Paul Ryan Says Presidential Election a 'Binary Choice,' Gary Johnson Gets on Maine Ballot, U.S. Stocks See Historic Rise After Brexit: A.M. Links

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  • Reason TV

    At a CNN town hall, House Speaker Paul Ryan said that while presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump wasn't perfect, he was better than presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, calling it a "binary choice." The Libertarian Party of Maine says it has enough signatures to get Libertarian presidential nominee Gary Johnson on the ballot in November, bringing him closer to 50 states. Like Johnson, presumptive Green presidential nominee Jill Stein is also trying to woo Bernie Sanders voters after the democratic socialist's endorsement of Clinton. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, meanwhile, doubled down on her criticisms of Trump, calling him a "fake." Trump took to Twitter to suggest Ginsburg's "mind is shot" and called on her to resign. Attorney General Loretta Lynch defended the FBI investigation into Clinton's email abuses, which produced no indictment, in front of a House panel.

  • Stocks in the United States have gained nearly $2 trillion in share price since the Brexit vote on June 27, which saw a short-term sell off.
  • The president of Venezuela put the armed forces in charge of the new food supply system.
  • China says it rejects an international court ruling against it in a case brought by the Philippines over the South China Sea.
  • A ceasefire in South Sudan is largely holding, according to the United Nations.
  • The American League defeated the National League 4-2 at the All-Star Game in San Diego.

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  1. The American League defeated the National League 4-2 at the All-Star Game in San Diego.

    This is a sports of some sort?

    1. Hello.

    2. Not to baseball fans.

      1. At least there were the stakes of home ice advantage.

    3. How the Tenors struck out with O Canada at the MLB All-Star Game

      As The Tenors performed O Canada before the start of the all-star game, Pereira changed “With glowing hearts we see thee rise, the True North strong and free” to “We’re all brothers and sisters, all lives matter to the great.”

      In addition to the change in lyrics, Pereira also held up a sign he pulled from inside his jacket that read: “All Lives Matter”.

      1. What a racist!

      2. It would be difficult to think up a worse way to make that message.

      3. Sing the damn song.

    1. Arlington National Cemetery did the same.

      People be weird, man.

    2. Well maybe if pokemon weren’t ghosts of dead Jews they wouldnt!

      1. I think you’re thinking scientology.

        1. Just got an app idea for Mormons and their whacky baptisms.

    3. In my little home town, there was a funeral home on the next block from our house. When there was a funeral, we neighborhood kids were admonished to be respectful: keep it quiet, don’t be riding your bikes in front of the funeral home, that sort of thing. I just can’t wrap my head around people thinking to play Pokemon in the Holocaust Museum.

      1. Too soon?

    4. Got to catch ’em all was Hitlers slogan too

      1. Don’t you mean, You know who else had the slogan, “gotta catch them all?”

    5. Having read the article it is not as bad as the headline is making it out to be. The people playing the game aren’t wandering through the museum ignoring the exhibits. They are waiting in line with their tickets to start their tour of the exhibits. Normally they’d just be checking facebook and email instead, now they are playing a game.

      One commentor made a good suggestion. Put up a sign, please don’t use your phone past this point, when they enter the area with stuff to actually look at as opposed to the lobby.

    6. Sounds like a way for actual demons to jump from the afterworld to your phone. Could make a good horror movie.

      1. Pokemon go is a technomage plot!

  2. China says it rejects an international court ruling against it in a case brought by the Philippines over the South China Sea.

    And the subsequent renaming to Bay of Dragons.

    1. NO SPOILERS.

    2. There’s a blast from the past – remember when international arbitration was going to help countries avoid war?

    3. I’ve never understood why they think they can claim the entire South China Sea except for the small edge strip where it borders other countries. I understood stupid politicians and all that, but what makes them think it’s a good plan to push, and that the other countries who border that sea won’t object and be pissed off?

      1. They are a totalitarian regime. It goes with the territory

        1. I try to figure out how people do stupid things, so I can learn from their mistakes. I can’t figure out their thinking. It’s not like Hitler, who started taking over German speaking areas (Sudetenland, Austria) and went too far with all of Poland instead of just the German-speaking part.

          What did some high muckety muck think — well let’s just say we claim all the ocean right up to everyone else’s 12 mile limit? How could that even sound plausible? Was there some kind of precedent that western reports ignore? It just makes no sense.

          1. Now, now, he did give part of Poland to the Soviets, so he didn’t really take all of it!

          2. The reasoning and ancient maps shtick China uses to ‘claim’ South China Sea is just a diplomatic MacGuffin.

            Chinese want military control over South China Sea because Sunda Strait, couple hundred miles south of there, is basically China’s economic pipe and can be turned off like a spigot by only one American carrier group from other side of the strait – and there is not much Chinese can physically do about that presently.

            That keeps Chinese up at night, and from the South China Sea bases to their sudden interest in fleet carriers they are trying to remedy that pretty glaring strategic vulnerability.

            1. Hmmmm, makes sense more than pure greed. Though I still can’t understand how they thought all their neighbors would just accept it.

              Thanks.

  3. 200) Tonius: What are you doing in the porch of Hit ‘n’ Run, Sugarfretes? Surely you cannot be concerned in a suit, like myself?
    Sugarfretes: Not in a suit, Tonius. Impeachment is the word the federal prosecutors use.
    Tonius: What? I suppose that someone has been prosecuting you, for I cannot believe that you are the prosecutor of another.
    Sugarfretes: Certainly not.
    Tonius: Then someone else is prosecuting you?
    Sugarfretes: Yes.
    Tonius: And who is he?
    Sugarfretes: It is a she, Tonius, and I hardly know her. Her name is Katherine, of the deme of Manhattan. Perhaps you may remember her appearance: she has a beak, and short straight hair, and an ill manner.

    1. Tonius: No, I do not remember her Sugarfretes. But what is the charge she brings against you?
      Sugarfretes: What is the charge? Well, a very serious charge, which shows a good deal of character in the young woman, and for which she is certainly not to be despised. She says she knows how the youth are corrupted and who are their corruptors. I fancy that she must be a wise woman, and seeing that I am the reverse of a wise man, she has found me out, and is going to accuse me of corrupting her young friends. If she goes on as she has begun, she will be a very great public benefactor.
      Tonius: I hope that she may; but I rather fear, Sugarfretes, that the opposite will turn out to be the truth. My opinion is that in attacking you she is simply aiming a blow at the foundation of the state. But in what way does she say that you corrupt the young?
      Sugarfretes: She brings a wonderful accusation against me, which at first hearing excites surprise: she says that I am a poet or maker of fiction, and that I twist the meaning of events and incite threats against high officials; this is the ground of her indictment. But wait, I perceive from far off young Wartius approaches.
      Tonius: Returning from his morning visit to the gymnasium, no doubt. And with him, it seems, his friend Groovus.
      Wartius (drawing near): By Herakles, it is Sugarfretes and Tonius. I am surprised to see the two of you abroad so early.

    2. Sugarfretes: Indeed, but we have reasons which we will explain to you shortly. You, I suppose, have been wrestling all comers?
      Wartius: Yes, I have wrestled already twelve visiting Cretans, and lifted many heavy stones and other weighted objects as well.
      Sugarfretes: You are the finest built of the many young men I see at the gymnasium, Wartius, but tell me, does lifting these heavy objects truly improve your bodily health?
      Wartius: Indeed, Socrates, my opinion is that this art is in many ways useful to young men. It is an advantage to them that among the favorite amusements of their leisure hours they should have one which tends to improve and not to injure their bodily health. No gymnastics could be better or harder exercise; and this, of all arts, are most befitting to a freeman. Further, this sort of skill inclines a man to the love of other noble lessons. Let me add a further advantage, which is by no means a slight one,-that this science will make any man a great deal more valiant and self-possessed in the field. And I will not disdain to mention, what by some may he thought to be a small matter;-he will make a better appearance at the right time.
      Groovus: That is admirable, for in the body the good and healthy elements are to be indulged, and the bad elements, the elements of disease, are not to be indulged, but discouraged. But enough of that subject, Sugarfretes, tell Wartius and me your reason for being here in the porch of Hit ‘n’ Run at this time.

      1. +1 platter of swan tongues

    3. Sugarfretes: An accusation against me, which is a slander.
      Wartius: What do the slanderers say?
      Sugarfretes: They shall be my prosecutors, and I will sum up their words in an affidavit: “Sugarfretes is an evil-doer, and a curious person, who searches into things under the earth and in heaven, and he makes the worse appear the better cause; and he teaches the aforesaid doctrines to others.”
      Groovus: A most grievous accusation, for even if it were true, what harm does it to do to them if you speak with others in such a way?
      Sugarfretes: Indeed. But see how sensitive the citizens have become; they chafe impatiently at the least touch of authority and at length, as you know, they cease to care even for the laws, written or unwritten; they will have no one over them. Such, my friend is the fair and glorious beginning out of which springs tyranny.
      Groovus: I desire to hear more of your thoughts on the origins of tyranny, for as you know, I am but recently returned from Scythia, which has had the misfortune of living under a tyrant not so long ago.
      Sugarfretes: Yes, so I have heard.
      Wartius: Tell me, Groovus, is it true that Scythia has the most beautiful women in the world, as its reputation holds?
      Groovus: That is something I have observed with my own eyes and can assure you with total confidence.

    4. Sugarfretes: Very good, friend Wartius. Let us turn back then to tyranny. Say then, my friend, in what manner does tyranny arise?
      Groovus: That it has a democratic origin is evident.
      Sugarfretes: Yes. When a democracy which is thirsting for freedom has evil cupbearers presiding over the feast, and has drunk too deeply of the strong wine of freedom, then, unless her rulers are very amenable and give a plentiful draught, she calls them to account and punishes them, and says that they are cursed oligarchs.
      Groovus: Yes, that is their way.
      Sugarfretes: This then and no other is the root from which a tyrant springs; when he first appears above ground he is a protector.
      Groovus: That is quite clear.
      Sugarfretes: How then does a protector begin to change into a tyrant?
      Groovus: I would like to hear what you think on it.

      1. Ho, Testocles!

    5. This is roughly the first half. I’ll finish up tomorrow.

      1. At first, I thought I was “Sugarfrites,” like “Sugar with a side of fries,” and I was like, “OK. I like fries, man.”

        1. Maybe in the sequel.

        2. with mustard! Mmmm-hmm.

      2. Thanks for the shoutout, JATNAS. Socratic dialogue for the win.

    6. This better end with someone asking, “Et tu, Fistus?” or I’m done reading stories posted here.

      1. You give the hemlock…or so I hear.

        1. It’s got Mr Free and Warty in it, so it’s more likely to end with a fisting

      2. What about frolicking nymphs? Where they at!!!

        1. I ain’t go nowhere ‘less they be mad frolicking nymphs up ins!

    1. Those are some pretty fierce eyebrows.

    2. That is a high-level maneuver… They had sex, he told her we wanted to break up before she even had a chance to dress, and got the fuck out of there. Nice.

      1. Except after a year together he should have been able to foresee the ensuing events. NOT alpha as fuck.

        1. True.

        2. He got rid of the chick for good, and will be getting a check for the totaled vehicle. Could be worse.

        3. “Except after a year together he should have been able to foresee the ensuing events. ”

          Well it sounds like he dead. He expected an over reaction, so he fled while she was still undressed. He probably hid her clothes on the way out too. He just failed to realize that wouldn’t stop her coming after him.

          1. The ex is out there! She can’t be bargained with. She can’t be reasoned with. She doesn’t feel shame, or indignity, or poor body image. And she absolutely will not stop, ever, until your truck is flipped.

    3. Don’t stick it in crazy.

    4. She told deputies they finished having sex ? hence, her lack of clothing ? and he left her apartment. She threw on a bra and followed him to Belle Glade in her car.

      Ramirez told deputies the man is her only source of income and pays for her apartment, car payment and insurance.

      Still would? I am conflicted.

      1. As long as you wrap it up. Definitely don’t want to get this one pregnant.

      2. Ramirez told deputies the man is her only source of income and pays for her apartment, car payment and insurance.

        Doesn’t that make him guilty of human trafficking?

      3. I am guessing he won’t bail her out.

    5. Ramirez told deputies the man is her only source of income and pays for her apartment, car payment and insurance.

      I wonder how much money I’ve saved being single for the last few years.

    6. So, it should read “ex-boyfriend’s truck.” /taking the job of Ted. S.

    7. Florida.

    8. These goddamn Tinder selfies never show below the neck.

  4. …calling it a “binary choice.”

    Ouch for Gay Jay.

    1. He could’ve gone with Sophie’s Choice.

      1. More like The Good Son with two Macaulays and no Elijah.

    2. He. She. or Xe

    3. Binary choice between missionary style and woman-on-top.

      A lot of people want woman-on-top.

        1. Hey, some of us simply want variety!

      1. With a talented woman, woman on top is awesome.

    4. Isn’t it really ternary? Or quaternary?

  5. Stocks in the United States have gained nearly $2 trillion in share price

    I bet this means something to someone.

    1. Brexit didn’t end the world.

      1. The liberals, socialists, communists, JournoLists, Obama mommas, Buildaburgers, Illuminatis, CFRers, plutocrats, and Brussels bureaucrats were all completely wrong. Again.

        1. If you examine 20th century history, I mean really observe it carefully, you start to see a disturbing trend of progressives always being wrong but still managing to seize power and mess things up.

          1. Well, obviously, they need more power to fix this horrible mess we’re somehow in!

            It’s all definitive proof that free markets don’t work.

        2. And strangely, they wonder why most of America has lost all respect for them.

        3. For example:

          The president of Venezuela put the armed forces in charge of the new food supply system.

          I’m sure the Venezuelan military do for the food supply system as they have done for oil industry.

          At least the soldiers will be fed.

          1. Bingo! Maduro needs them, so making sure they are fed (plus their families) is a great move. It may give him another 8-12 months of power.

        4. Somehow I haven’t seen them saying how this stock boom is proof that Brexit was a good idea, despite them using the day after drop as proof that it was a bad idea.

    2. Not much. But when oil crashes at the end of the summer, all bets are off.

    3. Is this really a surprise to anyone?

      Brexit causes uncertainty in both the British and European mainland markets, investors don’t like uncertainty so they shift their money into pretty much the only game left in town, the US markets

  6. Digitally engineered SEX SHORTS improve performance of male wearers by training pelvic floor muscles

    According to the company, VylyV are the first smart pelvic training shorts in the world.

    And they claim wearing the piece of clothing can improve the strength of an erection , sexual stamina and even lead to multiple orgasms.

    A promotional tongue-in-cheek video, available on YouTube , shows the shorts, similar to biking shorts, worn by a model.

    At one stage a female model wearing red stilettos steps into a car and asks the man wearing the shorts: “Is there anything you’re hiding from me?”

    To which he replies cheekily: “Yeah babe, just put your seatbelt on, we’re going for a ride.”

    1. Any shorts that i have on automatically become sex shorts, ladies.

        1. There’s a party in my trousers and it’s a black tie affair, invitation only.

          1. There are a lot of parties like a commoditous party, ’cause a commoditous party ends at a reasonable hour.

            1. Citizen X is having a party, and there ain’t no party like a Citizen X party ‘cuz a Citizen X party is mandatory.

    2. The shorts come with a mobile phone app to track progress

      Not to be confused with Pokemon GO

      1. I don’t see what the difference is. Except that you’re unlikely to find a dead man in these shorts, ladies.

      2. “Not to be confused with Pokemon COME, (the X-rated version).”

    3. Those look like cycling shorts without the big butt pad. And a disturbing camel toe.

  7. The president of Venezuela put the armed forces in charge of the new food supply system.

    That’s how you know your economy is working, it’s so valuable it needs guarding.

    1. Insofar as the armed forces are pretty much the only institution in Venezuela that still works, it’s probably the only thing they can do, if they’re going to stick to their current economic nonsense.

      1. The military seems to be running pretty much everything. It’s just a matter of time before they decide that Maduro is no longer needed.

        1. -1 Bolivarian bus driver, +1 Chilean dictator

    2. The head of the armed forces, Defense Minister Vladimir Padrino, will be in charge of transporting and distributing basic products, controlling prices and stimulating production, according to a decree published Tuesday in the official gazette.

      Um….

      1. Just for the synchronicity of it all – “Padrino” is Italian for ‘godfather’. Perhaps Spanish is adopting the term?

    3. Bernie Sanders understands that bread lines are such a good thing that the Venezuelan army must defend them.

      1. Lesson: refresh before posting.

  8. At a CNN town hall, House Speaker Paul Ryan said that while presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump wasn’t perfect, he was better than presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, calling it a “binary choice.”

    10010 00100 00111 10010?

    1. If gender ain’t binary, why should voting be binary?

    2. I hope those are the ASCII values for FYTW

    3. The only way to win is not to play.

      1. No, you still lose that way.

  9. The Libertarian Party of Maine says it has enough signatures to get Libertarian presidential nominee Gary Johnson on the ballot in November

    They’re going to hand-write his name on every ballot? IN CURSIVE?

    1. Text version: =====D

  10. Holocaust Museum to visitors: Please stop catching Pok?mon here

    Almost everywhere you turn, it seems, people have their eyes glued to smartphone screens playing Pok?mon Go. Since its launch last week, the app has quickly become a cultural phenomenon that has fans of all ages hunting around their neighborhoods for collectible digital creatures that appear on players’ screens as they explore real-world locations.

    But there’s at least one place that would really like to keep Pok?mon out: the Holocaust Museum.

    The museum, along with many other landmarks, is a “Pok?Stop” within the game ? a place where players can get free in-game items. There are three Pok?Stops associated with various parts of the museum.

    Next: Warty Go

    1. Check above, LH.

    2. You know who else tried to catch ’em all?

      1. Pudge Rodriguez? (2,427 games)

      2. Bill Dance?

      3. This one chick at my college with no standards and who didn’t like guys wearing condoms?

      4. STEVE SMITH?

        1. Scariest. Pokemon. Ever.

        2. Crouched on all fours, STEVE SMITH peered through the branches and watched as the park goers walked by, their eyes glued to magic motion screens. He could feel the stirrings in his groin, and the saliva flow in his mouth; for hipster meat was the sweetest meat of them all. The delicious protein,like veal, was tender and infused with artisanal foody flavors and sweet vaping liquid.

          With a mighty roar he broke free of his hiding spot and charged.

      5. Dog, The Bounty Hunter?

  11. Related: did Ginsberg’s comments on Trump violate judicial ethics rules?

    http://www.abajournal.com/news…..hics_rules

    1. “Her mind is shot”.

      When Trump is right, his efficiency of language is tremendous.

      1. Oh, agree. And, fwiw, I think she is looney tunes, and obviously should have known better than to open her mouth on this topic.

        1. “I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.”

        2. Ginsberg hears “gross negligence” and misses the last three letters. No your honor, please slip out of that sheer teddy.

          1. What else is she supposed to wear under that robe, huh?

            1. I think you need to take a break from HNR. SF is affecting you.

            2. Parchment Barrier?

          2. “Let me slip into something more… unconstitutional.”

            1. *Prays SugerFree never sees your comment*

              1. SF’s stories are certainly bad for the constitution. I for one always feel a little anemic and weak-kneed afterward.

                1. Eat a couple of raw eggs before, and make sure you stay hydrated.

    2. did Ginsberg’s comments on Trump violate judicial ethics rules?

      Of course they did. And of course it doesn’t matter because nobody cares about such things.

      1. It’s not just about not caring.

        I’m 100% sure that if I check my Derpbook tonight, someone’s going to be praising her for saying it.

        1. Such courage!

          1. “Ruth Bader Ginsburg is stunning and brave!”

      2. Dems are actually admitting she did violate it on this one. The narrative is that it shows just how horrible Trump must be that she felt compelled to give up her ability to judge his cases. I think that will bite them in the tush if Trump gets elected.

      3. There would be an incredible shitstorm if it were Thomas saying similar things about Clinton.

    3. Yes. She’s always been hard left, but it seems she’s lost all sense of restraint in the past few years.

    4. “How has he gotten away with not turning over his tax returns?”

      I love how all these people who thought Trump was irrational for demanding Obama’s papers (which, he was) somehow don’t see themselves as irrational when demanding Trump’s.

      1. “How has he gotten away with not turning over his tax returns?”

        Could it be because there’s zero requirement to do so?

      2. Why would he turn them over. His supporters and moderates don’t care, and it would just give free talking points to the other side.

      3. “How has he gotten away with not turning over his tax returns?”

        Does anyone believe HRC’s campaign staff doesn’t have them already?

  12. The president of Venezuela put the armed forces in charge of the new food supply system.

    It’s the only way to combat obesity

    1. “My best friend never came back from the war… on obesity.”

  13. Trump took to Twitter to suggest Ginsburg’s “mind is shot” and called on her to resign.

    So he wants Hillary to fill two vacancies.

    1. Paging Teenage Girl…

    2. “So he wants Hillary to fill two vacancies.”

      More likely he figures the Hillary camp will reflexively rush to Ginsburg’s defense. Which he’ll then attack as obvious partisan collusion.

      1. When has he ever shown that much tactical cleverness or forethought?

        1. He doesn’t need the forethought. The guy is good at taking advantage of opponents weakness.

          1. Their weakness is a penchant for virtue signaling, but that’s about it. Trump’s only strength, and I’ll grant you it’s a good strength, is that he’s the opposite of Teflon. Everything sticks to him, but it doesn’t slow him down. He’s the Katamari Damacy candidate.

    3. I recall another Clinton that likes to fill vacancies.

        1. There’s a nice Beaver Ave in that town.

  14. Where else?

    Beaver attacks 67-year-old paddleboarder on Beaver Lake

    Betsy Bent told the Citizen-Times of Asheville that the beaver knocked her board over from underneath the water Friday at Beaver Lake, then latched on to her leg and wouldn’t let go.

    The 67-year-old paddleboarder says a fisherman on the lake knocked the beaver off her twice, but it attacked again before letting her go. Bent needed stiches and rabies shots.

    1. vagina dentata on the loose

      1. It does exist.

    2. Look, it’s right there on the sign: Beaver Lake. Obviously, if you want to paddleboard, you can go down the road to Human Lake.

    3. So the beaver got Bent, eh?

    4. I read about this the other day. I only mention that because the picture used looks like the beaver is being interviewed. As the victim.

      1. That’s a nice looking beaver.

        1. Save a tree..eat a beaver

      2. The angler helped beat the beaver off her, and brought Bent to shore. She was transported to Mission Hospital for care of multiple lacerations.

        1. “helped beat the beaver off”

          Oh, man. ::Shakes head::

          1. *Knocked the Beaver off twice*

            Just a love triangle spat

    5. Did it flip her truck when she tried to leave?

    6. Well, it is his lake.

  15. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, meanwhile, doubled down on her criticisms of Trump, calling him a “fake.” Trump took to Twitter to suggest Ginsburg’s “mind is shot” and called on her to resign.

    At this point, the only logical endpoint is Donald Trump’s first act as President is to sign Poe’s law into effect which allows him to tell RBG “you’re fired!”

  16. Where did I put my well-used and abused shock face? Oh here it is, right next to my collection of Obama bobbleheads.

    UK Parliamentary Report Finds US Allies Are Covertly Funding ISIS

    In evidence submitted to the foreign affairs select committee, the Ministry of Defence said: “[There] is historical evidence of financial donations to Daesh [IS] from within Gulf states. Furthermore, it is understood that family donations are being made to Daesh, through the unregulated Alternative Value Transfer Systems (AVTS).”

    AVTS include ways of globally transferring money that includes little information about the individuals involved in the transaction ? examples include the open source online currency Bitcoin.

    The MoD cited as evidence an incident in September 2014 when an IS official was sanctioned by the US Treasury Department after receiving a $2m donation “emanating from the Gulf”.

    1. That’s because they too don’t understand Obama’s multi-super duper chess strategy.

    2. We are their ally; they are not ours.

      1. ^^This.

    3. Who wants to bet that the Clinton Foundation and ISIS have some of the same donors?

      1. Considering all the money CGI took from the Saudis, it’s pretty much a 99% certainty.

    4. Obama bobbleheads

      Obumbleheads!

      *rushes to trademark office*

    5. I rather doubt that Bitcoin plays a significant role in transferring money to ISIL. More likely the transfers use the informal hawala system, which has been well-established in the Middle East for centuries.

  17. At a CNN town hall, House Speaker Paul Ryan said that…

    tl;dr. Poor form Ed. One link per bullet!

    1. I like it, Ed’s an overachiever.

      1. He’s the guy who asks the teacher whether there’s a maximum word count.

  18. Attorney General Loretta Lynch defended the FBI investigation into Clinton’s email abuses, which produced no indictment, in front of a House panel.

    Asking, “What difference, at this point, does it make?”

  19. calling it a “binary choice.”

    I agree. You can vote to keep playing the R/D game, or vote to reject it in favor of a different party. Of course that isn’t what Ryan meant, because he doesn’t want to rock his nice, comfortable boat.

  20. This school makes it nearly impossible to fail

    It’s hard to fail at one Queens school ? where the minimum grade for course work has been set at 55 even for students who skip quizzes and homework.

    The high failing floor at top-rated Marie Curie MS 158Q in Bayside is a lifeline for students who tank some exams but can eke out 70s or 80s on other tests to pull up their overall grade to 65, the minimum needed to pass.

    Educators said the thinking behind the policy is that a student who gets a very low score on a single exam or assignment ? such as a zero for not doing the work ? has almost no way to reach a 65 passing mark.

    1. a student who gets a very low score on a single exam or assignment ? such as a zero for not doing the work ? has almost no way to reach a 65 passing mark.

      I don’t see how this is a problem.

    2. My memory of high school is that most homework assignments or quizzes were only worth a small percentage of the final grade, so missing one completely wasn’t that big a deal.

      If you’re skipping out on tests, major essays, etc., you deserve to fail.

    3. Claire! STOP. EATING. THE. CHALK!

      Or.

      Claire! Chalk is not a sexual object!

      1. Claire! Actually, that’s ok. Just don’t write “Trump” with it, or you’re expelled.

      2. Good Claire….good. Now rub the chalk on your nipples….yessss…. so good.

    4. No child left behind.

  21. TW: Salon

    The growing gender divide over Ghostbusters: Why movies starring women get slimed by male critics

    After months of fanboys arguing over a movie no one has even seen, critics finally got a peek at Paul Feig’s “Ghostbusters” reboot, in which comedians Leslie Jones, Kate McKinnon, Kristen Wiig, and Melissa McCarthy suit up to fight the supernatural. And much to the relief of everyone who has spent months preparing themselves for the worst, the consensus is mainly positive: The film currently holds a 77 percent fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

    There is, however, a growing gender divide over the film’s reception. As of the time of writing, the film’s scores from female reviewers are considerably higher, with 84 percent of women giving the movie a thumbs up. Time’s Stephanie Zacharek comments, “The movie glows with vitality, thanks largely to the performers, who revel in one another’s company.” Meanwhile, the New York Times’ Manohla Dargis writes that it’s “cheerfully silly” and Kate Muir of U.K.’s The Times says it’s a “rollickingly funny delight.”

    On the flip side, 77 percent of the critics who gave the film a thumbs down are male.

    1. or alternate theory it could suck, and it sucking could have nothing to do with the fact women star in it.

    2. I wonder if there was a gender divide for criticism of Steel Magnolias, Thelma & Louise, etc.?

    3. Subtle switch of statistics: 84% of women give it a thumbs up while 77% of those who give it a thumbs down are male. But that does *not* mean 77% of mean give it a thumbs down, and my guess is that there are more male critics, so it may not be surprising that more men than women disliked it. My guess is a majority of those who gave it at thumbs up are men. An apples to apples comparison would say what percentage of male critics give it a thumbs up.

      1. Another important way to read the stats: 16% of women critics are gender-traitors.

        1. I was interested by that. Even with heavy pressure from feminist, they couldn’t get 90% of women to fall in line and sing the things praises. That sounds like a crap movie.

    4. On the flip side, why are women giving “thumbs up” to a movie that sucks?

    5. It’s true, those women have no dicks.

      1. That’s what I heard!

    6. “To get what we want we need to start a gender culture war, just like the one the race hustlers have.”

      1. They’ve tried. They’ll always fail because women unlike people of a particular ethnicity are always born surrounded by the people that is being demonized. Often they have loved ones of the opposite gender. I’m pretty sure this problem is the main reason for places like safe spaces and constant talk about how dangerous and sexist it is for strange men to say Hi to women. You’ve got to isolate people from the other if you want them to hate them.

    7. I know, let’s take a classic comedy film that wasn’t about gender at all and redo it, but this time we’ll insert a needless gender switch and make that the focus. Then when anyone complains that the film sucks, we’ll accuse them of being misogynists. Instant media coverage.

        1. The Blues Sisters

          1. 12 Angry Women

            Mind you, this could work in reverse: Pretty Boy, Little Men, The Boy Can’t Help It etc etc

        2. Life of Brianna

        3. Shaving Dianne’s Privates

        4. Blazing Side Saddles?

          1. Blazing Saddle Bags?

          2. Blazing Mutton Flaps?

        5. A Fish Called Wagner

        6. There’s Something About Murray

          1. Sadly, there’s nothing about Murray in the Ghostbusters reboot.

        7. Mr. Doubtfire

        8. A Few Good Hags.

          1. Those Magnificent Women In Their Flying Machines?

        9. There is no way that The Three Amigos could be remade as The Three Amigas.

          Cultural appropriation is no longer tolerated.

        10. Seven Bros for Seven Brides.

        11. Brought to you by the makers of Commodore 64!

      1. White Girls Can’t Jump

      2. Also, we’ll make sure that we get shitty female actors, instead of going for the top level ones.

        1. Top level ones turned them down. Funny how people with star power don’t want to be associated with a movie that would hire them based upon what’s between their legs not their talent.

    8. Why movies starring women get slimed by male critics

      I think I know the answer to this. If you need me, I’ll be watching the hip new Ghostbusters movie in my bunk.

      1. Slime? Bukkake? It’s all the same.

    9. Perhaps the question should be (on the assumption that the movie does indeed suck), why do women reviewers rate it so highly?

      1. By comparison to the original Ghostbusters, it pretty much has to suck.

        1. Yeah, a remake of an excellent and popular movie has to be pretty awesome not to be seen as crap.

      2. This isn’t too unlike the WNBA, which only exists because of the largess of the NBA, not because anywhere near a critical mass of fans actually like it, watch it or support it. Yet anyone who doesn’t acknowledge the greatness of the WNBA is a sexist misogynist patriarch rapist.

        1. But their fundamentals are excellent!

    10. They need to make a gender-bending version of “Pretty Woman”, but with a rentboy and a female concierge.

    11. Any remake is going to be slammed for being a remake.

      So why NOT inject something into it that lets you fight strawmen in place of actual critics??

      From a strategic perspective, it was a great idea.

    12. And much to the relief of everyone who has spent months preparing themselves for the worst, the consensus is mainly positive: The film currently holds a 77 percent fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

      If you actually read the positive reviews, most of them are the “damning with faint praise” type–“This movie isn’t perfect, but at least it won’t give you feline AIDS!”–or fringe blogger nobodies who Sony probably paid off.

    13. Once again, I have to ask: how is it empowering for women to take a franchise originally featuring men, cast women in their place, and release it as if there’s something novel or significant about the film except Hey, vagina? Isn’t feminism about demonstrating that women are more than just T&A? Or is it like modern racial theory, you count for nothing except your skin color and you’re nothing except whatever you’re hiding in your pants.

    14. When studios pay for positive reviews (see Sony WikiLeaks), all bets are off the table.

    15. comedians Leslie Jones, Kate McKinnon, Kristen Wiig, and Melissa McCarthy suit up to fight the supernatural

      So just like the original, they have two who are funny and two who aren’t.

      1. I’m fairly certain that if they had remade it with Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, Chris Rock, and David Spade, the general reaction would have been about the same. Sorry ladies, you made a shitty movie, vaginas have nothing to do with it.

  22. NYT: For Whites Sensing Decline, Donald Trump Unleashes Words of Resistance

    Race Race Race Race Trump Trump Trump Trump KKK Jew Jew Jew Nazi Nazi Race Race Race

    1. Work by Michael I. Norton, a professor at Harvard Business School, suggests that whites have come to see anti-white bias as more prevalent than anti-black bias, and that they think further black progress is coming at their expense.

      Can anyone really deny that one form of bias is highly discouraged and the other is socially and institutionally acceptable? (maybe ‘promoted’ would be a better word than ‘acceptable’)

      1. I’m sure someone will give it a good try.

  23. Racist Baristas Responsible for Surge in U.S. Soccer Fandom

    This is a downright doozy of a lede:

    For the stunted American male, frustrated with the changing demographics of the country and gripped by the belief that his days on top are coming to an end, there may be no form of pornography more satisfying than watching a bunch of hard-drinking, pub-singing soccer fans with thick brogues beat the hell out of one another.

    Yes, this article is about soccer, but stay with me. Former Grantland editor Jay Caspian Kang, writing in the New York Times magazine, suggests that young, white, American males are coping with their loss of socioeconomic prestige by becoming racist soccer hooligans. His evidence is . . . one soccer game he went to one time.

    In Seattle.

    1. What the shit??

      1. Funny huh?

        1. Certainly not “ha ha” funny.

    2. Sounds like a ivy league social justice masters thesis.

    3. Give Kang this point, at least: There are racist soccer fans in Europe, and there are particularly virulent strains among the worst hooligans.

      I told you we should never have let those swarthy, garlic-smelling gibbermouthed jamokes into the country.

    4. Maybe they’re just metro Euro-man wannabes.

  24. A ceasefire in South Sudan is largely holding, according to the United Nations.

    Kind of pregnant?

    1. Well, there will certainly be more pregnancies and STDs due to the heroic efforts of the UN peacekeepers.

      1. And dysentery!

        /Fijian Army

  25. Completely OT, my wife has asked me to ask this august group two questions:

    Recommendations for a VPN service for private/anonymous connection to the internet.

    Recommendations for tours of Pearl Harbor to see the Arizona and the Missouri.

    1. Recommendations for tours of Pearl Harbor to see the Arizona and the Missouri.

      Gotta catch ’em all!

      1. I’m not tech savvy enough to answer that, but I’ll take whateever education you can throw my way.

        1. A proxy server seems like more what you are asking about. They allow fairly anonymous internet use by making it hard to track anything back to your actual IP address. They can also be used in places that censor the internet to get to blocked sites.

          VPN allows connection over the internet to private networks. It’s what you’d use if you were working from home and needed access to the company network.

          I’m afraid I don’t have any specific recommendations for proxy servers.

        2. Unlocator worked great for me until the Netflix jihad. It still works for MLB TV and other sports. You can prick your country in a click. Works across devices, etc. $4/month.

    2. Not sure about the private/anonymous connection aspect, but I do use Overplay as a proxy to access television around the world (I’m married to a rugby/gaelic football/hurling-loving, libertarian German woman who can out-shoot me and has a history of breaking people’s noses by headbutting them when they got a bit handsy when she was a bartender). It makes it very easy to change the IP we show up from. They have an app for both Windows and Mac, and all you have to do is select the country you want to appear from. Use it to watch the wonderfully/horribly cheesy German New Years Eve shows, the Irish sporting events, and Six Nations rugby. Once you are finished using the proxy, just disconnect and you are back to normal. Overplay does a good job keeping the servers updated, and they have proxies all around the world.

      1. ” (I’m married to a rugby/gaelic football/hurling-loving, libertarian German woman who can out-shoot me and has a history of breaking people’s noses by headbutting them when they got a bit handsy when she was a bartender)”

        Bilder?

  26. Doing the jobs that Americans (and Immigrants) won’t do:

    Robot with an eye for broccoli can do the work of six pickers

    Out in the fields, the new farm labourer is doing the work of half a dozen people. He doesn’t gossip or take tea breaks, and he has never had a sick day.

    On the minus side, he’s not much of a conversationalist.

    A broccoli-harvesting robot being developed at the University of Lincoln could soon put human pickers out of a job. Using a 3D camera cannibalised from a games console, scientists taught the machine to identify heads of broccoli with 95 per cent accuracy.

    1. The other 5% is heads of children, though, so there’s still a few bugs to work out.

      1. As long as they are only immigrant children heads.

      2. Sounds like the robot is better suited to the Cabbage Patch.

    2. Robo-broccoli — now with 5% real meat protein!

    3. Finally, an American who will do that job.

  27. At a CNN town hall, House Speaker Paul Ryan said that while presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump wasn’t perfect, he was better than presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, calling it a “binary choice.” The Libertarian Party of Maine says it has enough signatures to get Libertarian presidential nominee Gary Johnson on the ballot in November, bringing him closer to 50 states. Like Johnson, presumptive Green presidential nominee Jill Stein is also trying to woo Bernie Sanders voters after the democratic socialist’s endorsement of Clinton. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, meanwhile, doubled down on her criticisms of Trump, calling him a “fake.” Trump took to Twitter to suggest Ginsburg’s “mind is shot” and called on her to resign. Attorney General Loretta Lynch defended the FBI investigation into Clinton’s email abuses, which produced no indictment, in front of a House panel.

    Not enough bullet points. I blame NASA.

    1. Krayewski is cheating, really. Setting a bad example for Little Robby, who looks up to Ed and is very impressionable. Tomorrow there’s going to be like 20 stories crammed into a single bullet point.

      Krayewski: What have you done Robby?

      Robby: I learned from watching you, Kray Kray.

      Krayewski: This is worse than the time you forgot to post the P.M. Links. You don’t deserve that hair.

      1. He learned to walk while Kray’s away, and he linkin’ fore I knew it, and as he grew he’d say, “You know I’m gonna be like you, Ed, you know I’m gonna be like you.”

      2. I’m going to assume from now on that he really does call Ed “Kray Kray”

        1. I can’t imagine a universe in which he doesn’t call him that.

          1. I can. And it’s cold and dead.

  28. Venezuela is retarded.

    1. Well, they do want cake.

    2. Judging by the approval ratings (done by outlanders), if we can assume that they’re mostly legit, point to a country that’s at least 50% full retard.

      1. I thought it was down to 30% retard.

        1. You are correct. I was operating off old measurements of the retardation in that country.

        2. I wonder if the decrease is due to actual attrition of the true believers or if it indicates people changing their position.

  29. Joining the winning team? /sarc

    Kevin D. Williamson
    ?@KevinNR
    And libertarians such as myself do not object to such business models.

    Kevin D. Williamson added,
    Cloyd Rivers @SynergyPromoter
    @GilIrmen @KevinNR Not necessarily. A workers co-op, for example, does just this without govt intervention or management.

    1. If Williamson is libertarian then he should show his face around here more often.

      1. I suspect he does post here though not under anything that would identify him.

        Also, the thought of that screechy socon as a libertarian makes me want to puke my guts out.

        1. Wouldn’t it be hilarious if he was actually John?

  30. The president of Venezuela put the armed forces in charge of the new food supply system.

    Problem solved. All problems in fact. Should have done this years ago.

    1. Looking at history the military often solves food crisis, the military gets the food and everyone else starves

  31. Clinton Losing On Honesty In Florida, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Quinnipiac University Swing State Poll Finds

    FLORIDA: Trump 42 – Clinton 39
    OHIO: Clinton 41 – Trump 41
    PENNSYLVANIA: Trump 43 – Clinton 41

    With a drop in grades on honesty and moral standards, Democrat Hillary Clinton loses an 8-point lead over Republican Donald Trump in Florida, and finds herself in too-close-to-call races in the three critical swing states of Florida, Ohio and Pennsylvania, according to a Quinnipiac University Swing State Poll released today.

    Clinton loses ground on almost every measure from a June 21 survey by the independent Quinnipiac (KWIN-uh-pe-ack) University. The Swing State Poll focuses on Florida, Ohio and Pennsylvania because since 1960 no candidate has won the presidential race without taking at least two of these three states.

    1. All she’ll need to win is to not lie between now and November. I’m not sure how she can pull that off.

  32. http://www.foxnews.com/politic…..-wall.html

    GOP draft platform will include Trump’s proposed border wall

    The Republican platform committee included language calling for a border wall along the U.S. and Mexican border in the draft party platform, getting behind one of presumptive presidential nominee Donald Trump’s keystone proposals.

    The group wrapped up drafting the plan Tuesday in Cleveland in advance of the convention there next week, when the platform will officially be voted on by the full convention’s 2,472 delegates.

    The proposed platform will express support for a “border wall” that must cover “the entirety of the Southern Border and must be sufficient to stop both vehicular and pedestrian traffic.”

    The measure was proposed by Trump supporter Kris Kobach, the secretary of state from Kansas.

    “This is why we support building a wall along our southern border and protecting all ports of entry,” the measure says. “The border wall must cover the entirety of the southern border and must be sufficient to stop both vehicular and pedestrian traffic.”

    1. http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016…..eader.html

      Dallas police sniper was shunned by New Black Panthers, says group’s leader

      Dallas sniper Micah Johnson was shunned by the New Black Panther Party after he began encouraging fellow members to take up arms, the hate group’s leader X claimed Monday.

      Houston-based New Black Panther Party leader Quanell X told radio station KTRH he “excused” Johnson when the Army veteran encouraged the group to stockpile guns and ammunition.

      “I knew brother, and brother had spent some time with us in New Black Panther Party nation and he also worked some security details for me in events that we had,” X said in the radio interview with host Mike Patrick.

      It was not clear if X considered Johnson a member of his group, but he said he told Johnson “to excuse himself” from the group about three years ago after Johnson questioned why the group was not buying guns and ammunition to fight the government.

      1. It’s a conspiracy by the squirrels to bring about my insanity. Involuntary threading!

      2. “Dallas police sniper” — Misleading phrasing.

  33. Illinois seeks to shut down state Obamacare insurer; 49,000 to lose insurance

    The state said it will allow policyholders to buy coverage from a different insurer before their Land of Lincoln plans are terminated, but it’s unclear when the policies will lapse.

    “It’s a bad day for the marketplace in Illinois and our consumers,” said Jason Montrie, president and interim CEO of Chicago-based Land of Lincoln. “This is the end.”

    The Department of Insurance said the decision was based on the startup company’s deteriorating financial condition. Land of Lincoln is required to pay $31.8 million to other insurers under a complex formula in the Affordable Care Act, which aims to keep premiums stable by balancing risks among insurers.

    But the payment placed too much financial stress on Land of Lincoln after it lost more than $90 million last year.

    1. “It’s a bad day for the marketplace”

      Marketplace? They know not the word.

  34. But is America still a “center-right” nation?

    Hillary’s Left Turn

    With Bernie Sanders’s decision yesterday to formally endorse Hillary, the last potential threat to her nomination has been eliminated. In any normal election year, a candidate in that position, especially one running against an opponent as divisive and unqualified as Donald Trump, would begin to pivot to the political center. Instead, Hillary continues to move further and further left. Having apparently decided she can’t run as herself ? the slogan “Hey, at least I wasn’t indicted” is less than inspirational ? she is doing her best to morph into the Democratic candidate that some people actually liked.

    Last weekend, for instance, she moved closer to adopting Bernie’s health-care plan. She hasn’t gone all the way ? Berniecare’s $38 trillion price tag is still a bit high for her ? but she will push for a so-called “public option” for Obamacare.

    1. It’s only a matter of time before it’s irreversibly “center-left”. Descent into leftism works a lot like entropy. It’ll take an incredible amount of social energy to reverse the trend.

  35. Islamic State reportedly preparing for end of its so-called caliphate

    http://www.foxnews.com/world/2…..phate.html

    Islamic State terror leaders are reportedly preparing for the fall of its so-called caliphate after the U.S.-led coalition and Russian-backed forces made significant gains in recent months in Iraq and Syria.

    The Washington Post reported Tuesday that the terror group’s leaders in Syria are bracing for its strongholds to fall, but vow to continue its wave of terror attacks abroad. U.S. counterterrorism experts believe the recent large-scale attacks in Istanbul and Baghdad are a sign that its reign in the Middle East is dwindling.

    Experts still believe that even if the terrorists affiliated with ISIS start to move underground, the group will still remain dangerous abroad.

    “Where Al Qaeda was hierarchical and somewhat controlled, these guys are not. They have all the energy and unpredictability of a populist movement,” retired Air Force Gen. Michael Hayden told The Post.

    ISIS officials still believe that its vision of a “caliphate” across the Middle East is still viable despite its losses across the region it claims. One also insisted that the group had “shifted some of our command, media and wealth structure to different countries.”

    1. It’s Baghdad Bob redux.

    2. We beat them with our transexual bathroom obsession! Or wore them down, same difference

  36. Amid Grim Economic Forecasts, Cubans Fear a Return to Darker Times

    Now, grim economic forecasts; the crisis in its patron, Venezuela; and government warnings to save energy have stoked fears among Cubans of a return to the days when they used oil lamps to light their living rooms and walked or bicycled miles to work because there was no gasoline.

    You know you’re fucked when Venezuela is your sugar daddy. Also, in before “Cuba shouldn’t have abandoned socialism.”

    1. And remember that Cuba has a booming tourist economy (mostly Canadians) and that many Americans of Cuban Ancestry regularly send money and goods to their relatives in Cuba. Why, it’s almost as if there were “structural” problems with socialism, or something.

      1. Why, it’s almost as if there were “structural” problems with socialism, or something.

        The structure has the wrong Top. Men.

  37. http://www.foxnews.com/enterta…..e-ads.html

    Lena Dunham calls to remove guns from ‘Bourne’ ads

    Lena Dunham is taking to social media to disarm Jason Bourne.

    The actress-producer shared an Instagram post from “Girls” producer Tami Sagher who asked New Yorkers to remove guns from the “Bourne” subway advertisements starring Matt Damon.

    “Hey New Yorkers, what if we do some peeling and get rid of the guns in the Jason Bourne subway ads,” Sagher wrote. Dunham later shared the post, writing “Good idea?Let’s go!”

    Damon, himself, has also spoken out against America’s gun violence in recent weeks. He told the Sydney Morning Herald that the U.S. government could learn a thing or two from Australia.

    1. Hoplophobe: *Sprinkles Dianne Feinstein’s tears on United States Constitution.* “THE POWER OF STATE COMPELS YOU. THE POWER OF STATE COMPELS YOU! EXORCISE THESE DEMONS OF DEATH! BE GONE, O CURSED HAND-CANNON!”

    2. This is about the right project for Lena. Pointless, dumb, and emptily symbolic. It’s just her speed.

      1. You’ve got her number!

      2. Lena Dunham is confusing food with food for thought.

        She should stick to food.

      3. It must be greatly comforting to shit your pants at the mere sight of an inanimate object.

        PROGRESSIVE RANGERS, GO!

    3. It’s idiots all the way down!

    4. The careful mixing of arrogance and stupidity is getting untenable among celebrities.

    5. Is this the same Australia that has hundreds of thousands more guns than it did before their buyback program?

      Maybe they should.

    6. Cool. After that she can fight rape culture by peeling the genitals off all posters featuring men!

    7. So defacing someone else’s property and resorting to censorship? Typical fascist.

  38. Mother-of-six accused of prostituting herself to five men in a chicken coop as her children slept

    A bad mother would have done it while they were awake Daily Mail.

    1. No chickens were hurt.

    2. So the fox WAS guarding the henhouse. Thanks, folks, I’m here all week. Tip your waitress.

      1. She ran afowl of the law and got eggs-actly what she deserved. Sorry if that ruffles any feathers.

        1. She was just tending to the cock.

          1. *narrows gaze at the lot of ye*

            1. ::Ducks::

              1. Don’t be chicken..

    3. Member of Bradehoft’s family told police the young mother moved from Florida to Wisconsin earlier this year, and she prostituted herself late at night when her children were sleeping.

      Phew. So technically, she’s not a Florida Woman.

      One of her children was found to have traces of amphetamines, methamphetamines and cocaine when tested by Child Protective Services.

      I’m so glad CPS is there looking after the welfare of the children and not doing pointless things like furthering the WoD.

      1. You can take the woman out of Florida, but you can’t take the Florida out of the woman.

    4. Florida woman.

      And those kids could have gotten the meth and coke from anywhere.

    5. We have a chicken coop. That is so nasty as to defy all imagining. Even the smell, I could not describe the smell without using words that would burn out pixels on your screen from the dark languages needed.

    6. Hey, if you want to put food on the table you gotta break some eggs.

  39. A replica viking ship needs to pay $400K for a pilot in the Great Lakes or turn around

    Thanks Coast Guard! I’m sure that these rookies (who crossed the Atlantic) really need your help navigating Lake Michigan and Lake Superior.

    1. Perhaps they should replicate certain other aspects of viking culture for those government meddlers. [The preceding comment is mere juvenile bluster and is not to be taken seriously by any overly-ambitious AUSAs]

      1. PREEEEEET!!!

        1. Preet Brahashamalamadingaling is donning his cape, readying himself for political warfare.

    2. Viking king: WE MUST TURN BACK!
      Soldier: Why?!?
      King: Damn Jew-Dagos are calling in our loan!

      1. USCG: “We order you to alter course and depart these waters.”

        KIng (aboard vessel): “You bring the heads of conquered kings to my ship. You insult my crew. You threaten my people with slavering and death. Perhaps you should have chosen your words carefully, slaver.”

        USCG: “This is blasphemy. THIS IS MADNESS!”

        King: “Madness? THIS… IS… SPARTA.”

        *Unleashes massive broadside.*

        I’d pay to see that ship fire an actual broadside at the Coast Guard. I wish it had armaments.

        1. Not sure Vikings had cannon.

          1. They do in my imagination.

    3. Shallow or treacherous inland waters do create the need for pilots that are highly familiar with those waters. Of course this creates an opportunity for unions and local govt.’s to extort insane amounts of money.

    4. A pilot costs $00 per hour? For a boat that draws a couple feet of water and does less than 10 knots? WTF?

    5. No one told Ragnar Larthbrook to turn around.

  40. Random note: I went to a Baha’i worship service yesterday where two Baha’is said they had gone to a rally in protest of police shootings in my city. They mentioned that many of the speakers there, including the mother of an African American mentally disabled man who had been shot by police, made mention that this was a problem that could happen to anyone of any race, and that the problem of police violence needed solving from everyone, because anyone could be victimized that way.

    Being Baha’is, the emphasis on what we talked about was focused on the concept of Unity.

    Though I thought some of you might like to know: Thankfully, not EVERY group out there protesting police shootings is playing up a racial narrative. There apparently ARE people out there who openly acknowledge that the victims of police brutality are of many races and ethnicities.

    1. Unpossible! There’s no room for nuance or an acceptance of individuality in our discussions of broad human issues here!

    2. That’s why BLM will go nowhere. Their counter-productive actions hurt chances for reform. It just invites everyone to double down while laying in their bunkers.

      1. Case in point (though not sure what this moron had in mind):

        http://www.yardbarker.com/mlb/…..n=20160712

      2. They have no interest in reform. They have no interest in black lives. I looked at the personal blogs of some of its top activists and found ‘destroy capitalism’ in all of their screeds.

        They are, as have been described here by one commenter (my apologies, I cant remember who), as disgusting ghetto brownshirts. That is exactly what they are.

        1. Same with the climate change cultists. It’s not about climate. All about system change.

          Strange and deranged.

        2. It’s also about self-aggrandizement and enrichment.

    1. I call that body language “angry tomato”

    2. Isn’t that default Bernie?

  41. Pennsylvania cop picks up diner tab of couple who refused to sit next to him.

    It’s good to know that Obama hasn’t completely destroyed kindness and decency in America, despite his best efforts.

    1. I think the cops in that photograph might be wearing rigid body armor. They look like their backs are being kept painfully straight.

    2. So the cop was spying on their conversations, speculating about what they might be up to, and then inserts himself between them and their waiter to monitor what they’re ordering. Sounds like the couple was exactly right about wanting to be as far away from them as possible.

  42. http://time.com/4399500/republ…..tion-guns/

    Why Guns Won’t Be Allowed at the Republican Convention

    Delegates to the Republican national convention would do best to leave their guns at home.

    The Secret Service and the Quicken Loans Arena hosting the convention next week are both barring firearms within the convention, though state law allowing open carry will still apply to unsecured areas within the convention’s event zone.

    The arena has long banned firearms under an Ohio law that allows private properties to do so.

    “In accordance with the Ohio’s ‘concealed carry’ law and the right for private entities to ban handguns on their premises, firearms and other weapons of any kind are strictly forbidden on the premises of Quicken Loans Arena,” states the Q’s policies and procedures webpage.

  43. Derka derka Sherpa. Socialism is good, luck is bad, top man inept. Needs more retries.

    The Guardian’s view on Venezuela: both bad luck and bad management

    1. The odds are stacked high against good government in many Latin American countries. Most are deeply divided by race and class and feature a privileged, wealthy and largely white elite with a narrow view of its interests. Such groups cannot usually bring themselves to tolerate for long, let alone work with, progressive movements which want to make society fairer and more equal.

      So the white elites are the reason the well-intentioned proggies failed in Venezuela. Gotcha.

      1. Now Hugo Chavez was a “white elite”, just like George Zimmerman.

        File this as item number one billion under media leftists are insane.

      2. This is in line with the link that I posted yesterday about the Cornell professor who equated capitalism with white supremacy. These people are stupid, but get to orally defecate nonsense.

      3. make society fairer and more equal.

        “more” equal
        Fair-er

        Both superlatives point to only one thing: the Left’s desire for more power.

        1. You can have a society that’s fair, or a society that’s equal, but you can’t have both.

      4. The elite (as in people who have some money and higher social status) in Venezuela is largely white. They clearly aren’t talking about Chavez and the people running the government.

        The rest is pretty idiotic, though. I’m pretty sure that their lack of tolerance for the socialists has a lot more to do with having their money and property stolen and the destruction of the economy than with race.

        1. I get what they’re saying, but the whole article reads like a Comey non-indictment statement. Here’s all the flaws with socialism, but it’s totally the capitalist white elites’ fault it failed.

          1. It is terrible and weaselly. I just like to give everything a fair reading.

        2. Using racism works very well when your audience is desperately looking for a boogeyman, and is simple-minded enough to believe it.

          The Guardian is blaming “white elites”.

          An Indian equivalent would be blaming “upper-caste elites”.

          You always need an outgroup scapegoat, and ethnic grouping of some sort – whether it is race, caste, or religion – is the simplest thing to latch on to.

      5. Damn whitey,he’s every where.

    2. The Guardian is the journalistic equivalent of a thoroughly retarded, wailing child strapped into a wheelchair, screeching and clawing helplessly at his surroundings and soiling himself with every howl.

    3. “The president of Venezuela put the armed forces in charge of the new food supply system.”

      Just yesterday I predicted that there will be some kind of forced labor enacted soon, most likely on the pretense of producing food, a la Pol Pot.

      Chavez and Maduro seized all of the private farms and they fell into ruin because the non-farmers won’t work them, at least they won’t as long as a rifle is not pointed at them.

      1. I’m not sure which book nails that situation better, Atlas Shrugged or Road to Serfdom.

        1. Yes. You are exactly right.

          1. Ok, who got disappeared?

              1. No, he called it.

                1. Does somebody have a hate boner for straffinrun? Also, what kind of shit algorithm disappears the entire history of a poster who’s been commenting for years because of a bunch of recent spam flags?

                  1. It might be the country I’m in. Who knows.

                    *Reports self as spam*

      2. This is PRECISELY what would happen to all dipshit, faux-intellectual North American writers who defend socialism, bash capitalism, prop up communist regimes, and who find all sorts of things to gripe about in a free and advanced civilization. That is, the people they ‘admire’ would eventually either turn them in indentured servants to the state or line them up and shoot them.

        1. We lost a treasure when this fellow passed:

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLqHv0xgOlc

          I have never heard it nailed quite like that. It is a mistake to think that he is talking only about the Soviets. It is a pattern repeated over and over under every totalitarian regime throughout history.

          1. My favorite line from memory: “When they see the reality of their world of social justice and equality they won’t like it very much. They will become dissidents and dissent cannot be allowed. They will be squashed like cockroaches.”

        2. “Well you’ll work harder with a gun in your back
          For a bowl of rice a day”

    4. “Throughout history, poverty is the normal condition of man. Advances which permit this norm to be exceeded ? here and there, now and then ? are the work of an extremely small minority, frequently despised, often condemned, and almost always opposed by all right-thinking people. Whenever this tiny minority is kept from creating, or (as sometimes happens) is driven out of a society, the people then slip back into abject poverty.

      This is known as “bad luck.”

      – Robert Heinlein

    5. “When the oil money was flowing in, things did not work that well in Venezuela. But a great deal that was worthwhile was achieved, in spite of a lot of waste and misdirection. Above all, the expectations of ordinary people ? their sense of what the state owed its citizens ? was changed for ever by Hugo Ch?vez. They knew he was on their side and they knew their welfare was at the centre of his endeavors.”

      Good fuckin’ grief, what a steaming pile that is.

      1. Stated Intentions FTW

      2. Marx is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

      3. Herein lies a contradiction.

        Venezuela needs oil money to fund free shit.

        But the world must not consume oil because carbon sin. Which means Venezuela shouldn’t have oil money.

        So where’s the free shit going to come from?

        1. Hopes, dreams, and delusions.

    1. #PokemonPlayersMatter

  44. Flipping a coin involves a binary outcome, but either way it comes up it’s still the same coin.

    1. You are the wind beneath my wings for that comment.

  45. A forum that I frequent:

    My home has been designated a Pokemon Go hotspot…Help?

    For the past two days, people on my lawn, behind my house… by my cars, in front of the house. I started counting today, at 35 I stopped. A private residence. Never a church, or any other public place. It has always been a home.

    This is happening at 1-2 am as well.

    I have a Son with severe autism who is getting pretty wigged out by all of the people with their smart phones wandering about the place.

    I have heard the makers do not grant removal requests.

    Last night someone went around my car with a key. Just for fun I suppose while chasing an elusive pokemon.

    Is there a lawyer in the house?

    1. Large dogs

      1. Large caliber

    2. Charge for admission. Cash only.

  46. At a CNN town hall, House Speaker Paul Ryan said that while presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump wasn’t perfect, he was better than presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, calling it a “binary choice.”

    Dumbass.

  47. How did the stock market go up after Brexit? How have we survived this long, at all? I was assured by my leftist acquaintances here in the USA that we’d all be pillaging for garbage scraps by now if the UK left EU.

    1. The real fireworks will come when Italy tries to leave and DeutscheBank implodes.

  48. Things will be alright now!

    “Venezuela army deployed to control food production and distribution”
    […]
    “In a decree, President Nicolas Maduro has ordered the army to monitor food processing plants, and co-ordinate the production and distribution of items.
    […]
    Mr Maduro says the measure is to fight the “economic war” he claims is being waged against his government by political foes and businessmen, with US backing.”
    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-…..a-36776991

    1. It works great for North Korea.

    2. Ooops. Southern Boy beat me to it.

  49. BREAKING NEWS: The D.B. Cooper case has baffled the FBI for 45 years. Now it may never be solved.

    Out of all America’s skyjackings, only one remains unsolved.

    The case has confounded FBI investigators for decades ? its astonishing details, clues and alleged participants have become the stuff of American criminal lore.

    The story has inspired songs, T-shirts and books, and the main character has, at times, bordered on American folk hero status.

    Now, after one of “the longest and most exhaustive investigations” in FBI history, the agency is finally moving on from the search for the notorious skyjacker known as D.B. Cooper, according to a statement released by the FBI.

    This just in from a dusty old evidence locker that hasn’t been opened in 45 years… the case may never be solved! OMG I’m shocked.

    1. The FBI should check with Trump. He has evidence that Ted Cruz’s father is D.B. Cooper.

      1. nice

  50. GOP Platform Committee is worried some people may not realize how much they hate homosexuals:

    Donald Trump’s Platform Committee: Gay Sex Deadlier Than Smoking

    1. Pathetic smear campaign is pathetic.

    2. So…

      not Trump,
      not the platform itself,
      but some of the people who wrote the platform

      … by this standard, Hillary Clinton’s Platform Committee: As Socialist As the Sandinistas

      1. I’m pretty sure there’s plenty of stuff in the platform for gay people to dislike. Ignoring the obvious fact that the GOP is a homophobic party is just stupid denial.

        And sure, there is plenty of crazy in the DNC platform/committee too. Wasn’t Cornel West involved?

        1. the GOP is a homophobic party

          No, the Muslim Brotherhood is a homophobic party. The GOP is a party with some homophobes in it.

          1. So it doesn’t count unless you go full-blown “kill them all” ala radical Islamic extremists? That’s absurd. A majority of GOP members/voters do not approve of homosexuality and this is reflected in the party’s platform and actions. Yes, they’re not nearly as bad ISIS or the Taliban and equating them (as some on the left do) is idiotic, but that doesn’t mean there’s no problem. There is a reason why gay people overwhelmingly vote Democrat and why most gay Republicans have been trying for years to significantly alter the party’s platform, with a lot of pushback.

    3. Also, I missed the part where any actual facts were presented in the article to contradict the committee member’s claim.

  51. Tom Brady’s appeal denied by 2nd Circuit Court.

    You’re suspended, baby! Consider your balls defalted.

    1. I’ve been using my default balls for thirty years now.

    2. Yeah! Fuck that guy for… existing in the same world as the ideal gas law and refusing to turn over his private communications to his employer when they have no requirement for that in place.

      1. Look on the bright side, you guys should still be able to beat Miami and Buffalo even with Jeanine Garofolo quarterbacking. Probably even the Texans as well.

        Arziona of course is a guaranteed loss, and that was going to be one of the toughest games regardless. So it’s not even costing you much of anything.

  52. Long story short : My brother met this Brazilian girl (girl A) on Tinder. Didn’t worked out mostly because of the distance but the girl is a really nice and fun person, so they kept in touch. She happened to live about a mile from my place. She got a boyfriend, my bro went back to tinder. And everyone moved on.

    Last weekend she was supposed to match him with a friend of hers (girl B) that got dumped by her husband, and that is in need of some vitamin D. But since my bro wasn’t seeing anyone and girl A’s new boyfriend sucked, they ended up hooking up together again.

    While I was originally supposed to be just wing-man to my bro that night, to my great surprise, it seems that girl B, well… find the stupid fat hobbit to be funny and the pen pusher rich O-4 she was to be matched with to be boring and probably a bit pretentious. And tonite, girl A invited me back to her place (where girl B lives until she go back home in a few weeks) for a few drinks and dinner.

    So, here is my question, any recommendations on do’s and don’t’s with brazilian girls? My evening will probably end up with my browser in incognito mode, but hey, I guess I’m an optimist.

    1. Brazilian women are just like other women. Stare at their breasts for an uncomfortably long time and you’ll do fine.

      1. If by doing fine, you mean ending up with a beet-red cheek from a slap?

        1. Which cheek?

    2. Flowers and chocolate?

      They do the trick across all nationalities.

      1. “Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker”

        1. LOL. I hadn’t heard that one before.

    3. You know you’re posting on a libertarian forum, right? We’re all emotionally stunted rich men who hate all non-whites and are at least marginally on the spectrum.

      1. This is what really got me a bit confused with the : ” Ohh, Buta Yesss, she likess your humour, thinks you are a funny guy!”

        ”You… you do know I was making fun of your shitty country right?”

        Oh and hum… they are more white than me, a guy that was born between two Laurentia mountains next to a freezing cold lake, so I’m thinking they are not from the favelas…

        1. Whatever you do, be tactful. And remember this old proverb:

          A dick in the bush is better than two in the hand.

        2. They are like women everywhere, continue to be funny and confident and interested in her and you are more than halfway there. Learning a few words in Portuguese wouldn’t hurt your chances, even if you mangle it somewhat. It is customary to greet them with a kiss on each cheek (sometimes it is only one, and in some parts three). One sign of how much she likes you will be how much she turns her head when getting those pecks. Letting you closer to the lips is better for your chances. Oh, and they seem to be more kissing focused than American women. The beijo is revered in Brazil.

          1. I’m french-canadian. We go french with greeting women (peck on cheeks, unless it’s in a professional environment) and canadian with greeting men (we beat each other up, unless it’s in a professional environment, then we break each others hands, that’s our way of telling who is the best lumberjack.

    4. Hmm, don’t bring up the Olympics shit show.

    5. Brazilian girls? Better check and make certain that is what you are dealing with.

    6. something something Zika

    7. So much confuse.

    8. Is Los Doyers your brother?

  53. Somewhat OT:

    Less than a month after Gary Johnson stabs the LP in the back regarding heroin and opioid addiction, Team Red and Team Blue make him look like an outdated fool on the subject by approving a bill with the nominal aim of; developing, implementing, or expanding a treatment alternative to incarceration program.

    I agree, the bill is in no way perfect and generated largely as the result of scare tactics; there’s lots of free shit and plenty of places for bleeding hearts to draw paychecks. However, a bill on the President’s desk nominally aimed at softening prosecution and moving addiction away from being a moral issue makes Gary’s “I’m all about pot and only pot.” stance seem like a big shit-sandwich for the LP and/or libertarian principles.

    1. Was he saying that pot was the only thing he would think about at all when it comes to drug policy in general, or just when it comes to full legalization?

  54. I got hit with the “a vote for Johnson is a vote for Hillary” bullshit yesterday from my boss. I told him “No it is not. It is a vote for Gary Johnson.”

    “You know he has no chance in winning, right”

    “I don’t care.”

    This is coming from the guy who is commiserating over the “fact” he has to vote for Trump.

    1. Speaking of which, what do you guys think are the odds of a delegate revolt?

      1. In this election the only thing that would surprise me is if Hillary and Trump somehow merge into one 12 foot tall super candidate.

        1. Cue MC Frontalot’s I’ll Form the Head

    2. My reply: “If Team Red/Blue want my vote, they should run candidates who don’t suck.”

  55. It seems that Natalie Portman is going to star in a movie about a young Ruth Bader Ginsberg. The movie is to be called “on the basis of sex,” and it’s about the legal fight against sex discrimination.

    Oh, and you’ll never guess on what basis the director was chosen!

    1. Casting Couch?

    2. Hagiographies are considerably worse when the subject is still among the living.

    3. It’ll do shit at the box office and Hollywood will blame the stupid rubes for being to sexist to see it.

      1. The RBG hagiography should have been merged with the SJW Ghostbusters movie.

        Why have 2 small flops when you have 1 great flop?

  56. A friend had to oatmeal her feet because she wandered outside in sandals in Virginia, and apparently the skeeters are pretty aggressive there.

    Betting socks with sandals are looking pretty good now, eh.

    1. I live in a swamp in Virginia. I don’t plan to go outside again until mid-October.

  57. Heavily Armed Drug Cops Raid Retiree’s Garden, Seize Okra Plants

    “Okra busts like these are good reason for taxpayers to be skeptical about the wisdom of sending guys up in helicopters to fly around aimlessly, looking for drugs in suburban gardens. And that’s not to mention the issue of whether we want a society where heavily-armed cops can burst into your property, with no grounds for suspicion beyond what somebody thought he saw from several hundred yards up in a helicopter.”

    Wow, a surprisingly anti-Drug War article from the Washington Post? IS THIS THAT STAR TREK MIRROR UNIVERSE?! Is one of you going to come out wearing a fey little beard? Is Sulu going to mince around with a fencing sword?!!

    1. Sulu very much disapproves of what you’re doing to Ray’s work, Mr. Pegg.

    2. Article from 2014 and has been linked here several times previously.

  58. Showbox Download, Showbox Apk Download, Showbox App Download: Nowadays technology has brought a lot of changes in our lives, especially in education and communication.

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