems of the last century, not to mention laying the groundwork for the most destructive conflict in human history. Him, Lloyd George and Clemeneau can all rot in hell.

            1. This. -1 American Involvement in WWI

            2. An incompetent is always better than an actively competent man with bad ideas.

              The one saving grace of Justin Trudeau, PBUH* (or as I’m wont to call him from now on after the Chinese gave him this nickname, “Small Potato”).

              * “Pretty Boy Under Hair”

      2. Conversely, if Clinton wins, I want to put the immediate John meltdown on pay-per-view and sell fucking tickets.

      3. George Washington’s myth was a pretty decent guy. His reality was a big bag of shit.

        1. And yet still the greatest man to ever hold the office.

          1. And yet still the greatest man to ever hold ANY office.

      4. Adams was the first president in the White House, so Washington had a different office.

    5. What would the day after be like around here if Hillary loses

      Matt Welch, Editor-at-large of Reason, was found today in his home, dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

      1. If Trump wins, they are going to have to check Suderman into some kind of in patient clinic. The guy will have some kind of meltdown. They will have to strap him to the bed and put him on Thorazine.

      2. And the Jacket will likely leave the dried out husk formerly known as Gillespie and seek out a new host.

        1. I thought the Jacket itself was the husk.

  23. Woman wants to be so fat she can’t move

    Monica Riley, who is a model, wants to become the world’s fattest woman ? 70st. This is not a record we would recommend anyone to try and beat.

    Her boyfriend, Sid Riley, is a feeder and he spends his day cooking for Monica, feeding her through a tube at their home in Fort Worth, Texas.

    She said: ‘The plan is to reach 1,000lbs [50st] and become immobile. I would feel like a queen because Sid would be waiting on me hand and foot and he’s excited about it too.

    ‘It’s a sexual fantasy for us and we talk about it a lot. He already has to help me get off the sofa and get me out of bed.

    ‘If I lay down after a big dinner he has to help me roll over because my belly is too full for me to roll ? it’s a big turn-on for both of us.’

    Poor choices. Very many poor choices.

    1. As long as I don’t have to pay for it.

      If I do, just kill them both now.

      1. +1. Go ahead and eat yourself immobile, but don’t ever call for medical assistance

        1. If you shot her with a handgun, wouldn’t the fatty tissue slow the bullet down to a crawl by the time it got near any vital organs?

    2. If that’s how they want to be, who are we to ju- [barf]

      1. *laughs evilly*

    3. I thought 50 stone was 700 pounds.

      But then the Brits use weird measurements.

      1. According to various sources, one stone is 14 lbs. Dunno where the 1,000 lbs. thing came from. Chalk it up to the continuing innumeracy amongst the MSM.

    4. Nah, he’ll incapacitate her, then the thrill will have worn off because he’s already deeply altered her and move on to someone else skinny.

    5. It’s very sad

    6. More then a half hour passes and not a single John joke? What the hell people?

      1. John’s a bit bitchy today, best to leave him grumbling about the neighbor kids in the yard.

          1. I believe everyone has their days. Some more than others.

    7. Her boyfriend, Sid Riley, is a feeder

      Why do i get the impression that this is not a “good thing”

      1. How do you feel about your soul/consciousness?

        1. i don’t sweat it? not sure what you’re asking.

          I’m just saying that people who have a fetish that involves turning other people into animate-garbage-disposals strikes me as borderline-evil

    8. John would?

    9. Can she just eat him, instead?

      I mean, if we’re talking fantasies here…

    10. Does Tess Holliday know that someone’s trying to one-up her “healthy at any size, BIGOT!” niche?

  24. WIDER IMAGE-Struggling to feed families, Venezuelans abandon pets

    Americans might finally care now that dogs are involved… We need to reinforce this with issues of starving pets with meme text “SOCIALISM = STARVING PUPPIES”

    1. Growing up in socialist India, pets were seen as a sign of self-indulgence, the idea being that you’d rather care for an animal than help the millions of poor people around you.

      1. It’s true. I’d rather have a pet than help millions of people. No, really.

    2. Why aren’t they eating them?

      1. Give it another week. It’s hard to eat Fido, even when you’re starving. Now if you and your neighbor let your pets go, he can eat Fido and you can eat Rover and you can both sleep at night knowing that Maduro loves you and wants you to be happy.

    3. SOLUTION = Send the Texas fatty to venezuela

    1. Duh, shedding unnecessary weight by cutting out intestines is an unfair advantage. If we let him get away with it, soon all the players will be having their guts snipped.

  25. Couple of days old: more bad choices

    ‘Dragon Lady’ cuts off her ears to become more reptilian

    Eva Tiamat Baphomet Medusa has undergone many body modifications in order to become “Dragon Lady.”

    1. Crusty would (and probably has).

      1. I imagine it”d be easy to sneak up on her.

    2. must have been inspired by Tusk. At least someone was

      1. I thought inspired by Vincent Van Gogh

    3. Where are the ball bearing implants and sharpened teeth? I’m sensing a lack of commitment.

  26. Oh, by the way…

    I’m getting married on 9/25/16. I insisted on a date with perfect squares so I would be sure to remember it. That’s what love is, right?

    1. My wedding anniversary is 8/8. And I still came two days from forgetting this year.

      1. Lol! Glad it’s not just me

        1. Congratulations, Riven. Hope you kids are happy and love each other every day.

          1. Danke! That’s the plan. 🙂

    2. Congrats! My daughter is getting married the 17th.

      1. Congrats to you, too! Are you doing the father-daughter dance and all that?

        1. Thanks! Of course:)

        1. Yeah! Gross. Others seem to approve, though.

    3. Congratulations!

      (on ruining all my fantasies)

      1. I tend to do that. Just ask OMWC.

      2. Doing sex to someone who is wearing a white wedding dress is worthy of a fantasy.

        I don’t recommend being the person in the dress, though, because it is not very comfortable.

        1. Well, the last thing I need is a white layer cake to wear, so there’s that.

          Also, when doing the sex, I’d prefer not to be wearing anything at all.

        2. I got you covered, Crusty

          Ultra NSFW (and by that I mean this is a link to heterosexual adult pornography): Danny D and Romi Rain in “Romi’s Early Wedding GiftNSFW

          Danny D does some occasional gay for pay stuff so when I needed some straight porn with big fake titties for a hookup (long story), I went looking for his straight stuff. Clearly I prefer the work he did as Matt Hughes such as adult film classic The Milkman.

          1. Jesse, I appreciate the effort, I really do, but you really have the worst taste in women. Goodness.

          2. I think I speak for all of us, when I say that you should tell us the rest of that story, Jesse.

            1. Sorry, had to actually work for a bit. And it’s not actually that long of a story.

              It’s not that crazy a story. There’s a fellow of my acquaintance who likes having sex with men while he watches straight porn, preferably with pornstars with big pornstar titties. He’s actually brought one of those CaseLogic soft CD/DVD wallets filled with big titted women getting railed.

              I don’t necessarily mind the straight porn, but I find it more distracting than titillating so I’ve got a small collection of straight porn featuring guys I find attractive (usually that I’ve seen doing gay porn previously), so I don’t lose wood while I’m doing the railing.

              I don’t get the appeal but I’m running into more of this stuff lately and I can at least work with it. I’ve seen an uptick in ostensibly straight guys wanting to get treated like they like seeing lady pornstars get treated. Had someone ask me to rub one out on his chest and face while he watched a “cumpilation” video of a bunch of women getting nutted on.

              1. I learn more things about humanity from you…

    4. I read today that that is racist.

      1. Getting married is racist? Maybe!

        Then again, I’m already pretty racist against the red men of the plains, so…

        1. No, no, I meant “math.”

        2. Is that some sort of menstruation euphemism?

    5. NOT TO SAY ANYTHING BUT A SYMBOLIC INVITATION WOULDA BEEN NICE.

      1. YOU’RE NOT INVITED THO

            1. You don’t know what you’re missing.

              I can really eat.

    6. So, you’re announcing it here because we’re all invited?

      1. I’m announcing it because I expect tribute, duh.

        1. I suggest we all send 2 bucks to Agile Cyborg. Imagine what sort of tribute he could devise given $30!

          1. We’re all Tulpa, so that’s only $2, that Riven will give to herself.

        2. A young libertarian couple always needs more orphans. I have put one in the mail. Unfortunately, Canada Post is on strike. I’m sure it will get there eventually.

          1. The meat will have spoiled by then.

            1. If your orphans have meat on them you are not working them hard enough.

              1. I’ll still find a use for the little guy.

                1. He can serve as a warning to the others.

          2. Put holes in the box, next time.

    7. I got married on New Years Day to save myself the agony of remembering another date.

      1. Smart! Future Mr. Riven suggested 8/24/16 because international date would be 24/8/16–“Powers of Two.”

        1. I’m less smart. So I just went with a number that had lots of ones. 1/1/10

      2. Yeah- My dad was smart like that- got married on St Patricks Day… and mom’s birthday is the very next day!

    8. Congrats! May you and your significant other find many hookers to choke.

      1. We’ve discussed adding a third, but no talk yet of the choking.

        Maybe for the five year anniversary…

        1. Atta girl! Keep it frisky.

          1. It’s the only way I know!

    9. congratulations!

    10. Congrats! Oh shit. My anniversary is in 6 days. Off to the internet for some 2 day shipping. What’s 3? Vacuum cleaners?

      1. Exercise clothes, gym membership, and diet books. Trust me.

        1. That’s awesome except for the diet books

          1. It’s not remotely funny if you’re a fit lady. Gosh.

      2. My parent’s anniversary is Sunday (yep). And it’s their 40th… fuck that’s right I was gonna surprise them with a gift!

        1. Your radiant presence?

          1. They get enough of that.

            It’s an ice cream maker. If I can find a good one and get it before Sunday.

            1. How fancy are you looking for? I have no advice on the liquid nitrogen ice-cream-in-a-minute machines, but this is the current generation of the machine I have and it works just fine.

              I think you can track down some of the earlier variations for a bit cheaper. If they already have a Kitchenaid stand mixer there’s a freezer bowl you can get for that, which means one fewer full-sized device lying around although kitchenaid attachments might be a bit pricier.

              DO NOT ask Gojira about ice cream makers. It will end badly.

              1. Thanks for the recs. My brother sold them on an ice cream maker, so I’m waiting to hear back from him on the model he got. Swapping out the kitchenaid bowl is clever, but it has some troubling reviews. Ultimately size is the most important factor; apartment living with a crowded freezer and all. Likely going with the smaller, 1.5qt Cuisinart model.

        1. Would it still be pervy to ask for pics? Of the wedding night day?

    11. Congratulations!

  27. The ruling party in Zimbabwe is withholding government food aid from supporters of the opposition.

    Proving that it’s an excellent idea to depend on the government you’re fighting for the most basic staples.

    Oh, +1 Net Neutrality Commission!

  28. Navajo WW2 code talker Joe Hosteen Kellwood is dead at age 95.

    Not to worry.

    Trump has taken up the Wind Talking mantle.

    1. What kind of Indian name is that?

  29. http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2016/…..eek-video/

    Assange is promising a new email dump in the next week. Oh what will it contain? Any guesses?

    1. Hopefully something that the FBI hasn’t seen yet and is dumb enough to say so in an unguarded moment.

      1. Meh. There could be an email from Hillary saying “I want to kill that fucker Bernie Sanders just like I blew Vince Foster’s head off — and again make everyone think it’s a suicide. Ha-ha-ha-ha!!”

        And it will get a small mention on page 6 of the ‘Nation’ section of the newspaper, next to “Sunday Church Listings”.

        Meanwhile, “Closeup of Trump’s Nose Reveals Offensive Boogers” will be above the fold on page one.

    2. Hacked Russian emails. That’s the story, John.

    3. Prediction? More anti-Trump articles.

    4. sexist right wing conspiracies?

  30. RIP, Some Guys

    People have different perspectives on what it means when people die doing shit that has a very high likelihood of killing you.

    I think it depends what it is, and the experience/professionalism people have when attempting them. Ultimately its ‘their choice’.

    I personally think its a lot less stupid than mere “stunts”. For instance, i think Base Jumping? (glide suits, or whatever)… is pretty stupid. By all means, do it! But i don’t see it the same way i see mountaineers, who are closer to ‘astronauts’ in my mind.

    (*tho that’s not exactly right either – just that there’s a shared element of ‘going places people can’t otherwise go’, only w/ mountaineering, its limited to ‘using just the power of the human body’) Part of it is simply a desire to explore the most extreme places on earth; sort of a near-suicidal-tourism. In any case, i hope they died quick.

    1. Mountain Climbing? Base Jumping? Heroin?

      At least they died doing what they love.

      1. yeah, sort of my point

        but also that i think there is actually a hierarchy of difference between those equally-meaningless things.

        meaning – all of them are things people do “because they can”

        but i think there’s distinct virtue in doing some things “for their own sake”…. zero virtue in doing others, and some things in-between.

    2. I did some research once on the climbers who had summited every one of the 8,000m peaks. These are arguably amongst the best climbers in the world, and ? of them: died climbing something else, lost body parts to frostbite, or had someone else in their climbing party die. It’s a dangerous activity, but they are all aware of that.

      We are all going to die of something. Too much of govt regulation comes from trying to deny that fact, as if with just a few more regulations and prohibitions we would all get to live forever. Except that our bodies aren’t up for that challenge, and a decrepit old age having lived within a safe cocoon isn’t much of a life anyway.

      RIP Kyle and Scott, and congrats for being recognized as “two of the world’s best” in your chosen activity.

      1. “…a decrepit old age having lived within a safe cocoon isn’t much of a life anyway.”

        Not a Steven Hawking fan?

        I’ll define what is ‘much of a life’ for me, thank you very much. Some people have intellectual pursuits, you might be surprised to learn.

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