Trump Wants Clinton Medical Records Released, U.S. Criticizes Turkey in Syria, Lightning Kills Hundreds of Reindeer in Norway: A.M. Links

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  • Marie Hale/flickr

    Donald Trump calls on Hillary Clinton to release her medical records.

  • Turkish forces are pushing further into Syria as the U.S. criticizes the choice of targets.
  • The drug manufacturer Mylan will offer a generic Epipen for half the price.
  • Another scare over unfounded reports of a shooting, this time in the airport at Los Angeles.
  • Former Congressman Anthony Weiner is reportedly sexting again.
  • More than 200 reindeer in Norway were killed by a bolt of lightning.

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  1. Donald Trump calls on Hillary Clinton to release her medical records.

    Long form.

    1. No, first release a single and see if it hits Top 40.

      1. I’m making over $15k a month working part time. I kept hearing other people tell me how much money they can make online so I decided to look into it. Well, it was all true and has totally changed my life. Go this website and go toTech tab for more work details…Now this Website… http://goo.gl/zO9Jnm

    2. Medical records for tax returns?

      1. The Dems have made such a big deal over Trump’s taxes (and I’d like to think he’s playing them like a fiddle) that he should demand medical records *and* Wall Street speeches.

        1. And open the books on the Clinton Foundation. Although anything they actually released would be faked anyway.

          1. Faked, delayed, and redacted.

          2. Meh, if 90% overhead isn’t enough for most people to think it is a sham foundation, I don’t know what else will.

            1. Why are you against AIDS assistance, CPA?

            2. I keep waiting for someone to bring up tithing.

            3. I don’t think that number is quite right.

              http://www.philanthropy.com/ar…..the/230745

              1. “Correct the Record” shill?

      2. The whole “release your tax returns” thing is just a trap for outsiders. Trump is likely has taken advantage of tax benefits that were put into the Code for that reason, but are now vilified by the left. There is no benefit to releasing his tax returns.

        And contrary to what Joy Reid said on Meet the Press yesterday, Trump’s refusal to release his returns is NOT worse than the Clinton Foundation scandals.

        1. There is no benefit to releasing his tax returns.

          Of course, but by harping on her medical records he is making it all too easy for her to sling shit back at him.

        2. Oh please. The masters of the loopholes are wealthy left-wing Democrats like John Kerry and Harry Reid and I’m sure Warren takes full advantage herself. I doubt any of them pay more than they have to – if that.

          1. And at least half the staff at MSNBC.

          2. Oh please. The masters of the loopholes are wealthy left-wing Democrats like John Kerry and Harry Reid and I’m sure Warren takes full advantage herself Donald Trump. I doubt any of them pay more than they have to – if that.

            1. Oh please. The masters of the loopholes are wealthy left-wing Democrats like John Kerry and Harry Reid and I’m sure Warren takes full advantage herself Donald Trump. I doubt any of them pay more than they have to – if that

              Duh.

              Did you think that was a revelation?

        3. Might as well release them. Anyone that gives a shit will hate him no matter what.

          And if he gets crap for exploiting loopholes, he can point out that “exploiting loopholes” is actually just a way of saying “complying with the law”.

          Wouldn’t be terrible to have someone saying “of course I took every deduction and credit I could and used every trick to keep taxes to a minimum, what kind of fucking idiot wouldnt?”

          1. Meh. With the vindictive fucks in the media prepared to scrutinize every page of every return, plus the partisan hacks in the IRS and Justice, I’d be wary of releasing returns for any year for which the SOL hasn’t run yet, especially if I had taken an aggressive position on a major item.

    3. Hello.

  2. More than 200 reindeer in Norway were killed by a bolt of lightning.

    Jesus takes His birthday back!

    1. This looks more like the handiwork of Thor, if you ask me.

      1. A warning shot from Mother Gaia. She’s pissed about the warming.

        1. These poor reindeer are now Zeus juice.

      2. I hope Blitzen was at least spared. Professional courtesy and all.

    2. Very, very frightening.

  3. Former Congressman Anthony Weiner is reportedly sexting again.

    Oh, good, we get to talk about him some more.

    1. “Weiner Thrust Into Spotlight”

      1. Weiner: “I get knocked down, but I get up again. You’re never gonna keep me down”

        “Sexting the night away…”
        “Sexting the night away…”

        1. For those too old or too young to know, this is the song.

          1. I’m pretty sure that nearly everyone on H&R was in that the teens-30s age group in the 90s and knows that song by heart.

        2. Hey Injun. Am I breaking some sort of Indian culinary rule by spreading delicious Austrian sour cherry jam on my Naan bread?

          1. Not at all, dude. Cuisine is fun with fusion.

            If you ever travel to India, you should try the pizza there. You’ll find paneer, peppers sauteed with tikka masala, and all sorts of Indian variants. Made by big companies like Dominos and Pizza Hut.

            1. Mmm… saag paneer… *eyes roll back in head*

            2. Heh. That sounds pretty cool.

            3. Terminology question: yesterday, I made a crepe-like dish that resembled a masala dosa, but the crepe batter was based on besan rather than rice and urad dal. I know those southerners have a name for it, but I can’t remember what it is…?

              1. I had to look it up. 🙂

                Does this sound like it? Besan ka puda?

                1. Close. I didn’t use rice flour, just besan, very thin batter. So, I’ll call it Besan ka puda, just for the ease of it, and because puda sounds slightly suggestive. Stuffing was the conventional potato, onions, curry leaves, mustard seeds, lemon juice, green chiles, turmeric, ginger. I will confess that it was pretty damn good, if you like southern (I love southern).

                  Thanks, sahib.

      2. Careful there, spotlights can get pretty hot.

    2. Not necessarily? Remember when OJ Simpson was back in the news – but only briefly, because the public had been OJed out?

    3. “Weiner Rises Above Johnson To Grab Head(lines)”

    4. In that picture he looks like he’s barely holding on to life.

  4. Whatever you think of Colin Kaepernick or his protest, is it alright that if I take a baseball bat to the face of the next person who says “If he doesn’t like this country he should leave” in response to it?

      1. Would you tell a libertarian to leave the country if he/she sat for the anthem?

        What I’m goddam tired of is people calling this a slap in the face of veterans, and claiming that soldiers in the middle east are fighting to keep us safe. Keeping us safe, just like the soldiers in the 1950s kept us safe from invading Koreans, and soldiers in the 1960s kept us safe from marauding Vietnamese.

        1. Bingo.

        2. If you don’t like my comment, go to Russia.

        3. Exactly. The mindless worship of all things military and flag-wrapped by millions is more nauseating than this pointless grasp for news attention from a has-been quarterback.

          1. He’s behaving exactly like atheists bitching about “In God We Trust”, and he deserves the same treatment. I’m no flag-worshipper but doesn’t mean he isn’t being a dick. Which is fine if that’s the way he wants to play it.

            1. yep.

              he has the right to protest whatever wants.

              but forgive me for calling bullshit on his ‘self-promotion masked as political statement’.

              Anyone who cheers just because he’s protesting “shit you don’t like either” is a fucking rube. he should be shitcanned and allowed to continue his protest at little-league games where he might impress someone.

            2. As a young atheist I refused to say the pledge as mandated. Did I a) sit through the ceremony every morning, b) petition the district to revoke the words I found offensive, or c) elide the line?

              Maybe it made me a hypocrite, but I didn’t see anything wrong with “under God” per se. It just wasn’t something I felt applied. So I skipped that part.

              1. Don’t worry about it. The “Under God” bit was added to the original pledge at a later date.
                Nothing hypocritical about going back to the original.

        4. I’m a nationalist for my society and my civilization, not for any government at any level, ever.

          1. my society and my civilization

            So, white people?

        5. The worst one is “protecting our freedom” because if the military wasn’t indiscriminately killing brown people in the middle east we would somehow be less free.

    1. Whatever you think of Colin Kaepernick or his protest, is it alright that if I take a baseball bat to the face of the next person who says “If he doesn’t like this country he should leave” in response to it?

      I understand it’s an annoying and facile argument, but it’s not wrong. People escape their oppressive homelands all the time. Though most of the people saying it likely don’t really understand the implications of their statement – they simply want the guy to shut up and go away – they’re really just asking the guy to be logically consistent.

      1. Or you could, you know, petition your government for redress of your grievances? Isn’t that like a quintessentially American thing? Like, way more American than “If you don’t like it, get the hell out!”?

        1. All that sounds hard.
          I’m just not going to stand up when a song is played at an athletic contest.
          REVOLUTION!

        2. Or you could, you know, petition your government for redress of your grievances?

          Do you think the “love it or leave it” crowd understands that, or is even aware of it?

      2. How about he focuses on getting his career back on track instead of engaging in childish bull shit?

        Fricken Broncos are going with two no-namers rather than trade for him. Stew on that.

        Mind you, I wonder if Elway is unnecessarily creating these messes.

        1. Fricken Broncos are going with two no-namers rather than trade for him. Stew on that.

          Not because they didn’t want him, but because they couldn’t work out the financials. He’s guaranteed $12 million and the teams couldn’t figure out a cost-sharing plan to where the Broncos could afford his salary, because they’re right up against the cap.

          Incidentally, he mentioned that he doesn’t care if he loses his endorsements or it ends his career. It’s pretty easy to say that when you know you’re getting “fuck you” paychecks regardless of whether you play or not.

          1. Oh yeh. Forgot about that financial bit!

            1. I think he meant “come back and say that in 5 years when you’ve pissed away all that money because you were sure it would continue forever and now you can’t earn anything on your name or your athletic ability”.

              Being cavalier about millions of dollars is something one does when they don’t think millions of dollars are difficult to come by.

            2. Forgot about that financial bit!

              Kaeppy hasn’t.

      3. I understand it’s an annoying and facile argument, but it’s not wrong.

        It may not be wrong, but it’s not very relevant. He obviously doesn’t dislike the country enough to want to leave, or he would have. He’s a wealthy athlete. He knows he could leave.

        1. I was fortunate to have been given a chance by a coach to make millions but I’m gonna take a misguided political stance based on a specious evidence.

          Classic goof ball move.

          1. He’s paid to throw a damn ball around. Why would anyone expect him to be smart about anything else?

          2. Nope. He’s getting paid no matter what. This is a classic example of nothing to lose.

            1. Nfl players have large portions of their contracts in non guaranteed money unlike baseball and basketball players.

      4. He is not personally being oppressed.

        He is speaking out on behalf of those who are.

        Well, actually no one gave a sht until people started sticking microphones in his face.

        1. He’s speaking out against the horror of decades of Democrat control and mismanagement of the inner cities which has resulted in ridiculous levels of poverty and crime?
          Hm, must’ve missed that.

    2. That statement is invariably presented in the form of an incomplete thought; leave and go where? How? It may be comparatively easy for someone who’s independently wealthy, but for an average person, just try looking into what is involved/required to establish residency, even in an EU country.

      It is really more just the statist version of the old “you can have any color you like, as long as it’s black.”

      1. This. “If you don’t like it, leave” is the right wing version of demanding “safe spaces”.

      2. People escape oppressive situations all of the time, on flimsy boats, walking across deserts, under gunfire, etc.

    3. Agreed, though I think if he actually cared about injustice, he should actually do something more than this self-aggrandizing virtue-signaling.

      1. That said, most of the time this year, Kaepernick will be sitting all game long. You’d think he’d welcome the opportunity to get up and stretch his legs.

    4. I saw some press conference clips of the guy this morning talking about cops going on paid vacations when they shoot people. He’s at least a HnR lurker, if not a regular.

      If sitting down during the national anthem gives him the media platform to say things like that, I say keep sitting down good sir.

      1. I am Colin Kaepernick!

        1. Exactly. Bunch of bench warmers who never actually get on the field to play.

      2. Like I posted yesterday, I have no problem with him sitting for the anthem and I understand why he’s doing it.

        Doesn’t mean I’m not going to criticize him for being a racially myopic tribalist and acting as if black people are the only ones being oppressed by authoritarian government institutions. Because that’s clearly the primary motivating factor behind his activism, not concern with “justice” as an over-arching principle.

        1. And let’s not forget that this douchebag was giving his press conference while wearing a Che shirt.

          Anyone who’s ignorant enough to lionize that mass-murdering asshole gangster deserves all the scorn they get.

    5. I also find the “people died” argument to be infuriating.

      People have died for a lot of reasons. I would venture to guess the most lives have been lost defending monarchies, but no one ever says we should respect the King because many lives have been lost defending him.

      1. That reminds me of that really dumb bumper sticker “No One Died When Clinton Lied.” Yeah, no one except a bunch of Serbs. Who cares about them, amirite?

        1. And some Sudanese aspirin factory workers.

        2. Bosnian Serbs make shoes for Melania Trump’s White House march

          A Bosnian Serb factory on Monday presented two pairs of shoes as a gift for the wife of U.S. Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, Slovenian-born Melania, in a gesture of support for Trump’s White House campaign.

          Many Serbs in the Balkans back Trump, ill-disposed to rival Hillary Clinton whose husband Bill backed NATO air strikes on Bosnian Serb positions toward the end of the 1992-95 Bosnian war. He also advocated a 1999 NATO bombing of then-Yugolsavia to halt the killing and expulsion of ethnic Albanians.

          1. Backed? Advocated? Bill was the president and effective leader of NATO. He wasn’t some underling supporting the administration. It was his administration.

        3. They died because he lied about banging interns? (Pretty sure that’s the point).

          Presidents are all murderous maniacs.

          1. When he was accused of taking money from China, he distracted us with a sex scandal. When that got surprisingly hot, he bombed Serbia.

      2. It would be good to have a running catalog of stupid arguments that are made frequently. Here, I’ll start:

        “If you don’t like it here, leave it.”

        “They’re taking our jobs.”

        “If you didn’t vote, you can’t complain about the outcome.”

        “People died for your right to vote.”

        “Women make 77 cents for every dollar a man makes.”

        “One in five women are raped on college campuses.”

        1. I think the vote thing has a point. Either participate, or don’t.

          1. I sort of think that if you do vote, you shouldn’t complain, because you have given your tacit support to the process.

            Actually, I don’t really think that. You get to complain either way because voting or not makes approximately zero difference to all the people trying to take your stuff and tell you what to do.

          2. Either participate, or don’t.

            If only it was a mutual arrangement.

          3. 1. If you don’t vote, you have no right to complain about the outcome.

            2. If you vote, you are agreeing to the outcome, and therefore have not right to complain about it.

            Shorter version: sit down and shut your fucking mouth.

      3. And if you are talking about the people who supposedly died to protect good things like our freedoms, then they died exactly to protect your right and ability to stage silly protests and make your views on things like this known.

    6. I don’t really give a shit about any of that. Hit the guy in the face for wearing the Castro T. He is a pinko.

    7. I think it’s totally idiotic that every fucking sporting event involves flag fetishism and patriotic displays. Can’t we just watch grown men play a game without loyalty oaths and anthems?

      Too bad he’s not protesting that.

  5. Burkina Faso bans big buttocks beauty contest

    The government of Burkina Faso has banned an annual beauty contest for women with the biggest buttocks, saying such events are sexist.

    Adverts for this weekend’s third edition of ‘Miss Bim-Bim’, carrying an image of two fully clothed women with exaggeratedly large behinds, provoked an outcry on social media.

    “Our role is to do everything to avoid damaging the image of women,” said Minister Laure Zongo in a statement, adding that social media criticism had persuaded her to act.

    The male organizer of the event, Hamado Doambahe, said it aimed to promote a more positive body image for African women and encourage fashion designers to use African costumes.

    1. Doambahe likes big butts and he cannot lie?

      1. Sir MIxalot gets a last-minute refund on the tickets he bought to Burkina Faso.

        1. Alternate joke: “We’re Burkina Faso, not Burkina *Fatso*!”

          1. +1 Ouagadougou

    2. Were any of the potential contestants Muslim? Because I’ve been wanting to find a place to make a Burkini Fatso pun for several days now.

      1. Ouch. That’s worse than my Weiner getting back up joke up the comments thread. 🙂

      2. I would just like to point out that even though you beat out Eddie for that joke by like a minute, I made this same joke last week when the burkini ban was all the rage. So no first for you, Fiat of Etiquette.

    3. It’s hard to argue with Zongo.

      1. Zongo just pawn in game of life.

        Also, she probably has a small butt.

    4. You call these “big buttocks”?

    5. Trigger warning: link has no pics.

    6. Great – another Burkini story.

    7. *Patiently waits for HM’s contribution to this subthread*

      1. HM has moved on to nursing porn.

    8. I’m sure that was the biggest problem facing Women in Burkina Faso.

    9. Sexist beauty pageants for fat assed women might be the least awful part of living in Burkina Faso.

  6. More than 200 reindeer in Norway were killed by a bolt of lightning.

    Now what’s Santa going to do in December?

    1. Those were the ones who couldn’t make Santa’s cut.

      1. His organization operates on the “up or out” principle.

        1. They were on the naughty list

          1. “Sometimes it is necessary for Santa to kill a reindeer to encourage the others. Ho, ho, ho!”

  7. Feds: Postal Worker Stashed Nearly 50,000 Pieces Of Undelivered Mail In Her California Apartment

    According to the plea agreement, Watanabe was hired as a mail carrier in June 2006, and she began collecting “large quantities of such mail” in her Placentia residence in 2011. While the undelivered mail was seized by law enforcement agents in late-2013, court filings do not indicate why more than two years passed before Watanabe was charged.

    Though Watanabe faces a statutory maximum of three years in custody, prosecutors have agreed to recommend that a term of imprisonment not exceed “the low end of the applicable Sentencing Guidelines range.”

    In similar previous prosecutions, mail carriers have claimed that the volume on their routes was so onerous that they opted to hide the mail instead of delivering it.

    1. he began collecting “large quantities of such mail” in her Placentia residence in 2011

      I thought that said Placenta residence. I’ve been hanging around here too much.

      1. The U.S. Postal Cervix?

        1. Where the hell is Swiss?

          1. I am busy.

            But I do have time for a

            *narrows gaze*

      2. That’s a natural reaction after the hazing that is H and R.

    2. In similar previous prosecutions, mail carriers have claimed that the volume on their routes was so onerous that they opted to hide the mail instead of delivering it.

      JERRY: Hey, I’ve been trying to jam stuff in the box, like you told me, but sometimes it says, like, “Photographs – Do not bend”.

      NEWMAN: “Do not bend”. (Laughs evilly) Just crease, crumple, cram.. you’ll do fine. (Phone rings. Newman answers it) Hello?.. This is he. I don’t understand..

      very well. (Hangs up in disappointment)

      JERRY: What?

      NEWMAN: That was the Vice President of the post office. I didn’t get the transfer.. They knew it wasn’t me doing my route!

      JERRY: How did they know?!

      NEWMAN: (Stands up) Too many people go their mail! Close to 80%. No body from the post office has ever cracked the 50% barrier! It’s like the 3-minute mile!

    3. Watanabe. Her name probably translates as “hand it over area.”

    4. Old story from when I was growing up in India.

      A mailman was too lazy to deliver mail, AND burnt the mail during the winter to stay warm.

      He was eventually busted but who knows what important letters he failed to deliver.

      1. “They couldn’t have been that important…otherwise they would have gotten there, Sir”

    5. “mail carriers have claimed that the volume on their routes was so onerous that they opted to hide the mail instead of delivering it.”

      Only in the public sector you hear stuff like this.

      Suggest privatizing it and see the reaction.

      1. The kid delivering your newspaper has more integrity.

    6. So that’s why I never got my Nintendo 64.

  8. Another scare over unfounded reports of a shooting, this time in the airport at Los Angeles.

    The first time anyone has taken Zorro seriously in a long time.

  9. More than 200 reindeer in Norway were killed by a bolt of lightning.

    Verily, the End of Days.

    1. And God did smite the reindeer.

      1. Pillars of salt would have kept the meat fresh.

        1. A Giant Deer lick?

  10. According to NYPost.com, the most recent exchanges between Weiner and an unnamed divorcee included a provocative photo around 3 a.m. on July 31, 2015 that shows his son next to him in bed.

    No ladyboner could survive that

    1. I’ve said it before, but he like a bad Homeland subplot: “Husband of top adviser steals state secrets for foreign governments after he is caught sending bulge pics to lady with low self-esteem.”

    2. Jesus fuck, what the fuck is wrong with that fucking guy.

      1. So, uhhh, wanna see the outline of my hog?

        1. Sure, i could use a laugh.

        2. Like on tracing paper?

        3. That hog better be of age, Crusty. I won’t tolerate piglet abuse.

      2. The pathetic part is the somewhat sympathetic article in the WP about him today.

        The man is a first class moron and liberals still only care about stated intentions.

  11. Russians terrified by appearance of massive mushroom cloud

    The sudden appearance of a gigantic mushroom-shaped cloud over Russia sparked fears of a nuclear attack.

    In fact, the unusually-shaped cloud appeared as a result of a powerful thunderstorm near Kemerovo, western Siberia.

    But local residents feared the worst, due to it bearing the symbol of a nuclear explosion, with many calling the emergency services, Sputnik News reported.

    Others were concerned that there had been an explosion at a nearby coal mine in the Kuzbass region.

    1. with many calling the emergency services

      Hmm, kind of pointless if it really had been a nuke. Of course, if they ducked and covered first, they would have been OK.

      1. +1 under the desk

      2. Maybe they were calling to tell them to switch off the doomsday device.

      3. The authorities won’t notice a nuke unless I call them.

    2. Chris Christie was in Russia?

  12. Police Sergeant Who Filmed Himself Taking Pot Is Released

    A New Mexico police sergeant accused of unwittingly recording himself on a lapel camera taking marijuana from his office and giving it to his girlfriend has been released from jail.

    KOB-TV in Albuquerque reported Saturday that Grants police Sgt. Roshern McKinney is out of jail.

    It wasn’t immediately known Sunday under what conditions he was released.

    State police say McKinney was arrested Wednesday. An investigation was requested in July after the video recording was found.

    He faces charges of distribution of marijuana, conspiracy and felony embezzlement.

    Best & Brightest

  13. Another scare over unfounded reports of a shooting, this time in the airport at Los Angeles.

    Amazing.You don’t even have to commit a crime to get pants shitting chaos. You just have to yell that it’s happening.

    1. So if a leftist is constipated, you don’t need to get him laxative then.

      Time to short the shares of whoever makes Dulcolax.

  14. Canadians want to believe, poll shows 4 out of 5 say aliens are real

    Though the vast majority of Canadians believe in extraterrestrials, nearly the same amount say creatures such as Bigfoot aren’t real, according to a new poll released Wednesday by the Angus Reid Institute. Overall, however, it appears Canadians are very open to the idea of the supernatural.

    “About four in five Canadians say there are simply things that happen on Earth that can’t be explained by science,” said Angus Reid research associate Dave Korzinski.

    While 79 per cent believe intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe, nearly half of Canadians also believe aliens have already visited our planet, the poll found. About the same amount say some people have psychic powers that allow them to predict the future.

    1. They’ve been discovering a lot of planets in other solar systems, the possibility of aliens isn’t far-fetched.

      1. True. But this: nearly half of Canadians also believe aliens have already visited our planet, is far-fetched.

        1. Hey! The Earth is 4.5 billion years old!

        2. I was touched by an alien.

          1. Show me on this dolly where he touched you, li’l Rufus

            1. /Silently slowly moves finger and points in area. Smirk follows.

        3. I tried explaining to my friend the implausibility of the ancient aliens hypothesis that he’s so fond of. That super-beings traveled possibly thousands of light-years to reach our planet, where they set about moving big rocks but never bothering to impart knowledge like germ theory or classical mechanics.

          The response was something like “but the universe seems too big for there not to be alien life”. Which is not exactly a valid objection.

          1. Appeal to personal incredulity, fifteen yard penalty.

          2. where they set about moving big rocks but never bothering to impart knowledge like germ theory or classical mechanics.

            Well, maybe they operate by FYTW

          3. I think aliens are actually time-traveling humans from the future doing research. That’s why they’re not too keen on getting ‘involved.’

            Also, in biology class we had a description of what a future human might look like due to technological advancements and it sounded freakishly like a typical grey alien.

          4. where they set about moving big rocks but never bothering to impart knowledge like germ theory or classical mechanics.

            What if they had no need for either?

          5. I like how those guys always end up painting themselves into a corner and having to argue against evolution of homo sapiens.

      2. Even if your preferred version of the Drake Equation yields you a galactic population of 1 civilization, there are hundreds of billions of other galaxies, many of which are historically and statistically identical to our own. Of course it’s speculation, but since logical inference is all we have to go on, it seems highly unlikely that ours is the only world where parts of the universe came together to become sentient or that became alive on the scale of a microbe.

        1. Is that the equation where you start from the bottom, and now we’re here?

          1. The Drake equation is a magic trick for people who are really bad at math. It’s not a random number, it’s the sum of a series of random numbers. Science!

            Think of a number between 1 and 10, multiply it by ten, add 5, divide it by two, then tell me the result. I’ll magically be able to tell you what your original number was. And, sadly, you won’t believe the number of people who seriously can’t figure out how the trick is done.

            1. There’s no addition in the Drake Equation and its creator readily admits its predictive limitations.

        2. The number of stars (not planets) exceeds the number of grains of sand on earth (including the deserts!) How can anyone NOT believe that there are aliens?

          But this is not the same as believing that aliens have visited earth.

          1. Because there is astonishingly enough, no evidence for it. Just a very strong logical inference.

            1. The way brains have developed on Earth has me depressed about that, too. (in the chordate line, they keep getting more complex from the earliest chordates to the fish to the amphibians to reptiles to mammals)

              1. I would argue that it’s not even a true progression, but more like happenstance piled ontop of happenstance until intelligence reaches a critical mass where it finally conveys an absolute advantage to the spread of those genes. Even within the chordate line, the vast majority of species didn’t benefit from higher intelligence. The smartest iguana of the litter has no greater ability to survive and spread his genes versus that of his siblings with average or even less than average iguana intelligence.

      3. There are two things that are far fetched:

        That there is no extra-terrestrial life.

        That we will have contact with extra-terrestrial life.

        1. That we will have contact with extra-terrestrial life.

          Speak for yourself. I plan to exist forever.

    2. The probability that life, in some form, exists on other planets is more or less 100%.

      The probability that such life has ever contacted or will ever contact us on earth is more or less zero.

      1. The probability that life, in some form, exists on other planets is more or less 100%.

        It’s absolutely something less than 100%, unless you have some new evidence that you’re withholding from humanity. The most logically sound hypothesis alone doesn’t push you over the threshold from uncertainty into certainty.

        The probability that such life has ever contacted or will ever contact us on earth is more or less zero.

        It’s absolutely more than zero and absolutely more than a negative quantity.

        1. Not to be insulting, but is english a second language for you? By writing “more or less”, he means that those probabilities are about/nearly/approximately/practically/effectively 100% and zero.

          It seems as though rather than reading “more or less”, you may have read it as “more or less than“, which would be different (and in which case your criticism would be correct).

          1. Not to be insulting, but is english a second language for you?

            Ha ha right.

            By writing “more or less”, he means that those probabilities are about/nearly/approximately/practically/effectively 100% and zero

            By writing “absolutely” I am directly contrasting the certainty implied by the term with the vague ambiguity of his “more or less”. But either way, great points.

        2. Population [of the universe]: None. Although you might see people from time to time, they are most likely products of your imagination. Simple mathematics tells us that the population of the Universe must be zero. Why? Well given that the volume of the universe is infinite there must be an infinite number of worlds. But not all of them are populated; therefore only a finite number are. Any finite number divided by infinity is zero, therefore the average population of the Universe is zero, and so the total population must be zero.

          1. Yeah, that was probably the stupidest thing he ever wrote.

            1. Well, it was a humorous/satirical novel.

            2. It is not stupid, just wrong in its premises. First, that the universe is infinite, and second ignoring that you can have an infinite set that is part of a larger infinite set I.e. anything smaller than a given infinite set must be finite .it’s wrong because it is trying to be funny.

          2. Proof that life on Earth doesn’t exist. I’m going back to bed.

            1. Prove it does. So am I.

    3. While 79 per cent believe intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe,

      Not unreasonable, statistically speaking.

      nearly half of Canadians also believe aliens have already visited our planet, the poll found.

      Umm…

      About the same amount say some people have psychic powers that allow them to predict the future.

      Oh, I see. Carry on.

    4. The possibility of alien life somewhere in the universe is a near certainty. That they have visited Earth, not so much.

  15. Reports: Clown Trying To Lure Kids Into Woods

    A parent and child’s nightmare coming to a reality in a Greenville County neighborhood.

    According to residents at Fleetwood Manor Apartment, a person dressed as a clown is trying to ‘lure kids into the woods’.

    In response to the reports, the apartment sent out a letter reminding residents to keep their kids safe by not walking alone in the woods at night.

    As explained in the letter, Greenville County law enforcement are conducting daily patrols of the neighborhood because of the reports.

    1. They all float

    2. The good news is that dressing as a clown is one of the least likely ways to win a child’s confidence.

      1. Also, clowns are pretty easy to spot.

    3. What kid isn’t drawn to a dude in clown makeup? Police-and-soccer-mom-manufactured crisis.

    4. A clown and a little boy are walking through the woods late at night when a storm starts to approach. The wind begins to howl in the trees and they can hear thunder in the distance. “I’m scared,” says the boy.

      “How do you think i feel?” says the clown. “I’m the one that’s gotta walk back out of here alone.”

      1. It’s funny because the clown always drives everyone away with his worrying and the kid will run away and leave the clown all by himself in the woods.

        1. Exactly.

    5. And–in an amazing coincidence, IT is getting remade.

  16. The drug manufacturer Mylan will offer a generic Epipen for half the price.

    var newProduct = new epiPen();

    1. STUPID HTML TAGS RUINED MY JOKE

      1. It was going to be less-than symbol T greater-than symbol and everyone would have laughed and congratulated me.

    2. So how does the manufacturer of the name brand produce a generic? What’s the difference besides packaging? And in this case PR?

  17. Judges Give ‘Defacto Amnesty’ To 1/3 Of Illegals Charged With Crimes

    America’s immigration court judges allow one in three illegal immigrants charged with serious crimes ? like rape and drunk driving ? roam free in the U.S.

    The judges released 32.9 percent of 5,530 illegal aliens charged with crimes since Oct. 1, 2015. That’s the highest percentage since at least 1998, according to Executive Office of Immigration Review data obtained under the Freedom of Information Act by Syracuse University’s Transactional Records Access Clearinghouse (TRAC).

    “They’re not giving them a legal status, but they’re letting them stay,” Jessica Vaughan, director of policy studies for the Center for Immigration Studies (CIS), told The Daily Caller News Foundation. “So it’s like a de facto amnesty.”

    If an immigration judge decides not to order a person’s deportation, the illegal immigrant may stay in the U.S. after serving any prison time determined in a criminal court.

  18. Byron York: Obamacare is failing. Why isn’t Donald Trump talking about it?

    These days, for a large part of the non-Medicaid population buying insurance on the individual market, Obamacare has become a very troubling presence. There could hardly be a better issue for a Republican presidential candidate to use against the Democrat seeking to succeed Barack Obama.

    Yet Donald Trump remains virtually silent on Obamacare. Look at Trump’s last 10 speeches ? the number since Trump began delivering prepared-text teleprompter remarks. All came during a period of bad news about Obamacare. But, according to the texts released by the campaign, one Trump speech didn’t mention Obamacare at all, while several others devoted just a few ? really, a few ? words to the subject.

    1. If Team Red wasn’t so goddamned stupid…

    2. Because he supports it?

      1. I’m thinking he has no clue how to fix it, or even talk about healthcare policy.

      2. He doesn’t support Obamacare, he wants single payer!!

        He’s so conservative, he makes Team Red look like Team Pink.

    3. The debates are going to be ‘UUUGE.

    4. The irony is that the statement about healthcare that he put out on his website has some damned good policy proposals. They’re good enough that the most substantive criticism the left could come up with about them was “There’s no way Congress would pass some of these!”

      The speculation that he’s trying to throw this thing aren’t completely out of bounds when he does stuff like this. His healthcare proposals alone should be enough to hammer Obama and Hillary with, but he won’t even bother pimping them like a good salesman should.

  19. Former Congressman Anthony Weiner is reportedly sexting again.
    More than 200 reindeer in Norway were killed by a bolt of lightning.

    God’s aim is worse than I thought.

    1. God hates sexting?

      1. No, but he does have an eternal love for those of us who are subject to seeing unending headlines about Anthony Weiner.

  20. More than 200 reindeer in Norway were killed by a bolt of lightning.

    Idriss Elba strikes again.

  21. I know this is a very out of the blue topic, but I also know there are other 40k fans in the commentariat. I’ve seen references to ships/stations being towed, but can’t find any mention of how it’s done and wonder if anyone knows.

    1. No, no, no. You’re supposed to tow the lion.

    2. Tugboats. Well, Warhammer 40k space tugboats, but still. I haven’t found anything that describes the tugs in detail, but there are references to them in the description of other ships/space forts.

      1. The 40k wiki mentions them all the time, but you’re right…there’s no detail.

    3. In the 30k universe the World Eaters use massive chained harpoons to hook other ships during combat. I’d imagine if they needed to tow another ship they’d use some similar mechanism.

      1. On one hand, the World Eaters were crazy even before they went Khorny. On the other hand, this implies that the Imperium moves space stations around using massive tow chains through the warp… which is a pretty 40k kind of image come to think of it.

  22. Coal Country Is Wary of Hillary Clinton’s Pledge to Help

    Now Washington is gunning for the second pillar of the Appalachian economy, coal, and again a politician, Hillary Clinton, is promising to help ? with $30 billion over 10 years to revitalize coal country.

    As in the case of tobacco, the idea is not to save the old economy, but to create a new one by retraining miners, investing in infrastructure and technology, and luring new industries.

    Residents here are skeptical, and with good reason, some economists say. Much of the tobacco rescue came from a 1998 settlement between tobacco companies and more than 40 states, requiring the companies to pay more than $200 billion over 25 years to help the victims of tobacco ? both those afflicted by cancer and lung disease, and those hurt economically by the decline of the industry.

    In turn, lawmakers in Virginia created the Tobacco Region Revitalization Commission, which has spent nearly $1 billion.

    1. Something about “I’m from the government and I’m here to help?”

    2. retraining miners, investing in infrastructure and technology, and luring new industries

      All things that government is really great at!

    3. Retraining miners to do what?

      1. Retraining miners to do what?

        To get addicted to the dole and vote for big government every single time.

      2. File forms for government assistance checks.

      3. Move someplace where there are jobs?

        1. Careful. Expecting poor white people to move away from places where there are no jobs is tantamount to genocide, if you ask John.

    4. After she promised to shut down the mines and put them all out of work I cant imagine why they would be skeptical of her.

      1. Never underestimate the power of free shit

    1. I’m going to add “discrimination” to my list of words that no longer have any meaning.

      1. You know who else had a list?

        1. Barack Obama?

        2. Nixon?

        3. Schindler?

        4. Truman Capote?

          oops, sorry, you said “list”

        5. Titanic?

        6. Buzzfeed?

          Oh, sorry, that was a slideshow. My bad.

      2. Yeah, pretty much. “Discrimination” simply means the recognition or understanding of differences between one thing/idea and another. All decision-making requires “discrimination” of some form. We as a society have simply determined that some forms of discrimination, such as on the basis of race, are bad. Discrimination on the basis of whether one is legally permitted to work in the U.S. seems like an acceptable form of discrimination. But, of course, I don’t work for the Justice Department, so what do I know?

    2. So is it against the law to keep them on past their expiration date? If not, why have the expiration date? I mean, after their employment authorization expires they aren’t authorized anymore, right?

      1. Hey, it’s OK for *visas*, isn’t it?

      2. The work auth expiration is supposed to be enforced by the federal govt, not by the employer. The DOJ is correct about employment discrimination on the basis of national origin being illegal.

        1. But it wouldn’t be based on national origin. It would be based on legal immigration and employment status. It’s the government that’s discriminating based on national origin.

        2. The work auth expiration is supposed to be enforced by the federal govt, not by the employer.

          You should tell USCIS that they have their facts wrong, because according to them, it is:

          Civil Violation: Hiring or continuing to employ a person, or recruiting or referring for a fee, knowing that the person is not authorized to work in the United States

          Minimum Penalty: $375 for each worker (first offense), $3,200 for each worker (second offense), $4,300 for each worker (third offense)
          Maximum Penalty: $3,200 for each worker (first offense), $6,500 for each worker (second offense), $16,000 for each worker (third offense)

          Criminal Violation: Engaging in a pattern or practice of hiring, recruiting or referring for a fee unauthorized aliens

          Penalty: Up to $3,000 for each unauthorized alien, Up to 6 months in prison for the entire pattern or practice

          It is illegal to “discriminate against” a prospective or current employee on the basis of national origin or immigration status, which means you cannot favor e.g. Americans over Ecuadorians or citizens over green-card holders, but that does not mean you are allowed to employ someone who is not authorized to work in the United States. The day before your work authorization expires is the last day anyone can legally hire you. If they continue to do so, they open themselves up to penalties.

        3. The work auth expiration is supposed to be enforced by the federal govt, not by the employer.

          You should tell USCIS that they have their facts wrong, because according to them, it is:

          Civil Violation: Hiring or continuing to employ a person, or recruiting or referring for a fee, knowing that the person is not authorized to work in the United States

          Minimum Penalty: $375 for each worker (first offense), $3,200 for each worker (second offense), $4,300 for each worker (third offense)
          Maximum Penalty: $3,200 for each worker (first offense), $6,500 for each worker (second offense), $16,000 for each worker (third offense)

          Criminal Violation: Engaging in a pattern or practice of hiring, recruiting or referring for a fee unauthorized aliens

          Penalty: Up to $3,000 for each unauthorized alien, Up to 6 months in prison for the entire pattern or practice

          It is illegal to “discriminate against” a prospective or current employee on the basis of national origin or immigration status, which means you cannot favor e.g. Americans over Ecuadorians or citizens over green-card holders, but that does not mean you are allowed to employ someone who is not authorized to work in the United States. The day before your work authorization expires is the last day anyone can legally hire you. If they continue to do so, they open themselves up to penalties.

          1. Fucking squirrels.

    3. DOJ. The department that allegedly oversees the Rule of Law, encouraging violation of the law.

      That’s the Obama admin in a nutshell.

      FEELZ over laws.

    4. JThe Justice Department released a video this week encouraging companies not to terminate immigrants after their employment authorization expires, and indicated that doing so is a form of discrimination.

      It’s not ‘discrimination’ when DHS requires employers to terminate employment of any immigrant whose permit expires without the possibility of renewal. I wonder if the DOJ is willing to go down the road of having its policies challenged by another department of the federal government after employers use the video to give them a big, sloppy ‘fuck you’.

    5. Obviously a reasonable prosecutor would find that to be worth prosecuting

    6. Isn’t it a basic part of HRs job to discriminate between those who they can legally employ and those they cannot?

    7. Holy shit. Its now illegal to fire an illegal?

      1. It’s illegality all the way down.

    8. So… they’re demanding that companies break the law?

  23. Am I the only person impressed by the fact that the LAX “shooter” was a guy in a Zorro costume with a plastic sword?

    1. Latest news that I saw on that was that the dude was returning from an audition. He was just sitting there, minding his own business while waiting for a ride, when the cops converged on him with guns drawn. He’s lucky to be alive. Being black with a plastic sword and all. Cops routinely kill people for less.

      I haven’t seen any word on charges or anything like that.

      1. Oh, I’m sure they’ll find something to charge him with. It’ll be dismissed in 6 months, but his life will have been ripped to shreds in the meantime.

        1. Or he’ll land the part for the publicity of it.

        2. They’ll look pretty foolish if they don’t charge him!

      2. In the picture accompanying this article, he’s pointing the sword at the officers. I’m sure it was a misunderstanding and he was just playing around, but have some common sense dude.

  24. for those few who want to see more Weiner.

    Also the classy pic of his sleeping son next to him.

    1. that’s just sick as hell…couldn’t just put the kid in his own room first?

    2. Many people simply can’t get their fill of Weiner.

    3. “I am always, uh, raging after the gym,” he wrote in one of several apparent references to his genitalia.

      “I’ll need a bigger hole,” Weiner responded, adding a smiling emoji with its tongue sticking out.

      What a silver-tongued, charming seducer he is.

      Weird how Huma and Hillary both married pathetic self-control-lacking, fuck-anything horndogs.

      1. Weird how Huma and Hillary both married pathetic self-control-lacking, fuck-anything horndogs.

        Not really. That’s really male Democratic politicans’ M.O. Despite all their talk about women’s rights and eqality and all that, they generally use their positions of power to prey on interns and generally behave as slezy fucks.

        1. Wow, that’s a lot of typos. Sorry, typing with one hand.

          1. go on…

        2. +1 sex crazed poodle

          1. FWIW, I answered you in the Douglass thread at 10 pm last night.

    4. gross.

  25. Chutzpah queen and her huddled darling forces of miscreant officious evil hammer the fucking bumbling apricotish don of twaddle yapping over mythical KKK shit and only the most goddamn jewels of high-order asininity would pause to applaud the crepey cunt for what can only be fucking considered a nuclear assault on all the mirrors lining that bitch’s life of noxious connections.

    1. Nice.

      It strangely makes sense to me.

      1. Now I think I know…

    2. Preach brother.

  26. I put my dog to sleep Friday afternoon.

    Cancer is such a shit disease.

    The whole thing took 35 minutes from walking in the door to walking out. Poor guy took the first shot like man. It took about 15 minutes for him to finally fall asleep so that they could give him the lethal shot.

    1. Tears are a misty language…

      1. +1

    2. Condolences, amigo.

      A little Kipling:

      Buy a pup and your money will buy
      Love unflinching that cannot lie–
      Perfect passion and worship fed
      By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
      Nevertheless it is hardly fair
      To risk your heart for a dog to tear.

      When the fourteen years that nature permits
      Are closing in asthma or tumors or fits
      And the vet’s unspoken prescription runs
      To lethal chambers, or loaded guns.
      Then you will find–its your own affair
      But–you’ve given your heart to a dog to tear.

      1. Our puppy chewed a hole in the wall.

    3. Sorry dude. My pug is on the way out. Will be in your shoes soon enough.

      1. Same here. My little mutt is nearing the end. Her arthritis is getting bad enough that the painkillers don’t seem to help much anymore, and she doesn’t do much besides laying on the couch anymore.

        1. It’s a rough decision. You don’t want to do it too late so the poor guy suffers unnecessarily. Nor do you want to do it too early, while the poor guy still has good days ahead.

          In our case, it was rough, because up to three days before, he had been doing so well. He did a mile at a decent speed. He had a huge temper tantrum because we weren’t paying attention to him complete with throwing a tiny cardboard box 3 feet. He was full of energy and engaged with his surroundings.

          Then the next day it was as if he’d gone off a cliff. He no longer acknowledged us, let alone seeking interactions with us. Wouldnt’ touch his food. All he did was sleep, drink and demand to be let out to go to the bathroom. And we suspected he had lost his sight in one eye, possibly both. He kept walking into things. I had to rescue him after he got tangled among a set of chair legs.

          No food meant he wasn’t getting his meds including his pain meds. So he was in agony.

          At first we were in denial. We thought he was just having a bad day. We didn’t want to be too hasty. And then we finally accepted that this was it. He clearly was in pain every waking moment, and his only relief was when he slept.

          It was time.

          1. Sounds like our last cat that died. She was in great shape and then started acting odd. Stopped eating and drinking, shriveled up, and was dead in about a week. Sucks. She was a feral rescue and an awesome mouser.

          2. Ours went oddly fast, too. She was having slight digestive issues for about 2 weeks prior, but nothing (we thought) out of the ordinary – mostly initial refusal to eat her first round of food in the morning.

            But one Friday, she started getting wobbly and couldn’t keep anything down. By Saturday morning she was super-lethargic and we took her to the vet and the blood tests showed basically the onset of multiple organ failure – and the digestive problems were sneakier than we thought, as she had lost close to 10 pounds without us picking up on it.

            We had her treated with fluids there and she had generally rebounded by the time we had got there, but it was just adrenaline, probably. She almost rebounded Sunday, but by that night, she was in pain from not being able to keep her pills down and was barely moving. We took her that Monday to put her to sleep, but she went in on her feet, dammit!

            We had steeled ourselves a few times (as I described below, she had all sorts of problems), but nothing really prepares you for it. Thankfully, it did come on as quickly as it did. Even with her digestive issues leading up to that last weekend, she was perky and playful up to that Friday.

        2. The pug is at a point where she needs to go out to pee every four hours or so. So I can’t get a full night of sleep without being woken by a whining dog at least once. Sometimes twice.

    4. That is horrible. My condolences.

    5. Sorry.

      Agile comes in with the perfect words.

    6. Sorry man.

      My eyes are welling up.

    7. My condolences. It’s very hard but you loved him very much.

    8. Thanks guys.

      I’ll share the poem with my wife. She’s pretty gutted.

    9. My condolences tarran.

      That is pretty rough.

    10. Sorry to hear that. *Howl*

    11. Damn, sorry to hear that tarran. I’m another one who’s getting close to that point, and I’m trying to mentally prepare for it.

    12. That’s rough, t.

      I had to put down one of my dogs last year. I still catch myself thinking I’ve seen her out of the corner of my eye.

    13. Sorry to hear that. My last pit got cancer too. The vet says it is prevalent in pit breeds. I stayed there with her when it happened and am tearing up now thinking about it.

      1. Yeah, I’ve lost three pits to cancer.

        The big dumb one now has valley fever, which is apparently quite treatable. Its seems to involve grinding $20 bills into a fine powder to sprinkle on his food. Which we’ve been doing for almost six months. Hopefully, his next blood test will show improvement.

    14. Sorry to hear that but glad you were there with him, and I’m sure he was too.

    15. Sorry, man…

      Went through this in February with our rescue. We only had her a bit less than 4 years, and she had all sorts of problems (was rescued as a heartworm survivor, soon showed signs of arthritis, had persistently low blood sugar – but not diabetic, somehow), but was a fantastic dog. Who knows what shit she had been through before we got her, but we like to think we made her last few years at least tolerable. She almost certainly wouldn’t have made it without the rescue organization and us to nurse her back to a semblance of normal dog life.

    16. Sorry to hear it.

  27. Racsiiiist!

    Latinos Rally for Trump in ‘Operation Taco Bowl’

    tw: Breitbart

    “The Democrats think they can own and acquire Hispanics’ loyalty for generations to come,” Jorge Herrera, 31, said into a microphone at a podium in front of Anaheim City Hall, where dozens of Trump supporters had gathered for the rally. “Who do they think they are? They will never own my loyalty. They will never own Hispanics’ loyalty.”

    When asked how he feels about the Democratic Party claiming the Hispanic vote, Herrera told Breitbart News, “It’s just pandering. They don’t care about us. We can see middle class income down, Hispanic wealth is down, African-American wealth is down. You look at the top Democrat cities, they’re all down. It’s all about talk, no action. The statistics prove they have done nothing for everybody.”

    1. So problematic, i literally can’t even.

    2. “It’s just pandering. They don’t care about us. We can see middle class income down, Hispanic wealth is down, African-American wealth is down. You look at the top Democrat cities, they’re all down. It’s all about talk, no action. The statistics prove they have done nothing for everybody.”

      Facts are racist. This is why you will never see this on CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, etc. etc.

  28. Is Earth being contacted by ALIENS? Mystery radio signals coming from a sun-like star baffle scientists

    A spike in radio signals coming from the direction of a sun-like star has excited astronomers.

    The signals seem to be originating from a sun-like star known as HD 164595 in the constellation Hercules, around 95 light years away.

    Scientists suggest they are likely to be the result of a natural phenomenon, such as ‘microlensing’, in which the star’s gravity strengthens and focus signals from elsewhere.

    But astronomers have also asked Seti (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence) to take a closer look at whether they could be a message from ET.

    1. a message from ET

      “GET OUT!”

      1. The message says: More Ally McBeal!

        1. Single Female Lawyer! ?
          Fighting for her client!
          Wearing sexy miniskirts
          and being self reliant!

          Single Female Lawyer! ?
          Having lots of sex!

  29. Why Is ‘McChicken’ Trending on Twitter? You Don’t Actually Want to Know

    When I saw “McChicken” on the Twitter trending list, I assumed it was some manner of promotional thing. Perhaps a VMA tie-in. Or one of those videos of pink sludge went viral again. Or maybe someone found, like, a cat in their sandwich, I don’t know.
    So I clicked. Because working on the internet for years has taught me goddamn nothing.

    1. Oh, but I never eat the McChicken. I eat the Hot ‘n’ Spicy McChicken!

  30. ‘SNL’ Star Calls Ann Coulter a ‘Racist Cunt’

    On Saturday night, conservative columnist and diehard Donald Trump booster Ann Coulter attended a Comedy Central roast, and things went about as well as you might expect. Coulter was there as one of the assigned roasters for Rob Lowe, joining a gallery of comedians and Hollywood celebrities ready to poke fun at the 52-year-old actor. However, the event’s meanest, most brutal one-liners were directed not at the subject, but at fellow roaster Coulter.

    1. But c*** is supposed to be a sexist word?

      This is like -1 * -1

      Or maybe the imaginary number i * i = -1

      1. Cunt is sexist when applied to a Democrat. Let some D list celebrity call Hillary a Cunt and see what the folks at SNL who are hurling the word at Coulter think about it.

        1. When you think of it, these comedians have no balls. It’s easy to target Coulter because she can’t really do much. Call Hillary out for the cunt she is, and then maybe I’ll be impressed.

    2. I was reading about this, Coulter stated she had never watched a Comedy Central roast, but nonetheless she was still going to use it as a chance to plug her book.

      I am not sure whether to respect her or shake my head.

      1. What is to shake your head about? I have never watched one either. I suspect most people haven’t.

        1. You and most people aren’t appearing on the show. She could have googled. Or, she could act surprised.

        2. I assume you have at least some vague idea of what happens at these events. Was she really expecting that they wouldn’t start torching her?

      2. She loves the attention. She is shameless.

        1. I wouldn’t be surprised if she did this just as a troll against the roasters. You know a bunch of them were probably triggered as fuck when they found out she was part of the panel.

      3. The interesting thing is, according to the article, it was a Rob Lowe roast and yet it seemed to have been directed at her. Even Lowe got in on it.

        Having watched my share of Dean Martin roasts, I know they sometimes turn on each other, but it feels like this had more of a ‘I really hate this cunt’ undertone. I highly doubt they’d give Rachel Maddow the same treatment – mind you, Coulter is pretty outrageous in her comments leaving her open to such attacks.

        Still.

        I could be wrong.

        1. At the Comedy Central roasts, they normally have words for all the roasters/speakers before getting to the main person. Nothing unusual about that. And I’m sure they were extra vitriolic toward Coulter, but these things are known for being shockingly harsh with their words. I doubt it was the first time “cunt” was used.

          There was a roast of Trump about 5 years ago. He mentioned “possibly running for president some day” in his remarks.

          1. Yeh, I’m thinking that too despite my comment.

        2. Coulter is no friend to my imagination but her steely disregard of the vile mecca is fucking intoxicating.

    3. “I’m not the only athlete up here. As you know earlier this year, Ann Coulter won the Kentucky Derby.” ? Peyton Manning

      Jesus. Maybe he thought he had a free play with the Kaepernick controversy?

      I didn’t see the “cunt” remark at the link… there was a very nasty “kill yourself, bitch” line by Jimmy Carr.

      1. Par for the course with the left. They love that line. And retort when criticized, ‘But it was just a joke’ yet I can’t help but wonder if deep down they reserve a tiny corner of belief.

        How many people said Palin should ‘kill herself’? I know Montel did it.

    4. Was Norm MacDonald not there to class up the proceedings?

    5. They asked Anne Coulter to roast someone?

      Damn. That’s yuuuuge.

  31. More than 200 reindeer in Norway were killed by a bolt of lightning.

    Final tally is 323. Do reindeer make okay venison?

    1. On a trip to Alaska once I had reindeer sausage. It wasn’t bad.

        1. Masturbating in the snow = having the ol’ reindeer sausage?

      1. Huh. I didn’t know we had any in the lower 48.

        1. There’s a map in the linked wikipedia article that shows the range of caribou in N America.

          As I said the caribou originally lived from the area that became the northern tier of states and north. IIANM the decline in southern herds started long before Europeans arrived (so much for the harmony-with-nature Indian myth).

          1. “the current range”

  32. “Former Congressman Anthony Weiner is reportedly sexting again”

    Huma’s incorrigible husband. Right up there with Hillary’s incorrigible husband.

    Too much money, too much power, too little accountability. I am reminded of the debaucheries and lack of propriety of the european aristocracy. That is what we have come to, granted titles or not.

  33. Cyber threat grows for bitcoin exchanges

    When hackers penetrated a secure authentication system at a bitcoin exchange called Bitfinex earlier this month, they stole about $70 million worth of the virtual currency.

    The cyber theft — the second largest by an exchange since hackers took roughly $350 million in bitcoins at Tokyo’s MtGox exchange in early 2014 — is hardly a rare occurrence in the emerging world of crypto-currencies.

    New data disclosed to Reuters shows a third of bitcoin trading platforms have been hacked, and nearly half have closed in the half dozen years since they burst on the scene.

    1. Is this a problem with bitcoin the platform or bitcoin wallets? What exactly is being stolen here?

      1. This is helpful. Also a helpful reminder that I am an ignoramus.

  34. Turkish forces are pushing further into Syria as the U.S. criticizes the choice of targets.

    “My targets are better than your targets!”

    More than 200 reindeer in Norway were killed by a bolt of lightning.

    Thor was having a fun day.

    The drug manufacturer Mylan will offer a generic Epipen for half the price.

    Or two for the price of one! Don’t miss this incredible deal! And if you call right now, we will even send you this beautiful carrying case for only the cost of shipping and handling!

  35. Far-right candidate ahead in polls to win Austrian presidency

    The far right is ahead in Austria’s presidential race, according to opinion polls which predict a win for the anti-immigration candidate that would be a watershed for populists across Europe who have capitalized on the migration crisis.

    1. Is a far-right candidate someone who has never been wrong up-to-date?

    2. It’s weird how far-left candidates don’t seem to exist.

  36. Intense absorption with aspects of common existence can be justified as necessity but serial hyper-focusing without limitation leads to the disintegration of time as a mystical vehicle for pleasure.

  37. Polish soccer fans torch ‘Jewish’ effigies, fly banner calling for burning of Jews

    According to a weekend report by the Coordination Forum for Countering Antisemitism, the demonstrators at the rally unfurled a banner printed with the slogan “19.08, today the Jews were named,” in reference to the year ?KS ??d? was established.

    “Let them burn, motherf***ers,” continued the banner’s illicit message.

    The report noted that images taken at the event showed the ruffians igniting strung-up effigies donned in attire apparently representative of Orthodox Jews.

    Debates over Poland’s attitude toward anti-Semitism have previously erupted over the contentious practices of some of the country’s soccer fans.

    However, in 2014, a Polish municipal prosecutor in Pozna? ruled that chants by soccer fans are not deemed criminal offenses.

    you know who else…

      1. I’m pretty sure that before the rise of Hitler, most people would have thought a thing like the holocaust would be unlikely in Germany. OTOH, They would have thought it possible in Poland or Russia. Both countries have histories of antisemitism much worse than Germany’s.

        1. Before WWI, France would have seemed a more likely culprit as well.

    1. Europe: Sophisticated because they eat cantaloupe with their bread while wearing GEOX shoes.

    2. Another country whose anthem Kapernick won’t stand for.

    3. I could understand this if Jews were any good at soccer …

  38. Dave Chappelle’s Rare NYC Gig? “Black Lives Matter is the Worst Slogan I’ve Ever Heard”

    He began the hour by saying, quite jovially: “This will be a racist show. I’m telling you now.” His jokes about blacks and white were evenly divided. But the subjects of the day were right up there. “Black lives matter is a terrible slogan,” he said. He much prefers Dwayne Wade’s hashtag “enough is enough.”

    As for the killing of Wade’s cousin, and Donald Trump’s immediate vulgarizing of it, Chappelle said: “Oh yeah, now I’m voting for Donald Trump.” That drew peals of laughter from the mixed race crowd. But I couldn’t help wonder what black comics and their audiences are saying around the country in similar clubs. Trump’s message?”What do you have to lose?”?is now a set up for various punchlines.

    Chappelle talked about wanting to vote for Hillary Clinton. But it also turns out that he and his wife are friendly with outspoken conservative black actress Stacey Dash. That gives the argument balance, although he conceded that he and “Stacey are not soulmates.” He also touched on the very recent stabbing at Cornell. Is it too soon? “Who stabs anymore?” he added: “Very OJ.”

    1. Chappelle’s Show – One of the greatest comedy shows or the greatest comedy show of all time?

      1. It was right up there with the Carol Burnett Show as the greatest sketch comedy show ever, just because Chappelle wasn’t afraid to put the mirror on his own race while criticizing racial prejudices in general.

        The “We’d Consider R. Kelly Guilty” bit is one of the most honest explanations of black attitudes towards the justice system I’ve ever seen.

        1. “That’s my Robert, always peein’ on people.”

      2. Just the Clayton Bixby thing all by itself was so badass. Was that very PC? Very un-PC? Probably neither, but I’m still not 100% sure.

  39. Students add trigger warnings to posts on Pokemon GO, U.S. Constitution, ‘white men’

    Here are some of the topics I’ve recently seen trigger warnings on.

    Pokemon GO
    Huh? Pokemon GO is problematic? Yes, of course it is. Everything is problematic. But why? Well, some people believe Pokemon GO is a racist and classist game. Not only that, but people have alleged that it’s ableist, too. So much for “it’s just a game.” (Pictured, screenshot of actual trigger warning)

    U.S. Constitution
    I did a double take when I saw “tw: constitution” placed on a post rejoicing the death of Justice Antonin Scalia. The logic is simple: the U.S. is, according to some students and professors, a tyrannical and colonialistic empire founded via the genocide of Native Americans and the enslavement of Africans. For students, particularly those of color, the Constitution needs a trigger warning because it could prompt thoughts of oppression, persecution, genocide, and other social ills.

    ‘White men’
    Contemporary feminism deems men as oppressors and threats. And in the hierarchy of oppressors, white men sit atop the food chain. So not only do I come across trigger warnings on posts about men ? what they’ve said or done ? but I also saw this one: “TW: white men” ? used on an article on fraternity brothers behaving badly.

    1. Actually that’s a great idea for an app. When you turn the camera on, it covers up anything that needs a trigger warning in the camera view. That way the entire world can be safe-spaced.

      1. The SJW mascot should be those two See No Evil, Hear No Evil monkeys. No, there is no third monkey.

      2. You can replicate the app functionality with a small square of electrical tape.

      3. How about something like Joo Janta Peril Sensitive Sunglasses?

    2. Police

      Need I say more? I live in New York City; whenever the police are spotted on campus, my timeline erupts in trigger warnings. Statuses such as “Trigger warning: Just seen on Broadway Ave and 116th Street, NYPD vans. Stay inside!” are common. Police are associated with police brutality, racism, and the historical legacy of black oppression in America.

      I actually kind of agree with that one.

      (TW: Police could also work for the band. Did they ever have a song that wasn’t incredibly creepy?)

      1. What’s creepy about “Every Breath You Take”?

        *dials ex, breathes heavily into receiver*

    3. “the U.S. is, according to some students and professors, a tyrannical and colonialistic empire founded via the genocide of Native Americans and the enslavement of Africans.”

      I can admit there is veracity to this statement, but the funny part is that all of the other countries kind of started out the same way. We were never uniquely awful.

  40. Former Congressman Anthony Weiner is reportedly sexting again.

    Damn, it just suddenly dawned on me that there’s a decent chance that in a few more months, Huma Weiner Abedin will be one of the most powerful people in the world, which means that this creepy pervert will have a direct connection to one of the most powerful people in the world.

    * Shudder *

    1. Weiner’s proclivities shrink when compared to the juggernaut of perdition he’s yoked to.

      1. Are you talking about Hillary’s cankles? Juggernaut of perdition, I like that. Or juggernaut of perjury?

      2. Weiner’s proclivities shrink

        “I WAS IN THE POOL! I WAS IN THE POOL!”

    2. Maybe Bill Clinton will finally let him come along on a trip to Whore Island.

    3. this creepy pervert will have a direct connection to one of the most powerful people in the world

      But enough about Bill.

    4. I have to think Huma doesn’t need him and will ultimately divorce him.

  41. FBI says foreign hackers penetrated state election systems

    Concerns prompted Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson to convene a conference call with state election officials on Aug. 15, in which he offered his department’s help to make state voting systems more secure, including providing federal cyber security experts to scan for vulnerabilities, according to a “readout” of the call released by the department.

    1. You know who else talked about penetration?

      1. Dr. Ruth?

      2. Monica Sweetheart?

      3. STEVE SMITH?

    2. Just what the hell kind of name is “Jeh”, anyway?

      1. Just what the hell kind of name is “Jeh”, anyway?

        You would know if you were “geh”.

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  43. Manitoba man robs liquor store in goalie uniform.

    The weird part of all of this is that the suspect is wearing number 17 in the video ? clearly not a number designated for a goaltender. However, he committed the robbery with a goalie stick in his hand, suggesting that he has to be a goalie (or at least that he can wield a goalie stick effectively).

    Yep, that is the weird part.

  44. In which the villainous Kevin Williamson defends the president’s frequent golf outings.

    There are some obvious and practical reasons not to discourage President Obama’s sporting pursuits. The most obvious of them is that every hour Barack Obama spends on the links is an hour he is not wrecking the republic, distorting its character, throwing monkey wrenches into its constitutional machinery, or appointing sundry miscreants and malefactors to its high offices. If golf is the only prophylactic we have against him, then Scotland’s second-greatest contribution to modern civilization is to be celebrated for doing work that the Supreme Court and Congress can’t quite manage.

    But there is more than the consequentialist case for Obama’s golf.

    1. throwing monkey wrenches

      RACIST

      1. It’s a dog whistle! A dog whistle only the left can hear.

        1. If you can hear a dog whistle, you’re a dog.

  45. Can anyone tell me what exactly is being alleged by Donald Trump regarding the Clinton Foundation? She met with donors to promote the aims of the Clinton Foundation, which promotes the empowerment of females and the eradication of disease. Wouldn’t that just imply that she was a good foundation director?

    If we start to impose laws on politicians designed to curtail the influence peddling of rich people, politicians would just resort to back room deals with their well-connected friends. Or so I’m told. I’m really confused– shouldn’t libertarians be on the side of rich people trying to promote their businesses? It’s their money, asshole commie.

    1. american socialist|8.29.16 @ 11:20AM|#
      “Can anyone tell me what exactly is being alleged by Donald Trump regarding the Clinton Foundation?”

      Oh, look! Commie kid feigns ignorance!
      Yeah, shitstain, she is running an political access auction disguised as a charity. Got it?
      Here, read all about it:
      “WASHINGTON (AP) ? More than half the people outside the government who met with Hillary Clinton while she was secretary of state gave money ? either personally or through companies or groups ? to the Clinton Foundation. It’s an extraordinary proportion indicating her possible ethics challenges if elected president.”
      (link too long)
      Note the source is part of that vast, right-wind conspiracy, Associated Press.
      Oh, and fuck off.

    2. which promotes the empowerment of females and the eradication of disease.

      So the foundation pays for Bill’s condoms? I guess it does more good than I thought. Also, I didn’t know that Hillary had a twin.

    3. She met with donors to promote the aims of the Clinton Foundation,

      She did? Do we have any corroboration of this claim?

      which promotes the empowerment of females and the eradication of disease

      If “females” = Hillary and misc. female Clinton cronies, sure.

      Its remarkable, when you think about it, that the foundation has raised over half a billion dollars, but apparently has done nothing with that money worth bragging about. Because just what exactly has it accomplished? Nobody knows, which in the world of charitable foundations, means it has accomplished nothing.

      1. “Because just what exactly has it accomplished?”
        Ya know, RC, they just get together over coffee and gossip like a bunch of old hens, they do!
        Oh, and someone always talks about how ‘powerful’ they are now.
        See?

          1. My favorite part…

            “. In 1997 she cochaired a global Microcredit Summit in Washington, D.C., replete with the usual Third World delegations. Hillary’s own remarks on that occasion were unremarkable, but those of the president of the Citi?corp Foundation were well worth remembering. Here is what he said to the assembled saviors of the Third World: “Everyone in this room is a banker, because everyone here is banking on self-employment to help alleviate poverty around the world.” At the closing session of the summit, bankers joined national leaders in singing “We Shall Overcome.”

            Oh boy.

          2. “…but corrupt? No.”
            That’s because you’re a lefty thug apologist for that miserable lying hag.
            Fuck off.

          3. Sorry, but the foundation doesn’t pass even the most elementary screen for conflict of interest and thus corruption.

            Hillary was in a position of authority.

            Members of Hillary’s family and various other people on her staff or associated with her were getting benefits from the Foundation. These benefits are traditionally attributed to the person in the position of authority.

            People with business before the person in authority gave money that is attributed to the person in authority. Textbook conflict of interest. The person in authority did not recuse herself from making decisions about that business. Textbook violation of basic conflicts of interest doctrine. Those decisions benefitted the people who gave money attributed to her. Textbook corruption.

            1. But Hillary knows rules don’t apply to her. And they don’t. So it’s OK.

    4. Peddling one thing for cash is not the same as peddling influence for cash, is it?

      She met with donors Johns to promote the aims of the Clinton Foundation brothel, which promotes the empowerment of females and the eradication of disease. Wouldn’t that just imply that she was a good foundation director Madame?

    5. Remember folks, corporations are evil because they exploit people and make profits.

      Clinton isn’t evil even though she exploits people and makes profits, because … reasons.

      1. I’ve never said corporations are evil– just that some are better than others and that we shouldn’t rely on their assurances about labor and environmental practices in lieu of laws regulating how they can treat the people working for them and what chemicals they put into the sewer.

        Couldn’t your double-standard be applied to right-wingers? They seem relatively unconcerned about exploitation and the profits of big corporations when it comes down to things like minimum wage laws, but if HRC meets with a Saudi businessman that concern about corruption and exploitation reappears. Geesch, if only they had this concern during the housing crisis…

        1. “They seem relatively unconcerned about exploitation and the profits of big corporations when it comes down to things like minimum wage laws,”

          Profits are none of anyone’s business but the company owners and the customers, and opposing M/W is a moral stand, improving prosperity for the lowest end of the workers.
          But lefty thugs like you are immune to those facts, so fuck off, slaver.

        2. The difference between the corporation and the politician for me is that the former delivers a product or a service whereas the latter delivers theft and violence.

          The problem with Clinton selling influence is because she doesn’t make a fucking thing of value. She is a worthless piece of shit who rode her husband’s coattails while telling all of his victims to keep quiet. Every single penny she has ever made has been taken off someone else’s blood and sweat.

          Compared to that, what did a fucking mortgage company do?

        3. Moreover, it is such bullshit to lay the blame of the “housing crisis” at the feet of “right-wingers”. You know what right-wingers wanted? For the banks to fucking die.

          It was left-wingers like your hero Obama, your would-be savior Clinton, and no small number of Democratic Party legislators like Barney Frank, who enabled, propped up, and then swooped in to save the banks.

          Why don’t you ask your own politicians why they wipe your ass with your votes?

          1. Why don’t you ask your own politicians why they wipe your ass with your votes?

            Ahem, why they wipe their own asses with your votes…

  46. Yeah, and they always say you’re more likely to get struck and killed by a bolt of lightening.

    OH YEAH? LOOK AT THAT SHIT! RUN FOR YIUR LIVEZ!

    1. I wanna know how they figure a single strike.

      1. Gaia is upping her game, be afraid.

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