Donald Trump

Let's Use Trump's Own Words to Figure Out What His Gay-Rights and Gender-Equality Test for Immigrants Might Look Like

Take the Trump-American-Values Immigration Quiz!

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Monica Jorge/Sipa USA/Newscom

On Monday, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump is expected to deliver a speech endorsing the idea of a values test for potential American immigrants. Walking back his call for a blanket ban on Muslim immigration, Trump called earlier this summer for suspending U.S. immigration from certain geographic regions known for terrorism. His latest proposal, according to the Associated Press, will float the idea of an ideological admissions test for would-be immigrants, covering areas such as gay rights, gender equality, and religious freedom. "Through questionnaires, searching social media, interviewing friends and family or other means, applicants would be vetted to see whether they support American values like tolerance and pluralism," AP reports.

How serious is Trump about this latest attention-grabbing policy idea? While he hits the same motifs over and over, many specific Trump proposals have proven more bluster (and news-cycle savvy) than polished policy plans or deep-seated conviction. Regardless, it's a rhetorical step forward, of sorts, for the Republican Party to lump LGBT and gender equality in with established conservative principles like religious freedom. But as with Trump's previous nods toward the "wonderful Americans" of the LGBT community, his embrace of "tolerance" here is employed in service of exclusion and exceptionalism.

Still, just for kicks, let's look at what a Donald Trump-endorsed test on gay rights and gender equality might look like. I've put together a 10-point quiz based on statements Trump has made about both, with the Trump-approved answers underneath.

Trump American-Values Immigration Quiz

  1. Do you think gays should be thrown off tall buildings?
  2. Do you think same-sex couples should be allowed to marry?
  3. Should transgender people be forced to use the bathroom that matches their biological sex?
  4. Should women be enslaved?
  5. Should women who have abortions be punished?
  6. Should pornography be legal and women who pose nude be celebrated?
  7. Should presidents have sexual relations with their interns?
  8. Should women be able to assume combat roles in the military?
  9. Should men in the military be expected not to rape their female colleagues?
  10. Should people be encouraged to seek romantic partners young enough to be their own offspring?

CORRECT ANSWERS:

  1. No, Donald Trump does not think gays should be thrown off tall buildings, although he has suggested repeatedly that Hillary Clinton might. In June, Trump told Fox News that Clinton takes money from countries that "actually throws gays off buildings." Countries run by radical Islamic terrorists have "bought her off," Trump continued. "I'm much better for women than she is. I'm much better for gays than she is."
  2. No, Trump told Meet the Press last August that while he thinks "it's great" that his hometown, New York City, is filled with gays, he is "not in favor of gay marriage."
  3. Trick question—the answer is "state's rights." In April, Trump said transgender men and women should "use the bathroom they feel is appropriate," but later qualified this by saying it should be left up to individual states.
  4. No, Trump does not endorse enslaving women.
  5. Maybe. Trump initially said yes, but later suggested that any punishment for abortion should accrue to the doctor who performs it, not the woman having the abortion.
  6. Yes, Trump endorses pornography, having posed on a Playboy cover himself in 1991 and, more recently, having his campaign defend Melania Trump's past as a nude pinup model by describing the photos "a celebration of the human body as art" and "nothing to be embarrassed about."
  7. Yes, but only if the interns are sophisticated and glamorous. Of Bill Clinton's affair with Monica Lewinsky, Trump objected not to the affair but to Clinton's choice in women, suggesting that "people would have been more forgiving if he'd had an affair with a really beautiful woman of sophistication."
  8. Maybe, but that doesn't meant Trump has to like it.
  9. Nope, impossible.

10. Yes, Trump has opined that dating women his daughter's age is not perversion but "talent."

Stay tuned next week for our Hillary Clinton-approved test on protecting gun rights, the importance of free speech, and successful strategies for building democracy in the Middle East!

NEXT: Palo Alto planning commissioner resigns and protests restrictive land-use policies

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  1. This piece is the closest thing to a Molotov cocktail in post form I can recall seeing at Reason. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were 200 comments by the time I finish typing this sentence.

    1. /quickly exits the thread, frantically locking and bolting the door behind him. Sticks hands in ears and sobs loudly to drown out the screams and hammering of the unlucky souls behind him.

  2. #9 – You are assuming that “unreported sexual assaults” (whatever they are) = Rape.

    I put that in the same league as 1/4 of all college girls are raped.

    1. That was the line that stood out to me too.

      26,000 unreported sexual assults in the military-only 238 convictions. What did these geniuses expect when they put men & women together?

      Eh, if there are 26,000 unreported sexual assaults, getting 238 convictions on those is pretty impressive. I mean, how do you get a conviction on an assault that goes unreported?

  3. Women in ground combat units is about the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.

    1. Kozmo.com’s business plan is the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.

      1. I’ll have my people call your people.

      2. “Kozmo.com’s business plan is the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.”

        Haven’t been reading Shrieks comments?

    2. Because it requires them to be outside of the kitchen?

    3. Drake is the stupidest person I’ve ever heard.

  4. Trump: inconsistent and dishonest. My God who could have known.

    Still, I’m happy he’s trolling the left for a change.

  5. ‘Pornography’ is baby-talk.

    It’s like using the words ‘blashemy’ and ‘sodomite’.

      1. Those words don’t apply to anything except in the feverish minds in a house of worship.

  6. That quiz is pure New York values! ENB’s hypothetical Trump just moved our southern border north by a few states!

  7. Even though I know better:

    10. Yes, Trump has opined that dating women his daughter’s age is not pervesion [sic] but “talent.”

    This comes off as a kind of scolding, as though everyone is supposed to date only the age appropriate.

    1. I’ve taken up Charles Murray’s book Coming Apart. One of the facets of the “New Upper Class” he describes is a tendency among women to have children in their late twenties/early thirties… and among men in their forties/fifties.

      Someone’s robbing cradles up there.

    2. I agree. The rest of the article was a model of restraint, comparatively, though, so I’m content to let it pass unmolested.

    3. It is awkward when a young lady quickly exits the date because the streetlights come on, but some people out up with it to spend time with a person before they hit their early 20s and become bitter hags.

      1. Paging OMWC, someone is on your turf, OMWC

    4. Just good old age discrimination. Often a proxy for women’s disgust at male shallowness, I suspect.

  8. If dating younger women is a talent, dating older women is an innate gift.

  9. This is a good Trump article.

    Wow.

    Well done, ENB. Take money from petty cash to buy yourself a much-deserved cronut.

    1. HoD just disqualified herself for the editing position.

      1. And she outed herself as pro-cronut.

        1. I have no idea what a cronut is, but it sounds awfully New York to me.

          1. Cronut – all the empty greasy calories of a donut with the smug pseudo-sophistication of a croissant. Just like New York!

  10. Sorry folks, but this sort of thing should embarrass yourselves more than it should Donald Trump. I don’t like the guy. I’m not voting for him. But, ascribing words to him that he didn’t say, in response to a marginal idea that he’s likely to float to imply responses that are, at worst, eye-rolling, really doesn’t cement your credibility as above partisan hackery.

    1. I don’t really think this article is meant to be taken seriously.

      1. Wasn’t “it was just a joke” how the Trump campaign explained its own missteps?

    2. ascribing words to him that he didn’t say

      Except those tweets and quotes pulled from speeches, anyway.

      1. I was referencing the “quiz”.

        1. Oddly enough it’s a fairly staid and sane questionnaire.

        2. So wait, are you saying that people criticizing Trump should be limited to using only the words he has said? Because that would constrict people to like two syllables max.

          1. That’s one more than I need. BAD!

          2. “So wait, are you saying that people criticizing Trump should be limited to using only the words he has said?”

            Let’s Use Trump’s Own Words to Figure Out What His Gay-Rights and Gender-Equality Test for Immigrants Might Look Like”

            Well, when that’s their stated premise?

  11. “Through questionnaires, searching social media, interviewing friends and family or other means, applicants would be vetted to see whether they support American values like tolerance and pluralism,” AP reports.

    Doesn’t the American university system already have these types of programs, often forcing new students into ‘training’ to make sure they not only love, but adhere to these values?

    1. I’m not seeing a whole lot of tolerance in the university system these days. I’ll give Trump the benefit of the doubt and say that he actually means tolerance of differing viewpoints, as well as different skin colors and lifestyles.

      1. I have an extremely Un-PC wise-ass son in High School. I’m worried that he’ll be tossed out of college for mouthing off to the Political Officers during the indoctrination phase.

        Is Hillsdale College any good? Maybe that’s where he belongs.

        1. At ECU, Democrats outnumber Republican professors by a mere 2:1. Most state universities range from 10:1 to 25:1.

          That’s no guarantee that they’re any less PC or more conservative in their thinking, but the fact that they’re tolerated in such high numbers is a good sign.

        2. Having just gone thru’ the college-hunting process with one of mine, I can say that Hillsdale is *sound*, although it’s more conservative than classical liberal. I’m outing myself here because the daughter is a kind of apprentice libertarian and hangs out here sometimes.

          She was accepted for Hillsdale (17% of applicants are given offers, so count this as a sort of humblebrag-by-proxy), but selected a place somewhat south of Michigan, although the place she’s going is comparable.

          My son, now 15 would probably benefit from an educational system run by an USMC Staff Sgt, but I can’t recommend the career path, but Hillsdale is certainly educationally rigorous and virtually SJW-free.

          1. Mine’s 15 too – thanks for the food for thought.

  12. Let’s use Trumps Own Words to Figure Out where he touched us on this doll.

    But is this better or worse then Trump is Hitler!

  13. Should we have ideological tests for things like support for socialism ?
    If so, what questions should be on it?

    Suggestions:
    1. Do you support the right to own property without fear of seizures by the government?

    (Trump correct answer: No.)

    2. Do you support freedom to trade with any willing partner inside or outside the country?

    (Trump correct answer: No.)

    3. Do you support the right to seek employment from any willing employer?

    (Trump correct answer: Only if you have the right papers)

    4. Do you support the right to “life liberty and the pursuit of happiness”?

    (Trump correct answer: Only for US citizens.)

    5. Should the government spend taxpayer money to stimulate the economy via infrastructure projects?

    (Trump correct answer: Yes, as much as possible)

    6. Should the government balance the budget?

    (Trump correct answer: No, balanced budgets are irrelevant)

    7. Should the government provide taxpayer funded old-age pensions and medical care.

    (Trump correct answer: Yes, definitely, hands off my social security and medicare)

    1. We should point out that according to the press release in which Trump said he wanted to screen out Muslims, he was reacting to a poll (a bogus poll in my opinion) that said 25% of the Muslims support violence against the United States.

      I do not believe that the government should be policing anybody for their beliefs (religious or otherwise). Nobody hates commies more than I do, but one of the reasons I hate commies is because they’re so prone to totalitarianism.

      I’m fond of the theory that one of things that distinguishes totalitarianism from authoritarianism is that where authoritarians aim to control what you do, totalitarians care deeply about controlling what you believe. You aren’t allowed to say whatever you want in Cuba, but you aren’t allowed to think whatever you want in North Korea.

      Belief tests reek of totalitarianism.

      I hate that some people think they’re entitled to a chunk of my earnings because I earned them, but I want to be free to say that all the able-bodied parasites in this country, who really couldn’t survive without sucking the blood out of my back, should left to starve to death, too.

    2. Let the hate flow through you!

      And in the future, queef elsewhere.

      1. Speak for yourself, jackhole.

  14. Trump is a fucking clown. Clinton committed high crimes and treason while secretary of state.

    Neither is qualified to be president, but Clinton should be wearing an orange jumpsuit while waiting for trial.

    1. Trump should be wearing a clown suit while waiting for a white van to take him away.

    2. Neither is qualified to be president

      They’re old enough, they’re American enough, and doggone it, people despise them!

    3. “Neither is qualified to be president, but Clinton should be wearing an orange jumpsuit while waiting for trial execution.

  15. “established conservative principles like religious freedom.”

    I have a vague memory of leftists and other non-conservatives caring about religious freedom.

    Or maybe “we’ve always been at war with Eastasia,” who knows.

    1. You don’t understand. When Christianity makes use of religious freedom, it’s punching down. Religious freedom is only supposed to be a protection against Christianity.

    2. Honestly, I think most people value religious freedom. They just differ a lot on how far that extends.

  16. Clever, ENB. Props for very slyly illustrating the disconnect between what Trump says and what he’s accused of:

    Accusation: Should men in the military be expected not to rape their female colleagues?

    Trump: 26,000 unreported sexual assults in the military-only 238 convictions. What did these geniuses expect when they put men & women together?

    You can take that tweet a lot of different directions, but “men in the military should not be expected to refrain from raping” isn’t one of them.

    1. Much like 2A advocates, they just can’t help themselves from committing violence. It’s merely the veneer of law and order that keeps them from taking up arms or raping fellow soldiers.

      With a friend like Trump, you can’t afford any more enemies.

    2. On a very literal reading, you can indeed get that from his statement, since that is exactly what his rhetorical question implies: that one would expect more sexual assaults when you put men and women together in the military.

      But I’d agree that it’s probably not a very fair reading.

  17. 3. So non-transgendered people should also not be forced to use a bathroom that matches their biological sex? Because the government does not seem to be OK with that.

    9. At an individual level you can expect one person not to rape another, at a policy level you are going to expect higher statistical incidence of sexual assault when you put men and women in close quarters.

  18. “Walking back his call for a blanket ban on Muslim immigration, Trump called earlier this summer for suspending U.S. immigration from certain geographic regions known for terrorism.”

    And that’s a good thing, right?

    Probably Constitutional, too.

    Does Hillary Clinton believe in open borders for Syrian refugees? Or is she for screening refugees too?

    Does Hillary’s position matter at all to the TDS set?

    Does it matter that under Obama Administration policy, it takes Syrian refugees an average of 24 months to be screened?

    1. “Every refugee goes through an intensive vetting process, but the precautions are increased for Syrians. Multiple law enforcement, intelligence and security agencies perform “the most rigorous screening of any traveler to the U.S.,” says a senior administration official. Among the agencies involved are the State Department, the FBI’s Terrorist Screening Center, the Department of Defense and the Department of Homeland Security. A DHS officer conducts in-person interviews with every applicant. Biometric information such as fingerprints are collected and matched against criminal databases. Biographical information such as past visa applications are scrutinized to ensure the applicant’s story coheres.”

      “This Is How the Syrian Refugee Screening Process Works”
      Time Magazine,

      http://tinyurl.com/oa3ctud

      That process sounds much more intrusive than Trump’s written test–I sure hope it is! Because the government has a legitimate role in protecting our rights from anti-American terrorists, doesn’t it? And if it can do so without discriminating against people’s religious beliefs, then that’s the goal.

  19. You know, I remember when I had friends who would do the same thing ENB has done in this article, i.e. use something that was said as a jumping off point for wild hyperbolic misrepresentation of someone they didn’t like. I always thought less of them for it.

    Most of them, thankfully, grew out of it.

    I know it’s a joke article, nothing meant to be serious, but it just reflects poorly upon the person who wrote it.

    1. Except maybe for the military sexual assault one, I really don’t see much hyperbole or misrepresentation here. It almost comes off as complimentary to Trump in places.

  20. The point of this article, much like the point of Reason itself these days, seems to be to provide an incoherent rebuttal to what the Republican alter-ego living in their head emotes about politics.

    1. an incoherent rebuttal to what the Republican alter-ego living in their head emotes about politics.

      that sounds about right.

  21. Incidentally, someone might want to pipe up with what American Muslims actually believe on some of these issues and how that compares to average Americans.

    “Today, Muslim Americans are more divided on this question: 39% say homosexuality should be accepted, while 45% say it should be discouraged. Four years ago, far more said homosexuality should be discouraged (61%) than accepted (27%).

    The broader public has become more accepting of homosexuality as well. Currently, 58% say homosexuality should be accepted, while 33% say it should be discouraged. In 2006, about half (51%) said homosexuality should be accepted, while 38% said it should be discouraged”

    —-Pew Research, August 30, 2011

    http://tinyurl.com/jp6b6r7

    Older data, yeah, but it appears, like much of the rest of America, Muslim Americans evolve on various social issues–just like the rest of the country.

  22. I am sure those who were born here in the U.S. and grew up here are probably more accepting than their immigrant parents and grandparents–but that’s always the way it is. The more integrated they become into the culture, the more their views reflect those of the wider culture.

    Also, I think the Donald Trump test question above about gay marriage was designed to make Trump fail the test. Asking devout Catholics or Evangelicals how they feel about gay marriage is probably a red herring, too. Pew asked everyone whether homosexuality should be accepted or rejected, and that’s probably a better approach.

    There are libertarians on this website who would see the government get out of the marriage business altogether rather than have gay marriage. I wouldn’t consider them a menace to society just because they’re not enthusiastic in their support for gay marriage. Sometimes, they’re just being Texans.

  23. well, that was something.

  24. Should men in the military be expected not to rape their female colleagues? Nope, impossible

    Pretty much. Expecting any particular man not to rape women is called “moral standards”. Expecting a large community of men to contain zero rapists is called “insane and naive”. At any rate, it seems like the first half of the comment was criticizing the poor state of sex assault prevention/policing.

  25. “Should men in the military be expected not to rape their female colleagues?”

    This wording is positively Robby-esque

    1. No – just the men in college.

  26. RE: Let’s Use Trump’s Own Words to Figure Out What His Gay-Rights and Gender-Equality Test for Immigrants Might Look Like

    We simply cannot have gays, who work hard and contribute to our society to exist in our socialist paradise. Saint Joseph Stalin did not tolerate gays, and we must not either if we are to become a true Stalinst slave state. What next, allowing gays to vote, hold office or serve in our armed forces? Secondly, immigrants should not be allowed to vote at all in our elections. They’re lucky they’re here period. They are only here to clean toilets, wash cars and clean houses in such progressive enclaves as Palo Alto, Austin, Texas, New York City, Beverly Hills, the Hamptons etc. What next? Allow immigrants into our schools, neighborhoods and churches? Where would it all end? They might become parasitical capitalists who become millionaires. They should’ve stayed in their magnificent socialist states if they knew what was good for them.
    It makes you wonder what this world is coming to.

    1. A Positive Christian altruist wrote in 1920: “He who is not a citizen shall live in Germany only as a guest and must be governed by the law for aliens… Any further immigration of non-Germans is to be prevented.” And let’s be honest; pot puffers and homosexurals “violate the ethical and moral feelings of the Germanic race,” so no freedom for them. Germany’s Positive Christian was elevated to office after Herbert Hoover’s Republicans protected Germany from payment of war crimes reparations debt in 1931-32, and history records the glorious conservative era that followed until May, 1945.

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    ??? http://www.Today40.com

  28. “Through questionnaires, searching social media, interviewing friends and family or other means, applicants would be vetted to see whether they support American values like tolerance and pluralism,”

    Excellent.

    I was expecting something like a sniff test, or maybe flip ’em like a chicken and take a peek at their genitals followed by a digital rectal exam with a finger of vaguely indescribable length.

  29. The Don made an end run around GO Prohibition and got the redneck vote. The platform still calls for The Wall, Hemp Hating Assassins of Youth, Klan Goblins forcing women to reproduce and the usual communist income tax, economy-wrecking asset forfeiture and whatnot. As Trump copied from Harry Belafonte, “…they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men.”
    Women, impoverished by 1932, realized their sons, daughters and fellas were being shot and branded felons by mystical throwbacks. Republican Pauline Sabin led women voters in a revolt through the Great Depression against God’s Own Prohibitionists, and 1932 was a bad year for ku-klux mystical politicians. The Don can’t erase the Mein Kampf GOPlatform of 2016, but he is leading it to the defeat it deserves.

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