Theresa May to Succeed Cameron, Evan Bayh May Attempt Return to Senate, More U.S. Troops Heading to Iraq: P.M. Links

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  1. She says she’s committed to seeing the Brexit through, though she voted to remain.

    Only Nixon could go to Chinexit.

    1. Hello.

    2. Now we know the PM aliens put in the zoo.

      Soon.

    3. Brexit is humped.

      May will weasel out of it. She’s against it, the MPs are against. All the people with power are against it.

      If Leadsom won, maybe. May will kill it.

  2. Oh, hey, we’re sending more troops to Iraq.

    Hope and CHANGE!

    1. This is impossible, because I’ve been told that NOBEL PEACE PRIZE WINNER BARACK OBAMA had ended the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. This is obviously republitard propaganda.

    2. We need to fight them there so we do not fight them here.

      1. I’m thinking that we need to leave them there so we don’t fight them here would be a good variation on this. But that wouldn’t be Open Bordery, so its a non-starter.

        1. Who are we to deny entry to those whose ideological goal is to destroy western civilization and enslave the opposition? I for one, welcome our new 85 IQ overlords.

          1. 85?

            Your generosity is beyond generous.

            1. That’s the regional average. And considering that we’re not exactly getting the best of the best, but instead about 40% of whom are illiterate in their own language, I’d say it’s probably lower too. But I’m a generous soul.

              1. I bet I could find 20 people from the Middle East living in my neighborhood who could utterly destroy you on an IQ test.

                1. Refugees, or people who immigrated to get skilled work?

                2. I was indulging in wordplay and snark. That’s all.

              2. but instead about 40% of whom are illiterate in their own language,

                That’s not necessarily a strike against them? an immigrant could be well educated and literate in English but still illiterate in their native language.

          2. IQ test results are normalized so that the average is 100 and the standard deviation is 15.

      2. Enough about Pokemon already.

        1. How are you going to catch the all with that attitude?

    3. They’re just there to teach minorities studies courses.

    4. Boots on the ground, boots on the ground.

      Lookin’ like a fool with your boots on the ground.

  3. Democrat and retired Indiana Senator Evan Bayh is reportedly going to run for office again.

    He’s got a good feel for the overall political climate.

    He “retired” during a risky year, and it now back!

  4. He also apparently scrawled the letters “RB” on the wall with his own blood.,/i>

    He really like the song “Friday”.

    1. Sloppy, Fist. Just sloppy.

      1. Pretty good joke though, right?

        1. Joke? You faking a seizure?

          1. Eugene’s seizures are NOT fake.

            1. MY KNUCKLE SANDWICHES ARE ABOUT TO SEIZE ON SOME CAKE HOLES AROUND HERE

              1. These masturbation euphemisms are getting less abstract by the minute.

        2. That was an awesome joke, Fist. I laughed.

          BTW, according to Jeffrey Tucker, Friday is a very libertarian song.

          1. You’re my new favorite. Your name will be put on the list of those to be spared.

    2. Ooh wait. I read Harry Potter. I know this one.

  5. He also apparently scrawled the letters “RB” on the wall with his own blood

    Rosebud.

      1. He’s a man. The appropriate phrase is:

        Mansplain yourself.

      2. +1 Reference to an Overrated Film

        1. Hey! Only The Greatest Overrated Film of All Time!

          1. I caught that recently.

            I dunno about “Greatest Film EVAR”, but its damn good. Better than anything Hollywood has made in a long time.

            1. What does Rosebud have to do with Armageddon?

            2. Yep. And if you’re innocent, it can be fairly powerful.

          2. And the film most frequently called “overrated”.

        2. Storytelling, perhaps. Technically, no ? it was a technical masterpiece that basically reimagined filmmaking in a lot of ways.

      3. Explain yourself.

        Dennis

        The most amazing guy you’ll ever meet. He’s always there for you when you need him and he’s someone you can count on. He doesn’t know how special of a guy he is. He’s like a warm snuggly blanket on a cold winter’s night. He’s the sexiest, handsomest most gorgeous guy! Anyone who knows him is lucky to have him in their life, I know I am, I’m thankful for him everyday. He’s stubborn sometimes, but everyone is. He’s the perfect guy to have in your life. Any girl is lucky to be able to call him hers…I love you Dennis!

        e.g. “What an amazing guy, I love him! He’s such a Dennis!”
        #dennis #amazing #gorgeous #sweet #charming

  6. That included the infamously hostile-to-disbelievers-especially-the-gays Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas, which has responded accordingly.

    I always knew Charizard was a homophobe.

    1. That guy makes no sense. He’s a flying lizard who breathes fire and exists in a world where dragons are a thing… but he’s not a dragon.

      1. The root of his hatred is low self-esteem, yes.

        1. I thought it was the 4x weakness to Rock.

      2. Just a Flying/Fire type, what a loser.

  7. Best joke I’ve seen about Theresa May as PM: If you have anything to say about her, just e-mail it to whomever you wish. She’ll see it.

    1. I feel like that was a joke in the Remy Obamacare song.

    2. Theresa May what?

      Wrote that one myself. Based on actual events.

      1. Wouldn’t

  8. Two bailiffs, suspect dead in Michigan courthouse shooting: sheriff

    Two bailiffs were shot and killed inside a courthouse in St. Joseph in southwest Michigan on Monday and the shooter was also killed, Berrien County Sheriff Paul Bailey told reporters at a news conference.

    “At about 2:25 we had a disturbance on the third floor of the courthouse. A person has shot two bailiffs, they are both deceased, and a deputy sheriff who is at the hospital right now being treated in the emergency room,” Bailey said in a brief news conference.

    1. Do you even Hit and Run, bro?

      1. I saw a bunch of race stories and moved on.

        1. You know who else should have moved on from racial issues?

          1. Larry Flynt?

            1. Those were some of my favorite issues.

              1. So, racially, you’re pretty cool?

          2. Half the commentariat?

    2. I guess we can see who doesn’t read the articles. 😉

      1. Crusty is definitely here for the pictures.

  9. He also apparently scrawled the letters “RB” on the wall with his own blood.

    What’s that supposed to mean?

    Rhythm & Blues?

    Ruth Bader?

    1. Red Blood?

    2. His position at the junior college.

    3. Roast Beef?

    4. Redbum, Redbum!

    5. Red Bull?

      1. +1 Vodka

        Sorry, no PBR with Red Bull

    6. Rivers of Blood.

    7. Remember the Baine!

    8. Righteous Booty?

    9. Regulus Black.

    10. Rekia Boyd would be my guess.

    11. I’m told that he died before he could write the letter G an is in RBG (red, black, green, the colors of the pan-African flag)

      1. Wasted opportunity. I would’ve just scrawled something cryptic and meaningless and let people obsess over it forever.

        1. Or better yet, something like “7 months, 14 days, 8 hours, and 12 minutes until” and then just die.

    12. Raining Blood

      1. +1 lacerated sky

  10. Theresa May, U.K. Conservative Party leader, is set to succeed David Cameron as British prime minister. She says she’s committed to seeing the Brexit through, though she voted to remain. May is also a major proponent of expanding the surveillance state in her country.

    You know who else was committed to seeing things through?

    1. Wilhelm Roentgen?

    2. The proverbial breakfast pig?

    3. Rene Blondlot?

    4. I know about some guy who ran on being transparent… Is that the same thing?

    5. Vlad the Impaler?

    6. Superman?

      Oh, that was seeing through things. My bad.

  11. The House will consider legislation that would override efforts in some states to force food manufacturers to label products with GMO ingredients. The bill has already passed the Senate.

    On the one hand: federalism. On the other hand, fuck you stupid hippies ruining everything good about Vermont by overwhelming it with your god damned busybody bullshit.

    1. Vermont really would be the ideal state if not for the hippies. Pleasant summers, beautiful autumns, snowy winters, mountains, nice big lakes, driving distance to several awesome cities as well as Boston, not too far from the coast, maple syrup, hunting…but those damned hippies.

      1. I don’t even know if they’re hippies. More like hipster SJWs these days.

        The last time I was there I asked in a chocolate/coffee shop if they sold the espresso they served and the girl responded with I decoded to be a ‘yeah, right. No. And even if we did you don’t deserve it’ smug hipster manner.

        It could be me but she didn’t rub me the right way at all. Rather than push it I just swore at her in Italian in my head in Italian.

        Cunto.

        1. It could be me but she didn’t rub me the right way at all

          That’s why affirmative consent is so important.

          1. Even MENTAL affirmative consent looks like.

        2. The last time I was there I asked in a chocolate/coffee shop if they sold the espresso they served and the girl responded with I decoded to be a ‘yeah, right. No. And even if we did you don’t deserve it’ smug hipster manner.

          Sounds like she’d make a good waiter in the USSR.

      2. There are plenty of normals in Vermont.

      3. Vermont really would be the ideal state if not for the hippies. Pleasant summers, beautiful autumns, snowy winters, mountains, nice big lakes, driving distance to several awesome cities as well as Boston, not too far from the coast, maple syrup, hunting…but those damned hippies.

        Dangerous, sign-free roads (meh), highland cows (plus), a disturbing vibe that just creeps me right the fuck out the whole time I am in the state (definate negative), gas station booze stores (ymmv), and… wait, unless those are Canukistani cities, I don’t know of any cool cities in driving distance of Vermont. Mind you I live in driving distance of Vermont (as in I know people who have longer commutes than the time it would take me to reach the border.)

  12. Dallas Police killer Micah Johnson taunted police and threatened more deaths when they had him holed up in a garage trying (and failing) to get him to surrender. He also apparently scrawled the letters “RB” on the wall with his own blood.

    This was before C4-PO whirred into the room and blew him up, I presume.

    1. C4-PO

      This is why I come here

      1. I come here because i have nowhere else to go. ?\_(?)_/?

        1. The Occupy movement is far too selective.

        2. At least use a sock or something. Nobody wants to see that.

        3. Nice whatchamacallit.

      2. Very well done

    2. If only they’d had that when Christopher Dorner was around, instead of having to firebomb him manually.

      1. Manually? It’s not like the SWAT team was using a bellows.

    3. +1 robot overlord

    4. Now that government can effectively drone-murder people right here in the USA, I look forward to wrong address drone-murders

      1. +1 Trial Balloon.

    5. Bad flashbacks to system shock 2.

  13. May is also a major proponent of expanding the surveillance state in her country.

    Every Brit is a voyeur at heart.

    1. What’s left? Cameras in toilets and people’s bedrooms?

  14. *Lights the Eddie signal*
    Nurse describes her arrest in Baton Rouge as ‘the work of God

    “I am a vessel! Glory to the most high! I’m glad I’m alive and safe,” she wrote.

    Wait, glory to the most high? I should have lit the Epi signal.

    1. You know who else was a vessel?

      1. The S.S. Minnow?

        1. I’d beach my Minnow on her salty shores.

        2. *** sits right back ***

    2. The Epi signal is hard to distinguish from a Laser Floyd show.

      1. Something tells me he would turn his nose up at a Pink Floyd laser show.

        1. If he was sober, sure, but when has he ever been sober?

          1. Only when he’s seducing your wife.

    3. This is going to be offensive.

      I am a vessel!

      “Empty vessels make the most noise.”

    4. “You’ll be seeing this iconic photo from #BatonRouge & versions of it, for the rest of your life,”

      The Elian Gonzales of our age.

      1. Who?

          1. Who?

      2. It’s a nicely composed image, but these idiots are blowing it way out of proportion. I mean, are there even any memes made from it yet?

        Now, if they had her on the ground, or were firing pepper spray at her, they might have something.

      3. Is this the one they are comparing to Tank Man?

    5. The charge is “simple obstruction of a highway.” If she did it, it’s probably because she was LARPing the civil rights demonstrations of the 1960s, when black people broke laws which they generally had no hand in making, because they were *illegally disenfranchised.*

      Voting rights are actually a thing now. They’re so much of a thing that the racism-hunters have to really stretch to find modern-day examples of Jim Crow Disenfranchisement.

  15. The Pokemon Go mobile game is a massive world-wide success. Within the “augmented reality” game, gathering locations like real-world churches are drafted to serve as “pokemon gyms” where players show up and fight.

    Maybe Wesley can actually manage to bang Ashley Judd this time.

    1. I thought he was banging the Traveller.

      1. The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man?

        1. He’s the Keymaster?

  16. So I did check derpbook this weekend.

    A few weeks back a friend posted a news article that Arizona had joined the suit about BHO’s school bathroom trans policy.

    At the time I commented that “If AZ has no current policy about this, why is it the fed’s business?”

    Yesterday I logged in and a prog friend had commented. “Basic Human Rights are not a state issue!”

    Using any bathroom you want is a basic human right?

    1. Yes. Our basic human rights are whatever is trending in progworld at a given moment. No more, no less.

      1. It’s a basic human right to marry whoever you want and have it recognized by the government and have approval of it forced onto everyone else!

        …unless you love 2 people. Then fuck that, go to jail.

        1. When Obergefell_v._Hodges was decided I told friends something to the affect of “The state doesn’t recognize polygamous unions, so don’t call it ‘Marriage Equality'”

          Most were not amused.

          1. I went further and pointed out that people were now OK with gay marriage because homosexuals were no longer thought of as icky, but against plural marriage because for the most part it’s fundamentalist Mormon types wanting to practice it here in the US, and it’s still OK to think of them as icky.

            People were pissed to hear that.

          2. Yeah. The government really should just get out of marriage altogether.

            If the kafirs want to marry each other after divorce without the one-year waiting period or want to marry more than two people or want to marry without parental consent, let ’em. Faithless infidels are gonna be faithless infidels, ya can’t legislate that away.

      2. Please please please go back and ask: “Basic human rights are whatever is trending on Twitter this week, right?”

        1. I ain’t going back, man. Don’t make me go back.

          1. Go to his house and exercise your basic human right to leave a monster finless brown swimming in his toilet.

      3. Other human rights:
        Conscripting doctors to work for you regardless of whether you can pay them
        Getting paid exactly $15 per 3600 seconds you spend in the building you work
        Gay cake
        Birth control pills
        Free gender reassignment surgeries
        Conscripting college professors to work for you regardless of whether you can pay them
        Being called by whatever pronoun you thought of for yourself

        Being a progressive must be fun, they have so many new human rights to fight for and more added every day!

        1. Don’t forget:

          – High-speed Internet
          – Tax-free (or possibly price-free) tampons and pads
          – Home ownership
          – The right to “feel safe”
          – Freedom from being offended
          – Having a man thrown in jail with a mere verbal accusation of rape

    2. Being perfectly comfortable in the bathroom is.

      (Unless being perfectly comfortable requires that you don’t have people pretending to be the opposite gender around)

      1. In that case, I want bidets in every stall, heated seats and a blowjob from an attractive young woman every time I take a dump.

        1. Is that possible? Or would she be mouthing your flaccid member?

          1. On second thought, I probably shouldn’t ask about boner shitting around here…

          2. Doubt not Zeb’s bumpkin powers, infidel!

            1. I’m no bumpkin! I’m witty and urbane.

          3. It is called the blumpkin.

            1. Fucking autocorrect.

          4. Oh, it’s possible. And “blumpkin” is a word everyone should be familiar with.

            1. Alternative title to “Terms of Enrampagement“…

              “Casablumpkin”

              1. I laughed way too hard at that.

        2. I’d settle for the floor not being covered in piss

          1. Why? Are you eating from the floor?

            1. Oh, look at Mr. Hoity-Toity over here

    1. I found something for all of us to be offended about.

      Why is there only one token African American lady in that picture?

      1. she has enough sass for four token African American ladies

        1. You know this new version is socially progressive because the retrograde black “everyman” character of 1984 was replaced with a clich?d large sassy black woman. I, for one, am inspired by how far we’ve come!

      2. Men. I bet all the ghosts are still white.

      3. Because this one’s large enough that she can stand next to Fatass/Fatmouth Melissa McCarthy and still look like Andre the Giant.

    2. That’s odd, because every review I’ve seen of it so far has been that it kinda sucks.

      1. I’ll wait until Kurt Loder runs the gauntlet for us.

        It’s unsurprising that the Social Justice Times has a glowing review.

        1. “Social Justice Times,” for the Win!

      2. Funny thing is, the controversy itself is the only thing that will give it any kind of staying power. Who the hell remembers the Conan or Total Recall remakes? No one, because those movies also kinda sucked but they weren’t the epicentre of a shallow culture battle.

        1. If there was a social justice remake of “Snakes on a plane!” with foul-mouthed, female lead, I would watch that in a heart beat.

          1. I’m tired of this motherfucking mainsplaining on this motherfucking plane!

        2. There was a fucking Conan remake??

          HERESY.

      3. I just went and read a couple. It sounds like it sucks but nobody really wants to come out and say it.

        1. nobody really wants to come out and say it

          That, my friend, is the speech-chilling effect of SJWs.

          You can’t open your mouth without being called a sexist.

          Enjoy this newfangled concept of freedom.

        2. That’s been my take, as well. It seems like a pretty weak-sauce remake that’s probably going to do better than similarly situated bad remakes due to the controversy it ginned up. I think critics are going to be hesitant to give it outright bad reviews, lest they be considered misogynist. (Plus, the Sony hack revealed that the studio pays for positive reviews, so there’s that).

          I, for one, have no intention of seeing it, as movies are too goddamned expensive these days, I don’t think any of the actresses are funny, and the trailers looked awful.

          1. I still haven’t watched any of the trailers. The whole thing seems so unnecessary to me.

            Though I did walk by their Ghostbusters car (and motorcycle) one night last year, and was a naughty boy and touched it. So my fingerprints are literally in this movie. And I’m sure it has some funny moments. Still don’t care, not even enough for a Saturday afternoon when it starts repeating on TNT in 18 months.

        3. So it will very quietly flop.

          1. Well, the good news is that we’re not at Khmer Rouge-levels of forced “reeducation”… yet.

            The market will speak.

        4. Richard Roeper is the hero we need. Headline: Ghostbusters Reboot a Horrifying Mess

          http://chicago.suntimes.com/en…..ying-mess/

          1. That they tried to reboot Ghostbusters shows how little they understand Ghostbusters. The movie was a success as much because of the pristine timing of it’s release as anything else. It was an over the top movie for an over the top time. If it had been released 3 years earlier or 3 years later, it would’ve flopped… badly…. just like this remake. Toss in all this SJW bullshit clinging to this movie like dingleberries on the ass of a chow, and you have a recipe for thoroughly underwhelming turnout. Nah, I’ll pass on this one.

        5. “I cannot describe how good this film is.”

          1. Ghostbusters is stunning and brave!

      4. It has 78% on RT right now.

        1. And yet it hasn’t premiered in theaters, has it?

          1. Based on early reviews. Critics get privileges that we don’t.

            Well, they get to sit through movies before us. I guess that isn’t always a privilege.

    3. Not a single trans person in the main cast. SHAMEFUL!!

      It’s 2016!! The main cast of every movie must be as diverse as 90’s children shows PLUS added token sexual minorities!!

      BECAUSE MINORITIES ARE TRADING CARDS NOW!! GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL, OR YOU’RE RACIST!!

      1. Hmmm…Minority Go! The new digital version of hipsters’ favorite game!

  17. To be fair to the Westboro Baptist Church, if any Pokemon is a sodomite, it’s probably Clefairy.

    Ditto is gender-fluid.

    I’m just waiting for the shitstorm when Jynx is found in a black community centre.

    1. I don’t speak gibberish, and google can’t seem to translate this.

      1. Are you regretting getting a house without a lawn right now?

        1. The lawn is always occupied.

        1. I had this conversation with Jesse yesterday. We’re only a few years apart, but apparently, I’m from a different generation.

          1. I think I’m about the same age as you and I also have no clue what the hell these people are on about.

          2. Pokemon was pretty inescapable when I was growing up, and it’s basically the only goofy 90s fad I experienced in elementary school that had any staying power. I think a lot of it has to do with it being in the right place at the right time, with the advent of the Gameboy followed immediately by way more common internet use.

            1. I mostly remember it as a show that little kids were obsessed with and some kind of card game that really nerdy kids several years younger than me spent a lot of time on.

              1. I wasn’t even aware there was a tv show, that probably would have blown my eight-year-old mind. Everything I knew was about the Gameboy games. Gameboys became semi-religious icons at Catholic school, to be hidden and worshipped in private.

      2. I’m a 90s kid who has spent a lot of his life playing vidja games, and I also have no idea what is going on.

        1. I bet you were one of those Metal Gearheads, eh?

          1. Not until last year.

            Nintendo, Final Fantasy, space and strategy sims on the PC; with those I have some familiarity.

            1. Hopefully you enjoyed the Phantom Pain. As someone who also didn’t grow up playing Metal Gear, I enjoyed it much more than the older games (that I’ve tried and failed to play through as an adult).

              I can’t believe you were a Nintendo kid and you never played Pokemon. Who are you?

              1. I tried the HD versions a couple years ago. Phantom Pain’s got better mechanics, but Snake EATEEEEEERRR for life.

                1. I’m with Mr. Titor: I really enjoyed both MGS 5 games (and still playing the online component), but MGS 3 was pretty damn great. Not as smooth playing as 5, but so perfectly corny and containing a lot of interesting mechanics.

                  And I also agree with Rhywun: Pokemon came too late for me, and after a month with tamagotchi, I was off the whole “collect em all” craze. Plus it started on Gameboy, right? Our family’s Gameboy was pretty much monopolized by my mom playing Tetris.

                  Still a Nintendo kid, though. SNES is the greatest console ever.

              2. I can’t believe you were a Nintendo kid and you never played Pokemon. Who are you?

                I have enjoyed all the Mario and Zelda games but Pokemon is for little kids.

        2. I had my second childhood in the 2000s and wound up with a wife 30 years younger than me.

    2. Whatever. Jynx’s face is purple now.

      1. And he’s not smoking a menthol cigarette.

        1. I lol’d.

          I never got the appeal of menthols, having been a marlboro red girl, myself (back when I smoked…cigarettes)

    3. There is no Sodo The Mite character? Opportunity missed.

    4. All of you need to get the Hell of my lawn, and turn that damn Rock N Roll down! And pull up your damn britches, you all look like a bunch of idiots.

  18. “If you haven’t been wowed yet by my badly-managed, perpetually-unprofitable companies, JUST YOU WAIT

    1. Do you know who else had a Master Plan?

      1. Denerys?

      2. Eric B and Rakim?

        1. BOOM

          +1 “nothing but sweat”

      3. My city council?

      4. Danny Ocean?

      5. Splinter?

      6. Ernst Stavro Blofeld?

  19. He also apparently scrawled the letters “RB” on the wall with his own blood.

    “If America don’t come around, we’re gonna burn it down.”

  20. The Pokemon Go mobile game is a massive world-wide success.

    We’ve now got people playing this game leaving their rooms and getting lost in the hospital (complete with IV bag holders, etc.), violating all kinds of restricted areas in the hospital – intensive care wards, “G-Contact” rooms (meaning, you go in this room without a moonsuit, you may literally die because you shit out your insides), etc. I expect to hear that we’ve got people wandering into our ORs looking for Pokemons.

    My conclusion: the entire planet has lost its frikkin’ mind.

    1. Oh, and our own staff is apparently creating locations in the frickin’ hospital for this.

      1. Sounds like you have a staffing problem.

        1. Just lie back and catch them all!

        2. Unfortunately, our staff consists of human beings. Waddayagonnado?

    2. My favorite part is that robbers are using it to lure victims.

      1. Robbers… meaning the people who created the app?

        1. Well done, sir.

    3. Iatrogenic infections for the win!

    4. I’m just standing back and marveling at it. Markets are a beautiful thing to behold.

    5. Huh. When did this all start? Today is literally the first time I’ve heard anything about this new Pokyman jibbajabba.

    6. Some people juggle geese, man.

    7. Meh. Get’s people out of the house.

      And into restricted areas.

      But whatever, in 5 years or so the obesity problem thing will be fixed.

  21. Researchers Try Grindr App to Give Out H.I.V. Self-Testing Kits

    The study used banner ads on Grindr to offer free test kits. Recipients received a kit in the mail, a voucher that could be redeemed for a kit at a pharmacy, or a code that would produce a kit from a vending machine in the parking lot of the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center.

    The test requires no blood; a swab of the gums produces results in 20 minutes.

    Of the 56 black and Hispanic men who requested kits and were willing to answer survey questions, 69 percent had not been tested in the last six months; medical experts recommend that gay men who do not always use condoms get tested every three months.

    Two men learned from the kits that they were infected.

    Wrap that shit up, B.

    1. I remember when it was a teaching necessary for salvation that if home HIV test kits ever caught on, an unspecified very bad thing would happen.

      1. I’ve read that three times…WTF word is missing to make that mean something?

  22. Cops Advising Against Pokemon Go Catching and Driving

    Even if there’s a Mewtwo in the middle of the highway.

    1. If I can drive down the highway (sans cruise control), operating a water bong, texting on my cell phone, AND eating a delicious McDouble Down… I think I can handle letting Pokemon Go run in the background of my phone.

  23. The Clinton Giustra Enterprise Partnership (Canada), a registered charity based in Vancouver, B.C., devoted $737,441 ? amounting to 78 per cent of its expenditures ? to management and administration in 2014.

    “It is incorrect to look at one-year expenditures in a vacuum,” the charity wrote in an emailed statement in response to a request for an interview.

    Very well.

    72 per cent to management and administration costs and 28 per cent to charitable programs ? is in the 2013 return.

    1. “It is incorrect to look at one-year expenditures in a vacuum,”

      Well, the money was sucked into a vacuum.

    2. 28% is a huge percentage for a Clinton-affiliated charity.

      Last year Giustra pledged $100 million to it. He seems to have come up a bit short on the donations. I’m confident, though, that if Hillary gets elected he’ll come through. He’s going to need the continued support of the State Department for his international mining and timber concessions. (Giustra is the guy who was involved in uranium mining.)

      1. What are you ?

        Some kinda right wing conspiracy?

    3. BS – United Way guidelines suggest that M&G shouldn’t exceed 25%. Now, that’s a broad brush covering a lot of different nonprofits – a school, a hospital, an arts org, and a food bank will have different business models and require different organization setups – but this is the complete opposite of how it’s supposed to work.

    4. The Canadian charity said it would be more accurate to look at the aggregate numbers for the period from 2010 to 2014, because its work involves projects whose funding is spread out over time.

      Those overall numbers show that spending on charitable programs and gifts to other charities was 84 per cent, whereas 14 per cent was spent on management and administration and two per cent on fundraising, the charity said ? calculations verified by The Canadian Press.

      Normally, when you fund something over time, you see expenditures over time.

      Maybe unless it’s something with a huge upfront cost and very low ongoing costs (no maintenance? no staff?).

      Or they’re using cash-basis accounting and funded the whole project upfront.

      But cash-basis accounting allows for all kinds of financial shenanigans (as this case illustrates).

  24. Prediction = Wildly popular photograph of “Black Lives Matter” protester will soon quickly lose appeal

    Why? Because the woman will start babbling about Jesus and the progs hate that.

    1. Or because you can look up her dress.

      1. Ankle doesn’t do it for me anymore. I need hardcore.

        1. That’s quite an escalation.

          1. Go to SIV’s blog and tell me that you don’t want more.

            1. +1 gamefowlsport or whatever the fuck he calls it.

              1. “Chicks In Their Underwear” is the name of my popular fashion tumblr.

                gamefowlsport refers to my handle here

    2. if ‘chocolate Jesus’ had a daughter…

      1. … she’d have the grace of a mule? Whoops, that’s the wife.

    3. I just thought that was added roleplay to the whole ‘Civil Rights era protest’ LARP thing they have going on.

    4. Wrong. The entire purpose of this woman and the photograph is propaganda to put a pretty face on the “Black Lives Matter” movement in the mind of the average dopey public, as opposed to the ugly face of that killer down in Dallas.

      She’s to be our new age designated Rosa Parks, no matter how laughable the comparison may be.

      1. We’re supposed to pretend that these people’s grievance is every bit as reasonable as those in the Civil Rights Era of the late 60’s. HEROES every one of them.

  25. Stingray Robot Powered by Light, and Living Rat Cells

    To create the robot, which measures 16 millimeters in length, Dr. Parker’s team layered heart cells from rats onto a gold and silicone scaffold that they designed to resemble a stingray. They then injected a gene into the cells that caused them to contract when exposed to blue light.

    By shining pulses of blue light, the researchers were able to control the robot’s movements. Flashing the light more rapidly caused the robot to swim faster. Blinking the light on the robot’s right side caused it to turn left, and vice versa.
    Using these techniques, the engineers navigated the robot along a curving obstacle course at an average speed of 1.5 millimeters per second.

    By studying how rat heart cells work together to propel the robot forward, he hopes to gain insight into how heart cells communicate with each other and generate force.

    He also plans to apply this research to the development of a light-activated pacemaker, which would involve injecting the light-sensitive gene into heart tissue so the organ can be controlled with pulses of light.

    Using light to pace the heart would “be a change for the whole medical device industry,” he said.

    1. By studying how rat heart cells work together to propel the robot forward, he hopes to gain insight into how heart cells communicate with each other and generate force.

      Or, he just really hates rats.

      1. Doesn’t everybody hate rats?

        1. I had pet rats as a kid. They’re far friendlier, smarter, and cleaner than any other rodent pet.

          1. Yeah, my pet rats would always clean THEMSELVES after we put them away. “Ew, those gross humans were touching us again!! Gotta get clean!!”

        2. Especially the damned tree rats that infest this place.

          1. That reminds me, I need to go home and shoot some squirrels.

            1. Euphemism?

          2. Can you recommend a way to keep those bushy-tailed rodents away from my vegetable garden? Everyone says that squirrels can’t stand the smell of cayenne pepper. So I mixed up some PureCap, vegetable oil, and added so much powdered cayenne that it was a thick paste. I literally painted the fence with it. The bastards were still running up and down that fence all day like they just didn’t give a shit.

            Yes, I’m aware that shooting them is an option. I do that when I’m home and have nothing else to do but sit there and wait, which totals about 10 minutes a day – not really long enough to make a significant difference in how often they appear in my yard.

            1. I put up an electric fence which seems to have stopped the woodchucks and squirrels, but the damn deer keep eating the broccoli.

            2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kXpWwt9ORc

              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzZ-iw5ssIw

              I like last idea? but I’d modify it to puree the peppers and inject some sacrificial tomatoes or whatever with them…

            3. My brother puts peanut butter in a Havahart trap and once it catches a varmint, he stores the varmint in a 6 gallon bucket with 6 gallons of water.

    2. “By studying how rat heart cells work together to propel the robot forward, he hopes to gain insight into how heart cells communicate with each other and generate force.”

      Bull-SHIT, you just wanted to build a cyborg. You can admit it, it’s cool.

  26. I’m seeing on social media that it probably was a deputy’s gun snatched at the courthouse.

  27. The House will consider legislation that would override efforts in some states to force food manufacturers to label products with GMO ingredients. The bill has already passed the Senate.

    “House Agriculture Committee Chairman Mike Conaway said Friday he would back the Senate bill, but isn’t its biggest fan. “After spending the past week and a half studying the legislation and meeting with agricultural producers, along with a variety of other stakeholders, I have come to the conclusion that the Senate bill is riddled with ambiguity and affords the Secretary [of Agriculture] a concerning level of discretion,” the Texas Republican said. “While I will never fully support federally mandating the disclosure of information that has absolutely nothing to do with nutrition, health, or safety … it is my intention to support this bill.'”

    So… basically there isn’t anything good in this bill, but I’m gonna back it anyway.

    1. But they care about free speech! And if you post anything to the contrary they might suspend your account

  28. The good news is that we now have automobiles that can fly.

    http://www.wsj.com/articles/fl…..1468202521

    The bad news is that they can’t double as submarines.

    Well, not yet anyway.

  29. Now, Pokemon is a comic strip of some type?

    1. [vacates Eugene’s lawn]

    2. What’s a comic strip? Is that what you used to watch at the “talkies?” Is it an old timey font like comic sans?

    3. I believe it’s some sort of hovercraft…

  30. Former NBC Producer Freaks Out After Pilot Calls Flight Attendants ‘Pretty’

    A United Airlines pilot committed sexual harassment by referring to his flight attendant colleagues as “pretty young ladies,” former NBC producer Betsy Fischer Martin (who is married to New York Times political reporter Jonathan Martin) complained on Twitter.

    Fischer Martin went on to suggest that United should train its pilots “to act like it’s 2016 not 1965.”

    1. Does Fischer Martin ever call his wife or daughters pretty?

      Welcome to Lake Wobegone, where all men are attractive, all women are strong, and all children are above average.

    2. Ah, ridiculous feminist outrage. Everything is back to normal.

    3. Surprisingly, she is not just horrible on the eyes. Usually these feminist hags are fat and homely and mostly pissed off about pretty girls having it easy. This chick is a thin white girl. I guess she just wanted to be this week’s example of first world problems. Or maybe she is getting old and missing the attention she got when she was young.

      1. Um, John …. She’s the one in the center.

        1. She is a skinny white woman. She has a bad case of prog bitch face but she is not bad looking.

            1. But what would you do with the faux-feminist egg?

          1. So, what’s your take on Christie’s wife?

          2. She is a skinny white woman. She has a bad case of prog bitch face but she is not bad looking.

            Uh, that mug hasn’t been ‘good’ looking this side of the Triassic. I, also, would be jealous of synapsids if trapped in a similar physiological bind.

            1. Yes, in reasonland every woman who doesn’t look like some comic book Hollywood starlet is ugly.

              1. Yes, in reasonland every woman who doesn’t look like some comic book Hollywood starlet is ugly.

                Versus the charmed land of Beergogglia, where being skinny and white alone can get it done.

                1. That sounds like a lot happier place to me.

          3. Reminds me of a joke I heard somewhere this past week.

            “Just like the Anne Coulter Flesh-Light… Which is just a plastic bag full of jagged rocks!”

      2. John likes em fat and cross eyed.

        1. That chick is neither. So, I don’t think this thread means what you think it does.

        2. I wonder what it would be like to sleep with someone missing a limb.

    4. The majority of flight attendants these days are usually 40+ year. He was probably just trying to throw them a bone.

        1. I did a few times, to the Bahamas, they were headquartered in my hometown.

          1. The food was terrible.

      1. Yeah, I’ve seen maybe one attractive one. And like mom in a car ad attractive at best.

        1. You have to fly foreign carriers for good looking flight attendants. JAL doesn’t hire exhausted-looking grandmothers, that’s for damned sure.

          1. Come to think of it, I think Air France had hotties. All I know for sure is that they served me wine for breakfast.

    5. I’ll have a Scotch, Sugar Tits. *slaps ass* *bites lower lip* *dons sunglasses* *masturbates furiously*

    6. I am going to depart from the other comments by pointing out that even “pretty young” women don’t necessarily like being called that by the men they work with. That said, it doesn’t help anyone to stick your nose in to someone else’s situation and be offended on their behalf. Those flight attendants are adults and can make the choice of whether they want to work around that culture or not.

      1. it doesn’t help anyone to stick your nose in to someone else’s situation and be offended on their behalf

        So you’re advocating for journalists and college professors across the country to lose their jobs?

        1. oh no, anything but that /monotone

        2. No, they should lose their noses. That’ll learn them!

    7. WTF is wrong with her face?

      She looks like a stroke victim with a lazy eye, or something.

  31. I can’t believe this is a story =

    Black doctor’s conflict: Saving officers, distrusting police

    As a black man in America, he said, he faces a dichotomy of standing with law enforcement ? one of his colleagues is a doctor who is also a police officer ? but also feeling angst and fear any time he passes a police officer. He described taking steps to bridge the racial divide, such as picking up the tab at a restaurant whenever he sees an officer grabbing a meal and trying to instill greater comfort in his young daughter about dealing with police.

    Very educated man thinks “Cops are scary”, when about “about 100 black people were killed by police in 2015“…

    I wonder how he feels driving a car

    1. He described taking steps to bridge the racial divide, such as picking up the tab at a restaurant whenever he sees an officer grabbing a meal

      “Cop shoots Black doctor making furtive move in restaurant”

    2. ugh. so many broken links.

      Doctor

      Blacks killed by cops

      the other thing was pointing out, “People killed by bees, dogs, or automobiles”

      1. You suck, Dennis.

        1. What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior

          1. Look, I’m respecting you enough to use the name you have chosen for yourself during your transition. Doesn’t that count for anything?

            1. And how’d you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.

              1. I’m sorry that you were GILMORE-bodied at birth and I hope going through the transhandle process brings your some peace.

                Please tell us the pronouns you prefer. We want to be sensitive to your identity.

                1. Please tell us the pronouns you prefer

                  “Comrade”

              2. I for one have received swords via watery tarts.

    3. Doctors in war zones have for centuries treated enemy wounded. And this ass clown feels conflicted about treating police? What a piece of shit. He needs his license pulled. He has no business being a doctor.

      1. I thought that people shouldn’t be forced to provide services to people they don’t want to do business with?

        Still, I agree he is an asshole and a lousy doctor (morally speaking) if that’s what he really thinks.

        1. Right of conscience is a one-way street, Zeb.

          1. If a Christian doctor said he couldn’t treat atheists, i would say the same thing. There is this thing that every doctor takes called the Hypocratic oath. If you have a problem treating people, you should not be a doctor.

            What is his conscience here other than he hates cops? We are not talking about a cop who did something to him. We are talking about a generalized hated of a group of people that has nothing to do with the individual. In a doctor, that is completely unacceptable.

            We are not saying he has to do some type of medical procedure he doesn’t feel comfortable with. Or that he has to treat someone free of charge. We are talking about a guy who freely admits he is in a lot of way okay with letting certain kinds of people he doesn’t like die. Just walking away and not caring.

            That is a whole lot different than someone who doesn’t want to do abortions. I don’t like cops either but I don’t let that feeling make me stupid or forget my other principles.

            1. But pharmacist’s licenses are safe as houses, right?

              By the way, you’re making the exact same argument MNG used to make. Congratulations.

              1. if a pharmacist said he would never sell to cops, fuck no. We are talking about a specific objection to one thing versus a generalized objection to an entire group of people. The pharmacist who refuses to sell birth control is no different than the doctor who refuses to do abortions. They object to the procedure.

                Here, this guy objects to the person. He can’t treat an entire group of people for any reason. That is totally different. And it makes him a piece of shit.

                That is very obvious distinction. And you know it. Why are you too dishonest to admit it? Why have you become such a hateful prick? You can’t seem to make a reasonable argument anymore. You just come back with name calling and dishonest bullshit.

                I still have faith that you will change back to what you used to be. Sadly, probably not today. So, I fully expect you to say something stupid and insulting in response to this rather than seeing m point.

                1. Yes, I’m the hateful prick here.

              2. There is this thing that every doctor takes called the Hypocratic oath

                Tin foil hat’s on a little tight today.

        2. Zeb,

          If you are a doctor and you find it hard to save someone’s life because they are in a profession you don’t like, you are a piece of shit who probably has no business being a doctor. Who else is this guy conflicted about treating? After hearing this, I don’t see how he can be trusted to be a competent doctor. This is a licensing issue not a public accommodation issue.

          1. So would you force him, at barrel’s end, to treat someone he didn’t want to treat?

            1. I am not going to force him to do anything. He is free to do what he likes. But any hospital that hires him is making an enormous mistake.

              If we are going to have lcensing laws, I think saying if you are going to be a doctor you can’t take entire groups of people and refuse to treat them is a reasonable thing. How can we have doctors who may or may not bother to treat people even when such care would otherwise be provided?

            2. He’s a trauma surgeon at a public hospital. He should probably get a different job.

              1. If that’s his job, it would definitely be reasonable and appropriate for the hospital to fire him.

          2. I wouldn’t even call it a licensing issue. He’s probably a competent doctor, but that sort of statement is highly unprofessional. I doubt RC would want him on staff.

            1. Considering the oaths and moral requirements that you take by simply being a doctor, I’d say that no hospital in existence should want him on staff. The only licensing issue that exists is the fact that doctor’s are immorally forced to be licensed by the state to be a doctor.

              1. That’s all I’m saying. The market will limit the employment options for such a person. And if some people want a racist, overly emotional dickhead to be their doctor, it’s none of my business.

          3. Reminds me of story about Ronald Reagan making joke asking emergency doc if he was Democrat after the Hinkley assassination attempt.

            Apparently that’s not such a joke anymore.

          4. I don’t agree with licensing doctors to begin with. The state has as much right to license me as it has a right to force me to provide goods and services. None at all.

            1. And it certainly shouldn’t be in the business of licensing on the basis of anything other than skill set and knowledge. If anyone should take an interest in a doctor’s life outside work, it’s his employer and his insurer.

            2. That is a different debate. But if the state is going to do it, I think saying “we don’t license doctors who refuse to treat patients out of some sense of collective hate” is not unreasonable.

              I would license someone who refused to treat people of another race.

              1. Considering it’s a state-enforced monopoly, yeah, fuck ’em. Make it painful.

              2. If the state is going to issue marriage licenses, then they should issue them to everybody?

          5. If you are a doctor and you find it hard to save someone’s life because they are in a profession you don’t like, you are a piece of shit who probably has no business being a doctor.

            I’m not arguing with you there. I would make a special point to avoid a doctor who said something like that. I’m just saying that shouldn’t prevent him from providing his services to a willing customer.

            1. Except that which of the other customers is he going to decide he can’t treat? I think this says something about his general fitness to practice medicine. i don’t see how anyone who is that emotional and nasty could ever be a competent doctor or one you could ever fully trust. And that seems like a good reason not to give him a license. If you are going to have licenses, mental fitness for the work seems like a reasonable criteria.

              It comes down to whether you believe in licensing laws. Regardless, this guy is a piece of shit and no one other than Sugar Free apparently will defend him.

              1. I’m only pointing out your rampant and on-going hypocrisy. But that’s a full time job.

          6. In the article, I didn’t see where he refused to treat cops. I saw this:

            “His voice quivering, Williams expressed regret Monday that he was unable to save all who were brought through the storied hospital’s doors ? and gave voice to the intense racial turmoil roiling the country.”

            This seems to suggest he wishes he’d been able to save *more* cops.

              1. I may have. I didn’t bother to read the original article at all, but just went on John’s characterization.

            1. Maybe you are right now that I look at it. The story really is about an “angst” that doesn’t exist.

          7. Hell, if you can treat people on the opposite side of a war…

            But yeah, emergency aid is a different beast from the typical interaction, since it’s quite possible that a mutual contract can’t be formed anyway — e.g. we don’t normally require consent for treating an unconscious person unless there is a non-negligible chance that a person might refuse consent in that situation. Which is fine.

      2. This is worse than a war zone, John. Black men are being killed by the tens. of. tens. every. year.

  32. I came here for more SugarFree “fiction”. 🙁 What happens when Donny gives the thumbs down sign with his stubby fingers?

    1. How can I know who lives to be VP yet? I’m a writer not some old gypsy woman.

      1. I’m a writer not some old gypsy woman.

        Argument of facts not in evidence.

        1. Indeed, there is no proof of Sugarfree being a writer. Though I will stipulate that he can choose to identify as something other than an old gypsy woman.

  33. Just arrived in the town where the hubs and I are going through our first (probably last) airbnb experience. Check in was supposed to be anytime after 9am, and we advised host of probable 3pm arrival.

    Halfway through our road trip there, the host texted us that her crazy soon to be ex husband wouldn’t leave. Several frantic texts from her later, I really wish we were going to a hotel…

    1. Complain about your room to BestWestern, get a few bucks knocked off your bill but don’t expect anything to change.

      Complain about your experience to Air BnB – and she’s basically done as a room renter.

      1. Seriously considering it. I feel sorry for the lady and all., and she says the guy left, but if he still has a key, it sounds like the beginning of a Forensic Files episode waiting to happen.

    2. “I’m sorry to hear that, we’ll be glad to take a full refund” ?

    3. Airbnb isn’t nearly as great as Uber. I’d rather pay a small premium so that I don’t have to wake the host’s dog up every time I get home after 10pm. Also, a hotel will actually change your sheets every couple days and give you fresh towels.

      I’ve had very hit-and-miss experiences with Airbnb, but they are the only remotely affordable option since I’ve been staying in the bay area all summer.

      1. Agreed. Things can only go so wrong with Uber. We wanted a house because my husband needs to play guitar through his amp to practice for a gig, and that wouldn’t go well at a hotel.

      2. Dunno about Airbnb, it sounds pretty informal (which isn’t necessarily bad, but it better be worth the price), but my dad rented his out out on VRBO for awhile. Most of the guests were fine, although children were always a major PITA.

        One group, a bunch of Filipinos scouting the university, threw a party one night. They took down all of the art and decorations my dad and his girlfriend left, affixed numbered decals, and locked them in a spare bedroom. They put down plastic in all of the public rooms. And then the proceeded to have a rager that left the garbage bin overflowing with empty liquor bottles and two toilets wrenched off their bases, in addition to the messes they couldn’t clean up themselves.

        Oh, and the art never made it back on the walls. But nothing was missing, so there’s that.

      3. Bay Area? Try a room at a frat house in Berkeley. I think we charged 600 bucks for 9 weeks.

    4. If I rented out a room I’d mess with people. Like putting porcelain dolls and pictures of Eastern European clowns (or clowns from Florida) everywhere.

      1. and hide speakers faintly playing creepy carnival music in the walls

    5. I have had one great Airbnb experience and one meh experience. The meh experience, however, really turned me completely off from using the service ever again: the front door lock was confusing as fuck to figure out, the windows didn’t have drapes though multiple other units looked pretty much right into it, it had a “view” of an dank alley, and the shower curtain smelled disgusting (I had to text the host to have it replaced).

      At least with hotels you generally know what you’re going to get based on how many stars they have.

  34. Here’s the Daily Mail on the Michigan courthouse shooting:

    “Two Michigan courthouse bailiffs are shot dead and others injured by defendant who grabbed deputy’s gun as he was led to the cells – before being shot dead

    “Three people reported dead in shooting at a Michigan courthouse

    “Several people shot outside the Berrien County courthouse in St. Joseph

    “Berrien County Sheriff Paul Bailey said shooter was ‘in-custody inmate’

    “The gunman was able to grab a deputy’s weapon and open fire

    “Employee with prosecutor’s office said shooting took place about 2:30pm

    “Two of the three people killed in the shooting are court bailiffs”

    1. COMMON SENSE GUN CONTROL &c. &c.

    2. So, pretty much what people were guessing.

    3. If only we had laws that required LEO’s to have their heads out of their asses when handling weapons, this kind of thing would not happen.

      1. Who did they have in custody, River Tam?

  35. RE: Pentagon will send hundreds more troops to Iraq following seizure of key airfield

    Oh goodie.
    The State had a surplus of coffins.
    Now they won’t.
    Isn’t Big Government thoughtful?

  36. Holy motherfucking batshit! Theresa May is the fucking Anti-Christ! Brexit was a nice moment, Brits. Your only hope is if that old bag someone winds up in the bottom of the Thames with concrete gestapo boots.

    1. Yeah, Maggie was a grounded hardass, not a soulless corporate-esque fascist.

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