Weiner Cut Off, FBI Investigates Election Cybersecurity Breaches, FEMA Still Sucks: P.M. Links

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  • Anthony Weiner
    Curtis Means—ACEPIXS.COM/Newscom

    Huma Abedin is separating from Anthony Weiner over his latest sexting scandal. Donald Trump's response is to suggest that Weiner is a security risk for Hillary Clinton's campaign.

  • The FBI is investigating what it suspects is foreign cyberattacks on state-level election databases. It didn't indicate which states were involved, but both Arizona and Illinois had both had recent cybersecurity issues.
  • Could Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) lose his primary tomorrow? Polls have him ahead, but everybody's keeping an eye on the anti-establishment mood.
  • Oh, hey, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) is being blasted for being slow to respond to the needs of the victims of flooding in Louisiana. Imagine that.
  • Brazil President Dilma Rousseff took the stand today to try to fight off her impeachment. She insisted she had committed no crime.
  • The Islamic State took credit for a suicide bombing in Yemen that killed more than 50 people.
  • Actor Gene Wilder has died at age 83.

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  1. Huma Abedin is separating from Anthony Weiner…

    Bobbitesque.

    1. She should’ve cut him off a long time ago. This of course will get more attention than the pay to play Clinton Foundation.

      1. This of course will get more attention than the pay to play Clinton Foundation.

        Sadly correct. And if it wasn’t this, some other useless sideshow would have been elevated to national attention.

      2. If there were a frog-jumping contest in Kalamazoo, Michigan, *that* would get more attention than the Clinton Foundation shenanigans.

        1. What if it was in Calaveras County?

          1. I didn’t want to push my luck with that one.

    2. Maybe now Anthony will be interested in her again…she being a single woman and all that.

    3. Hello.

      Young Frankenstein:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p5AG0Tqh3A

      /raises glass.

      1. Joins Rufus in raising a glass.

        1. “It’s FRANKenstein.”

          A comedic master. He will be missed.

          /Raises glass

      2. Nazi salute to a great Producer, saddled with a blazingly funny face.

      3. I’ll raise a glass later.

      4. +1… ounce of Bushmills

          1. Then I will say…. good night.

      5. “Sweet mysteries of life, at last I’ve found you!”

    4. Conscious uncoupling?

    5. I can’t believe no Israeli or Russian “chick” convinced him that it would be totally hot for him to send pictures from his wife’s computers and/or Blackberries and also to “install this app to hide the pictures from her”.

      1. Well, he’s certainly stupid enough to fall for that. Missed opportunity for KGB, I guess.

        -jcr

    6. He’ll be doing porn within 18 months

  2. Oh, hey, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) is being blasted for being slow to respond to the needs of the victims of flooding in Louisiana. Imagine that.

    Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosh

  3. Actor Gene Wilder has died at age 83.

    I said good day, sir.

    1. +some snozzberries

      1. The snozzberries taste like snozzberries.

    2. You lose, game over. RIP.

      1. So shines a good deed in a weary world…

    3. I don’t think this could be made today.

        1. Where has Irish gone?

          1. Good question. Anyone know?

            1. Stormfront, probably.

              1. Irish and Tony are the same person. They just change the proper nouns and some verbs in their comments.

              2. It’s not funny if he doesn’t read it.

          2. We took the niggers and the chinks, he wouldn’t stand for it.

          3. He left around the same time as Nikki, right after the Chicago trump riots of ought 16.

        2. I’m glad you guys jumped on Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein. Every news story I saw focused on Willie Wonka. But those Mel Brooks movies were some of the best comedies ever made.

          And Silver Streak…. “I’m a macaroni!” That had to be an ad-lib. I absolutely lost it when I heard that in the theater. One of the most bizarre lines ever. There’s a movie that just can’t be watched with the same eyes today.

          Stir Crazy, The Producers….

          So long, and thanks for all the laughs!

    4. 2016 has taken away David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Prince, Gary Shandling and now Gene Wilder. Plus this shitshow of an election. I hate this goddamn year.

      1. Gary Shandling?

        really?

        1. I thought that was John Kasich.

        2. I hope Gary whistled as he watched the credits.

      2. Michael Cimino, ahum.

        1. You mean he didn’t die with the Heaven’s Gate cult?

          1. At least we still have Michael Bay.

      3. Is only Teri Garr left of that cast?

        1. I think Frau Blucher is still scaring the horses

          1. Mel Brooks himself was in the movie, as Gov. LePetomaine.

            Some of the lesser characters were played by people still alive, such as John Hillerman doing Howard Johnson.

      4. At least we still have Lou Reed.

        1. Remarkably, Bob Dylan is still alive. When he dies, Reason.com is going to melt.

    5. That makes me sad. Gene Wilder was awesome

    6. Gene Wilder nows shares a sad anniversary with my dear Ella. Two years ago today I lost her. May they both rest in peace.

      1. May I ask…Ella was…?

        1. /Torn between sympathy and horror movie reference.

        2. My wife. She died from complications ultimately due to diabetes.

          1. Sorry, DJ.

          2. I’m sorry to hear that.

          3. Sorry to hear that DJ. RIP.

          4. Wow. That’s no good. My condolences.

          5. Sorry for your loss. May she rest in peace.

          6. Thanks to all of you. Raise one to Ella with me if you would like. She would have appreciated it. I’m OK, it’s on the 9th, her birthday, that it really hit me last year.

            1. Seriously I just took a shot of rum like you asked.

              But my shot was for you DJ, not to Ella. I also lost the one closest to me years ago. It was 18 years before I could emotionally love a woman again without fear.

              It is hard to get over and impossible to forget, nor should you try. But the pain eases with time.

              Don’t build a wall around your heart and emotions out of fear of getting hurt again, like I did.

            2. I’ll have a shot when I get home.
              To Ella!

    7. Mel Brooks must be an Incubus; feeding on the souls of his actors.

      But now he’s out.

    8. “Walk this way…this way!”

    9. Little bastard shot me in the ass.

      What an enormous talent.

      1. ‘They call me the Waco kid.’ RIP

        1. ‘Abby Someone? Abby who?”

  4. Could Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) lose his primary tomorrow?

    No. This just isn’t the country’s year for anything.

  5. Look, Shackleford, you’re a good guy, but i will NOT consult Twitter for any damn reason.

    1. But he was on time and included alt-text.

      1. I mentioned that he was a good guy.

    2. He could’ve put a reasonoid commenter shameless plug in there.

      1. This reminded me how a couple of years ago reason started putting comments in the print edition. Except they were always lame on-topic comments from articles that never got the full H&R treatment made by posters I never recognized.

        1. Print edition? What is that?

  6. Huma Abedin is separating from Anthony Weiner over his latest sexting scandal.

    It’s funny how raw political ambition and corruption can keep some women glued to their husbands over more serious transgressions…

    1. Whoever could you possibly be referring to?

      1. Uh…. Hitler?

      2. Obviously Margaret Thatcher. She latched on to her husband’s last name and coat tails to rise through the ranks. LOL.

    2. That’s how predators work! “I was just like you, kid.”

    3. Political ambition is not the only thing she takes raw.

      /Weiner Sext

  7. The FBI is investigating what it suspects is foreign cyberattacks on state-level election databases.

    Putin preloading votes for Comrade Trump?

    1. No. He has her emails. He wants her to win. He owns her.

  8. So, it’s no longer a foot long, Scott?

    1. Do you know when it’s time for a foot long?

      When the big hand touches the little hand.

      1. Whatever happened to OMWC, anyways?

        1. Maybe OMWC was Jared?

        2. He is now (((((Renegade))))).

          1. He’s (((Lorenzo Lamas)))?

      2. Can you please stop lighting the OMWC signal?!?

        1. It was a Subway joke.

          1. Yes, and then OMWC comes around and all of a sudden things start smelling like Bubble Yum and KY jelly

      3. Subway jokes?

        You know why Jared went to Subway? So he could get into smaller pants.

    2. I’ve always thought the Subway “$5 footlong” jingle was like a male prostitution ad.

  9. Huma Abedin is separating from Anthony Weiner over his latest sexting scandal. Donald Trump’s response is to suggest that Weiner is a security risk for Hillary Clinton’s campaign.

    I don’t think that bothers them.

    1. The Clinton campaign is security risks all the way down.

      1. Or all the way up, to the top of the ticket.

    2. I don’t think they need Weiner to be a security risk.

  10. Police officers, apparently proud of being Okies from Muskogee, kick down door (sans warrant) and pepper spray 84 year old woman in the face

    Complete with the usual “The officer did absolutely nothing wrong, but we’ll investigate fairly” quote from the Police Chief:

    Muskogee Police Chief Rex Eskridge said Smith failed to comply with officers’ orders and turned toward the kitchen. Smith actively resisted by ducking away from officers, Wood said.

    The police department’s use of force policy states that pepper spray, considered to be the lowest use of force, is to be used for passive resistance.

    Eskridge said that when Casady used the pepper spray, she “believed she was acting within policy in using” pepper spray to gain compliance. The matter was still under internal investigation as of Friday morning, Eskridge said.

    1. Muskogee Police Chief Rex Eskridge said Smith failed to comply with officers’ orders and turned toward the kitchen.

      Was the chief there?

      The sad and infuriating thing is that too many people just believe anything a cop says.

      1. The sad and infuriating thing is that too many people just believe anything a cop says.

        I’m not trying to get pepper-sprayed too, jeez.

    2. Forget it, JB. If the public won’t get outrage over burned toddlers or shot deaf people they’re not going to give a shit about some granny.

      And my uncritical friends have been posting a lot of feel-good articles about cops on derpbook lately. Every time there’s a scandal the soccer mom brigade helps disseminate the worst sort of cop-sucking glurge.

      1. The sad part is that they don’t understand that the existence of good cops doesn’t preclude the existence of truly awful cops. I’d argue, if anything, those stories should make the stories of police misconduct all the more egregious. It’s clear from them that police don’t have to act like ‘roided up loons.

    3. What the fuck is passive resistance? Your honor, she didn’t turn the other cheek as I was providing her with policing services, a classic case of passive resistance, if you ask me.

      1. I get the feeling that with that description, passive resistance is whatever the fuck a cop says it is. Of course, that’s the definition of active resistance too. And the definition of “he was reaching for a gun” as well.

      2. Passive resistance is going limp, lying on the ground, and other forms of non-aggressive non-cooperation.

        1. And pepper spray is torture used to make you resist in a less passive way.

          1. Yeah, that really is bullshit. Somebody who is not actively resisting, and the policy is that it’s OK to spray them with pepper spray? WTF?

            1. Pepper spray to “gain compliance” has to be one of the most horse-shit rationalizations ever.

              Pepper spray is for stopping an aggressor or getting someone to leave an area. It cannot possibly “gain compliance” with other commands.

              “Madam… hand me your license!” [pepper spray] “Ok here you go officer..”

              See how dumb that sounds? the real response in that scenario is to grab your face, start screaming profanities and try to get away.

    4. “she “believed she was acting within policy in using” pepper spray to gain compliance.”

      FUCK. THEM.

      1. I’d like to know how you could pepper spray an old lady and not get mocked off the force.

        1. Because your fellow officers are all jealous that you got to spray somebody?

    5. +1 Eleanor Bumpers

    6. She stood there with this shocked look on her face that was definitely passive.

  11. The FBI is investigating what it suspects is foreign cyberattacks on state-level election databases. It didn’t indicate which states were involved, but both Arizona and Illinois had both had recent cybersecurity issues.

    It seems like people are deciding to turn off their firewalls then act like they’ve been gangraped by the KGB for the sake of generating some front-page news.

    1. STEVE SMITH NOT SLEEPER AGENT! CONGRESSIONAL INQUIRY SAID SO!

    2. If Trump wins Illinois, we’ll know the Russians did it.

      1. First I would check Madigan’s offices.

    3. I blame Warron Zevon.

      1. +1 bring lawyers, guns, and money; the shit has hit the fan.

    1. Meh, the Tims still have a pretty good business model in the developing world.

  12. “For what we are about to see next, we must enter quietly into the realm of genius.”

  13. Oh, hey, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) is being blasted for being slow to respond to the needs of the victims of flooding in Louisiana. Imagine that.

    OBAMA DOESN’T CARE ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE.

    1. Top 10 moments of live TV.

    2. I remember when Bush caused global warming then blew up the levees and had a big coke party laughing it up while led zeppelin played in the background.

      1. while led zeppelin played in the background.

        Ripping off some poor, black artist no doubt.

  14. “Huma Abedin is separating from Anthony Weiner over his latest sexting scandal”

    So she’s finally shaving that beard off?

    What’s the over/under on her coming out as lesbian? 6 months?

    1. How many months is it until election day?

    2. She won’t come out until Hillary is dead.

      1. December?

      2. She won’t come out until Hillary is dead.

        1. And writes a book.

    3. She will find another beard, likely a female so she can come out triumphantly without harming Hildog. Would that woman be called a bush rather than a beard?

  15. Oh, hey, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) is being blasted for being slow to respond to the needs of the victims of flooding in Louisiana. Imagine that.

    I look forward to the smug pronouncements of comedians who like to call our attention to FEMA’s inefficacy.

    1. Which is all Bush’s fault, because he didn’t fix FEMA last time.

      1. Which is all Bush’s fault, because he didn’t fix FEMA last time.

        I was told, in Early 2009, that FEMA’s response to a recent disaster had improved because there were “real adults in charge over there” now that Obama had been elected.

        I pointed out that the new FEMA head was a FEMA lifer serving as an interim appointment due to Bush’s post-Michael Brown head retiring on the administration change date. I also pointed out that it would be basically impossible for Obama to do ANYTHING to make such a large organization led by FEMA lifers dramatically change in the small number of months he had been in office.

        I will never forget the fact that people considered the same government office, populated by 99.9% the same people, to be magically improved because their Team was now in power.

        1. Bureaucratic inertia.

          I learned that back when Reagan got elected.

  16. The FBI is investigating what it suspects is foreign cyberattacks on state-level election databases. It didn’t indicate which states were involved, but both Arizona and Illinois had both had recent cybersecurity issues.

    I’m pretty sure the magic of America protects our electoral process. Its spirit rises from purple mountain majesties, streaming ephemeral stars and stripes and jet trails, and annihilates all who would stand against the sanctity of One Man, One Vote.

    That’s how it works. Duh doi.

    1. Did you get into Agile’s stash?

        1. And purple things that rise are definitely not mountains.

  17. BuzzFeed Political Reporter Says He Gets His Sources Liquored Up

    You take em out for drinks or for dinner, and then they kind of owe you ? or they feel like they owe you?yeah, that’s the only method of, like, political journalism I know,” Coppins recently told the Longform Podcast, which is sponsored by The Writing Program at the University of Pittsburgh.

    My God…

    1. that’s the only method of, like, political journalism I know

      Spoken like a true BuzzFeed journalist.

    2. You know, I bet that would work on women too.

      1. *signals bartender*

      2. He has kids? That was what surprised me the most (some woman lets him bang her)

        1. He took her out for drinks or for dinner, and then she kind of owed him?or she felt like she owed him? yeah, that’s the only method of, like, copulation he knows.

      3. Nope. Home-cooked meal. ‘Specially if it’s one she doesn’t get often.

    3. Journalistic Rape culture.

      That’s what they teach you when you get your Master’s in Journalism at Columbia. Someone should confirm with Anna Merlan.

      1. [golf clap]

    4. I think the late Antony Jay said the same thing about how he got some of his story ideas for Yes Minister.

      1. Yup. He also said after the show was established, civil servants sought them out, and common beginning was “You’re not gonna believe this, but…”

    5. I see that Brigham Young University education is paying for itself.

    6. “The depressing thing about being a political journalist is you really plan your life around these presidential campaigns and at your darkest points you realize how sad and pathetic that is,” he said.

      Jesus, shut the fuck up. You’re covering political campaigns. That’s the easiest form of journalism ever invented, period, the end. It’s fucking Jr. G-man shit. You make phone calls, get quotes, and parse (and in the case of Hillary, reprint) campaign memos found in your inbox.

      If it weren’t for covering campaigns, we’d never have been treated to bridges to the Gaza Strip.

      1. Compare this whiner to Thompson’s “Better than Sex: The Confessions of a Political Junkie” covering Clinton’s campaign. God what I wouldn’t give for Raoul Duke to be covering this campaign season.

      2. (and in the case of Hillary, reprint if you don’t want to end up missing)

        FTFY

    7. This is entirely consistent with my “Everything can be explained by The Wire“-Theory”

      Note = every time the city-editor got a source to talk? Was over booze.

      The time Lester Freemon got Clay Davis to rat out the leak inside the city-courts? over booze.

      1. Hillary is basically clay Davis on steroids.

    8. It’s been working for him since elementary school.

  18. Oh, hey, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) is being blasted for being slow to respond to the needs of the victims of flooding in Louisiana. Imagine that.

    At least it’s not racism this time.

    1. Well, it could be 50% racist.

      1. +1 typical white person

      2. Well, it could be 50% racist.

        AHEM. 50% – 1, if you please.

  19. Could Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) lose his primary tomorrow? Polls have him ahead, but everybody’s keeping an eye on the anti-establishment mood.

    “Do you want to pick lettuce for $50 an hour?”

    1. *snickers*

      I remember when that backfired on him. When he told a group of blue collar types that they wouldn’t do blue collar stuff for $104,000 a year.

    2. McCain could always just go back to his daytime job, yelling at clouds and wearing onions on his belt.

      Wait, besides being an apparently terrible pilot and a long time guest of the Hanoi Hilton, has McCain done anything in his life?

      1. He was the first McCain in three generations to not make Admiral. That should count for something.

      2. Cindy McCain owns/runs a Bud distributorship.

        A very large one.

        Im not sure if John had anything to do with it.

        1. Hensley & Co. was founded by Jim Hensley, father of Cindy McCain.

          1. They married in 1980 and she inherited the company in 2000.

            McCain was married to former model Carol Shepp McCain at the time?

      3. He married a beer distribution behemoth heiress and has been a Senator for, like, ever.

      4. has McCain done anything in his life?

        Caused a bunch of people on the USS Forestall to die and more to be seriously injured.

        Helped cause the S&L catastrophe in the late 80s.

        Co authored an attempt to,gut the first amendment.

        Inflicted Obama on America by acting like a beautiful loser in 08.

        Other than all that his life’s been a complete waste.

  20. She insisted she had committed no crime.

    “Eu n?o sou um trapaceiro.”

    1. Shouldn’t it be uma trapaceira?

      1. Why would Richard Nixon use the feminine? Use your head.

  21. “I WAS JOKING. DON’T YOU PEOPLE KNOW A JOKE WHEN YOU HEAR ONE?”

    1. You’re being a little vague. Help me narrow it down a bit here.

    2. You know who else was only joking?

      1. Hitler?

      2. Rod Stewart.

        (Please forgive me)

    3. “Hey there, handsome!”

  22. Why is our current “pretending we’re not at war in Syria” a bad thing?
    BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE CAN DO IT TOO

    Turkish forces have mainly pushed into areas controlled by forces aligned to the Syrian Democratic Forces (SDF), a coalition that encompasses the Kurdish YPG militia and which has been backed by Washington to fight the jihadists.

    A group monitoring the tangled, five-year-old conflict in Syria said 41 people were killed by Turkish air strikes as Turkish forces pushed south on Sunday. Turkey denied there were any civilian deaths, saying 25 Kurdish militants were killed.

    “We want to make clear that we find these clashes – in areas where ISIL is not located – unacceptable and a source of deep concern,” said Brett McGurk, U.S special envoy for the fight against Islamic State, using an acronym for the jihadists.

    “We call on all armed actors to stand down,” he wrote on Twitter, citing a U.S. Department of Defense statement.

    yeah, i’m sure the cast members are all hanging on your twitter. And your labeling things “unacceptable” isn’t exactly the sort of thing that re-directs an armored column.

    For those keeping score in the 3D chess game, we recently threatened Syrian aircraft for messing with our rebel-allies; are we going to make the same threats w/ Turkey….? whose bases we’re current using..?

    1. Dear Leader is going to kiss Erdogan’s balls in China next week.

      1. “I’ll bet that makes his putter flutter”.

    2. By threatening Syrian aircraft, do we really mean threatening Russian aircraft?

      I’m wondering if we’re going to get stories like we where american pilots realized they were dog-fighting Russian pilots in the skies over VietNam?

      1. Turkey shooting down Special Forces who happen to fight alongside the Kurds?

      2. I’m wondering if we’re going to get stories like we where american pilots realized they were dog-fighting Russian pilots in the skies over VietNam?

        That was the Korean War.

        The Russians were freaking out because the pilots were disobeying orders to:
        1) Only speak Korean over the radio
        2) Not eject if shot down (presumably they’d burn up or be turned into unidentifiable hamburger when they hit the ground).

        IIRC the Russians trained the North Vietnamese in Russia, but didn’t participate in the actual combat flights..

        1. IIRC the Russians trained the North Vietnamese in Russia, but didn’t participate in the actual combat flights..

          But I have fuzzy memories of shitty “DOGFIGHTS” episodes on the history channel that suggest otherwise.!

          no, really, i think there were 1-2 instances of engagements in north vietnam where they believed there were russians. could be wrong. I’m actually not kidding when i say the extent of my impression is “some shit i saw in a youtube video”

          1. Yes, I don’t think it was widespread, but there were American pilots who got close enough to somehow identify that the pilot wasn’t Vietnamese.

            1. The skill level tipped them off initially IIRC.

        2. In Korea wouldn’t that have been Chinese pilots?

          1. The Chinese and Russian communists were still working together then. Most likely, the Chinese didn’t have many planes or pilots of their own yet.

    3. The US flies out of Incirlik to support the Kurds. Turkey flies out of Incirlik to attack the Kurds. No, nothing unusual here.

      Reminds me of a WWE Royal Rumble

    1. Wouldn’t that mean that Clinton would have had to sleep with her? *shiver*

      And comparing Hillary to Stannis the Mannis? Not cool sir.

      1. Yeah, say what you want about Hillary, she’s no religious fundamentalist, and at least thus far she hasn’t burned too many people to death.

        1. (This is all about Book Stannis. TV Series Stannis is apparently different because the tv show’s writers don’t like him)

          Stannis is your best possible bet for leadership in a pre-industrial society. Sure, he’s willing to engage in weird ass witchcraft to secure power, and he’s brutal when it comes to punishments, but he’s ultimately fair, just and extremely difficult to corrupt. It’s heavily implied in the books that the only reason the kingdom is still standing and not completely bankrupt after Robert’s reign is because Stannis and Littlefinger were constantly cleaning his messes up. He’s the only one who treats the messages from the Wall seriously, and recognizes that he has to earn power rather than just have it owed to him. Sure, he needs to be pushed in the right direction sometimes, but he’s way better than everyone else because he’s pragmatic and completely lacks the naivety of the other ‘good’ characters.

          1. What’s Varys, chopped liver? I always saw it as a contest between Littlefinger and Varys.

            1. Varys has always been in the long game for the Targaryens, sure he helped but he never had the same degree of direct control of the kingdom’s political and economic resources as Stannis and Littlefinger did, he’s always been the espionage guy.

            2. Varys doesn’t have the balls to run a kingdom.

        2. She hasn’t? Maybe not personally, but between her responsibility for Libya and ISIS, she shares some responsibility for people being burned to death.

        3. Yeah, say what you want about Hillary, she’s no religious fundamentalist, and at least thus far she hasn’t burned too many people to death.

          I think you really missed the mark on this analogy. Stannis isn’t a religious fundamentalist, he often tells Melisandre to consult “your Red God”. He embraced the faith to further his political ambition, an ambition that cannot be stopped or halted, as his ambition is fueled by a sense of absolute right to rule. He is a character that routinely casts aside his principles in furtherance of his raw ambition. He’s very much like Hilary in that sense.

      2. +1 Hillary taking off the glamor necklace

      3. Does this mean that Chelsea needs to be a little concerned?

      1. Who wants to see pics of someone else’s baby?

  23. Crusty fave Matt Labash hungout with John McAfee: The Libertarian Trump

    Also ever-present was director Billy Corben and his Spike TV crew, who have been shooting since last August for a documentary miniseries on McAfee’s life. McAfee refers to them as his “reality TV crew.” He enjoys tweaking Billy, and journalists generally, going so far as to feign phone calls from the bathroom in which he discusses large cocaine shipments, knowing he’s miked-up and that Billy will hear.

    Billy Corben is a former child actor who has directed documentaries like Cocaine Cowboys (about Miami drug wars of the ’80s) and Dawg Fight (about backyard brawlers in a Miami-Dade County ghetto). A quick-witted fireplug who regularly sports Hialeah Gardens baseball jerseys, Billy wears his South Florida pedigree as both a merit badge and a hair shirt. He bypasses trendy South Beach bars for the “crusty characters” at dive bars, saying he will inevitably end up sitting next to a “deposed Third World leader, a drug smuggler, a guy who just came out of federal lockup

  24. Wait, besides being an apparently terrible pilot and a long time guest of the Hanoi Hilton, has McCain done anything in his life?

    I think he cleared away some of the dead wood in the Navy’s fighter inventory.

  25. Of course Huma is a security risk. Cripes, what does she have to do? Wave a Muslim Brotherhood flag?

    1. Can anyone explain to me why this woman is allowed to handle classified and higher intelligence with no security clearance anywhere close to what she is allowed to carry around ?

      It makes no sense that someone hasn’t raised a stink over this even if it’s Petraeus.

      1. It’s bizarre. Hoover would never have allowed anything like this.

  26. Well it looks like boulder will be passing a soda tax, which is really a sugar tax. But don’t worry! This will be paid by the distributor, not the customer. It will be 2 cents per ounce. Did you want a bag? 10 cents!
    I think they secretly want to replace the grocery store with condos.

    1. How is Boulder? I’ve heard that there are lots of leftist moonbats there but that there are also lots of libertarian-ish people. What’s your take on it?

      1. It’s 25 square miles surrounded by reality. Good hiking and prairie dogs out the ass.

        1. Also, this. It’s great for hikers, climbers, bikers, runners. Any sport has 4 clubs.

        2. You make it sound enjoyable.I hate it when I’m prairie-dogging. Especially when there’s no bathroom nearby.

      2. That seems correct. I enjoy it for a lot of things, the people are somewhere between liberal hippies and liberal “hippies”. I’m not ostracized for being a libertarian, and there’s a pretty active lp in the state. Being a half hour from Denver is good, but I only go a few times a year. I enjoy being right against the mountains, and go that direction more. Housing is outrageous here, but mostly because we limit building in every way. What housing is left really goes to cu kids, who will pay whatever is asked.

        If looking to move here, Louisville or superior would be my recommendation, or Longmont if your budget is a little less.
        Google is building a new office here, 1000 new families will be moving here soon.

        1. It’s good that Google is building a new office there, but the downside is that Google will be bringing in really brilliant techies who are low-information simplistic voters (but think of themselves as sophisticated). Colorado’s progressive infestation will worsen.

          1. Yeah. I remember when Colorado was reliably red. There’s always been liberal enclaves in Denver and Boulder. I do seem to meet more and more libertarians though.

            1. I think that’s the result of the soft red that is this wild west mixing with some liberals.

              1. Maybe. I seem to meet people who are locals that are libertarians. Maybe the new liberals are softening some of the traditional red worship of cops, war, and God.
                Or, maybe, the more people move in, the more of every kind you’re gonna meet.

            2. Boulder is the most beautiful city I’ve ever been to.

              On a side note DenverJ, ever been to the wynkoop? It was a favorite spot of mine when I lived there in the 90s cause I shoot, and I couldn’t believe when I visited denver recently that it hasn’t changed at all.

              1. Oh yeah, I go to the Wynkoop all the time. Love the full sized tables and micro brews.
                Often play a while there (happy hour=open tables), then wander up to Tarantulas, which has changed. In fact, they moved to a new space, ground floor, across the street from their old place.

                1. I went there with my dad to shoot on a Sunday. They said it was free cause nobody was working the counter. In NYC it costs 12 to 14 an hour per person where I go lol, so I was pretty stunned/happy.

                2. I was sorry to see that Shakespeares is gone. I practically lived there.

                  1. Yeah, it was a big deal. Lots of people were sad.

      3. They were able to pass magazine capacity restrictions in Colorado. I think that tells me about all I need to know.

        1. Does this mean that in Boulder you have smaller mags, i.e., Boulder law overrides Colorado state law?

          If I remember right, Magpul was headquartered in Boulder right?

          1. Not sure. I know the ar is pretty much dead here. But we did manage to shake up some things that election year

          2. And now I think they are in texas.

    2. really a sugar tax

      I assume sugary drinks they approve of are spared? Orange juice and the like?

      1. Most of them. It was worded “5 grams of added sugar or substitute” so juice might pass, but diet /no carb will still be taxed.

        1. Did hippies who have issues with aspartame get together with sugar-control mommies to form a coalition? That might just explain this tax.

        2. A tax on diet soda? Wtf. Why?

      2. And Pumpkin Spice Lattes are exempt, too, I bet?

        1. Double caramel macchiato frappuccino mocha with whip

    3. It’ll be even funnier in ten years when they’re forced to tax sugar substitutes to make up for the shortfalls caused by dwindling sugar consumption.

  27. But don’t worry! This will be paid by the distributor, not the customer.

    Phew.

    1. Where have we heard a comment about “the stupidity of the American voter”?

      Something about how you’re not “taxing the people, but the [health] insurance plan”.

      F***ing busybodies.

    2. See how the leftist loonies react when you say you want to tax abortion providers, but that you’re not taxing abortions.

    3. Re: It’s a tax on the distributor, not the customer.

      Maybe Gruber was right after all. These people are stupid but the problem is that they will drag everyone else off the cliff as well.

      Obamacare architect in 6th video: ‘Mislabeling’ helped us get rid of tax breaks

      And the only way we could get rid of it was first by mislabeling it, calling it a tax on insurance plans rather than a tax on people when we all know it’s a tax on people who hold those insurance plans.

      1. Well you shouldn’t have taken it. Apparently there was only one.

        1. Ha. That’s pretty good.

  28. “Please consult twitter for additional puns”

    What pun?

    1. People don’t know what puns are anymore.

      Now “pun” seems to mean “anything that I think is clever”

    2. Weiner cut off?

      Shackleford really likes the weiner…

      jokes.

    3. OK, so no one has seen The Producers

    4. Lap, no one thinks you’re witty.

      1. close enough

  29. Donald Trump’s response is to suggest that Weiner is a security risk for Hillary Clinton’s campaign.

    Okay, fine. But if infidelity makes you a security risk and somehow disqualifying for the presidency, when is Trump going to drop out of the race?

    1. IS Trump cheating on his wife right now? If he is, then we have an issue. If not, then we don’t. Sorry but “he once got divorced” doesn’t cut it.

      1. Still sucking Trump’s cock, I see. Tool.

  30. See how the leftist loonies react when you say you want to tax abortion providers, but that you’re not taxing abortions.

    Some things are true.

    Some things are not true.

    I know the truth when I see it.

  31. So, has the Kopeckni Capuchin Kaspersky Whatever-the-hell-his-name-is national anthem freak out been discussed around here? Everywhere I look online, there’s a report, or commentary, or some such about it.

    Is it really all that news-worthy?

    1. That is the who gives a fuck story of the summer so far. If he doesn’t’ want to stand, that is his business. Of course he is a complete moron doing a huge disservice for whatever cause he thinks he is advancing by associating it with hating the entire country. But he is free to be a moron. The best thing for all concerned is to ignore him.

      1. I plan to point this out to my kid when he’s older and say, “if you’re going to be an asshole, don’t wait until you’re benched and irrelevant. Its one thing to make $12M for doing nothing, its another thing to wipe your ass with it in front of people.”

        1. Yup. He of all people should know that your ability as an athlete to get away with stupid shit is directly proportional to your value on the field. If you do stupid shit like this, you better be Cam Newton not some one year wonder making so much money the team couldn’t give you away in the off season.

          And the NFL is quite the fucking piece of work these days. They let Kapernick not stand for the anthem., the entire Rams team do their “don’t shoot hands up” routine but they wouldn’t let the Cowboys wear a patch to honor the five cops murdered in Dallas. Way to be in tune with your customer base there Roger, you fucking idiot son.

          1. They’re afraid that the Balmer and Chicago PDs would pistol whip the Ravens and Bears players until they got the same treatment.

      2. It’s also the 49ers business should they choose to make it so.

        Do people know that the NFL has approved players running onto the field with their hands up to show solidarity with the Michael Brown false narrative, hands up don’t shoot ?

        They are also allowed to wear “I can’t breath” Tee shirts in pre game warm ups ?

        The Dallas Cowboys were recently denied permission to wear a sticker on their helmets honoring the 5 cops shot in Dallas a few months ago.

        1. It’s refreshing to see a large organization not sucking up to the pigs.

          1. Jerry probably said, “don’t let us wear these so we can sho solidarity without having to wear them”

    2. Ehhh, he was exercising his First Amendment rights not saluting but the critics are also exercising their First Amendment rights in criticizing him.

    3. There was a thread yesterday on an article written by Gillespie. General consensus was “he can do what he likes but he’s still being a cunt about it, and his politics are stupid.”

      1. I figured something got posted. What everyone else is saying is pretty much what I was expecting, I just hadn’t seen it crop up in the articles I’d seen today.

    4. This happened in denver in the 90s when Chris Jackson became Mahmoud Abdul Rauf and refused to stand for the anthem. So what they did was have him stay in the licker room until the anthem was over. He took some shit over it but I don’t remember caring; I just loved his game.

      1. The licker room? I would like to visit that room, please.

      2. What is the licker room?

      3. Is the licker room where the groupies hang out?

      4. He did it in the name of the Nation of Islam.

        Then Hakeem Olajuwan schooled him on what real Islam teaches, and that respecting the flag falls under the teachings of Islam.

        Apparently The Dream falls under the heading of the “not a violent terrorist or a rampaging racist” form of Islam.

    5. Would anyone have even cared if he was just, like, a Jehovah’s Witness or had some other religious reason to not engage in the Idolatry of the State??

      1. The pledge of allegiance is much worse, but yeah, what EBS said.

      2. Idolatry of the State

        This is what got me even asking about it. Since I haven’t typically paid much attention to things like this, it kinda shocks me to see so many people doing just that. It looks like some people want his blood for nothing more than not being real happy with the way things are in the U.S. these days. It’s all just some socially-enforced loyalty oath: You will, by God, get happy about America and show your fealty RIGHT NOW!!”

        Plus, so many of these bitchers are also ones that say they want less government, but just flat-out worship the State.

        And, of course, that gets into. “Just what do you mean by ‘nation/country’?”, and the fact that government isn’t society, etc.

        Ugh…this kind of shit is just so draining.

        1. It’s tribalism. But that’s OK. It’s possible to love your country and your fellow country men, but dislike your government. But, many people confuse the two. Instead of “I love my country, but distrust my government”, it’s, “you don’t support the war (I’m thinking Dixie Chicks), so you don’t support the troops, and basically you are a Commie Traitor.”
          The conflation of the nation and the state, I.E., the state=the people, is the Nationalism that caused so much death and destruction for much of history.

        2. Hopefully one day we won’t have a country and can join the the rest of the world in being a shithole.

  32. Google is building a new office here, 1000 new families will be moving here soon.

    Oh noes! Teh gentrifying hordez!

    I eagerly wait the wailing and gnashing of teeth certain to ensue.

    1. Yeah, uh, Boulder is pretty gentrified already. I’m guessing the bitching will be because of roadz and schools. I think the Google folk will feel right at home.

      1. Yeah. I only dislike it in the “God I wish I could afford a home anywhere near my work” way. But I don’t blame Google for that. This town is pretty much college kids, and tech people. Or the trustifarian people. We just limit the building so much that even a starter home goes for 300k in town.

      2. Brooklyn is gentrified. Boulder is Aryan.

        1. You know who else was Aryan?

  33. Build-A-Bear Workshop Introduces New Eevee Plush

    Eevee follows in the Poke-steps of Pikachu as Build-A-Bear’s second Pokemon plush.

    Paging jesse?

    1. What language is that?

      1. “Millenial”.

  34. I saw two Gary Johnson yard signs during lunch today.

    1. Right next to the “Stay off lawn” signs?

      1. They were public locations.

        Intersections of major streets.

          1. Rand’s home town.

            1. Imma seeing plenty up here in E-Town area as well.

              does Gary have a ground game in KY?

              1. Maybe Paul loaned him some help. I don’t think Rand is having to work that hard to win reelection.

                1. I can’t find a poll, no one thinks its enough of a race to even bother polling yet.

    2. Johnson is the (somewhat) right kind of Weiner to get excited about.

    3. I have a neighbor who has an LP and a Gary Johnson yard sign. They sprayed me with the hose when I mentioned a Rapesquatch, so I don’t think they are an H&R regular.

      1. STEVE SMITH’S GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT WAS CONVINCING WORLD HE DIDN’T EXIST.

    4. Johnson 2016: I’m far better than Weiner.

      1. Out with Wiener, in with Johnson.

  35. ‘Mars Mission’ Crew Emerges From Yearlong Simulation In Hawaii

    Six people spent that time living in a dome on a rocky volcanic plain on the island of Hawaii. The NASA-funded experiment was meant to simulate a long-term settlement on Mars.

    1. 1st words upon emergence: “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fucked you(thanks!), and especially fuck you Nasa!”

    2. Wouldn’t, might, would, wouldn’t, wouldn’t

      1. I didn’t put it in order. I do agree with your order though.

    3. 12 men enter, 6 men leave!

  36. They were able to pass magazine capacity restrictions in Colorado. I think that tells me about all I need to know.

    Thirty years ago, when I still lived in Colorado, the liberal types were pretty much restricted to the Denver-Boulder corridor. They could only shit in their own nests. Now…

    1. Yup. Shit done changed. People finally realized it’s a nice place to live. The wrong people.

      1. Hey, I got here recently! It’s not all bad.

        1. I had to move back east because I couldn’t go 5 minutes in denver without having to deal with a cop. They either need more real crime or an 80% reduction in the force.

          1. Yeah that’s Denver. Back then they had that asshole from LA as the police chief. The burbs aren’t bad, at least for a white guy. I have told the story a couple of times about the Denver cops when we were living on the west side, and Ella got hit in the head with a liquor bottle, the gangbanger involved fired a shot into the house, I thought Ella had been shot, and I got thrown in jail after being threatened by a cop, whilst in handcuffs that “it’s dark out here, and nobody can see what happens to you”
            Yeah, fuck the Denver police.

            1. I have plenty of bad denver/aurora police stories.
              I think my favorite one is that I still have a prohibitive noise charge on my record for playing radio too loud. Not the most serious one by far, just the funniest.

            2. Re: the west side. I once ended up in the middle of a Mexican brawl and got my ass kicked. I went to the hospital and as I was being stitched up 2 cops came up to me and started grilling me. I got a disturbing the peace charge from them.

              1. Yeah, the Mexicans gotta be handled right. Everybody does,i guess. But I speak a little Spanish, and I’ve grown up with Mexicans.
                Moving to Aurora, with a much bigger black population, has been a learning experience.
                Huge amount of Indian/Pakistani immigrants on this side of town, also.
                People are people, but there are… I don’t know… insider stuff that marks you as one of “us” instead of one of “them”, you know?

            3. This reminds me of Vermont. About the chillest state in the union for a long time, but I remember the first time a friend of mine got shot in the face (poor girl had a cast on her leg from playing field hockey, and her boyfriend actually jumped through a window to avoid getting shot.) It happened in my friend’s band’s apartment, and we kept partying there after that. We were such innocents that we did not give a fuck.

  37. Six senators urge Obama to prioritize cyber at G20 in China

    Six U.S. senators have urged President Barack Obama to prioritize cyber crime at a this weekend’s G20 summit in China in the wake of the $81-million heist from Bangladesh’s central bank, according to a letter obtained by Reuters.

    1. Hildog to emphasize cyber security…

      …I just can’t keep a straight face.

  38. If I remember right, Magpul was headquartered in Boulder right?

    They folded their tents and went north, to Wyoming, where they were welcomed with open arms.

    1. It’s a bad sign. Stuff like that means that liberty is receding.

      1. I’m hoping the gun rights will make a comeback. It’s hard after columbine and Aurora. The feelz won.

  39. Apparently, the Tropical Storm of No Great Importance is still threatening to boomerang around and ruin my Labor Day. Oh noes, 40 mph wind and pouring rain! Is there not enough LA disaster porn going on? I mean, granted, instead of helping his neighbor, Florida Man will be out stealing meth and TVs.

  40. Has Huma had some work done recently? She’s looking pretty yummy.

    1. I have a weakness for Semitic women. Even though she is thoroughly evil and likely a Lesbian who wouldn’t sleep with any man let alone me on a thousand dollar bet, I have always found her quite ymmy myself.

      1. T.M.I.

        1. To adapt a remark someone else made about you, John – your filter is even less operational than mine.

        2. Saying you like Semitic women is TMI? God you nerds are weird.

          1. I’m glad how nobody made a really tasteless joke about how Abedin doesn’t want to touch the Gentiles.

            1. Lesbians don’t want women with good taste, they want women who……..

      2. So Debbie what’s her name Schultz you would?

      1. Would?

        1. Crusty agreed to only comment if he wouldn’t– shorter list, easier to manage.

      2. I thought she looked pretty good in that Weiner doc. Even when she had ugly sad face. And when a woman’s with me, it’s important that she have a decent ugly sad face.

    2. Who knew age-defying facial cream came from an old vile corrupt cunt? Huma knew all along.

    3. Eh, depends on the angle of the picture. She’s like the Two-Face Woman from Seinfeld.

      1. This.

        She either looks hot or haggard and it all depends upon the camera angle.

  41. Boulder is pretty gentrified already. I’m guessing the bitching will be because of roadz and schools. I think the Google folk will feel right at home.

    I was mostly joking, but based on the scale of bitching and moaning about Googlers in San Fran, I’m guessing the upward pressure on housing prices (among other things) will not go unremarked.

  42. Also- ‘way back in 1973, when I got there, Colorado was jam packed with people who wanted to be The Last Person to Move to Colorado and would have been absolutely thrilled to lock the gate behind them. I suspect it’s worse now.

    1. The growth is phenomenal. It must be what California was like in the 50’s and sixties. I remember the people you are talking about, but I don’t really meet them, anymore. Now, everybody seems to be an immigrant, and I see a lot of “there’s plenty of room, come on in!” Of course, that may just be the circles that I socialize with. And rent in Denver has gone through the roof.
      I’m not sure if the rest of the state is growing like Denver. Housing in Colorado springs is still pretty reasonable (drink), I’ve been told.

      1. Boulder has been bad, and we won’t slow down. Louisville is growing fast. I think Longmont or fort Collins might still be ok.

      2. You want to laugh?. In the 90s I lived in Brooks Towers downtown and paid 450 a month. I also had a loft on Blake st after coors field was built. I can’t remember the rent but if I could afford it then it wasn’t much.

        1. So, a crappy little studio be Mississippi and Federal will cost 800. Anything slightly better easily gets into $1100. Two bedroom about $1500. Downtown? Fahgetaboutit

          1. I have the cheapest apt in Boulder I could find. 650. The hill is about 1000 a room.

            1. Well, that’s not bad. Depends on wages, I’d guess.

              1. It’s great, I just cant move now.

                  1. I should clarify, that’s my share. It’s 1900 for this 3 br

                    1. See, that makes more sense. I was gonna say, 650 for your own place is great.

            2. That’s cheap. I live in Amherst, MA, and have cats. Rent starts around $1200.00 here.

          2. Is east Colfax still east colfax

            1. Yeah. West Colfax was kinda sorta cleaned up yrs ago. East Colfax is still bad. I’m currently living not too far from East Colfax, Dell Mar Circle area

              1. Oh shit ur in the hood kind of.

                1. I’m not in the hood, but I’m definitely within walking distance. Understanding, of course, that the “hood” in Denver is nothing like the “hood” in other places. My current GF moved from Flint, and she just laughs when say “oh that’s a bad neighborhood”.

    2. When I was a child I lived with my great-aunt in Littleton for a winter. It really wasn’t that bad a place.

  43. “Huma Abedin is separating from Anthony Weiner over his latest sexting scandal.”

    She said that “I’m only doing what any woman with a modicum of self-respect would have done…uh, wait, I mean, under my particular specific circumstances, ah, uh…”

  44. Am I a bad person if my initial reaction to Gene Wilder’s death is “wow, I’m going to get a lot of ratio. I’m kind of psyched that everything he was ever in is freeleech today- wonder if I have enough disk space.”

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