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Police in Dumfries, Virginia, have charged Ryan Turk with larceny for stealing a 65-cent carton of milk  at Graham Park Middle School, where he is a student. Turk, who is on the school's free lunch program, had forgotten the milk when he went through the lunch line and was arrested when he went back to get it. 

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  1. Anyone see this blog post claiming that Johnson threw out a replica muzzleloader pistol Petersen gave to Johnson after he won at the convention?…..rsens-gun/

    1. Yeah, I posted it in yesterday’s A. M. links. Johnson reportedly offered $500 to try and get it back and pretend the whole thing never happened.

      1. So GJ is a douchebag after all.

        Sure, if it were me I’d find Petersen’s gesture odd, and try hard to politely refuse the gift. But throwing it away seems a bit callous.

    2. The right response would have been to auction it off for sale to the highest bidder and donate the proceeds to a preferred charity. Sad!

      1. Don’t forget the part where you hold on to the money as long as possible and then when called on it you attack the media, nothing riles up the troops like a good reporter smackdown.

    3. I would argue that the right response would be to act like a rockstar. I knew how valuable it was, I just didn’t give fuck. It’s like a rockstar tossing a guitar into the crowd at the end of a concert.

    4. I’m making $86 an hour working from home. I was shocked when my neighbour told me she was averaging $98 but I see how it works now. I feel so much freedom now that I’m my own boss…
      I work through this URL. Go here,,,
      This is what I do.————-

    5. Tearing up on the front stage of the convention floor, Austin said to Gary as he presented him with the pistol, “You have my sword, and you have my gun.”

      I’d have thrown it out too

      1. * technically that would be if i weren’t running for president. Austin Peterson is just creepy af and he should keep his toys

      2. Why? Why not just quietly give it back, or away?

  2. “The need for disciplinary action is determined by how a student behaves throughout any given incident,” the school spokesperson said. “An appeals process is in place to ensure the fairness of any disciplinary action.”

    “We expect our students to make lemonade no matter how many lemons our overzealous, in-school police and our mindless bureaucracy throw at them. Also, Ryan is being suspended for stealing our lemons.”

    1. “Damn stealing whores.”

      1. Err, lemon stealing whores.

  3. “I yanked away from him I told him to get off of me because he’s not my Dad,” the middle school student said.

    So, um, how exactly does your real Dad give you milk?

    1. His dad is Mrs. Doubtfire. The kid’s whole life is a lie.

  4. If they are interviewing the mom in front of her home, which appears to be in a nice neighborhood, and she can afford the cornrows, fake nails, and lashes why is this kid getting “free” lunches.

    1. Hyperbole throwing an Oliver Twist into the story.

    2. Because Free Shit. And also, FYTW. Now shut up and pay.

    3. In Virginia children in a family of 4 get free lunch if their family makes less than $44,863 per year. Dumfries isn’t exactly in the boonies, but it isn’t in the beltway either, so housing pricing aren’t that bad. Also, I’ll bet the dad works a job that nets him some income under the table and off the books. IOW, FYTW.

    4. Mom: They are charging him with larceny, which I don’t have no understanding as to why he is being charged with larceny when he was entitled to that milk from the beginning

      1. Mom: Me and my family are entitled to free shit!

        1. So you’re saying that if you go to a gas station for $2 a gallon gas, and they charge you $20 but only give you 9 gallons, then you’re some entitled jerk for wanting that one gallon they shorted you by?

          That’s the situation here. It doesn’t matter why it was his milk, it only matters that it was his milk.

    5. In most (all?) public schools in Huntsville, AL, breakfasts and lunches are free. For all students. And the food sucks, so our kids eat breakfast at home brown-bag their lunches almost every day.

      Also, free lunches and dinner all summer long:


    6. The jokes on you those cornrows are part of a govt program

    7. You think they ordered the food for him? Probably some Ag Dept. (funny how that reads as “silver” too) price support program, and they throw away whatever doesn’t get eaten or drunk.

    8. Probably could afford private school, too. All things considered, I think the food’s a tiny part of the expense package.

  5. Just one b.s. excuse after another trying to cover their asses.They just keep digging.They never admit a mistake.

  6. 65 cents? When I was a youngin’ the subsidized school milk cost a nickel, and that was the full price when you weren’t on the dole.

    1. I was actually going to say that. I remember once spending a quarter on 5 milks and getting very, very sick

    2. Purchasing power, devaluation, inflation, QE, there’s a veritable market basket of concepts to latch onto. Back in my day milks were maybe a quarter per.

      1. Still, presuming these are pint containers, at 65 cents that comes out to $5.20/gallon. I buy my milk for less than half that.

        1. Those little y-front cartons are half-pints, so $10.40 a gallon. Some crony brother-in-law in the dairy business has that contract.

          1. Probably upcharging by the school. Someone has to pay for all those stolen cartons of free milk.

          2. Those little y-front cartons are half-pints

            In British English what you just said sounds suspiciously pedo

        2. The packaging ain’t free, but yeah, someone’s getting a taste, and other’s beaks are getting wet for sure.

    3. That’s pretty much where the whole $15 minimum wage movement comes from. You can judge how wealthy a worker is by comparing hourly wages to cost of basic stuff like a loaf of bread, carton of milk, etc.

      Employers were supposed to be giving cost of living raises all these years, but many ‘forgot’ to. So inflation raises the price of goods, while wages don’t increase with them. To give the average worker of today the spending power the average worker had in the 1950s, you’d have to raise the minimum wage to $15 and raise every other wage accordingly.

  7. Outstanding.

    Bum taps all around!

  8. No cops will show up for his court hearing. I guarantee it. Instead the hearing will be moved twice, with no cops showing up either of those times too. The charges will finally be dropped with the kid and parents having “only” wasted three days of their lives and maybe a couple thousand dollars in lawyer/court fees. It’s a small price to pay for the security of knowing this cop is there to protect the school’s milk! (/s)

  9. “I yanked away from him I told him to get off of me because he’s not my Dad,” the middle school student said.

    Ryan was then taken to the principal’s office and searched for drugs, his mother said.

    “Because he was fidgety, kept pulling on the strings of his pants, and laughing when we were trying to talk to him and just wouldn’t talk,” Shamise Turk said.

    Ryan Turk has since been charged with larceny and ordered to appear in Juvenile Court.

    “This is ridiculous… this is beyond embarrassing… he’s at home for 65 cents,” Shamise Turk said. “I’m angry, I’m frustrated, I’m mad. It just went too far. They are charging him with larceny, which I don’t have no understanding as to why he is being charged with larceny when he was entitled to that milk from the beginning.”

    Police said the larceny charge was because Ryan tried to “conceal” the milk, a claim Ryan’s mother denied.”

    All this hoopla over milk.

    I’m not surprised he was fidgety and laughing. Sometimes kids act that way when under duress and facing a weird situation.

    Schools seem to be run by very stupid people. I have no idea why cops are there to pinch people over milk. Instead of just fucking dealing with it in house as we used to do they make a big fucking federal case out of it. Bunch of idiots.

    1. As a kid when I was anxious or distraught, I would shake uncontrollably.

    2. The cops have nothing else to do, have to justify their jobs.

    3. Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach.

  10. What the fuck, was the cop standing over the little perps while they walked thru the lunch line?

  11. ‘Ryan Turk has since been charged with larceny and ordered to appear in Juvenile Court.’ ‘”The need for disciplinary action is determined by how a student behaves throughout any given incident,” the school spokesperson said. “An appeals process is in place to ensure the fairness of any disciplinary action.”‘

    So, they can’t just discipline a kid in-school for a crime where the stolen goods are valued at less than a dollar, so he’s going to face discipline in school AND faces the local juvenile court system. The article says he’s being disciplined by the school for his conduct, but that stinks pretty bad too.

    1. And even if the court finds that he could not have stolen one carton of milk that already belonged to him, the in-school punishment will stand and he will never get even an apology.

  12. School resource officer reads Les Miserables – sees Javert as the protagonist.

    1. If whatshisfacethefrog hadn’t kept escaping, he would have been out of prison legitimately, and the poor, overworked inspector wouldn’t have had to keep chasing him down.

      1. +Mssr. Tulpa

  13. Sadly, this is just more evidence that literally there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch.

    1. Everything has a price, that’s true. But the price was paid for the kid, and he did not take anything except that which he already owned. If anyone has committed larceny, it’s the school officials, when they took the kid’s property away from him. Then they defamed him, as a thief when he was not.

  14. The school spokesperson said Ryan was suspended for theft, being disrespectful and using his cell phone in school.

    Three strikes and you’re out.

    1. “Being Disrespectful” – that’s the standard treatment for school staff by students where I went.

      1. To the authoritarian mind, quite a few things are disrespectful. Knowing the rules better than an authority figure? That’s disrespectful. Obeying the rules and expecting authority to as well? Disrespectful. Being right when authority is wrong? Disrespectful.

    2. Several years ago when Montgomery Co, Maryland banned cell phones in school, a kid was arrested after a traffic stop on his way to school because he had a cell phone in his car.

      I suspect they didn’t let the kid call his mom (at least as quick as he wanted to) and he whipped out his phone to make the call himself.

      1. What’s that, “intent to carry a cell phone into a school”?

        1. Well, until he carried it into the school, he would not be in violation of the rule. There are quite a few things in a car that students are not allowed to take inside school buildings, starting with the car itself and continuing to tire irons, gasoline, etc.

          Unequal enforcement of the law is unconstitutional. Every teacher and student who brought a phone, a car, accelerant or weapons/tools into the school building should be suspended/fired/expelled on the spot.

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