Obama Wants End of Nukes, Iowa Bans Life Sentences for Teen Killers, About That Study on Cell Phones and Cancer: P.M. Links

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  • Rats
    Credit: audrey_sel via Foter.com / CC BY-SA

    President Barack Obama called for an end to nuclear weapons at the first visit by a sitting U.S. president to Hiroshima.

  • That study about cell phones causing cancer in lab rats doesn't say what all the panicked headlines are saying. Somebody should do a study to determine whether cherry-picking data causes cancer.
  • Iowa's Supreme Court has banned sentences of life without parole for juveniles convicted of murder as cruel and unusual punishment under the state's constitution.
  • Everybody's going to be talking about the Libertarian Party this weekend as the delegates select their presidential nominee in Orlando.
  • Louisiana's governor has signed into law a bill that adds the targeting of police or emergency personnel to the state's hate crime laws.
  • North Korean leader Kim Jong Un's aunt has been living a quiet life in the United States since fleeing here in 1998.
  • Your last-minute Trump: Donald Trump will not debate Bernie Sanders after all.

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  1. Your last-minute Trump: Donald Trump will not debate Bernie Sanders after all.

    Trump is for closers.

    1. Hello.

      1. You’re late – even I’m here and I never show up for the lesser lynx

        1. Lesser lynx?! Everyone knows the PM links are far superior because by this time many of us are drunk.

          1. Ever been the only sober person in the room?

            1. That sort of problem can be corrected with more drinking.

              1. I have to be sober – I have driving to do, and a lot of packing, and lifting, and I really shouldn’t be on the lynx, but it’s either that or start screaming at the walls

                1. I’m moving tomorrow and it sounds like you could help.

          2. Or at least awake. BTW, awwwww at the picture of the cancer rat.

        2. I have, er, work to do.

          Someone has to flirt with the ladies.

          1. Sounds like one of them there abstract euphemisms he’ve been hearin about.

            1. he’ve?

  2. North Korean leader Kim Jong Un’s aunt has been living a quiet life in the United States since fleeing here in 1998.

    Obama deported his own aunt! You think Kim’s is gonna get to stay???

    1. Not only his aunt but his uncle too. And by deported of course we mean granted asylum and permanent residency.

  3. President Barack Obama called for an end to nuclear weapons at the first visit by a sitting U.S. president to Hiroshima.

    Otherwise known as “No punchbacks!”

    1. What a piece of shit he is. He goes and wants people to think he is mister peace prize, and forgets to mention he proposed to spend 1 TRILLION on third generation nuclear weapons. Fuuuucckk him.

      1. Duplicitous cunt. Oh, sorry, I mean Mr. President.

  4. President Barack Obama called for an end to nuclear weapons at the first visit by a sitting U.S. president to Hiroshima.

    Did he also call for free unicorns to grow on trees? Nuclear weapons exist. It’s retarded to think the technology is going to be ended.

    1. Especially when you go around enabling countries to develop them.

      1. But they pinky swore that they wouldn’t!

    2. Can’t get the toothpaste back into the tube.

      And he’s full of shit. He could get rid of half of the world’s nukes and the US would still have plenty for whatever might come up.

      1. Like everything else these guys do its all bullshit grandstanding.

        I Buffet wanted to pay more in taxes he could with a single flick of his pen.

        If Obama wanted to get rid of nukes he could with a single flick of his pen (might need the cellphone here) remove one of the largest concentrations of them.

        What both of them really want is for *you* to . . . not them.

    3. Will somebody, please, drop a nuke somewhere useful? On a terrorist held city? On North Korea’s idiot for life? On Castro? They’re weapons. They don’t cause damage worse than any other kind of bomb. They don’t kill more horrifically than mustard gas, or the kind of boobytrapped toys the Russians airdropped in their Afghanistan idiocy. This stupid idea that if we somehow rewind the clock so that nuke don’t exist all will be wine and roses has taken up entirely too much energy for entire too long. And I am really tempted to think that this is because they only got use TWICE.

      Neither Hiroshima nor Nagasaki is unlivable. Both were considered safe by the beginning of the 1950s. This totemic image of bomb craters giving rise to Godzilla is so much pigswill.

      If Obama really wants to cut down on the number of people horrifically killed, he should repudiate Statist buttinskiism. The two bombs dropped on Japan killed a couple of hundred thousand people. Communist States murdered (that is, killed by State actions other than war) a hundred MILLION people in the 20th century.

      Don’t ban nukes. Ban Communism.

      1. Oh, and for the record, the Nanking massacre is generally held to have killed three hundred thousand people. We should put a banner on the Enola Gay saying, in Japanese, “You rape Nanking again, we bomb you again.”

  5. At times it seems the universe is out to make me miserable.

    1. How so? Trump threads? James Patterson books? Turkey bacon?

  6. Everybody’s going to be talking about the Libertarian Party this weekend as the delegates select their presidential nominee in Orlando.

    I don’t want to be part of a libertarian group who can agree on a nominee.

    1. “Everybody” being a statistically small blip of people.

    2. Technically, they only have to agree for a libertarian moment while a ballot is cast and then go back to squabbling.

      1. If they were true libertarians, they’d all vote “None of the Above”

        1. True libertarians would auction off the slot to the highest bidder and then refuse to vote for him on the grounds that anybody so hungry for power that he’d buy the slot can’t be trusted with the office.

          1. So what if someone bid in it for someone else?

    3. For certain values of “everybody”.

    4. It’s OK, they’re not really libertarians.

    5. Better than talking about Trump.

  7. Everybody’s going to be talking about the Libertarian Party this weekend as the delegates select their presidential nominee in Orlando.

    Then off to DisneyWorld.

    1. The proper joke was “for very, very small values of everybody

  8. That study about cell phones causing cancer in lab rats…

    This is good news. I’m tired of all these pretentious lab rats waving iPhones in my face.

    1. Android Eclair 4 Lyfe!

    2. That is how the ruling class views us.

    3. iPhones for Algernon

  9. President Barack Obama called for an end to nuclear weapons at the first visit by a sitting U.S. president to Hiroshima.

    Too bad he’s not in a position to do anything about it.

    1. Quite the opposite, he wants to spend a trillion more on nukes.

  10. Louisiana’s governor has signed into law a bill that adds the targeting of police or emergency personnel to the state’s hate crime laws.

    They didn’t choose to be like they are!

    1. [golf clap]

      And notice the sly extension of that from police to “emergency personnel”.

  11. Totally O/T:

    DePaul Sociology Prof resigns over Milo Visit.

    Not because of the protest, but because “free speech is a “delusional” idea rooted in “market ideology.”

    http://www.breitbart.com/milo/…..ilo-visit/

    1. Good riddance.

    2. And nothing of value was lost.

      1. No shit. This sort of thing makes me want to bring back loyalty oaths for faculty hiring.

        To believe that universities are simply neutral platforms for “equal” exchanges of ideas, the so-called free speech rooted in the market ideology, is delusional and that positional objectivity ends up reinforcing the exact inequalities and dominant ideologies upon which this institution is built. It is a hypocrisy to believe that one can promote diversity without tackling the racism that underlines all educational institutions.

        What a deluded woman.

        1. I’m sure if Oberlin had a loyalty oath, it would sound something like that, rather than what you’re thinking.

          1. Yeah, they wouldn’t get to choose their own oath. To the Constitution, bitches.

        2. That is certainly the dumbest thing I’ve read today.

          1. Scroll down for the comedy stylings of american socialist.

    3. At least he is consistent. If only the rest of the profs would make the connection between the marketplace of ideas and the marketplace of deals.

    4. Stupid ass loser DePaul professor is DeGone!

  12. That study about cell phones causing cancer in lab rats doesn’t say what all the panicked headlines are saying.

    I just wonder if the rats have a better data plan than I do.

    1. Were the mice constantly talking on speakerphone in public? If so, they deserve their cancer.

  13. Imagine that: Trump spouts off-the-cuff statement on national TV, and then reneges. Will this hurt him?

    1. He has already elevated Bernie Sanders as his potential equal, therefore hurting Hillary Clinton.

      1. If I find myself so low as to be equal to Bernie Sanders, I’d have to rethink my life.

  14. Virtual assistants such as Amazon’s Echo break US child privacy law, experts say

    An investigation by the Guardian has found that despite Amazon marketing the Echo to families with young children, the device is likely to contravene the US Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA), set up to regulate the collection and use of personal information from anyone younger than 13.

    Along with Google, Apple and others promoting voice-activated artificial intelligence systems to young children, the company could now face multimillion-dollar fines.

    “This is part of the initial wave of marketing to children using the internet of things,” says Jeff Chester, executive director of the Center for Digital Democracy, a privacy advocacy group that helped write the law. “It is exactly why the law was enacted in the first place, to protect young people from pervasive data collection.”

    1. Yeah, because every kid wants to see ads for Depends, Pepto-Bismol, and denture cream.

      1. Oops, that was ageist. Sorry.

        1. [Shakes cane in Tonio’s direction]

        2. Being wheeled around while you drool and pee in your pants……….the circle of life.

        3. Well, now we all have an unforgettable insight into *your* browser history. Mind bleach, please?

    2. Wait until government information on such underage children is released.

    3. I love that this asshole has no problem with the collection of data for people over the age of 13.

      Oh wait, I bet he only cares about corporations collecting the data, government doing it is fine.

    4. One advert for the virtual assistant includes a young girl talking to Siri, while its latest commercial features Cookie Monster from Sesame Street.

      *faints*

      1. Joe Camel was unavailable for comment.

        1. Executed for crimes against humanity.

    5. “…the internet of things…” WTF? Fuck off.

      1. “Internet of things” should win dumbest phrase of the century.

  15. Iowa’s Supreme Court has banned sentences of life without parole for juveniles convicted of murder as cruel and unusual punishment under the state’s constitution.

    So all you kids scheming to commit murder, add doing it in Iowa to your plans!

    1. I see the message as: “Kill your enemies before you reach the age of 18.”

      1. Enjoying the lamentations of their women will have to wait until they’re of age to consent.

  16. Blonde Estonian Olympic Triplets

    There’s a million photos of them online. Some more appealing than others. I personally get a little Eastern-European-flavored “Dueling Banjos“-vibe from them. It reminds me of a time I pulled into a 24-hr McDonalds at like 3am in the middle of the smokey mountains, and it was staffed entirely by quintuplets. Did i eat the nuggets? Yes. but it was because if i figured i was in some sort of Jacob’s Ladder-nightmare, i might as well not go hungry.

    1. Yikes, talk about androgyny….

    2. They look like Kalahari Bushmen with Photoshop’s ‘MakeItAryan’ filter cranked to ~90.

      1. That’s hilariously accurate. The slit-eyes and the squat heads is very bushman-like.

        1. A lot of Finns have that look to them too.

    3. They are obviously elves of some sort.

    4. They look a little like Huey, Dewey, and Louis.

    5. How’d you know they were quints?

      1. As Johnnie Cochran used to say,
        “If they all squints, you know they’s quints.”

  17. Rensselaer County prosecutor Joel Abelove gave Troy cop immunity in shooting death

    Rensselaer County District Attorney Joel Abelove declined to obtain a waiver of immunity from a Troy police sergeant when the officer testified before a grand jury that cleared him of wrongdoing in the shooting death of a Watervliet man, according to two people briefed on the matter.

    The district attorney’s unusual decision not to require the officer, Sgt. Randall French, to waive his immunity from prosecution means he cannot face criminal consequences for his conduct during the April 17 shooting incident. French told investigators that he fired eight rounds from his service weapon, killing Edson Thevenin, a 37-year-old DWI suspect who was unarmed. French opened fire when Thevenin’s car rolled into the officer’s legs, pinning him against a police cruiser following a brief pursuit, according to Troy police officials.

    1. And they did it exceedingly quickly so that the state AG couldn’t appoint a special prosecutor.

      1. That is part of the story, and one I intended to share.

        Schneiderman, in the lawsuit he filed last month seeking control of the investigation, claimed that Abelove illegally took the case to a grand jury after Abelove’s office was notified that the attorney general was launching an investigation. Abelove personally presented the case to the panel five days after the fatal shooting.

    1. “Come play with us, Gilmore. Forever and ever and ever.”

    2. “I hope real battles will be as kewl as these war games!”

    3. From Bundesarchiv:

      “French forces training, Maginot Line, March 1940”

      1. I like

    4. Hey…we going to get laid!

      1. “it’s always sausage with you, isn’t it?” Whore.

    1. Hahahaha, awesome.

    2. +1 “Hoocha-hoocha-hoocha…Lobster”

    3. That. Is. Awesome.

    4. People probably choke on purpose when they’re around him.

    5. Staff sprang into action, preventing the new resident from interfering with their operation as they phoned for EMS. The resident expired, but they prevented the new resident from injuring himself. Later they learned the new resident’s name, and were they ever sorry!

  18. President Barack Obama called for an end to nuclear weapons at the first visit by a sitting U.S. president to Hiroshima.

    The best headline.

    For the Twitter-averse, NBCNews headline: “Obama: Hiroshima Visit to Underscore the ‘Job’s Not Done'”

    1. That is totally hilarious.

  19. “President Barack Obama called for an end to nuclear weapons at the first visit by a sitting U.S. president to Hiroshima.”

    Was Enya playing in the background?

      1. Whatever.

        Goes to Japan and that’s what he comes up with?

        Fack.

        1. Honestly it would have been a better use of his time if he just sat around jerking it to sailor moon tentacle porn.

      2. I was imagining “Only Time” as the background music.

    1. versus “Normal” Kansas, being far from the mitigating effects of large bodies of water, heats up almost as badly as texas.

      1. Yeah. Oh yay “only” normal upper 90s and sometimes low 100s instead of….110s?

    2. I wonder if work would let me stay in Kansas for the next three months. I don’t fare well in normal NYC summers.

  20. Louisiana’s governor has signed into law a bill that adds the targeting of police or emergency personnel to the state’s hate crime laws.

    That’ll fix everything, that will.

    1. But cops deliberately targeting non-cops isn’t a hate crime, no sirree.

  21. The most relevant PM link: The fall of Salon.com

    It became harder to find “high-quality” work amid all the clutter. Twelve current and former employees said they were discouraged from doing original journalism out of a concern that time spent reporting could be better spent writing commentary and aggregate stories. Even the site’s marquee names, like Walsh and Miller, were expected to produce quick hits and commentary on trending topics, staffers said.

    The strategy alienated some of Salon’s longtime journalists.

    “The low point arrived when my editor G-chatted me with the observation that our traffic figures were lagging that day and ordered me to ‘publish something within the hour,'” Andrew Leonard, who left Salon in 2014, recalled in a post. “Which, translated into my new reality, meant ‘Go troll Twitter for something to get mad about ? Uber, or Mark Zuckerberg, or Tea Party Republicans ? and then produce a rant about it.’ ? I performed my duty, but not without thinking, ‘Is this what 25 years as a dedicated reporter have led to?’ That’s when it dawned on me: I was no longer inventing the future. I was a victim of it. So I quit my job to keep my sanity.”

    Poor Andrew Leonard. I wonder if that’s his excuse for always going full derp on Ayn Rand and libertarianism.

    1. Yeah, we were their punching bag and bete noir.

    2. Like anyone needed more proof that Salon was nothing but a progressive-clickbait machine.

      If you read articles there from 2000 or so? Its like WTF HAPPENED? they were actually a ‘literary journal’, trying to be some kind of “Online New Yorker“, highbrow-media.

      Now its shit so stupid you’re embarrassed on *behalf* of the retards who churn their stuff out. They simply recycle Alternet stories, churn out “me-too” pieces that barely meet the standard of College-paper opinion-sections.

      1. Fun fact: I once had a date with Laura Miller.

        1. A quick image search yielded this

          …adding “salon” to that yielded… this

          When you say, “Date”, did you pay?

          1. Gads, what an unflattering picture. She’s put on weight in 20 years, but this is more what I remember. It was just a first date, so it was Dutch.

            1. Never ask a woman to “go Greek” on a first date.

              The more you know.

      2. I never really read pre-derp Salon.

        Hence when I came across an old debate between Charles Murray and (IIRC) Michael J. Sandel over libertarianism, I was astounded that they once put out such content.

        1. Oops, it was Slate. Similar principle applies.

          1. It does. Slate was more ‘newsy’ than Salon (like Atlantic to the NY’r), but both were aiming to be highbrow reading online.

            Both slid deeply into a derphole, and slate has only sort of half-crawled out.

      3. I love pulling out this article – http://www.salon.com/2000/02/03/card/ – probably the worst, most openly, admittedly-biased interview I’ve ever seen…anywhere.

        1. most openly, admittedly-biased interview

          Yeah, but it says so in the headline.

          Hell, I read the guy’s wiki entry, and I hated him too afterward

          Card’s vocal opposition to same-sex marriage and other views on homosexuality led to a boycott of the film version of Ender’s Game[33] ? a development which itself received criticism.[34] ..

          Describing himself as a political liberal[36] and moral conservative,[37] Card’s ideals concerning society?as well as foundational themes within his fiction?are described communitarian.[36][38][39] In 2000, Card said, “Most of the program of both the left and the right is so unbelievably stupid it’s hard to wish to identify myself with either. But on economic matters, I’m a committed communitarian. I regard the Soviet Union as simply state monopoly capitalism. It was run the way the United States would be if Microsoft owned everything. Real communism has never been tried! I would like to see government controls expanded, laws that allow capitalism to not reward the most rapacious, exploitative behavior. I believe government has a strong role to protect us from capitalism.”[40]

          A vocal supporter of the U.S.’s War on Terror,[41][42] according to Salon, Card is close to neoconservative concerning foreign policy issues.[43]

          he’s basically a libertarian anti-christ

        2. Two awful people in a room. Piss on ’em both.

        3. Just quickly read the first 1/3 or so of the interview, and if there’s something especially yucky about the way its done is that – despite announcing her bias at the front – the way she documents the interview is by doing this =

          – Author’s Question
          – Card’s Answer
          – *Author than makes post-hoc asides about why she doesn’t like the answer, rather than RESPONDING TO HIM to give him a chance to make his case.

          she also repeatedly pretends to inject “what he must be thinking” without ever actually asking him.

          e.g. – She assumes he must hate her for “being a lesbo communist” when he’s [according to his bio] as commie as she is – he’s just not so pro-marxist so much. she somehow misses his points because she’s jumping to assumptions from the fact that he’s “religious” and “pro-war” … she just assumes that therefore he’s “economically conservative”.

          even if you dislike your interlocutor, its a terribly dishonest way to treat a subject.

          Its indeed pretty awful. Even if Card is a shitheel, she comes off worse.

  22. President Barack Obama called for an end to nuclear weapons at the first visit by a sitting U.S. president to Hiroshima.

    In the immortal words of the Boston Globe:

    More Mush From the Wimp

  23. Associated Press wins the “best coverage” award for the recent IG report re: Hillary’s Email thing.

    Instead of layering everything in Clinton campaign-spin a la the WaPo or NY Times, they just list =

    Things Clinton Has Said Repeatedly Which IG Report Proves Weren’t True

    1. “Over the months, Hillary Clinton misstated key facts”

      Nope. That doesn’t cut it either.

      1. “Johnny, did you draw on the wall with your crayons? And you better not misstate key facts to me!”

      2. “Miss”stated? OMG so sexist

      3. I said “Best”

        Its only because everything else was such dogshit, really.

        1. That’s how I clear the bar on Mother’s day.

  24. “President Barack Obama called for an end to nuclear weapons”

    He’ll change his tune when he learns of the latest racist Chinese aggression.

    1. It’s like the ad wherein the brown bear turns out to have been a polar bear wearing a dirty fur.

      1. It also answers the age-old question, where does a bear do its laundry? Anywhere it wants to.

  25. I came to the party too late to post this on the Global Warming thread, so I do it here:

    Steven McIntyre has a relevant post examining how models’ predictions compare to observations:

    In the present case, from the distribution in the right panel:
    *a model run will be warmer than an observed trend more than 99.5% of the time;
    *will be warmer than an observed trend by more than 0.1 deg C/decade approximately 88% of the time;
    *and will be warmer than an observed trend by more than 0.2 deg C/decade more than 41% of the time.

    These values demonstrate a very substantial warm bias in models,… which cannot be dismissed by mere arm-waving about “uncertainties” in Schmidt style. As an editorial comment about why the “uncertainties” have a relatively negligible impact on “bias”: it is important to recognize that the uncertainties work in both directions, a trivial point seemingly neglected in Schmidt’s “daft argument”. [It] relied almost entirely on the rhetorical impact of the upper tail of the observation distributions nicking the lower tail of the model distributions. But the wider upper tail is accompanied by a wider lower tail and, for these measurements, the discrepancy is even larger than the mean discrepancy.
    [Using] up-to-date data, the t-test used in Santer et al 2008 is …3.835, far outside usual confidence limits.

    1. That’s ok, t, the guys here are into hot models.

      1. The question is, for what?

    1. So, they’d rather he bang the sorority girls without condoms?

    2. University of Georgia President Jere Morehead said the contract should have been more closely reviewed and items “that were objectionable” should have been removed.

      You paid the man 65k for 15 minutes of his time – I don’t think you understand who had the power in that relationship.

  26. President Barack Obama called for an end to nuclear weapons at the first visit by a sitting U.S. president to Hiroshima.

    Ok, President Carter, you go first.

  27. Women say the darndest things:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbXfrZt-6pw

    1. I was expecting a clip from The View.

    2. My respect for SCTV went even higher when I learned recently that they’re the ones who first did the Jeopardy bit (as seen on SNL).

      1. Dude,

        SCTV is LEGEND.

        It’s arguably even better than SNL.

        1. It’s arguably even better than SNL.

          Not hard.

        2. One gave the world Blues Brothers.

          But the other gave Canada Bob & Doug.

          1. SCTV was better overall though I think.

            And one half of that is Canadian – Dan Ackroyd. In fact, Lorne Michaels is Canadian which makes SNL Canadianish.

            I’m not one too care about all this but it’s impressive that Canadians came up directly or indirectly with SCTV, Kids in the Hall and SNL.

            1. Also. Look at the cast and where they went afterwards. They left a pretty big mark on comedy on the continent.

              1. And yet I doubt 1 in 20 people (in the USA) could tell you what SCTV is/was.

                1. That’s the channel with Property Brothers and House Hunters, right?

                2. That’s the channel with Property Brothers and House Hunters, right?

              2. But Harold Ramis and Joe [O’]Flaherty did National Lampoon’s Radio Hour first. And SCTV was an outgrowth of the producers at Second City from Chicago.

                If you want an earlier screen product from the Second City empire, see “The Monitors”, an adaptation of the Keith Laumer novel.

              3. John Candy, Eugene Levy, Katherine Ohara, Rick Moranis, Joe Flaherty…..yeah, I think so….

            2. Talented Canadians come to the US to make a success of their lives. The rest stay behind and bitch about what a terrible place the US is. :-p

              1. Pretty much.

                Let them bitch.

            3. SCTV was far better, but when you consider how highly produced it was, you’d figure it to be at least somewhat better.

              The CBC came up with the Royal Canadian Air Farce (radio, mostly) and Frantic Times.

    1. Manchester United? I had no idea that MLB had another expansion team.

    2. As if we needed any more reason to hate Man Utd.

      I just hope City lose in CL qualifying.

      1. Amen to that. They’re perfect for each other.

    3. I have nothing to say.

  28. “President Barack Obama called for an end to nuclear weapons at the first visit by a sitting U.S. president to Hiroshima.”

    Do you ever wonder if libertarians started talking about nuclear weapons the way they did under Reagan if they might be getting more than 1% of the vote? These twin obsessions with Ending the Fed and Gold! Mania don’t seem to be attracting actual humans to our cause.

    1. Did you know that all US wars, except the Mexican War, were funded by inflation? Ending the Fed is about ending the wars.

      1. Don’t forget the “twin obsessions”

        1. In Estonia, they have a triplet obsession.

    2. Nuclear disarmament is so hot right now.

  29. Neil Geiman has a lovely Lovecraftian Sherlock Holmes story.

    A Study in Emerald

    “You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive,” that was what he said to me, and my mouth fell open and my eyes opened very wide.
    “Astonishing.” l said.
    “Not really,” said the stranger in the white lab-coat, who was to become my friend. “From the way you hold your arm, I see you have been wounded, and in a particular way. You have a deep tan. You also have a military bearing,
    and there are few enough places in the Empire that a military man can be both tanned and, given the nature of
    the injury to your shoulder and the traditions of the Afghan cave-folk, tortured.”

    The gods and men of Afghanistan were savages, unwilling to be ruled from Whitehall or from Berlin or
    even from Moscow, and unprepared to see reason. I had been sent into those hills, attached to the the —–Regiment. As long as the fighting remained in the hills and mountains, we fought on au equal footing. When the skirmishes descended into the caves and the darkness then we found ourselves, as it were, out of our depth and in
    over our heads.

    I shall not forget the mirrored surface of the underground lake, nor the thing that emerged from the lake, its eyes opening and closing, and the singing whispers that accompanied it as it rose, wreathing their way about
    it like the buzzing of flies bigger than worlds.

    1. Which short story collection is that in? I feel like I’ve ready it, but can’t quite remember.

      1. Not sure. A friend emailed it to me.

      2. I think it’s in Fragile Things

      3. Just read it in the “New Cthulhu: The Recent Weird” anthology – via kindle.

    2. That story is a perfect example of how overrated he is

  30. Bruised and ‘beaten’ Amber Heard breaks down after accusing Johnny Depp of attacking her: Actress tells judge her husband hit her with an iPhone as she is granted restraining order against him

    Heard alleges that Depp hit her in the face with his iPhone and then fled when police arrived on the scene according to TMZ.

    Heard was ultimately granted a temporary order by the judge, who ruled that Depp must remain at least 100 yards away from Heard until their next hearing, which is scheduled for late June.

    She was also granted the right to live in the family home, but failed in her bid for sole custody of one of the couple’s dogs.

    The judge ruled against Heard however in her attempt to collect spousal support from Depp and have him cover her attorney fees.

    Lots of close-ups of a woman with a bruised face (Longtorso porn).

    1. Ha!

      Bitch doesn’t need to be told twice, amirite?

    2. A Depp’s Love is not like a Square’s Love.

    3. Heard was ultimately granted a temporary order by the judge, who ruled that Depp must remain at least 100 yards yarrs away from Heard until their next hearing…

      FTFY.

    4. Looks like once again, Captain Jack escaped before the authorities could get there. Good old Sparrow, always one step ahead of the law.

      1. They will always remember the day they *almost* caught . . . Mr. Accessories.

    5. Again with the goddam dogs!!!!!!

    6. I always wondered how they measured 100 yards in actuality. I mean, if he’s 90 yards away, who will calculate that? And does he have to carry a football? I guess it would be hard, you know, given he has scissors for hands. He does have scissors for hands, right?

  31. Life is good, people. A weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

    My wife and I are planning a booze-laden brunch tomorrow. Headed to Costco shortly. Other than bacon and king crab legs, any suggestions?

    1. The ham that tastes like despair.

      1. No ham of despair. And this is Costco. I especially don’t want a 6 month supply of ham of despair.

        1. But it’s all the rage in Orlais – and it matches my mood.

        2. You guys can crack me up.

        3. Is it spiral cut?

          1. Not that I would know anything about that. Yahweh WILL curse you and your generations.

      1. Crusty’s aphrodisiac of choice, or so I’ve heard

        1. Only when the Bagel Bites have a cooked exterior, but a frozen exterior. That, combined with some Cel-Ray, is sure to result in a long night for someone special.

    2. Eggs Benedict, but use smoked salmon instead of Canadian bacon and toss in a few capers. Make sure you have St. Germain to punch up your mimosas, or dilled green beans if you’re doing bloody marys. Fruit with whipped cream with vanilla and Cointreau. No fucking Grand Marnier, it’s too sweet for the rest of the mix.

      1. That eggs benedict idea sounds amazing

        1. It’s works really well because it’s unexpected, but you already know that lemon, butter, capers and salmon work beautifully together.

          1. Also, Julia Child’s blender hollandaise sauce is obscenely easy to make. She poo-poos it as being not as good as the hand-made one, but it’s the best I’ve had.

            1. nice.

              I will try that out as soon as I’m allowed to eat runny eggs and smoked salmon again

              1. I will try that out as soon as I’m allowed to eat runny eggs and smoked salmon again

                I’m guessing congratulations are in order? Did I miss an announcement (haven’t been around much lately)?

              2. Pasteurized eggs. You can find them in specialty stores. Same with feta cheese.

                Jeez, it’s like this is your first time being pregnant.

      2. Thank you for the first serious answer, Jesse.

        Speaking of whipped cream and cointreau…
        I’m thinking crepes. One of Costco’s newest impulse buys.

        1. Best breakfast drink ever: Bugey de Cerdon. Renardat-Fache or Bottex will do.

      3. Oh, and if I failed to mention it, the Mrs. eats pork now. So happy about that.

        1. These euphemisms…

    3. ept was negative?

      1. ‘A weight has been lifted from my shoulders.’

        Sounds like a goiter-ectemy.

        1. I can no longer read the word “goiter” without thinking of SugarFree’s Hillary-fic.

          It’s a blessing. And a curse.

        2. Decapitation? Haircut? Shave? Contact lenses?

      2. Better. I never have to see my mother-in-law again. Ever.

        1. To clarify: she’s not dead. My wife just excommunicated her, which is something that has been an issue for several years.

          1. Is the pork eating related?

            1. No. She ruined my SIL’s beautiful wedding in Connecticut last weekend because she’s crazy and can’t stand to not be the center of attention. And then she refused to go to the med school graduation the next day as part of her tantrum. Buh bye.

              My wife started eating pork because she wants to be awesome.

              1. That is the best reason.

    4. Plantains.

      1. I’ll do a full lap before I even start shopping. Fridays are gold. I hope the sausage dudes are there (no homo).

    5. Also, pick me up some raw pecans and frozen salmon fillets, thanks.

    6. Ritz Crackers and some Easy Cheese.

      1. Well la di da, Mr. Trump! I’ll take my usual saltines and Velveeta. Oooooh, and some vienna sausages. Thanks.

        1. Like the canapes on My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss?

      2. Nah, just had it for lunch.

  32. Getting rid of nuclear weapons is impossible. It’s simply never going to happen. The cat’s out of the bag. Humans can’t unlearn the technology, and as long as somebody has access to them, other people are going to need them to deter attacks, except of course if there is a nuclear apocalypse that wipes out 90% of the planet, but then the point it moot.

    1. Getting rid of slavery is impossible. Hey humans are just wired that way and you might as well try to fuck a gnat before you try to get rid of the master-slave relationship on the Southern plantation.

      The only sensible thing for Liberty lovers to do is bitch and moan about some Democratic politician who wants crazy people to check-this-box before buying a gun all the while maintaining the ability to kill a couple of billion people in the course of an afternoon with nuclear weapons. Makes sense to me, libertarians!

      1. They should just cut out the middle man and make murder illegal. It would be easier than your government gun registry.

      2. American Socialist Derp de Derp. Derp de Derpity Derpy Derp. Until one day, the Derpa Derpa DerpaDerp. Derp de Derp. Da teedily dumb. From the creators of Der, and Tum Ta Tittaly Tum Ta Too, American Socialist is Da Derp Dee Derp Da Teetley Derpee Derpee Dumb. Rated PG-13.

      3. Getting rid of slavery is impossible

        Well, humanity hasn’t managed it yet…

      4. Slavery still exists, dumbass.

      5. Not a good analogy at all. Abolishing slavery does not expose a country to a huge threat from countries that still do.

    2. No not even that would work. All over fallout I find plenty of mini-nukes still laying around.

    3. Technology is killed by obsolescence. Once we’ve figured out a way to throw chunks of antimatter at each other, nobody will care about nukes.

    4. Moot? What about that other 10%? The apocalypse-hardened 10%! You’re not going to get them so easy.

  33. Sorta interesting =

    Vietnamese Man Convicted in Al Q. Terror Plot

    unlike most terror-prosecutions, this one appears to be no-shit real. The guy was making preparations to bomb Heathrow.

    it may be old news, as the ‘plot’ was in 2010. he’s been waiting to get sentenced all this time.

    1. Justice is swift in jolly old England.

      1. Seems to be a US prosecution.

  34. Reposted from yesterday =

    Trump Reveals Energy Plan = DESTROY THE PLANET ASAP

    No mention of whether Koch’s were behind it.

    1. Basically, What I do as a libertarian is a 4-step process

      1. Bitch about Republicans
      2. Wait for the Republicans to nominate their candidate
      3. Rationalize– a lot.
      4. Bitch about the NYTime bias against Republicans

      1. Who needs that many steps when children are starving?

      2. American Socialist Derp de Derp. Derp de Derpity Derpy Derp. Until one day, the Derpa Derpa DerpaDerp. Derp de Derp. Da teedily dumb. From the creators of Der, and Tum Ta Tittaly Tum Ta Too, American Socialist is Da Derp Dee Derp Da Teetley Derpee Derpee Dumb. Rated PG-13.

      3. You’re not a Libertarian, let alone a libertarian.

  35. Somebody should do a study to determine whether cherry-picking data causes cancer.

    Someone should do a study on how cherry-picking data causes increased grant funding.

    Dirty secret of grants: you’ve already done most of the work, the grant is to get more stuff for the next grant proposal.

    1. Lubo? Motl’s take on the rats-with-cell-phones grant scam:

      http://motls.blogspot.com/2016…..s-get.html

      1. That’s excellent. Todah rabah!

      2. What are you,a statistician? Burn the witch!

      3. Rats today can’t afford to wait until they get back to answer calls. You never know when you might need a rat on a moment’s notice.

  36. Am I the only one who loses the stylesheet when I hit refresh instead of clicking through links to get back to the new comments?

  37. HuffPo Business’ response to Peter Thiel’s Gawker destruction: There’s A Solution To People Abusing Their Wealth. Super-High Taxes.

    What does it mean that Thiel has amassed enough wealth ? and thus enough power ? to make a credible attempt to cripple a major media company by throwing money at the legal system?

    It doesn’t necessarily tell us that individuals shouldn’t be able to fund litigation. It tells us that some people in this country have too much money.

    1. But there’s another way to prevent this kind of abuse of power: taxes. What this country really needs isn’t a law to keep incredibly wealthy people from funding litigation in an attempt to destroy the First Amendment. We just need fewer incredibly wealthy people.

      Economists agree. Back in 2014, my colleague Ben Walsh wrote about a report by Fabian Kindermann from the University of Bonn and Dirk Krueger from the University of Pennsylvania that found the ideal top marginal tax rate on the highest 1 percent of earners ? the tax rate that makes everyone in society the most well-off overall ? is between 85 and 90 percent. That’s more than twice the current U.S. top rate of just under 40 percent, which is paid on income above $415,050 for individuals and above $466,950 for couples.

      1. Fabian Kindermann

        Oy

      2. Fabian Kindermann

        Soft Socialist Child-Man. I wonder what conclusions he came to.

    2. So it does mean individuals shouldn’t be able to fund litigation?

    3. The rape accusations against Silicon Valley venture capitalist Joe Lonsdale are horrifying.

      And some people keep getting hired to write the same shit. Must be a Columbia graduate.

      1. Mr. Lonsdale… began to penetrate her with his flaccid penis.

      2. She’s asking for “at least $75,000” in damages.

        This sounds like the sort of dollar figure that might plausibly be low enough to make a problem go away quietly.

    4. Huffpo really gets it

      1. She used graphs. Also, she is a business reporter. Are you a business reporter? Didn’t think so.

      2. OBTW, are they still reporting Trump news under “Entertainment?”

    5. Bill Haff ? Works at Self Employed and Loving It!

      The point of high tax rates on extremely high income is NOT to collect more money for the government, it’s to prevent people from getting paid that extremely high income in the first place. When tax rates are high on income above a million dollars there’s no point in even paying those gigantic salaries, because the income will all just go to taxes. So the money stops going to one small group of people who just pile up the cash for no reason except vanity, it stays in the general shared economy, where it serves a useful purpose.

      I give up.

      1. High taxes will also reduce medical costs since the rich folks will no longer be able to dive into pools of gold coins.

    6. My favorite section:

      Of course, if we take away the plutocrats’ power by taxing them at higher rates, that money ? and the power that goes along with it ? will go to the government instead. And governments, to state the obvious, abuse their power all the time, including here in the U.S. But elected officials are still accountable to the public, and bound by the Constitution, in ways that individual billionaires are not. Do we want the power of regulating the press to be in the hands of the many or the hands of the few?

      1. Do we want the power of regulating the press to be in the hands of the many or the hands of the few?

        Silver lining: it’s almost like they’re admitting we have too many elected officials, right? Maybe?

      2. Mob rule sounds cool – I wonder if anyone has tried it before?

        1. You’ve never seen the documentary Escape From New York?

    7. The asspain coming from these people is the best way to celebrate Memorial Day.

  38. Kid pedanted so hard he deleted his twitter account.

  39. Paging Lenore

    “You can’t just let your kid run anymore. You get arrested, basically,” she said. “I want him outside and to learn things on (his) own.”
    Not all the photos inspire warm nostalgia. Habing often captures Tharin with toy guns, and she’s noticed that the images raise eyebrows. To Tharin, anything can be a weapon, whether is a water gun, a stick or a piece of cardboard.

    They are not “gun people,” she said, but there are actual guns around the farm. More likely, he learned it from TV or video games, she said — he certainly plays more of those than she did.
    Or maybe it’s just Tharin. Or just age 8. Or just boyhood.

    1. Or just boyhood.

      Surely you’re not implying that boys might somehow be different from girls.

    2. Or maybe it’s just Tharin. Or just age 8. Or just boyhood.

      Try the latter. Little boys like to imagine themselves as heroes. And that often involves being the good guy with a gun “getting the bad guys”.

      1. Like those goddamn russkis, or the krauts, or worst of all the injuns.

  40. President Barack Obama called for an end to nuclear weapons at the first visit by a sitting U.S. president to Hiroshima.

    Nukes, like firearms, are never going away. That is all.

  41. Louisiana’s governor has signed into law a bill that adds the targeting of police or emergency personnel to the state’s hate crime laws.

    Does nobody understand that punishing the motivation amounts to punishing thought?

  42. IFLS

    Giant Brain Found on Ocean Floor

    The team of scientists on a deep-sea expedition in the waters off Hawaii discovered what they say is the world’s largest known sponge.

    The creature, roughly the size of a minivan, was discovered about 7,000 feet down in a marine conservation area off the shores of the Northwestern Hawaiian Islands. The rare sponge, with a bluish-white color and brain-like appearance, stunned scientists when it appeared in the remote cameras attached to their underwater rover.

    Reuters probably called it “Lorry-sized”

    1. But certainly not an articulated lorry.

  43. President Barack Obama called for an end to nuclear weapons

    I’m guessing he recently re-watched Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.

    1. I’m no fan of Obama, but even I doubt he would choose to watch that movie more than once.

  44. Canadian Mafia = Probably Last Decent Mafia Left in North America

    *I’m sure there’s a few elsewhere, but probably less purely-Italian.

    1. Montreal. Different rules from the rest of Canada.

  45. Council of Islamic Ideology: Pakistani Religious Body Says Men Should Be Allowed to ‘Lightly Beat’ Wives

    The council on Thursday released a draft of a women’s protection bill that included language saying “light beatings” were justified if wives didn’t wear specific clothing or refused sex, reports said.

    1. Is this a surprise to anyone these days?

  46. Aristotle: Archaeologist Says He Found Ancient Greek Philosopher’s Tomb

    Kostas Sismanidis said he believes the tomb resides in a horseshoe-shaped building in Stagira, Greece, because the location reportedly matches one mentioned in a biography about the philosopher.

  47. Thailand: Python Emerges From Toilet and Bites Man’s Penis, Official Says

    The man is recovering in the hospital after the snake, who survived the encounter, bit him while he was using the bathroom in his Chachoengsao province home, a rescue official said.

    1. My ex-wife used to do that. Of course, she was a shiksa…

  48. OK, are the squirrels out of work? New study shows that layabouts don’t get the best jobs!

    “Accepting a Job Below One’s Skill Level Can Adversely Affect Future Employment Prospects”
    […]
    “Accepting a job below one’s skill level can be severely penalizing when applying for future employment because of the perception that someone who does this is less committed or less competent, according to new research from a sociologist at The University of Texas at Austin.”
    Search
    UTNews
    The University of Texas at Austin

    Yep, if you could be coding, but you’d rather schlep coffee the local cafe, since coding is hard, well, you might find people aren’t interested in hiring you later.

    1. Better to remain unemployed & take a chance on getting a better job?

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  51. Somebody should do a study to determine whether cherry-picking data causes cancer.

    That’s hardly cherrypicking. The link between tumours in male rats and cell phones was unexpected and surprising according to the researchers. Evident in the data and statistically sound. It challenges current theorizing in this science.

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