Brickbats

Brickbat: Parlez-vous Francais?

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French
Credit: Todor Ostojic | Dreamstime.com

Albert Moyer had one year of French in high school, so how is he teaching French in Texas at Houston Independent School District's Energy Institute High School? Well, according to a local TV station, Jean Cius, a 25-year French teacher, got into a dispute with the principal and was sent to another school where he is now a hall monitor. And Moyer got called to teach his classes for the rest of the school year.

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  1. So, when are the parents of the kids in that school having their torchlight parade? I’ll kick in a hundred bucks for tar and feathers.

    -jcr

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    1. So your sister is Caitllyn Jenner?

  3. Without government, who would pretend to educate the nation’s children?

    -jcr

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  5. Good. French is no longer a relevant language. Give them each a white flag and send them over to Spanish class.

  6. I could teach it. “Here’s your textbook, class.”
    /Hands out copies of Charlie Hebdo.

    1. This week’s homework topic will be ‘Emmanuelle’.

  7. Look, he has a teaching degree – that’s a *degree in teaching*! What else is important? He’s teaching, right? So he must be qualified because he has a degree in teaching.

  8. Look, it’s not as if these kids were actually learning anything anyway.

    1. True,it’s just French,After you learn the wines and cheeses and what foods to order your pretty much set.

      1. You’re,fixed it.

  9. I had a Spanish teacher who was Japanese

    1. peruvian japanese, american japanese or japanese japanese?

      Also, did they know the language well enough to do the job?

  10. This all sounds pretty familiar. My high school chemistry teacher got pressed into duty. Nice lady. Had never had chemistry. So she just taught the book as best she could. (not well)

    To fill time she had us map out the orbitals for every element. All of them – not just the outer shell. That’s when I checked out completely.

    The experience set me back years.

    So I feel for these kids. Instead of being challenged and learning about a subject they enjoy, they’re learning to hate it. Going from a native speaker of the language to someone who doesn’t know anything has to be extremely frustrating.

    And you kinda have to feel for the poor guy they made teach the class. You can just imagine how that conversation went down:

    Teacher: But I don’t speak French. I just had a year in high school. I barely remember anything.

    Principle: You’re a teacher aren’t you? Well then, teach!

    1. And that year in high school was probably taught by someone just as incompetent as he.

      1. “Listen, we’re going over frog-talk. I can’t stand the sound of it, but I was assigned here.”

  11. Why is French even being taught?

    1. Not everybody wants to take Spanish.

    2. Because the curriculum standards require X classes of foreign language instruction. There is no requirement of proficiency. I still can’t understand Spanish despite all the years of it I took.

      1. I took years and years of German, became fluent, able to write letters, read books and carry on conversations.

        Haven’t used it in a couple of decades except to translate Rammstein lyrics.

        I can understand wanting “properly educated” to include languages as some sort of bane against provincialism, and to achieve greater understanding of linguistics. It would help if we taught languages people are likely to use in America, though.

        1. you are now qualified to invade france! as if you’d want to

        2. The important distinction is you probably had some interest in actually learning the language. No one in any of my spanish classes cared. They were there because they were required to be there.

  12. For their cultural lesson, they ought to have the German class invade the French class and take the female students as well as all the classroom art back with them. And they should leave a few kids behind to make sure the French students don’t revolt.

    1. Wouldn’t they then also have to continue to throw wadded up paper at the English classes until some eastern european students kicked the tar out of them?

      1. Maybe the English Lit class. But we teach American English in our schools and those classes are already perpetually under attack by the ESL students for resources. So they are being portrayed accurately.

    2. Please, it’s 2016. The French class should go on strike and the German class needs to fill out their homework in triplicate. The French teacher needs to ensure that the students don’t spend more than 35 hours per week at school and doing doing homework. Both need to have two holidays per month.

      1. The German class also needs to provide all of the classroom materials for the Greek class and even do half of their work while getting none of the credit.

        And they need to let the Arabic kids come in and rape a whole classroom of girls without saying a word.

        1. A couple more sloopy, and you’ve done the Friday Funnies for the rest of the year.

          1. Wait, you trust Bok or Payne to draw those?!?!

            1. I guess I was thinking it’d go to a text format, providing our own mental imagery.

  13. “Just pronounce up to and including the first vowel, and ignore the rest of the word.”

  14. There are only a few weeks left in the school year. This is probably the least bad option the principal had, considering that we don’t know why the original teacher was transferred. Although it seems like in Houston they could find a qualified substitute teacher to finish out the year.

    1. There aren’t many qualified teachers around here. They’re desperate for teachers right now. All of the school districts.

      1. even the “qualified” ones aren’t qualified…

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  16. I once applied to work at a Montessori school & was invited to sit in on a class. The teacher was teaching preschoolers French, & pronounced “les yeaux” as “lay see-ay”. I immediately corrected her, “Ceux ne sont pas des yeilles, ceux sont des yeux!”, but she had no idea what I was saying.

    1. I meant she mispronounced “yeux”. She was pointing to her eyes, anyway.

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