A.M. Links: 52% of Voters Want Gary Johnson on Presidential Debate Stage, Trump Goes to Mexico, Tropical Storm Hits Florida

• 

  Reason

  New poll: 52 percent of voters think Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson should be included on the presidential debate stage.

• Hillary Clinton's unfavorable ratings are now at 56 percent.
• Donald Trump says he did not discuss making Mexico pay for a border wall in his meeting yesterday with Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto. But the Mexican president disputes Trump's account. "At the start of the conversation with Donald Trump, I made it clear that Mexico will not pay for the wall," Peña Nieto tweeted.
• Jacob Monty, a member of Donald Trump's National Hispanic Advisory Council, has resigned from that group in response to Trump's immigration speech yesterday. "What I heard today was not realistic and not compassionate," Monty said.
• Florida is bracing for a tropical storm.
• "North Korea has executed a vice premier for showing disrespect during a meeting presided over by leader Kim Jong-Un, South Korea said Wednesday, after reports that he fell asleep."

Follow us on Facebook and Twitter, and don't forget to sign up for Reason's daily updates for more content.

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

New poll: 52 percent of voters think Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson should be included on the presidential debate stage.

Too bad that ain't the criteria.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

Finally, the libertarians have won a poll!

[Rufus The Monocled]

Hello.

"New poll: 52 percent of voters think Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson should be included on the presidential debate stage."

Give it up. It's over. Welch said so last night.

[Juvenile Bluster]

It was always over. Just like in the Colorado case they wrote about yesterday; even if GJ were somehow to meet their criteria, they'd figure out a way to say he didn't.

[Injun, as in from India]

Get ready to be f***ed by Hillary!

[Red Rocks Okey-Dokein]

Now that Huma's sham marriage is over, I suspect she'll be handling those chores for us, thank goodness.

[Cyto]

What I'd like to know is, what the heck are the other 48% thinking?

Why would you say "no, I don't think a candidate who is polling around 10% of the vote should be in the debate.

It isn't like we are talking about Deez Nutz. I'd say Johnson is more of a serious candidate than Ross Perot was.

[Red Rocks Okey-Dokein]

I don't know--if Perot hadn't initially dropped out (and there's some suspicious circumstances behind that event), there's a pretty good chance that he could have at least thrown the election to the House. There's an outside chance that Johnson could accomplish that if he wins Utah and/or Idaho, but I doubt it. Ultimately, people are going to come down for either Trump or Clinton as the election gets closer once it becomes apparent that Johnson and Stein are getting shut out of the process.

[Cyto]

Yeah, I was speaking more to his seriousness as a possible president, rather than his support. Trump is more the heir to Perot, except he managed to land a major party nomination.

Johnson isn't a serious candidate from the point of view of winning - at least not yet.

But one could dream of a world in which he is put on the debate stage and manages to appear to be serious enough to get consideration. In a year of Turd Sandwich vs Giant Douche, serious and presidential might win the election.

Reagan didn't have a chance until he debated Carter. When he looked sharp and on-point and handed Carter his hat a couple of times, people were suddenly allowed to take him seriously and Mr. Malaise was sent packing.

Unfortunately Johnson has a bit of a charisma deficit. I still think there is a way to substitute Johnsons and put Dwayne Johnson on the debate stage instead. That would be epic.

[Red Rocks Okey-Dokein]

"Let me tell ya something, Hillary--The Rock knows just by looking at you that he's not the only one that's into pie!"
"Trump, it doesn't matter what you think, you whisker-biscuit, burnt-orange bitch!"

[WTF]

Only if he agrees to do President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.

[Certified Public Asshat]

But, libertarian moment.

*tear rolls down cheek*

[Ska]

I bet you're an Indian posing as an Italian.

[Ayn Random Variation]

This is bs. There is no chance that 52% of voters know who he is or even that the LP exists.

[Citizen X]

He's not Hillary and he's not Trump, and that's plenty for most people.

[Princess Trigger]

You mean someone I've never heard of should participate in a talk show I won't watch?
YES!

[Zeb]

A lot of people don't like the 2 party thing, even if they almost vote for one of the two. Even among more mainstream types, there is a lot of frustration with the two parties as they stand.

[Free Society]

I'd honestly prefer qualified majority voting at the ballot box with the abolition of winner-take-all schemes for electoral votes. Might make for a more parliamentary situation of party coalitions.

[Zeb]

Parliamentary systems have their problems too, but that idea has it's appeal. At least make room for parties that can actually differentiate themselves based on more than doing whatever they can to appeal to slightly more than half the electorate.

[Free Society]

All statist systems have their irreconcilable problems. Short of a stateless society of competing producers of all economic goods, I'd prefer to abolish democracy altogether and establish a confederate system of privately owned and sovereign principalities of all sizes. But even in libertarian circles, that line of debate involves a whole lot of me jumping through hoops to make someone see the reasonableness of that case, because just about everyone including libertarians has about 300 years of political culture favoring "democracy" and large powerful states that has been ingrained into them.

[Zeb]

Given the choice, what you describe is how I'd rather things be as well. I'm certainly an anarchist temperamentally, but I have a hard time imagining how the An-Cap dream would ever actually come about. Unless we manage to actually start colonizing the moon or something (I've been reading some Heinlein lately).

The only real advantage I see to democracy (or the democratic aspects of the various kinds of large, powerful states that exist) is that it can confuse things and complicate things in a large powerful state enough that no one can fuck it up too badly. Or that's the idea at least. Doesn't seem to work all that well.

[Free Society]

The only real advantage I see to democracy (or the democratic aspects of the various kinds of large, powerful states that exist) is that it can confuse things and complicate things in a large powerful state enough that no one can fuck it up too badly.

I think the opposite happens. For two reasons: 1) Democracy lends legitimacy to tax rates, laws and government actions that if enacted by a hereditary monarch, would rightly be regarded as tyranny and oppression. ("government is us" argument) and 2) democracy incentives short term thinking and looting on the part of democratic politicians. Sort of like the difference between a temporary yet unaccountable caretaker living in your house versus that of you the owner who has a stronger incentive to preserve the capital value of your home.

[0x90]

I'm certainly an anarchist temperamentally, but I have a hard time imagining how the An-Cap dream would ever actually come about.

I tend to see it this way: the type of system is irrelevant, if the general mindset is toward rebelliousness, rather than servility.

Take an existing system, with its structure, hierarchy, bureaucracy, etc, but stipulate that in general, people are unwilling to cooperate, beyond whatever level they personally feel necessary. Such a people cannot be ruled by any tyrant, but they can make use of "government" structures for managing their collective affairs.

A subservient people, on the other hand, will be stomped by whatever type of system they find themselves under. Certainly, there will be what we may consider better or worse systems, but in the end, I see no possibility but that they must all tend toward totalitarianism.

[perlchpr]

Aren't many of those principalities likely to be democracies? I mean, I like it from the perspective of devolving power to more local structures, but I don't think you're abolishing democracy.

[Free Society]

I'm not talking about outlawing voting as a mechanism for decision-making in all instances, I'm talking about abolishing the power of some guy living in New York to have any legitimate say-so about matters of my life, liberty and property here in Ohio, and preferably the guy the next town over or even the guy down the street wouldn't have a say either. Democracy is least harmful on small scales and entirely benign in the voluntary associations for which it is suitable. It is however an unstable lootfest on the scale of hundreds of millions of people.

Where it concerns statism more generally, a smallish hereditary monarchy is less bad than democracy.

[Timon 19]

Where in Ohio?

[Free Society]

Between Toledo and Columbus

[Timon 19]

Oof.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Exactly. If the standard were, "Should the candidate from ___ Party be included in the debate?", there would be 4-5 people on stage each election. It isn't for a reason.

[The Fusionist]

Too bad you said "criteria" instead of "criterion."

[BigT]

52% want johnson. 48% have johnson.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Hillary Clinton's unfavorable ratings are now at 56 percent.

Meaningless.

[Rich]

Just wait until it's *100* percent!

[Libertarian]

Never. There will always be Chelsea.

[Billy Bones]

And her snatch-eating bestie, Huma. Weiner says Huma wouldn't fuck him no more and I suspect that is because Huma is too busy munching Hildebeast's carpet.

[Domestic Dissident]

So what you're saying is Huma Weiner will no longer be humming Little Weiner's little weiner?

[Red Rocks Okey-Dokein]

It's funny that Huma's coming off as a sympathetic figure in the latest Weiner scandal, because when you really look at the situation, she's about the furthest thing from it. This is someone who left the raising of her son to nannies and her sexual pervert husband in order to rack up frequent flyer miles serving as the well-paid body servant for an incontinent old woman.

Maybe if she had any maternal instincts or self-respect to begin with, she'd never have allowed this situation to transpire in the first place.

[Groovus Maximus]

Maybe if she had any maternal instincts or self-respect to begin with, she'd never have allowed this situation to transpire in the first place.

Self-Respect is the first thing thown into the loo in the quest for power.

[WTF]

It's pretty clear Anthony Weiner was just a beard to provide some cover for Huma's relationship with Hillary.

[Red Rocks Okey-Dokein]

It's pretty clear Anthony Weiner was just a beard to provide some cover for Huma's relationship with Hillary.

Probably--the whole thing really smacks of an arranged political marriage for the sake of accruing power. You've got a prot?g? of the most influential woman in the country hooking up with a bombastic, up-and-coming politician with a growing media profile and that isn't afraid to talk shit about the opposing party. If Weiner wasn't such a degenerate, he could have parlayed that into a Senate seat and possibly even a VP/Presidential nod down the road due to his sheer addiction to political campaigning.

Of course, now that Huma's about to become the shadow President anyway (wouldn't be a surprise if Hillary made her Chief of Staff), Weiner would have been a liability regardless.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Staffer: Unapproval ratings have hit 106%, madame.
Hillary (stroking her bush): That's good, right?

[Swiss Servator]

*turns green and races toward bathroom*

[If-by-whiskey]

*runs over Swiss on way*

[Overt]

At this point it is pretty clear that top levels of our government and media have been overtaken by the Sith. I am uncertain whether they are rivals, or whether Hillary has picked Trump as her disciple (I think it more likely that Huma is her disciple), but Occam's Razor removes all doubt that they are manipulating the country to come over to the dark side where our hate will fuel some massive star killing machine.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

Trump isn't her disciple, he's more like early Anakin--a dupe and a useful tool for Senator Palpatine's scheming. But if Huma ever dies, Trump may emerge as the next disciple.

[Libertarian]

You know who else had disciples?

[If-by-whiskey]

Frank Zappa?

[Princess Trigger]

It's to open the Portal.
"Hellraiser" was prophetic.
Hillary is Pinhead!

[Crusty Juggler]

You know she just has a tiny, blonde landing strip down there, right? I think that's what Whitewater was all about.

[Juvenile Bluster]

I hate all of you.

[Swiss Servator]

Seconded.

[Crusty Juggler]

Thirded.

[straffinrun]

Silly Crusty. That's unwiped Huma phlegm.

[Juvenile Bluster]

I hate you even more.

[Citizen X]

I don't feel so good.

[Groovus Maximus]

Buncha squeamish wimps... it's disgraceful.

[Injun, as in from India]

Hillary: My disapproval rating is at 56%
Trump: Are you challenging me? Just watch me beat you at your own game!!

[jarflax]

Jeb or GW?

[bacon-magic]

Go home, you've won today and deserve a break.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Just wait until it's *100* percent!

She'd still get at least 40% of the vote because GO TEAM BLUE! and/or NOT TEAM RED!

[Bee Tagger]

Hillary Clinton's unfavorable ratings are now at 56 percent.

Which, oddly enough, is probably the same percent of people that will vote for her in November.

[Swiss Servator]

*narrows gaze 56%*

[Just a thought not a sermon]

222) Slate's Christina Cauterucci comments on a research project where people assigned a fictional couple with the chores they should do around the house. The study found that even when the fictional couple was described as gay, respondents assigned the more feminine member with chores like cooking and housecleaning.

Actually, the study itself is kind of dumb, but Slate's response here is classic. The author writes that study participants "defaulted to?.recognizable stereotypes? A man who likes shopping and rom-coms, for instance, would get stuck with washing dishes and grocery shopping ?They tasked the more feminine partner of either gender with meeting the physical and emotional needs of children." The author literally cannot imagine there would be a reason other than gender stereotypes for people to assign tasks.

I also liked this: the "explosions?loving husband got to breathe the crisp fall air as he mowed the lawn." This woman, complaining about gendered housework stereotypes, does not know what time of year mowing takes place.

[UnCivilServant]

She had the luxury of staying indoors and having someone else take care of it.

[Crusty Juggler]

Lawns are mowed in the fall.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

When you think of mowing the lawn, do you picture the two times you have to mow in September and October, or the 20 times over the summer?

[robc]

In the summer, you dont have to mow as often, as it doesnt rain as much.

No need to mow the brown stuff.

/Does not apply to 2016

[Isaac Bartram]

In Florida, the rainy season is April thru September. I mow, maybe, once every two months October to March (if that).

The only reason I don't mow every week, April thru September, is because I'm not as fussy as everyone else.

[robc]

In the summer, you dont have to mow as often, as it doesnt rain as much.

No need to mow the brown stuff.

/Does not apply to 2016

[Zeb]

Applies where I am. I've probably mowed 5 times all summer.

[Agent Cooper]

Me too.

[Crusty Juggler]

The fall makes mowing seem more romantic.

[Red Rocks Okey-Dokein]

STEVE SMITH KNOW EVERY SEASON IS ONE FOR ROMANCE!

[Brett L]

I live in Central Florida, what is the difference between the words "October" and "summer"?

[bacon-magic]

October in Florida would be considered tourist season.

[Brett L]

September IS the superior summer month. Family tourists gone and snowbirds not yet here.

[Isaac Bartram]

I thought you were in Tallahassee.

[robc]

Yep. November is end of mowing season around here. Further south I would bet mowing is done in the winter too.

[Certified Public Asshat]

I am mowing in November, but it is leaves. Mowing leaves sucks.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Heh. A moving the lawn is not cathartic. To me anyway. But try and get a wife (or whatever they call those these days) to split those duties and see where that gets you.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Ugh. Mowing the lawn.

[sarcasmic]

My wife likes to mow the lawn. And I like to watch. While drinking a beer.

[Zeb]

I wouldn't call it cathartic, but I usually enjoy doing it. You get to feel productive and useful without expending much thought, which I need from time to time.

As far as dividing domestic chores goes, I say whoever has the time should do it. My wife doesn't work much, so I expect her to keep the house clean, do the laundry and such. Not because she is the woman, but because she isn't at work all day every day.

[John Titor]

Do none of you have children? Lawn work is what you make your kids do when they hit seven. My dad was always a bit of a control freak and lawn work was the only thing he'd let me do basically unsupervised from a young age. It beat holding ladders and flashlights.

[Brett L]

The best day of my childhood was when my younger brother got big enough to push the mower.

[Free Society]

Luckily I put up a fence in my backyard and I utterly ignored the city's demands that I only fence in a tiny portion of my backyard. The upshot is, my grass is like 18 inches tall and I don't have to do shit about it because no one can see it. I'll mow when ticks and wildlife begins to be a problem.

[widget]

What's a 'rom-com'?

[UnCivilServant]

A device to call autistic ferengi.

[Swiss Servator]

*polite applause*

[Rich]

A romantic comedy.

Please try to keep up.

[widget]

Thanks. That's kind of obvious now.

[Rich]

Please: "obv-no".

[SIV]

Romantic comedy

[sarcasmic]

Here, hth

[Crusty Juggler]

A film starring Doris Day, Rock Hudson, and Tony Randall.

[Libertarian]

Well, that does sound pretty gay.

[Brett L]

And still manlier than Batman v. Superman. I watched it on the plane ride last week. I am definitely rooting for Lex Luthor in that universe.

[bacon-magic]

Lex Luthor sucked in that also. Wonder woman had the most appeal.

[Brett L]

The New Wonder Woman looks like she would get snapped like a twig by the Real Wonder Woman. Everybody sucks in that movie. But at least if Luthor wins, everybody dies.

[Injun, as in from India]

Biology. How does that work again?

Leftists keep trying to "reform" culture and keep running into evolutionary headwinds.

[lap83]

"explosions?loving husband got to breathe the crisp fall air as he mowed the lawn."

I grew up rotating lawn duties with my siblings so I'm used to it, but my fucking (female) roommates (went through 3 or 4 total) never mowed the lawn at the house I rented before I got married. More often than not, people just seem to gravitate towards the chores that they learned to do from their parents. Sometimes it's gender-specific sometimes not.

[Eternal Blue Sky]

"defaulted to?.recognizable stereotypes? A man who likes shopping and rom-coms, for instance, would get stuck with washing dishes and grocery shopping ?They tasked the more feminine partner of either gender with meeting the physical and emotional needs of children."

Maybe... just MAYBE, it's because you defined as "feminine stereotypes" things that imply aptitude with certain chores!! The guy in the relationship who "likes shopping" is in charge of "grocery shopping"?? No shit when you define "shopping" as femininity the person who is "feminine" ends up doing the shopping!!

Also the one who likes movies about emotions is in charge of the emotional needs of the children?? Again, that makes some degree of sense.

It's like if we defined "Manliness" as proportional to one's cooking skill we'd obviously find that the more manly partner in a relationship did all the cooking, because the chore defines the adjective.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Guy who likes shopping assigned to shop. That seems fair to me...

[Ayn Random Variation]

I'm sure the author is ready for hillary because female, though.

[Auric Demonocles]

the "explosions?loving husband got ... [mow] the lawn."

That makes sense, unless I missed electric lawn mowers becoming a big thing lately. If the wife doesn't like explosions don't put her near the constantly exploding substance.

[UnCivilServant]

I have an electric lawnmower - because I have one roadside margin to mow and it required less year over year maintenence. The fact that it's a piece of shit in terms of ability to mow is offset by the small area to be tended and the fact that it's still less troublesome than using a weed whacker.

[Zeb]

So what? Who cares what tasks other people would assign? Couples can decide on their own how to divide up domestic tasks. I don't give a fuck how they do it. If traditional gender roles are largely maintained despite it being quite obvious to everyone that you do have a choice, maybe there is a good (or neutral at least) reason for it.

[Illocust]

My favorite part of that was the shock that you would assign the shopping to the person that likes shopping. I mean OMG how would that make any logical sense?

[Fist of Etiquette]

"At the start of the conversation with Donald Trump, I made it clear that Mexico will not pay for the wall," Pe?a Nieto tweeted.

Just meaning he thinks Mexicans are Welshers.

[Cyto]

This doesn't dispute his account. Trump said they didn't discuss it.

Me issuing an edict to Fist is not the same thing as the two of us discussing something.

I really wish people would stop with the Trump overreach. The guy is enough of a buffoon on his own.

[Guy Behind the Guy, Jr.]

I really wish people would stop with the Trump overreach. The guy is enough of a buffoon on his own.

You must be a secret Trump voter!

[John DeWitt]

Or maybe you are! You're just calling him out first to keep the Spotlight of Social Peer Pressure off your ass...

[commodious readies for the end]

Report to Facebook for your social shaming.

[Cyto]

That's exactly why I'm pissed about all the overreach. I keep getting put in the position of defending the town idiot.

He's bad enough all by himself. You don't need to give it any extra spin.

I still don't understand anything about this campaign. He's been an incoherent mess, he has spent pretty much zero on advertising, he's been treated as a pariah across all mainstream media forms and by all prominent celebrity types. Yet he's effectively within striking distance.

This makes no sense. Except, "Oh, yeah. He's running against Hillary".

Which reminds me of the worst insult I ever received. When I was in high school we decided to form a soccer team. We were a tiny school, and at the time only the 4A schools had soccer. So our only opponents were big schools with national reputations. We lost a lot. Like all the time.

We only won 2 games my senior year. Both against the same big 4A school. The second time we beat them the entire team quit and they abandoned having a soccer team for several years. Their position was "If we can't even beat those guys, we shouldn't have a team at all".

They weren't wrong. We were terrible. But we did win all of the fights.... so there is that. I think kids got in fights at sporting events a lot more back then than they do now. We only had to run laps if we got in a fight. Nobody got expelled or anything. And they certainly didn't call the police.

[commodious readies for the end]

Speaking of epic insults, Jimmy Carr has a good one.

Heckler: MY MUM DIED OF CANCER!
Carr: Er. First off, I wasn't discussing mums, and secondly I wasn't discussing cancer.
Heckler: No, but it was a lot funnier than this.

[Cyto]

That can't be true. But it is fantastic.

[Azathoth!!]

You must be a secret Trump voter!

Everyone is.

But it's secret.

ssssshhhhhh!!

[Zeb]

I really wish people would stop with the Trump overreach. The guy is enough of a buffoon on his own.

I agree as far as that goes. Same goes for many comments about Hillary and Obama (no, he didn't actually think there were 57 states). They are all so awful, it's really just silly and counter productive to keep harping on crap that is made up or doesn't matter when there is plenty of substantive stuff to criticize them over.

[Cyto]

Yeah, that's a more civic minded reason, which I agree with.

I'm mostly spouting for selfish reasons of not liking being put in the position of appearing to take Trump's side. But most discussions of politics revolve around exactly the silly and counterproductive stuff that is made up or doesn't matter. Which is really frustrating for folks like the weirdo libertarian .

[Zeb]

And the Welsh are Mexicaners.

[SugarFree]

"North Korea has executed a vice premier for showing disrespect during a meeting presided over by leader Kim Jong-Un, South Korea said Wednesday, after reports that he fell asleep."

This shouldn't be an executable offense if your entire country is out of coffee.

[widget]

I read in a few places that that the NKs are hyped up on meth. Not sure about that but it's plausible. I think Trump will be injecting meth into the water supply when he kicks the Mexicans out.

[SugarFree]

If nodding off was a capital offense I'd be hitting the crystal as well.

[perlchpr]

That was my thought when I read the link.

"Well, now we know why crank is so popular with the Norks."

[Princess Trigger]

We'll need the energy to mow the lawns.

[Lord Humungus]

saw this - behind the WSJ paywall:

Take the Pledge: No More Indulging Porn
Anthony Weiner isn't alone. We need an honest dialogue on the dangers of pornography.
By Shmuley Boteach and Pamela Anderson

[Crusty Juggler]

Hey, Rabbi and The Hep, you will have to pry porn from my dead, severely calloused hands.

[Injun, as in from India]

LOL @ The Hep

[Crusty Juggler]

Thank you.

[Groovus Maximus]

You've earned it.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

For her, the danger being you might end up married for five minutes to Tommy Lee?

[Lee Genes]

Weiner was just a victim of our base society.

[Rich]

It depends on where you decide the base is.

[straffinrun]

*Gag reflex*

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Don't try to go down so far.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Weiner has lots of pictures to show you just where it is.

[Groovus Maximus]

Avoid his Rorsacht Test, no telling what was used to create the gestalt spots.

[Bee Tagger]

"What I heard today was not realistic and not compassionate," Monty said.

Look, we can be realistic or we can be compassionate but we can't be both. However, we can definitely be neither.

[perlchpr]

"When we met [earlier in August] he was going to approach this issue with a realistic plan, a compassionate plan, with a plan that was not disruptive to the immigrants that were here that were not lawbreakers," said Monty

I hate to be all pedantic here, but aren't all of the illegal immigrants in the country by definition "lawbreakers"? I mean, even if we want to debate whether that law should exist, it certainly does.

I dunno. I think the obvious answer of "permanent residency and work permits, no citizenship or voting for 20 years" is pretty obvious, solves the problem, and eliminates the "we're importing Democrats" concern.

[Rich]

52 percent of voters think Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson should be included

Yeah? Well, fuck 'em.

[Fist of Etiquette]

"What I heard today was not realistic and not compassionate," Monty said.

Stick around, Jacob. He'll say something different tomorrow.

[WTF]

Trump had previously said he was going to have deportation squads round up illegals and deport them all. Which was apparently fine with Monty, but yesterday's speech was unacceptable? I'm smelling some bullshit here.

[Princess Trigger]

Check didn't clear.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

Alt text: I'll take five beers.

[Lord Humungus]

Meanwhile in Canada:

Nudity, milk follow bear spray accident in Penticton: police

RCMP spokesman Cpl. Don Wrigglesworth said officers were called to a local gas station shortly before 2 a.m. on Aug. 24 to find the victim completely naked.

"He was in excruciating pain and vigorously using his shirt to scrub his genitals with homogenized milk in an attempt to relieve the pain," said Wrigglesworth.

The man told police he had been attacked by three unknown men, but Wrigglesworth said an investigation revealed the spray pattern "was consistent with the alleged victim carrying his own can of bear spray and it went off unintentionally."

He said the victim then became unco-operative.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Been to Penticton.

Anyways...

[SugarFree]

He should have used a soda. Sugar neutralizes capsaicin and milk doesn't have enough.

[Lee Genes]

That's tough for you I guess.

[SugarFree]

I just try not to spray it on my balls.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Miyagi or Yoda say: "There is no try, there is only do"

[Rich]

Speaking of capsaicin:

British chef went temporarily DEAF after eating the world's hottest noodles

"Everybody who tried them threw up outside in the drain. They're known as 'death noodles'"

Good stuff!

[UnCivilServant]

What's the point? Are they trying to cater to bulemic masochists?

[Guy Behind the Guy, Jr.]

My GOD, you don't like anything, UCS!

[Citizen X]

It is known. UCS has raised premature curmudgeonliness to an art form.

[EDG reppin LBC]

Death Noodles.

Good band name.

[WTF]

Anthony Weiner's new sexting handle.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Guy I used to work for would make chili, where he'd cook down various hot peppers and decant off the oil.

First time I tried it, made my ears ring, and it was literally beyond hot. An almost religious experience. True endorphin rush.

2nd time I added some crackers which lowered the heat down into the very upper reaches of hot and made it almost unbearable to eat.

[Rich]

bear spray accident

Nice album name.

[Swiss Servator]

STEVE SMITH NOT IMPRESSED BY CANADIAN BEAR SPRAY. IT FUNNY LIKE WARMING KY....

[Agent Cooper]

Yeah, but he still gets to go home and mow.

[Bee Tagger]

"At the start of the conversation with Donald Trump, I made it clear that Mexico will not pay for the wall," Pe?a Nieto tweeted.

I'm not sure if introducing someone else's point that is laughable and non-serious is in your benefit.

[invisible furry hand]

This is what a koala's mating cry sounds like

[Bee Tagger]

New poll: 52 percent of voters think Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson should be included on the presidential debate stage.

Unless there were more than two options on this poll, I'm going to accuse it of being biased toward a two-answer system.

[Bee Tagger]

WHO DO I BLAME FOR THIS OBVIOUS MISTAKE ON MY PART?

[Citizen X]

Just roll with it ,Dude LOL

http://www.imissanonbot.tk/NelsonMuntz.gif

[Agent Cooper]

Obviously Koala Mating Cry = Libertarian Lamentations.

[Glide]

Should Gary Johnson get to debate?

Yes 15%
No 14%
TACOS! 71%

Oh damn, you're right.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Whose doesn't?

[Swiss Servator]

OK, I larfed.

[Hamster of Doom]

Hillary Clinton's unfavorable ratings are now at 56 percent.

Everyone's going to change their minds after she seizes power. You'll see. She'll give everyone exactly what they always wanted most. All shall love her and despair.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Florida is bracing for a tropical storm.

Expecto Landfallum!

[Brett L]

I'm not saying its my fault, but in summer 2004 I moved to Florida from Texas and two seasons worth of hurricanes made landfall. This summer, I moved to Florida from Texas. Either my job prospects are joined to hurricane landfalls in FL by some crazy chaos theory math, or shit just happens.

[SugarFree]

"I've been waiting all day for this, you filthy son of a bitch!" the hat growled.

Across the littered hotel floor, the other hat rasped back, "Que es, el culo!" The stitching across its front had obviously been made in haste, the letters were crooked and the ends of threads bristled menacingly: MAKE MEXICO GREAT AGAIN.

"You're in America, now! Speak American, you wetback fuck!"

"Pendejo!"

The hair, hanging from a lampshade, crowed "AMERICA HAT Versus MEXICO HAT! FIGHT!" Beside him on the bed, the snoring bulk of Donald rolled over ponderously and farted wetly.

America Hat gurgling with rage and pulled himself forward with an awkward flapping of his sweat-stained bill. Mexico Hat lashed out with his adjustable strap, swiping the other hat painfully across a tender eyelet.

"You'll pay for that, Jos?!"

"No tengo que pagar por nada, puta! Y mi nombre no es Jos?!"

They leapt at each other, grappled, and rolled under the bed together.

"No!" yelled the hair. "Come back! I want to watch!"

"I like to watch," he whimpered as the two hats grunted under the bed.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

We've had body horror, now there's some hand-to-hand (bill-to-bill?) combat. The only thing left is a car chase.

[SugarFree]

Don't be silly. How would a hat drive a car?

[Juvenile Bluster]

The hat steers, the hair works the pedals.

[SugarFree]

Dammit. Why didn't I think of that?!?

[Swiss Servator]

There is still time before November to work that in....

[Rufus The Monocled]

If Canada is America's hat, doesn't that make Mexico America's diaper or underwear?

I'M JUST FOLLOWING AMERICAN LOGIC.

[SugarFree]

Someone's jealous.

(Trump made Rudy Giuliani and Jeff Sessions wear a "Make Mexico Great Again Also" hat yesterday, if anyone missed it. )

[Citizen X]

Seriously? That's hilarious.

[SugarFree]

Not a great photo, but here's one.

[Rufus The Monocled]

/gently stokers hat.

And.

That's priceless. But it presupposes Mexico was once great to begin with.

[Citizen X]

Maybe Trump wants to resurrect the Triple Alliance?

[Domestic Dissident]

Mexico became great when the conquistadors came in and told the Aztecs that their days of rolling chopped-off heads down pyramids was over.

[Citizen X]

"No more killing people to keep the sun lit! Now you have to kill people who believe the wrong stuff about a Jewish carpenter."

[Brett L]

The did once fend off an attack by a Napoleon. On the 5th of May. Also known as White People Get Hammered on Margaritas Day.

[Groovus Maximus]

doesn't that make Mexico America's diaper or underwear?

America's Cargo Shorts.)

[Brett L]

Nah. America's wang is out and proud.

[R C Dean]

I was hoping for a sombrero, myself.

The hat-to-hat combat is excellent, though.

[Lord Humungus]

Police: Florida man dressed as dinosaur arrested with airsoft rifle

A Florida man was arrested Sunday after police said he was found roaming around a park with an airsoft rifle and wearing a dinosaur costume.

Anthony Berden, 19, was found walking around a Cocoa-area park in a "gamer dinosaur-type costume" with a tactical police-type vest and black ski mask while holding an airsoft rifle and multiple magazines for the gun on Sunday, WFLA reported. Police said Berden told them he was "part of a gaming group" and "wanted to participate in a flash mob."

He was arrested on suspicion of disorderly conduct and wearing a mask while committing an offense at the park.

[Cyto]

Can this be a brickbat?

Holy crap, we've lost our minds.

[WTF]

Suspicion of disorderly conduct? How the fuck is that even a thing? Either he was disorderly or he wasn't.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

He had his hands in his pockets and was wishing a little too casually just after something disorderly occurred.

[Citizen X]

A Florida man was arrested Sunday after police said he was found roaming around a park with an airsoft rifle and wearing a dinosaur costume.

You know, as one does.

[Brett L]

Sadly this is about a 3 on the FL weirdness scale. Real gun would have brought it to 4. Hunting Pokemon players to about a 6.

[Citizen X]

The top half of a dinosaur costume and nothing else would make it, what, about 6.5?

[thom]

suspicion of disorderly conduct and wearing a mask while committing an offense at the park.

So they were unable to determine whether he was being disorderly? Will an investigation occur to find out whether disorderly conduct occurred? How can they charge him with wearing a mask while committing an offense if they only suspect that he committed an offense?

Sounds to me like this is a case of somebody who wasn't breaking any laws being arrested for being eccentric.

[Fist of Etiquette]

"North Korea has executed a vice premier for showing disrespect during a meeting presided over by leader Kim Jong-Un, South Korea said Wednesday, after reports that he fell asleep."

He'd heard it all before.

[straffinrun]

That's why their news anchors scream.

[Lord Humungus]

Bigfoot is anxious about the state of his state

spend most of my time in the far north of the state ? there's a reason Siskiyou, Del Norte and Humboldt counties boast the most sightings of yours truly. I'm particularly loyal to the tiny Humboldt County town of Willow Creek, the world's unofficial Bigfoot capital. This Labor Day weekend, as usual, I'll ride down Willow Creek's Main Street in the parade for the annual Bigfoot Days celebration, check in on my artifacts a local museum, and watch the lawn mower race, the hirsute's answer to the Grand Prix.

Seeing old friends will be fun. But I must confess I miss the solitude I used to enjoy when I had California's wilder areas mostly to myself.

These days, I'm encountering so many people in our state's once-remote precincts that I can hardly get a moment's peace. The marijuana-industrial complex is relentlessly pushing into the lightly populated regions I favor; the noise of their trucks ? bringing in soil, shipping out the finished product ? disturbs my sleep. California's urban housing shortage is forcing more people to build in places near my remote haunts. And that doesn't include the homeless, who don't just live in cities. I can't walk a ridge on state or federal lands without running into a new encampment.

[SugarFree]

You sure have been Bigfoot-obsessed lately. Have you started dating a WNBA player or something?

[Lord Humungus]

I came for the libertarian talk, I stay for the STEVE SMITH jokes.

[Mr Lizard]

STEVE SMITH NOT HERE FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT, BUT WELCOME TO ENJOY SHOW IF YOU CAN

[Citizen X]

STEVE SMITH HAVE WAY OF STICKING IN ONE'S MIND. ALSO STICK IN ONE'S ORIFICES.

[Unreconstructed (Sans Flag)]

STEVE SMITH HAVE WAY OF STICKING IN ONE'S MIND. ALSO STICK IN ONE'S ORIFICESGENERALLY THROUGH EYE SOCKET.

FTFY

[Rufus The Monocled]

"North Korea has executed a vice premier for showing disrespect during a meeting presided over by leader Kim Jong-Un, South Korea said Wednesday, after reports that he fell asleep."

All the socialist millionaire celebrities and left-wing political hacks are gonna comment on this right, RIGHT?

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Not when there's a Trump remark or a dead zoo animal to Twitter about

[Lord Humungus]

WISCONSIN: Trump Closing in on Clinton as Likely Voter Lead Collapses From 15 Points to Margin of Error Tie

The presidential race and U.S. Senate contest have tightened in Wisconsin, according to Thursday's Marquette University Law School Poll.

In the race for the White House, Democrat Hillary Clinton led Republican Donald Trump by 42% to 37% among registered voters. Clinton also led Trump, 45% to 42% among voters who said they are certain to go to the polls in the fall.

?Three weeks ago, Clinton held a 10-point lead over Trump among registered voters and a 15-point lead among likely voters.

Essentially, the presidential race is close to where it was before the two parties held their national conventions, Franklin said.

[Brett L]

At this point you could tell me Trump was going to carry 40 states or 10 and I would believe you.

[Eternal Blue Sky]

Oh fuck no. Please. The Democrats have won in the last seven presidential elections in Wisconsin. They... they finally say we aren't a battleground state any longer. We're unmolested by the usual flood of political ads that accompanies the presidential cycle...

If... if Trump wins the state we go back to being battleground and drowning in advertising...

[invisible furry hand]

Australian politician takes money from company connected with China, and starts pushing a pro-China line.

Purely coincidentally, of course.

[Rich]

"I learned it from *Hillary*, OK?!"

[WTF]

No. Smoking. Gun.
Or fire, whatever.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

There is a lot of smoke but no gun?

[Chip Woodier]

Where did he get such a crazy idea like that?

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Proposed law would force German women to divulge adultery in child support disputes
BERLIN ? Women in Germany could be forced to reveal the names of the biological fathers of their children under a proposed new law.

The controversial measure will force women to divulge acts of adultery or infidelity during a relationship.

It has already been dubbed the "Cuckoo Kids' Law" by the German press, after the German phrase for children conceived in adultery. Heiko Maas, the justice minister, said the law, which will be presented to Angela Merkel's cabinet Tuesday, would make it easier to resolve who was responsible for paying child support.

Women will be obliged to name "the man who was present at the moment of conception" on request of a partner who is paying child support, according to a draft released by the justice ministry.....

[Lee Genes]

Yes your honor, it was him.

Case closed.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Women: Yes, your honor. It was him. Wait. I'm not sure. All these Germans look the same in a bukkake!

[Just a thought not a sermon]

Does not Germany not have DNA paternity testing?

[UnCivilServant]

In most family courts, a woman's say-so trumps DNA results.

[invisible furry hand]

Or a phrase for "biological father"?

[Citizen X]

They do, but it's one word that takes nearly a minute and a half to say.

[Hamster of Doom]

Or fraud? We should tell them. Hey, Teutons, we* invented this really neat law that applies to anyone who misrepresents the nature of, well, anything really, for personal gain. No more making a new law for every little time humans are tempted to get something for nothing! It's an amazing new breakthrough in legal efficiency.

*Full disclosure: We probably didn't invent it.

[straffinrun]

Their making women finger the men? Crazy Krauts.

[Swiss Servator]

*narrows gaze*

You people are wearing me out lately. Good thing a three day weekend is coming up.

[Injun, as in from India]

"Cuckoo Kids"?

With a black dad, the alt-Reich crowd will call them "Cuck Kids".

[Swiss Servator]

"the alt-Reich crowd"

*stands, applauds, presents trophy and sash*

[Cyto]

The odd thing is that this is outrageous or controversial.

On would think that forcing someone to care for and pay for another person's children against his will would be the outrageous and controversial act.

[WTF]

Well it's not, because fuck men.

[Auric Demonocles]

But which men, specifically?

[Illocust]

Sounds good. People shouldn't be forced to pay for children they didn't adopt or conceive.

[Crusty Juggler]

Science Says Pizza Can Make You More Productive at Work

Compared with the control group, the number of computer chips produced by the pizza group after the first day of the experiment increased by 6.7 percent. However, the workers were also suckers for flattery: the complimentary text message group came in a close second with an increase of 6.6 percent. The cash bonus group, however, lagged behind with an increase of only 4.9 percent.

Over the course of the week, while the cash incentive gradually decreased productivity by 6.5 percent, pizza and compliments made workers stay above the productivity baseline set by the control group.

These were Jews, too. Pizza is powerful...

Compliments ultimately won out over pizza

Oh.

[Rich]

Compliments ultimately won out over pizza

"Your work is almost as good as a pizza!"

[Citizen X]

I don't care much about compliments, but i could go for some pizza.

[Crusty Juggler]

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Agent Cooper]

Jerk.

/media

[Groovus Maximus]

Why not complimentary pizza?)

[Swiss Servator]

How about a complimentary pizza?

[invisible furry hand]

"Hey these are expensive plates! Not everyone would be classy enough to serve pizzas on plates, let alone ones that aren't chipped! Go on, take two slices of me - you're so skinny you can eat all of me and still look cute! God, you really know how to hold a slice right. You know, I'm so honoured to be eaten by you tonight."

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

I'm so honoured to be eaten by you tonight.

Is this a come-on? Are you hitting on Swiss?

[Groovus Maximus]

PWNED

[Certified Public Asshat]

These were Jews, too.

Orthodox? What good is pizza if there is no meat on it?

[bacon-magic]

Deep dish is the greatest reward.

[Hamster of Doom]

New poll: 52 percent of voters think Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson should be included on the presidential debate stage.

If they don't want to participate in the TEAM marketplace, it's hardly fair to let them distort the market itself. We have rules.

[Lord Humungus]

Exclusive: U.S., others agreed to 'secret' exemptions for Iran after nuclear deal - report

The United States and its negotiating partners agreed "in secret" to allow Iran to evade some restrictions in last year's landmark nuclear agreement in order to meet the deadline for it to start getting relief from economic sanctions, according to a report reviewed by Reuters.

The report is to be published on Thursday by the Washington-based Institute for Science and International Security, said the think tank's president David Albright, a former U.N. weapons inspector and co-author of the report. It is based on information provided by several officials of governments involved in the negotiations, who Albright declined to identify.

Reuters could not independently verify the report's assertions.

"The exemptions or loopholes are happening in secret, and it appears that they favor Iran," Albright said.

Among the exemptions were two that allowed Iran to exceed the deal's limits on how much low-enriched uranium (LEU) it can keep in its nuclear facilities, the report said. LEU can be purified into highly enriched, weapons-grade uranium.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Multi-layered, multi-dimensional foreign policy work right there, friends.

[Injun, as in from India]

Did the Senate ever ratify this treaty... err.. agreement?

[John DeWitt]

Ha, that's so 18th century.

[Lord Humungus]

Iceland unearths rock to appease angry elves

Sveinn Zophoniasson, who works for the Bass road construction company, told the paper that his woes began in August 2015 in Siglufjordur, close to the site of the so-called "elfin lady stone" that was covered with earth following efforts to cleat a mudslide from a highway.

After the landslide was cleared, the road was subsequently flooded and a colleague of Zophoniasson who came to clear the route was injured. Then industrial machinery began to fail and a journalist who came to cover the growing chaos fell into a mud pool and had to be pulled to safety.

"Nobody even thought of the rock," even though the area is regarded as a sacred place in local folklore, said Zophoniasson.

The decision was made that the Iceland Road Administration would unearth the rock -- an artefact according to a 2012 law to protect Iceland's elfin heritage -- and it was subsequently cleaned with a pressure washer last week.

Elves are described by the hundreds of people who claim to have seen them as simple, normally peaceful creatures that look like humans -- but smaller.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

That's a good idea. You definitely don't want the elves sending this guy to your house:

http://comicvine.gamespot.com/.....005-24827/

[Rich]

*** ponders modification to "Elf on the Shelf" ***

[invisible furry hand]

If the Clinton Foundation was a high-minded charity, what was Sid Blumenthal doing working there?

Jonah Goldberg uses phrases like "taffy-like saliva", which makes me wonder if he's channelling his inner Mr Free.

[Lord Humungus]

Get out of my bunker!

A Dark, Cold, Sexless Ant Colony Thrives in a Nuclear Bunker

In the summer, the ants climb the walls of the bunker, perhaps in an effort to touch the warmer air coming from above. But the researcher saw no ants on the ceiling, and no evidence that any of them had ever returned to the mother colony above.

If the ants closer to the surface had self-awareness of their plight, surely by now they would have developed some complicated mythology about those lost down the pipe, destined to toil away below and never to return. They are the chosen ones, off to serve some higher purpose, they tell one another. Their work must mean something, though they are blinded to it in the darkness.

But here we are, like the omniscient narrator of some perfect dystopian fiction, and we know the truth: The war is over, and your cold, sexless mound serves no purpose except to bring some small comfort to the latest batch of arrivals that there is still some work to be done.

[Private Chipperbot]

Wool?

[SugarFree]

Or The Penultimate Truth by Philip K. Dick.

[Rich]

Ultra-violent gangs thrive in chaotic Venezuela despite crackdown

Welly-welly-well!

[Injun, as in from India]

Ultra-violent. No sunscreen can save you.

[straffinrun]

Burn

[ant1sthenes]

Just pick up your drencrom from the Korova milkbar.

[Groovus Maximus]

I accidentally (had a massive brain fart, tried to play it off as a "'furriner mistake" - she knew better than that and didn't accept the excuse) called my wife ??????, instead of ????????, whilst we were engaged. I paid rather dearly for that one...

[UnCivilServant]

Could you assume that I don't know what either of those words mean or the significance of the mistake (which would be fairly accurate) and explain what happened?

[Groovus Maximus]

Moja Korova == "My cow"; Moja Koroleva == "My queen"

She was not pleased...

[UnCivilServant]

Sounds like an understatement.

[Get To Da Chippah]

Maybe Hillary can save Venezuela from the rampant evils of capitalism.

[Rufus The Monocled]

I told you capitalism was poison!

/all the progs.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Rational Male: Losing My Religion
...Church culture is now openly hostile towards any expression of conventional masculinity that doesn't directly benefit women and actively conditions men to be serviceable, gender-loathing Betas. The feminist narrative of "toxic masculinity" has entirely replaced any semblance of what traditional masculinity or manhood once was to the church. Any hint of a masculinity not entirely beholden to a now feminine-primary purpose is not only feared, but shamed with feminine-interpreted aspersions of faith....

[Longtorso, Johnny]

...Men declining to participate in faith-based marriage decline an aspect of a faith reset to serve women; women who are held as a higher order of sinless being than men by this new church. For the agnostic or areligious man, discarding a Blue Pill social conditioning for a Red Pill awareness is a difficult task, but for men raised to believe that their only doctrinally approved path to sex with a woman is abstinence until marriage, that man's only hope is to accept his fate and stay the Beta a feminized church has conditioned him to be.

And once he gets to marriage and his approved expression of his sexuality, the "Christian" man finds that the feminized church, even the male elders, expect endless qualifications to women and his wife's unceasing appeasement in exchange for that approved sex. It's a tail-chasing that holds men to the old books social order expectations while absolving women of all accountability and expecting him to also make concessions for a new (feminized) social order that's ensaturated the church....

[Lord Humungus]

c'mon churches are a great place to pick up chicks,

[Lee Genes]

Says someone who has probably never been to church

[Citizen X]

Or meaningfully interacted with a woman not related to him.

[lap83]

but for men raised to believe that their only doctrinally approved path to sex with a woman is abstinence until marriage, that man's only hope is to accept his fate and stay the Beta a feminized church has conditioned him to be.

The writer gets laid so much since he stopped going to church, you guys don't even know

[Just a thought not a sermon]

This makes sense because all churches are exactly the same.

[robc]

I was gonna comment with "clearly the author hasnt been to my church", but you covered it.

[Glide]

I always laugh at those articles lamenting the sad state of churches. ALL CHURCHES.

Are there people who attend a different church every month for 15 years to get the required sample size to write about these trends?

[Eternal Blue Sky]

From the Other Side of the Crazy Spectrum, masculinity is a bad thing and encouraged by churches:

http://www.religionnews.com/2016/08/3.....ining-men/

[Libertarian]

"Jacob Monty, a member of Donald Trump's National Hispanic Advisory Council, has resigned from that group in response to Trump's immigration speech yesterday. "What I heard today was not realistic and not compassionate,""

I disagree with Trump on immigration and I think he's a buffoon, but I find it humorous that the U.S. embassy warned him not to visit Mexico because they couldn't guarantee his safety. Seems like that only justifies his position.

[The Late P Brooks]

Sophisticated analysis

Apple has engaged in increasingly aggressive tax avoidance for at least a decade, including stashing some $100 billion in Ireland without paying taxes on much of it anywhere in the world, according to a Senate investigation in 2013. In a display of arrogance, the company seemed to believe that its arrangements in a known tax haven like Ireland would never be deemed illegal ? even as European regulators cracked down in similar cases against such multinational corporations as Starbucks, Amazon, Fiat and the German chemical giant BASF.

Congress, for its part, has sat idly by as American corporations have indulged in increasingly intricate forms of tax avoidance made possible by the interplay of an outmoded corporate tax code and modern globalized finance. The biggest tax dodge in need of reform involves deferral, in which American companies can defer paying taxes on foreign-held profits until those sums are repatriated.

NYT editorial board doesn't believe any revenue should be safe from the grasping hand of government.

Howling mob in comments agrees.

[Rufus The Monocled]

As per usual, NYT and its band of retarded commenters are off the mark.

[Injun, as in from India]

For us proles, there really is no tax avoidance right? We can't afford to incorporate in the Cayman Islands or Luxembourg or Ireland.

At the most, you can avoid state taxes by incorporating in a no-income tax state, electing corporate taxation, and parking that money until you move to a no-income tax state and then drawing that money.

[The Late P Brooks]

Example:

njglea is a trusted commenter Seattle 1 day ago
Good Job, European Union Competition Commissioner
Margrethe Vestager! It's about time someone has the courage to go after these corporate thieves. Now we have to make sure lawmakers and judges do not let Apple off the hook and demand that OUR United States authorities go after all of these greedy corporations as well. It is time to knock these tax-evading greedsters down to size by taxing back all the wealth they have stolen over the last 40+ years.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Like I said.

They don't even know how retarded they are.

[Injun, as in from India]

(In a Sixth Sense voice)

"I see retarded people. And they don't even know they are retarded."

[straffinrun]

That is actually one of my fears. I volunteer at a school for kids with Down's Syndrome. Be there tomorrow, in fact. What if, what if, I'm really a student there and they let me think that I'm a volunteer. Roberto Begnini could win another Oscar.

[Get To Da Chippah]

I had new windows and a patio door installed at my condo last week. By that I mean money was stolen from me in the form of a check I wrote to the company and windows and a door I asked for were pout into place by two people. The windows and door are great though.

[Get To Da Chippah]

Uh, put into place. I'm only pouting now, about being robbed.

[commodious readies for the end]

put into place by two people wage slaves

[Guy Behind the Guy, Jr.]

Damn, PBrooks, tell me that's a phony commenter: "Seattle", "corporate thieves", "tax-evading greedsters", "stolen" wealth...that has to be someone doing a bit. It just has to be.../starts weeping

[SugarFree]

If so, then 90% of commenters on the Seattle Times website are phony, because they all sound just like that.

[Citizen X]

Trying to keep money earned by providing goods that people like is theft.

Sending armed goons to take said money is courageous and right.

?_?

[commodious readies for the end]

Forget it, Jake. It's prog town.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Plus following the law in order to do so

[straffinrun]

That idiot thinks BOTH the EU and the US should be throttling Apple for doing something fully legal and fiscally smart.

[commodious readies for the end]

That idiot thinks

Nope.

[John DeWitt]

Yeah, I'm sure I have very little in common with that person. But the problem is that this just smacks of cronyism. I certainly am not able to find a way to reduce my taxable profits to the single digits. Apple did, because they cut individual deals at various levels with different governments.

Capitalism should cut both ways...you don't get regulated to death, but you also certainly don't get special deals because you filled my coffers on your way into the sanctuar---er, capitol building. Letting the government decide which rules apply to which entities is what leads folks to believe capitalism is flawed.

[OneOut]

Was that screed posted using an iphone ?

[The Late P Brooks]

Another:

Rita is a trusted commenter California 1 day ago
How nice of the Congress to make sure Ireland gets the benefit of our corporate tax loopholes. Let's check the emails of the senators and representatives to look for the Irish connection.

[Injun, as in from India]

Woman to Ben Franklin: "What do we have, Dr. Franklin?"
Ben Franklin: "A banana republic ma'am, because you are all buffoons with voting rights."

[WTF]

Hey, be fair, it took over 200 years to get to full banana republic!

[Free Society]

But the food alone is worth the trip.

[The Grinch]

God, the more the two major party candidates make themselves visible to the public the worse their numbers get and one of them is STILL going to win. It looks like the best strategy for both Clinton and Trump is to keep their damn mouths shut and let the other yammer on while their favorability numbers plummet. What a sorry state of affairs this is. It really looks like we need to stick a fork in the American experiment.

[Red Rocks Okey-Dokein]

It looks like the best strategy for both Clinton and Trump is to keep their damn mouths shut and let the other yammer on while their favorability numbers plummet.

Why do you think Hillary hasn't held a press conference in over 250 days and her campaign rallies have all the energy and attendance of a church potluck? Her handlers know damn well that the more she talks, the less people like her.

It's not exactly a coincidence that her numbers went negative after her "alt-right" speech, which is the most substantive presentation on policy or social issues that she's had in weeks.

[Illocust]

What sucks is that we don't see her get called on it. The press should be howling about one of the candidates hiding from them.

[Crusty Juggler]

Hey Netflix, you do you, but you gave a lot of money to Adam Sandler, and now there is this: Bill Nye returns to TV in 2017 with Netflix talk show

Netflix described the show's aspirations to "refute anti-scientific claims that may be espoused by politicians, religious leaders, or titans of industry"?so the show is clearly aiming to maintain the junk-science battle that Nye has loudly fought in recent years.

[UnCivilServant]

Why is there anyone who doesn't point and laugh at the guy with mocking derision whenever he shows his face in public?

[The Grinch]

Hey, the guy's smart, you can tell from his bowtie. Either that or he's a mid 20th Century closeted Southern homosexual.

[straffinrun]

Worse. He's a climosexual. Smug whining makes women hotter according to his models.

[Injun, as in from India]

Climate alarmism will be the first topic. LOL.

[UnCivilServant]

I had this image of it being a giant Mea Culpa where he confesses his wrongess on the topic and points out all the failures and shortcomings of his own past arguments.

That would be awesome, but would never happen.

[Guy Behind the Guy, Jr.]

Netflix described the show's aspirations to "refute anti-scientific claims that may be espoused by Republicans, Republicans, or Republicans"?so the show is clearly aiming to maintain the junk-science battle that Nye has loudly fought in recent years.

A more accurate description of what's coming.

[WTF]

I guess they couldn't get an actual scientist.

[commodious readies for the end]

There's only so much NDT to go around, ladies.

[WTF]

Nephrology Dialysis Transplantation?

[commodious readies for the end]

Black Science Man.

[Free Society]

Thank you

[Fist of Etiquette]

SCIENCE ATTACK WAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCH!

[Auric Demonocles]

So is he going to refute his own anti-scientific claims that the ideal gas law don't apply in New England?

[Eternal Blue Sky]

"Donald Trump says he did not discuss making Mexico pay for a border wall"

"At the start of the conversation with Donald Trump, I made it clear that Mexico will not pay for the wall,"

Technically, Pena hasn't exactly contradicted Trump's account. Trump says that Trump didn't say anything about the wall. Pena says Pena said something about the wall.

[SugarFree]

Nice clintonian analysis. 🙂

[WTF]

To be fair, one party making a statement is not a discussion.

[Azathoth!!]

Clintonian?

Pena," Okay, we'll have this meeting and press conference, pedejo--but I'm telling you now, there's no way Mexico is paying for any border wall"

Trump, "Ha. Ha. Let's do this"

No parsing of words. No tortured evidence chains. Just two men, saying what they said, without either of them lying.

It Is possible. Likely even.

[commodious readies for the end]

Pena: "Let me make one thing clear: Mexico will not pay for your wall, Mr. Trump."
Trump: "Sure, whatever. Listen hombre, where can I get some killer carnitas around here?"

[BakedPenguin]

Pena: "Let me make one thing clear: Mexico will not pay for your wall, Mr. Trump."
Trump: "Why is the gardener talking to me about the wall?"

[Brett L]

Imagine if you will, two politicians go into a room and agree that it is in both of their best interests to continue to be publicly antagonistic while forming a basis of understanding that they might have something to work together on in the near future.

[commodious readies for the end]

Donald Trump says he did not discuss making Mexico pay for a border wall in his meeting yesterday with Mexican President Enrique Pe?a Nieto. But the Mexican president disputes Trump's account. "At the start of the conversation with Donald Trump, I made it clear that Mexico will not pay for the wall," Pe?a Nieto tweeted.

That's not a contradictory set of circumstances.

[Hamster of Doom]

No kidding.

The men shake hands, and sit down.

"Now, Mr. Trump, let me be clear that Mexico will not pay for a wall."

Mr Trump waves an impatient hand. "I'm not here to discuss that."

[Citizen X]

And then they fuck. Wait, this isn't the start of a SugarFree story. Never mind.

[Injun, as in from India]

Then Trump makes Pena Nieto pay him for the sex.

[WTF]

I would expect some steamy, sick, hat on sombrero action.

[Mickey Rat]

Not necessarily. Possibly Nieto mentioned it and Trump ignored him and thus did not discuss it

[Crusty Juggler]

I have been enjoying the book Trouble Boys: The True Story of The Replacements.

Vulture has some highlights if you want to read a few spoilers:

Within a week the Replacements had come down with cabin fever, ? la "The Shining". "In each of our cottages there was a little kitchenette with knives," said Stinson. "Every night we'd go to one of the cottages and start playing 'Dodge Knife.' That's like dodgeball but with knives. It got very ... troubling."

[Lord Humungus]

In theory The Replacements should be a band that I love. I've owned several of their albums but frankly never got the hype. They're just kind of uh... uninspired. Ah well, different strokes 'n' all that.

[BakedPenguin]

Second. Can't Hardly Listen.

[Private Chipperbot]

Can listen for a bit, then I wonder why I waited so long to skip.

[Private Chipperbot]

Dammit. Hit reply to fast. They are a perfect example of what I call the Pandora Conundrum. That's when a song is okay, you'd just like to skip it, but worry that the next song will be worse and you won't have any skips left.

[Brett L]

The key breaking point was when several executives at MTV, concerned about a recent surge in high-profile teen suicides, decided to ban "The Ledge," Westerberg's tale of a boy contemplating suicide inspired in part by the singer's own personal experience with the subject. "

"The number one single in America is 'Teenage Suicide, Don't Do It'!"

The eighties were weird.

[Sevo]

"Historic commercial flight from US lands in Cuba"
"Cheers broke out in the cabin of JetBlue flight 387 as the plane touched down. Passengers ? mostly airline executives, U.S. government officials and journalists, with a sprinkling of Cuban-American families and U.S. travelers ? were given gift bags with Cuban cookbooks, commemorative luggage tags and Cuban flags, which they were encouraged to wave."
http://www.sfgate.com/news/wor.....194244.php

Fidel PISSED!

[commodious readies for the end]

That's just incontinence.

[The Late P Brooks]

One more genius from NYT comments.

Rick Gage mt dora 1 day ago
The problem with capitalism is that it cannot coexist with patriotism. There is no way that you can appeal to it's sense of the common good, when the only good it recognizes is individual profit. This came into stark view the week after 911, when the the American people's sense of solidarity was at an all time high, but we had to put limits on trading if the sell off became too extreme. At that moment I realized that companies thought only of individual profits and individual positioning. There can be no "us" if everyone is out for themselves. Whenever I'm told that free market solutions are the only way to solve America's problem's, I wonder how they intend to solve America's revenue problem when the only free market solution is tax avoidance. America's tax laws continue to reward bad behavior and, therefore, bad behavior is what America will get. American corporations will never pay their fair share of taxes because they think their fair share should be zero. Corporations are not people, my friends, they are primal and predatory and should be treated with suspicion, not with a tax holiday. If only the American people were united enough to dish out their own form of retribution for tax avoidance with product avoidance. That would be the perfect free market solution to these unpatriotic corporate loopholes. That's something I would pay extra to see.

Sounds like a David Brooks fan.

[Injun, as in from India]

If only the American people were united enough to dish out their own form of retribution for tax avoidance with product avoidance.

The "non-profit" Clinton Foundation avoid taxes while collecting "donations" from a bunch of foreign favor-seekers.

That foundation's main product is Hillary Clinton.

I'll wait for this patriotic commenter to inflict retribution by avoiding HRC at the ballot box.

[tarran]

The Clinton Foundation isn't avoiding taxes! They're just providing the welfare the government should, the welfare the state would give if it weren't for the stingy teathuglicans slashing the federal budget to bone!

All those donations are taxes! Paid voluntarily to the only people who care about Haiti... and Chelsea Clinton ... and Libya... and Sidney Blumenthal!

[widget]

Corporations are not people, my friends, they are primal and predatory and should be treated with suspicion...

Corporations are people and people are primal and predatory. Where is this daisy farm Rick Gage grew up on?

[John DeWitt]

So...flat tax? Seems to solve the problem. No exceptions, everyone just pays their fair share...

[lap83]

The problem with capitalism is that it cannot coexist with patriotism.

That would explain why I'm always overwhelmed with hatred for America after I buy fireworks on the 4th of July.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Tax avoidance = arranging one's affairs so as to minimize one's tax burden

If they have done so consistent with the law, then they have done nothing wrong.

[Free Society]

Ask the tax lovers why they don't write a check to cover the part of my "fair share" that I withhold. I assume they'll say something along the lines of it not being their personal responsibility, so that "common good" nonsense goes right out the window.

[Tornado16nb]

See Tony for example. he doesn't want to help me out in dire situations.

[Free Society]

There is no way that you can appeal to it's sense of the common good, when the only good it recognizes is individual profit.

Which explains why capitalism provides more common benefit to even the lowest of the low than any system of socialism has ever provided to anyone on it's own (that is without help from external markets).

[Juice]

The problem with capitalism is that it cannot coexist with patriotism.

If that's true then the obvious one to do away with is capitalism.

[Masturbatin' Pete]

It's adorable that Mexico thinks they have any say in whether they pay for the wall.

Oh, the Mexican government won't stroke a check made out to Uncle Sam, with "Paymentaria por el Wallo" in the memo line. That's certain.

But the U.S. can reduce aid to Mexico, and redirect that money to pay for the wall. The U.S. can tax electronic remittances such that Mexican citizens pay for the wall.

[tarran]

I just adore commies. The only morality they understand is the gun.

[Citizen X]

That's where power comes from. Mao wasn't wrong about that.

[VG Zaytsev]

And cosmotarrans think that every who rejects there delusions is a commie.

[Auric Demonocles]

152% of Voters Want Alt-text at the Debate

[UnCivilServant]

You have a wicked margin of error on that statistical analysis, Auric.

[Raven Nation]

Explosion at Kennedy Space Center during pre-launch testing.

[Groovus Maximus]

That's one hell of a euphemizm! Is Kennedy space docking again?

[Cyto]

That's really bad news. "The future" was getting really close, with the imminent relaunch of a falcon 9 and the falcon heavy. This will probably set them back more than a half a year. And good luck with that "man rating" if you keep losing launchers.

I hope no one was hurt. The plume was big enough to show up on weather satellite images.

[Cyto]

It was launching a broadcast satellite for the Middle East and Africa, owned by an Israeli company.

May I be the first to posit a crazy conspiracy theory and go for sabotage as a cause?

[straffinrun]

Not only libertarians believe in unicorns.

[The Fusionist]

Shut up, unicorn, and fetch me a virgin.

[The Fusionist]

And don't be clever and bring a guy from ComicCon like last time.

[The Fusionist]

Wait, is it virgins who attract unicorns or unicorns who attract virgins?

[commodious readies for the end]

Those are bronies, and they attract nobody.

[Ken Shultz]

When I was in high school, I read a book, I think it was by Piers Anthony, about a virgin that banged a unicorn.

Only he was more of a geek than a virgin. And it was more like the unicorn banged him.

[commodious readies for the end]

Pictured.

[The Fusionist]

dat ass.

[Ken Shultz]

Here's the cover.

http://tinyurl.com/z2ymx3t

Look at it! It's a weenie-ass geek crossing swords with a unicorn, who ends up getting screwed by the unicorn (who is. mercifully, female).

It was in boarding school, so immediately upon finishing the book, I went to the geek that lent it to me and put him in the Boston crab.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YoHbIpVKrs

If you sit on the victim's lower back and rock back and forth not only do you risk giving him a permanent back injury, it has the added benefit of making the victim throw up if they've eaten recently.

I miss high school.

[The Fusionist]

"North Korea has executed a vice premier for showing disrespect during a meeting presided over by leader Kim Jong-Un, South Korea said Wednesday, after reports that he fell asleep."

"So, you like long naps, do you? I'll give you a long nap."

[The Fusionist]

ALTERNATE JOKE: Some guy in a meeting discussing TPS reports is like, "that lucky Korean bastard."

[Ken Shultz]

"Hillary Clinton's unfavorable ratings are now at 56 percent."

It should be noted that Hillary's unfavorable ratings haven't been below 50% since August of 2015.

The last time Hillary Clinton's favorable ratings were above 50% was in July of 2014.

http://tinyurl.com/7hazzde

That last stat was from before the American peopel had ever heard about the Clinton Foundation.

So recent revelations about Hillary's corrupt behavior with the Clinton Foundation have only confirmed what 50% of the American people already knew--recent revelations newly convinced no more than 6% that Hillary is a crook.

[Ken Shultz]

In other words, hating Hillary is a deep-seated, long term trend that isn't going away if and when she ascends to the throne. She is not a typical candidate.

Obama became steadily more popular as he campaigned, and his approval rating was north of 60% when he took office. There were some ebbs and flows, but his popularity generally declined over time as is typical (familiarity breeds contempt). If Hillary Clinton wins, she'll walk in the door as the most unpopular President since Jimmy Carter left office! Yes, Hillary Clinton will be more unpopular when she takes office than George W. Bush was when he left office.

I doubt Hillary will follow the standard popularity arc because if she did, Hillary would become less popular than Richard Nixon was when he was chased out of the White House--Hillary's approval rating presumably can't get much worse than that.

But don't think that Hillary will ever be able to do what Obama did. The only mandate Hillary will ever have from the American people is a mandate to face criminal charges.

[Domestic Dissident]

It's literally the first time in my lifetime where it's close to impossible to find a bumper sticker for the democratic candidate, even in the big progressive shitholes like San Francisco, New York, and DC.

Even John Kerry was far better liked than the Snuke, and he was pretty unpleasant and unlikeable in his own right.

[UnCivilServant]

I live in New York. I still see Bernie Stickers. I've even seen Trump stickers. I've not seen one Hillary sticker. I've heard one person admit that they'll voteAgainst Trump on the D line. No one else has stated an intent to vote Hillary.

And this is New York.

[Cyto]

Here in south Florida - which is essentially southern New York - I have noticed exactly one Hillary sticker this year. Maybe 3 or 4 Trump. I've seen a few Trump yard signs. And even a couple of Gary Johnson yard signs.

So passion for Hillary isn't that great. But overall passion is pretty low. Not a lot of bumper stickers in general this time around.

In fact, I may have seen more 8 year old Hillary bumper stickers than new ones over the last year.

[Citizen X]

I've seen one Hillary sign in my neighborhood. There are still three houses with Bernie signs. One Johnson, no Trump, and the guy with the Kasich yard sign finally took it down like a week ago.

One of my neighbors had a Hillary bumper sticker but quietly removed it sometime last month.

[creech]

Goldwater activists were encouraged back in 1964 by the lack of LBJ signs vs. Barry. Then, suddenly, in mid-October, LBJ signs started sprouting everywhere. Apparently it was an accepted campaign tactic to hold back your candidate's signs and then do a blitz, thus convincing everyone that the pendulum was swinging (no euphemism intended) in favor of your guy.

[Cyto]

I suspect that this is Trump's gambit. He's been holding his powder dry this entire time, spending almost nothing.

So either he's going with a blitz at the end to try to complete a Hail Mary...

.... or he's doing to whole thing as a plot to get to the end of the campaign with a half a billion dollars in his campaign account that he just pockets.

[Domestic Dissident]

Takes serious balls to put a Donald Trump bumper sticker on your car in New York City! If you're not afraid to do that, you're not afraid of anything.

[UnCivilServant]

When did I say "New York City". I live in the Capital District. (Albany-Troy-Scenectady-etc)

[commodious readies for the end]

There's a New York outside NYC?

[Ken Shultz]

I've heard about some place like that, but I think all their tax money goes to New York City anyway.

[Agent Cooper]

I live in the Capital District.

Your service to President Snow is duly noted.

[Ken Shultz]

If she loses, it may be the funniest thing ever.

I might start laughing at her for losing every time I think about it . . . forever.

[robc]

Yard signs I have seen so far:

Clinton -- zero
Trump -- zero
Johnson -- two

[Agent Cooper]

Trump is leading in my area 12 to 3. Not many as of yet. Of course I live closer to the sticks than the city.

[Glide]

I think it's about Trump 8, Johnson 1, Hillary 0 here.

[thom]

Hillary stickers are everywhere in the Twin Cities. People who put some politician's name permanently on their $30K automobile are already suspect. When it's Hillary, it's just disgusting.

[commodious readies for the end]

Alzheimer drug said to halt progression of disease:

Scientists said they were amazed to find that patients treated with the highest dose of the antibody drug aducanumab experienced an almost complete clearance of the amyloid plaques that prevent brain cells communicating, leading to irreversible memory loss and cognitive decline.

Crucially they also found that after six months of the treatment, patients stopped deteriorating compared with those taking a placebo, suggesting that their dementia had been halted.

No word yet as to what reason the FDA will contrive to delay or reject their application.

[UnCivilServant]

No excuse required, just the established process is enough to hold it up for decades.

[Zeb]

That would be pretty awesome if it works to stop the progression early.

I had two grandparents go out that way and it fucking sucks. The people you knew are basically dead and useless and then they just sit there until they die.

[robc]

My Father is at the point that I am not sure halting would be good.

No, not true, I think it still would be, but by the time the FDA approves this, he will be too far gone.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Balko has endorsed this documentary called "Do Not Resist.". He called it "chilling".

Fuck, if Balko calls it chilling, it would probably either have me crying in the fetal position or punching a hole through a wall in a rage. Or maybe both.

[Brett L]

Let me just go get my adamantium cup on, and we'll have a watch.

[commodious readies for the end]

documentary called "Do Not Resist."

So sick of this "rape culture" propaganda.

[Cyto]

Great meta-review.

And I ain't watchin' it without a wearing my cup.

[Sevo]

Don't know how (if) this link will work:

"Ex-Labor Secretary Reich writes a play"
[...]
""Milton and Augusto," which imagines what happened at the real-life 1975 meeting in Chile between Augusto Pinochet and economist Milton Friedman.
[...]
They're also both ruthlessly power hungry; if General is willing to stage a coup to seize power, Milton is also national in the scope of his ambition: "Eventually all of America will appreciate my ideas."
http://digital.olivesoftware.c.....fault.aspx

See, unlike the peaceful commies, the free market people have to use guns to make people free!
Projection? Envy? Stupidity?

[Domestic Dissident]

Small body, smaller brain.

[Citizen X]

If he's as good at writing plays as he is at thinking about economics, that is gonna be one shitty play.

[Brett L]

"Eventually all of America will appreciate my ideas."

Someday, we may even forgive you for the brilliant idea of income tax withholding.

[Tornado16nb]

Guy is a buffoon.

" High tax rates don't affect behavior and avoidance" as he whines that states have different tax rates to gain an advantage.

[Sevo]

Yep, he's right on top of the Apple/EU/Irish situation.

[Agent Cooper]

Friedman never stuck me as ruthless.

[Sevo]

I don't think he struck *anyone* as ruthless; this POS is flat out lying.

[The Late P Brooks]

If the ants closer to the surface had self-awareness of their plight, surely by now they would have developed some complicated mythology about those lost down the pipe, destined to toil away below and never to return. They are the chosen ones, off to serve some higher purpose, they tell one another. Their work must mean something, though they are blinded to it in the darkness.

But here we are, like the omniscient narrator of some perfect dystopian fiction, and we know the truth: The war is over, and your cold, sexless mound serves no purpose except to bring some small comfort to the latest batch of arrivals that there is still some work to be done.

"Mister President, we cannot allow a mine shaft gap!"

[WTF]

Anthony Weiner's been working on that!

[commodious readies for the end]

Irishmen should stick to drinking.

[bacon-magic]

The drugs had nothing to do with it, it's how the ancient Celts went into battle...the only thing he forgot was a torc.

[Rhywun]

North Korea has executed a vice premier for showing disrespect

Cracker culture.

[katherinebartlett]

My dear, the next five minutes can change your life!
Give a chance to your good luck.
Read this article, please!
Move to a better life!
We make profit on the Internet since 1998! ????? http://www.jobsea3.com

[Crusty Juggler]

I hope you're not eating oatmeal...

[Injun, as in from India]

I cannot tell you how sad this election is making me.

I'm going to get really, really drunk on election day. If the poll workers let me in with alcohol in my breath, I may go in and vote for Johnson. If not, I'll just keep drinking until I fall asleep and have a heck of a hangover the next morning with President-Elect Corrupt Clinton.

[Citizen X]

Ditto. Perhaps we've found a Libertarian Woman criterion?

[Crusty Juggler]

I don't believe any of this.

[Rufus The Monocled]

You're all soooo fucking special.

[invisible furry hand]

Do you mean mowing the lawn or wearing Daisy Dukes and skimpy tank tops? Either way, I have orphans to do that

[This Machine]

I'm going to get really, really drunk on election day.

Well, you've got the same plans I do. I'm going to take the day off work, sleep in, work out, run some errands, maybe do some work around the house, and then I'm going to spend the rest of the day getting shitfaceded. No internet (except maybe to play some video games or something, whatever), no TV news or Hit n' Run, no anything to tell me how the election is progressing, until the next morning, when I awake with a massive hangover to greet whatever fresh terror the electorate has foisted upon me.

[Homple]

Want sad? I'll give you sad. Wait until Hillary's 2 or 3 Supreme Court justices go to work on the Constitution.

[Suell]

It is not a happy state of affairs. May I recommend reading "How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World" by the one and only Harry Browne. It may cheer you up a bit.

[Ayn Random Variation]

I'm taking The Day After off so I can be drunk as possible on election day and not have to deal with the hillary cheerleading at work the next day

[bacon-magic]

Machine and Injun will both wake up in Warty's dungeon.

[perlchpr]

I like this plan.

I think I should take the next day off too, to deal with the hangover.

[lap83]

You make your orphans wear skimpy clothes while mowing the lawn? Does the greater risk of injury build character?

[Citizen X]

Well, my wife practically wears a burqua while mowing the lawn, but that's only because the air in our yard is something like 74% mosquitoes. She does enjoy yardwork.

[Injun, as in from India]

It's dyed though. Phoney, like everything else about her.

Does that un-barf you?

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

I think I may adopt this approach, as well. Work was intolerable after Barry's election.

[commodious readies for the end]

Aggressive melanoma cuts down on feed costs in the long term.

[Agent Cooper]

ZIKA!