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Airbnb Sues San Francisco, Hillary Clinton Talks Revenge Porn, Judge Dismisses Rolling Stone Lawsuit: A.M. Links

Elizabeth Nolan Brown | 6.29.2016 9:00 AM

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Large image on homepages | Alexander Farnsworth/picture alliance / Alexander Far/Newscom
(Alexander Farnsworth/picture alliance / Alexander Far/Newscom)
  • Alexander Farnsworth/picture alliance / Alexander Far/Newscom

    Airbnb is suing the city of San Francisco over a law that would hold it legally accountable for any host who isn't registered with the city. 

  • The tobacco-smoking age in Chicago rises to 21-years-old starting Friday.
  • Hillary Clinton said she would do everything she could to "figure out how we can give victims" of revenge porn the support they need, but did not answer directly when asked if she supported a federal law against it.
  • A U.S. District Court dismissed a lawsuit against Rolling Stone magazine alleging the publication had defamed fraternity brothers from Phi Kappa Psi at the University of Virginia, the purported site of a gang-rape in a now-discredited and retracted 2014 story.
  • A Cook County judge ruled that Illinois must ad post-traumatic stress disorder to the list of conditions that qualifies for a medical marijuana prescription.
  • Sen. Ron Wyden (D-Ore.) said he helped author the infamous Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act "to allow the internet to grow and flourish, and prevent lawsuits from crushing new platforms for commerce, education and speech." 
  • What Brexit means for British food.

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Elizabeth Nolan Brown is a senior editor at Reason.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    What Brexit means for British food.

    Broiled instead of boiled.

    1. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

      Dental health back to pre-EU medieval days?

    2. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

      Hello.

      "What Brexit means for British food."

      Please, not now. I'm eating.

      1. commodious   9 years ago

        "I glanced at it, but it rather put me off."

    3. Long Woodchippers   9 years ago

      IOW "There's so many damn regulations it's easier to stay in that get out."

  2. Bee Tagger   9 years ago

    What Brexit means for British food.

    Oh my do I hope this link tells me we don't have to eat it anymore.

    1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

      I've been to the UK several times, and I have yet to run into the dreaded stereotypical food everyone rags on.

      People also seem to overlook that huge chunks of traditional American cuisine were inherited from the UK, and a lot of their worst foods were a result of the postwar rationing. Prewar foods have made a comeback and the ration-era foods are dying a deserved death.

      1. Bee Tagger   9 years ago

        Next you'll tell me that not every Frenchman is coward in constant state of retreat. I WON'T HEAR IT.

      2. Brett L   9 years ago

        Uh. I stayed at a hotel that had the worst coffee ever. Worse than any break room or gas station I've ever had coffee from. Worse than hospital coffee. And the pub around the corner was terrible. It might just be where we stayed, but the only good food I had was Chinese. Now I've had home cooked meals that were great. They know how to do breakfast at home.

        1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

          Maybe.

          Might I recommend the Nottingham Belfry if you ever have to stay in that town.

        2. Citizen X   9 years ago

          They know how to do breakfast at home.

          +15000 calories worth of fried beans, tomatoes, sausages, and bread

          1. WTF   9 years ago

            Don't forget the bacon and fried eggs. The Great British Breakfast is awesome.

          2. Cdr Lytton   9 years ago

            That's fried bread.

            1. Azathoth!!   9 years ago

              There is something so deliciously decadent about a fried slice.

        3. You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

          Too bad. Every cup of coffee I had in London was fantastic.

      3. Citizen X   9 years ago

        Dude, given how many delicious things you've admitted you don't like, it's not all that surprising that you're down with boiled beef and suet pudding.

        I tease, but never forget - Worcestershire sauce started out as an attempt to replicate Indian food, which failed because Britain, and then got left in a basement for several months.

        1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

          boiled beef and suet pudding

          I've never actually had that...

      4. Shpip   9 years ago

        Heston Blumenthal (a sort of Jamie Oliver without the SJW twattery) made his London restaurant a paean to historic English cuisine. That particular place has two Michelin stars, so me might be doing something right.

      5. But Enough About Me   9 years ago

        Always enjoyed the food (there's some *amazing* pub food there), but when I first went in '96 their coffee was utterly undrinkable; now, they have the Costa chain for your morning fix.

        Unfortunately, they also have that over-roasted horror known as Starbucks.

        1. Brett L   9 years ago

          The hotel coffee listed above was so bad, we went to Starbucks and paid for their burned coffee rather than drink the free stuff. For me, that's the ultimate insult.

        2. Juice   9 years ago

          Is Starbucks $6 a cup (for regular coffee) like it is in Switzerland?

      6. rudehost   9 years ago

        I haven't ever eaten British food but I wouldn't be surprised if this were true. Food in France is grossly overrated so see no reason why it can't work in reverse. I did have some awesome meals in Switzerland.

        1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

          +1 raclette

      7. GILMORE?   9 years ago

        huge chunks of traditional American cuisine were inherited from the UK

        i'm not sure that's actually true. I think it depends on what anyone means by American Cuisine, which i think is mostly typified by stuff which we don't think of as "cuisine" at all. (hamburgers, hot dogs, canned-food casseroles, fried chicken, corn on the cob, etc etc.)

        Although points for use of the appropriately-evocative term "huge chunks"

        I've been to the UK several times, and I have yet to run into the dreaded stereotypical food everyone rags on.

        I think this is a bit like saying =


        "I've been to France and I was not molested by some chain-smoking chauvinist who, when rebuffed, launched into a tirade about how Americans are culture-less warmongers and are the source of all the world's problems"

        No doubt you didn't; i'm not sure it matters.

        I don't think there's any way to appropriately summarize the British food-apathy other than say =

        "Midnight Donner Kebab = You ate it BECAUSE THERE WAS NOTHING ELSE."

        Its not that all "British food" is terrible; its not. Its not that steak & kidney pie is itself unpleasant. Its that you find yourself eating it at a chain-pub outside Luton where they couldn't even be bothered to remove all the plastic wrapper before throwing it in a microwave and serving it to you. Its not the food; its the food-zeitgeist.

        1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

          Its that you find yourself eating it at a chain-pub outside Luton where they couldn't even be bothered to remove all the plastic wrapper before throwing it in a microwave and serving it to you

          Poor service is something you can find in any country for any cuisine. I wouldn't judge a whole category based on either its best or worst representatives.

          1. GILMORE?   9 years ago

            You're missing the point

            which is that British Food is not widely considered "bad" by the outside world because there's anything necessarily inherently wrong with the dishes;

            its that the British attitude towards food is traditionally one of apathy, complacency, disinterest, etc.

            of course its not always true, and there's certainly wide appreciation for all the ethnic food available in places like london. (*the curry is almost always fantastic)

            its just a culture quirk which you encounter in fleeting experiences as a tourist; or, if you live there longer, you get a deeper grasp on over time. it tends to reveal itself in little things. in my case, i think it was realizing that there was basically zero parallel to a "Local Deli" where you could get a cup of coffee and expect it to be 'not horrible'. Much less a competent *sandwich*.

        2. Timon 19   9 years ago

          Now wait a minute...just what the hell is wrong with doner?

          1. GILMORE?   9 years ago

            Its not about kebabs "the food"; its about the kebab 'food culture'.

            Midnight kebab is a ritual. if you live in london, you start drinking immediately after work. By pub-closing hours (~11PM), the next step is the "kebab shop", where most sensible people order chips. but if you're an american who doesn't know better, you get the kebab, and invariably end up puking it out.

            that, and the next day your insides feel like they've been occupied by Nazis.

            Then, a week later, you find yourself doing it again, and if you're American, you might ask = "Why do we keep finding ourselves at a Kebab shop at midnight"

            And the locals shrug and go, "because they're what's open".

            You realize that Kebabs succeeded in cornering the late-night food situation in london... mainly because *no one cared enough* to choose something different.

            Its sort of a symbolic thing.

            here's a shoegazy article from the guardian which may or may not say anything relevant.

            1. Rhywun   9 years ago

              I can't get past the early whining about how Thatcher destroyed Britain 30 years ago.

        3. This Machine   9 years ago

          DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT DONER KEBAB

          1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

            He said DONNER.

            That's where you eat your fellow party members before freezing to death. With some added veggies.

            To be fair, using doner kebab to defend British food is like saying that US cuisine is good because we have the best Chinese.

            1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

              Look, 'Chinese' food as we know it in this country is a far cry from what sort of food you find in China. Most of it should count as American cuisine since it was created here to cater to american tastes with inspiration from foreign sources.

              1. Animal   9 years ago

                Oh, come on. Next you're going to tell me that a deep-dish, triple-meat pizza isn't really Italian.

            2. GILMORE?   9 years ago

              "Donner (Party) Kebab Shop"

              Where you always lose one of your mates before dawn.

        4. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

          "I've been to France and I was not molested by some chain-smoking chauvinist who, when rebuffed, launched into a tirade about how Americans are culture-less warmongers and are the source of all the world's problems"

          You say this as if it's a bad thing.

          1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

            Rufus, it was France. The only reason anyone would visit France is for the authentic rudeness. Not getting the French treatment would be a waste of a trip.

            /snark

        5. Rhywun   9 years ago

          I think bigger chunks of American cuisine come from Germany.

          And they get a bad rap for cuisine too, which is entirely undeserved.

          1. Chip Woodier   9 years ago

            Just because it's called a hamburger doesn't mean it was invented in Germany.

            1. Rhywun   9 years ago

              Ich bin ein Berliner.

      8. Suthenboy   9 years ago

        Where do you live UnCivil? Perhaps huge chunks of American cuisine is the problem.

      9. Trigger Warning   9 years ago

        Clotted cream and strawberries on waffles. Yum.

      10. commodious   9 years ago

        I've been to the UK several times, and I have yet to run into the dreaded stereotypical food everyone rags on.

        To go by the article, the only reason Britons didn't starve to death decades ago is because Europe airlifted decent food and cooks there. Now, he's not crediting that to the EU alone, but it's pretty much only because the EU exists that Brits know what olive oil is used for.

        1. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

          Maybe they need to export their soccer players too.

      11. Eternal Blue Sky   9 years ago

        "huge chunks of traditional American cuisine were inherited from the UK"

        Not where I come from. I'm in the part of America where cuisine was inherited from the Germans. Sausage and beer, everywhere!!

        1. Long Woodchippers   9 years ago

          and cabbage anyway you can think of

        2. Rhywun   9 years ago

          Meat & potatoes FTW

      12. You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

        I think the stereotype is outdated now, but supposedly it was very accurate 20-30 years ago.

    2. Certified Public Asshat   9 years ago

      I like fish and chips. Roast beef and mashed potatoes. Um, what else can we give them credit for?

      1. Brett L   9 years ago

        Fried tomatoes with breakfast?

        1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

          Beans and toast too!

        2. Mongo   9 years ago

          I strictly do Indian food when I think of British cuisine.

          People ask me how I can afford food when I visit Paris and I tell them I almost always eat Lebanese or other Middle Eastern deelites.

        3. The Fusionist   9 years ago

          Toad in the hole?

          1. Citizen X   9 years ago

            Watch those euphemisms, Eddie.

            1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

              And I didn't even bring up the obvious reference.

      2. Rich   9 years ago

        Spotted Dick?

        1. Chip Woodier   9 years ago

          That reminds me...I need to make a doctor's appointment.

      3. dan'o en barrel   9 years ago

        I worked at an English-owned bed and breakfast. Loved the meat pies, bangers and mash, clotted cream with a pastry and cup of Yorkshire tea

      4. Trigger Warning   9 years ago

        Yorkshire pudding with roast beef and gravy. My wife makes this for me a couple times a year, and it is a beautiful thing.

  3. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    The tobacco-smoking age in Chicago rises to 21-years-old starting Friday.

    Dangers of secondhand childhood.

    1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

      Oh, very nice.

    2. Trigger Warning   9 years ago

      The age to emancipate yourself from Chicago and move to a non-shitty place remains 18.

  4. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

    What Brexit means for British food.

    I once lost 5 pounds on a week long trip to the UK. There's no better diet in the world.

    1. Citizen X   9 years ago

      I've heard a trip to India is even better. You can eat six delicious meals a day and STILL lose weight.

    2. Citizen X   9 years ago

      I've heard a trip to India is even better. You can eat six delicious meals a day and STILL lose weight.

      1. Citizen X   9 years ago

        That's it, i'm making squirrel curry for dinner tonight.

  5. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    This Twinkie in Maine Is 40 Years Old

    What began as an impromptu chemistry experiment in 1976 has left the small private school home to the world's oldest Twinkie. Chemistry teacher Roger Bennatti, who has since retired from teaching, began the experiment during a lesson on food additives and shelf life when a student expressed curiosity about the lifespan of a Twinkie.

    To answer, he gave his students a few bucks and sent them to a store. They returned with a package of Twinkies. After popping the first one in his mouth, he placed the second one on the blackboard. "Let's see," he said.

    Forty years later, the Twinkie remains, though its exact location has since changed. After leaving George Stevens Academy in 2005, Bennatti passed the Twinkie down to Libby Rosemeier, who had been a student in that very chemistry class and now serves as the school's Dean of Students. The Twinkie remains on display in a glass box in her office and has become, in many ways, the school's claim to fame.

    1. straffinrun   9 years ago

      I had a 40 year old Twinky. Ironically his name was Little Debbie.

      1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

        NO CREME FILLING JOKES PLZ!

        1. Animal   9 years ago

          Aww.

  6. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Nigel Farage Batters Obama: "He Came To Britain And Behaved Disgracefully"

    "Well ultimately let me say this, Vladimir Putin behaved in a more statesmanlike manner than President Obama did in this referendum campaign. Obama came to Britain and I think behaved disgracefully, telling us we'd be at the back of the queue. Treating us, America's strongest, oldest ally, in this extraordinary way. Vladimir Putin maintained his silence throughout the whole campaign."

    1. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

      If you like your European Union, you can keep your European Union. Period.

    2. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

      Obama has been a disgrace everywhere. He has lived a life where no one held him to standards, and it shows.

      1. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

        At least he didn't curtsy to Nigel Farage like he did with the Saudi King.

        1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

          +1 iPod full o' speeches

        2. Free Society   9 years ago

          Is "curtsy" a euphemism for vigorously sucking dick?

    3. Tonio   9 years ago

      telling us we'd be at the back of the queue

      Back of the bus reference?

      1. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

        More like back of the queue to board lifeboats on the sinking Titanic.

    4. Brett L   9 years ago

      I saw a clip of him on the floor of the EU chamber saying, "You all laughed at me when I said that Britain could leave the EU if changes weren't made. Well, you aren't laughing now are you?"

      It wasn't quite tears and lamentations, but it was pretty fucking tasty.

      1. WTF   9 years ago

        Yeah, that was awesome. We need a Nigel Farage for America.

        1. Rich   9 years ago

          Farage/Hannan 2016

      2. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

        That Speech

        1. spqr2008   9 years ago

          Love the guy in the front row with the cell phone video. Classy.

    5. some guy   9 years ago

      Wouldn't America's oldest ally be France? I mean, at least France never burned down the White House.

      1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

        It was, but then the Ancien Regime fell.

        The 5th Republic isn't exactly our oldest ally. They're kinda new.

        1. some guy   9 years ago

          I guess if you're talking about governments rather than groups of people, maybe. But where do you draw the line? Do we restart the counter whenever a country holds a national election?

          1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

            -1 Quasi War?

          2. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

            Some guy - More often than not I will aim for the snarky answer, or feigned obliviousness for the sake of 'humor'.

            Sometimes I even get a laugh.

            But given the number of times France has been overrun and remodelled both internally and by external fiat, I really can't regard it as being the same place as the country that supported a rebellion against their enemy.

            1. Chip Woodier   9 years ago

              Yeah, they aren't exactly the paragon of Libert?, ?galit?, fraternit? that they once were.

        2. Chipwooder   9 years ago

          Not to mention the fact that France's sole motivation in supporting the fledgling US was simply to make things difficult for Great Britain.

          1. Eternal Blue Sky   9 years ago

            Doesn't really make them "not an ally" though.

            1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

              Kind of like our great ally from WWII, the Soviet Union?

        3. Eternal Blue Sky   9 years ago

          True, but just because the nation fell doesn't mean it suddenly lost status as "Oldest Ally". The Ancien Regime was still the first ally America ever had.

          1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

            It did stop being allies several times though.

            So that lack of continuity does work against their claim.

      2. commodious   9 years ago

        I mean, at least France never burned down the White House.

        Well, don't hold it against them.

    6. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

      I agree. I was not impressed one bit about his shenanigans in England.

      This 'stay in just because' the left hangs on to is BORING.

    7. Suthenboy   9 years ago

      When hasn't he behaved disgracefully? He has never been anything but banana republic dictator material.

    8. Eternal Blue Sky   9 years ago

      "Treating us, America's strongest, oldest ally"

      France??

      1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

        France - and "ally" that has hated us more than it has liked us.

        The differences between the US and the crown were ones of procedure, the differences between the US and France are deeply cultural. This is why we have had fewer problems with the UK since the end of the war of 1812 compared to the number of times we've been on the out with the French.

        1. Eternal Blue Sky   9 years ago

          "and 'ally' that has hated us more than it has liked us."

          As opposed to the Brits, who refused our secession, burned down the White House, and formally recognized the Confederacy.

          I mean, at least France has never been at WAR with us. The Brits were twice.

          And things change, to be sure, but it doesn't change the fact that France was America's First ally.

          Like, you could potentially think that Fist of Etiquette's comments aren't that good, or point out that he doesn't comment near the end of the comment threads as much as he does towards the top, but that doesn't change the fact that Fist was the first one to comment.

          Likewise the claim to be "Oldest Ally" is not predicated on the quality nor consistency of that ally.

          1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

            And you deliberately ignore the 'strongest' part of the claim.

            And we have been at war with at least one French government, and in a de facto, undeclared state with another.

          2. Scarecrow & WoodChipper Repair   9 years ago

            Britain DID NOT recognize the Confederacy as a nation. It recognized it only as a belligerant in a war.

            The North had a helluva problem with the Confederacy and the status of the war. Prisoner exchange implied they were a nation. Blockade implied they were a nation. Britain merely took the logical step of recognizing two warring parties.

          3. Spoonman.   9 years ago

            We were at war with Vichy France and there was that whole Quasi-War thing.

      2. WTF   9 years ago

        He also said "strongest".

    9. Illocust   9 years ago

      I don't remember Bush making this many mistakes in foreign relations. He'd do stuff that was unpopular, but it would be his political actions not choices in language and social actions that would piss people off. Are the standards just higher for Obama because everyone spent his entire elections talking about how every speech he gave was delivered by a choir of angels, or is he really making more guffaws than Bush did?

      1. Juice   9 years ago

        I don't remember Bush making this many mistakes in foreign relations.

        Whatchootalkingbout? Bush was a terrible president and the absolute worst at foreign relations. The worst.

  7. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

    Hillary Clinton said she would do everything she could to "figure out how we can give victims" of revenge porn the support they need, but did not answer directly when asked if she supported a federal law against it.

    What has inescapable hole Bill stuck his dick into now?

    1. Trigger Warning   9 years ago

      Everything?

    2. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

      Yikes. That sounded Yoda-ish.

      What has inescapable hole has Bill stuck his dick into now?

    3. Mike Laursen   9 years ago

      I don't know why it didn't occur to me until this morning that Bill Clinton is very likely going to be living in the White House again (ogling a new crop of interns).

      1. Illocust   9 years ago

        And this time he won't even have meetings to distract him from his hobbies. How many sex scandals do you think will come out of the White House in the first year alone?

        1. mad.casual   9 years ago

          The Polygamy Moment has arrived!

  8. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

    The tobacco-smoking age in Chicago rises to 21-years-old starting Friday.

    Next year's headline:

    Shocking Rise In Chicago Underage Smoking - Experts Baffled By Rising Epidemic

    1. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

      Next year's headline:

      20 year old Chicago resident killed by SWAT team in raid over cigarettes

      1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

        Or choked to death for selling cigarettes to 19 year old soldiers on leave.

    2. straffinrun   9 years ago

      No, the tobacco smoking age will not rise.

      1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

        Exactly.

        Control vs the illusion of control.

      2. Scarecrow & WoodChipper Repair   9 years ago

        They act as if speedometers can be twisted to set the speed, or thermometers shaken to change the sun and wind.

        1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

          Well, that's how their climate priests work...

    3. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

      If I lived in certain parts of Chicago I would be smoking again too: At least 18 people, including a 4-year-old boy, have been shot since Tuesday afternoon in separate attacks on the West, Northwest and South sides, police said.

      1. some guy   9 years ago

        Chicago: At least we're not Detroit! Yet...

      2. Brett L   9 years ago

        Related, study finds that Chicago criminals don't buy guns legally.

        The study learned that virtually zero criminals have ever used the internet or gun shows, because that method is easily traceable. It's much safer for a criminal to acquire firearms on the streets where they're harder to keep track of, and that's most criminals method of choice.

        1. The Last American Hero   9 years ago

          Congress should get around to closing that "purchasing firearms on the streets" loophole.

      3. Trigger Warning   9 years ago

        How can they look at their gun-control laws, look at their gunshot wound/fatality stats, and conclude that more gun-control laws are the solution?

        Chicago is a truly rotten progressive shithole, and if you ever need to be reminded just how little value progs have for human life and liberty, go visit.

        1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

          How can they look at their gun-control laws, look at their gunshot wound/fatality stats, and conclude that more gun-control laws are the solution?

          There is a theory that unlike New York and Los Angeles, their laws are not harsh enough.

        2. mad.casual   9 years ago

          How can they look at their gun-control laws, look at their gunshot wound/fatality stats, and conclude that more gun-control laws are the solution?

          It's a culture of full-retard on this issue. Gary McCarthy (well before he left), in full cognitive dissonance mode, said; "they engage police in firefights because they'd rather risk dying than lose a gun and be killed by their gang. And we need to punish them sufficiently to disincentivize that behavior".

          The (now former) Police Commissioner figuratively said, "We need to kill gang members for owning guns because that's what the gang would do."

        3. Rhywun   9 years ago

          How can they look at their gun-control laws, look at their gunshot wound/fatality stats, and conclude that more gun-control laws are the solution?

          Because talking about actual things that might help is verboten.

        4. HolgerDanske   9 years ago

          How can they look at their gun-control laws, look at their gunshot wound/fatality stats, and conclude that more gun-control laws are the solution?

          Becase "Indiana"!

  9. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Insurance agent sues 14-year-old for repeatedly ringing his doorbell and running away after the prank caused him 'severe emotional distress'

    An insurance agent is suing a 14-year-old for causing emotional distress by repeatedly ringing his doorbell and running away, according to a lawsuit filed in Illinois.

    John D. Wright, 59, of Will County, filed a $50,000 lawsuit against Brennan Papp, 14 and his parents Sara Papp and Rick Papp, a fellow insurance agent at State Farm.

    According to the suit, Wright 'suffered severe emotional distress, severe anxiety, sleeplessness, extreme and rapid weight loss, and required treatment medication in order to function in his daily living,'

    1. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

      This guy sounds like a ding dong dick.

    2. Rich   9 years ago

      I smell a little "teach the punk a lesson" here.

      1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

        This. Or

        Rick Papp, a fellow insurance agent at State Farm.

        blew off repeated requests to reign in his kid and so John made it painful for both of them?

    3. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

      C'mon. The kid microaggressed the doorbell in his safe space without a trigger warning.

    4. Elspeth Flashman   9 years ago

      Whatevs, he should have just disconnected the dang thing and let it slide off him like water off a duck's back.

      1. Scarecrow & WoodChipper Repair   9 years ago

        The kid's father was a competitor. An interesting case.

    5. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

      Someone didn't handle school well as a child, methinks, and hasn't gotten a great deal better at it in the subsequent forty years.

    6. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

      Didn't read. Did he approach the parents to inform them of this before filing a lawsuit?

    7. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

      Everyone knows the proper retaliation is the flaming bag of dog shite on the porch!

      1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

        Shotgun blast to the kneecaps?

        1. Brett L   9 years ago

          Only if you're loading beans or rock salt.

          1. Citizen X   9 years ago

            Dry rice works too.

    8. egould310   9 years ago

      I hope smears the Papp family in court.

      1. Trigger Warning   9 years ago

        *dilated and effaced*

    9. Illocust   9 years ago

      Just cut the wires to the doorbell if it bugs you that much. People are familiar with the concept of non-functioning doorbells and will knock if they need your attention.

      You could also set the doorbell to spray blue paint on whoever pushes it. Put a sign above it asking people to not ring it and knock instead.

      1. Jarf   9 years ago

        The kid would probably just knock too...

  10. WTF   9 years ago

    A U.S. District Court dismissed a lawsuit against Rolling Stone magazine alleging the publication had defamed fraternity brothers from Phi Kappa Psi at the University of Virginia, the purported site of a gang-rape in a now-discredited and retracted 2014 story.

    Because publishing a false story such as that which resulted in actual harm against the fraternity didn't actually defame them? Really?

    1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

      I think they can appeal the dismissal.

    2. Tonio   9 years ago

      OK, I'm guessing this was filed in federal court because the frat is in Virginia and RS HQ are elsewhere. Lawyers - does this preclude the frat from filing the same suit in Virginia courts, or the local court where RS is?

      1. Elspeth Flashman   9 years ago

        It's been a while since my Civ Pro, but I am thinking you file in federal court because the other courts (state circuit courts, district courts, etc.) are not the proper place to file. Power to the toaster was how my Civ Pro professor compared it. Can't file in the state, it has no power to toast your "bread" (lawsuit). But again, I could be mistaken.

        1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

          Power to the toaster no delay
          So that everybody see
          We got to toast the frosted pastry

      2. See Double You   9 years ago

        Depends if the dismissal was a "on the merits" and "final."

        I doubt it. And if it was dismissed without prejudice, it could be brought in the same court again.

    3. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

      The victims are low on the victimhood pecking order.

      1. WTF   9 years ago

        Yeah, I'm thinking lefty judge with a "frats suck and the rape epidemic narrative must be upheld" mindset.

    4. LynchPin1477   9 years ago

      Supposedly the article presented things as "hypotheticals" and "allegations". I don't remember if that is actually true or not. The people who vandalized the frat certainly didn't interpret it that way.

    5. some guy   9 years ago

      Not only was it false, but Rolling Stone had every reason to know that it was false. Unless they had a National Enquirer-style disclaimer inside the front cover, they are guilty of defamation.

    6. VG Zaytsev   9 years ago

      The standard for 'actual malice' is impossible to meet. Zimmerman's defamation suit against NBC was dismissed for the same reason.

      1. WTF   9 years ago

        Yet wanting to reform that standard makes Trump an anti-first amendment monster. Because Trump.

    7. The Fusionist   9 years ago

      From a quick read, the fraternity's suit will continue, it's the individual members' suits which were dismissed. And the dismissals were because the particular individual plaintiffs couldn't show the article was "of and concerning" them.

      1. John DeWitt   9 years ago

        Well, thanks a lot. Now what am I going to do with this already lit torch?

        1. The Last American Hero   9 years ago

          test out the woodchipper to make sure it is in good working order?

    8. Chipwooder   9 years ago

      If I recall correctly, their suit was always considered the weakest of the three brought against Rolling Stone. The national Phi Psi lawsuit and Dean Eramo's will both continue, although the judge in the Eramo suit (who I went to high school with, and he was a major dickhead) just threw Jackie a bone by ruling that she doesn't have to provide any more communications because she's supposedly exhausted every avenue for finding them.

      1. Tonio   9 years ago

        Thanks.

      2. Tonio   9 years ago

        But what is it with women losing communications?

        1. The Fusionist   9 years ago

          The communications are attached to their car keys?

          ...is what a sexist would say.

    9. Illocust   9 years ago

      They technically had a source. Kind of like National Enquirer, having someone else say things provides a lot of cover for a news publication.

  11. Bee Tagger   9 years ago

    Cities around the world, however, are waking up to the headache of hosting transient populations in previously residential neighborhoods, and attempting to crack down.

    My, what a pollyannish world this is if that's the big issue cities are facing.

    1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

      Everything would be perfect, if it weren't for all these poor people spoiling the view.

  12. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Is Miami such a bad place to live? It's 'the worst,' this study says

    According to financial news and opinion website 24/7 Wall St., Miami is the worst city in America to live in. Worse than second-place Detroit. Worse than third-place Paterson, N.J.

    Never mind that Miami has warm weather, world-famous beaches, cruise ships, tourists, a vibrant multicultural community, Art Basel, fashion models, cuisine of all kinds, exciting night life, and a soaring skyline. Still, 24/7 Wall St. says it's better to live in frigid Detroit, based on number of economic and social indicators.

    The study found that "Miami's median home value of $245,000 is well above the national median of $181,200. However, with a median household income of only $31,917 a year, well below the national median of $53,657, most of these homes are either out of reach or a financial burden on most Miami residents."

    1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

      Well. We know where Nikki went, at least.

    2. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

      You mean stifling weather, mosquitoes, snowbirds, gators and pythons.

      1. Rhywun   9 years ago

        Thank you. Not everybody likes "warm" weather.

    3. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

      Living in South Florida, I can confirm that... yes, Miami is the worst place in the world.

      Fort Lauderdale's nice. I'm very glad I work there now and not Miami.

      1. Citizen X   9 years ago

        I was in Fort Lauderdale during the annual yacht show a few years back. Jesus Christ, that was bad for my self esteem.

        1. SugarFree   9 years ago

          Because your yacht is wrinkled, crooked and small?

          1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

            More of a dinghy than a yacht, really.

            1. Citizen X   9 years ago

              My yacht is prize-winning, but it doesn't have a crew of fifty or a helipad or a smaller yacht hanging off the back of it(, ladies).

    4. WTF   9 years ago

      I live near Paterson. I find it hard to believe Miami is worse.

    5. Atanarjuat   9 years ago

      Supply and demand is such a confusing concept. No one would want to live in a place where housing costs are high, right? Everyone likes cheap housing, like they have in Detroit. It couldn't possibly be that housing is expensive *because* people want to live there.

    6. Atanarjuat   9 years ago

      However, I can't imagine how cruise ships are something that would make people want to live there.

      1. Brett L   9 years ago

        People who aren't from FL love the shit out of cruise ships. I don't get it. But for them, the idea that they could just drive down to the docks and jump on a cruise ship to the Islands seems appealing. But if you live in Miami, why would you go to the Bahamas? Isn't there a Hard Rock in Miami? So you can gamble, lay on a tropical beach, watch beautiful people of the gender that interests you, and eat great food of whatever Island culture you like, and then go home, without the cruise ship bullshit.

        1. Rhywun   9 years ago

          We have cruise ships in NYC too.

          1. Brett L   9 years ago

            But the point is that you don't NEED the cruise ship if you live in Miami. You already have everything except being stuck on boat with 6000 people you don't know, at least one of whom is probably a vector for anti-biotic reistant something.

      2. Eternal Blue Sky   9 years ago

        When I've been in the Caribbean, the locals tend to think the only thing that's good about cruise ships is that they bring in money to the island. The annoying tourists are a source of money for the citizens, and a source of port fees to fund the government (the island I frequents doesn't tax its citizens at all, it just funds its entire government by charging cruise ships fees for docking).

        That doesn't mean that tourists and cruise ships are a selling point, though. It doesn't make life there more pleasant, it's just a necessary evil as a source for cash.

        1. Citizen X   9 years ago

          Some, i assume, are good cruise ships.

    7. Elspeth Flashman   9 years ago

      Detroit's second place finish makes sense to me. I hate it there.

      1. Private Chipperbot   9 years ago

        I grew up in Redford (went to Our Lady of the Ghetto for grade school) so I have a soft spot for Detroit. I just can't stand all the blowing smoke about how great it is to be down in the city. It's still a shithole with a few blocks of relatively safe houses and businesses.

        1. Rhywun   9 years ago

          I think as a rule of thumb any town that is all poors is pretty much going to suck. Which explains Detroit and Paterson if not Miami.

          And if the ability to buy an overpriced home is the yardstick we're using for livability why aren't SF and NYC at the top of that list.

    8. Eternal Blue Sky   9 years ago

      "cruise ships, tourists... exciting night life, and a soaring skyline"

      Gee, I for one never thought that urban sprawl, a massive number of drunk partygoers at night, and ships laden with annoying tourists was a GOOD thing...

  13. Bee Tagger   9 years ago

    But while local politicians in Reykjav?k, Berlin, and Barcelona are taking a stand against Airbnb, their counterparts in the United States have struggled to come up with regulations that have teeth.

    What a succinct definition of government this provides though. A daily struggle to stop people from doing what they want to do and are already doing.

    1. LynchPin1477   9 years ago

      It's not so much stopping, as forcing them to pay protection money.

      1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

        And establishing a revenue stream of fines and prison industry lucre from the people who don't.

  14. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    'NHexit' calls for secession

    "NHexit," named after the Brexit, or "Britain Exit" campaign, is a new movement that now exists to represent those hoping New Hampshire will someday part ways with the Union and create its own republic.

    At their first-ever event on Sunday night, 13 demonstrators gathered with signs displaying phrases like, "Get DC out of NH" and "New Hampshire Independence Now" in front of Manchester's Norris Cotton Federal Building, a structure that NHexit founder and organizer Dave Ridley said he "would like to see turned into a shopping mall."

    Ridley, 50, of Bedford, who has worked with the Free State Project in the past, said he aims to use the momentum from Britain's break with the EU to draw attention to issues he sees in the United States federal government, like high taxes and lack of privacy, and maybe even find a legislator willing to propose a resolution for New Hampshire's secession.

    1. Bee Tagger   9 years ago

      Can we call this overuse of the suffix "-exit" exitgate?

      1. Tonio   9 years ago

        Looking to fill someone's empty tiara, BT?

      2. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

        +1 Exit

      3. Get To Da Chippah   9 years ago

        Yes, and the movement to end the over-used -gate suffix shall be dubbed Gatexit.

        1. Citizen X   9 years ago

          Go stand in the corner, man.

          1. Libertarian   9 years ago

            Citizen X nixes extra exits.

            1. Citizen X   9 years ago

              You can go stand in the other corner.

      4. some guy   9 years ago

        Yes, but I'm willing to let Texas slide because Texit is just too perfect.

        1. Brett L   9 years ago

          What about FLexit?

          1. straffinrun   9 years ago

            If Canadian, Regexit.

            1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

              Quexit?

              1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

                Shouldn't that one have an apostrophe over it somewhere?

        2. Euphemisandry   9 years ago

          Arkansexit

    2. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

      I'd wait until Obama is out of power. Dude would love nothing more for a Lincoln moment to add to his memoirs and hubris.

      1. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

        Obama has to be really fuming now that O Canada's "It" Boy got put on the cover of a Marvel comic

        http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/.....-1.3655625

        1. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

          Marvel. No longer buying.

    3. The Fusionist   9 years ago

      Wait until the Basques renew their secession movement and we'll get a bunch of dumb "all your basques in one exit" jokes.

    4. Eternal Blue Sky   9 years ago

      "NHexit"?? Come on, you can at least be creative like those calling for Italeave.

      1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

        HNescape?

  15. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

    What Brexit means for British food.

    Exports of HP brown sauce soar.

  16. Rich   9 years ago

    Clinton said she would do everything she could to "figure out how we can give victims" of revenge porn the support they need

    Hillary says this kind of "everything I can" stuff a lot. That in itself should make people realize she should not be president.

  17. Princess Trigger   9 years ago

    Skynet is racist.
    http://www.nytimes.com/2016/06......html?_r=0

    Like all technologies before it, artificial intelligence will reflect the values of its creators. So inclusivity matters ? from who designs it to who sits on the company boards and which ethical perspectives are included. Otherwise, we risk constructing machine intelligence that mirrors a narrow and privileged vision of society, with its old, familiar biases and stereotypes.

    1. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

      The NYT is the nation's toilet paper of record.

      1. Trigger Warning   9 years ago

        My toilet rejected it.

    2. The Fusionist   9 years ago

      "Don't worry, I'm showing the computer this series of etiquette videos."

      "Those are NWA albums."

    3. Knarf Yenrab!   9 years ago

      In our heart of hearts, we always knew that algorithms are racist.

    4. Free Society   9 years ago

      A Skynet programmed to be a social justice warrior would be what exactly? White genocide bot?

      1. WTF   9 years ago

        Pretty much.

      2. Trigger Warning   9 years ago

        The death camp of tolerance is going to become a real thing.

  18. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Is this like a hate fuck?

    Hate Winning, As Clinton-Trump Race Too Close To Call, Quinnipiac University National Poll Finds; Neither Candidate Would Be Good President, Voters Say

    Democrat Hillary Clinton has 42 percent to Republican Donald Trump's 40 percent - too close to call - as American voters say neither candidate would be a good president and that the campaign has increased hatred and prejudice in the nation, according to a Quinnipiac University National poll released today.

    This compares to results of a June 1 national poll by the independent Quinnipiac (KWIN- uh-pe-ack) University, showing Clinton edging Trump 45 - 41 percent.

    When third party candidates are added to today's survey, Clinton gets 39 percent with Trump at 37 percent. Libertarian Party candidate Gary Johnson gets 8 percent and Green Party candidate Jill Stein gets 4 percent.

    "The 2016 election has increased the level of hatred and prejudice in the U.S.," 61 percent of American voters say. Another 34 percent say it has had no impact. Of that 61 percent, 67 percent blame the Trump campaign and 16 percent blame the Clinton campaign.

    "It would be difficult to imagine a less flattering from-the-gut reaction to Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton," said Tim Malloy, assistant director of the Quinnipiac University Poll.

    1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

      Let's not discount the lessons of the Brexit polls. When society makes it clear that a position is not allowed, people don't change their minds - they just stop talking about it.

      No one knows what Trump polls, I'd wager. The pollsters can't get a proper read on what the racist, mouth-breathing stupid rednecks who support him really think.

      1. WTF   9 years ago

        Look, everyone knows that supporting Trump is racist, because it just is, so why wouldn't people admit to anonymous pollsters that they are racist redneck yahoos?

      2. Knarf Yenrab!   9 years ago

        When society makes it clear that a position is not allowed, people don't change their minds - they just stop talking about it.

        This. Nixon was right about the silent majority--they may be beaten down and shamed by the SJWs and various other narcissistic blatherers, but their core values haven't changed. Between now and November, plenty of people are going to warm up to loudmouth nationalist Trump for the same reason that many libertarians have. He's obviously not perfect, but he's a firewall between the driving force of the economy and an increasingly unhinged left. He's also utterly ruthless, which is something the right hasn't done well since Nixon (though Newt and Rudy did their best).

        What can't go on forever, won't. Brexit was the first domino.

    2. Idle Hands   9 years ago

      Neither Candidate Would Be Good President, Voters Say

      There's no sugarcoating it.

      1. Libertarian   9 years ago

        I can see the campaign ad now: Hillary, on stage, singing "Pour Some Sugar On Me" as the crowd goes wild.

        1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

          *projectile vomits*

    3. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

      Is this like a hate fuck?

      I don't see any pleasure in it. So the answer is 'no'.

    4. some guy   9 years ago

      The Citizen Kang episode of the Simpsons has never been more relevant. And don't forget that when it was made (almost exactly 20 years ago), there was a Clinton running for office.

  19. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    Airbnb is suing the city of San Francisco over a law that would hold it legally accountable for any host who isn't registered with the city.

    But guests need to get the full San Francisco experience.

  20. Brett L   9 years ago

    So my wife and I went to get our drivers licenses and cars registered in Florida yesterday. I suspected this would be complicated by the fact that (1) I never got a Texas drivers license and learned Monday that I had ignored some correspondence that caused my FL license to be suspended for not having FL insurance in March of 2015 and (2) when we got TX tags for our vehicles we never surrendered the FL tags.

    It turns out that other than the 40 minute wait to be seen and the 2 hours it took to do all the things, it was a not so painful experience. Our government worker was cheerful, made conversation, and knew what to do. Also, not surrendering our FL tags saved us a bunch of money. They still got me for $150 to lift my license suspension. But since I never paid TX for a license, and I didn't have to pay FL for a license, I didn't come out that far behind. Net-net was about even. I even suspect that our DMV rep worked past the official start of his lunch period. It was like bizzaro world.

    1. Tonio   9 years ago

      Lizard people. Of course they'd start with the DMV...

    2. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

      Government services in America are actually not that bad as compared to other countries.

      In India, you would have to bribe the clerk, but the good news is that you would typically stay at home and send in the paperwork and the bribe through a middleman, and the license would be delivered to you at home.

      In Hindi, we jokingly call a bribe a "convenience fee".

      1. WTF   9 years ago

        I would actually prefer that to what we have here.

    3. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

      PLZ EXPORT SAID PERSON TO IL.

      1. Brett L   9 years ago

        I suspect the Union steward would set him straight the first time he tried that in IL.

    4. Agammamon   9 years ago

      There's a couple things going on here.

      From my experience, government customer service in the West (of the country) is generally far better than it is in the NE/Eastern Seaboard. Some of that is, I think, attributable to working conditions - in CT a 'new' DMV building is still a mostly windowless cinderblock monstrosity built in the early '70's while in the Southwest most of these sorts buildings are far newer and not of the 'Brutalist' school of government architecture.

      And, I don't know if this is the case in TX, but there's a lot of private competition with the DMV in AZ (and even CA!). The AZ DMV's has lot's of independent service offices which are completely private but licensed to provide DMV services.

      So there's a huge incentive to cut costs while maintaining service. I just renewed my registration online, can get a replacement driver's license online, can do most things online, and even though this is a county with 200k people and there's only one 'official' DMV office, there's still little private service offices dotted across the county, including one in my little town of 15k.

      1. Agammamon   9 years ago

        Oh, and none of them are union - that probably helps.

      2. Spoonman.   9 years ago

        Pennsylvania outsources nearly all of its DMV services, or lets you take care of them online. As a result dealing with this stuff is fairly straightforward here.

      3. Arizona_Guy   9 years ago

        Private auto title places are fantastic. Sure you pay an extra $10, but it's worth it.

        The only time I go to the MVD is to update my license photo.

    5. G?C   9 years ago

      I had the same sort of experience moving to FL as well. I was coming from an overseas assignment, so my only drivers license was German (my Alabama license had expired a few years earlier). It took three of them to figure out what needed to be done to get me my license and to register my vehicle (which had also never been registered in the US). They were friendly and as efficient as they could be in the situation.

      The only part that actually freaked me out was having to go to the old abandoned shopping mall that had been turned into government offices to get the odometer certified. It was like a shopping mall of bureaucracy...

  21. Clint Eastwoodchipper   9 years ago

    Hillary Clinton said she would do everything she could to "figure out how we can give victims" of revenge porn the support?they need,?but did not answer directly when asked if she supported a federal law against it.

    She's Hillary; of course she supports a federal law against it.

    1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

      Unless certain holding companies make certain donations to a certain Clinton Foundation...

      1. Clint Eastwoodchipper   9 years ago

        "The Price Is Right..."

  22. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    NASA's Juno Spacecraft Will Soon Be in Jupiter's Grip

    After traveling for five years and nearly 1.8 billion miles, NASA's Juno spacecraft will announce its arrival at Jupiter with the simplest of radio signals: a three-second beep.

    NASA expects the beep, marking the end of a 35-minute engine burn to slow the spacecraft down and allow it to be captured by Jupiter's gravity, to arrive at Earth at 11:53 p.m. Eastern time next Monday.

    "I can tell you when that completes, you're going to see a lot of celebration," said Rick Nybakken, Juno's project manager, "because that means we'll be in orbit around Jupiter, and that'll be really cool."

    Juno's mission is to explore the enigmas beneath the cloud tops of Jupiter. How far down does the Big Red Spot storm that has swirled for centuries extend? What is inside the solar system's largest planet?

    Warning: Autoplay video

    1. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

      And nothing else will happen.

      1. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

        FUCK, that was supposed to be a reply to the IRS post. I blame antisemites.

        1. John DeWitt   9 years ago

          Works here, too

        2. John DeWitt   9 years ago

          Works here, too

          1. Yusef Adama   9 years ago

            So do the Squirells

            1. Yusef Adama   9 years ago

              or Squirrels

      2. bacon-magic   9 years ago

        Spacist.

    2. OBJ FRANKELSON   9 years ago

      Would have been cooler if they tried aero-braking into orbit.

      1. Agammamon   9 years ago

        Too much mass required, they'd have never been able to get there in the first place - references to 2010 notwithstanding.

  23. Idle Hands   9 years ago

    The IRS might have broken the law after all:

    Recently obtained documents raise new questions about Lois Lerner's role in sending confidential tax returns to the Justice Department.
    "It took an organization over 50 months of investigation and multiple lawsuits to get clarity on the IRS's own compliance with the rules it enforces against others," says Dan Epstein, the executive director of the Cause of Action Institute and a former attorney for the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform. "The IRS, in the midst of its political targeting of groups engaged in policy advocacy, was engaging in the disclosure of millions of records aimed at ginning up prosecutions of these groups without going through the legally required channels." Federal law prohibits the IRS from sharing tax returns filed with the agency, with very limited exceptions. "The IRS has a special obligation to keep information confidential, that's how our tax system works," says Eileen O'Connor, who served as assistant attorney general for the tax division of the DOJ in the George W. Bush administration.

    1. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

      I'm pretty sure, at this point, even government agencies and bureaucrats break some law in the books given there are so many of them.

      1. John DeWitt   9 years ago

        Yes, at this point, what does it matter?

    2. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

      As Renegade says, nothing will happen. Because there is not a smidgen of corruption because the parties involved are Democrats, who we know are honest folks who stand for the people.

    3. Illocust   9 years ago

      And nothing else happened.

      Seriously, this will either become the new national normal and stop being news, or this is all going to blow up at once and we are going to see Hillary and a ton of other bureaucrats being hauled off to prison. I really can't tell which way it is going to go.

  24. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

    Sen. Ron Wyden (D-Ore.) said he helped author the infamous Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act

    There are not many on Team Blue who have any worth as human beings. Wyden is one of them.

    1. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

      I can't think of another one.

      Then again, with Rand Paul going full retard lately, the only one I can think of on the right is Amash.

      1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

        Massie?

        1. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

          Amash, Massie, and on even-numbered days Mike Lee.

      2. Libertarian   9 years ago

        "with Rand Paul going full retard lately"

        What? Have I missed something?

        1. Chipwooder   9 years ago

          Rand does a few things here and there that make me cringe, but what is he doing that's full retard?

      3. Elspeth Flashman   9 years ago

        Amash is looking for a Communications Director in the Washington office. Go for it!

  25. LynchPin1477   9 years ago

    Has anyone started complaining that "It's easier to buy a gun than to rent your house on Airbnb in San Francisco" yet?

    1. Citizen X   9 years ago

      I did, but i don't think my dog was paying attention.

    2. Libertarian   9 years ago

      Chicago is making it easier to actually shoot someone than to smoke a cigarette.

      1. Agammamon   9 years ago

        Look at the bright side - at least lung-cancer deaths will be down.

  26. Citizen X   9 years ago

    Hillary Clinton said she would do everything she could to "figure out how we can give victims" of revenge porn the support they need, but did not answer directly when asked if she supported a federal law against it.

    She wants to keep her options open.

    1. commodious   9 years ago

      "Laws? Like for little people?"

      1. Citizen X   9 years ago

        "I don't understand the question, and i refuse to respond."

        1. commodious   9 years ago

          +1 Ike and Tina tuna platter

  27. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    So he drives like my father-in-law:

    Driver's poor decisions take car down steep concrete stairs

    A video posted to Facebook by Bjorn Knorst shows a driver at Ravelin V park in Saarlouis with one wheel over the edge of a steep staircase.

    The driver takes a moment to decide how to address the situation and apparently decides to try going down the stairs rather than reversing back onto flat ground.

    The car bounces violently down the steep steps but appears still able to drive at the bottom.

    Reports indicate the driver was a 79-year-old man who ignored rainfall warnings in the area and his car slid on the slippery surface to end up in its precarious position at the start of the video. Damage to the car will reportedly cost several thousand dollars to repair.

  28. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Your larf for the day: 'Name That Tune' on Hello Kitty Drum Kit

    Warning: lots of f-bombs.

    1. This Machine   9 years ago

      Dude! I fucking love Mike Portnoy! Shame he was a dick and left Dream Theater, though. The new guy is pretty good, I'll admit it. But he's no Mike Portnoy,

  29. Palin's Buttplug   9 years ago

    Washington (CNN)The U.S. Chamber of Commerce and the National Association of Manufacturers ? two powerful business lobbies both traditionally supportive of Republican candidates -- took the highly unusual step of lashing out at presumptive GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump during his speech Tuesday that hammered U.S. free-trade deals.

    "Under Trump's trade plans, we would see higher prices, fewer jobs, and a weaker economy," the Chamber tweeted during the speech in Monessen, Pennsylvania, linking to an analysis that argues Trump's trade positions would throw the United States into an economic recession.
    View image on Twitter

    http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/28/.....index.html

    This fucking idiot is going to get slaughtered in the general.

    WAY TO GO TEAM RED!

    1. Tonio   9 years ago

      Did you pay up yet, Turd?

      1. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

        I bet Trump would have paid up by now.

        1. Idle Hands   9 years ago

          Nah he would have declared bankruptcy and lawyered up.

          1. Citizen X   9 years ago

            Shreek is only emotionally, intellectually, and morally bankrupt. NOT financially, at least not since his mom paid him $20 for cutting her lawn last week.

            1. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

              The 20 he still owes on the bet he lost?

              1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

                Already spent on comic books and a bottle of Orange Crush.

                1. Citizen X   9 years ago

                  His favorite superhero is Aquaman.

                2. Libertarian   9 years ago

                  You inspired me to read REM's lyrics to Orange Crush. Are they supposed to mean anything? Anything at all?

                  1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

                    +1 spine?

                  2. Agammamon   9 years ago

                    Do any of their lyric mean anything?

                3. Illocust   9 years ago

                  Hey, comics are way too intellectual for PB. He's much more See Spot Run.

          2. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

            touche

      2. WTF   9 years ago

        He can't pay, he spent it all on cake.

    2. Citizen X   9 years ago

      Your boy Jeb will do better in the general, don't worry.

      1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

        Backed by all that money made on shorting gold!

        1. straffinrun   9 years ago

          He made a killing by going long on laughing stock.

          1. This Machine   9 years ago

            *falls out of chair, limps up immediately to begin roaring ovation*

            1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

              *joins*

    3. Suthenboy   9 years ago

      Because the economy is doing so well now under these fuckwit's plan. Uh huh.

      This is akin to all of the losers and the establishment telling Trump after he beat them that 'ok, now you have to start listening to us and stop doing things your way'.

    4. John DeWitt   9 years ago

      Shit analysis on your part. When have facts ever trumped emotions in the general election?

  30. Idle Hands   9 years ago

    Did FBI and Justice Dept. Enable Puerto Rico's Financial Meltdown?

    SAN JUAN/TEMECULA?The ongoing controversy over Puerto Rico's insolvency and efforts to enlist congressional support for legal bankruptcy protection for the U.S. territory have resulted in fingers being pointed at the local Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI). Puerto Rico U.S. Attorney's office is also under fire for an alleged failure to investigate and prevent a reportedly massive fraud that may have contributed to the island's financial crisis.

    I am CEO of Commercial Solar Power, Inc., a company that was reportedly forced into bankruptcy by what has been described as the "bizarre behavior" of the Puerto Rico Electric Power Authority (PREPA), which has been used to redirect as much as $100 million a year from the people of Puerto Rico to select government officials.

    On February 24, 2015, a private lawsuit was filed using the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act (RICO), claiming government officials at PREPA stole over one billion dollars in public money over 10 years and committed one of the largest municipal bond frauds in United States history.

    1. Tonio   9 years ago

      A RICO suit against the government - how charmingly naive.

      1. Idle Hands   9 years ago

        I laughed.

      2. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

        LOL. That would be like the DOJ going antitrust against government monopolies.

  31. Rich   9 years ago

    Utah's Misty Snow makes history as Dems' transgender Senate nominee

    ... makes history as Dems' schizophrenic Senate nominee

    ... makes history as Dems' separated-conjoined-twin Senate nominee

    ... makes history as Dems' terminally-ill Senate nominee

    ...

    1. Idle Hands   9 years ago

      The identity politics super weapon of the 21st century.

    2. Tonio   9 years ago

      Wait, they have their own senate now?

    3. Tonio   9 years ago

      You missed the best part, Rich: Snow is a strong progressive and transgender woman...

      1. ant1sthenes   9 years ago

        I thought he was a l'Cie?

    4. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

      ...makes history as Dems' comatose-challenged nominee.

      Wait a second. My bad. Been done.

    5. Suthenboy   9 years ago

      I really don't give a shit if some dude wants to cut his dick of and change his name to Pinky-pie, I really don't. It is none of my business and I am not really qualified to have a say over how someone lives their life. Hell, I wouldn't want a say even if I was qualified.

      However, I am getting a bit worn out on hearing about this shit. It really does have the feel of someone trying to cram this nonsense down my throat. If they keep it up they may find a lot of people like me will get enough and shut them down.

      1. Knarf Yenrab!   9 years ago

        If they didn't try to cram some new protected class bullshit down your throat every couple of years, SJWs wouldn't have any way of asserting their moral dominance over you.

    6. SugarFree   9 years ago

      Ugly Man Becomes Ugly Woman, No Film At 11

  32. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Trader Joe's
    Churchman Comes to the Supermarket

    What I can't stand are the other customers. Our local branch in Old Town, Alexandria, Virginia, is the kind of place where it is common to see four grown men in shorts stop and chat together.

    "Oh, hi!"

    "Heeeello."

    "Oh my gosh."

    "WOWWWW!"

    They proceed to talk loudly about bicycles for at least 10 minutes, blocking the aisles and smiling with that cheerful obliviousness that only childless upper-middle-class white people have. This is not going well for me. I'm already on edge because on my way in I saw another adult male specimen of Homo sapiens in lime green spandex ask one of the clerks for water for his dog, whom he had presumably just taken by cycle. I want to say something rude to these people, but I have to move on because my infant daughter and I are getting stuff for a proposed barbecue. The first thing on my mental list is a case of Coors. We scan the alcohol shelves. All the beers have quaint packaging and names like "Hoptimization." I ask the clerk whether the Banquet Beer is in stock.

    1. Tonio   9 years ago

      blocking the aisles and smiling with that cheerful obliviousness that only childless upper-middle-class white people have

      LOL. No. Soccer moms, old people, and black church ladies also repeat offenders.

      1. Citizen X   9 years ago

        Black church ladies have those awesome hats, though.

        Old Town, Alexandria, Virginia

        I think i see the problem.

      2. lap83   9 years ago

        At the supermarket, at least, people with families are less likely to "hang out".

    2. Idle Hands   9 years ago

      Trader Joe's sucks.

      1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

        *clutches bottle of 2 Buck Chuck*

        YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

    3. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

      The worst, the absolute WORST are the Sunday family grocery store outings by Mexicans and Asians. Total blockage and obliviousness. When two groups meet up and coalesce, the problem gets infinitely worse. When I'm trapped in an aisle between two clusters of Asians, I can't help but think, "You even walk as badly as you drive."

      I avoid WF because of the upper class moms with extra wide strollers who park them in the middle of the asle why they determine gluten content of different brands of bottled water.

      1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

        There is a small, local chain that has excellent fruit and vegetables, and often very reasonable meat*, etc, so I am there at least once a week. It also has narrow aisles. It also has tiny carts for little kids to push around, which are a disaster (I do not blame the kids for wanting to push the carts, I blame everyone else). Narrow aisles,tiny carts for little kids and the elderly make for a terrible combination.

        *My college nickname.

        1. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

          Yeah, here that's Garden Fresh, a great market with the worst examples of the Sino-Mexican clusters.

        2. WTF   9 years ago

          *My college nickname.

          very reasonable meat?

      2. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

        Absolutely. My wife is from Korea and she still has no idea how to behave in a crowd in the U.S. To her, there is no reason that you shouldn't push/shove your way to wherever it is that you want to go. The reverse is true. When we go back to Korea or Asia, I am always hopelessly left behind her and her family because I am a Minnesodan and I keep thinking that pretty soon there will be a gap where I can walk without having to bump/be bumped.

        One of the stories from my marriage that still makes my wife mad is the time we were grocery shopping together and she had just cut off an elderly guy (who was shopping with his wife) for about the fourth time and I looked at him and told him to "hit her, it is the only way she is going to learn." We both laughed and my wife filed it away as "Exhibit 4033. Another time you failed to support me in public."

        1. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

          My favorite grocery story was the time I was in Glick's, a (((grocery))) in Del Boca Vista (I was visiting my mother there). I was in the checkout line, about 2 or 3 customers back. Behind me was an elderly (((woman))) with her shopping cart. Every 15 or 20 seconds, she would bump me on the ass with that cart. I would turn around and glare at her and she'd look away. After the seventh or eighth time she bumped me, I spun around grabbed the cart, yanked it out of her bejeweled talons, and snapped, "Lady, you can keep trying but I guarantee you it's not going to fit up there!"

          She changed lines.

          1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

            Fact: it is impossible to pronounce Del Boca Vista.

          2. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

            What's with Aquaman's telepathic parenthesis?

    4. Libertarian   9 years ago

      "another adult male specimen of Homo sapiens in lime green spandex ask one of the clerks for water for his dog,"

      "Hi, this is my dog that I'm supposed to take care of but I can't think ahead. It's summer and it's hot, so even though you're being paid to work here, would you take some of your time to get me some water since my time is so much more valuable than yours?"

      1. Juice   9 years ago

        Oh he thought ahead. "I'll just ask the nice clerk to get me some water."

    5. Agammamon   9 years ago

      Oh dear golly gee! Some of the dudes that shop at Trader Joe's aren't the lye-washed, straight-laced, bowl-cut, high school football loving narcisists that the writer is.

      He chooses a crowded time to shop and then is upset that the store is crowded and its crowded with *people not like him*!

      I mean, seriously. A grown man goes to the store to pick up multiple items but is so discomfited by a dude in spandex and the lack of Coors that he walks away empty handed? He couldn't have gotten everything else and then stopped at the liquor store drive-through on the way home? If you just want Coors, its pretty fucking insane to go to TJ as they are not only fucking expensive but their *whole reason for existing* is because they sell shit you won't find in regular grocery stores.

      Otherwise you'd just go to fucking Walmart and get it cheaper.

    6. Krapulent Kristen   9 years ago

      Author needs to go to the Old Town Whore Foods. So, so much worse than Joe's.

  33. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

    Marines responding to Benghazi were held up by debate on weapons and uniforms, commander says

    "We were told multiple times to change what we were wearing, to change from cammies into civilian attire, civilian attire into cammies, cammies into civilian attire," the platoon commander, who was not identified, told the committee. "There was also some talk of whether or not we could carry our personal weapons.

    "I was basically holding hard and fast to the point where we were carrying our personal weapons. Like, we've got a very violent thing going on the ground where we're going, so we're going to be carrying something that can protect ourselves. But as far as what the Marines were wearing, that continually changed, and we had to make those changes inside of the aircraft."

    Patrick Kennedy, the State Department's undersecretary for management, requested that the FAST Marines wear civilian attire instead of their uniforms during a White House meeting, the report says. Kennedy told the committee that the move was meant to "enhance the security of our personnel."

    State Department spokesman Mark Toner said the debate over whether the FAST Marines should be in uniform did not affect the U.S. government's ability to send help to Benghazi.

    1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

      The next time anyone talks about "Women always be making us late. Your hair looks fine, sheesh!" I am pointing to this.

      *bookmarks*

      1. John DeWitt   9 years ago

        Oh, surprise surprise...you'll make everyone more late by trying to find the bookmark because "I know I put it in one of these folders"

        1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

          You must have me mistaken for my husband. It takes me longer to tidy his bathroom product than it does to fix my hair.

          *shoves it all under a bandana and gets on with her day*

    2. LynchPin1477   9 years ago

      It's worth repeating - this would never have happened if they just went with tactical turtlenecks.

      1. Rich   9 years ago

        tactical turtlenecks

        Nice band name.

      2. Agammamon   9 years ago

        Tactilneck FTW!

    3. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

      Marine 1: 'You're wearing that?!'

      Marine 2: 'Why? What's wrong with it?'

      M1: "Fine. Whatever'

      M2:(Looks in mirror): I think you're right. Hang on.

      Marine 3 runs in: What are you guys doing? COME ON!

      M2: I can't find my hair clip!

      M3: Hm. I would go with a green one.

      1. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

        "Does this make my ass look fat?"

        1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

          No, your ass looks fat all on its own.

          1. (((Renegade)))   9 years ago

            Oh, OK, I was worried. Thanks.

      2. Agammamon   9 years ago

        SSGT: Whoa, whoa, whoa - not Corporal of mine is going out on an op dressed like a slut. You go back and put some more clothes on.

    4. Atanarjuat   9 years ago

      "They wanted to minimize the signature that looked like a big military invasion, a big military arrival there," Vice Adm. Kurt Tidd, then director of operations for the Joint Chiefs of Staff, told the committee.

      They tried to send Marines in with no guns to avoid the impression of "boots on the ground" in the press.

      1. Libertarian   9 years ago

        This was just one year after we'd bombed the shit out of the place. Sometimes I just don't get it.

    5. Tonio   9 years ago

      Wait, doesn't deploying them out-of-uniform make them spies according to international law? Also, had they been deployed without weapons, which is madness, they would quit possibly have been captured or killed. This type of thing will also affect recruitment and particularly retention.

      1. Atanarjuat   9 years ago

        Perhaps in lieu of weapons, the Marines could give the enemy menacing looks, offend them with rude gestures, or perhaps even toss one of the penny loafers they were wearing in their general direction.

        1. Slumbrew   9 years ago

          What the hell are we supposed to use, man, harsh language?

        2. Agammamon   9 years ago

          Well, throwing shoes at someone is a pretty harsh insult over there.

    6. GILMORE?   9 years ago

      Were these guys being sent in to escort out the remaining CIA personnel?

    7. Illocust   9 years ago

      Wait, isn't it illegal to dress your soldiers in civilian attire when they are on the job?

      1. Agammamon   9 years ago

        Its not illegal - but they could be considered 'spies' and *under the GC* summarily executed if captured. Which is what is likely to happen if captured by a rioting civilian populace even if they're in uniform so no big deal there.

        And what constitutes a 'uniform' has a wide degree of latitude. It doesn't have to be anything resembling what we (now) consider a military uniform. It just has to mark out the wearer as an official belligerant acting on behalf of a nation-state. Even if those pesky terrorists dressed in a uniform they'd still not qualify as they're not nation-state actors (gotta protect our phony balogna jobs gentlemen!)

    8. Agammamon   9 years ago

      Given that the Marine Corps official guidance on appropriate civilian attire means that Marines are forbidden to dress in anything close to what the locals wear (even in the US - collared shirts, belts, etc) I don't see how being in civilian attire (armed or otherwise) wouldn't make them stand out among a populace in sandals, jeans, t-shirts, and thobe.

      And looking like tourists doesn't seem like it'd help either.

  34. VG Zaytsev   9 years ago

    Judge dismisses Rollin Stone law suit

    Still think Trump is a crazy dictator for wanting to reform Sullivan?

    1. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

      Yes.

      The reason for the dismissal (which I disagree with) wasn't free speech, it was because the specific fraternity brothers couldn't prove damages due to the fact that they weren't specifically identified in the article.

      1. WTF   9 years ago

        The entire fraternity, and all of its members, suffered damages because the fraternity was identified in the article. The judge is an assnugget.

  35. Rich   9 years ago

    Terrorists 'actively seeking' to build deadly army of intelligent killer robots, UN warns

    Shock United Nations research highlights the terrifying prospect of extremists unleashing murder machines on the world

    Sounds like the next Transformers movie.

    1. Brett L   9 years ago

      To be fair, so are all the so-called 'legitimate states'.

      1. Rich   9 years ago

        To be fair, so are a lot of middle-school geeks.

        1. This Machine   9 years ago

          You ever see anyone with a giant killing machine getting pushed around at school? I didn't think so.

    2. Illocust   9 years ago

      Yeah, terrorists are just known for their advanced technology. Though, knowing the UN they are probably referring to an explosive strapped to an RC car as a murder machine.

  36. Domestic Dissident   9 years ago

    How's that "Arab Spring" working out in Istanbul (not Constantinople) these days?

    1. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

      Turks aren't Arabs.

      1. Domestic Dissident   9 years ago

        I know, but it appears that spring is springing everywhere these days!

        1. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

          +1 bar of Irish Spring

      2. Eternal Blue Sky   9 years ago

        If Persian Iran can have an "Arab Spring" why not Turkey??

  37. Brett L   9 years ago

    Non-competes to go the way of the dodo?

    I'm interested to see reasonoids' take on the non-compete clause. Is it a viable clause between two private entities contracting to do business, or is it an unfair leverage that employers use to distort the market for employment?

    1. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

      There's a definite power imbalance when they're applied to regular employees.

      With C-suite executives and VPs, it's different, especially where there are negotiated contracts. I put them into employment agreements I write all the time, but there are givebacks by the company, usually in the form of severance (usually for the time period of the non-compete).

      1. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

        IANAL but I believe in Minnesoda there was a lawsuit about noncompetes that pretty much ended up with the ruling that the only way they can be enforced is if the first company is willing to pay the ex-employee for the duration of the non-compete. So if you really don't want your ex working for your competitor, you need to keep paying him.

        The judge basically said that everyone has a right to make a living. Too bad that isn't applied in way more situations.

        I know that 99% of the time the noncompete is worthless, but is used as a threat to the future employer. The one time I saw a company actually try to enforce a noncompete, they a) got spanked in court (the circumstances were clearly not covered) and b) a lot of their current employees quit and moved on because they were friends of the ex-employees and no longer had any faith in management.

        1. Illocust   9 years ago

          I'm alright with that form of non-compete. If you pay me not to work for your competitor, well I'm pretty okay with that.

    2. LynchPin1477   9 years ago

      I lean pretty heavily towards "If you agreed to it, you have to stick to it".

    3. Suthenboy   9 years ago

      As far as I am concerned when my association with an entity is at an end so is their say over my behavior.

    4. John DeWitt   9 years ago

      The latter. Probably also important to point out that a non-disclosure agreement is completely different than a non-compete.

    5. Agammamon   9 years ago

      The prior.

      But like anything, it can be pushed into areas where its not appropriate. Preventing a salesman from stealing your clients or preventing one of the guys who's been critical in developing your latest bit of technology from up and leaving and taking those resources with him is appropriate and helps *both* sides. The employer on the backside and the employee - it makes it easier to employ him by lowering the risk of doing so.

      Other people - not so much.

  38. Rich   9 years ago

    New Jersey Couple Hoards 100 Cats Inside Small Condo

    "We love animals, you know. It did become out of control, we're a little wrong, I admit it," June Dennis said. Hazmat crews and animal control officers removed 35 living cats and seven dead ones as about 40 more remain inside the Dennis' condo.

    Now, *these* are people that should be on the "watch list"!

  39. Idle Hands   9 years ago

    This story warms my heart.

    Celeste says she slept with "more than 30" in all -- street cops, sergeants, captains, even a police dog handler.

    "So I wanted to meet his canine, he did," she said. "There's this one time we did it in the car and he had his canine watching us from the backseat."

    It was just a coincidence that the Richmond park I chose for the interview was the same place many cops took her for sex.
    Celeste: "Three out of all the 30 paid me."
    Dan: "Only three out of the 30."
    Celeste: "Yeah, yeah."
    Dan: "Why did you have sex with the other ones who didn't pay you?"
    Celeste: "I don't know, I just look at them like information. Their perks become your perks, you know."

    Celeste showed me texts in which officers appear to tip her off to police operations. One exchange from this past March with a cop she nicknamed "Superman" reads, "Want some advice?" Celeste answered, "Tell me handsome." The response was, "Stay off E14 from Fruitvale to 42 tonight. There's a uc (or undercover) operation."

    Celeste also tells me on at least 10 occasions, officers provided police reports or inside information on criminal cases for her and her friends.

    1. Brett L   9 years ago

      Except the part where she won't give up all the names.

      1. Idle Hands   9 years ago

        Meh I'm of the opinion that snitching on violent gang members with prison/street connections probably isn't a good idea, especially when your snitching to their pals.

        1. Cynical Asshole   9 years ago

          ^This^ I doubt her refusal to snitch is anything more than an expression of her instincts for self preservation.

    2. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

      "So I wanted to meet his canine, he did," she said. "There's this one time we did it in the car and he had his canine watching us from the backseat."

      He was just establishing dominance.

    3. GILMORE?   9 years ago

      Somewhere there is a bag of rocks that feels it has been unfairly maligned by comparison to someone named "Guap"

      1. Atanarjuat   9 years ago

        Imagine how that poor, overworked ugly stick feels.

    4. commodious   9 years ago

      Celeste says she slept with "more than 30" in all -- street cops, sergeants, captains, even a police dog handler.

      Eskimo brothers.

    5. Illocust   9 years ago

      Cops have a word for chicks like this, "Fender Lizards".

  40. Cynical Asshole   9 years ago

    Hillary Clinton Talks Revenge Porn

    "A Spike Lee SugarFree joint"

    1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

      NONONONONONONO!!!!!!!!!!

      1. commodious   9 years ago

        *comes at Swiss like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows*

  41. rudehost   9 years ago

    "The tobacco-smoking age in Chicago rises to 21-years-old starting Friday."

    They are old enough to step into a voting booth and make decisions about stranger's lives but too young to make decisions about their own.

    1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

      "A 20 year old US Army SGT was arrested today...."

      1. Brett L   9 years ago

        Hopefully after battering 3-5 fat, out of shape Chicago cops and fleeing on foot, only surrendering when they set the K9s on her.

        1. This Machine   9 years ago

          True story: I know a pilot, who, upon getting perhaps a little too belligerently drunk one night in town, ended up having the cops called on him, and they showed up with a couple dogs (must have been a slow night). He started running. The cops, being lazy and out of shape, set the dogs after him.

          He fucking outran the dogs.

          The next day, he showed up to work, clean and sober and ready to fly acting like nothing happened. When the lead pilot asked him, "Dude, seriously, the dogs?"

          "Yeah, man. I'm fucking fast."

          1. commodious   9 years ago

            Didn't realize Usain Bolt is a pilot.

  42. Jerryskids   9 years ago

    It's summertime! Are your kids dead or maimed or at least blind yet?

    Wrap your kids in bubble wrap and lock them in your fallout shelter, people!

    1. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

      Nice shopping list suggestions.

      Seriously, the only item I agreed with were about water wings. Teach your kids how to swim.

  43. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

    Venezuelans are storming supermarkets and attacking trucks as food supplies dwindle

    Ugh, capitalism.

    1. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

      I've been told by socialists that it's called "state capitalism".

      Real socialism is like a purple unicorn with a pink tail. It hasn't been spotted yet.

      1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

        Real socialism is like a purple unicorn with a pink tail. It hasn't been spotted yet.

        I know a guy who can help you see that purple unicorn with a pink tail.

        1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

          +1 Agile Cyborg

        2. Citizen X   9 years ago

          +1 sailboat and a dolphin and some big titty mermaids doin' some of that lesbian shit

          1. Libertarian   9 years ago

            I hate to disappoint you, but mermaids can't scissor.

        3. This Machine   9 years ago

          +rainbow jism streams of accuracy

      2. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

        The other day I was in an internet tiff with one of the idiots supporting the fascists who stabbed the other fascists in Sacramento. He was saying it was justified because fascism has killed so many people. I pointed out that his preferred political system, communism, has killed even more people than fascism. He said no, because Stalin, Mao et al weren't really communist.

        1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

          There are awfully few Scotsmen in Scotland...

        2. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

          He said no, because Stalin, Mao et al weren't really communist.

          I wonder what they were?

          1. WTF   9 years ago

            Conservative Republicans, obviously.

            1. tarran   9 years ago

              and life members of the National Rifle Association.

        3. Eternal Blue Sky   9 years ago

          Well, you know, Hitler and Mussolini weren't REALLY Fascist...

        4. Krapulent Kristen   9 years ago

          Yep, the goalposts are a moving target. Real, honest-and-for-true communism has, like, never been tried before! If only the Right People? were in charge of the Soviet Union, it would have been a fucking paradise.

      3. Suthenboy   9 years ago

        I live in a capitalist country.

        My dogs are fat.

      4. rts   9 years ago

        Patrick Star explains it all in a dank meme

        1. Citizen X   9 years ago

          This is why i am no longer on Facebook.

  44. commodious   9 years ago

    The E.U. can't take sole credit for the fact that the British now know pesto from salsa verde. Probably some kind of food revolution would have happened here anyway, just as it did in the States and Australia over the same period. But to contemplate Brexit is to see the extent to which Britain is not a food island. We eat food cooked by French and Italian chefs using European ingredients. More than a quarter of those working in food manufacturing in Britain are immigrants from within the E.U. We could not eat as we do without them. British food has also benefitted from the E.U.'s protected-designated-origin (P.D.O.) system, which gives protected status to special regional foods, from P?rigord walnuts to the Brocciu cheese of Corsica. It took Europe?through P.D.O.?to remind Britons of the specialness of native delicacies like Cornish clotted cream, Whitstable oysters, and Yorkshire rhubarb. Over all, the impact of the E.U. on the British diet has entailed, as Lang puts it, "cultural exchange on a massive scale."

    What pap. Brexiters should feel justified for that paragraph alone. You bunch of provincial hicks wouldn't know brie from camembert if not for your betters in Brussels pushing it down your fat gobs.

    1. commodious   9 years ago

      And that paragraph reads like my favorite Duckman rant:

      A "role model"? Any halfway intelligent audience would know I'm not somebody to imitate. Who'd aspire to imitate someone who's gotten the stuffing kicked out of him so many times, the only reason he gets up in the morning is because either he's really stupid, or somewhere, deep down inside, beats the heart of a disappointed, yet still hopeful, idealist. A yellow teller of truth, who's a spokesperson for the silent masses who'd love to tell it like it is, who's an idol to be emulated, nay, a GOD, to be bowed down to!... But, heh, I'm... I'm not a role model.

    2. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

      I call bull shit.

      There's a precedence and it happened during the Renaissance.

      See, when the Italians were doing their thing with arky-texture, paintings, fine dining etiquettes, engineering, sciency-stuff and the like, two things happened. One, Europe's best flocked to the peninsula of 'geographic expressions' with its political upheavals and electric atmosphere. Two, the English IMPORTED Italians to bring them up to speed. Next thing you know, Britain learns and is on its way to creating a splendid empire.

      And Charlemagne's dream of a united Europe under the Holy Roman Empire was long dead. In fact, they did this when Christianity was still the institution that ruled Europe and not the nation-state.

      History. How does it fucking work you wanker?

  45. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

    At school, he was the 'cool' teacher. Online, he was catfishing, seducing students, police say.

    online ? away from the classroom ? Le had a different identity: "Rae Pelletier."

    Part alter-ego, part hormone-driven teenage trap, she was a license for predation and the basis for a cunning online persona that was manufactured to trick unsuspecting boys into providing Le with explicit photos and videos on Facebook, according to the Santa Clara County District Attorney's office.

    Over the course of hundreds of interactions during her brief online life, none of the teenagers who were interacting with Pelletier realized that she was a he, and that he ? of all people ? was their chemistry teacher.

    "We have identified nine juvenile male victims that he catfished and that he both sent nude pictures to and solicited nude pictures from," Santa Clara Deputy District Attorney Jaron Shipp told The Washington Post. "While we've identified multiple child pornography victims, there's evidence to suggest that there's more of them."

    1. lap83   9 years ago

      Why are only the pervy female teachers hot?

      1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

        Great, now the Department of Education is going to spend millions studying your question. Way to go.

        1. lap83   9 years ago

          If it saves just one hot pervy male teacher...

          1. commodious   9 years ago

            He's banging all the disappointed middle-age English lit teachers in the breakroom.

  46. Eman   9 years ago

    Is phallophilic a word? Cuz that's how I would descibe the first paragraph of that new yorker piece (passionate descriptions of all the different kinds of bananas the author likes)

    1. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

      Is phallophilic a word?

      Urban Dictionary is close to your new word:

      Phallophilia
      Phallophile

  47. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

    As the only True Pope*, I am officially declaring a miracle!

    *I think True Pope would be an awesome HBO series.

    1. Citizen X   9 years ago

      Something something the unbearable lightness of being

  48. Free Society   9 years ago

    What Brexit means for British food.

    It can't possibly make it any worse.

  49. Idle Hands   9 years ago

    What a country of pussies. Seriously. Most Americans are OK with men crying in public.

    YouGov's latest research shows that, by and large, Americans are OK with crying. The vast majority of Americans say that it is acceptable for men (89%) and women (93%) to cry in private. 82% also say that it is acceptable for women to cry in public. The only situation in which a noticeable minority of people say that crying is unacceptable is when it comes to men in public. 16% say that it is unacceptable for men to cry in public. Men (21%) are more likely than women (12%) to say that it is unacceptable for men to cry in public.

    Am I the only one who thinks it's inappropriate for anyone to cry in fucking public? Jesus.

    1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

      Check out Ron Swanson over here.

      "Crying: Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon."

    2. Citizen X   9 years ago

      Crying: acceptable at funerals and at the Grand Canyon.

      1. Citizen X   9 years ago

        Damn, i'm on a wavelength with Crusty. I need to reassess my life choices.

      2. Citizen X   9 years ago

        Damn, i'm on a wavelength with Crusty. I need to reassess my life choices.

    3. Tonio   9 years ago

      Babies?

      1. Idle Hands   9 years ago

        Keep your kid's under control people.

    4. Brett L   9 years ago

      Funerals, your retirement, and particularly fine examples of craftsmanship. If you tear up when you see a well made gun or cabinet, that's okay.

    5. SugarFree   9 years ago

      No. Just no. Take your personal issues inside.

    6. Krapulent Kristen   9 years ago

      My dad cried on the phone to me when he broke up with some chick. Most. Awkward. Call. Ever.

      Keep yer tears for yer bathroom or bedroom.

  50. Sevo   9 years ago

    SF Chron, riding the homeless bandwagon, has proposed a solution: Buy every bum a house!

    "Solution to SF's homeless problem starts with supportive housing"
    http://projects.sfchronicle.co.....e-housing/

    And it won't cost anything, since the gov't is paying for it!

    1. commodious   9 years ago

      Pulling every hard-core homeless person off the streets of San Francisco would require the creation within two years of 2,500 additional supportive housing units

      And within ten years and at tremendous cost, the city might just get the permits issued.

    2. Tonio   9 years ago

      Um, the problem with many of the homeless is that they are just not responsible enough to keep up with all the complexities of maintaining a permanent home, let alone home ownership. Many of the homeless do work and/or have other income (veteran benefits, etc). What they can't keep up with is rent/mortgage, utilities, etc. What they need is cheap rooming houses where they pay by the night, week or month.

    3. Krapulent Kristen   9 years ago

      So the writers at the Chron, privileged elites that they are, think homelessness is caused by lack of housing. Must be nice to live in such a simplistic world.

      1. commodious   9 years ago

        It's right there in the word! *Home*less. They wouldn't call it that for nothing.

      2. This Machine   9 years ago

        Ugh, come on, do you even? They're called homeless. So if we give them homes, nice American houses, see, they'll stop being homeless. Then we won't have a homeless problem anymore! Just like the best way to solve poverty is to give poor people enough money to clear the poverty line!

        Sheesh. I'm not gonna do your thinking for you next time.

  51. commodious   9 years ago

    Pad thai with zucchini noodles: pretty good, actually.

    1. OBJ FRANKELSON   9 years ago

      That does sound like it might be okay. I was looking at getting a pack of zucchini noodles at Wegmann's over the weekend, but I am scared of non-grain noodles.

      1. Chipwooder   9 years ago

        The best kitchen gadget I've ever gotten is my spiralizer. Grew up in an Italian household, so as a fat adult it was always next to impossible to give up macaroni. Zucchini noodles have been a godsend for me.

        1. commodious   9 years ago

          This. It's a bit moist for italian dishes, and spaghetti squash is better for that anyway, but zucchini cooks down to a believable egg noodle with almost no effort.

    2. Suthenboy   9 years ago

      I dont understand why people eat sub-par foods when the good stuff is available.

  52. Krapulent Kristen   9 years ago

    So I may be competing with a colleague/friend for a job. It kind of makes me feel icky, but it's a job with a libertarian organization, and my colleague/friend is not a libertarian. But it could be kind of awkward. He's about 1/2 way through the interview process, and I'm just starting (they apparently have a 3-part interview process, which seems kind of excessive, but whatevs).

    Have you ever competed with someone you considered a friend for a job? How did it work out? Did it cause awkwardness?

    1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

      Good luck. It will cause awkwardness no matter what, but that is beyond your control, because improving your life is more important than his feelings. Also, stab that mofo in the back!!!!!

    2. tarran   9 years ago

      Does he know?

      1. Krapulent Kristen   9 years ago

        Yeah, I told him. I'm kind of curious to see how Part Deux of his interview goes before I schedule a preliminary for myself. I'm also a little balky on NGO work, as I have had bad (nightmarish) experiences early in my career.

    3. This Machine   9 years ago

      One time, yeah. And I got the job. I didn't think anything of it; it's like, hey, you gotta take care of yourself and your family, and great minds think alike so I guess it woulda come down to this eventually. He, on the other hand, was kinda pissed and actually went to my boss's boss about it (not cool, dude).

      Didn't fucking bother me, BECAUSE I FUCKING WON, and winning is all that matters.

    4. Krapulent Kristen   9 years ago

      The most awkward part is I found out about the job from him. A recruiter put him in the queue for the job and he said "I have an interview at this place...Koch something...?". Then I got pissed, because I have been working with a recruiter that specializes in liberty organizations, and she didn't bring this job to me. So I applied on my own. Now they want to interview me. LOL?

      1. commodious   9 years ago

        If you land the job (and good luck, by the way), you have to change your tag to Kochspiracist Kristen.

        1. Krapulent Kristen   9 years ago

          There is a certain group of my friend who will never know where I work if I get that job!

      2. Agammamon   9 years ago

        I wouldn't tell him that part.

    5. Spartacus   9 years ago

      Happens all the time in my world, so yes, I have, more than once. If everyone is an adult, it doesn't cause any lasting problems. Whoever doesn't get picked will, of course, have their feelings hurt for a while. But you have to recognize that the decisions are being made by a third party, so it doesn't have anything to do with your friend or your friendship.

    6. bacon-magic   9 years ago

      Two will enter, one will leave. If it's good enough for bartertown, it's good enough for libertown.

  53. Sevo   9 years ago

    "3 SF supervisors move to put tech tax on November ballot"
    [...]
    "Tax expert Leo Martinez, a professor at UC Hastings College of the Law, said identifying tech companies would raise numerous challenges."
    http://www.sfgate.com/politics.....330876.php

    They want to add taxes to "tech" companies, but they don't know what they are!

    1. Spartacus   9 years ago

      Tech company := any business still managing to make a profit in California.

      Done.

    2. chipper me timbers   9 years ago

      Easy. Is the name of the company "Twitter", "Uber", or "AirBnB"? Fuck those guys let's tax 'em!

  54. The Late P Brooks   9 years ago

    Have you ever competed with someone you considered a friend for a job? How did it work out? Did it cause awkwardness?

    Yes. You win some, you lose some. No. Let the best man win.

    YMMV

    1. commodious   9 years ago

      So sexist I can't even.

  55. The Late P Brooks   9 years ago

    So I applied on my own.

    Queue-jumper!

  56. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

    Is it wrong that I'm kicking myself for not buying a Jetta TDI a couple of years ago like I had planned to before changing my mind?

  57. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    When Obama was first elected I got an old Roadmaster with the LT1 engine and all the cop parts/towing package. 12 mpg in the city. Loved that beast of a car.

  58. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

    It's only 15 billion.

  59. Rufus The Monocled   9 years ago

    That is awful.

    Think of it. The government of the USA under this twirp is willing to destroy a company, uproot VW car owners who have no issues with the car (like me), eradicate JOBS, impact an industry all for an issue that had ZERO IMPACT ON THE ENVIRONMENT.

    Staggering.

    And they say corporations are evil? Government and its parasitical bacteria are beyond evil.

  60. Cynical Asshole   9 years ago

    It shows what Uncle really cares about.

    Which isn't our "safety" ? much less our lives.

    It is obedience to Uncle

    Hit the nail on the head. This X 1,000,000,000

  61. Suthenboy   9 years ago

    All of the car companies are bound to be doing it. When bureaucrats that know nothing of physics, kinetics, or engineering set unobtainable goals on behalf of those who do this is what you get. It is also a good way to kill an economy.

    Top. Men. Indeed.

  62. lap83   9 years ago

    I like that blog, she gets some hilarious letters

  63. GILMORE?   9 years ago

    I have never had a job before

    Yes, but you still felt that handing your employer a "petition" was a sensible thing to do.

  64. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

    But instead, you assumed you knew better (despite being in a position where the whole point is that you don't have experience and are there to learn) and then went about it in a pretty aggressive way.

    Boom.

    Pearls before swine.

  65. Mustang   9 years ago

    Which one of you was the manager that fired them? This sounds like an example of a commenter saying they won't be hiring from a particular school for being a bunch of rejects. I can see it now: the manager realizes he just got a shipment of snowflake interns, has been paying attention to Reason, and cuts his/her losses before it gets too bad.

  66. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

    That was fun.

  67. RAHeinlein   9 years ago

    Had they KNOWN the person who violated the dress code lost their leg, they would have FACTORED this into their arguments...priceless.

  68. This Machine   9 years ago

    But instead, you assumed you knew better (despite being in a position where the whole point is that you don't have experience and are there to learn) and then went about it in a pretty aggressive way. A petition is ? well, it's not something you typically see at work. It signals that you think that if you get enough signatures, your company will feel pressured to act, and that's just not how this stuff works. A company is not going to change its dress code because its interns sign a petition.

    B-B-B-BUT WE COLLECTED SIGNATURES.

  69. Illocust   9 years ago

    I love the bit about the one intern who refused to sign the petition and thus is now the only one still working there. I want to hear his perspective on how it all went down. I bet its hilarious.

  70. Krapulent Kristen   9 years ago

    OMG. Best thing I've read all month!

  71. Peace Be Upon [REDACTED], Jr.   9 years ago

    The AM Links is down to the faintest of pulses, thus I run the risk of a corpse-fuck, but this piece is just too good not to respond to.

    Even though the division I was hired to work in doesn't deal with clients or customers, there still was a very strict dress code.

    Can you believe how illogical these rules are? UGH

    I felt the dress code was overly strict but I wasn't going to say anything

    Giving up your right to be heard??

    until I noticed one of the workers always wore flat shoes that were made from a fabric other than leather, or running shoes, even though both of these things were contrary to the dress code.

    Well! THIS WILL NOT STAND!

    I spoke with my manager about being allowed some leeway under the dress code and was told this was not possible, despite the other person being allowed to do it

    So unfair!!!

    We decided to write a proposal stating why we should be allowed someone leeway under the dress code.

    Strongly worded letters always get results.

  72. Cdr Lytton   9 years ago

    The comments for that story give me hope that not everything has gone to shit.

  73. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

    Yes, but you still felt that handing your employer a "petition" was a sensible thing to do.

    That's what they've learned from government K-12 with unionized SJW teachers, and 4-years of lefty college brainwashing.

    Except things to get worse. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

  74. GILMORE?   9 years ago

    I keep harping about the fact that 16-19yr old kids rarely get jobs anymore. Note that "50%" median which was more or less consistent from 1950-2000 drops off a cliff right after that.

    Its a very bad thing. They don't understand ANYTHING related to "work" until they're already adults. At which point.... its like they're not even all that 'trainable' anymore. They just assume everything works like school does.

  75. Injun, as in from India   9 years ago

    I discussed this very thing with a lefty professor once. Her answer?

    "We need some sort of mandatory national service so kids can get work experience."

    I kid you not. Not a wartime draft, but a f***ing peacetime draft like old Eastern bloc countries.

    First, jack up the minimum wage and put kids out of work. Next, put in mandatory national service to fix what you f***ed up in the first place.

  76. Suthenboy   9 years ago

    I would love to see their petition and the revised one where they 'factored that in'.

    I am thinking sugar-tits better find herself a rich husband because I don't see a bright professional future for her.

  77. Chipwooder   9 years ago

    This. The only time I've ever seen tears in my father's eyes was in 1994 when Messier raised the Cup over his head. He didn't even cry at his mother's funeral!

  78. commodious   9 years ago

    Putting young adults out of work allows them to pursue their dreams.

  79. Rhywun   9 years ago

    Not a wartime draft, but a f***ing peacetime draft like old Eastern bloc countries.

    The US is more the exception to some sort of "mandatory service" than the rule.

    Or, "They do it in Europe!"

  80. This Machine   9 years ago

    "So there was this big group of babies that didn't like being told what to do, and they thought it was unfair to have to stick to a dress code when Bob the accountant who's been working there for thirty years gets to wear sneakers instead of loafers. So they had this genius idea to draft a petition, and they wanted me to sign it, and I was like, fuck no, I don't wanna get fired. And then guess what the retards did next..."

  81. Peace Be Upon [REDACTED], Jr.   9 years ago

    The proposal was written professionally like examples I have learned about in school,

    where one learns literally everything one needs to know

    and our arguments were thought out and well-reasoned.

    Don't believe us? Just ask us!

    the worker who was allowed to disobey the dress code was a former soldier who lost her leg and was therefore given permission to wear whatever kind of shoes she could walk in. You can't even tell, and if we had known about this we would have factored it into our argument.

    Why won't they tell us things we need to know??

  82. Long Woodchippers   9 years ago

    but it's for the childrenz!

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