Verizon Workers Strike, Donald Trump Whines, John Kasich Mansplains: P.M. Links

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  40,000 Verizon workers went on strike today over concerns like "corporate greed" and being asked to move to different states as Verizon's customer needs change. Bernie Sanders joined a rally of striking workers in Brooklyn, claiming Verizon was trying to "destroy the lives of working Americans" it employs in well-paying union jobs, while Hillary Clinton demanded Verizon return to the negotiating table.

• Donald Trump complains the the political system is "stacked" against him.
• The Southern Poverty Law Center claims the Donald Trump campaign has contributed to an "alarming level of fear and anxiety" among children of color and emboldened bullies.
• John Kasich met with Talmudic students at a Jewish bookstore in New York City and explained the Bible to them.
• The revisionism over the 1994 crime bill continues: apparently members of the Congressional Black Caucus who voted for the measure did so out of concern that a future bill might be even worse.
• Salmon caught in the waters near Seattle have some of the highest levels of cocaine and antidepressants found in American fish.

Comments

[BiMonSciFiCon]

John Kasich met with Talmudic students at a Jewish bookstore in New York City and explained the Bible to them.

Reminds me of when Bart and Lisa tried to get Rabbi Krustovski to embrace Krusty. Except with more clowns.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Hello.

"...Donald Trump campaign has contributed to an "alarming level of fear and anxiety" among children of color and emboldened bullies."

Yeah, I'm gonna have to go ahead ask how children (are they orphans with no parents?) are being affected by one jerk off. Personally, Sanders is faarrrr more frightening. Dude is, like, crazy commie.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Maybe their parents should have more involvement in their television-watching habits. I don't see how this is anyone else's problem

[Tonio]

Melissa Harris-Perry begs to differ.

[HeteroPatriarch]

It takes a village.

[JWatts]

"Maybe their parents should have more involvement in their television-watching habits."

Actually, if there is a problem, it's more likely to be because of the parents television-watching habits.

[NotAnotherSkippy]

How can grandpa stalin ever be scarey?

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

/places flashlight under chin. Makes creepy face.

"Hello children....IT'S GRANDPA GULAG!..."

/screaming children scatter.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

As an emboldened bully, I to am experiencing an "alarming level of fear and anxiety" over The Donald.

[Mr Drew]

"are being affected by one jerk off"

Rufus, I'm pretty sure the State frowns on you giving the kids even one.

[Anomalous]

The headline says "John Kasich Mansplains" but that's wrong. It should be "Goysplains."

[Swiss Servator]

*applause*

[TheZeitgeist]

You know who else liked to Goysplain all the time?

[Heedless]

Phillip Roth?

[Cdr Lytton]

The Soviets, every five years?

[Alan Vanneman]

Shouldn't that be "Christiansplained"? And I believe that at least Orthodox Jews are rather in to that "mansplaining" thing themselves.

[Shirley Knott]

So that's why Pacific Northwest Salmon is so popular.

[BigT]

Pac salmon - the Party! fish!!

[Juvenile Bluster]

House democrats don't seem to like the new overtime rules that are coming, will of course fail to note that it might have the same effect on the private sector.

[Scalro Humillimus]

Did Congress forget to exempt themselves from employment laws?

[Crusty Juggler]

ED IS BACK ON TOP.

Ew.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

But what hath he done to Fist?

[Crusty Juggler]

Fist is yesterday's news.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Fist had to make his way through a Major League Baseball game and a Trump-rally-slash-Trump-protest to get to a playoff hockey game. And, yes, that technically happened yesterday.

[Doctor Whom]

When you cast a vote that you later regret, the excuse is always that you wanted to prevent a worse alternative.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

See also, DOMA

[Juvenile Bluster]

My father/mother/brother, all of whom voted for Hillary in the primaries and plan to vote for her in the general election, have already been setting up that excuse.

[Glide]

My Rubio-supporting parents intimated their logic was the same for Trump.

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

"You're damn right I am never wrong."

[The Last American Hero]

No, sometimes the excuse is that you didn't implement the policy hard enough. Read your Krugabe.

[JWatts]

Krugman: "

My advice is you need to do twice as much. But you didn't take it so:

You failed, but my policy would have succeeded.

You struggled through, but my policy would have been successful.

You were successful, but my policy would have been wildly successful."

It's nice to be able to ignore the costs in a cost-benefit analysis.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

Salmon caught in the waters near Seattle have some of the highest levels of cocaine and antidepressants found in American fish.

That's why wild-caught tastes so much better.

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

"Meth lab to table."

[Tonio]

[golf clap]

[Swiss Servator]

*joins*

[Crusty Juggler]

Nice.

[This Machine]

Oh, very clever, sir. Frightfully so.

*joins in polite applause*

[jarflax]

"highest levels". This fish has 1 part per trillion of cocaine, that fish has .1 part per trillion. We must institute a new front in the WoD!

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

How many salmon do I have to eat before I can tolerate going to a dance club?

[PBR Streetgang]

All of them.

[JWatts]

Jabba the Hutt concurs.

[Jerryskids]

I'm just wondering how long they've been drug-testing fish and how extensive the program is and how goddamn much of my money have they been spending doing this sort of shit. I suppose I could break into my neighbor's house and find a nickel under his couch cushion and honestly claim this is the most money I've ever found while robbing a house in the United States, but the claim that this is some of the highest levels of drugs ever found in American fish sure suggests to me that this ain't the first fish they've had peeing in a cup.

[Hamster of Doom]

The Southern Poverty Law Center claims the Donald Trump campaign has contributed to an "alarming level of fear and anxiety" among children of color and emboldened bullies.

They recognize expertise in their own field when they see it.

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

Hatewatch!

Stephen Piggott

"Influenced by the racist right, and willing to parrot the rhetoric, Donald Trump is helping drive mainstream interest to racist memes."

RACIST ME-MEs.

[Eternal Blue Sky]

So...

Trump says something outrageous.

Hatewatch sees a corresponding spike on Google searches for the outrageous thing he said.

It's almost like people are Googling to find the outrageous Trump quote.

[Tonio]

Derpbook ultraderp from earlier this week: "Trump's fascist promises of a government-free..."

[Mad Scientist]

That's some impressive derp.

[Tonio]

I know, right?

[Swiss Servator]

"My God, he is an anarcho-fascist!"

*head explodes*

[Eternal Blue Sky]

Well, if Anarcho-Communists and Anarcho-Monarchists can claim to be real ideologies... why can't there be an Anarcho-Fascism??

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

Don't you know the Fascist laissez-faire saying "All within the state, nothing outside the state, nothing against the state."?

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

Don't you know the Fascist laissez-faire saying "All within the state, nothing outside the state, nothing against the state."?

[True Scottsman]

The seen hand is no longer a euphemism.

[Citizen X]

Salmon caught in the waters near Seattle have some of the highest levels of cocaine and antidepressants found in American fish.

Why do i suddenly hear the opening riff from "Smells Like Teen Spirit"?

[Crusty Juggler]

Sugar addiction like drug abuse, study reveals

Science!

[Slammer]

Salmon caught in the waters near Seattle have some of the highest levels of cocaine and antidepressants found in American fish.

The salmon run is serious shit, man.

[Tonio]

So we have twitchy, happy salmon?

[Doctor Whom]

+1 R.E.M. song

[GILMORE?]

Salmon caught in the waters near Seattle have some of the highest levels of cocaine

god, those smugglers are ingenious

[Tonio]

The Southern Poverty Law Center claims the Donald Trump campaign has contributed to an "alarming level of fear and anxiety" among children of color and emboldened bullies.

So the emboldened bullies have alarming levels of fear and anxiety? Order of modifiers is a bitch, Ed. That would read better as: "has emboldened bullies contributed to an "alarming level of fear and anxiety" among children of color."

[Ken Shultz]

"The Southern Poverty Law Center claims the Donald Trump campaign has contributed to an "alarming level of fear and anxiety" among children of color and emboldened bullies."

I pretty much despise Donald Trump, but fuck the SPLC for this, specifically.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Fuck SPLC in general, actually. I despise them and their propaganda about as much as I despise Trump.

[waffles]

More. The SPLC is a no-shit hate group and has incited more violence than Trump's campaign has or will.

[Ken Shultz]

When we vote, we should consider the impact it has on the safe space for children of color and the victims of bullies?

America needs bullies now more than ever.

[waffles]

America needs bullies now more than ever.

A slogan for Trump if there ever was one.

[GILMORE?]

Donald Trump complains the the political system is "stacked"

You know what else is "stacked"?

[Juvenile Bluster]

Would not. Not even with Warty's "dick".

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

JB, there's crazy and then there is your statement.

[Swiss Servator]

Seconded.

[jarflax]

Plenty of issues with Trump, but his womenfolk are all woulds.

[Crusty Juggler]

Tiffany Trump? Yeah. Go you...

[jarflax]

You thanked my for the Feinstein Monster the other day, but you wouldn't?

[Crusty Juggler]

You do you, Jar.

[waffles]

She has this little green man alien look nailed down.

[HeteroPatriarch]

WTF? She looks like she's wearing one of those plastic face shields that NBA players with broken eye sockets use.

[bacon-magic]

*rips JB's man card
"You don't need this anymore, go to the safe space closest to your residence(mom's basement)"/red blooded cis hetero shitlord male

[This Machine]

No, no, you don't rip it up, you cut a corner off with your pocketknife. Three corners and he's outta here.

[Jerry on the rocks]

A bit top heavy?

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

"Guaranteed flotation even in tumultuous seas."

[Anomalous]

Would.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Would. Passionately.

Hate is a passion, right?

[HeteroPatriarch]

Would however she liked it. I don't care how abhorrent her husband (dad?) is, she's gorgeous even with the cartoon tits.

[buybuydandavis]

I'd take her over Chelsea as our next dynastic ruler.

In the place of a Dark Lord you would have a Queen! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the Morn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love me and despair!

[Crusty Juggler]

How a Clinton insider used his ties to build a consulting giant

Government employees are typically restricted in their ability to receive outside income. But Hillary Clinton's State Department expanded the use of "special government employees," a relatively rare status originally created for scientists and others with unusual technical expertise that cannot be provided in-house. This allowed certain workers chosen by her or her staff, including Kelly, to receive money from private firms, including those who might potentially have business before the federal government.

It is all legal, so no worries.

[John]

I read an article I forget where about Dennis Hassert. It wasn't about his allegedly sodomy. It was about the fact that he was a high school wrestling coach yet somehow ended up a multi millionaire. His side job as a legislator had a little something to do with it. Basically, he made his money in real estate speculation. His scheme was pretty clever. It consisted of having insider knowledge of what areas were about to be bought out via ED and then buying property there and reselling it to the government at a huge profit.

All of these assholes in both parties get rich. Paul Ryan is a millionaire despite never holding a real job. Cruz is a millionaire, despite being a government lawyer and elected official his entire life. Cruz's wife is near the top of some wall street firm. But I am sure her husband's political connections had nothing to do with her rise.

These people get rich doing things that if you or I did would land us a visit from the SEC and thereafter a stay in prison.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Anyone who thinks government officials don't get greased in land deals is a rube.

[Clich? Bandit]

Ted Stevens made an entire state out of it.

[jarflax]

Anyone who thinks government officials don't get greased in land deals is a rube.

These sodomy euphemisms are getting very obscure.

[Swiss Servator]

In Illinois all of them are in it. When the built I-88, a really ethical and ambitious Federal DA could have rung up the Top. Men. of both TEAMS, by the dozen.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Each time we -or people we know - look into some land there's always a road block. Then, suddenly and magically some guy knows someone in the government and all obstacles are lifted. At the right price.

Strange how that works.

Parafuckingsites.

[Lord at War]

Arkansas Gov wives make 6 figures in cattle futures... And "land deals" where every one involved gets jail time but them,,,

[dan'o en barrel]

Sounds like the reason DIA (Denver intl) was built 10 miles off the highway.

[Mr Drew]

Dude, the Cincinnati International Airport was built in Kentucky!
-drops mic

[HeteroPatriarch]

Why is that? I'm willing to believe all kinds of shit, but as far as I know, they wanted to expand Stapleton, but that would've crossed county lines and Adams County didn't want it. I don't know why Kansas was choice 2, but I haven't heard of a specific pol getting rich off it.

[Mad Scientist]

DIA is only in Denver county because they annexed that part of Adams county, along with the highway that leads in. A map of the county now looks like a gerrymandered voting district.

[HeteroPatriarch]

Yeah, but so what? Land out there was cheap, it only took a couple of decades and a few billion extra dollars to get the train they promised, and as far as I know they didn't overpay a politician's family member for the land. I'm actually relatively ok with it.

[Cdr Lytton]

Now if they could only get E470 tolls out in a reasonable time period.

[DenverJ]

I'm ok with it, too. I'm not ok with the demon horse

[Jerryskids]

These people get to be these people by doing things you or I would go to jail for. As somebody pointed out, a corrupt system is going to find corrupt leaders - you think a bunch of crooks are going to elect an honest man to be their leader? They didn't elect Hastert despite the fact that he was a crook, they elected Hastert specifically because they knew he was a crook and therefore one of their own. There was no chance he was going to be ratting them out when everybody knew his sins.

[buybuydandavis]

Rules apply to the peasants, not their rulers.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

So I guess Verizon has 40,000 job-openings now, or are companies not allowed to fire employees for refusing to work?

Serious question. I know nothing about labor law.

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

Verizon said it had trained thousands of non-union employees over the past year to ensure no disruption in services.

And you know what they found out? They had 30,000 unnecessary positions.

[Jerryskids]

AT&T meanwhile is smacking their heads - all these years they've been training their employees specifically to ensure disruptions in service. (I'm assuming at any rate - I find it hard to believe that AT&T's service can be this shitty without an awful lot of smart folks working their asses off to make damn sure the service is this shitty. I'm convinced that if AT&T had no training for any of their employees whatsoever their service would have to markedly improve.)

[Ted S.]

My understanding is that the old contract expires some months back.

[some guy]

Depends on the state laws and the labor contracts signed with the unions. It's really a mixed bag.

[Mad Scientist]

I want all those Verizon employees to get a raise, and I also want to know why the hell my Verizon phone bill is so high!

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

There oughta be a law, damn it!

[HeteroPatriarch]

4G service is a human right!

[DenverJ]

4G? Thpp. The cool kids are using LTE

[GILMORE?]

First Bruce Springsteen, then Bryan Adams... Now = Ringo Starr

Soon it will be like you can't even get VH1 below the mason-dixon line

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

Please, God, make it so.

[Lee G]

The loss is unimaginable.

[Winston]

Apparently Bryan Adams played in Egypt...

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Oh, artists picking and choosing where they apply their activism. Here's my surprise look.

[Karinka]

Want to meet a girl? Welcome to http://goo.gl/mxiosK
the Best adult Dating site!

[Cytotoxic]

Storj is a decentralized file sharing system and they have just released a beta on an invitation-only basis.

http://www.newsbtc.com/2016/04.....goes-live/

[Suthenboy]

"Salmon caught in the waters near Seattle have some of the highest levels of cocaine and antidepressants found in American fish."

Who'da thunkit?

[Cytotoxic]

Would smoking that salmon/eating it make me happy?

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Snort the roe.

[Clich? Bandit]

Forget that. That market is going to skyrocket. I ain't shorting roe, hell Beluga is almost extinct.

...

ohh.

[Enough About Palin]

Snort the roe.

Fine album title.

[Jerryskids]

Does it feature a greased naked woman on all fours, with a dog collar around her neck and a leash, and a man's arm extended out up to here holding the leash, and pushing a black fish in her face to sniff it? I would think people would find that offensive.

[Tonio]

Mmmmm...smoked salmon.

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

If you are smoking, Hickory or Cherry wood.

[GILMORE?]

Douchebag Gets Light Sentence

[Crusty Juggler]

That is crazy light!

[GILMORE?]

I don't know if you're being sarcastic or not, but it actually does seem a little lenient given that the guy fled and tried to hide in mexico. I don't know much about criminal law but thought stuff like that triggered "maximums"

[Crusty Juggler]

No. He killed people, was given an extremely generous sentence, and then ran away and still only received two years? That is insane.

[Crusty Juggler]

I know someone who received a longer sentence after killing a person while driving drunk, and he did not abscond while on probation.

[John]

Cases where drunk drivers kill people almost always result in years in prison and sometimes life. A two year sentence for killing four people is totally out of the norm.

[GILMORE?]

Is the fact he was a juvenile when it was committed put him in a different category?

[John]

Yes. I didn't realize he was 16 at the time of the accident. Then yeah, 2 years is not that unusual. I still hope he gets shanked.

[Crusty Juggler]

Two years after he tried to run away, though? That is still light.

[Enough About Palin]

16-year-old black kid in my neighborhood killing 4 people would result in the kid being certified as an adult and getting one hell of a long sentence.

[Eternal Blue Sky]

He got 10 years probation for the murder.

The two years is for fleeing probation to Mexico.

[Eternal Blue Sky]

Oh, and for breaking his probation by drinking alcohol.

[HeteroPatriarch]

He got probation for killing 4 people? And he fled to Mexico to avoid probation? Does this moron have someone reminding him to breathe?

[Heedless]

His mother went with him to Mexico. I think there might be a grain of truth to the lawyer's "blame it on the parents" defense.

[John]

he killed four people outside of Fort Worth with his pickup truck while driving drunk in 2013.

There are people serving life in prison for things like that. And he gets two years? I hope someone shanks his sorry ass.

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

What is he, a tranny or something?

[Tonio]

WTF?

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

It Pays to be able to Pay

[Hamster of Doom]

Six months for every person he killed, wow.

"You are not getting out of jail today," Salvant told Couch...

You tell that bad boy who's boss around these parts!

[DOOMco]

Verizon should charge more. A lot more. Maybe we'd learn?

[HeteroPatriarch]

Who here is saying they should pay more?

[DOOMco]

No one.

[Cytotoxic]

It looks like Brazil might really impeach Roussef.

http://www.wsj.com/articles/su.....1460577962

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

Barcelona play like douches and finally the result reflects that. Muhahahahahaha!

[Ted S.]

I'm looking forward to the draw on Friday.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

Agreed. I'm sure UEFA are praying for a Real-Munich final though.

[Cytotoxic]

Iranian special forces are suffering heavy casualties in Syria.

http://www.jpost.com/Middle-Ea.....ria-451090

[John]

And we should intervene and end the Syrian civil war why?

[Suthenboy]

So, no downside for us. Good.

[GILMORE?]

Tartar Sauce Production Expected to Grind to Halt

[Tonio]

Is tartar sauce really named after the Tatar people/region?

[Slammer]

No, Tatar Tots are named after the Tatars

[Tonio]

*&^%$#@!

[Swiss Servator]

*narrows gaze*

[jarflax]

I don't think so. I think it's named for Bitartrate of Potash, also known as cream of tartar

[Tonio]

Thanks, Jar-Jar.

[GILMORE?]

The name derives from the French sauce tartare, named after the Tatars (Ancient spelling in French of the ethnic group: Tartare) from the Eurasian Steppe, who once occupied Ukraine and parts of Russia.[5] In fact, the Tatars have nothing directly to do with either the sauce or steak tartare (raw beef steaks often served with components of the sauce). "Tartar" was the Persian name for the Mongols of Genghis Khan, whom Europeans of their time viewed as uncivilized, particularly for their practice of eating meat raw. In French cuisine, the phrase ? la tartare thus became used to refer to a "variety of highly seasoned dishes" and forms of undercooked meat, so the sauce may have received its name for the pungency of its original version.[6] Especially in the Haute cuisine era, dish names were frequently selected from contemporary, fashionable, public issues to gain attention.[citation needed]

[GILMORE?]

I think the point there is that it is roughly akin to the "Chinese Fire Drill" or "French Toast"... - having little/no real connection other than, "Someone just called it that at some point"

[jarflax]

I live I learn

[BigT]

"Especially in the Haute cuisine era, dish names were frequently selected from contemporary, fashionable, public issues to gain attention."

Hence:

Immigration tacos
Inequality stew
Socialism sauce
Rape steak
Civil forfeiture chicken

and

Abortion pizza

[Slammer]

Sanders omelets

[John]

You would think the Russians of all people would know better than the fuck with the Golden Hoard.

[Eternal Blue Sky]

Welp, guess it's time to sack Muscovy again.

[__Warren__]

Worked out for Bilbo and the dwarfs.

[Mickey Rat]

You should know not duck with a Horde's hoard.

[Notorious UGCC]

How about "persons of lawlessness" instead?

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

"Aliens are from other planets," Democratic State Rep. Steve Lebsock, the bill's sponsor said, according to the Denver Post. "We should not be referring to human beings as aliens."

Professor Hawking would disagree, Steve Lebsock. Wonder how they are going to protect the property rights of restraint on alienation. Restraint on immigration? SHIT.

[jarflax]

Can we change the term State Rep to Junior League Dumbfuck?

[Tonio]

I thought Junior League was women-only, Jar-Jar.

[jarflax]

The senior league is the US House of Reps.

[DenverJ]

Jesus Twerking Christ, that man is a moron. You'd think somebody would've explained the definition of the word to him the first time he said that to somebody. His entire social and professional circle must be as stupid as he is.

[Hamster of Doom]

Not that, everyone would want to be called that.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

There are some real gems in there:

"Aliens are from other planets," Democratic State Rep. Steve Lebsock, the bill's sponsor said, according to the Denver Post. "We should not be referring to human beings as aliens."

[Suthenboy]

Anyone care to guess how long before the proggies have turned Colorado into California and has a net loss in population? 20 years? 30?

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

Depends on Welfare and runaway budgets.

[HeteroPatriarch]

Nah. CO has the rednecks and real Westerners to balance out the proggies. Those are the ones who got pot legalized, most of the proggies didn't think there was enough regulation built into the system.

[GILMORE?]

Ghost Rider Requests Flyby; Pattern Full

[Mr Drew]

So Putin gets to count coup on a destroyer, awesome.

[HeteroPatriarch]

He gets no such thing. They would have to touch it to count coup.

[Mr Drew]

I'm gonna go ahead and say that in the world of fighter jets, within 30 feet counts.

[DenverJ]

Within 30 feet is suicidal. And damn near an act of war. Of course, our commander in chief is a pussy. Reagan would've boycotted red jelly beans.

[AlmightyJB]

You know they were drunk

[DenverJ]

Every Russian male is drunk, all day, every day. Ukrainian males as well, only more so.

[Hyperbolical]

Reminds me of the Cold War. While on a carrier in the Arabian Sea they would call an unofficial all-hands-on-deck to give a collective finger to the Russian Bears that flew over. It's all part of the game.

[Notorious UGCC]

Is atheism a religion?

[Suthenboy]

No.

[Drake]

No but I believe climatism and socialism / statism are cults.

[Tonio]

Of course not. But it is a belief system about things religious and enjoys the same 1A protections which the religious get.

[HeteroPatriarch]

Depends on the atheist.

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

^^^ this

[DenverJ]

Most atheists are religious about it. I'm agnostic. (looks smug)9

[DenverJ]

Freaking html is hard

[buybuydandavis]

Max Stirner

The fear of God in the proper sense was shaken long ago, and a more or less conscious "atheism,"
externally recognizable by a wide-spread "unchurchliness," has involuntarily become the mode. But
what was taken from God has been superadded to Man, and the power of humanity grew greater in
just the degree that of piety lost weight: "Man" is the God of today, and fear of Man has taken the
place of the old fear of God.
But, because Man represents only another Supreme Being, nothing in fact has taken place but a
metamorphosis in the Supreme Being, and the fear of Man is merely an altered form of the fear of
God.
Our atheists are pious people.

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

Trolling atheists.

[ant1sthenes]

No, but lots of "atheists" still engage in a lot of the behaviors that get people down on religion.

Atheists who come to atheism by way of popularity-seeking rather than skepticism are particularly vulnerable, since they'll lack resistance to whatever cult or ideology that comes along to fill the void that religious traditions do for other people, and which has not had the sharp edges worn down by the ages. And since they tend to assume the source of the problems with theistic faiths was the God, and not the people or their zeal (which... doesn't make a lot of sense, since they're atheists, but nevermind that), they're incapable of seeing that they're no different from the people they hate.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

John Kasich met with Talmudic students at a Jewish bookstore in New York City and explained the Bible to them.

Krayewski, do we need to mansplain what "mansplain" means? It doesn't seem like you're getting it

[John]

I believe the proper term here is "Goyimsplain"

[Anomalous]

Sheggitzsplain works too.

[Greg Loves His Woodchipper]

"Shiksplain" is so perfect that it sounds like it's probably already being used all over Long Island.

[Notorious UGCC]

Who's John Kasich? Is he some kind of politician?

[Notorious UGCC]

/sarc

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

Tolerable, like a prostate exam from Ruth Bader Ginsberg

[Crusty Juggler]

God No, America Does Not Need Mobile Nuclear Missile Launchers

I found the basis for my next Lt. Crust Jugglehammer novel.

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

We'll just conscript SpaceX to carry our payloads into Low Earth Obit. Mess with America now, North Korea! We'll glass your ass!

[HeteroPatriarch]

Can't we get Blue Origin to do it, so it doesn't blow up halfway up and then ask for a tax credit?

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

I heard that series gets confusing since every book is titled "Would."

[Crusty Juggler]

The good Lt. does spend a fair amount of time romancing women.

[GILMORE?]

"Would Rides Again"
"To Would or Would Not"
"A Midsummer Night's Would"
"The Would Also Rises"
"A Fistful of Would"
"The Secret Would"
"Would Alone"
"A Moveable Would"
"The Naked and The Would"

[BigT]

Change those to'wood' and you have some great porn titles

[Swiss Servator]

"The Would Also Rises"

OK, SHUT 'ER DOWN FOR TODAY. THE DAY IS WON.

[Crusty Juggler]

Yeah, I feel like he may be implying that I have an obsession, but that was still pretty good.

[This Machine]

"Would in the Time of Cholera"

[Cdr Lytton]

God No, America Does Not Need Mobile Nuclear Missile Launchers

What's the Davy Crockett? Chopped liver?

[The Late P Brooks]

the Donald Trump campaign has contributed to an "alarming level of fear and anxiety"

Eat some salmon and mellow out.

[Mr Drew]

Completely OT:

I need to buy a new color laserjet for the office that can print photo quality over-sized postcards in quantities of less than 5000 per month.

I'm not printing photos on photo paper, just photos in a glossy heavy-weight paper.

I know there are opinionated tech geeks here. Help a brother out.

[DenverJ]

Canon or Brother.

[Crusty Juggler]

JonBenet Ramsey's REAL murderer is 26-year-old son of a junkyard owner who killed himself after her death claims investigator hired by the child beauty queen's parents

Just as I have been saying for all of these years.

[John]

Isn't it always the creepy son of the family that owns the junk yard?

[BigT]

Boo Radley done it

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

I just watched To Kill A Mockingbird again the other night. Even dismissing the racial angles and the feminist angles, the movie would give most modern people the vapors. Kids running around an entire town with no adult supervision? Guns for 8 year olds? Small game as a staple food? Bartering?

Fuck, it's like libertopia! All it needs is a few more orphans, and it would practically be Somalia!

[gaoxiaen]

No one needs rabies vaccine when Atticus is around.

[DOOMco]

McAfee says he won't endorse Johnson.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

He's just trying to rile up his base

[DOOMco]

I suppose. It is interesting to see some infighting in the lp this cycle.

[GILMORE?]

infighting in the lp

[DOOMco]

Great movie.

[Crusty Juggler]

Secretive all-male Harvard society breaks 225-year silence to argue that the exclusion of female students prevents sexual assault

PORCELLIAN TRADITIONS, ACCORDING TO A 1940 TIME MAGAZINE STORY

'The Pore is most likely to elect the sons and relatives of old Porkies, closely examines each candidate's family tree. But congeniality counts as much as pedigree, and the three to 18 members whom the Pore elects from each class must be jolly good fellows.'

'A Porcellian wears a small gold pig on his watch chain, a long tweed jacket, tight flannel pants and a short haircut, generally contents himself with a gentleman's three Cs and a D in his studies. Most inviolable tradition: Once a Porcellian always a Porcellian.'

'Porkies keep up their Porkie friendships all their lives, go back religiously to the annual Porkie banquet at which new members are initiated. When a Porkie marries, fellow Porkies always gather round him after the ceremony and sing the club song. From the Pore's clubrooms, non-Porcellians are religiously excluded.'

'In the last 20 years only five men have been excepted from this rule: the Prince of Wales, Al Smith, Herbert Hoover, under Secretary of the Treasury Roswell Magill and onetime Budget Director Lew Douglas, who were wined & dined in the club.'

[John]

Look Crusty, its not gay. Its just showing respect to the upper clansmen. You will get your respect some day too. And everyone goes on to have girlfriends and kids and stuff. Okay?

[Pan Zagloba]

showing respect to the upper clansmen

National. Treasure.

[Swiss Servator]

A "Golden Hoard" type treasure

*peers up thread*

[Pan Zagloba]

There's no squint Clint Eastwoody enough for that!

[John]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....r-Fox.html

Megyn Kelly pays her respects to the Donald.

I always thought she was smoking hot but damn she looks a little harsh these days.

[BigT]

Has she gone dyke? Looks the part.

[AlmightyJB]

I would hit that all day

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

Megynocologist. I hate the sometimes vowel.

[buybuydandavis]

Her lingerie shots when younger were incredible.

[The Late P Brooks]

PORCELLIAN

I keep reading that as "Porcelain"

I think the Beta house would have been the "Porcelain Club" at Colorado College when I was there.

[Mitsima]

"There's no way that these 10,000 people ... can make up for 40,000 people who have decades of experience (in highly technical jobs)," CWA representative Bob Master said."

If 40,000 ppl have decades of experience, I think 10,000 will be able to handle the load (esp. if the CWA & IBEW still operate like they did when I worked for the phone company).

[AlmightyJB]

40,000 Verizon LANDLINE union workers went on strike. Yaaaawwwwnnnn said Verizon management.

[HeteroPatriarch]

Verizon has 40,000 landline workers?

[AlmightyJB]

It's FIOS and POTS. Wireless is not union.

[Rhywun]

Wireless is not union.

That tells you everything you need to know about the state of telephony today.

[__Warren__]

Their parents should have tried harder to keep them off the pole.

[AlmightyJB]

Daddy issues are a bitch

[Michael]

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm convinced - this climate change thing is out of control. Before you know it, Earth will start spinning the other way!

http://www.chicagotribune.com/.....story.html

[Michael]

I should note that the front page click bait for this story reads "Greenland's ice sheet is melting so fast it's throwing off the Earth's rotation".

[__Warren__]

The worst part of this is once the sheet is gone that's going to release a hoard of Yetis.

[HeteroPatriarch]

Yeah, but on the plus side, the Yetis will quickly die from heat stroke. Then, hey, Yeti Hide coats! Downside, nowhere cold enough to wear them.

[JoWaDat889]

I say FIRE em all! Every one of them, let them find new jobs.

http://www.Web-Privacy.tk

[Jerryskids]

A federal appellate court questioned Tuesday whether the structure of the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau (CFPB) violates the constitutional separation of powers.

WDATPDIM? But, yeah, it's pretty bad.

[Hyperion]

Ah, I see where everyone is. Finally an article with Trump in it.

[BigT]

Why was this not featured?

"The House Judiciary Committee unanimously passed (28-0) the Email Privacy Act, which eliminates a loophole allowing authorities to get some electronic records without a warrant. The bill, sponsored by Rep. Kevin Yoder (R-Kan.), has more than 300 sponsors and is expected to sail through the full chamber.

The Email Privacy Act requires law-enforcement agencies to get a warrant in order to demand that tech companies turn over online communication records, such as emails, instant messages, and private social-media messages. It amends the Electronic Communications Privacy Act (ECPA), which only required a warrant for messages newer than 180 days."

http://www.dailydot.com/politi.....e-passage/

[buybuydandavis]

My guess is that it also places an obligation on the tech companies to preserve messages, outsourcing the collection and storage of data to the tech companies.

[BigT]

Ohio tops list of states with transparency of spending. This is due to my neighbor, Josh Mandel, Treasurer of Ohio. CA is last.

"This seventh annual evaluation of state transparency websites finds that states continue to make progress toward comprehensive, one-stop, one-click transparency and accountability for state government spending. In 2015, several states launched new and improved websites to better open the books on public spending, or have adopted new practices to further expand citizens' access to critical spending information. Several states, however, continue to lag behind. (See Figure ES-1 and Table ES-1.)"

http://uspirgedfund.org/report.....money-2016

[BigT]

OK, time for a nut punch.

"Dozens of killings by police in the US are being ruled justified without the public being notified, according to a Guardian study that sheds new light on the lack of official transparency surrounding the use of lethal force by law enforcement officers.

Officers involved in one in every six deaths recorded during the first quarter of 2015 have a year later been cleared of wrongdoing and returned to work despite no announcements being made by authorities or local media reports appearing."

http://www.theguardian.com/us-.....rs-cleared

[Rhywun]

The UK is delivering the nut punches that the American press couldn't be bothered with.

[buybuydandavis]

Salmon caught in the waters near Seattle have some of the highest levels of cocaine and antidepressants found in American fish.

Didn't they test for THC? We're #1! We're legal bro! Woohoo! Even our fish can get more stoned than you can! Suck it, slave staters!

[buybuydandavis]

Salmon caught in the waters near Seattle have some of the highest levels of cocaine and antidepressants found in American fish.

Didn't they test for THC? We're #1! We're legal bro! Woohoo! Even our fish can get more stoned than you can! Suck it, slave staters!

[DenverJ]

I've been using edibles, the gummy bear kind, as bait. The bass and bluegill love them. The trout prefer hash oil, but that's hard to keep on the hook.

[Notorious UGCC]

...because it keeps spontaneously being made into brownies?

[gah87]

I'm buying more Seattle salmon!

[Trigger Warning]

I think you meant to say "John Kasich tardsplained the Bible to some nice people who showed an unfathomable amount of patience for a boor such as him." Right?

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[Shirley Knott]

True enough.
But it's going to resonate with a whole lot of people who are (rightly) convinced that the political process is stacked against them. Non-members of the political class; people who don't worry about their sex life because they get f****d by the government every day.

[NotAnotherSkippy]

But his delegates can beat up Cruz's delegates.

[lap83]

Hipster fish

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Important question -- Which American Fish has the highest concentrations of THC or psilocyben? Or Oxycontin?

[John]

Or more importantly, when can we start that illegal chocolate trafficking operation. Cash strictly cash.

[The Last American Hero]

We don't, since those doing the arresting are, themselves, fatties.

[Doctor Whom]

Our sugar-sniffing dog detected traces of sugar in your BMW, and we know what that means.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Oh, that's coming. Believe you me. Including a mandatory minimum vegetable purchase, imprisoning climate change skeptic, and of course, arresting fatties - for their own good. And the children.

[Juvenile Bluster]

With dildoes?

[Tonio]

The political process is stacked against the grassroots. Remember what they did to Rand Paul? That's come back to bite the elites in the butt. Good.

[steve walsh]

It's a sham of a process and anyone that thought it was somehow democratic simply wasn't paying attention, aka: ignorant of the facts. Truth is though that the Democrats' process is even more of a sham with all those "Super Delegates".

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Not in Texas

[jarflax]

mandatory minimum vegetable purchase

How much for BIden? Maybe I can get my quota in advance

[A Cynic's Guide to Zen]

I can't wait! But until then, I will just read Dolezal's new book. Reverse Oreos; or How I learned to Stop Fighting my Inner Negro

[Clich? Bandit]

bitcoin, get with the times old man.

[Mad Scientist]

The chocolate is cut with sugar before they put it on the street. The more sugar they add, the worse the chocolate is.

[John]

What hooker takes bitcoin? Sorry man, I don't need anymore special equipment on World of Warcraft.

NERD

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

And 18 til I die.

[Clich? Bandit]

hooker coin..by god you may have something there Trebek!

[IndyEleven]

In America: first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the weemon.

[Crusty Juggler]

The paper of record provides photos.

[GILMORE?]

Maverick is all ready to go on alert 5

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

Unfortunate that there isn't also a video of a CWIS turning that thing into dust.

[HeteroPatriarch]

I think you have the wrong Paul.

[TheZeitgeist]

Not stacked anything like Iwanna Ivanka.

[HeteroPatriarch]

In Texas, with silicone back massagers.

[Swiss Servator]

*stands, salutes*

[HeteroPatriarch]

*Golf clap*

**looks at hands**

***whoah, have you ever really looked at your hands?***

[OneOut]

How can Bonito be considered an American fish since they are migratory ocean dwellers.

[Swiss Servator]

+1 Little Friend

[Swiss Servator]

You are the next contestant on ASSET FORFEITURE!

*studio audience applause*

[BigT]

RuPaul?

[Princess Trigger]

John Paul?

[Glide]

Aaron Paul, bitch!

[DenverJ]

Adolf Paul?

[John]

That really was not intentional.

[Swiss Servator]

You think her pimp cares about that?!

My bitch better have my money. through rain, sleet or snow.
My whore better have my money, not half, not some, but all my cash.
'Cause if she don't, I'm gonna put my foot in her ass.

[Swiss Servator]

THAT WAS AFGHANISTAN FIRST!

I was there...and it....

*breaks down crying*

[jarflax]

Trout for lunch?

[Swiss Servator]

Nah, just pop chaff when they fly that close - "a little foil for your intake, Ivan?"

[This Machine]

I think that's why they made the THC comparison. You know, migrants with them marihuanas and such.

[HeteroPatriarch]

They also have the highest buttsex concentration.

[Swiss Servator]

*gulps down entire glass*

[BigT]

John is YogiBerra reincarnate.

[This Machine]

The anal thread is above this one, Switzy.

[HeteroPatriarch]

Do ships generally have chaff launchers?

[gaoxiaen]

When they did that to us, there just happened to be a cloud of assorted hardware being thrown overboard. They weren't so close the second time.

[DenverJ]

"Nothing about whiteness describes who I am."
Face palm

[buybuydandavis]

Democracy theater.

The Ruling Class usually gets to prescreen "acceptable" candidates - much like the Supreme Leader in Iran.

This year, it didn't work so well. Trump and Sanders could both break through. Expect changes to prevent this from ever happening again. The Tax Ranchers mean business.

[buybuydandavis]

Donuts!

[DenverJ]

"Corvus (UK service designation Outfit ULC) is a lightweight, quick reaction system for the self-defence of surface vessels against surface-to-surface and air-to-surface missiles."

[Tom Bombadil]

Paul Mitchell?

[Lord at War]

She grew up on the mean streets of Idaho... totally down w/ the people.