A.M. Links: Trump vs. Clinton vs. Sanders, Facebook Denies Suppressing Conservative News, Obama Plans to Visit Hiroshima


  • CNN

    Voters head to the polls today for presidential primaries in West Virginia and Nebraska.

  • According to a new poll, "former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are running neck and neck in the key presidential Swing States of Florida, Ohio and Pennsylvania, but Sen. Bernie Sanders of Vermont runs stronger against the likely Republican nominee."
  • President Obama plans to visit Hiroshima later this month. It will be the first time that a U.S. president has visited the site of the atomic bombing.
  • Facebook is denying reports that it suppressed conservative news.
  • "The State Department has lost all archived copies of the emails sent to and from the man believed to have set up and maintained Hillary Clinton's private email server during the four years she served as secretary, it said on Monday."

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  1. Voters head to the polls today for presidential primaries in West Virginia and Nebraska.,/i


    1. Tag failure detected. -10 points

      1. That’s what makes it authentic.

        1. Too hipster -1,000,000 points.

          1. +1 artisanal light bulb

        2. Proof that it was handcrafted by the honest, hardworking, indigenous people of…wherever.”

          1. +1 room full of ikea

          2. Whoever… orphans.

    2. Hello.

      “Do Democrats want Hillary Clinton to pick Elizabeth Warren as her running mate?”


      No. Just. No. Please no. Noooo!

        1. Smoked pork bellies, or else pemmican.

        2. It is balloon!

    3. WDATPDIM?

  2. According to a new poll, “former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are running neck and neck in the key presidential Swing States of Florida, Ohio and Pennsylvania…”

    Saggy neck and saggy neck.

    1. I lol’d

    2. Unpossible. I am reliably informed that the GOP has brought DOOM upon itself and only an independent run by Mitt Romney can save the country.

  3. Do Democrats want Hillary Clinton to pick Elizabeth Warren as her running mate?

    If they want to do the surefire thing that will give Trump the election, sure.

      1. Two squaw in same teepee spell heap big trouble for tribe.

        1. “I knew Cherokees. And let me tell you, Senator, you’re no Cherokee”

          1. I drove a Cherokee. Once. And Senator …

    1. That’s what I was going to say.

    2. I disagree. It’s about the only thing that might energize the Sanders supporters

      1. Other than Sanders himself?

        1. Well, yeah. But I have a hard time seeing that.

      2. That was my thought, too, but I also think it will energize the right somewhat more against Hillary.

  4. “Do Democrats want Hillary Clinton to pick Elizabeth Warren as her running mate?”

    Does two make it a coven yet?

    1. Silly Switzy, they have Aides to make up the rest of the requirement.

      1. Do apprentices count as full witches? Any Wiccans around here to help?

        1. A bowl full of Bill’s spunk is her animal familiar.

          1. /eww!

        2. Been there, done that?

          Wait, I think Crusty done that.

      2. I’ve heard Wiccans dance naked during the full moon.Picture THAT.

        1. [vomits, dies]

        2. It’s true. My grandmother used to run one. I’ve SEEN pictures. And spent a lifetime trying to forget..

          1. Though I don’t recall mention of “wicca”. Still, it was some kind of witchcult. I’d never even heard of “wicca” as such till years later. Not that that means anything. I remember a lot of crap lifted from Nordisk paganism and Tibetan sorcerism. My other grandma was more hidebound and conservative and stuck with good old fashion spiritism and the Atlanteans. She did kind of raise the stakes, though, by claiming to be Jesus Christ (but never with family). She was a lot more successful than the sorceress, but then a gang of witches is probably by nature going to be tougher to handle than a bunch of spiritist neoxtians full of god’s love and looking for the messias in all the wrong places. No wonder they got old and died.

            1. One of the reasons I come here is to be reminded that I have led a comparatively sheltered life.

      3. You sound like Trump.

        “Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren both have AIDS”.


    2. I thought two or more Progs was a smug.

      1. Thanks for using that.

        1. No worries. I also take requests.

    3. So which one is the Mother and which one the Crone? I think the Maiden position is still open, unless that is Chelsea.

      1. I can’t think of an attractive Democrat virgin. And they’d give it to Lena Dunham anyway.

        1. I can’t think of an attractive Democrat virgin

          Debbie Wasserman Schultz

          1. Well, she does appear to attract grease.

          2. Your taste just hit a new low.

            1. You ain’t seen nothing yet, MPG…

  5. Do Democrats want Hillary Clinton to pick Elizabeth Warren as her running mate?

    This would either make a great or terrible sequel to Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

    1. “Gunt Runner”?

      1. *gags, but manages to begin applauding*

    2. “I want more electoral votes, fucker!”

    3. I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Sniper fire off the airstrip at Kosovo. I watched dildoes glitter in the dark near the Jade Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears…in…rain. Time to vote.

  6. We try the new, limited edition squid viscera potato chips from Japan

    Contrary to, or perhaps in light of, criticism from talento and commenter Matsuko Deluxe, the brand’s caviar chips became a big hit, and now those who have been craving a bag or missed out the first time around can grab a bag at any Lawson convenience store from May 10. The same goes for the new fermented squid viscera flavor, which our RocketNews24 Japan staff decided to taste test just before its release date.

    Hey, after all if the caviar potato chips tasted all right despite the fishy odor, surely fermented squid guts could be just as promising, right?

    1. Tentacle potato chips? What did the tentacles do beforehand?

      1. In Japan?! Probably raped some Anime character, right?.

    2. Look, Japan, there’s a reason most of the world either throws out or mulches thost parts of the fish.

        1. The romans had an excuse – severe lead poisoning.

    3. link no worky because of special characters. Much apologies.

    4. I had some ika shiokara (raw squid in squid liver sauce) once upon a time in Costa Rica. I don’t think I could get that drunk again.

      1. Yeah, I hate that stuff, too. Almost as bad as ika natto.

        1. That seems …. mean.

    5. Fermented fiscera is an essential condiment. Though I did used to know a guy who went kind of overboard wi it. He used eat everything swimming in a bath of the stuff. But then, he had an alliums allergy and so stuck to a diet completely devoided of onions or garlick. It probably fucks a person’s cravings to hell.

      1. One wonders why the obvious choice of name wasn’t just “Fish Sauce Flavor”. shock value? Is the logo an eviscerated cartoon squid?

  7. Facebook is denying reports that it suppressed conservative news.

    Why is no one ever proud of being the gatekeeper?

    1. “One former Facebook news curator, also unnamed, challenged the Gizmodo report, telling the Guardian that newsworthiness was judged by how often an article appeared in trusted news outlets such as the New York Times and the BBC. This person did not see any evidence of conservative news being suppressed.”

      See? There’s no bias. Newsworthiness is simply measured based upon whether or not a particular story is found in the NYT, which clearly exhibits no bias whatsoever.

      1. +1 Pauline Kael

      2. The unnamed source continued, “We then cross-reference with Salon to verify whether this is an actual concern of the American people or merely a PHAIK SKANUDLL.”

    2. Does your sphincter want to log out?

    3. The secret to being an effective gatekeeper is to not let anyone realize there’s a gate at all.

      1. It’s going to be difficult to hide once you find the key master.

        1. Now this is a bonerfide euphemism.

  8. Agony of being a 50/50 mum: Women once held the upper hand in custody battles. Now fathers are winning EQUAL access… and mothers are struggling to cope
    Nicola Hewitt, 42, an office manager from Kenley, Surrey, faces the trauma of being without her children Devon, 10, and Sonny, eight, every weekend

    …This is the reality for Britain’s growing legion of 50/50 mothers, who divide their time with the children equally with their exes. It’s a growing phenomenon that – on the surface – might seem the fairest way for separated parents to organise their lives.

    But it comes at an emotional price for the mothers involved – and the consequences for children are as yet untold.

    Veronica Sweeney-Bird is one such mother who wishes more than anything that her two little girls were having a more relaxed, stable childhood. Instead, every other Thursday, she drops one off at nursery and one at primary school, full of foreboding as she kisses them goodbye….

    1. Aww, their little money magnets get to spend time with their fathers and the whiny mummies are throwing tantrums because they can’t hurt their ex as much as they expected to.

    2. Because any feelings fathers might have about being separated from their kids just don’t count.

    3. Veronica Sweeney-Bird


      *** regains composure ***

      Sorry, Mrs. ….. Mrs. ……. Sweeney-BHAHAHAHAHA!!

      1. Hey – it’s better than Sweeney-Todd.

    4. Field of fucks, barren, etc.

    5. “But it comes at an emotional price for the mothers involved – and the consequences for children are as yet untold.”

      Pretty sure there have been numerous studies on the benefits to children of having a fatherly presence in their life. Also pretty sure I could give fuck-all about the emotions of the women involved who would prefer to deprive the father of any contact with his children.

      1. Being raised by a single mother is the single greatest predictor of poor educational and professional attainment as well as criminality and probably some other bad shit too. Like AIDS or Hitler.

    6. The kids are having trauma because their parents are separated. If she wanted to avoid trauma for their sake she and the father would not have separated. It is really dirty to make her kids pain a rationale for her to get what she wants.

      1. God forbid they work something out to maintain a stable home for their kids. If they can’t get along, get friend with benefits and fake it. People will divorce and damage their kids’ lives for the most shallow and self centered reasons. I get it that sometimes marriages are not fairy tales. But once there are kids involved make whatever compromises are necessary to give your kids a stable home.

        1. It is the worst in academia. People divorce over nothing. Then no one is happy and the kids suffer but somehow it is better than compromising on some principle.

        2. I went to high school with a girl who was the youngest of 3 girls, and as soon as she graduated, her parents divorced. They didn’t want the drama and B.S. to mess up any of the girls’ lives, so they waited until after high school. I’ve always thought of that anecdote as the absolute perfect example of sacrificing for your kids.

    7. Veronica Sweeney-Bird is one such mother who wishes more than anything that her two little girls were having a more relaxed, stable childhood. Instead, every other Thursday, she the evil bitch drops one off at nursery and one at primary school…

      If she really wanted, instead of merely wishing, she could give the girls’ father full custody and then they’d have that more relaxed, stable childhood she claims to want for them. So why is she not the bad guy here for withholding that?

    8. “Veronica Sweeney-Bird is one such mother who wishes more than anything that her two little girls were having a more relaxed, stable childhood. Instead, every other Thursday, she drops one off at nursery and one at primary school, full of foreboding as she kisses them goodbye….”

      So, she wishes for this MORE THAN ANYTHING and yet nevertheless goes ahead and does exactly the opposite on EVERY occasion. So, yes, we have to shiver to imagine how bad must be the father if the mother’s this stupid… Now I’m starting to wonder bout the children.

      “might seem the fairest way for separated parents to organise their lives.” If there’s anything where fairness should not make it to the top of the list of considerations, it’s this one, yet the writer puts it like this like all rightthinking people would naturally insist upon FAIRNESS in custodial arrangements.

  9. Facebook is denying reports that it suppressed conservative news.

    This was all just a big misunderstanding.

    1. It was just some rogue agents in the Cleveland office.

      1. Not a stich of a whiff of corruption!

        1. This is old news. Why are you still talking about it?

  10. President Obama plans to visit Hiroshima later this month.

    Lots of nice golf courses there.

    1. Their bunkers suck though.

      1. *starts to narrow gaze, looks to Swiss for a ruling*

        1. Don’t you mean ‘glaze’?

    2. Japanese woman on the green with me “Ah so, nice birdie”

      Me: “Oh thanks, I’ve been working out lately”

      1. “What do you mean — ‘wrong hole’?”

    3. President Obama plans to visit Hiroshima later this month.

      71 years too late!

      1. Is he there to apologize?

  11. Report: Man arrested after ‘CHEETER’ spray-painted on ex-girlfriend’s car

    The Union County Sheriff’s Office said 36-year-old Timothy Lee Trammell was spotted crouching in a store parking lot beside a car with the word “Cheeter” painted across the passenger side.

    According to the incident report, Trammell told deputies he was mad at his ex-girlfriend and wanted to get back at her. The woman told officials she wanted to press charges for the damage.

    1. What a moran.

      1. Or an ideot.

    2. Cheeter huh? Thats someone who trains cheetahs right?

      1. No, someone who is addicted to Cheetos.

      2. “Cheeters”. I was thinking those cheese flavoured arachiform chips people feeds to the squirrels at the park.

    3. Cheater or Cheetah? Spelling matters!

      1. Probably means Cheetah cause she is hooking up with a guy a couple years younger than her so she’s not quite a Cougar yet

  12. Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are running neck and neck in the key presidential Swing States of Florida, Ohio and Pennsylvania

    Rubber-necking usually follows wanton carnage.

  13. http://www.therebel.media/_hob…..ew_subject

    Which one of you deviants identifies as a hobosexual? Come on, there has to be at least of you out there. Crusty?

    1. What I do in a dumpster behind a Greyhound station is my business. My body my choice!

      1. You can identify as whatever you like.

      2. How many hitchhikers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

        None. Hitchhikers don’t screw in light bulbs, they screw in tarps and sleeping bags.

        1. larf.

        2. You forgot rest stop bathrooms.

    2. John, your hobophobia isn’t welcome here!

    3. You know what they call it?

    4. This shit bums me out.

  14. President Obama plans to visit Hiroshima later this month.

    If he’d done this his first term, back when he had magical powers, he might have finally healed the earth there.

  15. “President Obama plans to visit Hiroshima later this month. It will be the first time that a U.S. president has visited the site of the atomic bombing.”

    Gee, I can’t wait to hear another one of Obama’s craven shameful apologies.

    1. That is what I was thinking.

      Don’t worry. He is just a fart in the wind really, we will get over him. The man is a disgrace but us bitter clingers will be around a long time after he is gone.

    2. He’ll go as close as he can to an apology.

      He thinks he’s soooo smert that we can’t see it.

    3. The appropriate response is the US will apologize for nuking Japan when the Japanese apologize for all the shit they did to everyone else including Unit 731 activities, i.e. never.

      1. If the Japanese ever apologized for all that, how could they go on pretending to be victims of atomic terrorism?

      2. I certainly don’t think targeting civilians was an appropriate use of the bombs, but Japan has no moral high ground where it concerns the targeting of civilians for death, enslavement and mass rape.

        1. It wasn’t, but the the choice was tough.

          The US would have won eventually, but both sides would have had casualties that were orders of magnitude higher than when compared with the 2 nukes.

          Japan was an aggressor. What they did in Nanking and how they treated their POWs (including officers) are well-documented.

          Our elitist POTUS is still going to apologize though, the genuflecting dumbass he is.

          1. how they treated their POWs (including officers)

            I may be strange, but I don’t believe officers deserve treatment any different from the regular schlubs.

            1. This is what I was thinking of when I wrote my comment –

              Japanese soldiers shooting blindfolded Sikh prisoners.

              Japanese troops using prisoners of war for target practice, 1942

              1. That’s inappropriate treatment for any prisoner.

                1. Yup.

                  What’s up with the tradition of treating officers as special? Does that go back to the days of the nobility?

                  1. Might as well ask why the cop in front me in line this morning got free coffee and donuts.

                    That’s just the way it is.

                  2. Yes. The knights were of noble blood and the foot soldiers were all farmer schmucks. It was rife in the Civil War as well. Riff-raff were sent to Andersonville to die of crotchrot and the officers were sent to prison where they could play cards and an organize ludicrously east escapes.

                    1. It’s not necessarily a deference to nobility for nobility’s sake. Back when the officers were nobility they were given better treatment because their families had money. Unlike the common levies, you could ransom an officer back to his family for a nice sum of cash. You didn’t put them in an easily escapable prison, but at the same time you didn’t want their accommodations so shitty that they died before you could cash in.

                    2. I prefer my escapes north, personally.

                  3. “Officer and a Gentleman” and all that. Yes, definitely a throwback to a more caste age.

          2. It was a false choice. The options were not simply; 1) incinerate a city full of women, children and elderly or 2) full scale land invasion of Japan. The third option was to drop those bombs on military targets, formations, fleets, bases and defensive positions. It would have had the same shock and awe and given the same impression of facing an unbeatable enemy. Not to say that civilian causalities would have been entirely avoided or entirely out of the question, but killing them would not have been the priority.

            But this was the era of “strategic bombing” which was little to with strategy and more to do with inspiring fear in the civilian population which as it turns out never worked to undermine the belligerent government’s base of support anywhere it was tried. When the Japanese government surrendered, no one was more stunned than the civilian population that was ready to fight to the last man and woman.

            1. civilian population that was ready to fight to the last man and woman

              Right – so nuking Hiroshima and Nagasaki still saved lives. Besides, Lemay was systematically firebombing every city in Japan so even without the nukes most of those civilians in Hiroshima and Nagasaki would have died when it was their turn, and the rest would have perished when the invasion came.

              1. Firebombing Tokyo killed more civilians than the A-bombs.

                Also, Hiroshima and Nagasaki were important military targets. Another city (Kyoto, maybe?)was removed from the bombing list because it did not have enough military significance.

            2. And it’s not like we didn’t already firebomb and obliterate dozens of entire German cities.

              1. And it’s not like we didn’t already firebomb and obliterate dozens of entire German cities.

                And fucking Tokyo.

            3. If “When the Japanese government surrendered, no one was more stunned than the civilian population that was ready to fight to the last man and woman” is true, then why wouldn’t they be valid targets? Or even a priority, if they were more motivated than even the government?

            4. Free, Those cities were military targets, given the munitions production and staging areas they were aiming for.

              And do you think the army was going to muster to defend areas nice and neatly separated from the populace? The coastal defences might have counted, but they were buried and diffuse. both a waste of a nuke, and an easily covered up event. “We lost a few bunkers to a single bomb” has far less of an impact on the Emperor than “We lost a city to a single bomb.” And in the end, it was swaying the Emperor against the military high command that led to the surrender.

            5. Funny how many responses act like I ignore that civilians were targeted outside of the A-bombs being used. I specifically called it the “era of strategic bombing” and said that it never achieved the stated aim anywhere it was applied. Read the fucking comment you’re responding to before you respond to it.


              Free, Those cities were military targets, given the munitions production and staging areas they were aiming for.

              And hardly the only available targets. They were chosen because of the convergence of military and civilian targets in one location. Civilians were targeted directly, they weren’t just collateral casualties.

              And do you think the army was going to muster to defend areas nice and neatly separated from the populace?

              And do you think I didn’t just say that civilian causalities could not necessarily be out of the question or could be entirely avoided?

              It wasn’t simply a choice between a lone Japanese watchtower on the coast or a civilian hub, so there’s no need to reduce it to such a stark choice.


              Another city (Kyoto, maybe?)was removed from the bombing list because it did not have enough military significance.

              Kyoto was removed from the target list because of the ancient cultural significance of the city, it was thought that might galvanize Japanese resistance instead of breaking their will by destroying it.

              1. But, to quote you, there WERE no civilians.–

                When the Japanese government surrendered, no one was more stunned than the civilian population that was ready to fight to the last man and woman.

                Can’t have it both ways.

                1. But, to quote you, there WERE no civilians.–

                  Can’t have it both ways.

                  When did I say there were no civilians? I said that strategic bombing does not work to dissuade the civilian population of it’s will to fight, as evidenced by the fact that “When the Japanese government surrendered, no one was more stunned than the civilian population that was ready to fight to the last man and woman”. I never said there were no civilians in Japan or whatever the fuck you’re blathering about.

            6. ^This


              Whenever the US or some other favored nation does something shitty in war, defenders act like the only two options were doing that thing or flat out surrendering and ceding the entire country to the enemy.

        1. We should. We should have just taken the data and prosecuted the ever living hell out them. I’ll give the Soviets credit for hanging them. It’s just more proof that MacArthur was an unmitigated asshole.

          1. We should go there? Nuking Japan was the right thing to do. Using the results of their gruesome human experiments is a bit problematic, don’t you think?

            1. The information is blameless. The collection of it was reprehensible.

              1. The ethics question is “Once the information exists, do you make use of it knowing where it came from?”

                1. My ethics tell me “no”. Not to mention that most of that stuff was probably already known from animal experiments anyway.

              2. The gun is blameless. The knife is blameless. The information is fruit from the poisonous tree, to my thinking. I’m not in favor of advancement at all costs. Humans may advance that way, true, but what survives may no longer be human.

                1. And, even then, it took two.

                  1. Wow. That was random placement.

              3. “The information is blameless. The collection of it was reprehensible.”

                The pardoning of the collectors in exchange for the information is not blameless, however.

    4. You want me to pass a message to him?

      1. Yeah, just extend both middle fingers and yell “fuck off, slaver”.

    5. I can’t wait to hear another one of Obama’s craven shameful apologies

      Maybe he’ll point out that we saved millions of Japanese lives by nuking a couple of cities that would have been fire-bombed anyway?

  16. The TITTOO: Why the breast tattoo is more popular than ever

    The age of the tattoo basically shows no sign of coming to an end.

    And one tat fad that’s definitely taking off is the trend for ladies to get a ‘”tittoo” ? that is, their their breasts inked.

    Although there are no statistics on the precise locations people are getting inked, more and more women are taking to the Internet to proudly show off their colourful, chest designs.

    Stefan Dinu, of London’s Inkaholics tattoo studio, believes the rise in women getting their best assets tatted is down to a rise in women getting inked in general.

    1. That is just wrong.

      1. “Well, they’re *your* boobs, Honey. You can do was you want.”

        1. *what*

          *** gets coffee ***

        2. Sure, but that doesn’t make it a good idea.

          1. I once saw a woman with a photorealistic, actual-size tat of a Colt .45 pistol on the top of her boob. I did not stare.

            1. I once knew a man with a tattoo of a fly on the tip of his dick. The fly had beady red eyes and was smoking a joint.

              No one stared. More like a full-body synchronized group wince.

              1. So you were in a group of people wincing at his dick? Even if you were in a gym shower, it’s amazing that you were able to glean so much detail for having not stared. I’m impressed.

                1. Hamster claims to be a woman, Free, and guys with dick-toos love showing them off.

                2. “I have a tattoo on the tip of my dick.”

                  “Never! Liar.”

                  “Do so! It’s a fly with beady red eyes, smoking a joint.”

                  “No one’s buying that, buddy, pull the other one.”


                  Gleaning detail was not difficult. Imagine the kind of guy who would tattoo the tip of his dick with a fly with beady red eyes, smoking a joint, and then ask yourself what part of this picture fails to include working said tattoo into every possible conversation.

                  1. Imagine the kind of guy who would tattoo the tip of his dick with a fly with beady red eyes, smoking a joint, and then ask yourself …

                    I am imagining that kind of guy and I’m asking myself why you didn’t head for the hills.

                    1. Why would I care that much about what an acquaintance had inked on his tender bits?

                    2. Well, I find tatts repulsive so maybe it’s just *me* that would head for the hills.

                  2. Meat gazer.

              2. “No one stared.”

                A group of people were looking at it? By choice?

                1. To be honest, I would’ve. Certain phenomena just have to be seen to be believed.

          2. +1 Bonnie Rotten

            1. Damn straight. She’s the good kind of disgusting.

          3. Back in my single days, my favorite bartender at my favorite bar had a tattoo that just peeked out the top of her shirt. I had strong interest in seeing the rest of that tat.

            But you dont mess with the bartender:client relationship.

            Actual conversation-
            Me: i think you know what beer I need better than I do.
            Her: Yes.

    2. I just don’t get it. If you have any appreciation of the human body, covering it up with graffiti is not attractive.

      1. So ugly people should get tats, then, right??

      2. I disagree. Whether or not a person is physically attractive is a subjective matter.

        In other words, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.

      3. And the attraction of it gets worse and worse. My dad was my grandfather’s 4th kid, in his 2nd family, so my Uncle John is in his 80s (for comparison, my Uncle John is only 5 years younger than my maternal grandparents). Uncle John was in the Navy post WWII doing his drafted duty as an enlistee, and his tattoos just look ridiculous at this point, and were not looking good even when I was a little kid 20 years ago.

  17. Good Girls, Bad Girls
    …Feminism, at it’s core, is basically: “Fuck you society, I won’t be the good girl you want me to be!”

    This is why it’s beloved of ugly chicks who can’t sexually compete, and those with obvious Daddy Issues.

    I see my role, as a man, is to recognize their capacity for depravity, both sexual and emotional, and to offer the dominance and guidance to reign them in. Women, even as they get outraged at the very notion, simply want a man they respect to tell them ‘No’, and offer them structure and guidance. One good way I’ve heard this described on here was “She is the ocean, and you are the rock, and the furies of her storms have no impact on you. You are unyielding.”

    If you’re stoic, she gets to indulge her emotions with a safety net that stops her from self-destructing, and she will adore you for it. …

    1. Die Angry and Alone With This One Weird Trick

      1. [golf clap]

      2. Best way to sum it up.

    2. No, JB, you told yourself you were just going to skip over Longtorso’s posts… walk away… no, really, don’t look, just walk away…

      1. If we all just walk away we’ll end up back together in China, where Johny has set his trap. I suggest a serpentine pattern.

    3. This seems just as bad as Jezebel stuff that gets linked on here.

      1. That’s all it is, Jezebel for the MLG fedora 360 noscope crowd.

        1. The members of the two groups seriously need to hook up already. They are perfect for each other

      2. It’s just the limp penis side of the same coin.

    4. What is your opinion on TITOOS, Johnny?

    5. “Sexually compete”

      Whatever makes you feel better about always finishing first

      1. It is a race, and winning is important.

        1. So much so that Johnny always finishes before he even shows up at the girl’s work and asks her out.

    6. I wonder how long until this movement spawns the male equivalent of a “Political Lesbian”. IE, a straight man who chooses to sleep with men and tries to be gay out of a general dislike of women.

  18. “The State Department has lost all archived copies of the emails sent to and from the man believed to have set up and maintained Hillary Clinton’s private email server during the four years she served as secretary, it said on Monday.”

    If I may quote the commenter Sage:

    1. That may have been in response to the end of the story:

      Clinton herself is expected to answer the government’s questions about the email setup in the coming days or weeks.

      By who? I defy you to show me one single person who expects Hillary to answer the questions. Unless you define “answering the questions” as “not answering the questions in as evasive a manner as possible so as to claim that you’ve answered the questions when you have, in fact, not answered the questions” or “I don’t know/recall/have that information at this point in time/Look! A squirrel!” and assure us the matter may now be firmly put behind us.

  19. “The State Department has lost all archived copies of the emails sent to and from the man believed to have set up and maintained Hillary Clinton’s private email server during the four years she served as secretary, it said on Monday.”

    They were mostly the secretary scolding him for leaving the seat up after he worked on it.

    1. Wait. You’re claiming Hillary pees sitting down?

  20. Do Democrats want Hillary Clinton to pick Elizabeth Warren as her running mate?

    Do retards want cake? The answer to both questions is the same, and for the exact same reason.

    1. If Clinton picks Warren, we might have to re-think which party is the Stupid Party and which the Evil.

      Biden picking Warren might not be a bad idea though, so we might still see Queen Elizabeth on the ticket.

  21. Naked boomers struggle to attract younger generation of nudists

    Jackson said the club’s membership numbers peaked in the 1970s at about 150 people, and now there are about 50 or 60 members.

    Jackson agrees that the club tends to draw older people, though there are a few members in their 20s.

    “It’s true, you would say that the emphasis is on older, wiser people, who in their own minds, probably have a lot less to lose,” he said.

    “Look at the social and body image pressures younger folks face, and I think there is a lot of confusion as to what the naked body is all about.”

    1. This seems self defeating. Nothing is going to turn young people away quicker then a bunch of aging sagging naked boomers.

      1. The youngest boomer is over 50. Ah, no.

    2. Or, the people you wan to ogle have no interest in seeing saggy, old people bodies.

      1. They seem to be locked into a death spiral.

      2. I’d like to call in Crusty for a ruling?

    3. semi-related. When I was staying at the hotel in San Juan, my wife and I decided to go down to the pool area. Our balcony – six floors up – overlooked the pool / hot tub area. I looked down to see how busy it was and see a woman with no bottoms in the hot tub. I look again to make sure she wasn’t wearing a skin colored bathing suit. Nope – just a pair of buttocks bobbing up and down in the water. She was actually wearing a super narrow thong/g-string that was only a few mm’s wide.

      By the time we get downstairs, the woman had gotten out of the hot tub and was wearing a pair of cut-offs.

      From the balcony she looked to be in her mid-twenties. But the reality was crueler – closer to fifty with a pair of breasts that she could play hackey-sack with.

      1. closer to fifty with a pair of breasts that she could play hackey-sack with.

        Did you happen to get pictures?

    4. Isnt that generally true? Dont most nude resorts and etc primarily cater to the 40+ crowd?

  22. Red Herring
    …A less charitable interpretation would be to assume that he understands that the real problem is that women are in full rebellion and are using claims of men not being available to lead as a cynical smokescreen for their rebellion. This is less charitable because given his insistence that the answer to the problem is not to tell women no, this would mean that he knows what the real problem is but is too fearful to do what is right. The reason for his refusal to act against the rebellion could be fear of the wrath of the women who are rebelling, or fear of acknowledging a key lie underpinning complementarianism. It could also be a combination of fear of backlash from rebellious women and a fear of backlash from other complementarian men….

    1. Oh wow!!! Tell me more, good sir! It is clear that you are able to have the sex with many beautiful women, often at the same time!!!! Your wisdom is much needed!!!11!!!

  23. The Mind-Boggling Challenge of Designing 120-Sided Dice

    Size presents the first challenge. Anyone could make a disdyakis triacontahedron big enough to easily engrave all those numbers. But try using it. “It would be heavier and bigger and more expensive,” Segerman says. At about 2 inches in diameter and 3 ounces in weight, the D120 is hefty, but still small enough to cause a few design headaches. Look at the numbers and you’ll notice a slight distortion of the triple-digit numerals where they squeeze into the sharp end of each facet. “You need to be aware of how close the digits are to the edge of the triangle,” Segerman says. “You don’t want the numbers getting cut into when its rounding off the edges of the dice.”

    1. A d100 never stops rolling, how is a d120 ever going to return a result?

      1. d100 never stops rolling

        A perpetual motion machine?

        1. Within the scope of a tabletop game, it might as well be.

      2. D100 is a golf ball. Its horrible.

        Use two differently colored d10s the way God intended.

        And a d12/d10 combo for a d120.

        1. A d12/d10 combo doesn’t give the same 1/120 odds of rolling any given number between 1-120. (No chance of rolling a 1, multiple combos return the same number.) What combination of least number of dice/least number of sides per dice/least number of rolls could give you the same range of roll results as what they’re currently using? For example, suppose you first roll a die to see which die or dice you roll, how many rolls you use to arrive at your number, whether you use addition or multiplication on multiple rolls, etc. There’s a math problem more fun than playing DampD anyway, ain’t it?

          1. You use the 10 for the single digit and the 12 (0-11) for the tenspot. 00 would be 120.

            problem solved.

          2. You’re either overthinking this or not thinking about it hard enough.

            Roll the d12 and the d10. Take the result of the d12, subtract one from it, multiply it by ten, then add the result of the d10. Consider a roll of 0 to be a roll of 120.

            There ya go. The dice roll 1-120 with an equal chance of rolling any number.

            This is pretty much how gamers already roll 1d100, just using two d10s instead of a d12 and a d10.

    2. Pointless. You can roll 1d120 with a d12 and a d10.

    3. Definitely a novelty die, but it could be fun in the right circumstances.

      The Benny Hill-esque nature of its roll would be perfect for a zany critical fumble / wild magic table.

  24. “The State Department has lost all archived copies of the emails sent to and from the man believed to have set up and maintained Hillary Clinton’s private email server during the four years she served as secretary, it said on Monday.”

    When do coincidences stop being coincidences?

    OT: Could someone give me the Spark Notes version of the PB bet? I must have actually been working that day.

    1. I believe this falls into the category of “enemy action.”

    2. It was a stock market bet between him and Playa I think, with the loser having to donate (with proof) to Reason

      1. Shreek has offered plenty of proof, in the form of saying “I DID SO PAY THE BET” and then disappearing for a day or two anytime he is asked about it. If i’m not mistaken, Matt Welch has confirmed that no such donation has been received.

    3. When do coincidences stop being coincidences?

      Look, AW, President Obama assured us that Hillary did nothing wrong and that there’s no corruption at the IRS. Not a smidgeon. Sure, all of the evidence that could conclusively prove things one way or the other just happened to get destroyed lost, but shit, Lois Lerner and Hillary Clinton are just the unluckiest people in the world, I guess.

      Move along….

    4. Keep in mind that you have at least several different investigations going on here, the State Department’s “investigation” of Hillary, which is a subordinant “investigation” as to what sorts of illegal/unethical conduct was going on in the State Department itself which may very well be a subordinant investigation (no scare-quotes) as to what anybody outside the State Department can actually prove and therefore how much the State Department can successsfully bury, and the DoJ investigation of both Hillary and her merry little band of crooks, of the State Department and of the State Department’s “investigation” and possibly the State Department’s investigation if there is one. And we’re not sure if the DoJ itself is conducting an “investigation” or an investigation. Conspiracy theorists could be living off this shit for the next century.

  25. This is why I have a blind spot for Trump. I can’t help but like someone who pushes around and abuses the media like this. Chris Cuomo is an idiot son who couldn’t run a welk stand and has no business having the platform he does. I loath these people. It is just so much fun watching Trump push them around. And its not like Obama does it. They love Obama and ask for and enjoy the abuse. Cuomo hates Trump and would no doubt love to make him look bad. Instead Trump treats him like he is Micheal Corleone taking to Moe Green. “You slap my brother around?” And Cuomo just wilts. I can’t help but enjoy this.


    1. At the very least it should be a learning opportunity for Republicans that not only do you not need to fear the media, but if you’re smart you can make the media your bitch.

      1. The trick is he never looks defensive or gives them any credit. Cruz tries to be a tough guy but can’t help himself but to take on every point and winds up looking defensive. Trump doesn’t give their points any credence and winds up dominating them. Its beautiful to watch.

        1. That is the trick. I noticed it first with Paula Dean controversy, and the Duck Dynasty controversy. One person apologized over and over, while the other person did not, and which individual is still around?

          Never go on the defensive with these idiots, never apologize to these idiots, because if you’re not willing to defend yourself then nobody else is going to be willing to defend you either.

          1. You are never going to reason with them or talk your way out of something. Trying only makes it look like they have a point.

            1. Trump understands Alinsky.

              RULE 5: “Ridicule is man’s most potent weapon.” There is no defense. It’s irrational. It’s infuriating. It also works as a key pressure point to force the enemy into concessions. (Pretty crude, rude and mean, huh? They want to create anger and fear.)

              He probably hasn’t read Alinsky. As a master manipulator, he has probably internalized this rule all by himself.

          2. See also, Augusta National. It helps that they had fuck you money many times over.

        2. Cruz at CNBC Republican debate: “The questions asked in this debate illustrate why the American people don’t trust the media. Everyone home tonight knows that the moderators have no intention of voting in a Republican primary … Let me say something at the outset: The questions asked in this debate illustrate why the American people don’t trust the media. This is not a cage match. And you look at the questions — Donald Trump, are you a comic book villain? Ben Carson, can you do math? John Kasich, will you insult two people over here? Marco Rubio, why don’t you resign? Jeb Bush, why have your numbers fallen? How about talking about the substantive issues? The contrast with the Democratic debate, where every thought and question from the media was, which of you is more handsome and why?”

          Doctor: [laughs] Right, kick ass. Well, don’t want to sound like a dick or nothin’, but, ah… it says on your chart that you’re fucked up. Ah, you talk like a fag, and your shit’s all retarded.

          1. Exactly that. Republicans and Libertarians both have to learn to treat the media with complete contempt. There is no point in trying to win them over or be reasonable with them.

            1. The inescapable problem with democracy is that elections are won by appealing to the emotions and base instincts of morons.

              Elections cannot be won by reasoned debate.

              1. No they can’t be won by unappealing nerds and pedantry. They have to be won by appealing to people who necessarily care or buy into your ideology. It is called theoretic and is not necessarily incompatible with reasoned debate.

                If you can’t figure out how to get people to support your ideology, maybe it isn’t as good of an idea as you think it is? You don’t do yourself any favors by dismissing everyone who disagrees with you as a moron. Sometimes they are for sure. But sometimes you are the moron. When you are you need to be self aware enough to realize it.

                1. This is true, but with salesmanship there is more to it than even that nuance.

                  There really is nothing to be gained by pretending that the media is seriously trying to elucidate positions and educate the votes. However, by falling for the “treat them with contempt” trap you also lose.

                  There are tons of questions pointed at republican candidates that are primarily designed to get a defensive reaction. I’ve noticed this on the Today show several times this spring, with Lauer and company badgering Trump or other Republican guests with repeated versions of the same “gotcha” question, hoping to have their Katie Couric moment.

                  When they control not only the press conference but also the news cycle, it is really difficult to break through with a Trump-esque moment of “That’s a stupid question. Here you have a chance to ask the next president anything in the world, and that stupid question is what you waste everyone’s time with. You should be ashamed! Your bosses should be embarrassed that they put you on the air with that stupid question…”

                  Even if that was the only appropriate response (as it has been many times already this year), there would be no escaping the 24/7 punditry avalanche that would follow.

                  It really does look like a Hobson’s choice for Republican candidates. They can get away with a rant or two, if it is done well. But eventually they will end up looking nutty as the media keeps the pressure up.

    2. A “welk stand”? Like, a stand that sells marine gastropods?

      1. Yes. It is a very quirky British saying. Apparently people used to eat them and it was very easy to sell them.

        1. I googled it. All of the results were Dutch.

          1. He could have said “a whelk sand” and confused you even further. John’s Type-O’s are as well known as his knee-jerk defense of the GOP.

        2. Chances of a welk in a supernova is from Douglas Adams.

    3. Any time Chris Cuomo gets bitch-slapped for being a shitty, partisan “journalist” on the Clinton News Network is going to be entertaining, especially when it is done by a virtuoso like Trump.

      I still loathe Trump.

      I think he’s entertaining, but loathsome.

      1. Is there anyone in that family that has done anything worthwhile?

        1. Grandpa Cuomo ran a grocery store successfully.

          1. I wonder what went wrong.

      2. I haven’t been paying close attention (okay, I haven’t been paying attention at all) but I had a suspicion that Cuomo wasn’t just a Trump-fan-up-until-he-gets-the-nomination like everybody else, that Cuomo really was a New York Values kind of guy and really is a Trump supporter, that Trump and Cuomo are like two peas in a pod. CNN has done as much as anybody to support Trump by just giving him a mic and a camera and letting him say whatever he wants anytime he wants on their network, given him untold millions and millions in free airtime.

        Trump complaining about how unfair they are to him is utter cry-bully horseshit, the exact same PC-thug crap he’s supposedly fighting against. He knows whining and crying about how mean they are to him gets them to bend over backward to accomodate him lest they get tarred as unfair anti-Trump bullies picking on weak little old defenseless panty-waist Donald. (The same way they have to treat Obama completely different than they would treat a white President lest they get accused of racism for treating him different than they would a white President.) And then when they treat him the same as they do everybody else, Trump wails “unfair!” and all his idiot supporters start clamoring about the unfairness. Just like when Trump claimed if the GOP didn’t change the rules to suit him, he bawled “unfair!” and they all started squawking that Trump was right, not giving him unfair treatment was unfair to him. And that somehow made sense to them.

        1. Why would any Cuomo be a Trump fan when Hilary is still in the race? Say what you will about polls but Hilary is going to clobber Trump in NY by a huge margin. “NY Values” are “establishment Democrat”, not “populist RINO”.

  26. The State Department has lost all archived copies of the emails sent to and from the man believed to have set up and maintained Hillary Clinton’s private email server during the four years she served as secretary, it said on Monday.

    This is outrageous bullshit. The FBI had jolly well better be squeezing the minions.

    1. “I do not recall.”

      “I can’t remember.”

      (chuckling) “Please check the archives.” (chuckling)

  27. Are you single tonight? A lot of beautiful girls waiting for you to http://goo.gl/pI9ucn
    The best adult dating site!

    1. Paging Johnny Longtorso…

  28. The corporate ‘cure’ for sexual harassment only feeds the disease
    …We all know in the real world the off-color joke told by the cool male coworker may be deemed acceptable, but when uttered by the awkward, pot-bellied, older guy, it’s contributing to a hostile environment and potential fodder for a lawsuit.

    A woman who wants to go out with her colleague or even her supervisor may well be flattered when he makes an advance, but the hapless guy who mistakenly thought she was interested can end up in big trouble….

    1. Dudes don’t have to have any redeeming qualities in order to deserve the attention of attractive women! My mom says so! LONGTORSO

      1. The key to picking up women: Be attractive. Don’t be unattractive.

        1. And confidence is super attractive, i learned far too late in life.

          PUA bullshit is NOT confidence. It is the emotional clown makeup that barely hides the self-loathing and flailing panic beneath.

          1. It is the emotional clown makeup that barely hides the self-loathing and flailing panic beneath.

            So, Juggalos?

            1. Without the Faygo.

            2. Juggalos get laid more often, though.

              1. Juggalos get laid more often, though.

                I’ve seen the evidence on Jerry Springer.

          2. PUA bullshit is NOT confidence.

            But it may systematize the habits of confidence just enough to fool PUA artists.

            PUA artistry sophistry is more about duping its practitioners than it is about reprogramming the women it’s supposed to work on.

            1. I think alot of it is about teaching spergs to fake confidence, and thereby boost their perceived attractiveness. In theory, anyway.

          1. That’s twice in a week! What the hell? Get it together.

              1. It is just whiney defeatism. I have been that way, but I had the good sense not to put it on the internet. I know guys like that, though. They not only think they are entitled to a woman, but an attractive, fairly subservient woman. It is awful to be around.

                1. Do you think its generational?

                  1. Do you think its generational?

                    I think some of it is. I think social media enhances their envy in some ways, such as “Heroic Mulatto has a hot wife and I don’t, and I am better than he is.” I was miserable when I thought like that, and the guys I know who are like that are pathetic at times.

                    The inability to take criticism, and their inability to be responsible for their own lack of confidence also have to be connected to more recent generations.

                    I do not know how that becomes “I blame women, and no women deserve my respect.”

                    1. I think they have it half right about feminists and it applies to them too. They are unattractive…true, but most importantly they are shallow and self absorbed. I heard a quote once, that I’m going to butcher, but the gist is that your beautiful friends become less beautiful as you get to know them, but homely friends become less homely. Appearance becomes less significant as you learn about someone. Ugliness is only a death knell if you’re a boring asshole, which PUAs and rad fems are, and they know that, which makes them even more bitter and horrible. The cycle continues.

                    2. They are unattractive…true

                      That is just their whiney excuse.

                      but most importantly they are shallow and self absorbed

                      This is what I think is generational. They think they matter. They think they are entitled to something special.

  29. My ballsack is as smooth as butter

    Researchers Develop ‘Second Skin’ That Gets Rid of Wrinkles

    A team of scientists from Harvard and M.I.T., all of whom are investors in the company that paid for the research, say they’ve found a “second skin” that can help reduce the appearance of unwanted lines, as well as treat skin conditions like eczema and psoriasis, according to the New York Times. The new material, made of safe and commonly used chemicals, temporarily protects and tightens skin, researchers say.

    There have been no reported irritations or allergic reactions among the 170 subjects tested in small studies, according to the study. The findings were published Monday in the journal Nature Materials.

  30. Chick-fil-A is dominating NYC’s fast-food rivals

    While rivals are struggling, Chick-fil-A opened up a second Midtown store last month and plans to open in the New York metro area ? one of the most unforgiving markets in the country ? 12 eateries over the next year.

    And judging from the long lunchtime lines that can stretch out the door and around the corner, plenty of New Yorkers don’t give a cluck about the founder’s son saying four years ago that he was opposed to same-sex marriage.

    Nor have efforts by Mayor de Blasio to foment a boycott of the privately held chain seem to tamp down the company’s expansion momentum.

    1. Delicious chicken trumps social signaling every goddamn time.

    2. You go Chick-fil-A. Show de Blahsio who’s boss!

      I always enjoy watching socialists face how utterly pathetic they are when it comes to their fake compassion bull shit.

      1. I checked this monring – the nearest Chik-fil-a is 73 miles away in Mass-a-taxes.

        1. Well if you head that way during lunch you’ll probably hit the drive through line within 20 miles.

          1. As awesome as CFA is, they universally have the worst parking lot designs possible.

            Maybe a leftover from the original mall strategy.

            1. I’ve noticed that too. I won’t even go during the busy time of day

        2. I checked this monring – the nearest Chik-fil-a is 73 miles away in Mass-a-taxes.

          Franchise opportunity?

          1. I don’t have the temprament to run one.

            1. But you’re guaranteed Sundays off!

              1. I have sundays off now, and I don’t have to put up with the nightmare of running a food service facility in New York.

              2. The family-owned company has unusual standards, requiring franchisees to adhere to its moral code of ethics.
                For example, all restaurants are closed on Sunday

                Been looking for this “code” and I’m not seeing anything other than “closed on Sundays”.

                1. As long I can still beat my pimpled fry cook with a spatula it’s all gravy.

    1. All women are parasites! Why won’t the hottest ones sleep with me? LONGTORSO

      1. Johnny sits alone in his bathroom with the lights off and pretends to be Suki. He says things like, “I am a fictional Asian woman”, “I am dead”, and for a brief moment he feels Suki inside his body. This is for your sake, X. I hopes Suki rests in pepperoni.

        I cri evrytiem.

        1. Okay, what’s the Suki bit?

          1. Oh my god, you don’t want to know.

            1. What’s in the bit, man? What’s in the bit!?

              1. Longtime poster that turned out to be JLT sock.


        2. [sniff]

  31. BBC: Drone killings: Legal case ‘needs clarifying’

    The British military was not authorised by Parliament to engage in military action inside Syria at that stage – but the strike was justified as an “act of self-defence”, Mr Cameron said.

    But that position is not justified under international law, and later statements justified the killing in the context of the armed conflict in Iraq.

    The committee said it accepted that the drone strike had been part of the armed conflict against IS in Iraq and Syria, and therefore covered by the Law of War.

    But there were contradictions and inconsistencies in the government’s explanation of its policy on drone strikes, the committee added.

    1. The drone wars, begun they have.

  32. Do Democrats want Hillary Clinton to pick Elizabeth Warren as her running mate?

    Unless they want every cisgendered male to vote for The Donald, that’s a poor strategy. Wait… it’s an excellent idea!

  33. “The State Department has lost all archived copies of the emails sent to and from the man believed to have set up and maintained Hillary Clinton’s private email server during the four years she served as secretary, it said on Monday.”

    They won’t find them until after the election.

    If it’s true to form, the archived copies will mysteriously appear on Bill Clinton’s desk–a gift from the FBI Files Fairy.

  34. Minnesota Lawmakers Have Introduced the ‘Prince Act’

    An 11th hour piece of legislation prompted by Prince’s untimely death on April 21 was introduced today in the Minnesota state legislature. The Personal Rights in Names Can Endure Act, or PRINCE Act (we see what they did there), aims to protect multiple aspects of an individual postmortem, including name, image, voice, and signature.

    The bill, if enacted, would grant extended publicity control to heirs of Prince’s estate and limit outide use of his name and likeness in commercial pursuits. Rep. Joe Hoppe, who introduced the PRINCE Act, called it an attempt “to recognize the right of publicity postmortem.” Though the bill’s supporters cite the artist’s death as direct inspiration for the proposal, its protections would apply to all Minnesotans, not just celebrities, and apply for 50 years following an individual’s death. It would also apply retroactively to those who died before its signing.

    1. They’re putting him on the three-dollar bill?

    2. related (well semi- related): no will for Prince, as far as is known right now. Short list of people (famous ones) who died with no will:
      Abraham Lincoln
      Martin Luther King, Jr.
      Jimi Hendrix
      Howard Hughes
      Bob Marley
      Kurt Cobain
      Amy Winehouse
      Sonny Bono
      Pablo Picasso
      Barry White

  35. Trump: ‘Women get it better than we do’
    Donald Trump said women have it easier than men do at a rally in Washington state on Saturday.

    “I mean all of the men, we’re petrified to speak to women anymore,” Trump told the audience in Spokane. “We may raise our voice. You know what? Women get it better than we do folks. Alright? They get it better than we do.”…

    1. Say what you want about Trump; the man knows his audience.

  36. (Very Lucky) Man Stands Up To Entire SWAT Team Raiding His Home With No Warrant… Records them leaving angry.


    1. That was fucking awesome!

      1. Just for that, expect some extra painful nut-punches from the Reason wags soon.

        1. Yeah, I think sometimes links to good news appear just to coax your nuts down out of your abdomen so they can be kicked real hard again.

  37. Rapture is released most exquisitely on gossamer mists ever so gently revealing the velvet dreams, my brothers. Diaphanous coilings and spillings sprinkle light feet and breezy deliverance as she divides her pulpy nectar between atoms and ages.

    1. *spins cocoon

  38. White House seeks to contain fallout from aide’s comments
    …Rhodes, who is 38 and holds a master of fine arts in creative writing, derided the press corps as too naive to cover world events.

    He said the average reporter the White House talks to “is 27 years old, and their only reporting experience consists of being around political campaigns,” suggesting that allowed him to easily manipulate media coverage of U.S. foreign policy.

    “They literally know nothing,” he said. …

    1. Another story Reason hasn’t touched. They carried as much water for Rhoades as anyone.

      1. I think I said this yesterday, but they should really check the sources, that story confirms all my biases. It’s the anti-gov version of the Jackie/Duke Lacrosse story.

        1. That is why you need to have a diverse staff. Everyone has their blind spots and things they want to be true. Everyone on the reason staff thinks exactly the same way about foreign policy and the Middle East. So there was no one there to call bullshit or question anything.

        2. It was from the Times though. I don’t feel like the Times would have published that story if it weren’t true because it reflects so badly on the administration they’ve been fluffing for 8 years.

          1. I think they are in such a bubble, the NYT didn’t realize how bad it made the administration look to “normals.”

            1. I think your giving them to much credit, I don’t think they even acknowledge that their ideological opponents can even read.

            2. Yeah, I’m not even sure whether the author of the piece realized that it made both him and Rhodes come off as enormous, smug douches, and the administration utterly incompetent.

              1. Yeah, I’m not even sure whether the author of the piece realized that it made both him and Rhodes come off as enormous, smug douches, and the administration utterly incompetent.

                The piece is more about how pathetic the media is, which is why the media is responding with outrage, because they were insulted. The administration’s incompetence is sadly not the story.

                1. I didn’t read the whole piece, only saw the snips everybody was talking about, but I assumed the whole point was to show how clever Rhodes (and by extension the Obama administration) was in working the system without realizing that the behind-the-scenes look at how clever they are in fooling the rubes let slip the idea that they think everybody’s a rube and fooling them is something to be proud of. Like a pickpocket telling you how cleverly he picked your pocket without it occuring to him that you might be less impressed with his cleverness than pissed off about the fact he stole your wallet.

          2. And it made the media look even worse. No way did the Times make up or shade a story to make the media and Obama look bad. If anything this story soft peddles the truth.

      2. On the bright side, it’s not like Reason did a good job arguing in favor of the Iran deal.

        “Despite the rhetoric, there’s limited U.S. national security interests in preventing nuclear proliferation”

        ^^ Still the dumbest thing I’ve ever read on Reason.

        1. They also clearly didn’t bother reading much beyond the headlines, as there was plenty to hate about the deal beyond inevitable nuclear proliferation (such as lifting the arms embargo and release billions in frozen assets).

      3. I posted the Rhodes story yesterday, assumed it had been addressed already (I was busy at work most of last week). Really surprised this is getting more coverage here.

      4. I posted the Rhodes story yesterday, assumed it had been addressed already (I was busy at work most of last week). Really surprised this is getting more coverage here.

    2. That is delicious.

    3. Nothing wrong with being 27 if you married your second cousin when you were 19, had 2 kids and one in the oven, and cleared the forest from your farm by the time you were 21. This was brought up yesterday regarding Byron Caplan’s musing about who is suitable for democracy. At 56, I am just about ready.

      1. Wow, you’re much older than I thought you were. Not your fault, but mine as I naively assume people with kids younger than mine are younger than me.

      2. I impulsively purchased a large Australian skateboard from CostCo about 3 weeks ago. Once I got a handle on how to get on it I rode it down my street. That didn’t go so well. I hit some walnut shell or pebble and flat-faced on the busy street for about 5 minutes while traffic backed up. My 8 yo son got huge kick out this.


    1. The archives were burned and stolen by pirates in a pirate ship, and we can’t find them.

      And there was a flood, and the archives couldn’t swim–so they all drowned. It was very sad.

    2. 🙂

    3. Perhaps someday they will be recovered in the last drawer of a locked filing cabinet stashed in the disused lavatory of an abandoned building with a sign on the door that says “beware of the leopard”.

      1. In the cellar.

        1. And the stairs were out.

      2. Perhaps someday they will be recovered in the last drawer of a locked filing cabinet stashed in the disused ….

        Or on the accent table in the front hallway…

  40. Super and Easiest 0nl!nee Home opportunity for all. make 87 Dollars per hour and Make 5500 Dollars per month.All you just Need an Internet Connection and a Computer To Make Some Extra cash.K3…

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  41. In the first ever sex issue of the Goop newsletter, perfectly timed for Women’s Health Week, Paltrow makes it her personal mission to find a recipe for a 100% organic lube that “will turn the driest of deserts into your own personal slip ‘n slide.”


    1. I am simultaneously nauseous and aroused and hungry.

    2. She is just like us.


    3. Yam? Seems like that would get all sticky.

      How about hagfish slime?

      1. Hagfish slime for lube, and sheep intestine for condoms like in the good ol’ all-natural organic days!

    4. “will turn the driest of deserts into your own personal slip ‘n slide.”

      Maybe the problem isn’t you.

  42. Number of hate crimes against Jews soars as report says anti-semitism is at the ‘core’ of far-Left beliefs
    Number of hate crimes against Jews in Britain has reached shocking high
    Police recorded almost 1,000 anti-Semitic offences in 2015 – up 25 per cent
    Findings revealed ‘growth in anti-Semitism as core part of far-Left’ ideology
    Report comes as the Labour Party is gripped by anti-Semitism allegations

    1. Is there a correlation between Britain’s increasing muslim population and increasing anti-semitic attacks?

    2. Do these hate crimes include the guy who taught the pug to ‘sieg heil’?

  43. http://www.breitbart.com/big-g…..-of-tears/

    Elizabeth Warren Ancestor Rounded Up Cherokees For Trail of Tears

    1. So it’s only right Warren should benefit by claiming to actually be a Cherokee.

    2. It still kills me that she gets away with this nonsense.

      I could almost forgive her for claiming tribal heritage if she had grown up on a res (or nearby) and actually participated culturally in the tribal life. Go to powwows. Work at various tribal charities. Shit, I’d even take her dealing black jack at the tribal casino.

      Fuck, I’ve rubbed elbows with more indians than she has. I grew up near a big res and we had lots of natives in our class.

  44. ‘You mustn’t touch me, you mustn’t touch me’: New footage of Cologne New Year sex attacks shows screaming woman as overwhelmed police struggle to control crowds of migrant men
    New footage of mob sex attacks in Cologne on New Year’s Eve
    Shows police struggling to contain the crowds at main train station
    Over 1,100 criminal complaints filed after New Years in Cologne

    1. Funny how reason dropped that story like a rock after they could no longer doubt that it really happened.

      1. Cologne got culturally enriched – good and hard.

      2. All immigration is an asset, you know.

        1. Diversity is our strength!

      3. I don’t recall them ever really picking it up in the first place beyond a link or two.

        1. They were expending too many resources covering Rotherham.

      4. Nothing to see here … move along.

        And, remember, diversity is our greatest strength.

    2. This one’s on Angela Merkel.

      That former communist b**** should be nowhere near the levers of power.

      1. former communist

        Where do you get this from?

          1. Huh, OK. Of course, it was East Germany. I would be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt given that NOT being a Communist at that time and place often had some serious consequences.

    3. ‘You mustn’t touch me, you mustn’t touch me’


  45. Spot the Not: Wade Davis

    1. Other cultures are not failed attempts at being you; they are unique manifestations of the human spirit.

    2. The measure of a society is not only what it does but the quality of its aspirations.

    3. In the West we cling to the past like limpets. In Haiti the present is the axis of all life. As in Africa, past and future are but distant measures of the present, and memories are as meaningless as promises.

    4. Western culture measures wealth by how much you consume and destroy.

    5. Only, in Haiti, I realized, is it possible to drink rum and haggle with a god.

    6. The surface of the Earth itself is an immense loom upon which the sun weaves the fabric of existence.

    1. Who the fuck is ‘Wade Davis’?

      1. The best relief picture in baseball.

      2. Isn’t he a relief pitcher for the Royals?

      3. The tennis player?

      4. ^This. Assume Derpy means the Anthropologist (had to look up that name, there are several famous living people with that name).

      5. He wrote “The Serpent and the Rainbow”.

    2. You know who else was a “unique manifestation of the human spirit”?

      1. Rocky Dennis?

      2. The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man?

    3. Good God, they are all so idiotic. I will take a wild guess at #6.

    4. I really like how #1 and #3 came from the same brain. #1 is run-of-the-mill multy kulty smug. #3 is one of the most thoroughly racist things I’ve ever read.

      Yes, Bantu people have concept of history. In Tanzania, there is a common type of wood sculpture called ujamaa (togetherness) which is a tower of people standing on each other. It’s meant to show how each generation builds off the previous one.

      The derp- it burns!

      1. Actually, the worst part would be that it strikes me as the speaker thinking the statements in #3 were complementary to the people he was insulting.

      2. True. Yet cultural differences in chronemics is still a thing. Particularly, it is true that standard American culture is strongly future-orientated; whereas, traditionally Confucian East Asian cultures are strongly past-orientated and Middle-Eastern cultures and traditionally Buddhist S.E. Asian cultures tend to be present-orientated. This leads to differing expected behaviors based on the differing cultural values. The true stupidity is that Wade interprets the time-orientation of Western culture, especially American culture, the exact opposite of what it actually is.

        1. Even in a present-oriented culture, the past and future are not “meaningless” by any stretch of the imagination. The guy is just an idiot.

          1. Again, what do we mean by “meaningless”? Looking at a cyclical time culture from the point of view of a linear time culture, one might describe the cyclical time culture as viewing distinctions between past, present, and future as meaningless.

  46. Electric, hybrid and other eco-friendly cars fill the air with as many toxins as dirty diesels say scientists
    Eco-friendly electric and hybrid cars fill air with as many toxins as diesels
    That was finding of a study looking at particles from tyre and brake wear
    Greener alternative produces more tiny particles because they are heavier
    Made heavier by batteries and parts meaning tyres and brakes wear faster

    1. Can’t a lot of that extra weight be offset by using harder compound tires and ceramic brakes?

      The big problem with hybrids and EVs, from an environmental standpoint, are the impact on the earth extracting the materials,for,the batteries and the batteries themselves.

      1. Sloopy is right about the batteries. Remember that proposed Nuclear waste storage facility in Nevada? It’s being used to store hybrid batteries because they could contaminate the environment that much.

        1. Mining and processing rare earth metals for making electric motors is pretty nasty environmentally too.

      2. Yeah, battery powered cars are not the answer. For those and many other reasons, keeping an old car going is probably the best thing in terms of environmental impact.

    2. That’s pretty much bullshit. I drive a hybrid for errands and the brake pads are apparently never going to wear out because of all the engine braking done to charge to battery.

  47. New York cops act like … everybody expects New York cops to act.

    Thank God they got that union contract to make sure these fine officers keep their jobs. Especially the guy with multiple lawsuits filed against him.

  48. “Do Democrats want Hillary Clinton to pick Elizabeth Warren as her running mate?

    Do they want to see me puke for four years straight?

    Lieawatha would be a bad running mate for Hillary for a couple of reasons. For one, she’s associated with lying in the minds of swing voters–just like Hillary–and for another, she’s a white woman–just like Hillary.

    No matter how many times Warren dances around a fire and does her war whoop, she’s a white woman, and that doesn’t scream diversity on the ticket. She needs somebody black or Latino or some kind of Asian.

    1. Do they want to see me puke for four years straight?

      Silver linings, Ken, silver linings.

    2. Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!

    3. I agree. Maxine Waters for Veep!

  49. Parents’ smartphones harming children’s ability to hold conversation, say teachers

    Almost a third of children starting school are not ready for the classroom, with many lacking social skills, having speech problems or not toilet trained

    But there are apps for those things.

    1. So we go out to dinner last night and a couple of tables over is about a four-year old boy. With headphones on and plugged in to a phone. Talking in the super-loud voice people tend to use when the volume on their headphones is too high. What could possibly go wrong with any of that?

    2. Then maybe they should start school later, when they are ready.

      1. My great neice, via marriage, was 1.5 lbs at birth. She started kindergarten at age 7 because her kidneys were slow developing and she had to be potty trained to start.

        Not a bid deal.

  50. Man yelling “Allahu Akbar” stabs people in German train station killing one.


    1. “German man attacks passengers”

      1. Like I said, it was just a coincidence.

        And for all we know, the passengers weren’t German.

        Maybe a German man saw some super smug cheese monkeys, and he just couldn’t take it anymore.

        I yell Allah Akbar every time the waitress brings me another drink.

        1. I yell Allah Akbar every time the waitress brings me another drink.

          I hadn’t before, but I sure as hell am going to start.

    2. While German man is on trial for saying mean things about Muslims.


      1. As part of sentencing, he will be forced to write “Islam is a religion of peace” 10,000 times.

        1. He gazed down at the enormous list. Forty years it had taken him to learn what kind of compassion was hidden beneath the senseless brutality. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast of Allah! Two cumin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Islam.

    3. That’s just a coincidence.

      I’m gonna yell Allah Akbar every time the Caps score a goal tonight.

      1. That would be awesome! You’ll be at the game, right? RIGHT?!

      2. Why would you want to sit silently the whole game?

    4. Look Drake, sometimes things like this happen. We will never know what motivated this or why it happened.

      1. I know, I know. The important thing is to not imagine it is part of a pattern or can be blamed on a particular religious or cultural group.

        1. It is part of a pattern and has a lot to do with culture and religion. It can’t (or shouldn’t) be blamed on a group because groups are collections of free individuals.

          1. So if I tell you I am a Marxist but don’t support the actions of Mao and Stalin and Pol Pot, does that mean you can’t judge me for being a Marxist? I mean I don’t support all the killing.

            At some point Zeb shouldn’t you judge people by their associations? And doesn’t the extreme actions of your fellow travelers affect how people judge your associations?

            1. As I’ve pointed out many times, most Muslim immigrants had no choice about what their religion is. So I don’t think the comparison of being a Muslim in general to political ideologies is very apt. Comparing certain subgroups to those political groups is more valid.
              Obviously an attack like that is motivated by religion. Islam is a particularly bad religion when it comes to justifying violence. And it is idiotic that people shy away from saying the obvious when an obviously religiously motivated attack happens. I’m still not going to assign collective blame to Muslims as a group. Sorry.

              1. If they didn’t before, they do now. And even if you say they don’t, doesn’t the fact that people born into the religion feel they have no choice but to remain for fear of death make such a religion incompatible with a free society?

                Your defense of Islam seems to be that its so oppressive that you can’t hold the people who belong to it responsible for their association.

                1. I’m not defending Islam. Islam sucks. Nor do I defend Europe’s current policies on migrants/refugees. They’ve really fucked themselves. I’m defending individuals who don’t commit or support violent acts.

                  Islam isn’t going to go away. So the best thing is to encourage those who want the religion to be less violent and oppressive. Religions can and do change. And that’s the only way the problems between Islam and the rest of the world are going to get better is if Islam moderates itself in some way. I don’t know how that’s going to happen. Or if it can happen without a lot more bloodshed. But I don’t think assigning collective blame is going to help.

              2. As I’ve pointed out many times, most Muslim immigrants had no choice about what their religion is.

                Either they have individual agency and therefore do have a choice or their relgion is so overbearingly evil and oppressive that it’s members somehow don’t have agency and you can’t admit any of them as migrants to your own society in good faith owing to their immutably barbaric programming.

                1. People are often attached to their religions that they grew up with. It’s not peculiar to Islam. As a person who rejected the religion I was raised in, I don’t really get it. But it does seem to be a thing that happens. For non-converts, religion is also often more of a cultural/familial thing than a well considered belief system. In my ideal world, people would be completely rational in how they determine their religion, but that’s just not how people are, Muslim or otherwise.

                  I have no idea what the right answer is. But I’m not going in for collective guilt.

                  1. Then avoid the field of statistics and draw no conclusions from them ever, under any circumstances. Because apparently trends and bell curves are meaningless since the implications they spell out are not universally absolute.

                    It’s one thing to convict someone of a crime because someone else in their cultural group actually did commit it, it’s another to infer likelihoods and trends among groups. One is irrational scapegoating, the other is a rational survival strategy that you ignore at your own peril. If you were a Jew in 1941, would you be spending your vacation rubbing elbows with the civilian population of Germany because the existence of Oscar Schindler proves that not all Nazis are Jew haters?

                    Acknowledging Islam and it’s adherents for what it generally is not collective guilt, it’s the only reasonable way to examine collective phenomenon like ideologies in the first place.

  51. Professor Mike Adams of UNC-Wilmington has a modest proposal:

    “I am deeply ashamed of the faculty at the University of North Carolina ? Wilmington. For years, we have been demanding separate restrooms, which specifically exclude university students. For example, the door on the faculty men’s room in my building has a discriminatory sign reading “Faculty and Staff Only.” In fact, a note below the sign even goes so far as to provide directions to the “appropriate” restroom for students. I find this to be discriminatory, non-inclusive, and ultimately injurious to our diversity mission.

    “Anyone who has ever taught in higher education knows that some students perceive themselves to be on the same level as faculty members. In fact, many of them had the whole world figured out as teenagers ? and they did it even before they finished going through puberty! So why should we impose our own definitions of who is and who is not a member of the learned elite upon those who wish to use the faculty restrooms?”

    1. As long as the students identify as faculty, what’s the problem?

      1. I identify as the God-Emperor of mankind – why aren’t people waging holy war in m name against heretics and xenos?

        1. *loads M-4*

          Where you want me to start, boss?

        2. Well SOME of us are!

        3. They waiting for you to turn into a sandworm?

          1. Burn, Heretic.

            That… thing was no God-Emperor.

            Hold on, I have to go bury a C’Tan on Mars.

  52. If you want to read about an execution, you don’t need to pick up a newspaper from some tinpot republic or Islamist shithole. Just click on a website from Arizona.

    This one is a tough read. You’ve been warned.

    1. Damn. Even with the pee stains, I bet that dude’s version is more accurate than the cops.

      1. And the chief showing up on scene…
        Refusing to take witness statements…
        Not releasing the bodycam tape…

        This stinks to high heaven. Like, this is Eric Garner or Kelley Thomas-level bullshit. And all its in is the local paper.

    2. DPS detectives reached out to the family again Thursday, requesting an interview with Camron. The teen is nervous and reluctant to talk about the events, Canuho said.

      No doubt. I’d be worried, too.

  53. Let’s go Caps!
    -masochistic fan

    1. I read Fleury may get the call? That’s some balls coming off an injury and with Murray playing well. This can work in the Caps favor. Fleury can either be very good or very bad.

      1. I still think it goes 7, If only for the Caps to disappoint at home again.

  54. So the story is about a cop being arrested for child porn. Yet the photos are of the other two people that were previously arrested in the case where the cop tried to help them evade arrest.

    Have the media gotten so bad about the double standard that they can’t even post the pic of a cop accused of child porn? Really?

    1. Are there state laws there that forbid the depiction or identification of LEOs?

      1. “Are there state laws there that forbid the depiction or identification of LEOs?”

        It seems to me that this would be hugely unconstitutional, so I don’t know how those laws could be enforceable.

        1. You make it a privacy violation to release personal information, including photos, under the union contract unless approved by the officer. That way they can get their photos out when they do something good but can keep them hidden when they do something like get involved in child porn.

        2. I agree with you that such laws are wrong and dangerous, but they exist (or have been discussed, can’t remember) in some places. But as we all know there is no prohibition against legislators pandering by passing stupid, unconstitutional laws. They would be enforeceable from the time they are passed until the time that a court overturned them which is often a long time.

          1. The beauty of a retarded law like that (actually the opposite of beauty) is that nobody really ever has standing to challenge it. The cops aren’t obligated to provide a photo to the press and they’re not prohibiting the press from taking their own. They just stonewall information that they’re not obligated to release if their policy says they have discretion.

            It’s the kind of sleaziness that gets you a serious campaign contribution from the PBA. Which is more important than transparency.

      2. Maybe not laws, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the union contract doesn’t have some verbiage in it that prevents photos of bad cops being released under the guise of some bullshit “privacy rights for employment matters”.

        1. ^This, too.

        2. Both officers were wearing body cameras, Benally said.

          Well, so much for buying in to that theory that body cameras prevent violence….

          I suppose they’ll hold those back from FOI requests. Maybe the cameras don’t even exist. We’ll see, I suppose.

  55. Tales from the Derp

    DLI is a joint service base and all personnel are expected to show military courtesy to other branches. Saluting officers is usually easy- just look for shiny stuff. This is not foolproof however as some Navy enlisted wear shiny stuff on their dress uniforms. Each branch also has different rules for how to address NCOs. Marines use the full title whereas the Army refers to E5 to E7 as sgt before switching to 1st sgt and sgt major while the Navy calls NCOs petty officers but some of them are called chiefs. The Air Force is the least complicated of the bunch- all NCOs and officers are addressed as sir or ma’am.

    Each branch also displays the rank in a different place- Army on the chest, Navy and Marines on the collar, and Air Force on the sleeve.

    So basically, a lot of the time I feel like this.

    I said “good morning, sgt” to a Master Chief the other day. I got confused and just went to my default. The eagle on his collar threw for a minute and I thought he was a captain, which the Army calls a colonel.

    Just the same, it is kind of neat to see a few Green Berets walking about. I saw a SEAL at the clinic a while back. At least I’m pretty sure he was based on the big gold trident badge he had.

    1. Shouldn’t there be some… uniformity to uniforms within the same nation’s services?

    2. I hate the Navy blues. You tell me how you tell the rank. They don’t have any conventional rank insignia. You can tell an officer but I have no idea how to tell if the guy is a Ensign or CNO.

      1. Count the stripes or chevrons on their arm patches. Or look at the hat. Enlisted men wear Dixie cups or clit slits*. Officers have a billed cap.

        *No longer recall whether this hat has an actual name other than the slang term.

        1. I can tell the officers. And if I think about it I can tell the officer rank, but if you are in the navy or around them much, it is a pain.

          1. The first time around I must’ve missed the “you can tell an officer”. I was wondering why on earth you hadn’t noticed the hats yet. Coffee.

        2. I believe the “clit slit” is properly termed a garrison cap, a kind of modified glengarry. The garrison cap is (was) also worn by boyscouts and was available in disposable paper models for kitchen workers.

          1. When I joined the Army it was called a “cunt cap”.

    3. C’mon Derpy, the AF refers to everybody as ‘Dude’.

  56. The Washington Post’s headline writer’s strike again: Why the Ben Rhodes profile in the New York Times Magazine is just gross

    So the piece, posted Thursday and titled “The Aspiring Novelist Who Became Obama’s Foreign-Policy Guru,” is, in straightforward terms, a real talker, a success. Even if it is, as a piece of nonfiction writing, kind of gross.

    The grossness emerges on several levels and on multiple occasions.

    So, like, it is totally gross and stuff. So, like, it’s the worst. So, like, take my criticism seriously, ’cause this was gross.

    1. Totally can’t even

    2. Thank you for confirming that everything Rhoades thinks about the Washington media is true. I can’t help but respect the guy a little. He absolutely understands these clowns and knows how to manipulate them.

      1. It’s true about more than just the media.

        I remember the dawning horror that accompanied listening to my CO chat with a delegation of congressional staffers that rode on the carrier for a few days.

        I wanted to punch the guy who asked how our “core ejection system” worked. Now, being older and wiser, I know that I missed a golden opportunity to give him my condolences on his being a virgin and tell him where in Coronado he could find what I would represent as a good, inexpensive whore-house that could fix his problem but which would be in fact direct him to the Kentucky Fried Taco Hut a half mile off the base.

        1. the guy who asked how our “core ejection system” worked

          You should have told him that it requires one to sacrifice for the many and showed him the door to the containment room.

          1. One of the great stories in the surface nuclear navy involved a dependents cruise on I think the Nimitz.

            A dependents cruise is just that, you get to bring family as guests for a trip eg from Victoria, British Columbia to Everett or Pearl Harbor to San Fransisco.

            On one of these trips, the lower level watch in the Reactor Room (a machinery space that surounds the verboten to enter while operating reactor compartment) is doing his rounds, and he finds a kid standing at a bank of valves. “What the hell are you doing here?!?” he shouts at the kid. The kid snarls back “My dad runs this ship!”.

            Panic ensues; The CO’s kid has been in a radiation area without dosimetry! The CO is called. He says “I didn’t bring my boy aboard”. Eventually a senior chief petty officer was located who was the guy who runs the ship. The command master chief was *not* amused (since he’s the one who runs the damned ship!)

            From that day forward, whenever dependents are on board, bored trainees sitting in folding chairs guard the accesses to the main machinery spaces and the reactor rooms.

        2. Staffers are morons. I had a friend who nailed it. You know who works on Congressional staffs? Idiot sons and daughters of big donors. If you are some big donor, you don’t have the time to go and work on the Hill. You have your own life and your millions to count. Your kids, however, do not have that. So that is who gets these jobs. The entire Hill is filled with people whose rich parents sent them off to Washington to keep them from fucking up the family business.

          1. Jonah Ryan on Veep.

            1. Supercalifragilisticexpialidickcheese?

        3. I have had many interactions with the press, both professionally and in my private life. I always keep a list of their stupidest questions and every time they write an article I drop a nice comment about how the reporter doesn’t know jack; how it’s not just this one reporter in this one incident…

    3. What is this?

      1. Don’t ask. Just walk the fuck away.

      2. What is this?

        An am link! What are you? Huh? What are you?

  57. Where #NeverTrump Went Wrong in the Nomination Fight

    A big issue, according to Jon Lerner, a top consultant for the Club, is that while most Republicans believed Trump had a ceiling in the primary, he also had a floor. “At the root of it, what went wrong is that Trump had a lot of support, and Trump’s support was very solid,” says Lerner, who also worked on the main super PAC supporting Marco Rubio. Lerner points to the period ? in December, January, and February ? when, he says, he was seeing numbers that showed that Trump had a group of solid supporters who “were not going to move off him, and so . . . at least in my view there was no real prospect of hitting Trump with negative ads and moving a lot of his voters away from him.”

    “But there was, I think, real reason to be hopeful that when the field narrowed, those kinds of attacks against Trump would succeed in preventing other voters from joining with Trump,” Lerner says.

    1. So the guy is saying they lost because Trump had a lot of loyal supporters. Just how much does Lerner get paid for providing such genius insights?

      1. “So the guy is saying they lost because Trump had a lot of loyal supporters”

        In this case, ‘cult of personality’ might be a better description.

        1. A cult of cynicism maybe. But I honestly do no see how you can say its a cult of personality. I don’t know a single Trump supporter who thinks he is going to solve all of America’s problems. Has support for him become a way to social signal in some cases? Sure. But so is support for nearly every political cause in this country these days, including objecting to Trump.

          1. I don’t know a single Trump supporter who thinks he is going to solve all of America’s problems.

            Is that necessary for it to be a cult of personality? I thought it means more that the personality of the popular figure is the reason for his popularity rather than any particular ideology or political orientation. Which seems fairly accurate when it comes to Trump.

        2. In this case, ‘cult of personality’ might be a better description

          Nah, a lot of his strongest supporters hate him.

    2. #NeverTrump wasn’t about dissuading Trump voters but dissuading party elites from falling in behind Trump.

  58. Happy Birthday, Fred Astaire

    1. Supermodel Linda Evangelista turned 51 today.

  59. Hunt for vandals accused of killing one of the rarest fish on earth during drunken rampage in Death Valley National Park

    Three men left a trail of destruction when they went on a drunken binge in a national park leaving behind beer cans, shotgun shells, vomit, underwear – and possibly killing one of the rarest fish on earth.

    The men climbed a fence guarding Devils Hole in Death Valley National Park, southwestern Nevada and fired at least 10 rounds from a shotgun around 7.30pm on April 30.

    They shot the locks off of two gates, hit a motion sensor and several signs. Beer cans and vomit were left and one man waded into an ancient, water-filled cavern leaving his boxer shorts.

    These California commenter meet-ups are out of control.

    1. Don’t worry, they will be caught, just look for a Youtube video which starts “Hey, hold my beer and watch this”

  60. Woman, 26, is charged with molesting a female passenger after ‘touching her breasts and genitals’ during Alaska Airlines flight from Las Vegas to Portland

    Police said Heidi McKinney, 26, touched the woman’s breasts and genitals without consent during flight 621 on Alaska Airlines on Sunday

    This is why I do not want to share a bathroom with women.

    1. Why can’t I get sat next to her. Sure honey, I will just be asleep against the window. I am a sound sleeper so don’t mind me.

      She is a cutie.

      1. And if you want any popcorn, feel free to get some from this bucket in my lap, Heidi.

      2. Would.

    2. Needz better TSA agents. Imagine if she had box cutters.

      1. I have a feeling she is just a TSA agent that was on vacation.

        1. So more of a Pavlovian response?

      2. No need to bring female fgenital mutilation into the story, straffinrun. Jeez!

        1. I guess my “box cutter” joke was too lobrow for even this room.

    3. A “no complaint” disposition was filed Monday afternoon and McKinney was released after local prosecutors decided not to pursue charges. The case has been referred to federal officials to review.


      1. It’s the Airplane Clause of the Constitution, you ninny. Sheesh.

        1. She was disrupting interstate commerce, or something.

        2. It just seems odd that the charges seem to’ve been dropped.

  61. Swing state poll from Quinnipiac:

    Florida: Clinton at 43 percent, with 42 percent for Trump and Sanders at 44 percent to Trump’s 42 percent;

    Ohio: Trump edges Clinton 43 ? 39 percent, while Sanders gets 43 percent to Trump’s 41 percent;

    Pennsylvania: Clinton at 43 percent to Trump’s 42 percent, while Sanders leads Trump 47 ? 41 percent.


    1. But I have been assured that Trump could never win any state Romney did.not.

    2. The Quninnipiac guy was just on Smerconish and refused to answer if he will include Gary johnson in future polls, then just refused to talk at all when pressed. It was very awkward and hilarious at the same time.

      1. They need to include Johnson, assuming he is the LP nominee. But I really wonder if Johnson won’t draw from both parties. I don’t think he will only take Republican votes. When the Libertarian did so well in the governor’s race in Virginia a couple of years ago, it turned out that he took more Democratic votes than Republican ones. I don’t think it is impossible that Johnson either takes equally from each party or not enough more from Trump for it to make much difference.

        1. From past races, it will be, at most, 3:2 from R vs D. And probably about equal. And mostly from people who wouldnt vote at all otherwise.

          1. A lot of Democrats hate Hillary just as much as a lot of Republicans hate Trump. Johnson will get some of those Democrats. I don’t see Johnson getting many of the Bernie supporters however.

            1. Some of his support comes from the social liberal left, even as a majority seems to be from the 99 percenter left.

      2. then just refused to talk at all when pressed

        That’s where you cut their mic, and tell them to GTFO.

        1. Yeah, that’s what he did although politely. After a few seconds of dead air, Smerconish just ended the interview with a quick ‘thanks,bye now.’

  62. Saw this in the wonderful short story “The Liberation of Earth” and was reminded of DLI:

    And yet all this time, the human inside the artificially darkened space-ships (the Troxxt, having no eyes, not only had little use for light, but the more sedentary among them actually found such radiation disagreeable to their sensitive, unpigmented skins) were not being tortured for information- nor vivisected in the earnest quest for knowledge on a slightly higher level-but educated.

    Educated in the Troxxtian language that is

    True it was that a large number found themselves utterly inadequate for the task for which the Troxx had set them, and temporarily became servants to the more successful students. And another albeit smaller group developed various forms of frustration hysteria- ranging from mild hysteria to complete catatonic depression- over the difficulties presented by a language whose every verb was irregular, and whose myriads of prepositions were formed by noun-adjective combinations derived from the subject of the previous sentence. But eventually, eleven humans were released, to blink madly in the sunlight as certified interpreters of Troxxt,

    whole thing here

  63. Do Democrats want Hillary Clinton to pick Elizabeth Warren as her running mate?

    The shrieking will be 2X – or XX if you want it to represent it chromosomally.

  64. Was this posted yet? Guy who maintained the Clinton server never emailed her.

    The one email sent by Pagliano that surfaced among Clinton’s 30,000 emails was sent to Clinton was a November 2012 birthday greeting. He wished her “Happy Birthday Madam Secretary. To many more!”

    Pagliano’s email address was censored, unlike numerous official State Department addresses that are listed in Clinton’s emails ? suggesting he may have sent the message from a private address.

    Clinton did not reply directly to Pagliano. Instead, she sent a copy of an email to an aide with the instruction “Pls respond.”

    This is the most damning part. What a biatch.

    1. “Pls respond” means tell that uppity little fucker to stop emailing me like he belongs to the club.

      1. You know that’s her exact line of thinking when it would take less time to hit reply and say thanks.

      2. ^This. You little people get a nice card and pass it around then give it to my assistants assistant who will tell us about it.

  65. Do Democrats want Hillary Clinton to pick Elizabeth Warren as her running mate?

    I fucking hope she does. Because I’d love to see the writers here make a libertarian case for her then. Especially since it’s all but a foregone conclusion that Hillary Clinton won’t even finish her first term in office before being thrown in jail or having (another, final) stroke.

    If you dumbasses would rather have Lizzie Warren in office than Donald Trump, then you’re retarded as fuck.

    1. You didn’t post that.

      1. Oh yes I did. Trump would have an adversarial relationship with every legislative faction and the media wouldn’t allow him a bully pulpit. On the other hand, they’d suck Warren’s balls dry every chance they got and she’d have strong support from around half of the legislators. Plus shed put people on the SC that will effectively gut gun rights, equal protection rights and private property rights. And her class warfare is a shitload more dangerous than Trump’s trade war nonsense.

        Warren would be 10x worse than Trump in almost every metric I can think of. He’s an imbecile. She’s a craven class-warrior.

        1. It’s not a matter of whether, it’s a matter of Trump having his teeth kicked in by Hillary.

          1. If he’s effectively tied with her before he even starts to take his gloves off in Ohio, Florida and Penna, why would you think he’d have his teeth kicked in by her? The media has been against him from jump street and he keeps moving up. Now that he can focus on her, I expect that trend to continue.

            1. He’ll find the media much less obliging now that he’s nominated, and I even if Republican voters hold their nose for him, he’s still deep in the hole with women, blacks, and Latinos.

              1. Less obliging? Less obliging than the perpetual slamming of him that’s been going on at every single network, website and print outlet since he got on the scene?

                I’m sorry, but there are a lot of smart people on here that are completely wrong about what is happening and what will happen with this election. Trump will destroy Hillary personally and point out her terrible flip-flops and ever shifting bullshit positions to buy votes. Not to mention he will grill the shit out of her on her pay-for-play scams at State, her ineptitude with Syria and Libya and her (still unpopular in swing states) stand on illegal immigrants.

                1. Part of Trump’s cache is how much the media love-hates him. He enjoys an immense amount of “earned” media coverage, helping spread his (albeit scatterbrained) message while also signaling just how much the establishment despises him.

                  Going forward, I very much doubt he’ll receive anywhere near as much free publicity. The lefty media helped get him nominated, they’ll not help him get elected.

                  1. Yes, now that he’s pretty much guaranteed the nomination of one of the two major political parties, the media will give him less coverage (read: free publicity) in an election year.


    2. Hillary is trying to make nice with the Bernie supporters. She is almost certainly going to pick someone Warren level bad or worse as her VP. And if the law doesn’t get her, her healthy likely will. I give her at best a 50 50 chance of making it four years as President. So, yeah, it is not about Hillary v Trump it is also about Trump v whatever nutcase she chooses as her VP to placate the moonbat left.

  66. Someone left bananas on a sign regarding black people at Clemson in what was supposedly racist hate speech. Clemson knows who did it, but won’t respond to FOIA requests asking for the identity of the perpetrator.

    “””There have been allegations on campus that the student who placed the bananas on the banner in the first place was African American,” the editorial continued. “The implication is that the student intended for the incident to incite a campus protest. If this is not the case, why has the administration not released any information about the race or motives of the student who placed the bananas?”””

    1. Yes, but maybe the perpetrator was identifying as a white when the hate crime happened?

    2. *Chucks potato at Irish.

    3. There is no evidence on who drew the poop swastika at Melissa’s Click university either. My money is on false-flag incitement.

      I hope the cops saved some poop in case a DNA hit happens in the future.

      1. Given the ratio of hoax to hate in the last decade, I’m convinced of a false flag operation as well.

        It’s to the point where my default assumption is ‘hoax’ until proven otherwise.

      2. What a shitty case to work on.

      3. All of these incidents are fakes. Meanwhile, anti-Semitic incidents are well documented and are happening more frequently. This is what fascism looks like.

        1. Shut up, Jew-lover!

          -UCLA student council

  67. Photographers cover German gun owners

    The scale of gun ownership took photographers Miguel Hahn and Jan-Christophe Hartung by surprise. They learned that Germany — a bastion of pacifism following the second World War — has, per capita, the fourth-highest gun ownership of any nation. And so they set about documenting it, the results of which can be found in their eclectic photo series “Firearms and soap bubbles.”

    The collection seeks to draw comparisons to the much larger and culturally documented American gun culture, they said. On one hand, Germany’s strict gun laws keep firearms largely out of the public eye — and consciousness. But on the other, there are those who seek to replicate the United States’ far more libertarian approach to gun control.


    There are those grateful for the strictures placed on gun ownership, and there are those fighting for their right to expand their presence in the country — to the point of setting up the German Rifle Association, largely based on the National Rifle Association in the United States.

    “They kind of envy America,” Hahn said. “Some of them would like to have a similar situation (regarding gun laws) as the U.S., but others don’t. One of the goals of the GRA is that you can use guns for self-defense, which I think will never happen.”

    1. “In their eyes, the media is always unjust with them: They always portray these crazy people who go around shooting,” Hahn said. “They were very skeptical from the beginning. We contacted one guy from the German Rifle Association and then we started to get contacts and ask around, but we encountered a lot of resistance at the beginning.”
      The photographers, who are based in Berlin and Madrid, say that one inescapable consequence of an interest in firearms was a comparison to Germany’s violent, extremist past.
      “The people we met, I don’t know a lot about their political slants but I don’t think they were Nazis,” Hahn said. “In Germany, there’s always something there, if you deal with weapons or anything that could be categorized as right wing, it’s always something that you have to deal with.”
      Hartung agrees. “One guy built a tank by himself,” he recalled. “It’s a British tank, not a German tank — he told us he built a British tank because he didn’t want to be categorized as a Nazi.”

    2. there are those who seek to replicate the United States’ far more libertarian approach to gun control.

      Author misspelled “Constitutional.”

    3. “The scale of gun ownership took photographers Miguel Hahn and Jan-Christophe Hartung by surprise. They learned that Germany — a bastion of pacifism following the second World War — has, per capita, the fourth-highest gun ownership of any nation”

      And one of the lowest homicide rates

  68. “”The State Department has lost all archived copies of the emails sent to and from the man believed to have set up and maintained Hillary Clinton’s private email server during the four years she served as secretary,”

    Then they are either incompetent or criminal. Not ten minutes ago did I need to find dimensions of some work I had done at some point in the unknown past. Within two minutes looking through my old emails (on the main company server), I had found what I needed. And we do NOT have the resources of the State Department.

    1. And we do NOT have the resources of the State Department.

      Of course you don’t, if you did those pups would be long gone and you’d be in the clear! oh wait…

  69. Statist bootlicker writes an op ed bemoaning the fact that Minnesoda hasn’t licked the fed boot that is Real ID. Fear mongering ensues because we are allegedly an “insubordinate” state.

    Comments are great (if you are into BDSM)

    Republican obstruction is alive and well, first the bonding bill and now Real ID. Since they could not manage to shut down the government again this session, they have to make a grand effort at the finish, and those are whoppers.

    @bicyclist But the real question is why were the Democrats against it when Bush first came up with it. Both sides are obstructionist when it suits them. Neither party has your best interests in mind. They only seek to serve themselves and their power hungry cronies.

    @Schmenge @bicyclist
    That’s nonsense. The reason the dems opposed the Bush proposal is lost to me now, but what they opposed likely looked little like what we have here: the policy has been thoroughly vetted and accepted for some time now, there can no longer be excuses for delay. “power hungry cronies”? Gibberish.

    I love the I forget why we obstructed, but I’m sure it was good. You fukkers are obstructing just because. Extra points for not even realizing that he is arguing with someone who doesn’t appear to be affiliated with either the GOP or the Dems.

    1. NH is caving. A bill passed the legislature allowing folks the option of picking a Real ID compliant driver’s license.

      1. The option will soon turn into a mandate.

        1. Oh yes. “Live Free or Die” is a joke.

      2. We are doing our best to cave. What I don’t get is why people think that the Feds can really stop travel because of this.

        Just stand pat and exemption after exemption will go by.

        Shit, I’m even for the reverse blackmail. “We aren’t going to remit those gas taxes back to you. We’ll just keep them ourselves because we are pretty sure you will try to withhold them from us to get us to comply with something stupid.”

        1. It’s sad.

          I have a vague memory that in the late 90s some western states considered the reverse blackmail route. I don’t remember over what, but it fizzled out once the Feds poured money into the west.

    2. “”power hungry cronies”? Gibberish.”

      I don’t understand words, therefore they don’t mean things

  70. Assange finally gets some pussy.

    1. KITTY!!!!!!!

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