Trump Sort of Proposes Armed Uprising If Hillary Wins, Omar Mateen's Dad in the News, Fiorina Wants to Be RNC Chairperson: P.M. Links

• 

  Dreamstime

  Omar Mateen's father attended a Hillary Clinton speech in Orlando. He's a major supporter of her campaign, as it turns out. He was standing right behind her while she spoke.

• A competent political opponent might have used Mateen's endorsement of Clinton to his advantage. Instead, Donald Trump said something unintelligible about an armed uprising against a theoretical Clinton administration.
• Sean Hannity sure loves Trump.
• Bernie Sanders purchased a summer home. Price tag: $600,000.
• Carly Fiorina is running to be the next chairperson of the RNC.

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Omar Mateen's father attended a Hillary Clinton speech in Orlando. He's a major supporter of her campaign, as it turns out. He was standing right behind her while she spoke.,/i>

HE'S HER DAVID DUKE

[Tonio]

But at least David Duke would close HTML tags.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Worse than fuckin Hitler.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I like to remind everyone every once in a while that I don't prepare my comments in advance. I know certain of you like the prepackaged, focus group tested and polished comments but this is REAL LIFE and sometimes it's GRITTY and RAW.

[Crusty Juggler]

this is REAL LIFE and sometimes it's GRITTY and RAW.

Much like Winston's mother's vagina.

[bacon-magic]

this is REAL LIFE and sometimes it's GRITTY and RAW.

Much like Winston's mother's vagina.

Raw food will make you sick. Repeat the previous sentence 1 million times and you will come close to the bio-hazard that is Winston's Mom's genitalia.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Jesus Christ, bacon-magic, you've gone too far. No one was talking about literally eating her vagina. Might as well eat a catcher's mitt.

[bacon-magic]

How did you know my real name?

[Mad Scientist]

A catcher's mitt has more experience will balls.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

That excuse is getting worn out.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

That excuse is GRITTY and RAW.

[Zunalter]

This one's prepackaged though, right?

[Tonio]

Kudos for the extemporaneous comments. Do you compose the html tags yourself, or do you use an editor or other tool?

[Fist of Etiquette]

All by hand, baby. Fist of Etiquette makes everything from scratch.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Hello.

NOBODY NEEDS A 600K HOUSE.

Right Bernie, you commie?

[Rhywun]

Wait a minute. I thought he barely had two nickels to run together. Where'd he get that kind of money?

[Rhywun]

*rub*

[Tonio]

Could he have legally spent his leftover campaign funds on that? Would be interesting to know where the money came from. [reaches for tinfoil]

[Chipwooder]

I thought his campaign ended up mired in debt, which was why he had to play nice with Hillary - so the DNC would pay off the debt?

[Tonio]

Hadn't researched that, obvs. So, yeah, where did he get the money? Also, not a very proletarian lifestyle for a man who lectures others about too many choices in personal care products.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

His wife, who ran that college into the ground?

[DOOMco]

She did, and Burlington doesn't care one bit.

[Gadfly]

Maybe 600K is the going rate to buy an endorsement? Has anyone checked to see if he recently got a job with the Clinton Foundation? /jk - but only sort of

[Rasilio]

I don't know about that, here in Massachusetts that barely gets you a 3br 2000 sq foot colonial in a decent school district

[Rhywun]

Here in NYC it gets you a bedroom and a broom closet if you're lucky.

It's still a lot of money.

[Crusty Juggler]

From the linked article:

The Burlington resident last week plopped down nearly $600,000 on a camp in North Hero.

Sanders' new waterfront crib has four bedrooms and 500 feet of Lake Champlain beachfront on the east side of the island ? facing Vermont, not New York. The Bern will keep his home in Burlington and use the new camp seasonally.

[Krapulent Kristen]

Well, fuck. I'm about to be in South Hero. Hope I don't run into him at Kim's Snack Bar or A&B Grocery.

[Paloma]

Why does he need to be in a decent school district?

[PBR Streetgang]

And he already has two homes, both of which he is still paying on (at least that's my guess best on his tax returns wherein he deducted $23k in mortgage interest).
How does he even quality for a loan on this third house?

[Ted S.]

Because FYTW?

[PBR Streetgang]

**Checks Bernie's HUD-1**

Yup, that's it.

[yet another dave]

He's been a mayor... in congress... and the senate... that there is some sweet gubmit pensions cumming his way... guarateed american rubles. Why shouldn't he have his own dacha in the country?

[Rhywun]

Maybe Hillary laundered some of her Saudi money in his direction.

[Injun, as in from India]

I saw a comment somewhere about how the media would have reacted if Dylan Roof's Dad was standing behind Trump.

The media will obviously ignore this.

[Tonio]

I think that was on AM links...

[Ted S.]

Oh, I was thinking it was Clock Boy's father, not the guy who shot up the gay nightclub.

[Rhywun]

Me too at first. It's hard to keep all these crackpots apart in my head anymore.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Doesn't Marvel have a Clock Boy superhero? The one that can build a bomb out of anything?

[DWB]

Not this Clock Boy I assume???

[RebeccaAdams]

I'm making $96 an hour working from home. I was shocked when my neighbour told me she was averaging $120 but I see how it works now. I feel so much freedom now that I'm my own boss.
Just working on the internet for a few hours.
This is what I do.------------------- http://bit.do/GvGO0

[Playa Manhattan.]

"Omar Mateen's father attended a Hillary Clinton speech in Orlando. He's a major supporter of her campaign, as it turns out. He was standing right behind her while she spoke."

It's incompetence, plain and simple.

But hey, Melanoma Trump gave a plagiarized speech.

[Rhywun]

Other than being the father of a mass-murderer, why should we care? Was there something sinister (besides being a donor to Clinton) that I'm not remembering?

[Private Chipperbot]

His Youtube tirades.

[Playa Manhattan.]

The guy is a scumbag of the highest order.

That alone shouldn't be a problem, but yeah, the father of a recent mass murderer should probably stay the fuck out of the spotlight.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Using him as an example to fight for gun control is retarded as it is immoral. I don't see how this can strengthen their case. Never mind facts, just appeal to the emotions.

Scum. Bags.

But hey...progressives.

[Rhywun]

The gist I got was he happened to be in the audience behind her. I don't think she pointed him out or anything. I mean, that would be... poor optics.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Perhaps, but it wouldn't surprise me one iota if they did.

[Playa Manhattan.]

Everyone seated behind her is screened by the secret service and vetted by her campaign. This was a colossal fuck up.

Given his ties to the Taliban, I'd be VERY surprised if he isn't under 24 hour surveillance by at least 1 of our intelligence services.

[Mad Scientist]

Since our intelligence services specialize in fucking up, this seems more SNAFU than FUBAR.

[JWW]

Shit, how can you conclude that? His kid scared gun store owners enough that they voluntarily called the FBI who did nothing...

[PapayaSF]

Mr. Mateen is pro-Taliban and anti-gay, among other things.

No doubt Hillary's vetting of Syrian refugees will be just as good as the vetting of her VIP guests.

[Rhywun]

Yeah, I'm willing to concede she probably had to vet anyone behind her.

Stupid, stupid move. Not that anyone will give a shit.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Instead, Donald Trump said something unintelligible about an armed uprising against a theoretical Clinton administration.

The Second Amendment was written over a hundred years ago!

[Injun, as in from India]

He's a Clinton plant, I'm tellin' ya.

He's a darned Clinton plant throwing the election, like a crooked boxer throwing a fight by getting beat up.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

I've been saying this for over a year.

[JWW]

Yeah, I just can't shake that feeling either.

Especially when Clinton makes mistake after mistake and Trumps go to response is to do something so stupid everyone forgets what Clinton did.

In my mind I can just picture the moment when in his concession speech he admits that he was a plant all along...

[ant1sthenes]

I sort of hope for it, partly for lulz, but mostly because I think that will be the last fucking straw.

[Injun, as in from India]

Bernie Sanders purchased a summer home. Price tag: $600,000.

Who needs a $600,000 house when children are starving in this country?

TAKE IT!

[Tonio]

[Stands and applauds.] That was beautiful, Hiawatha.

[Injun, as in from India]

Thanks bro. 🙂

Remember the scene from Dr. Zhivago where his house is taken over by random people? That came to mind when I wrote that comment.

[Tonio]

I've never seen that movie. Back in the day it was generally a chick flick.

[Ted S.]

Read the book. (The movie opens with the book's first epilogue. The book also doesn't have the socialist realism imagery the movie does.)

[PapayaSF]

It's a very good movie, and one of the few major Hollywood productions to show the downsides of the Russian Revolution.

[Krapulent Kristen]

That's when I realized Omar Sharif is a helluvan actor. He's barely recognizable from his role in Lawrence of Arabia.

[Sir Digby Chicken Caesar]

Bernie Sanders purchased a summer home

What, can he not live in his winter home year-round?

[Playa Manhattan.]

"Bernie Sanders purchased a summer home. Price tag: $600,000."

You don't need 2 types of homes.

[Injun, as in from India]

The comrade needs a Soviet-style apartment.

Dachas are only for the top people.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

In Soviet Union, loser of race against chosen political leader becomes building foundation.

[Certified Public Asshat]

Multiple homes, but only one stick of deodorant.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

This is triggering for me. It reminds me of the time Jesse Benton bought a huge house with his almost half a million salary paid for with $20 Ron Paul donations.

[Domestic Dissident]

Poor old shrieking dingbat Hillary can't even get up a "flight" of three steps without help from multiple assistants. Pretty sad.

This and her many other recent instances of bizarre behavior has led pharmaceutical guy Martin Shkreli to speculate that she may be in the early stages of Parkinson's Disease. Hmmmmmmmmm.

Additionally, many others are beginning to wonder: who exactly is that large "handler" who is now almost always seem standing very close to her, and is often carrying what appears to many people to be a Diazepam auto-injector pen?

Better be on very close standby at all times, Tim Kaine!

[Playa Manhattan.]

Martin Shkreli has no idea what the fuck he is saying or doing. You may as well quote the homeless guy on the corner.

[Domestic Dissident]

I don't know. But you've got to admit though that it's pretty obvious even to the layperson that she's in really bad shape, right? The next time she falls down and busts her skull open could very easily be the last.

[Playa Manhattan.]

I'd like to see an impartial physical.

McCain released 1000s of pages of records over melanoma.

[Playa Manhattan.]

Case in point about impartial: Longtorso's link below. She donated $125k to the hospital that treated her blood clot.

Hush money, or is she a nice, charitable person? You decide.

[Ted S.]

In theory, it would be a HIPAA violation for the hospital to release those records; no donation necessary.

(If they released Trump's records, the Feds wouldn't prosecute, of course.)

[The Last American Hero]

Even if you know the future POTUS is engaging in fraud?

[Playa Manhattan.]

She's gonna get pressured into releasing the records.

She'll only authorize the release of the ones that don't make her look bad.

[LynchPin1477]

But you've got to admit though that it's pretty obvious even to the layperson that she's in really bad shape, right?

/consults with friends and family about Clinton's health

The verdict seems to be that this is a total non-issue outside of a few right wing blogs that apparently spend their time analyzing JPGEG artifacts for deeper truths. So while it may or may not be true, it's certainly not obvious to the layperson.

[Rhywun]

LOL, that punchface fraudster?!

[Playa Manhattan.]

I have nothing but hate in my heart for him.

He tried to get involved with my company. The most dishonest fuck ever. Good thing he's going to go to jail for it.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

His face would squish in like a loaf of Wonder bread. His face is built more for mushroom stamps than punches.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

Mike is the homeless guy on the corner.

[Playa Manhattan.]

The call came from inside the building?

[Rich]

The man is dressed like a secret service agent but his actions prove otherwise.

Meh. The woman is dressed like a presidential candidate but her actions prove otherwise.

[JWW]

Actually she dresses like a communist dictator....

[Tonio]

It is quite conceivable that a seriously ill candidate only several months out from an election would continue to run knowing that she would probably not finish her term, perhaps serve a token few weeks just to get in the history books. Not unlike Edward VIII.

[Rich]

Yep.

And when the illness becomes undeniable, she's a shoo-in from the sympathy vote.

[Domestic Dissident]

But it ain't exactly the forties anymore when the president could be in a wheelchair dying and nobody in the country would know. As you can see, they can't hide what a bad state she's in anymore, it's out in the open now.

[Eric L]

Like the late congressman from Sacramento, CA, Bob Matsui - knew he was dying but ran and won re-election. He died the following New Year's Day before being sworn in for his new term.

[bacon-magic]

Don't you mean Shrillary Clitgun? Come on Mike, retarded names have to be seen to be underappreciated.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

[drops weapon and raises both hands high at the sight of the clitgun]

[Cdr Lytton]

Eyes shut! Don't shoot!

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

There are images floating around that claim to be Clinton's medical records from Dr. Lisa Bardack's medical office stating that she has complex partial seizures and subcortical vascular dementia.

[Don'tTreadOnMeChipper]

If true, not good for her. For the rest of the world, not so sure....

[Fist of Etiquette]

Sean Hannity sure loves Trump.

I'm pretty sure he was going to really love whoever the GOP nominee ended up being.

[Injun, as in from India]

His love for Trump is special.

It's beyond your average homoerotic spiritual love. It's animal.

[Trigger Hippie]

A Hannity's love is very different from that of a square.

[DEATFBIRSECIA]

+1 Upgrayedd.

[Hooha]

But why are there two "d"s?

[greasonable]

The two D's are for a "double-dose of pimpin"

[Rich]

Bernie Sanders purchased a summer home. Price tag: $600,000.

He charged it on his credit card, no doubt.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Agent: That's be $600 thousand, sir.
Sanders: You take Mastercard?

[Rich]

Agent: That's be $600 thousand, sir.
Sanders: My fair share, heh.

[Juvenile Bluster]

A competent political opponent might have used Mateen's endorsement of Clinton to his advantage. Instead, Donald Trump said something unintelligible about an armed uprising against a theoretical Clinton administration.

As much as I hate conspiracy theories, it's really hard for me not to believe that Trump is a Clinton plant.

[PapayaSF]

Why do people keep saying that? You think that a billionaire with a huge ego would devote a year of his life to take a dive in an election, all as a favor for a friend? Occam's Razor, my friend. Trump is a loudmouthed New Yorker. He says a lot of unfiltered things. That doesn't mean he doesn't want to win.

[1775]

Who said anything about "favor for a friend"? He gets her elected, she returns that favor with money or power. This isn't that windey a mental road.

[PapayaSF]

You think Trump needs Hillary to give him money and power? Sounds like a stretch to me.

[ant1sthenes]

Sure, if the favor is repaid well enough. For example, by not releasing the tape of him fucking an underaged hooker with Clinton buddy Epstein.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

After today, I'm wondering if they're in constant communication, Clinton giving orders to Trump whenever she fucks up. Like in one of SugarFree's delightful stories.

[ant1sthenes]

How is what he said any worse than an oblique comment about woodchippers? It was clearly a joke, perhaps dark humor, but it isn't out of line with the mood of the country. Electing either one of these asshats could result in a civil war, and failing to elect them might as well.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Big Gay Ice Cream Shop Brings 'Golden Girls'-Themed Treats to West Village

[Injun, as in from India]

I misread that as Golden Girls-Themed Teats.

[Anomalous]

Those would surely flop.

[Rich]

Swiss should stay abreast of such abuse.

[Injun, as in from India]

I don't know man. With the boomer retirements, maybe there is a market for geriatric strippers.

[bacon-magic]

You mean they put the scoop in a tube sock?

[IndyEleven]

Guaranteed to be dairy-free

[bacon-magic]

The milk's gone sour.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Well... don't stop there!

You've got my juices flowing. And Crusty's ready to pole-vault.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Instead of Moose Tracks, they have a flavor called Loose Cracks. Instead of little peanut butter cups, it has vaginal suppositories.

[The Fusionist]

Maybe we've found the explanation for the low birth rate.

[Sir Digby Chicken Caesar]

"We're at the corner of gay and gayer,"

"The Salty Pimp is far and away our most popular item,"

OK, then.

[Rhywun]

Liars. Gay is 3 blocks away.

[Chipwooder]

Do you have to travel round the world and back again, and have a heart that's, and be a pal and a confidante to buy it?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Bernie Sanders purchased a summer home. Price tag: $600,000.

Was it at least in Brooklyn?

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

IT'S IN THE BRONX

[Crusty Juggler]

Bernie Sanders purchased a summer home. Price tag: $600,000.

He's just like us!

*swoon*

[Playa Manhattan.]

"Carly Fiorina is running to be the next chairperson of the RNC."

I couldn't even tell you who that person is now. Maybe that's a good thing.

[RBS]

Reince Priebus. Which, frankly, sounds made up.

[End Child Unemployment]

There's a joke in here somewhere about a black republican man with an unbelievable, fake sounding name.

[Anomalous]

It's an anagram for Pubic Re-rinse.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Hey, it doesn't sound any worse than Paul Reubens' other stage name.

[Glide]

That's funny, because even Reince Priebus had electoral success before getting the RNC gig. Carly Fiorina has lost two elections out of two and her only jobs in politics have been on a bunch of advisory boards and as a McCain campaign lackey.

I actually kind of liked her as a presidential candidate, I just think it's weird that someone somewhere is looking at the Republicans and going "you know what we need to get us out of this rut? That woman who keeps running campaigns she can't possibly win!"

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Can Too Much Sex Lead To Dissatisfaction With Women?

[Ted S.]

Ask Jesse.

[Playa Manhattan.]

Question: Are you one of our beloved homotarians? I don't recall you ever saying so, but other people seem to think you have.

[Crusty Juggler]

There is a Homotarian Sect doing The Lord's work, fending off the gay apocalypse one snarky comment at a time?

[Ted S.]

Just a confirmed bachelor who doesn't get much of any.

(I was sexually abused when I was young, which I wouldn't be surprised might have something to do with my low sex drive.)

[Tonio]

The phrase "confirmed bachelor" was code for "gay," back in the day.

[Rich]

"Single gentleman", also.

[Caput Lupinum]

It is also the name of the gay perk in Fallout: New Vegas.

[RBS]

That's terrible. Probably has something to do with your love of Opera though.

[Playa Manhattan.]

Shit. Sorry man.

Thanks for not turning out like Plopper. It takes real character to make it through something like that.

[commodious warned u bucko]

*fist bumps Ted*

Amen, brother.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Wow, that sucks big time, Ted. Hope you are happy these days.

[Mad Scientist]

I am Spartacus!

[jesse.in.mb]

I think that causation might be backward there, Ted.

[Don'tTreadOnMeChipper]

For realz.

[End Child Unemployment]

Does anybody buy this gerbitz? The guy can't even english correctly.

"Excerpts from a novel written about extensive sexual research with woman"

[Ted S.]

"And God Created Woman"

[Rasilio]

Lol moron, no you are not dissatisfied with women, you simply have the normal human desire for a deeper and more meaningful relationship intruding on your twisted world view.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Carly Fiorina is running to be the next chairperson of the RNC.

President Trump has someone prettier in mind.

[Rich]

Belgian police hunting teenager who pledged to 'kill all Christians' in online video

Li?ge newspaper La Meuse reports that the teenager is the son of a local radical imam, El Alami Amaouch, who currently faces deportation to the Netherlands.

I suppose the imam won't help the police find his son, then.

[Injun, as in from India]

Deportation to the Netherlands?

[Rich]

Yeah, that jumped out at me, too.

What a weird country the EU is.

[John Titor]

If they're in Brabant, it may just require throwing him into a specific neighbourhood.

[Rich]

Good grief! That's almost as bad as Maryland's districts!

[Wasteland Wanderer]

Tom Scott did a pretty good video on that place.

[robc]

N3 should set up a toll.

[ant1sthenes]

What sort of people would just shuffle priests that pose a threat to the public around from place to place?

[The Fusionist]

Even if they don't find him, I bet he'll turn up somewhere. Maybe a mall or a nightclub.

[Rich]

"... and part of his anus in Dallas."

[Sir Digby Chicken Caesar]

From whence comes the phrase, "Half-assed in Dallas".

[Rhywun]

Kids say the darndest things.

[Playa Manhattan.]

"Instead, Donald Trump said something unintelligible about an armed uprising against a theoretical Clinton administration."

Ne he fucking didn't. Jesus Christ. He mentioned the second fucking amendment. You know, in the Bill of Rights.

[Chipwooder]

It's almost as if the 2A were there to be a bulwark against tyranny or something. Crazy, I know.

[grrizzly]

An American just lost to a Russian in a judo final.

[Playa Manhattan.]

He was obviously cheating. Test his urine.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Judo is like going out to a fine restaurant and only getting the appetizer.

[Crusty Juggler]

Breathe in! Remember Eric the Eel...? Meet Robel the Whale: Ethiopian swimmer displays a very unathletic paunch for 100 metres... And finishes last by half a lap

Of the 59 competitors across the eight heats, the unfortunate swimmer was ranked 59th with a time of 1 minute 4.95 seconds.

He is just like us!

[Playa Manhattan.]

He's just there for the buffet in olympic village.

All they have in Ethiopia is stone soup.

[RBS]

I'm going to need to see his long form birth certificate.

[Rasilio]

Not really, Ethiopian and Eretrian food rocks and I love me some Gomen Wat

[Playa Manhattan.]

It was a joke. A joke about starving people.

There are a couple Ethiopian restaurants over near the airport, and they're always crowded.

[DenverJ]

There's quite a few over here on the east side of Denver/Aurora. Must be a community of immigrants. Haven't tried it, keep meaning to.

[Tonio]

Oh, that's really going to piss off the fat-shaming public health people. Good.

[lafe.long]

Yuri van Gelder: Dutch Gymnast Kicked Off Olympic Team After Night of Drinking in Rio

The Dutch Olympic Committee said in a statement that Van Gelder, the former world champion in rings, "gravely violated" team rules by drinking on an off day at the games.

That'll teach him. He shoulda stuckto bending spoons.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Today in "shit JB's prog friends post" (or in this case, share), part 1:

Everything is white supremacy

[John Titor]

That's the shittiest white supremacy food pyramid I've ever seen, mayonnaise is nowhere on it!

[Tonio]

That is just bizarre. Why are some things outside the pyramid?

"Assuming that good intentions are enough." Delicious self-parody.

"The issues we have are from the underlying, covert white supremacy that is being hidden behind videos of cops giving ice cream to black women while they beat and murder them off camera." Now, that's an actual substantive issue, yet the author completely alienated any potential allies with all the other BS.

I'm sorry for you, JB. I didn't think it was possible to have friends whinier than those on my derpbook.

[PapayaSF]

I think they're outside because they couldn't fit them into the pyramid.

[RBS]

How is celebrating Columbus Day covert?

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

"White Savior Complex"

Somebody didn't read their pyramid properly.

It's good to know that 'Police murdering POC' falls into the 'Socially acceptable' area.

[Heroic Mulatto]

That's just the Prog version of those World Jewry Controls Everything! flowcharts

[AddictionMyth]

It was a blatant threat. You could see the people gasping behind him when he said it.

[lafe.long]

Bloomfield, New Jersey: Man Wearing Donald Trump T-Shirt Beaten in Restaurant Parking Lot, Police Say

An 62-year-old man was attacked by another man with a crowbar outside a Friendly's in Bloomfield last week, police said Tuesday. The attacker reportedly took issue with the victim's Trump shirt.

[Rich]

The attacker reportedly took issue with the victim's Trump shirt.

So the victim was merely collateral damage?

[Tonio]

But since speech is now violence the attacker was just defending himself against a tangible threat.

[Anomalous]

If it had happened inside Friendly's, that would have truly been ironic.

[PapayaSF]

More Trump-caused violence!!

[Flemur]

Well, the victim was an unarmed black man, so it'll be featured in "Hit and Run" pretty soon.

No wait, the attacker was an unarmed black man.

No wait, the attacker was a black guy armed with a crowbar.

[Injun, as in from India]

Carly Fiorina is running to be the next chairperson of the RNC.

Wherein she plots an HP-Compaq style merger for the RNC and DNC.

[Anomalous]

As long as people are put out of work as a result, I'm fine with it.

[Crusty Juggler]

The Avocado Time Machine Keeps Guacamole Green

Natavo Zero promises to halt browning for up to 10 days, even after the avocado is cut or pulped. The process only requires that the resulting product is refrigerated so it doesn't spoil.

this isn't a technique for home use, nor does it protect the avocados that you and I might buy from the supermarket. Instead, it's aimed at the processed-food industry, allowing manufacturers of foods like guacamole to make it without adding extra preservatives or additives like green food dye.

[Playa Manhattan.]

Or you can just put them in a vacuum container.

[OneOut]

Or some lime juice, tupperware, and the fridge

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Omar Mateen's father attended a Hillary Clinton speech in Orlando. He's a major supporter of her campaign, as it turns out. He was standing right behind her while she spoke.

Well, we all know what that means.

[Crusty Juggler]

It means you must - and I mean must - vote against Donald Trump.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Clinton Kicked $125K to Hospital After Receiving Treatment for Blood Clot

[Mazakon]

Michelle Fields' fiancee makes the case for a "negotiated Republican surrender to Hillary"

Why not go one step further? Given that Trump is on track to lose and given that his presidency might very well be worse for the country and conservatism than Hillary's anyway, why don't Republican lawmakers band together and see if they can come to some sort of deal with Hillary?

More precisely, top Republican and conservative leaders should band together and offer Hillary a deal to rescind their endorsements of Trump and endorse her in exchange for some policy concessions.

[Ted S.]

As if she'd hold to that agreement as President.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Make a large contribution to the Clinton foundation.

[Tonio]

"We have altered the deal; pray we do not alter it further."

[ant1sthenes]

Here's an alternate path. Redstexit. Secede. The part of the US that includes DC is fucked, and the longer you wait to jump, the more fucked you are. He who hesitates is lost.

[lafe.long]

Clovis, New Mexico: Mother and Son Face Up to 18 Months in Prison for Incestuous Relationship, Report Says

Monica Mares, 36, and Caleb Peterson, 19, told the Daily Mail they want to raise awareness for Genetic Sexual Attraction relationships. Peterson and his biological mother face trial in September.

[Playa Manhattan.]

Sterilize them both. It's the only thing to do.

[Free Society]

Sterilize them both, from space with nukes, it's the only thing to do.

[Cdr Lytton]

Which meme fits better here- Crusty would or Winston's mom?

[RBS]

Yes.

[Crusty Juggler]

Excuse me, she is taken, and I do not engage in devious fiddle-faddle with women in relationships.

Thank you.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Yes, she is taken, but you only have to wait 30 seconds.

[ant1sthenes]

I think he was talking about the incestuous lady, not Winston's mom.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

New Mexico... always New Mexico.

[commodious warned u bucko]

Florida of the southwest.

[Tonio]

This is the fault of the gays, obviously. /soconz

[Playa Manhattan.]

The sight of that woman damn near turned me gay.

[PapayaSF]

No kidding. The English mother/son couple was more understandable.

[jesse.in.mb]

Awww. He looks like a smush-faced Jonny Lee Miller

[Brett L]

Who I though was Chris O'Donnell, but can act.

[DenverJ]

... and after giving birth to her son aged 19, gave him up for adoption.

Sounds painful.

[DenverJ]

They both have pretty nice pads for Clovis.

[Juice]

That's a HAAAAAAAARD 36.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Today in "shit JB's prog friends post", part 2:

I feel like Hillary has been attacked for everything for so long that there are two ways of looking at it. Either you think, as I do, that if there was anything actually there it would have been found long ago. No one has been under the microscope more than her and Bubba. The other side seems to think that where there is smoke there must be fire and if there isn't any hard evidence for doing evil things like murdering Vince Foster it's only because they are evil masterminds who covered it up.

I think the benghazi witch hunt was insane but the email thing was definitely a mistake she shouldn't have made. I think she's an awkward campaigner but also brilliant and will make a great president.

I post this stuff because I feel all of you should be as miserable as I am.

[bacon-magic]

Delete your Facebook account, it's the only way to be sure.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

You should just throw out any device you own to connect to the internet, because I don't want your misery.

[rts]

It's actually more difficult than you might realise.

[Free Society]

Delete your Facebook account from space with nukes. It's the only way to be sure.

[tarran]

I have to say that my FB feed has gotten so much more tolerable since my Hillary worshipping MIL unfriended me.

[John Titor]

Social justice parodies continue. I wonder what the actual percentage of Millennials both inside and outside of university settings actually support social justice concepts. I certainly know millennials who constantly mock Black Lives Matter, so progress?

[Juvenile Bluster]

That might be better than his "Ain't No Rest for the Triggered".

Well done.

[commodious warned u bucko]

Welcome to Tumblr!

[Crusty Juggler]

I wonder what the actual percentage of Millennials both inside and outside of university settings actually support social justice concepts

I would guess very few.

[SIV]

The millennials in university must all be grad students, junior faculty, administrators or non-traditional students by now. 18-22 y/o undergrads would be whatever the next (hopefully less retarded and harder working) generation is called.

[DenverJ]

The Pokemon go generation

[Microaggressor]

I've always been of the opinion that social justice is best met with extreme ridicule. Keep it up and it'll become less fashionable among the youth.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Will The Establishment's Stalking Horse for Hillary Blow Up the Republican Party?

...The Establishment's plan is very simple. They've pretty much announced it. Bret Stephens, for example, does not hide the fact that his plan is to help Hillary into the presidency with a "blow out" against Trump. Then, he figures, the rebellious Untermenschen of the Lumpenproletariat will come grovelling to the Establishment for its super-successful and popular policy mix of unchastened neocon foreign adventurism, favors for corporate cronies, and official, explicit Open Borders policy.

Here's Stephens admitting The Plan, which is hardly necessary anyway, as it was always pretty obvious:

This is the reason I've consistently argued that the only hope for a conservative restoration is a blowout Hillary Clinton victory, held in check by a Republican majority in Congress. If Mr. Trump loses the election narrowly, the stab-in-the-back thesis will have a patina of credibility that he might have won had it not been for the opposition of people like me. But a McGovern-style defeat makes that argument impossible to sustain except among the most cretinous. We can count on Mr. Hannity for that....

[Drake]

I'm in s conference this week. CNN is constantly running in the lobby. If they just put "Trump Sucks" in giant letters across the screen, it would be more subtle. Hard to believe how blatantly in the bag they are for Hillary.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

It's CNN, they've always been pro Hillary.

[lafe.long]

Scott Baio: Actor Says 'I Don't Care' About Backlash for Supporting GOP Candidate Donald Trump

"I genuinely, in my heart, do not care if I ever work again. I don't care," he told The Hollywood Reporter when asked whether his GOP convention appearance will hurt his chances of booking jobs.

Oh Chachi.

[Crusty Juggler]

Worse comes to worse he can once again team up with the great Willie Ames.

[Playa Manhattan.]

Ahem.

Nicole Eggert.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

So yourself a favor and Google her current appearance.

[Crusty Juggler]

Shhh. It's better if he doesn't know.

[DenverJ]

For her age (44), she's not bad. And, she should be rich, so you know, have her gimme a call sometime.

[Trigger Hippie]

I do some side work on the weekends with my step brother and it seems one of his employees is the brother of Danny Carey, the drummer from Tool.

That's all I got today...

[bacon-magic]

Carey is a bad ass. Tool rocks.

[0x90]

+10,000

[Kool]

OGgoddamnedT
NinetygoddamnedTwo

[DenverJ]

That's cool!

[commodious warned u bucko]

Trump is not running for president. He is running interference for Clinton. The flubs and miscues and lies and outrageous stunts are meant to dissuade Republicans and to give Democrats a reason to show up in November. It's given the media a reason to ignore her flagrant corruption.

[lafe.long]

East Fork Wolf Pack: Wildlife Officials Say Alaskan Wolf Pack May Be Dead Due to Overhunting

Bridget Borg, a biologist at the National Park Service, says her team was unable to find the last remaining members of the East Fork wolf pack. The Denali pack had been studied since the 1930s.

[The Fusionist]

She'll get those wolves eventually - resistance is futile.

[SIV]

The family's den is empty and overgrown with weeds. Porcupines have taken it over since June 28, when the group was last seen.

Gentrification comes to East Fork.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

The wolf pack will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

[Cdr Lytton]

Wolf 359 was the last one.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Last time a Clinton ran, we had a crazy billionaire jumping in and out of the race just enough to give him the win with a minority of the vote. Just sayin'.

[Mokers]

Last time a Clinton ran, we had a crazy billionaire jumping in and out of the race just enough to give him the win with a minority of the vote. Just sayin'.

And his base was pissed off at NAFTA!

[lafe.long]

Piers Morgan and Wil Wheaton troll over Olympic Gold in shooting discipline (VIDEO)

Following Thrasher's gold medal win in the women's 10-meter air rifle competition, Morgan tweeted "LEAST SURPRISING BREAKING NEWS EVER: America's 1st Olympic Gold Medal is for Shooting."

America's first gold medal in the 2016 Olympics was won by a teenager for shooting. Because we now live inside @TheOnion.

? Wil Wheaton (@wilw) August 6, 2016

[Juvenile Bluster]

And then after Wheaton got called out on his post, he played the "LULZ IT WAS A JOKE WHY DON'T YOU IDIOTS REALIZE IT WAS A JOKE" card

[John Titor]

Wil Wheaton has, for some unfathomable reason, dedicated his entire adult career towards making himself less likable than Wesley Crusher. Which is kind of impressive in a way.

I remember when Obamacare was being passed and he was screaming on Facebook that everyone who didn't support it were Nazis.

[Mad Scientist]

He's sucking IRONICALLY!

[Chipwooder]

Nothing like like hanging on by your fingernails to relevance based on a decades old TV show

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Failed child actor who's only relevance is using social media to be a fifth-rate Jon Stewart. Do you think he's even aware that people are laughing at him and not with him?

[Ted S.]

Didn't he claim to be a libertarian at one point?

[John Titor]

I don't believe so, but I do remember how he used to proclaim "Wheaton's Law: Don't be a dick" while at the same time badmouthing everyone who disagreed with him and being an insufferable cunt in general.

[Rasilio]

When he first came back as an adult he was kind of interesting, he was humble self depricating, and appreciative of the opportunities his life had opened for him.

Then he went sjw and he's been an insufferable prick ever since.

[bacon-magic]

I'm pretty sure Will(yes, it's two Ls but your momma didn't luvs you)Wheaton comments on here under AmSoc.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Ah, yes. 'Doin' a Stewart' is what we call it around these parts.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Do you know what "doing the Stewart" means in the bedroom?

[Rufus The Monocled]

Wtf? They're going after legit sports now? Wtf?

[Free Society]

How is it a joke that America does well in shooting competitions? It's badass, fucking A right. Other countries that don't have the wherewithal to appreciate the value of firearms and firearm ownership, I consider them weaklings.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Damn right. All the Brits can hope for is to win the English muffin tossing event. Oh, wait, they can't, cause Mr. Thomas has gone to America.

[Hank Phillips]

Relevant to the Gary campaign, a Brazilian won gold in a shooting match. Nothing drives appreciation of heat like Kristallnacht gun bans.

[TheZeitgeist]

Carly Fiorina is running to be the next chairperson of the RNC.

But RNC isn't operation anything like HP before Carly - the RNC already is a clusterfuck.

So what's the value-add here?

[Dennis, Constitutional Peasant]

File under = "Dear Obama, The "Pay someone to dig a hole, then pay them to fill it back in"-thing was actually just a joke"

U.S. must bury coal to save miner jobs: Interior secretary

Jewell, standing atop an abandoned mine last week on Thursday, had a different message from the Obama administration.

The United States, she said, will shift to cleaner renewable energy. Coal will continue to play a role but a diminished one. She said Washington will not abandon coal communities.

"There is a brighter future for coal country if we step up and fund reclamation projects," Jewell said to a crew of former miners at a ceremony for the first cleanup program to receive a grant under a new, $90 million federal pilot grant program. Mine cleanup can provide a livelihood, Jewell said, even if it will not mean as many jobs as producing coal once did.

"I'm so tired of the rhetoric that suggests we are anti-coal," she said in an interview with Reuters.

That money is frozen until 2023 in the Interior Department's Abandoned Mine Land (AML) program, but Congress (*LOL) could kick-start hundreds more cleanup projects across coal country, Jewell said.

[Free Society]

A brighter future for coal country? Like saying there's a bright future for Detroit because metal scrappers come from far and wide to disassemble abandoned steel factory buildings. Except that at least scrap metal is an economic good, whereas vague "green" initiatives offer no goods except for politically connected land owners.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Who will save your soul?

[Hank Phillips]

So... does this mean all Anti Money Laundering laws are repealed for lack of an AML acronym?

[lafe.long]

Amherst, New York: Suspected Meth Lab Found Under Wal-Mart Parking Lot, Officials Say

Amherst police, fire and hazmat crews began a probe into a suspected meth lab in the sewer of a Wal-Mart on Sheridan and Bailey. Surveillance video will reportedly be used to locate suspects.

[Dennis, Constitutional Peasant]

Surveillance video will reportedly be used to locate suspects

Thanks for the heads up

[Ted S.]

Even though putting the effective cold medicines behind the pharmacy counter did nothing to stop meth production, there's no way that law is ever getting repealed. Because the feds hate the children.

[Dennis, Constitutional Peasant]

Pokemon = Soon to be world's leading Serial Killer

Brazil police investigate possible Pokemon angle in boy's drowning

[Hank Phillips]

Also relevant to the Gary campaign, a bar in southern Brazil has banned Pokemon. Will someone declare it a religion and get The Political State to force that bartender to apologize and serve a round on the house?

[ant1sthenes]

Gary Oak? Fuck that little nepotistic shitweasel.

[Dennis, Constitutional Peasant]

Human Meddling in Ancient Crypt Unlocks Long Dormant Evil Magic

[John Titor]

Mysterious amulet messages discovered in Serbia

Unless the message is 'Remove kebab' I'm calling them forgeries, or at least not authentically Serb.

[IndyEleven]

B-e-s-u-r-e-t-o-d-r-i-n-k-y-o-u-r-o-v

[lafe.long]

+1 damn commercial

[OldMexican sine qua non]

Son of a bitch!

[Free Society]

Bernie Sanders purchased a summer home. Price tag: $600,000.

There's nothing wrong there. The Soviet Union set a precedent for loyal socialists being given luxurious summer homes. They're doing the people's work and so need to be rested and well provided for.

[OneOut]

You don't think Top Men really like milk do you ?

They drink it because they need it to serve you better.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Did You Have Sex at Gizmodo's Star Trek Book Party?

[Longtorso, Johnny]

NBC Should Really Stop Using This Underwater Camera For Women's Water Polo [NSFW]

NBC Aired A Bare Breast During Live Water Polo Coverage Today [NSFW]

[Crusty Juggler]

Yeah, that was really hot. Thanks .

[bacon-magic]

+1(You would have a +100 but the 99 other posts counteracted that)

[lafe.long]

NBC Should Really Stop Using This Underwater Camera For Women's Water Polo

No, no they shouldn't.

[Horatio]

Why is it that, despite limitless access to bare breasts in any shape, size, or color I desire, I was compelled to click that link?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Why is it that, despite limitless access to bare breasts in any shape, size, or color I desire, I was compelled to click that link?

*cue music*

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Because each breast is special in its own unique way.

[KWlib]

Every good commie has a dacha.

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

"Audit: Pentagon Cannot Account For $6.5 Trillion Dollars Is Taxpayer Money"

Sounds like the Pentagon is overfunded by $6.5T...

[Dr. Jonathan Crane]

Do you hate America and our soldiers or something?

[Dennis, Constitutional Peasant]

Things I love about America =

700hp Pontiac Fieros

[Mad Scientist]

I can't believe anyone would even consider running one, much less a pair, of those shitty Kirkey Intermediate seats in a car that makes 700 horses.

[Dennis, Constitutional Peasant]

The car was constructed in a backyard with cereal-box cutouts and krazy-glue.

[SIV]

I was disappointed it had a full tube frame and cage. Not like one of those "stock" 500hp+ Galant VR-4s that gets you permanently barred from test night at the dragstrip.

[TheZeitgeist]

C'mon. There must be 1,000hp LS.x Fiero street-sleeper out there somewhere.

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

"Unusual" accounting: Inside a Trump business audit

Businesses typically calculate their revenues and expenses using one of two accounting methods, cash or accrual. This is one of the marquee concepts of the Generally Accepted Accounting Principles (GAAP), a set of standards that guide the field.

In 1987, the Grand Hyatt decided to retroactively use both for the year before -- accounting for revenues on a cash basis and expenses on an accrual basis.

Auditors said the decision allowed the hotel to misrepresent its profits, an accusation the hotel denied, arguing that its contract with the city didn't require it to follow GAAP.

I guess Trump has experience in Federal government accounting then!

[AlmightyJB]

Yeah, that's shady.

[R C Dean]

Yeah, no.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

SOMEONE DISAPPEARED THE TRUMP POST UP-BLOG!

[lafe.long]

Mebbe it was them 2nd ammendment types.

[Dennis, Constitutional Peasant]

DEY GOT THEY GUNS AND MADE IT GOWAY

[DEG]

The loving embrace of Big Brother

Just two weeks after announcing a new program designed to focus prosecutor efforts on Pottstown crime, the Montgomery County District Attorney's office unveiled a program to install the first of 10 street surveillance cameras in the borough.

"This is another example of this office's commitment to this community," Brianna Ringwood, assistant district attorney and Captain of the DA's Community Prosecution Unit in Pottstown, told borough council Wednesday during a presentation on the program.

[DEG]

His testimony helped convict a friend for murder. 28 years later, he says he lied

David Bollinger, Small's childhood friend who was the key witness against him in the 1988 trial, contacted the North Carolina Actual Innocence Commission with a shocking admission.

Bollinger said he lied on the stand in 1988, and he doesn't think Small killed anyone.

[DEG]

Later:

The two weren't even together at the time of Dreher's death, Bollinger said. Instead, he was driving his boss to an automobile auction in South Carolina.

He said that he lied because Wilmington Police Department detective James Lightner told him to and threatened to arrest him for murder if he didn't cooperate. Bollinger said Lightner told him that he would be charged with Dreher's murder and receive the death penalty, the Associated Press reported.

Bollinger said he was naive about how the court system worked and believed Lightner.

"They questioned and interrogated me one night, and the rest of the time it was coaching ? telling me what to say," Bollinger said, according to the Star.

"I lied on him," Bollinger said. WRAL reported. "(The investigator) told me, if I didn't say (that Small did it), he was going to prosecute me for murder, and I would get the death penalty."

"I'm sorry. I was forced to do something I didn't want to do and I can't take it back," Bollinger said, looking at Small who raised his wrists, still handcuffed together, to dab tears from his eyes, the Associated Press reported.

Bollinger said he told his grandfather, a former police officer and FBI agent, about the police forcing him to lie, but his grandfather encouraged him to stick to that story.

"He told me to go along with the story. He knew I would get into trouble, and he didn't like Johnny," Bollinger said.

Bolding mine

[Ted S.]

Some friend.

[Cdr Lytton]

At least he recanted now rather than just taking it to his grave. I'm sure Lightner will be charged with attempted murder, right?

[Free Society]

Assistant Attorney General Jess Mekeel said Small's motion should be dismissed.

"Innocence is in vogue now," he told the judge, the Associated Press reported.

What a piece of shit argument to make. You can expect that from a piece of shit prosecutor.

[JWW]

Hey Bernie, you asshole, one house is enough for everyone.

It would be interesting if god damned socialists weren't all fucking hypocrites. Of course if they really lived like socialism wants the rest of us to live they couldn't handle being fucking socialists.

[R C Dean]

He was standing right behind her while she spoke.

Those spots, the ones that get camera visibility during an event, are usually controlled by the campaign. It would have been interesting for a reporter to do a little digging on that - does the Hillary campaign control who has these spots? If so, how did Mateen get this one? Etc.

This, unlike the Trump calls for judicial assassinations bit, actually has a little meat on its bones. Its possibly a non-story, but only if the campaign doesn't vet and control the high-visibility seats at rallies. If the campaign does, well now, we've got a campaign story on our hands.

But that part where reporters do a little digging into the Hillary campaign aint gonna happen, I guess.

[ant1sthenes]

Seems like an easy dig: "Hope that Hillary vets refugees better than she vets the people that come to her rallies"

I mean, what is she supposed to say to that? She did vet the guy and want him there?

[Hank Phillips]

The Go Pee prohibitionists have since 1928 been a refuge for Klansmen and other mohammedans masquerading as low-tariff Mercantilists. Thanks to anarchist communists likewise pretending to be something vaguely libertarian-sounding, anyone who evinces interest in cutting taxes, bombing fewer villages or repealing a regulation is smeared as "right-wing"--meaning a ku-klux prohibitionist mad bomber. Four parties already answer to that calling and they who deem the Don insufficiently fanatical about bullying women will go to the other three, NOT the LP.