Hillary Historically Adequate in DNC Speech, Demonstrators Held in Federal Detention Center, Chelsea Manning Faces Charges for Suicide Try: A.M. Links


  • ENB

    Hillary Clinton accepted the Democratic presidential nomination and became the first female presidential candidate for a major party with a convention speech described as "unadventurous but commanding" and "superbly written, adequately delivered." The speech "lacked the poetic sweep of the President Barack Obama's address Wednesday," says CNN, "but it was in keeping with someone who presents herself as a practical, dogged, policy-oriented striver who gets knocked down and then gets straight back up."

  • Around a dozen protesters were arrested in conjunction with the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia this week. "The police, instead of hauling demonstrators off to jail as they did 16 years ago when Republicans gathered in the city, issued those who crossed the line $50 tickets for disorderly conduct and released them with complimentary bottles of water," NBC reports. But seven people who crossed a Secret Service fence around the Wells Fargo Center were held in a federal detention center and scheduled to see a judge Thursday. 
  • A Texas police officer who witnessed part of the Sandra Bland traffic stop that led to her imprisonment said the local district attorney's office wouldn't allow him to testify to the grand jury; the Waller County District Attorney, Elton Mathis, said this is "fictional." 
  • Chelsea Manning faces additional charges that could lead to indefinite solitary confinement after trying to commit suicide July 5. 
  • Thursday night's DNC speeches featured the first openly transgender person, LGBT rights activist Sarah McBride, to speak at a major-party convention.
  • "Donald Trump… let me ask you, 'Have you even read the United States Constitution?'" asks Khizr Khan, the father of a Muslim soldier killed in Iraq.

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  1. I don’t see how a person couldn’t look at doing Links as the most important part of their day.

    1. I believe you.

        1. It appears that many here feel the same way.

          Do you people ever have to work ? I try to snatch a few minutes reading the comments off and on throughout the day. I usually finish reading the AM comments not long before the PM links get posted.

          I’m gonna have to cite you on a technicality here though Fist. In fact it is your own technicality Fist as your First Fist of the day contained no relevant content to a linked article.

          I hearby award the First Post of the day to the second poster, Fist…….oh hell, never mind.

          1. There’s always a loophole.

          2. You can try, but you’ll never actually manage to out-Fist Eugene.

          3. Govt work is tough. Don’t bother me. I only have 5 more weeks of vacation left.

            1. Yeah but then it’s back to the loud cube.

            2. Govt work is tough. Don’t bother me. I only have 5 more weeks of vacation left.

              How many times can you mark something as spam?

            3. Pshaw. I have unlimited PTO at my new company… Just too many responsibilities and commitments to use it all.

    2. Hello.

    3. Extra 8 minutes for alt-text.

  2. Hillary Clinton accepted the Democratic presidential nomination and became the first female presidential candidate for a major party…

    She’s been saving that white pantsuit for eight years.

    1. She had to wait long enough so she didn’t have to use the “oh, I spilled some tomato juice” excuse.

      1. “oh, I spilled some tomato juice”

        “Did you sit in it?”

  3. Thursday night’s DNC speeches featured the first openly transgender person, LGBT rights activist Sarah McBride, to speak at a major-party convention.

    But which bathroom did she use?

    1. “That’s a man, baby!”

    2. The 25 year-old Delaware native, who is the national press secretary for the Human Rights Campaign, made headlines in April after she posted a photo of herself from inside a women’s bathroom in a government building in Charlotte, North Carolina, defying a controversial state law that mandates people use the bathrooms that match the biological sex they were assigned at birth.

      WHOAH. WOW. I mean, WHOAH.

      1. Ermagerd, suh brave.

      2. A modern day Rosa Parks.

      3. This is important shit.

        How many times was terrorism mentioned at the DNC convention? Any mention of Cankles planned trillion dollar tax hike?

        1. Not as far as I know. And, also not as far as I know, did Reason’s hard-hitting coverage this week mention the tax hike, either.

          Of course, their hard-hitting coverage this week landed a fair number of blows on Trump, so I guess its all good, right?

        2. It’s funny, I never thought, in my wildest dreams, I would seriously consider renunciation of my US Citizenship. Dr. ZG asked my recently if I would ever consider doing it if the politics and the taxation in the USA became onerous enough.

          I may have to do some serious soul searching soon…


        1. I KNOWRITE?

  4. some things cannot be unseen…

    They’re making lingerie for dudes now

    And incredibly, the two-year-old concept seems to be catching on: Menageri?’s Chantilly lace-accented low-rise brief, which retails from $59 to $69, is currently sold out, while its black-lace elastic “biker short” ($89) is nearly so. Even a torturous-looking waist trainer ($89 to $99) is sold out in some sizes, meaning that at least a few guys have bought these fancy Spanx-for-men.

    But while the response has been positive, Sipe realizes the idea of manly lingerie is a tough sell. “Most [straight guys] don’t think they need it, or couldn’t see themselves actually buying a pair of lace underwear,” he tells Refinery29.

    “However, there are a few who find it intriguing and simply ask things like, ‘Well, are they comfortable?’?” And while some ladies may find the idea of a man in lace panties disturbing, maybe seeing a guy putting in a bit of effort in the boudoir would be nice for once.

    1. You know what else is comfortable? Regular underwear.

      1. It most certainly is not.

        1. Then you’re buying the wrong ones.

        2. Boxer briefs for the win.

          1. Most boxer briefs are too damn tight on my mighty Dutch thighs,

            1. Pics?

            2. Do you crush men’s skulls like sparrow eggs with them?

              1. What I do in the bedroom is not a matter of public record.

            3. I thought you only wore the metal cod-piece that matches the hockey mask?

        3. Crusty rarely wears underwear… and when he does, it’s usually something interesting.

          Name that movie.

          1. I believe it’s actually “something unusual”, no?

            1. OOF-TAH!

          2. Stripes! Bill Murray Quote.

      2. Only freeballin’ is real

        1. But then you’re limited to button fly, unless you want to chance getting the beans or the frank stuck in the zipper.

          1. An overrated danger. The real worry is visible dick line (feel free to google image that at work, because it is totally safe), because no one wants to see that.

            1. Bug or feature?

        2. The best part about freeballin’ is it improves your skill with stringed instruments.

      3. +1 red wool union suit with buttflap.

      1. MANZIERE!

        1. No, Bro!

    2. maybe seeing a guy putting in a bit of effort in the boudoir would be nice for once.

      “We need to talk.”



    3. Perhaps not unseen, but I won’t give it any thought when I go to Walmart to buy the 5-pack of Hanes.

    4. The days of finger poppin` Harry Blaine rotten crotch through his pretty pink panties are over?

    5. Meh. If it keeps your woman or man supporting your lifestyle of doing not much, its a small sacrifice.

    6. What, International Male didn’t exist before now?

      1. +1 Banana Hammock

      2. I completely forgot that ever existed. Back in the 90s I had a very Christian roommate who got their catalogs in the mail.

    7. Are they gonna make the Bro?

      1. Manssiere!

    8. maybe seeing a guy putting in a bit of effort in the boudoir would be nice for once

      What, my three minutes of thrusting isn’t effort enough for you? Well, too bad, I’ve got other shit that needs doing.

      1. “maybe seeing a guy putting in a bit of effort in the boudoir would be nice for once”

        Says the woman lying on her back and wondering what color to paint the ceiling.

    9. This is ridiculous. I do just fine with a cowboy hat and a raised eyebrow.

    10. I have been going indian for 40 years.

      I can say with confidence that panties are for pussies.

      1. Those are tough words from a guy wearing a diaper.

        1. The proper expression is “going commando”.

          1. Tom Petty calls it free ballin’.

    11. Well since Women buy pretty much most things in America, I’m going to go ahead and say that’s the case here as well.

  5. “Donald Trump… let me ask you, ‘Have you even read the United States Constitution?'” asks Khizr Khan,

    Oddly, he has.

    1. Apparently Mr. Khan has not, as he seems to think the Constitution guarantees unfettered immigration from anywhere and by anyone to the US. Maybe he can point out that particular article.

      1. Interstate commerce, duh?

        1. If anything, that would just give the government more control over immigration…

      2. Well, islamites are a special protected class now…..so

      3. I believe that’s the Zeroth Amendment.

    2. “Oddly” is the way Trump does most things.

    3. Rather ironic that he’s telling people to support the woman who voted for the war that killed his son.

      1. “That’s not how we’re choosing to remember this!”


    1. British tradition? Great now I have to worry about getting lectured that I’m appropriating another culture. Can we just lay claim right now that Shower/pool/beach beer is a proud American tradition?

      1. Shower beer is one of the best feelings in existence. You can’t just indulge in that shit anytime though; you have to earn it with serious labor or feats of war.

    2. it’s every Brit’s inalienable right to get in the holiday mood from the moment they lock the front door

      Bullshit! The Brits don’t even have a constitution.


      1. Unruly Airplane! passenger? Let me handle this. *Slap*

      2. You know who else didn’t believe in inalienable rights?

      3. You know who else didn’t believe in inalienable rights?

        1. Besides the squirrels.

        2. ET’s finger?

        3. As I mentioned last nite:

          I just love how Mrs. Khan was such an equal partner in Mr. Khan’s propaganda speech and not just standing silently, three feet behind him, in a burka hijab matching his tie.

          Oh, wait …

  6. The speech “lacked the poetic sweep of the President Barack Obama’s address Wednesday,” says CNN

    Sure, these are the important things.

    1. It’s the last thing we as a nation can cling to for the illusion of competent leadership.

    2. Didn’t watch it. Did she do the Arkansas drawl or the Urban Noyoudiddin’ voice?

      1. She ain’t no ways tahrd!

      2. She used the uncharismatic neutral voice. Caught just a bit of it, and she has absolutely no personality or charisma. Seems like a dead fish on stage.

        1. That would explain the smell that those in the front row were complaining about.

        2. thats why she yells everything so that no one will know who she is specifically pandering to.


  7. “Donald Trump… let me ask you, ‘Have you even read the United States Constitution?'” asks Khizr Khan, the father of a Muslim soldier killed in Iraq.

    They can’t all be constitutional scholars.

    1. As he supports a candidate who vows to violate both the 1st and 2nd amendments immediately upon taking office.

      1. Hillary Clinton explicilty said she would make changes to the 1st amendment.

        “That’s why we need to appoint Supreme Court justices who will get money out of politics and expand voting rights, not restrict them. And we’ll pass a constitutional amendment to overturn Citizens United!”

  8. OT: Beijing rations car license plates; people find ways around it. It’s almost as though unintended consequences were a thing and not just a loonytarian talking point.

  9. Full List of Hillary’s Planned Tax Hikes

    Hillary has endorsed several tax increases on middle income Americans, despite her pledge not to raise taxes on any American making less than $250,000. She has said she would be fine with a payroll tax hike on all Americans, she has endorsed a steep soda tax, endorsed a 25% national gun tax, and most recently, her campaign manager John Podesta said she would be open to a carbon tax. It’s no wonder that when asked by ABC’s George Stephanopoulos if her pledge was a “rock-solid” promise, she slipped and said the pledge was merely a “goal.” In other words, she’s going to raise taxes on middle income Americans.

    Hillary’s formally proposed $1 trillion net tax increase consists of the following:

    Income Tax Increase ? $350 Billion: Clinton has proposed a $350 billion income tax hike in the form of a 28 percent cap on itemized deductions.

    Business Tax Increase — $275 Billion: Clinton has called for a tax hike of at least $275 billion through undefined business tax reform, as described in a Clinton campaign document.

    “Fairness” Tax Increase — $400 Billion: According to her published plan,

    1. Read her lips: No new taxes on Americans earning less than $250,000/yr. Also, if American corporations are nearly as undertaxed as the right-thinking people keep saying they are, what possible need could there be for her “exit tax?”

      1. Candidate Clinton said nothing about not increasing taxes already in place though.

        1. But these are New taxes atop the old ones, not an increase in the existing ones!

          1. Or I’m not drunk enough to understand english

    2. Where’s the tax on illegal servers?

      1. Oh, no, those get a pass (even if they’re the kind of illegal server that works under the table and crossed the rio grande at one point)

    3. “Fairness” Tax”

      Exudes evil.

    4. 25% national gun tax

      Expect record gun purchases between November and January then.

      1. Well if she gets her dirty cankles all over tort law, gun companies will be held liable for any shooting that takes place. Gun companies might as well just liquidate their assets and drop pallets of cash over Chicago on their way out of the country.

    5. Thats okay according to Moodys she will grow the economy by 10 million. Amazingly the article admits that the person who did the analysis donated to her campaign. Of course the 10 million jobs will probably all be filled by illegals

      1. …the 10 million jobs will probably all be filled by illegals…

        More likely robots with names like Bender Bending Rodriguez. (Also Mexican!)

    1. I have an unhealthy addiction to Rob Scallon and Jared Dines

  10. “but it was in keeping with someone who presents herself as a practical, dogged, policy-oriented striver who gets knocked down and then gets straight back up.”

    She’s a Weeble? That explains her fashion choices, i guess.

    1. Barbara Mikulski is the “original” Weeble.

  11. Playa is excited: Chipotle Branching out, Plans to Open Burger Restaurant

    The chain known for burritos said Thursday it will open a Tasty Made location this fall in Lancaster, Ohio, which is southeast of Columbus. The menu will be limited to burgers, fries and milkshakes, it said.

    1. Are their burgers also going to be dry and tasteless?

      1. I never got the appeal of Chipotle, even ignoring the food poisoning and norovirus. They seem to think spices, flavoring, and even salsa are evil.

        1. Amen. This is probably due to your being familiar with how Mexican food is supposed to taste.

        2. “What’s this chopped tomatoes crap? This is Murika! If they ain’t pureed then it ain’t salsa!”

          I often wonder what’s the deal with this board’s hate boner for Chipotle. They offer piles of mediocre faux-Mexican at an appropriate price. I have never understood why people get excited about it either way.

          I guess the company’s hippy-centric marketing and this board’s food snobbery combine to make it the ripest of targets.

          1. Because they are many other options for cheap, fast Mexican food that actually has at least some semblance of flavor. Their existence doesn’t bother me, but the fact that people rave about it is something that I literally cannot understand. All of the other fast food style Mexican places are better!

            1. The Chipotles around here are a touch better than their competitors (Moe’s, Qdoba). I suspect there’s a surprisingly competent regional manager to credit.

              1. I think your brain might be broken. Chipotle doesn’t even compare to those two.

                1. It depends on what you’re getting. The chicken and steak at Chipotle are garbage, but the barbacoa and carnitas are decent. Also, around here at least, Chipotle gives you like 25% more meat.

                  Sauce wise Chipotle’s the worst of the three. And to make matters worse they only stock Tabasco hot sauce, which is crap.

                  I’ve spent way more time on this than these crappy create-your-own Burrito chains deserve.

    2. So exciting that they’re expanding the number of ways to get food poisoning.

      1. Apparently they have a few ways to get poisoned:

        Chipotle already has an Asian food concept called ShopHouse, which lists 15 locations, and a pizza concept called Pizzeria Locale, which lists five locations.

        1. Chipotle already has an Asian food concept called ShopHouse

          , featuring the “Unhappy Ending”.

          1. The first time i ate at Chipotle, i completely wrecked a Barnes and Noble bathroom less than ten minutes later. Pretty sure it’s a Superfund site now.

            1. See you should have bought some Chipotle-Away.

          2. Their marketing people should be fired. No way that isn’t referred to as “SlopHouse” by the public.

    3. Will it have the same high burger quality of their former owners McDonalds?

    4. Mad cot disease to go with your dose of norovirus and e. coli?

      1. “Mad COT” disease? Bedbugs?

    5. The menu will be limited to burgers, fries and milkshakes, it said.

      And maybe some Norovirus and Salmonella.

    6. McDonalds?

    7. The cows will be read Calf Einstein books and will listen to Mozart.

    8. ‘Known for burgers’?

      I thought they were best known for food poisoning?

  12. “The police, instead of hauling demonstrators off to jail as they did 16 years ago when Republicans gathered in the city, issued those who crossed the line $50 tickets for disorderly conduct and released them with complimentary bottles of water,”

    I think those demonstrators are in for a Schuylkill Surprise tomorrow in the bathroom all day.

  13. Thursday night’s DNC speeches featured the first openly transgender person, LGBT rights activist Sarah McBride, to speak at a major-party convention.

    Let’s all try to guess the first covert one.

    1. Funny thing, the first covert one was just a couple nights earlier. Go Bloomberg!

    2. Madeleine Albright?

    3. Janet Reno. Come on.

  14. How Do You Say ‘Hashtag’ or ‘Shaming’ in Ancient Hebrew?

    But despite the richness of the language, this high-tech nation can find itself at a loss for contemporary terms. The venerated Academy of the Hebrew Language is always working to update a vocabulary inscribed on parchment for the digital era.

    Among the academy’s latest crop, announced on Twitter this month, were Hebrew words for shaming (“biyush,” an outgrowth of an existing verb, to shame), hashtag (“tag hakbatza” ? literally, group tag) and big data (“netunei atek”).

    Ben kalbah.

    1. “Welcome to Krav Maga class! My name is Yoni, which in Hebrew means ‘Brave Warrior.’ Unfortunately, in Sanskrit, it means ‘Female Genitalia.'”

      1. In Lapine, it means “hedgehog.”

  15. ‘Flushable wipes’ controversy: Do Canadians need toilet training?

    Metro Vancouver, for instance, is spending $200,000 on an “Adult Toilet Training” program this summer, using humourous videos and ads in pink port-a-potties to bring the message to its 2.5 million system users that it’s not OK to flush “flushable” wipes — or anything else other than “pee, poo and toilet paper.”

    In Fredericton, the city warns: “If you did not eat it first, you should find another way to dispose of it,” on its website.

    Toronto’s wastewater division advises residents not to flush any wipes — “even those that say flushable can cause a problem.”

    The industry, however, is unrepentant. Lynn Matheus, senior research and engineering manager for Kimberly-Clark, the company that manufactures popular Cottonelle wipes, insists that flushable wipes are just that.

    1. Was this supposed to be in response to the Chipotle link above?

    2. “If you did not eat it first, you should find another way to dispose of it,”

      They want them to eat toilet paper before they flush it?

      1. That’s the one exception.

        They do want you to eat your dead fish, though.

    3. The next step is an inspector while you shit

      1. C’mon, this isn’t Germany.

        1. Those aren’t the official inspectors!

    4. I stay in a hostel sometimes while traveling (whenever I have to provide my own lodging because I’m cheap as fuck and meeting single foreign chicks is fun). They have a big sign over the toilet saying “don’t flush tp, put it in this bin”. Um, fuck you, no.

      1. You should check out Russia, toilets there seem to be powered by MiG engines and can flush anything. I’m pretty sure Putin disappears dissidents by flushing them.

        1. Plus, after you’ve “met” some single foreign chicks, you can buy antibiotics over the counter.

        2. Its amazing how much more suction several gallons of water will create compared to 1.2 liters.

          1. Leave it to liberals to worry about running out of something that literally falls from the sky.

        3. I lived in an older house with pre-war toilets. My guess is each flush took about 20 gallons, and created a downdraft that would slam the bathroom door.

          God, I loved that toilet.

      2. See this in asia a lot. Also no TP, just a box of tissues out in the hall, where the only trash can is also (and it’s always overfilled already).

        I think the govt in Taiwan is trying to get people to flush TP these days, because of disease spread or something.

    5. In some countries, you don’t even get to flush the toilet paper!

      1. I was in Crete a few years ago, where this was an issue. I discovered the hard way that attempting to flush the paper didn’t work too well. Their sewer systems, built all over a rocky island, cannot handle solids other than feces; while you have to use a bin next to the toilet for your paper, on the upside, the garbage collectors at my rural location would come and collect trash several times a day.

        I suspect they don’t do that anymore, too expensive…

        1. As a note, my Dad sold industrial first-aid and safety equipment to industry throughout Houston. The quickest way to find out if a company used migrant or illegals was to go into the toilet and see all the shitty TP in the trash cans.

  16. But seven people who crossed a Secret Service fence around the Wells Fargo Center were held in a federal detention center and scheduled to see a judge Thursday.

    White privilege. Right, Elizabeth?

    1. Not letting them back out would have been a simpler punishment, but probably cruel and unusual.

  17. Parents are naming their children after Pokemon characters as Pokemon Go game goes stratospheric

    Squirtle, Pikachu and Meowth could be found in our classrooms in as little as five years, after experts predict a surge in the number of babies – named after POKEMON.

    Pokemon Go has taken the world by storm and set to inspire the next generation of baby names following it’s success, a baby organisation has revealed.

    Staff at Baby Centre, an organisation which offers advice to parents, believe there will be an influx in the number of Pokemon-inspired monikers in the months to come, such as Otto, Hettie, Delphine or Flynn.

    1. Good, we’ll know who to round up when the revolution comes.

    2. Can we not post clickbait Daily Mail articles? This is one step below Salon, if that is possible.

      (note: I did not even hover over the link. I’m assuming it’s Daily Mail based on the way it’s written)

      1. close: The Daily Record

      2. Clickbait Daily Mail articles are fun. Quit drinking haterade!

        1. If nothing else it’s nice to be reminded that, contra overwhelming popular assumption on this side of the Atlantic, Britain is not inherently a nation of class, intelligence, or taste.

          1. Had a Japanese lady friend of mine (oh, yeah) say she didn’t see any British people when she went to London. Obviously Lacist! (True story though).

            1. My father just got back and said the same thing.

        1. everything is fine in moderation.

          1. Doesn’t look like she practices moderation.

            Mean Girls Lindsay Lohan was so long ago 🙁

            1. I’ll bet she skips the occasional AA meeting or probation appointment.

            2. Jesus, it looks like she’s got the body of a 50-year-old.

            3. She still looks like a good time for an insane drunken tornado binge three-day weekend.

              1. That’s what all the guys say before they wind up engaged to her after they find out she’s moved herself into their house.

              2. She still looks like a good time for an insane drunken tornado binge three-day weekend.

                Not even with your dick slammed in a car door multiple times… And don’t forget, each of her freckles is symptomatic of *each* strain of STD she has.

              3. She still looks like a good time for an insane drunken tornado binge three-day weekend.

                If you’ve already got herpes…

              4. Who’s her blonde friend? She looks like a good time no matter what.

            4. I would have buried my dick so far inside of her ass that whoever could pull it out would be crowned King Arthur.

          1. Now that’s Journalism, you won’t see the out of touch elitists at ABC, CBS or NBC deliver that kind of hard hitting news.

          2. That reminds me, I hate rompers. They do nothing for a woman’s body and it just looks like they are parading around in toddler clothing.

            THEN, this week I discovered they have to basically strip it off to go to the bathroom. What in the fuck? Why would you wear something so impractical that looks terrible?

            1. I had to look up what a romper is.

              I think they are quite fetching on a very particular subset of women.

              1. I think they are quite fetching on a very particular subset of women

                Where’s OMWC with a ruling?

            2. Incorrect Zeb, rompers look terrible. Very attractive women can still look attractive, but that is in spite of the romper. Certainly not aided by it.

        2. Why did I click that. Total Crusty territory

          1. Why did I click that.

            Should be the motto of the commentariat.

    3. ‘Believes there will be’

      So – no one has *actually done this yet*. But somehow they think people will suddenly do it in large numbers.

      1. “We are too relevant! Pay attention to us!”

    4. “after experts predict a surge in the number of babies – named after POKEMON.”


  18. The speech … “was in keeping with someone who presents herself as a practical, dogged, policy-oriented striver who gets knocked down and then gets straight back up.”

    IOW, a load of crap?

      1. It’s that low center of mass typical of a canklesaurus.

    1. I checked my FB this morning…Lots and lots of “literally crying right now” and “weeping in public.”

      1. It’s so nice of you to be Facebook friends with all of those mentally challenged folks.

      2. Why are they crying?

        1. Have you heard about Tom Jones?

        2. Well, I’d cry too if Hillary was my candidate.

      3. Yeah, it’s depressing that Clinton and Trump are the major party nominees, but we’ll get through this.

      4. I cry when I see or hear Cankles too but probably for a different reason than those idiots.

    2. In other words, she’s just like Richard Nixon, a “striver” who kept getting knocked down and getting straight back up. See how well that turned out.

  19. The Australian Capital Territory is our version of DC, with fewer guns or go-go music. Here is how it is proposing to regulate its public servants:

    Workers would face misconduct proceedings and potential dismissal if they said or did anything “outside of the performance of official functions” that damaged the reputation of the public sector or ACT executive.

    Public servants would also be legally compelled to dob in a colleague, should they become aware he or she is harming the government’s reputation.

    The laws aim to clamp down on bureaucrats posting on social media, but are worded broadly enough to apply to any conduct outside the office.

    1. The more time they spend regulating each other, the less time they spend messing with other people?

    2. Public servants would also be legally compelled to dob in a colleague


  20. Couple claims sexual assault by toy at hibachi restaurant

    “It was a sexual-style assault on my wife,” James Lassiter said Tuesday.

    The toy, used during the cook’s show at Wasabi Japanese Steakhouse, was made to look like a little boy, and it shoots water when its plastic pants are pulled down.

    Isabelle Lassiter said she thinks the cooks here showed a little too much of the little guy in the cook’s hand.

    “It peed on me, basically,” she said Tuesday.

    Wasabi admitted one of the chefs shot some of the water in the face of one of its customers.

    “You hold it aside and water comes out,” said Johnny Huang, general manager of Wasabi.

    Isabelle and James Lassiter were in town on a job from Texas. They said they were mortified when the chef essentially made the toy urinate water on Isabelle.

    Lighten up, Francis.

    1. What a bunch of uptight wieners.

    2. Free meals are hard to come by these days.

      1. people like this should be court ordered to wear giant condoms on their heads whenever they go out in public.

    3. That’s the second best part of the show after the onion volcano.

      1. Onion volcano is great, but no love for butterfly shrimp?

    4. Lame. At the hibachi place I went to recently they shot saki in your face.

      I hadn’t been to one of those things before and didn’t realize you got a comedy show.

      And urinating on people isn’t necessarily sexual.

      1. they shot saki in your face.

        Zeb doesn’t even try with the euphemisms.

      2. And urinating on people isn’t necessarily sexual.

        R. Kelly called, he wants to know where you were when his defense team needed you.

      3. And urinating on people isn’t necessarily sexual.

        R. Kelly called, he wants to know where you were when his defense team needed you.

        1. Maybe she was just cold.

          1. “That’s my Robert, always peein’ on people.”

      4. meh. peeing is like a casual first date, call me when poop becomes involved.

        1. German, huh?

    5. Getting rich American style.

    6. Doug and Wendy Whiner.

    7. They use sake in the hibachi place near me.

  21. Uber Has Yet to Reduce Drunk Driving Deaths, Study Says

    The report looked at traffic fatalities in the 100 most populated metropolitan areas in the US between 2014 and 2009, when services like Uber were introduced, and studied the traffic patterns during holidays, weekends and otherwise regular days.

    The authors accounted for the differences in state laws that could impact road safety, like texting bans, marijuana legislation and beer taxes. And they included the availability of taxis in their control methods, so that they weren’t comparing metropolitan areas with access to cabs like to those without them.

    “Ultimately the finding was that there was no association?no positive effect or negative effect,” Kirk said.

    There you have it. Science.

    1. So I guess we might as well ban Uber.

    2. Probably because most drunk driving deaths are caused by the hard core alkies who have been driving shitfaced since they were 16 and don’t give a shit.

      1. I think not giving a shit is the common denominator in most accidents.

      2. And conversely – the rest of us who are blowing .1 are getting screwed by overzealous law enforcement.

        Because as we see when you remove casual drinkers from the roads, the rate of DDD’s does not change meaning these people were not contributing significantly to the danger of drunk driving in the first place.

        1. Shhh. But seriously, my kids are going to have Uber (or whatever replaces it 12-15 years from now) on their devices so they can never have to drive home from a party. I came up driving and riding home from places that I never should have. It took a long time and a lot of really dangerous activity to get past my reflexive tendency to drive home. Of course, some of the places that are now $18 Uber rides would have been $50 cab rides, IF you could even get a cab to show.

          1. Another way to ensure your kids never drive drunk is to never let them leave the house unless you know where they are going, and where they are going does not involve social activity.

            1. That seems harder than putting my Uber account on their device and denying them access to my car keys.

    3. This seems really surprising to me.

    4. The authors accounted for the differences in state laws that could impact road safety, like texting bans, marijuana legislation and beer taxes.

      I smell fudge. Anybody else smell fudge?

      1. Study finds conclusion it was specifically set up to find, news at eleven.

    5. The report looked at traffic fatalities

      Which is legit, but I wonder about DUI arrests?

  22. Clinton’s Image Among Democrats at a Historic Low

    Of the Democrats who view her negatively, 89% believed the country is on the wrong track ? even more pessimistic than the electorate as a whole, among whom 71% see the country on the wrong track. Almost one third of the Democrats who feel negatively about Mrs. Clinton are under 30, even though they made up only 18% of the voters surveyed. And 40% of them are liberals, who make up just 27% of those surveyed.

    Democrats are hoping the convention in Philadelphia will help improve her image . Her husband’s experience offers some hope: Heading into his 1992 convention, Bill Clinton was viewed positively by 47% of Democrats and negatively by 19%. After the convention, his image improved to 68% positive and 11% negative.

  23. Leftist Filmmaker Uploads Video Showing His Shock At Just How Empty The DNC Is

    Film director, Josh Fox, best known for his Oscar-nominated anti-fracking documentary Gasland, uploaded a video (below) to his Facebook page live from inside the Wells Fargo Center, where he was utterly shocked at the amount of empty seats.

    Fox tells the camera, “This is amazing, this place is empty. There is nobody left in here. I mean this whole stadium, look at this,” as he pans his cellphone to show the lack of cheering Dems.

    He continues in disbelief, adding, “This is not voter enthusiasm…. I can’t believe my eyes. I’ve never seen anything like this. This is the primetime of the Democratic National Convention right after the nomination of Hillary Clinton and this place is emptied out like crazy. I’m stunned.”

    1. Did CNN, NBC, et al. show these empty seat shots? I’m going to guess no.

      1. Not a chance in hell. Those shots have all come primarily from Bernie supporters who decided to hang around after the mass walkout; the Clinton campaign had to resort to astroturf by paying people $50 to sit and clap on cue, and pipe in applause to make up for the lack of bodies.

        Reminds me of pro wrestling events on TV where they’d move everyone to one side of the arena to make it look like the event was packed.

      2. Did CNN, NBC, et al. show these empty seat shots? I’m going to guess no.

        You Know Who Else didn’t show empty seats or protests from inside the building?

        1. reason?

    2. Not sure why you would be shocked at the lack of enthusiasm for the candidate with a 55% negative favorability rating.

  24. Is that red fire retardant dropped from planes during wildfires safe for humans and the environment?

    While some say the pink gel is effective at slowing the spread of wildfires, others wonder if its use has long-lasting effects on the environment.

    Most agree that the chemical is not harmful ? at least not to humans and other mammals ? even though it can cause quite a mess. However, studies show it may be lethal to aquatic life in lakes, creeks or rivers and scientists more recently are concerned about lingering effects of retardant on trees and chaparral during the current drought, which has made scarce the cleansing rains that can wash the chemicals away.

    Let the fires burn.

    1. Of course, the bigger forest fires are mostly caused by a century+ of putting out the smallest of fires instead of allowing natural burns periodically.

      1. Yes, frequent brush fires and forest fires are natural in most areas, in fact species such as Pitch Pine require fires to reproduce. The natural burns actually clear out the accumulation of underbrush and prevent massive fires from developing which feed on years of accumulated underbrush due to fire suppression.

        1. The Fed policy euphemisms aren’t very abstract.

  25. Redheads are more fun and brunettes most trustworthy, say women

    REDHEADS are likely to have the most fun, but can be the least trustworthy, according to Britain’s women.

    Girls with light brown locks are the most trusted, followed by those with black hair, then dark brown and blonde.

    And redheads are more likely to be called Amy, Molly and Sarah and work as a hairdresser or barmaid, said new research out today.

    New hair colour removal brand Colourless quizzed 400 women and men on their perceptions of different hair colours, including which they thought most trustworthy, likely names and what jobs they thought most suited them.

    Redheads scored five out of 10 in the trustworthy stakes, behind a score of eight for both black-haired girls and those with auburn or dark brown hair.

    Girls with light brown hair scored nine out of 10 for trustworthiness – the highest – while blondes achieved a trustworthy score of seven.

    Girls with black hair are most likely to be called Victoria, Stacey and Michelle and work in an office as a PA or as an estate agent.

    Women with light brown hair are most likely to be named Louise, Grace and Jess and work in human resources or teaching, the research claimed.

    I’m only here for the slideshow

    1. These are the type of links we need more of: broad sweeping generalizations of women based on the color of their hair, as opposed to broad sweeping generalizations of women based on their vaginas. Also slideshows.

    2. Was there any control on whether the carpets matched the drapes?

      1. good question. I would also like to see some further information on their controls.

    3. Ginger girls have soul

      I stopped reading right there.

    4. Jesus. What happened to Laura Prepon?

      1. Aging. It’s the worst career mistake an actress can make.

        1. Looks good to me.

      2. Shirley Manson is holding up alright.

  26. President Barbie: “The Constitution is hard.”

    1. Where is the rest of this story?

      1. Doughnuts at work. Going into coma. BEETUS!

        1. Hang on, SF!

          *** tries to remember the number for 911 ***

          1. ***dials 666***

          2. The new emergency number

        2. Doughnuts?

          ::Calls SWAT team to notify them of huge stash of meth at SF’s workplace::


            1. “STOP RESISTING!!!”

            2. In that order. Good shoot.

              1. totality of circs!

    2. “Email is hard”

  27. Loud-mouth drunk jailed after he breached Britain-wide swearing ban

    A loud mouth drunk who was banned from swearing anywhere in Britain has been jailed – after he breached the ban.

    Homeless David Bellman was jailed for more than four months after breaking the criminal behaviour order (CBO) twice within a month of a court imposing it.

    Bodmin magistrates court had imposed the CBO after Bellman subjected people to a tirade of vile language and homophobic slurs.

    And the 44 year old was also prohibited from being drunk anywhere in public, by magistrates in Bodmin, Cornwall.

    He was given the three year long swearing ban after he was arrested for subjecting rail staff and passengers to the ‘tirade of abuse’ at Par train station a week ago – on the day he had been released from Exeter Prison.

    1. What the fuck is this shit?

      1. I just can’t with this one.

      2. ASPO FTW

    2. Homeless David Bellman was jailed for more than four months

      Well, he’s no longer homeless.

    3. Homeless dude just needed a place to stay.

    4. Telling a homeless guy he can’t swear or be drunk in public? What a shock he failed.

  28. The speech “lacked the poetic sweep of the President Barack Obama’s address Wednesday,” says CNN, “but it was in keeping with someone who presents herself as a practical, dogged, policy-oriented striver who gets knocked down and then gets straight back up.”

    Yeah! She doesn’t let the law stop her. How inspiring.

    1. I trust Trump will tweet something to this effect.

    2. Some disagree with the assessment in the links.

      How Hillary blew her big moment

      I’d quote the bad parts, but since it was almost all bad parts I couldn’t decide which one. I’d even quote the good lines to be fair, only there weren’t any. There were some passable ones, true, but citing them to praise them is like praising a pitcher with an 11.33 ERA for throwing a few strikes here and there over nine full innings.

      1. It’s funny how even her media sycophants are spitting out “damning with faint praise” pieces, similar to what was done with the new Ghostbusters movie. Pretty telling that both entities are using MUH VAGINUH to guilt people into supporting them.

      2. What’s really sad is that, of all the media sources they could have gone too in the links, they went with the second biggest hive of Hillary sycophants.

        Well, at least they didn’t subject us to MSNBC’s slobbering account.

  29. The Economist: The new political divide
    Farewell, left versus right. The contest that matters now is open against closed

    The wall-builders have already done great damage. Britain seems to be heading for a recession, thanks to the prospect of Brexit. The European Union is tottering: if France were to elect the nationalist Marine Le Pen as president next year and then follow Britain out of the door, the EU could collapse. Mr Trump has sucked confidence out of global institutions as his casinos suck cash out of punters’ pockets. With a prospective president of the world’s largest economy threatening to block new trade deals, scrap existing ones and stomp out of the World Trade Organisation if he doesn’t get his way, no firm that trades abroad can approach 2017 with equanimity.

    Countering the wall-builders will require stronger rhetoric, bolder policies and smarter tactics. First, the rhetoric. Defenders of the open world order need to make their case more forthrightly. They must remind voters why NATO matters for America, why the EU matters for Europe, how free trade and openness to foreigners enrich societies, and why fighting terrorism effectively demands co-operation. Too many friends of globalisation are retreating, mumbling about “responsible nationalism”

    1. Gosh! If one were to watch Brexit the movie, one would notice that all the beefs were related to the walls the EU was putting up.

      #why I no longer subscribe to the Economist

      1. Saw your link about Cohen. Thanks and…wow. Some strange stuff.

        1. Those of us who have been vacationing would like to know more.

          1. Remember John Taglieaferro and his hot asian sexbot named Suki and their erotic and orgasmic destruction of Iran?

            It’s kind of like that but simultaneously more pathetic and impressive.

            1. That’s wild.

              Remind me not to send links to my FBI acquaintances.

            2. +1 Longtorso

          2. You people are soooo needy. No, I will not curl up with you in a blanket!


            1. Didn’t refresh. Hence….whatever.

    2. I used to subscribe to The Economist too, relying on their staunch bro-market attitude to be able to rebias their news. But they gradually started adding a layer of pro-government-regulation, and then went full-retard on guns, full of moralizing and lecturing and nannying, and their bias became too unpredictable and too thick to reliably filter.

      1. Yeh, same here. They veered way too fat into left-tard territory. Plus they started giving prominent space to celebrities. Call me old fashioned but no.

        1. Someone told me once The Economist was a conservative magazine. I spewed an 8 foot trail of coffee and asked if they were serious.

          ….well, conservative for Britain anyways.

          1. At its roots it was classical liberal. An explanation from them:


            1. Imprecise wording on my part. By conservative I meant the way most people think of conservative economics – allegedly pro free market. Any time I’ve picked up an Economist mag I don’t have to go further than 2 articles before I find them advocating all sorts of government market intervention. I definitely think they be drinkin’ some statorade.

      2. Ditto. Their picture captions used to be HyR level snark.

        1. The Economist actually started its long downhill slide in the early 90s, the last time I subscribed to the print edition. I briefly tried a digital subscription back in the early Oughts, but dropped it in despair.

          I still have photocopied “Schools Briefs” going back to the early 80s in my files. There was a time when you could get a decent off-the-cuff education in economics just by reading and thinking about those articles. Those times are long dead, now…

      3. their staunch bro-market attitude

        Typo of the week.

  30. Feminist columnist Jessica Valenti quits social media after trolls threaten to rape her 5-year-old daughter

    “This morning I woke up to a rape and death threat directed at my 5 year old daughter. That this is part of my work life is unacceptable,” Jessica Valenti tweeted to more than 120,000 followers. “I am sick of this s–t. Sick of saying over and over how scary this is, sick of being told to suck it up.”

    “I can deal with a lot of things, I’ve taken a lot of abuse over the years. But my child? No,” Valenti continued. “Law enforcement needs to get their s–t together on online threats. Social media companies need to f—ing do something.”

    I am glad you are not giving these “trolls” the power they so desperately desire.

    1. She’ll be back…guaran -fucking -teed

    2. She’s got a new book. Just sayin’.

      1. Yeah this is just the SJW MO at this point. “IVE RECEIVED DEATH AND RAPE THREATS PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEE!”

        1. Yeah, let’s see the threat, and let’s see it reported to law enforcement to track down to confirm it was a real threat instead of just blowhardery.

          If its real, that is.

    3. I think half of modern feminist outrage stems from sheltered upper middle class women discovering the hard way that people are mean on the internet.

      1. People who enjoy being outraged seek out sources of outrage.

        1. Fortunately, they’re all scheduled to die of aneurysms by the time they’re in their mid-40s.

    4. I’ll take ‘Things that didn’t happen” for a thousand, Alec.

  31. Andrew McCarthy: The War on Cops Continues

    Several news services are reporting that one San Diego police officer has been killed and another badly wounded (but expected to survive) after a driver they pulled over late Thursday night opened fire on them. The suspected shooter is in custody. After an intensive manhunt in the city’s Southcrest neighborhood, the police department has indicated that they believe the shooter acted alone.

    The names of the police who were shot and the suspect have not yet been released.

    Fox News reports that the number of police officers fatally shot this year is already up 56 percent compared with last year, according to the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund.

    1. When it comes to law enforcement this is where I don’t read conservative places.

      They seem to focus less on the LAW and more on the ENFORCEMENT. It’s a problem to me.

      When you have jerk offs like French defending a violent act of aggression like that barbarian cop did throwing a student across a class room (being belligerent or mouthing off is not a reason to be body slammed or hurled across a room) you know they’ve gone faux tough guy enforcement. I’d like to see him get thrown around like that for whatever reason and see how he feels the little shit.

      1. Age: 57.

        Years of service: 2.

        That could have been some pension!

        1. How does someone who was deputized immediately before the incident accumulate two years of service?

          Because that wasn’t his first rodeo?

  32. Not hot enough…

    D.C. hasn’t fallen below 80 degrees in five days, nearing the longest period on record

    Since Saturday, the days have simmered and nights just haven’t cooled off much. Quietly, a heat wave of historic significance has blossomed in Washington.

    The temperature hasn’t been below 80 degrees since 6 a.m. Saturday (when it was 79). D.C. has posted 124 straight hours of temperatures 80 degrees or higher, encompassing more than five consecutive days (7 a.m. Saturday to 11 a.m. Thursday).

    This period at or above 80 degrees is the third longest in weather records dating to 1872. The longest period on record, which occurred July 15-21, 2013, spanned 138 hours. The second longest such period, 128 hours, occurred July 20 to 25 in 2011.

    1. True. Texas relatives are in town for a wedding and they’re all shvitzing like Airedales. I’ve been telling them that this is Maryland rejoining the South.

    2. Bullshit. I remember reading quite a number of historical accounts of the heat in DC. Lots of people throughout history have bitched about it.

      1. DC was built in a nasty, muggy swamp intentionally, so that no one would want to live there and congressmen would spend most of their time in their districts.

  33. Black Lives Matter chants interrupt one minute silence for fallen police officers – led by their grieving relatives – at the DNC

    This is going to be a thing that some people are going to try to make into a big thing. I could barely make out two people yelling something in the twenty second video.

    !!!!Daily Mail warning!!!!!

    1. seriously they were bitching about that on the radio this morning and it was only like two fucking people. Keep in mind that this event was being held in Philadelphia.

      1. Only two people, but BLM has explicitly popularized what I’ll call Westborough Baptist activism: overwrought, melodramatic, and often inappropriate demonstrations. It’s a decentralized movement, so the behavior of a couple knuckleheads in Philly doesn’t reflect on the broader movement, but it does tell you what MO the overall movement finds acceptable.

        Imagine if the Tea Party had done more than stage street-side demonstrations and election campaigns. Imagine if they had regularly taken over federal offices like the Bundys, all over the country, several times a year. It would be increasingly difficult to absolve the tea party movement for the actions of particular tea partiers.

        1. Imagine if tea parties stood athwart a gay pride parade to make demands, what if the tea partiers stormed the stage of a major presidential speaker and snatched his microphone. What if tea partiers were shutting down events of people they didn’t like, what if they were telling blacks to get to the back of the crowd?

          Every single day, BLM is doing stuff that’s even worse than the false accusations routinely lobbed at tea party events. But to criticize them is to be racist.

          1. *channels Napolitano*

    2. Maybe their definition of a “moment” is just a bit shorter than average.

    3. With incidents like this and hijacking an impromptu memorial in Orlando to throw a public tantrum, they can’t be winning over many converts.

  34. Water in Rio highly toxic. I mean, nothing can stop it toxic:


    1. “We just have to keep our mouths closed when the water sprays up,” Afrodite Zegers, a member of the Dutch sailing team that has been practicing in Guanabara Bay, told The Times

      Oh, no, Afrodite (great name, BTW) — you have to do *much* more than that.

      1. If they weren’t such pussies they’d just go home.

        1. Not impressed with Brazil.

          At all.

      2. “Afrodite Zegers”

        Sounds like the badass main character of a Dutch blaxploitation movie.

        1. awesome

    2. This wouldn’t happen if we had Socialism!

      Oh, wait…

  35. Chelsea Manning faces additional charges that could lead to indefinite solitary confinement after trying to commit suicide July 5.

    That’ll do wonders for his mental health.

    1. It always saddens me when I realize how many people are actively making the decisions behind the scenes to continually escalate the level of cruelty in situations like this. How much does the most powerful government in the world need to beat down this individual before that person’s level of suffering is sufficient? It’s not unique to this case either, this is just one example.

      1. They want to completely and totally break you everyday for the rest of your life, if for no other reason than they want to order their lunch on time that day.

        1. I guess I just don’t understand the mentality of a person who finds satisfaction from beating down an already beaten down and defenseless person. Like, I literally cannot understand it. It’s even stranger that we push those people into roles of authority and somehow not only interpret their cruelty as a public service, but make them believe they are serving us by being so cruel.

          1. It’s the reason that sociopaths and narcissists are attracted to government like a moth to flame.

    2. That dude was nuts long before he got to prison

  36. Has Donald Trump even read the US Constitution? Probably not. But aye, there’s the rub: Hillary has sworn an oath to uphold it, many times, and continues to use it to wipe her ass.

    I know which one is more dangerous to the rule of the law.

    1. At least she wipes front to back, right? RIGHT?!

      1. Sideways. By an ass-istant.

        1. *snaps fingers* “Huma! Wipe!”

      2. What difference, at this point, does it make?

    2. Hillary doesn’t wipe her own ass. That’s a job for Huma.

  37. In case you were wondering James O’Keefe is still an asshole.

    1. Soave got a shoutout.

    2. Like anyone needed to LARP as a Hillary supporter to see how unhinged Bern Victims are.

    3. Good line…”What the hell is a glass ceiling? I am trying to put food in my refrigerator.”

      1. I have to wonder who that guy voted for in 2008 and 2012.

  38. Thursday night’s DNC speeches featured the first openly transgender person, LGBT rights activist Sarah McBride, to speak at a major-party convention.

    These commas…

    First openly tranny DNC speaker? Okay so who was the first closeted tranny speaker? There’s a very reputable theory that Michelle Obama has a dick for what it’s worth.

  39. The most important news of the day

    Swedish bikini team goes all law and order on your ass

    1. I hope he’s a refugee…they’ll be reprimanded, they will publicly apologize, and told not to sunbathe from now on

    2. Thank you ma’am! May I have another!

    3. A pickpocket made the unwise decision to try to steal from a group of off-duty police officers, and the result was brilliantly captured in a viral Instagram picture shared by the Swedish police officer Mikaela Kellner, who tackled the rogue in her bikini.

      A pickpocket made the unwise decision… Mikaela Kellner… tackled the rogue in her bikini.

      Exactly how unwise was he, really?

      1. He’s got a hot woman in a bikini up against him and he can’t touch her or even himself. Sounds pretty unwise to me.

        1. A guy normally has to pay for that.

      2. Sounds like he stole her bikini. I wanna see that pic.

      3. Well, of all the women he could have robbed that day, he picked the one built like Arnold Schwarzeneggar.

        1. To be fair, he picked a Swede, he probably expected them to appologise for not having pre-emptively given over their money.

          1. He could only expect that if he is a third world migrant or the child of one.

    4. So . . . Jenny is a man’s name in Swedish?

      1. uh, Mikeala I mean. Must be Swedish for Michael.

  40. David Harsanyi: Gary Johnson Is Still Terrible On Religious Liberty
    The anti-libertarian libertarian.

    But religious freedom laws are narrowly focused, and they don’t permit people to “discriminate” on the “basis of religion.” They protect business owners of all faiths from the obligation to participate in activities that violate their conscience ? a slippery slope that doesn’t seem to bother Johnson one bit. Denying a Muslim American service (something Johnson, who once supported banning burkas, seems most concerned about) would still be against the law.

    Many liberals and journalists distort the intent and scope of religious freedom laws, but a libertarian should know better. You don’t have to agree with the religious liberty proponents, of course. You can view religious freedom as ugly prejudice ? something state-run justice commissions should monitor and forcefully expunged from American life. Plenty of people do. What I’m not sure of, though, is which libertarian idea justifies government policing thought crimes and undermining property rights? Johnson has yet to explain.

    1. I need to join a religion so I can get some of that special liberty they have.

      1. I may have an acolyte position opening up soon. Can you chant?

        1. Just because you’re planning a human sacrifice doesn’t make it “and acolyte position”.

      2. You HERETIC!

        *looks around for source of flame, fails to find any*

      3. We’re always open to new members at the Church of Beavis Christ

      4. I need to join a religion so I can get some of that special liberty they have.

        Choose carefully. Some have more liberty than others.

      5. I’m open to defining any organized system of ideas with deep influence on matters of conscience as a religion. Then we can push for separation of prog bullshit and state.

    2. Oh, where have you gone, Wayne Allen Root? The Libertarian Party needs you now more than ever.

      1. Hit and Run has ruined me. I saw this morning’s illustration of the NY Times editorial, and the first thing I think of is your literary escapades.


        1. It is a fairly horrifying notion, that she is merely the broodmother of dozens of tiny Hillarys all ripe to burst forth.

          1. Between this foto, and the tongue growth (I personally believe it’s a meatus for an intra lingual blood sucking proboscis) foto downthread, I am convinced beyond all convincing that Herself is the tangible mortal plane avatar of David Cronenberg’s sickest dystopian, utilitarian, phantasies.

            I’d hate to think that, “The Brood,” and, “Rabid,” were merely prophetic films foreshadowing our harbinger of visceral doom.

            1. “Meatus” has to be my favorite word that sounds like it should be dirty but isn’t.

            2. I mean, if Hillary turned out to have a fang-penis in her armpit, would anyone really be all that shocked?

              And wouldn’t there be a NYT editorial a few hours later about how brave it is that she grew a fang-penis?

            3. That picture of Hillary gawping with Obama is really disturbing. I can’t believe that . . . thing . . . on her tongue is a photographic artifact, so what the hell is it?

              And what is with the weird unhinged-jaw gawp that she does all the time?

              1. I dunno RC, the foto of the tongue isn’t as clear as I would like, and to tell the truth, I wouldn’t want to get close enough to examine it out of fear it’s a Cronenberg/O’ Bannon-esque ovipositor.

                As far as the unhinged jaw gawp, IMMO, it’s a combo of her meds and TMJ. I read the letter of medical certification her personal physician published on HillDawg’s website, but without detailed medical records, it’s really not terribly useful nor medically binding. “Excellent health,” doesn’t really tell us very much. (And FTR, HillDawg’s Dr. is both highly credentialed with a legit excellent reputation).

                To wit, if you were Candidate Dean, and I was your physician, anything that was suspect or any meds that I would not want to certify as to your overall health, I simply “doctor” your records by DC’ing any meds that may be… suspect… then write my certification letter. Then restart all your meds and note that any chronic conditions that resolved “have suddenly” manifested again.

                Otherwise, because of HIPAA and the fact that medical HX’s aren’t required to be public, strictly speaking, I can report anything I damn well please. What certified has to be truthful, but omission of key conditions are not considered fraudulent per se.

              2. And what is with the weird unhinged-jaw gawp that she does all the time?

                To clarify on the meds aspect, doing that “jaw thing” is similar to tardive dyskinesia, part of a battery of uncontrolled facial movements called “extra pyrimidal effects”, and there have been a number of drug linked root causes for this, as well as a number of discrete disease etiologies.

                Anti-psychs, scopolomine, and a number of other meds have been linked to these “psuedo-parkinsonian” type S/S.

                Honestly, the best people to answer this are her: Personal Physician, Pharmacy, and Insurance (unlikely she is carrying a policy at this point, and simply paying cash so no reporting to an underwriter for a discrete policy – I’ll bet my left testicle the Crime Family Foundation is paying out for medical costs for The Clintons indirectly). And you can be *quite sure* none of these folks will be loose lipped and possibly sink her ship.

          2. I’ve been saying that for years. Now every photograph in my house has a snarling black dog in it, and day by day they all move closer to the frame.

        2. The actual editorial is far more disgusting than anything SF could come up with.

          1. Agreed. I’m just a piker compared to her worshippers.

    3. For some reason, the people who support this forced service laws never agree that they should be required to bake me a cake in their kitchen.

      1. They would if they knew how, but skills are for the lower classes.

    4. Look, the Bill of Rights has all sorts of rights, freedom of religion is only one of these, and the Founders probably put it in by accident. After all, religion is silly and irrational, so really I don’t see why we’re even worried about the rights of religious people.

      Why hassle Johnson about this? I’m sure he supports all the *other* rights in the Bill of Rights.

      What are you, some kind of fanatical purist?

  41. Jerry Doyle gone? RIP Meester Garibaldi.

    1. Indeed, Pro’L Dib; Ivanova’s elevator stalker has made his final security sweep.

    2. R.I.P. And yikes, B5 has a lot of deceased cast members for a show that’s not that old….

    3. I liked that he was a Daffy Duck fan. And that his character wore jeans when at the bar off duty. Star Trek always had costumes that looked like footie pajamas, but seriously, people will be wearing blue jeans far into the future.

      1. but seriously, people will be wearing blue jeans far into the future.

        They will? Why?

        Why was some alien listening to Public Enemy and the Beastie Boys in the latest Trek movie? Yes, they made the ‘classical music’ joke, but that’s just it–classical music has a very limited listenership–what does THEIR society listen to? What clothing styles do THEY wear?–we know they don’t go traipsing around in garb from Ancient America like a bunch of Eugenics Wars Re-enactors.

  42. Hillary Clinton accepted the Democratic presidential nomination and became the first female presidential candidate for a major party

    The predominant narrative really wants us to accept the “historic” nature of the nomination. Geraldine Ferraro was a bigger deal, given the dim acceptance of feminism in ’84.

    1. “Historic” as an adjective when they’re trying to imply “great” pisses me off. Everyone who wins the presidency is historic.

    2. If Trump wins, I wonder if we will be treated to stories about the historic defeat of the first woman candidate blah blah.

  43. Shit, looks like Model 7B-97L6 started malfunctioning, again.

    Roll out the back-up replicant.

    Didn’t someone mention yesterday that Matt Drudge has an unusually vast collection of awkward Hillary pics?

  44. First Beyond and now Bourne is getting a welcome reception? Is it possible sequels don’t always have to suck?

  45. BTW, has anyone figure out what the hell that thing on Hillary’s tongue is?

    1. Possibly a carcinoma?

      1. I was thinking it was a burn left after taking communion.

        1. zing!

      2. PossiblyHopefully a carcinoma?


        1. Only a bastard would contemplate with enjoyment the prospect of her having her tongue amputated….

          1. “The cancer has spread. We’ll have to amputate the whole head in order to save her cankles.”

    2. I wondered that. It looks like a tongue piercing that got infected.

    3. that image looks so photoshopped…yet they couldn’t even try to make her look less like an evil alien robot?

      1. I don’t think it’s photoshopped. Just the close up of a grab.

    4. Battery slot?

    5. I can’t get past that maniacal face reminiscent of The Joker.

      A passage hole to her black soul and then to hell?

      1. If there’s anything that the Tea Party has taught the world, it’s that drawing a Joker’s face on someone is racist.

    6. Read Charles Stross’s The Apocalypse Codex. That’s obviously the attachment site for the Divine Isopod, but the Host is invisible due to having cast a Class 5 Glamour.

    7. Hopefully Groovus can cruise by and give us a diagnosis.

      1. Not enough moolah in the world for me to get close enough…

        In all serious, based on the foto, I would venture a superficial tongue lesion, AKA, and I shit you not, “Hairy tongue” (or “coated tongue”); it’s a build up of keratinised cells, essentially a callous of sorts. I doubt Huma has anything to do with this (squick!)

        My suggested TX: Either kill it with fire, or nuke if from orbit. Just to be sure.

  46. MTV launches MTV Classic — will play actual music videos!

    Just kidding. It won’t actually. Mostly the crazy 90s era programming that was awesome.

    1. Even if they did play music videos, eventually reality tv creep sets in, and minute by minute it would erode back into situation where the only music you hear is on the ample supply of commercials. But I don’t have cable. I have everything that was awesome in the 90’s saved on my data hub.

      1. awesome in the 90’s


        1. 90’s Simpsons were fantastic. Seinfeld is good and if you don’t agree you’re a bad person. And uhh… ummm…. it’s a small file

        2. also early 90’s SNL is the golden era of that show as far as I’m concerned.

          1. damn you be young 😉

            1. It depends on how old you are. If you’re 50+, it’s the 70s SNL. mid-late 40s it’s the mid 80s. Those of us who are late Gen X’ers (late 30s-early 40s) revere the late 80s and early 90s SNL, which was so very awesome.

              1. 70s era SNL was only funny at the time because it was so different. The best bits form the 80s and early nineties are still funny today. Everything they’ve done in the last 20+ years is absolute shit.

            2. I am a whippersnapper. I’ve seen it all though. The 70s and early 80s stuff is good too, I will say. I just enjoy the antics of Chris Farley, Micheal Meyers and the rest. Even Dana Carvey was funny back then.

              1. WTF went wrong with Dana Carvey. He used to be funny.


        3. Some of Liquid Television. Some of Beavis and Butthead.

          1. But not Daria. Never Daria.

  47. Foreign Policy: Donald Trump Is the Peace Candidate

    It’s simple. Donald Trump is the only candidate we can count on to end 70 years of dangerous tensions with Russia ? the only candidate who is actively extending a hand of friendship to our longtime adversary. Where Hillary Clinton has mocked and criticized Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump has speculated that the Russian president might someday become his “new best friend.” Where Clinton once sneered that Putin “doesn’t have a soul,” Trump has compassionately noted: “It’s never been proven that he’s killed anybody.”

    1. True, but when you’re up against Hillary Clinton, I’m pretty sure even Chinggis Khaan himself becomes the Peace Candidate.

    2. Strangely, this seems to be true. I realize the article is a touch tongue-in-cheek, but for all his bluster Trump seems to be less interested in policing the entire world. Hillary, on the other hand, has actually advocated for and contributed to military engagement and real people being actually killed. And she did this as a politician with actual power. In a position where she could have chosen differently, she opted for violence, conflict, and foreign intervention. And did so without any real strategic vision.

      1. But, you know, she does have a vagina, so I guess she should just be president.

  48. “In the shadow of the Gigafactory, a new way to recycle batteries”
    “Aqua Metals, based in Alameda, threw an opening party Thursday for its first battery recycling center, separated from the Gigafactory by a few dusty hills.”
    http://www.sfchronicle.com/bus…..529299.php (may be pay-walled)

    Ignoring whether this might be a rent-seeking operation, there is a wonderful quote regarding CA:
    “”When we came up to Nevada, they said, ‘How can we help?'” Mould said. “In California, you put in your permit application, and six months later, someone tells you you filled out line 26 wrong.”

    1. Calling Dennis nee Gilmore to repost the Dennis tries to open a gym legally clip from The Wire.

  49. Chelsea’s speech last night broke my “fake sincerity” meter.

    1. She came across as a high functioning retard to me. Definitely sub 80 IQ.

  50. Turning a used car into a luxury car

    A 20-year-old beat up Hyundai SUV isn’t anyone’s idea of a dream car.
    But used Hyundai Gallopers, priced between $2,000 to $3,000 at second-hand car markets, are making a comeback — reborn as upwards $80,000 luxury vehicles at the hand of former furniture designer Henie Kim.

    1. Has it come to this? The CNN writer mentioned something called a handcrafted “transmission stick.” WTF??????

    2. I love it that this idea has succeeded.

    3. South Korean incomes are way up, they are now entering the era of pimping their rides.

  51. Biden to appear on “Law & Order SVU”

    Vice President Joe Biden plans to carry his message against sexual assault onto a television episode of the hit series “Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.”


    1. The show with the most corrupt law enforcement in existence…

      Seems fitting.

    2. “Show me on this Joe Biden action figure where the bad man touched you.”

      1. “Show me on this Joe Biden action figure where the bad man Vice President touched you.”

        I know, same difference.

  52. Is there anything global warming can’t do?

    Thirteen people have been hospitalized amid an outbreak of anthrax in western Siberia, the governor’s office of the Yamalo-Nenets autonomous region reported Thursday. Experts with the Russian Ministry of Agriculture believe the cause of infection is the thawing of the frozen carcass of a reindeer that died 75 years ago.

    1. If you can’t trust experts from the Russian ministry of agriculture, who (whom?) can you trust?

    2. If there is something it can do, thawing stuff out is probably it.

    3. Nobody really ever considers the damage done by the crazy STDs that Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer spread around.

    4. So they had anthrax in Siberia 75 years ago, but anthrax in Siberia is global warming’s fault?

  53. She’s the most qualified candidate EVER, you haterz.

  54. says CNN, “but it was in keeping with someone who presents herself as a practical, dogged, policy-oriented striver who gets knocked down and then gets straight back up.”

    So, she was just tubthumping?

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