AM Links: 84 Dead in French Terror Attack, Clinton Says We are at War with "Radical Jihadists," Trump Delays Veep Pick

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  • Je Suis Nice
    Pixinn.net via Wikimedia Commons

    The death toll in the terror attack in Nice, France now stands at 84, including 10 children. 

  • The atrocity was allegedly carried out by Tunisian-born French citizen Mohamed Lahouaiej Bouhlel, a 31-year-old delivery driver who had reportedly been "depressed" over his wife leaving him. He is accused of running his truck into a a dense crowd of people watching a Bastille Day fireworks celebration, plowing through the throngs for a mile before jumping out of the truck and opening fire on them.
  • Hillary Clinton told CNN in response to the attack, "We are at war against radical jihadists who use Islam to recruit and radicalize others in order to pursue their evil agenda."
  • The long-classified "28 pages" from a congressional report on 9/11, which purportedly include evidence that mid-level Saudi Arabian government officials aided the hijackers, could be released as early as today.
  • Donald Trump was reportedly set to announce Indiana Gov. Mike Pence as his running mate today, but has postponed the event where he was expected to do so. This is a huge complication for the Republicans, because Indiana law forbids candidates from running for two offices at the same time, and Pence would need to drop off the Indiana gubernatorial ballot by noon today for the party to replace him. 
  • Senate Democrats want "more transparency" when it comes to Iranian nuclear inspections

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  1. Senate Democrats want “more transparency” when it comes to Iranian nuclear inspections.

    I didn’t think Dems were allowed to say anything bad about the Iran nuke deal.

    1. Hello.

      Not Nice.

      Soooo, the Orlando guy did it because he was gay and this individual reacted to his wife leaving him, yet Hillary calls it an act of terror.

      This is all so sordid.

      1. Definitely his personal problems that caused it. Islam just doesn’t inspire it’s adherents to do things like this.

        1. That must be it. People aren’t complex beings with their own individual drives, incentives, fears and responses. Nope. Just automatons that you can easily program with a book.

          What single stimulus causes you to behave a certain way? No, not porn.

          1. Maybe he was given incorrect change at the grocery store. We may never begin to fathom why Muhammed drove a truck into a crowd and shot at people from time to time with his illegally obtained Ak-47 that he probably kept in the truck for shooting varmints. It’s a total mystery.

  2. This is a huge complication for the Republicans, because Indiana law forbids candidates from running for two offices at the same time, and Pence would need to drop off the Indiana gubernatorial ballot by noon today for the party to replace him.

    I think they might be able to call in a favor on that one from the current governor of Indiana.

  3. My English vocabulary size, according to this website, is 30,325. Whatevs.

    1. You don’t even speak English. You speak that weird New Zealand language, what’s it called, Kiwi.

    2. Whatevs.

      Make that *30,326*.

      1. 30 324.

        Technically, ‘whatevs’ isn’t a word.

        1. Totes.

          Although I understand that, at the higher scores, you will receive the compliment that you can create your own English words.

    3. Is that including your vast repository of sublime antipodean slang?

      1. too right mate. The non-slang words are handy, however, when i want to put on the dog

    4. “The antonym of compensate is…” hooking?

      1. tax?

    5. Iza gots me a foreteen.

    6. 30500. I English more betterer than all y’all.

    7. 30,500, top 0.01%

      Suck my perspicacity, bitches.

      1. 23K

        that’s what i get for serially reading Cormac McCarthy novels

        1. I got 24K. How? I guess I fucked up some of the later ones.

      2. Only two synonyms? I’M LOSING MY PERSPICACITY!

      3. You got the same score as me, huh. You know, i’m not even sure i LIKE English anymore.

        1. I think that’s just a perfect score.

          We are synonyms, bro.

          1. No homonym.

            1. I do, Cheese Man. I already do.

      4. Totally superfluous bullshit

      5. 30,150. Also, top .01%.

        We’ll rule the galaxy together, as father and son.

    8. Do you speak jive?

    9. 28925. Not bad for third language.

    10. Shit, missed one. 29,975

    11. 29275. At least they correctly called me Shakespeare. I do always get credit for someone else’s work.

    12. WHYCOME WHYCOME IS NO WORD????

    13. I haven’t seen anybody not in the top 5% of the population, and my friends are definitely not in the top 5% of the population.

    14. 29,800

      Not bad for an engineer.

    15. I did it the other day and was in the top 4%.

      *defenestrates self*

      1. You probably had to look that word up, you illiterate boob.

        1. I’ll admit that I did not know what the word meant until hearing it on a comedy podcast.

  4. This is a huge complication for the Republicans…

    Resisting the urge to spell huge differently here? Classy.

    1. They might have considered gargantuan and titanic as alternatives, Fist, but unfortunately none of them made it that far in the online vocabulary test for which IFH posted a link.

  5. Senate Democrats want “more transparency” when it comes to Iranian nuclear inspections.

    Package everything in cellophane.

    1. Something something glass houses.

  6. “We are at war against radical jihadists who use Islam to recruit and radicalize others in order to pursue their evil agenda.”

    Way to jump to conclusions, Cankles.

    a 31-year-old delivery driver who had reportedly been “depressed” over his wife leaving him.

    1. Way to jump to conclusions, Cankles.

      Yeah, I happened to be watching that live.

      She can’t fucking help herself.

      1. Be fair – if she hesitated at all they’d pounce on her for being soft on terror.

        1. Yes I was shocked she actually uttered those words. Trying to trump someone, she is.

          1. Meh, she is Hillary Clinton. It’s not as if she’s hesitant to engage in some war.

    2. Yes, we may never know the motives of Mohamed Lahouaiej Bouhlel, It is such a mystery. Nothing like this has ever happened before. No similarities to anything we could reasonably draw conclusions from.

      1. Did he really not leave any sort of note explaining his purpose? Is it obvious, given French-Tunisian relations, of which I’m ignorant? I’m assuming he and those who provided the guns and explosives had some sort of goal in mind.

        1. His marital counselor provided the guns and explosives. He was told not to use them as a sort of test. He failed and now his wife gets alimony. I really think investigators should pursue the marriage dynamic of this crime.

          1. Yes, clearly the religion of peace played absolutely no part in his actions.

      2. Marital problems. It’s just as likely it could have been anyone from any conceivable part of the population, except babies and small pygmy people that can’t reach the gas pedal.

      3. Gibbs: Find anything on his computer, Abs?

        Abby: No boss. Guy is squeaky clean. Spends most of his time reading the Koran and visiting websites hosted by various Mullahs around the world. He’s like an Islamic Ned Flanders. Other than using “K1ll the Gr8 Satan!” as his password, I’ve got nothing.

        Gibbs: Keep looking. Something will turn up. (cellphone rings)

        Gibbs: Talk to me Ziva.

        Ziva: We were searching his apartment and didn’t turn up anything other than an extensive collection of Islamic apocrypha writings and some divorce papers. In my country, our neighbors in Palestine are often very upset about their marriages or sexuality and sometimes their frustrations on us.

        Gibbs: Sounds plausible. Let’s bring those papers into the lab.

    3. France should just make it a crime (life sentence, no parole) to be named Mohammed. Seems like it would put a major dent in terrorism.

      1. That is an intriguing approach.

      2. Then they’ll need a new Bastille… oh.. ISWYDT….

      3. Can’t they just ban murder? Or trucks?

  7. Too lazy to follow Warty’s workout tips? Behold your future: Synthol freaks

    1. Why did I click on that

    2. why would my firewall let that through but the onion is blocked.

    3. I would like to thank my fellow commentators for warning me away from that link.

      Thank you, every one.

  8. Deputy fires ‘1 in a billion’ shot into suspect’s gun barrel

    Investigators say an off-duty Colorado sheriff’s deputy fired a bullet straight down the barrel of a suspect’s gun, a shot they called “one in a billion.”

    The detail emerged in a letter from prosecutors Wednesday announcing that Arapahoe County Deputy Jose Marquez was justified in shooting the attempted-robbery suspect, who survived. Marquez also was wounded in the January shooting and is still recovering.

    1. Meh. This happens all the time in the cinema.

      1. Only in Bollywood.

      2. Or as the Lone Ranger calls this, Tuesday.

    2. pffff… amateur

      I do that shit on COD errday *munches on Cheetos*

      1. Best animated gif I’ve seen. Previous champ was the fat FBI guy awkwardly climbing the unlocked gate.

      2. That was…..AWESOME.

      3. Isn’t there more? I swear I’ve seen one where he takes out the last guy with a flying kick that propels the handgun into his face.

    3. Until I see the bodycam footage, the gun misfired and the deputy planted the bullet.

  9. Nukemaps: for when you need to know if you’re in the blast zone

    1. Other effects: Humanitarian impact

      Good grief, ifh! What lists have you gotten me onto *now*?

      1. You knew the only way to win was not to play.

        1. +1 Wargames/Joshua.

  10. Minnesota alligator was not aggressive, its finder says, but sheriff’s office ‘appeared to think I was crazy’

    Fundingsland said when he was coming down the trail, he first saw two women with their bikes and he wondered what they were doing. He said they saw the alligator first and they didn’t know what to do. Fundingsland said he knew he couldn’t just leave it in the wild, thinking someone had let it go after realizing they could not care for it any longer. He called 911, thinking the sheriff’s office would contact the DNR. He waited along the trail for authorities to respond. While he waited, Fundingsland said the alligator laid on the trail and didn’t move much. He said it was not aggressive.

    Three sheriff deputies responded, along with a person from the Safari North Wildlife Park, located south off Highway 371. The sheriff’s office contacted the wildlife park to check to see if the alligator belonged to them, but it didn’t.

    1. medulla oblongata!

    2. So, the alligator didn’t belong to the Safari North Wildlife Park? It just lived in the wild in Minnesota? Sounds plausible.

      “No sir, we ain’t lost no gators.”

  11. “We are at war against radical jihadists who use Islam to recruit and radicalize others in order to pursue their evil agenda.”

    Whoa, Hilldawg actually talking about terrorism and Islam? Someone wants to be president all of the sudden.

    1. “I can call it whatever I want. “Bad guys”, whatever. I just choose to say ‘jihadists’ because no one else does!”

    2. Pretty well put actually. Giving Hildibeast props on something may be a first for me.

    3. I thought it was domestic/workplace violence — marital spat, and used his delivery truck for the attack.

  12. “who had reportedly been “depressed” over his wife leaving him.”

    Ban women? Or at least their freedom of choice right?

    1. They’re allowed to do that in Islam, but not drive, show their hair, etc?

      1. Yeah but if you set them on fire for doing it you get a citation and have to pay a fine to their family.

    2. So, a cuckterrorist?

      1. *rockets up onto feet – begins wild applause*

      2. *points to screen to share Brett’s comment, claps approvingly while nodding head*

  13. A porn star is not the new British prime minister

    Teresa May is not the new British prime minister. Theresa May is.

    Underwear model and adult actress Teresa May, whose Twitter handle is @realteresamay, has received congratulations on Twitter for her new political job. Her bio now reads “I am a UK Glamour model, not the Prime Minister.”

    I find it quite amusing how many people think I’m #TheresaMay the Prime Minister. Just shows how ignorant some people are.
    ? Teresa May (@RealTeresaMay) July 11, 2016

    Britons appear to be confusing her with Theresa May, the Conservative Party politician and former home secretary who took over Wednesday as the U.K.’s prime minister following David Cameron’s resignation.

  14. “MAH TITTAYS!” Newt screamed as he rushed toward Chris. He dropped his sword as he lunged and the two of them landed on the dirt floor of the arena, moobs locked in slippery combat.

    “You one of them boylovers?” Mike asked Mike as they circled one another. General Flynn laughed and fell forward on his sword, dead from a self-inflicted wound. The crowd cheered and gibbered.

    “Good win, Pence,” Trump said. “Solid victory. This makes you the leader.” Pence roared and held his gauntleted hands in the air in triumph.

    “He knows the other guys just killed himself, right? Like, he did nothing at all?” the hair asked.

    “You just have to shit all over everything, don’t you?” the hat shot back.

    “He’s running a victory lap around to fat guys struggled to slap each other to death with flab,” the hair observed.

    “And that’s how we are going to make America great again,” the hat said dreamily.

    1. The grunting and farting of Newt and Chris filled the arena as Mike stopped gloating. Their labored breathing and half-muttered curses got louder as the crowd quieted.

      “Look at them. So disgusting. Get up you two. Fight like men!” Donald yelled through the PA system.

      “I like watching men!” Mike screamed. “Fighting. I like watching men fighting!” he corrected himself.

      “Pence is so white he’s hard to look at,” the hat said.

      “He looks like the ghost of a mummy that died a second time,” the hair agreed.

      “Wait, wait,” Donald said. “Hold on. Stop fighting. We are suspending the selection process.”

      “No, the thigh-fuckers are mine! You said I could kill them! You said I could watch them die!” Mike screamed. His erection was bright purple.

      “There’s been a development,” Donald said. “Some pry Moon Base and Governor Fatbridge apart.”

      “What’s going on?” the hair asked.

      “Goddamn terrorists,” the hat said. “They stepped all over our big moment again.”

      1. Moon Base and Governor Fatbridge

        Excellent.

      2. “He looks like the ghost of a mummy that died a second time,” the hair agreed.

        *sighs in satisfaction*

      3. Way to other moobers. My tittays like this.

    2. …moobs locked in slippery combat.

      I threw up in my mouth.

    3. “MAH TITTAYS!”

      A war-cry for the ages

      1. NEEDZ MOAR SCHUMER.

    4. I don’t like the hat being credulous like this. I thought it and hair were meant to represent the cynical, weary Joey Baggadonuts everyman.

  15. …a 31-year-old delivery driver who had reportedly been “depressed” over his wife leaving him.

    Common sense wife control now on the table?

    1. When you outlaw wives, only outlaws will have wives. Which seems like a benefit, so I support this policy proposal.

  16. Hillary Clinton told CNN in response to the attack, “We are at war against radical jihadists who use Islam to recruit and radicalize others in order to pursue their evil agenda.”

    And she intends to open the borders to bring the war to us.

    1. Mofo is hard at work right now bringing them here into small town America so evil white suburbanites can be equal opportunity victims just like the city dwellers.

    2. Looks like the Democrats didn’t learn anything from the last civil war.

  17. You call that a scalpel? This is a scalpel!

    Australian man admits to amateur testicle surgery

    Allan George Matthews, 56, admitted to “removing tissue” from the man “without consent or authority” at a motel in Port Macquarie, north of Sydney.

    Police said the 52-year-old victim posted an online ad “requesting assistance with a medical issue”.

    He had been suffering for years after being kicked in the groin by a horse.

    Police became aware of the case in June when the man attended hospital after the wound he suffered during the operation became infected.

    Officers raided Matthews’ home and seized medical equipment, firearms and four bottles of what they suspected to be amyl nitrate.

    1. When a game of knifey-spooney goes wrong.

      1. “Let’s go double or nothing.”

    2. this is not a lucky man

  18. who had reportedly been “depressed” over his wife leaving him.

    Is this the sort of bullcrap the scum in the JournoList is going to shovel on us after every attack from here on out?

    Oh, and I thought Tunisia was one of the “good” “Arab Spring” countries.

  19. Police kill gunman after he fires on officers in West Baltimore

    A gunman with an AR-15-style rifle opened fire on four plainclothes police officers in an unmarked car Thursday night in West Baltimore, police said.

    Two of the officers shot back and killed the man outside apartments on Winchester Street in Bridgeview-Greenlawn.

    The officers were drawn to the apartments on the 2300 block by reports of gunfire. Police said the man was shooting before they arrived about 9:30 p.m., then turned his rifle on the officers.

    Into Friday morning, police were investigating whether the tactic was an attempt to lure police. The officers weren’t injured, and no other victims were found.

    1. police were investigating whether the tactic was an attempt to lure police

      Now police are going to stop responding to reports of “shots fired” in West Baltimore.

      1. It’s West Baltimore, they have to pick their response incidents anyway.

    2. A gunman with an AR-15-style rifle…

      Uh huh.

      1. I’m buying a rifle. If a certain Democrat wins, she just might have enough political capital to put in a retarded ban of some sort.

        1. If a certain Republican loses in a manner that happens to damage the rest of the ticket, I would probably be able to pull the political capital from between my couch cushions.

  20. …plowing through the throngs for a mile before jumping out of the truck and opening fire on them.

    Phew. I was afraid we wouldn’t be able to use this for gun control purposes.

    1. If guns were legal in France someone could have taken him out before he killed so many people. This attack is the single best argument against the gun grabbers.

      1. I’m in favor of good guys with guns, and they have saved many lives, but it seems like taking out a guy in a moving truck would be pretty difficult.

        1. Depends on your gun. A windshield can change the trajectory of a bullet more than most realize and the steeper the angle of the glass the more it changes. That truck had a pretty large vertical shield so it might not be that hard to hit the guy if y ou have something more powerful than a .380acp

          1. Not to mention the usual rigmarole of accuracy declines greatly in unpredictable and high stress situations, advancing targets can be generally harder for people to hit, the general chaos of people fleeing and bloody carnage can make tough shots impossible, etc., etc. for people raised outside gun culture.

            1. None of which should be misconstrued as reasons relinquish people of their right to defend themselves as they see fit.

          2. Yeah, as much as I agree with the concept, the chances of success here were fairly low.

            A truck going 40 MPH on a crowded street? Good luck with that.

        2. Agreed, though it might be enough to startle the guy and get him to make a mistake or stop (especially since he was prepared to return fire). Do we know yet why he ultimately came to a stop?

          1. Ahh, or not. What I’m reading now is he accelerated once the first police started shooting at him.

            And a motorcyclist tried to get close and open the door to stop the guy, and got crushed. Jesus.

        3. …but it seems like taking out a guy in a moving truck would be pretty difficult.

          SO PEOPLE SHOULD BE DENIED THE CHANCE TO TRY. FUTILE RIGHTS ARE NO RIGHTS I CHERISH.

  21. Meet the 102-Year-Old Texas Driver Who Just Renewed Her License

    Helen Maddox passed her driver’s licence renewal test yesterday and told ABC News that while she does not drive much, she loves the independence a license allows her.

    “I don’t want to drive because there are too many crazy people driving these days,” Maddox said, “but I want to be independent and if I need to drive I can. I have a Cadillac.”

    The centenarian told ABC News she was born on July 28, 1914, the day World War I started. She started driving in her early teens.

    “I was driving when I was 13 or 14, we didn’t have to have drivers licenses at that time. You could just drive,” Maddox said.

    1. “I don’t want to drive because there are too many crazy people driving these days,”

      Cue French truck.

    2. “I was driving when I was 13 or 14, we didn’t have to have drivers licenses at that time. You could just drive,” Maddox said.

      And nobody survived, obviously, because the beneficent hand of the DMV was not there to regulate.

      1. She’s probably the last survivor. There can be only one.

      2. Many years ago I met a man who was telling us young folk about the time his state started issuing driving licenses. He told us that he and his friends were teenagers back then, and they had to meet with one of the state troopers who had been tasked with testing would-be divers. The test went something like this:

        Trooper meets with teens. Has one teen drive around a bit.
        Trooper: “You drive well. You pass.”
        Trooper looks over remaining teens. “Do the rest of you fellas drive as well as him?”
        Teens: “Yes, Sir.”
        Trooper: “Good. You all pass.” Fills out appropriate paperwork.

        The gist was that the troopers thought it was an unnecessary level of bureaucracy and a complete waste of their own time.

        1. I know not everything was great back then but this would have been pretty fucking great.

    3. Nice math, ABC

    4. “I was driving when I was 13 or 14, we didn’t have to have drivers licenses at that time. You could just drive,” Maddox said.

      Nonsense. It’s impossible to get around without the Department of Motor Vehicles and the Department of Transportation. Can’t be done. Why, could you imagine how many deaths and traffic accidents America would have every day without all of our life-giving sensible regulations?

  22. So after last night, the Democrats are talking about a tragic truck crash and the Republicans are planning religious tests for citizenship.

    I’m beginning to think that a life in Warty’s basement may be acceptable as compared to a life in the real world.

    1. You could move to Germany – where they aren’t allowed to talk about it at all.

      http://gatesofvienna.net/2016/…..n-germany/

      1. Never said they shouldn’t be able to talk about it. Just that I hate them al for it.

      2. I guess some people still think bringing jihadis into the countries of the west is a good idea. These people are what I like to call “out of their fucking minds.”

        1. I believe the technical term is Enemies of the People.

      3. Germany is trying to hard to distant itself from its Nazi legacy.

        1. That’s why they make it illegal to criticize people that want to exterminate the Jews.

          1. They continue on this path they’re gonna make Germany illegal!

            Then again, the idea of liberty as conceived by the English and Americans is alien to continental Europeans so it’s not that surprising. Progressivism, after all, that is, a society run by “experts” is a German idea.

    2. life in Warty’s basement

      ‘Dying Aint’ Much of A Livin’, Boy

      1. +1 Josey Wales

    3. So after last night, the Democrats are talking about a tragic truck crash…

      What Cankles is doing is following the Hit and Run yokel contingent. A guy goes nuts because of domestic difficulties, and that’s somehow tied to jihadism and more Forever War. “LOOK, A MOOSLIM!!!! REFUGEES!!!! PISS PANTS!!!!”

      1. Sure. This stuff happens all the time with bad breakups. Nothing to see here, more along. Don’t run, we are your friends.

      2. Domestic difficulties don’t smuggle guns and explosives into a country.

        1. You’ve obviously never gone through a marital rough patch.

          1. Her leaving him is a bit more than a “rough patch.” And Frenchies tend to be excitable.

          2. Cripes, do the divorce lawyers end up in Interceptor body armor?!

        2. Yeah that might be more believable if the guy just went nuts with a truck.

        3. Perhaps his marriage difficulties stemmed from his increasing radicalism and not the other way around. Just a thought.

          1. “Honey, want to go for a ride? Just push those grenades to the side.”

      3. The explosive-laden truck kind of gets in the way of the girlfriend trouble narrative.

        1. There seem to be reports that the guns and explosives were fake.

          This is why you wait for info to come in before pushing a narrative.

    4. While religious tests for citizenship goes too far, immigration is a privilege, and one that should not be extended to people who believe that the government should be overthrown and replaced with a theocracy that would be murderously hostile to 99% of the current residents of the nation. Yes, enforcing a rule regarding political beliefs can never be perfect, but if you do happen to catch an immigrant on video saying “Sharia Rocks!” or whatever, it reasonable to earn a lifetime ban from the US.

      1. Yep. Last night Gingrich was talking about support for Sharia Law – technically a political system – being the test.

        I’m shocked he’s not Trump’s VP.

      2. Sharia Law can mean different things to different people, though, so that’d be hard to enforce. A Quranist who rejects Hadith and “believes in Sharia” has a wholly different idea on law and society than a Wahhabi with their Hadiths and extremism.

        Hell, in matters of warfare, I think we could actually benefit as a nation from implementing the understanding of Sharia as understood by the Quranists or Ahmadiyya in matters of war, as those two groups think the only valid casus belli under Sharia is wars of defense or wars in response to the enemy breaking treaties, which is a MUCH better standard for war than the current model of adventurism and nation-building.

  23. sexual euph… er never mind…

    Libertarian Gary Johnson is neck-and-neck with Donald Trump among millennials in new survey

    Hillary Clinton’s lead over Donald Trump among millennials who are likely to vote has shrunk by more than 10 percentage points in the past few months, according to a new poll by the Harvard Institute of Politics.

    Perhaps even more surprising is that Libertarian Party nominee Gary Johnson is running neck-and-neck with Republican Trump among multiple groups of voters ages 18-29, the poll found.

    The poll’s findings on millennials’ feelings about capitalism and the most important factors in their vote will be released by the institute next week.

    1. So it’s Hillary 96%, Trump 2% and Johnson 2%?

  24. Tech execs, investors slam Trump

    In the open letter, published on The Huffington Post and Medium, the collection of industry leaders say Trump “traffics in ethnic and racial stereotypes” in his opposition to immigration reform. They knock the presumptive GOP nominee for his idea of “shutting down” the internet to address security threats. And they criticize Trump for failing to laying out much of a tech agenda, saying he “articulates few policies beyond erratic and contradictory pronouncements.”

    “We have listened to Donald Trump over the past year and we have concluded: Trump would be a disaster for innovation,” they write. “His vision stands against the open exchange of ideas, free movement of people, and productive engagement with the outside world that is critical to our economy ? and that provide the foundation for innovation and growth.”

    Others signing the letter include Stacy Brown-Philpot, the CEO of TaskRabbit; Vint Cerf, one of the founders of the internet; Reed Hundt, a former chairman of the FCC; David Karp, the founder of Tumblr; Vinod Khosla, the founder of Khosla Ventures; and Ron Klain, the executive vice president of Revolution.

    You know who else trafficked in ethnic and racial stereotypes….

    1. Comedians? By which I mean Jews.

    2. Certain Reason commenters?

      1. By which you mean Jews.

      2. (((Ahem)))

    3. David Karp, the founder of Tumblr

      Tumblr has less class than Trump, fella.

    4. Dr Seuss?

    5. Progressives?

    6. These open letters are lame.

    7. Yet they take no issue with the tech savvy dem nominee. My shocked face this is.

    8. Walter Plecker?

    9. And they criticize Trump for failing to laying out much of a tech agenda

      “Wipe it? Like with a cloth?”

  25. 91-year-old woman fills in crossword at museum – only to discover it was a ?60,000 artwork

    1. Now it’s a ?100,000 artwork thanks to her improvements.

      1. Right? The art is much better now. It has a story.

    2. “Nevertheless, as a state museum couldn’t avoid making a criminal complaint. ”

      Is this missing a word?

    3. “We will let the lady know that the collector took the damage to the work in good humour, so she doesn’t have a sleepless night.”

      She’s 91. She sleeps like a baby.

      1. Yeah, but only for like 4 or 5 hours a night.

    4. Next to the work is a sign which reads: “Insert words”.

      I’m surprised this didn’t happen sooner

    5. Look, artists, I’m just gonna throw this out here, but if you make an “work of art” that LITERALLY is an Empty Crossword with the words “Insert Words” next to it, you are ASKING for someone to deface it. And any art museum that DISPLAYS your work and appraises it for 90,000 euros is CLEARLY just attempting insurance fraud.

  26. The long-classified “28 pages” from a congressional report on 9/11, which purportedly include evidence that mid-level Saudi Arabian government officials aided the hijackers, could be released as early as today.

    Well, it ain’t gonna be released on a Monday.

    1. Yeah, today is the perfect day to release that what with the Nice attack and the Days of Rage protests.

  27. SwagBot is the world’s first robot cowboy, built to roam the rugged Australian terrain.

    With all due respect, that looks like something my friend and I cobbled together in elementary school.

    Perhaps ifh would care to weigh in on this.

    1. looks like something my friend and I cobbled together in elementary school.

      Really? I don’t see all the vaginas you had installed on yours.

      1. “Like”, as in “similar” or “reminiscent”.

        Anyway, you promised not to tell!

  28. Charlie Sykes ?@SykesCharlie 9m9 minutes ago Milwaukee, WI
    Beyond parody: this is the headline in today’s Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel

    Truck Targets French Revelers

    1. COMMON SENSE TRUCK CONTROL

    2. I think that was the plot of a Stephen King novel?

      1. The novel was about a car. The one with the trucks in it was a short story.

        1. Your mom was a short story.

          1. Also done by Stephen King.

        2. Made into a totally awesome movie starring Emiliooooooooooo…..

          1. And Lisa Simpson gets killed.

        1. That reminds me of The Car.

          Honk.

    3. The gun discharged, the truck rampaged. Seems legit.

    4. No idea as to the “trruck’s” motives. Maybe it was low on diesel, or needed an oil change.

      1. It was high on those evil fossil fuels.

  29. The atrocity

    Finally, thank you for not calling it a “tragedy”

    “We are at war against radical jihadists who use Islam to recruit and radicalize others in order to pursue their evil agenda.”

    as opposed to peaceful jihadists?

    1. As opposed to complacent jihadists, I think.

      1. Now there’s an idea for a one-minute comedy video. The Lazy Jihadists.’

        Why must Abdul procrastinate?
        Is it depression
        Or plain gay repression
        Or his Pokemon obsession?

        He’s the Lazy Jihadist!

        /Abdul looks into camera. Smirks. Shrugs.

        1. We are the jihadists who don’t do anything,
          We just stay at home and lie around
          And if you ask us to do anything, we’ll just tell you:
          “We don’t do anything.”

  30. “We are at war against radical jihadists who use Islam to recruit and radicalize others in order to pursue their evil agenda.”

    But the moderate Jihadists aren’t so bad. That’s why we need to focus on real threats to security, like Bashar al-Assad and climate change.

    1. This was probably caused by Climate Change, because warmer weather and fossil fuels or something.

        1. He’s not wrong. He’s also not exactly right.

  31. I understand that the French are about to ban any showing of Maguerite Duras’s “Le Camion.”

  32. “We are at war against radical jihadists who use Islam to recruit and radicalize others in order to pursue their evil agenda.”

    Radical jihadists who radicalize others in order to radically pursue their radical agenda.

    1. Radical!

    2. Needs more synergies

    3. I tried to be too clever by half and the squirrels shut me down. Would be nice if the preview button would return to working at least 12.5% of the time.

      Here’s the non SugarFree’d link:
      https://www.topatoco.com/graphics /00000001/rb-kingradical-print.jpg

  33. “… Mohamed Lahouaiej Bouhlel, a 31-year-old delivery driver who had reportedly been “depressed” over his wife leaving him. ”

    Uh huh. And Omar Mateen was just a self-hating gay. You better get the goddamned smoke out of your eyes Anthony.

    “You can deny reality, but you cant deny the consequences of denying reality.”

    1. DON’T JUST REPORT THE FACTS, RUSH TO SOME FUCKING CONCLUSIONS, ANTHONY!

  34. From around a mile and a half from my house:

    A man whose body was being eaten by alligators in a canal nearly seven weeks ago has been identified by authorities.

    The Broward County Medical Examiner’s Office identified the dead man as Jean Jeunne, 63, possibly from Miami.

    Officers armed with AR-15 rifles protected police divers from alligators that lurked nearby as the remains were removed from the waterway. The body was unclothed.

    “At this time, it is unclear what caused this man’s death,” Engle said. The agency is awaiting a cause of death to be found by the medical examiner’s office.

    1. If he was eaten by alligators, wouldn’t he just be alligator poop now?

      1. Sometimes they twist limbs off and eat them separately, so he could be partially eaten, and/or journalists are tardz.

    2. “At this time, it is unclear what caused this man’s death,” Engle said

      Just another official too cowardly to come out and directly blame Radical Islam.

      1. The gators were all named Mohammed.

    3. Cause of death: being Florida Man, engaging in Florida Man activities

      1. We’re like Disney Australia. Not everything is trying to kill you, but lots of things are.

      2. “We fat all creatures else to fat us, and we fat ourselves for maggots. Your fat king and your lean beggar is but variable service?two dishes, but to one table.”

        1. “A man may fish with the worm that hath eat of a king, and eat of the fish that hath fed of that worm.”

          1. That’s why we catch and release

          2. True story: For two years after hurricane Camille and Katrina south Louisianians wouldn’t eat crabs.

    4. Officers armed with AR-15 rifles protected police divers from alligators that lurked nearby as the remains were removed from the waterway.

      No one needs that kind of military grade fully automatic firepower.

    5. And yet Disney was shocked that alligators might attack a guest. That sort of thing never happens in Florida.

  35. The long-classified “28 pages” from a congressional report on 9/11, which purportedly include evidence that mid-level Saudi Arabian government officials aided the hijackers, could be released as early as today.

    Emphasis added. Pet peeve: This is bullshit “news”. It *could* have been released yesterday; it *could* never be released.

    *** awaits rebuttal ***

    1. “could be released as early as today.”

      On a Friday. Imagine that.

      1. 15 years after the fact.

  36. The other night I watched Straw Dogs (1971) with Dustin Hoffman.

    Some thoughts:

    The *rape scene is quite disturbing in this movie – with the main character’s wife seeming;y enjoying it toward the end. And then another yob joins in and it gets even more uncomfortable. The feminist caterwauling, if this scene was released today, would be tremendous.

    Dustin Hoffman, playing a bookish gentle sort, really get vicious in the end of the movie – which is the best part – using wire, hot boiling oil, and even a bear trap against his attackers.

    Sam Peckinpah was a genius – a drunken and erratic one – but he captures violence in a non-glamorous manner, making it feel real and shocking.

    *I tend to scan through these scenes, like the rapes in Clockwork Orange and Death Wish.

    1. Let me recommend Soldier Blue.

      1. And The Getaway, Steve McQueen at close to peak of Steveness. Also from a novel by Jim Thompson, master of the pitch black crime novel. (Even if the movie pulls its punch at the end.)

        1. Co-starring a sexy Sally Struthers.

          1. doing her little dance with the headphones.

    2. There is a story about Peckinpah watching dallies during Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid with Kris Kristofferson and Bob Dylan – on Dylan’s first day on the set of any movie – and when Peckinpah did not like what he saw he stood up on a chair and urinated on the screen.

      That guy.

      1. Kristofferson.

        I think he’s mentioned in 70% of wiki entries.

    3. Irreversible

      If you’re looking for that kind of thing.

      Oh, and Justin Bieber’s Believe. It rapes you.

    4. Whats with the 1970’s and vicious rape-revenge movies? There’s an inextricable link between the two.

  37. So Pokemon Go invaded my business parking lot last night. Dude with his kids at 2:50AM chasing down some stupid bunch of pixels.

    1. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

      1. They were up close to the fence with their phones when the cop showed up. Arms went straight into the air.

        1. They knew they done wrong.

    2. It’s always cool to hear that families are playing together. My little brother (He’s moving in with me for college this year) and I ran around hunting pokemon together last night. We ended up seeing a lure drop across town, and this led to hopping in the car and him driving while I juggled both our phones to catch everything that popped on the way.

      1. everything that popped on the way.

        Nevermind.

      2. These… these euphemisms… they’re getting… getting…

  38. More evidence that Trump is actually a Hillary Plant: Two least popular officials in FL to speak at Republican Convention.

    Gov. Rick Scott and Attorney General Pam Bondi will deliver prime-time speeches at Donald Trump’s Republican National Convention in Cleveland next week.

    1. Rick Scott is surely the least popular, but those two are nothing if not ambitious.

      1. I get it. This will cause all the FL Dems to shout “Skeletor is evul!1” and “Bondi is a whore!” and then the Republicans will show up to vote. Its just sad.

  39. Erica Garner (Eric Garner’s eldest daughter) was going off on twitter last night with regards to Obama’s dog and pony show on ESPN/ABC last night.

    officialERICA GARNER ?@es_snipes 16h16 hours ago
    I need all of you to know that this #ABC town hall that will air at 8pm is a sham. They shut out ALL real and hard questions

    officialERICA GARNER ?@es_snipes 14h14 hours ago
    I speak for myself and many others from the movement for Black lives when I say we wereused n I don’t endorse what happened today on #abc !

    officialERICA GARNER ?@es_snipes 14h14 hours ago
    I went there trying to represent THE PEOPLE… #ABC wanted ratings even if it meant they had to profit from Black misery and oppression.

    1. Didn’t ESPN laughably try to claim they don’t want to be involved in political controversy when they fired Schilling?

      ROFLMAO. That once great channel should rename themselves MSNBC2.

      1. They’re so fucking full of shit I can’t even listen to them anymore. Same when they fired Cowherd. One of the higher ups wrote on Twitter the usual drivel about how they’re committed to ‘diversity’ and crap like that.

        Sports writers and talk show hosts are so fucking banal when it comes to politics it’s irritating. Stick to fucking sports.

        The other day I heard Le Batard introduce Coates as ‘no one does it better than…’ Clearly Dan is either told to say that or he’s just not trying hard enough where matters of intellectualism are concerned.

        1. Progressivism requires it’s bannermen to conquer every aspect of popular culture.

    2. I saw that at the gym last night, assumed it was MSNBC and realized it was ESPN. WTF are they doing?

      At this point I’ve stopped watching anything on ESPN unless it’s a game I care about.

      1. At this point I’ve stopped watching anything on ESPN unless it’s a game I care about.

        I can barely even stand that, as their announcers are terrible.

      2. I listen to LeBatard because it’s funny and aloof. But change the channel when he brings on idiots like Nye and Coates.

    3. And why does everyone on ESPN look and talk liked used car salesmen?

      1. It’s too bad ESPN rules sports broadcasting.

        1. I don’t understand why they can’t be challenged in the marketplace, especially when their product is so flawed.

          1. This time of year I watch the MLB channel for sports news I care about unadulterated by shit like soccer. In a couple of months I will be watching FoxSports since they do a decent job with college football and the NFL channel.

            I don’t miss ESPN at all.

          2. They’re on every tv with cable. They have the contracts with the sports leagues. Fox and NBC’s lineups don’t exactly intimidate them

          3. Barriers to entry and cronyism.

      2. Because that was their last job

  40. So when will we get the calls for common sense car control?

    1. It was a truck, nobody is trying to take away your car. Just dangerous assault trucks.

      1. Nobody needs a truck with a capacity over 10 tons

        1. When will this country have a serious dialogue about assault trucks?!

  41. Democrats ‘freaked out’ about polls in meeting with Clinton

    “Some people were freaked out, they were looking down at the polls on Real Clear Politics and asking why it was so close,” said a Democratic senator who attended the meeting, referring to a website lawmakers were checking out on their personal devices.

    Clinton’s response?

    “She said there are other issues. People are unhappy and they don’t trust institutions,” the senator explained.

    A second Democratic source in the meeting confirmed there was “a mention of the Florida poll.”

    A Quinnipiac University poll released this week showed the presumptive GOP presidential nominee up 42 percent to 39 percent in swing-state Florida. Clinton had an 8-point lead in Quinnipiac’s poll of the state last month.

    1. So basically she confirmed that Bernie would have been a better choice, because he wouldn’t have looked like a member of the establishment and thus be further ahead in the polls. Yep party leaders, your going to have to sacrifice the perfect for the good if you want to keep your power.

  42. I haven’t read the whole thread so maybe someone has found it and linked to it already. If not I predict that the BLM people are going to complain that the killer in France has taken the spotlight off of them. They have done that before after attacks like this.

    1. I don’t think anybody is in the mood for their shit today. They might want to give it a rest for a few days.

    2. The families if those Victims need to understand how privileged they are compared to black ivy league college students. They just don’t get it.

    3. Yeah I remember that, fucking assholes

    4. was that actually BLM, or proto-BLM?

      1. I think part of the problem is that BLM, kind of like Occupy, the Tea Party, and anonymous, doesn’t have a “leader” or much in the way of a leadership structure at all. No one is giving marching orders to take this or that action, and there’s nobody to denounce or distance the organization from people who act out in ways that hurt the cause. So anybody who just claims they’re acting on behalf of BLM just is, making it very difficult to sort out the reasonable folks from the nutters.

        1. I’m just not sure if BLM was actually a movement at that point, or if it was still just the reaction to the killings that wound up creating it at the time

          1. The #FuckParis and #BLM hashtags were frequently appearing in the same tweets after the Paris attacks, if that answers your question

    5. I know that was the explicit reason for the Pokemon Go is too dangerous for black people articles. A BLM supporter checked google and realized that the app was 22 time more likely to be searched than their favorite social justice movement.

      1. Wait, what is this? Got a link?

      2. well, that’s just good SEO techniques

  43. A humorous reminder of how laws are for the little people.

    Churchill was prescribed booze during Prohibition as a courtesy

    1. There were lots of little people being prescribed alcohol during prohibition as well. There’s a whole market for prohibition-era medicinal whiskey prescriptions, etc.

  44. The Fractured Republicans

    The neoconservatives and Religious Right were dominant in the 1990s and 2000s. There were fewer traditionalists, Cold Warriors no longer existed, and libertarians and paleoconservatives were marginalized. The GOP of neocons and theocons had a string of electoral and policy successes: 1994, 2000, 2002, and 2004; the Hyde Amendment, welfare reform, broken-windows policing, the partial-birth abortion ban, Medicare Part D, Justice Alito.

    But things fall apart. There were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and too few troops to keep the peace. The Bush administration’s most libertarian initiative, Social Security reform, went nowhere. Hurricane Katrina, Harriet Miers, Dubai Ports, government spending, Dick Cheney shooting his friend in the face?nothing seemed to go right. In 2007, a year before his death, Buckley was asked when conservatism reached its apogee. “Viewed as a straight political trajectory,” he replied, “It peaked in 1980.”

    1. cont:

      The events of the last decade, as if guided by an invisible hand, seem to have discredited conservatism. The ongoing trials in Iraq diminished the neoconservatives. Free marketers and supply-siders were tarnished when the Bush presidency began with tax cuts and ended in recession and financial crisis. The rapid triumph of same-sex marriage exposed the weakness of the Religious Right. Where conservatives once agreed on the threat of international communism, they rarely find consensus today on any topic. Is Islamism an existential threat? Should America police the world? Is free trade good or bad? What about immigration? How large should government be? Have you a position on the gold standard? What’s the proper attitude to take toward the police? Should conservatives make their peace with social and cultural change?

      Conservatism splintered, paleoconservatives asserted themselves, Trump captured the GOP. “We are witnessing in an inchoate form the birth of a political phenomenon never before seen in this country,” says historian George Nash. “An ideologically muddled, ‘nationalist-populist’ major party combining both left-wing and right-wing elements.” Aiding Trump is “an array of aggressive dissenters called the ‘alternative right’ or ‘alt-right,’ many of whom openly espouse white nationalism and white-identity politics.”

      1. Free marketers and supply-siders were tarnished when the Bush presidency began with tax cuts and ended in recession and financial crisis.

        Ughhhhhhh. “Free market” of course being an adjective to describe whatever a GOP president or congress does. And “supply side” being a reference to any non-proggy fuddy duddy curmudgeons.

      2. “…’alt-right,’ many of whom openly espouse white nationalism and white-identity politics.”

        I keep hearing that accusation but outside of the same-ol’ lunatic fringe that has always been there I don’t see it. Am I missing something?

        1. Do you go looking at self-identified alt-right websites? In my experience, they’re pretty easy to find in those places.

  45. Seth Mandel ?@SethAMandel 1h1 hour ago
    Just heard Newt’s antiterror comments. Basically his plan is to piss on a copy of the Constitution until ISIS surrenders.

    1. This would be more troublesome if Newt were actually in a position to facilitate that. Hopefully he won’t be.

      1. I’m sure Donald or Hillary would gladly step in… ewww…

      2. Gingrich will probably get a spot in Trump’s administration if he wins

    2. Given how swole his prostate is, he could probably go for a while.

  46. I actually chuckled at this morning’s phriday phunny. Where do I forfeit my commenter card?

  47. America is the Land of the Free (and the Aggressive, Road-Raging Driver): Study

    The statistics found in the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety’s report are alarming, and, without stating it explicitly, advocate for more yoga. According to the study, almost 80 percent of U.S. drivers displayed at least one incident of “significant” aggression, anger or road rage during the past year.

    The study was conducted in 2014, and surveyed 2,705 drivers aged 16 or older who had driven in the past month. Results are broken down into both percentages and actual numbers, just to give us a good sense of how many angry drivers are actually out there.

    Tailgating another vehicle on purpose (that’ll show ’em!) was the most popular way to express roadway disagreement, with 51 percent of drivers (104 million people) admitting to at least one instance. 47 percent of us yelled at another driver, while 45 percent of drivers let their horn do the talking. Angry gestures, including the time-honored flipping of the bird, came in at 33 percent of drivers, or 67 million drivers people.

    1. KEEP RIGHT EXCEPT TO PASS

      and you won’t be tailgated 95% of the time

      1. Sometimes I give a long “fuck you” honk to the truck drivers that pass each other going up the mountain (going 37 to pass the truck going 35 in the right lane on an interstate).

        1. A major part of my commute is a 4-lane (each way) highway where trucks are forbidden from the left lane. Which means, in rush hour, there is a wall of trucks in the second to left lane. That works out really great when there’s a left-hand merge lane. Merging traffic + nobody can move over = dead stop.

      2. Except here in Pinellas county in 20-30 mph zones. Motherfuckers, if you tailgate me while I’m driving 25 mph in a residential 20, I will definitely brake check you. If you honk at me, I will invite you to a face-to-face conversation. Already happened to me twice, so far both have declined my invitation.

        1. That and weaving makes up the other 5%. Although anywhere that the speed limit is 20 mph should probably count as an exception to what I said. And anywhere that posts a laughably slow speed limit like 5 or 10 mph. My car doesn’t barely registers 10 mph on the speedometer and I would have to get out and push it by hand to get it to go 5 mph for any stretch without riding the clutch.

        2. ^This.

          I have been driving for 40 years and have not had a single accident. It burns my ass to have some shithead tailgate me whose crumpled front bumper is held on with tie straps, has one side panel missing and trunk lid is flopping because the rubber strap holding it down is too loose.

  48. Found this through the crossword puzzle story above
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/new…..er-snakes/
    Maybe they should replace the French police with Dobermans

    1. TW: morbid picture attached

    2. the village of Sebekapur in the Gajapati region of Odisha

      Say that five times fast. Or even once.

  49. OK, y’all. Catch you in a week or so. Off to get married (yeah, I know, I don’t comment enough to be missed).

    1. “Thou goest to women? Do not forget thy whip!”

      -Nietzsche

    2. sucker!

      1. whoever you are.

    3. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    4. Don’t load up a truck with bombs and guns if things go poorly.

      1. Now, now. The tragedy in France is no reason for him to change his honeymoon plans.

    5. Raven, I have been married 22 years and they have been the happiest of my life. We still hold hands. and have regular sex. We wake up every morning with my arm around her.

      No shit.

      Here is hoping your marriage is at least as good as ours.

      1. Sex Dolls don’t count!

        /just kidding

    6. Marriage can be hard work, so always remember to tweasure your wove, RN.

    7. Thanks all.

  50. Sevo: per our conversation yesterday, the first civilizations were per force civilizing themselves and it’s nonsense to hold up proto-civilized societies as the sort of natural order from which Locke et al. draw their first principles. Burke was making the point that societies evolve incrementally and that law must be cultivated carefully, else we descend into savagery and terror. He was writing Paine on the precipice of the French Revolution turning truly ugly, but that aside I’d point to the Cultural Revolution and any similar Lord of the Flies scenarios in which impressionable youngsters are encouraged to revolt. The natural outcome is barbarism, because the seminal influence of authority, the link to historical civilization, has been severed. That’s what I find worrying about the Tumblr generation and its denial of Western mores as a guiding light in a very dark world: these children seem to think that society is a fungible, transferable, and ultimately disposable commodity, something they can fundamentally revise without bloodshed or any loss of prosperity. And the scariest ones are those who aren’t terribly worried about the bloodshed.

    1. I didn’t deny self-organization. And I didn’t claim that humanity is nasty and brutal. I said pre-civilized human beings are nasty and brutal. Humanity is itself a civilized concept. Massive dislocations and institutional collapse invites back that savagery. It’s why rule of law is precious, because it hands down a solid set of fundamental principles from generation to generation. And that, as I understand it, and I am admittedly only just getting into his work, is what prompted Burke’s concerns about the French and the possible spread of revolution of that sort across Europe. He was sympathetic to the colonists, or at least condemned the excesses of the Crown in its colonies, because it broke with the conventions of justice that had served it so well over the centuries. And when the American colonists broke from Britain they retained all of the important institutions except for monarchy: common law, courts, a legislature answerable to the people (after a fashion), the liberties of a free people. The French dissolved all such considerations and attempted to institute their own novel system of law. We know the outcome: the Brits had to deal with the aftermath for decades.

    2. How civilization arose is a boring chicken-and-egg conundrum. Nobody knows, thankfully, because we’re surrounded by flourishing societies and have been for millennia. How they get along and how they collapse are much more relevant questions. We know how French monarchism collapsed. We know the decadent toll it took on its people. We know that it’s not possible to reform societies by airlifting democratic values into their countries. Democracy and similar Western virtues require a level of philosophical fidelity that many societies, due to overriding tribal or filial obligations, simply do not possess.

      1. We are what we have always been. IIRC there are ruins of cities under more than 100 feet of water on the floor of the Indian Ocean in what was once the mouth of the Indus.

        Civilization arose because we did.

        1. Dumb! You build your cities ABOVE the sea level. See, this is exactly why we need civilization.

          1. I laughed.

          2. When they built it the sea level was a lot lower. All that rocket fueled burned by the Annunaki contributed to global warming, wiping out lots of coastal cities.

        2. Pfft. Everyone knows those cities were built with ancient alien technology.

          Warning: autoplay vid.

  51. We are at war against radical jihadists who use Islam to recruit and radicalize others in order to pursue their evil agenda.”

    IN YOUR FACE REPUBLARCINS

    1. Look, Islam has been perverted by these people who read the text too closely and interpret it literally.

  52. The death toll in the terror attack in Nice, France now stands at 84, including 10 children.

    Dammit France. This is why we can’t have Nice things.

  53. My buddy’s step-mother makes $96 an hour on this PC. She has been fired for 9 months but last month her payment was $9600 just working on the PC for a few hours. Check It out what she do..

    GO to the web>>>>>>>>>>> http://www.CareerPlus90.com

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