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A Very Trumpish Day, Scalia's Death Leads to SCOTUS Deadlock, Obama Lectures Journalists: P.M. Links

Scott Shackford | 3.29.2016 5:20 PM

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Large image on homepages | Gage Skidmore / photo on flickr
(Gage Skidmore / photo on flickr)
  • Trump
    Credit: Gage Skidmore / photo on flickr

    All sorts of things happened today and then Trump's circus took over when his campaign manager was charged with battery against reporter Michelle Fields. We are blaming that for today's late links, because … well, because.

  • Justice Antonin Scalia's death resulted in a deadlocked Supreme Court vote over whether public employee unions can force people to pay mandatory dues even if they don't want to be in the union. The result is that the previous court ruling holds, and that ruling affirmed the unions' power to force dues.
  • A teen boy who pleaded for an end to violence in Chicago has been shot. He's in critical condition.
  • Families of U.S. military and diplomats in southern Turkey have been ordered to leave the country.
  • President Barack Obama presumed to tell journalists to "dig deeper" for news stories, which is absolutely hilarious for any reporter who has tried to get information from his close-mouthed, antitransparent administration that prosecutes whistleblowers.
  • Google wants to bring landlines back.

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NEXT: U.S. Orders Families of Military Personnel Out of Southern Turkey

Scott Shackford is a policy research editor at Reason Foundation.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    I say we boycott PM Links until they get their ducks in a row. WHO'S WITH ME?

    1. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

      As punishment, H&R should be forced to go a full 4 hours with no Trump links.

      1. JWatts   9 years ago

        "As punishment, H&R should be forced to go a full 4 hours with no Trump links."

        Whoa now, let's get carried away. Maybe we could start smaller. Say 1 hour with no Trump links. Just to see how it goes.

        1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

          So... you're against making them go cold turkey?

          1. OneOut   9 years ago

            I'm with you Hammy, even if no one else gets it.

        2. coloraDOOM   9 years ago

          35 minutes.

          1. PapayaSF   9 years ago

            This is... The Art of the Deal in action!

        3. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

          Given they've already 'updated' the last one so that it is in front of the PMs, they couldn't go 10 minutes.

          They got it bad. Like 'meth/smack/coke speedballs shot up between the toes, cause their veins are collapsed' bad.

    2. Adans smith   9 years ago

      Crispy ducks with some fried rice??

    3. Los Doyers   9 years ago

      Disrupt the peking order!

      1. Trshmnstr, terror of the trash   9 years ago

        Timely links are a basic hunan right!

      2. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

        I call fowl.

        1. Los Doyers   9 years ago

          I'm chicken my comment and see nothing wrong with it.

          1. PapayaSF   9 years ago

            Szech who?

      3. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

        Make them rouen the day!

      4. TheZeitgeist   9 years ago

        Sum ting wong reason noha Trummpf rink.

        1. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

          And.... you took it to level 5.

          1. Trshmnstr, terror of the trash   9 years ago

            I think you mean "reverw 5"

            /taking it to level racist

            1. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

              We were already there. I'm OK with it if you are.

              1. TheZeitgeist   9 years ago

                Most people are OK with it if there is safety word that makes playtime stop.

                1. Trshmnstr, terror of the trash   9 years ago

                  I think the safe word should be lorrelcoastel

                  1. OneOut   9 years ago

                    "lorrelcoastel"

                    of love?

                    SAY WHAT ?

            2. Chipper Morning Wood   9 years ago

              Ed Zachary

    4. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

      Hello.

      It's hard to get into the 'hello' when no one seems to care.

      1. Trigger Hippie   9 years ago

        HELLOOOO! YOU SALTY TART!!!

      2. OneOut   9 years ago

        Hi Rufus.

        Are you feeling a little down ?

        Reason owes it to you to pick you up as you are good for a lot of smiles around here.

        EVERYONE SAY HELLO TO RUFUS !

      3. CE   9 years ago

        I thought we talking about Lionel Ritchie yesterday.

    5. DesigNate   9 years ago

      Now ENB's trump post is time stamped as 5:23.

      What manner of witchcraft is this that the PM links are late and ENB's post gets time warped to be after them?

      1. CE   9 years ago

        Ask FoE. He is the Time Master here.

  2. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    ...which is absolutely hilarious for any reporter who has tried to get information from his close-mouthed, antitransparent administration that prosecutes whistleblowers.

    The president was just trolling them.

    1. JaimeRoberto   9 years ago

      He meant dig deeper into his opponents.

  3. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    A teen boy who pleaded for an end to violence in Chicago has been shot.

    Yeah, best to do that from someplace other than Chicago.

    1. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

      Detroit? Cleveland?

      1. BigT   9 years ago

        "Trotter, now 13, was struck by a stray bullet Friday night while walking home after playing basketball, according to the Chicago Tribune. He was shot in the back, close to his spine, and remains in critical condition. No one else was injured, and there have been no arrests so far."

        In the Cleve, the cops aren't so careless.

        1. Illocust   9 years ago

          Well at least it didn't hit his spine. Assuming they can stabilize him, he should be permanently crippled by the bullet.

      2. You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

        Afghanistan? At least Malala survived.

    2. Catatafish & Woodchips   9 years ago

      Obviously he wasn't paying people not to shoot folks.

    3. Eternal Blue Sky   9 years ago

      Chicago ...

      Back in the day, when the first American members of my Faith wrote our religion's leader, they detailed a plan to build a Temple on the coast of Lake Michigan in Chicago. Our leader wrote back, saying that while the coast of Lake Michigan was a good idea, they should build it outside of Chicago.

      Chicago is just a shitty place to be.

      1. Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!   9 years ago

        I thought the architect went to him to ask about building the Temple.

      2. CE   9 years ago

        Someone should organize the communities there better.

  4. Francisco d'Anconia   9 years ago

    That was just cruel.

    1. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

      It wasted half of Fist's day.

  5. LynchPin1477   9 years ago

    I assume Robby has been fired and Scott scrambled to throw something together at the last minute.

    1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

      DON'T TALK ABOUT LUCY.

      1. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

        *pours a 40 for Lucy and what once was*

        1. CE   9 years ago

          Works every time.

  6. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    Google wants to bring landlines back.

    A couple of the finger holes in your rotary dialer are going to be the o's in Google.

    1. LynchPin1477   9 years ago

      Nah, it'll be like the old timey phones where you pick up and talk directly to the operator. Except the operator will be a Google bot

      1. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

        You can reach me at MIchigan 5211.

        1. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

          What's the Simpsons? Murray Hill? Somebody here will know.

          1. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

            The number I gave was the number Joe Friday would give out in the 50s Dragnet.

            The Simpsons' home number is 555-6832. The number for Moe's Tavern is 555-1239.

            This is what my brain is filled with instead of useful stuff.

            1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

              You go, Sparky Valentine.

            2. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

              They gave out the old numbering in one episode.

            3. Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!   9 years ago

              Which means the Simpsons home number is KLondike 5-6832 and Moe's Tavern would be KLondike 5-1239.

          2. HeteroPatriarch   9 years ago

            Klondike 5 3225.

            1. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

              God Dammit you're right.

              I know there's a Murray Hill too.

              I doubt I'll ever remember it, though. It was 20 years ago, and a lot of beer has passed my lips since then.

              1. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

                I REMEMBER NOW!

                It was in the episode where Homer and Bart go to the Super Bowl and Marge and Lisa are at home. It's Vincent Price's Egg Magic!

                Murray Hill 5-9232.

              2. lafe.long   9 years ago

                I believe I love Lucy used Murray Hill

              3. HeteroPatriarch   9 years ago

                Call Mr. Plow, that's my name, that name again is Mr. Plow!

                1. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

                  No, no. Leave it on!

            2. CE   9 years ago

              Beechwood 4-5789

    2. The Hyperbole   9 years ago

      Rotary dial.

  7. Los Doyers   9 years ago

    Call Scott anything but never call him late for links.

  8. jesse.in.mb   9 years ago

    Soave's sense of time is infectious, I see.

  9. You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

    We're not mad, Scott. We're just disappointed.

    1. coloraDOOM   9 years ago

      Translation: so mad you might be buried under the tree out back by morning

  10. Old Man With Candy   9 years ago

    Links is on CPT today, apparently.

  11. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    We are blaming that for today's late links, because ? well, because.

    TEAM COVERAGE OF THE LATEST DEVELOPMENTS IN A CASE WE CALL ASSAULT AND TRUMPERY.

  12. JW   9 years ago

    We are blaming that for today's late links, because ? well, because.

    How do we know that you already didn't have linx ready at 4:30? What's in your hand?

  13. Grand Moff Serious Man   9 years ago

    Google wants to bring landlines back.

    Read that as landmines and was more intrigued than I am now. Alas.

    1. Enough About Palin   9 years ago

      I did as well, thinking WTF?

      1. TheZeitgeist   9 years ago

        Google Ad Sense purchase-funnel for med/pharma post-detonation would have high conversion.

  14. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

    Let's continue this conversation here.

    1. jesse.in.mb   9 years ago

      Find a pic and I'll provide expert assessment, yo.

      1. Slammer   9 years ago

        There IS a pic of the nurse. Oh...OOOOHHHHH

        1. jesse.in.mb   9 years ago

          I just want to see a dong worth losing one's job over.

          1. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

            And her name is Johnson. HOW IRONIC IS THAT?

            1. Heroic Mulatto   9 years ago

              HOW IRONIC IS THAT?

              0. Aptronyms aren't irony.

              1. Los Doyers   9 years ago

                PWND

                1. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

                  Now that's ironic.

            2. Francisco d'Anconia   9 years ago

              You know who else was named Johnson?

          2. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

            I just want to see a dong worth losing one's job over.

            "It looks like a button on a sweater."

    2. Catatafish & Woodchips   9 years ago

      Continuing with the "would."

    3. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

      If you plan to take a picture of my dong you better have your credit card handy because that's my intellectual property.

      1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

        How intelligent is it? Can it ruin a bell curve?

        1. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

          It curves left.

          1. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

            Curves are for deviants. Mine is arrow straight (when it needs to be).

        2. Trshmnstr, terror of the trash   9 years ago

          Damned abstract masturbation euphemisms

      2. Slammer   9 years ago

        If you take a picture of MY dong you better use the wide angle, not the zoom

        1. Trshmnstr, terror of the trash   9 years ago

          "where is it?"

      3. BigT   9 years ago

        "that's my intellectual property."

        You should think with your big head, not your little head.

    4. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

      Would, but only because she recorded a gastrointestinal blood clot.

    5. Enough About Palin   9 years ago

      Kristen likes Johnny.

  15. cavalier973   9 years ago

    That was very discourteous of Scalia, to let himself get assassinated at a time like this.

    1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

      Is that why links were late?

    2. Meow-shawn!   9 years ago

      If he had laid off the capicola...

  16. Slammer   9 years ago

    Now the Trump thread is back on top!
    Trump broke reason

    1. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

      Indeed he did.

      1. John   9 years ago

        Just wait until he names Sarah Palin as his running mate.

        1. JWatts   9 years ago

          No too obvious. You know who's still alive and would make an excellent running mate for an eccentric billionaire?

          1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

            Launchpad McQuack?

          2. Trshmnstr, terror of the trash   9 years ago

            Adam West?

          3. HeteroPatriarch   9 years ago

            Michael J. Fox pulled it off pretty well on Spin City.

          4. JWatts   9 years ago

            I feel like you guys aren't even trying.

            1. HeteroPatriarch   9 years ago

              Wait...John Edwards?

          5. CE   9 years ago

            Ross Perot?

        2. tarran   9 years ago

          I'm actually hoping for a Trump/Bernie unity ticket.

          I think it would easily beat Hillary and/or Cruz.

          And it would be entertaining because of reasons.

          1. CE   9 years ago

            And would be a good insurance policy for Trump.

        3. cavalier973   9 years ago

          SarahPAC is soliciting funds by saying that we need to elect more people like...Ted Cruz.

          1. John   9 years ago

            Didn't she endorse Trump?

            1. cavalier973   9 years ago

              Yes.

  17. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

    I already have a google land line. For free.

  18. Raven Nation   9 years ago

    Damn, I posted this over on the Trump link instead of here....

    The AAUP explains the Friedrichs decision:

    Today the Supreme Court rejected attempts by anti-union forces to render agency fee unconstitutional in the public sector in the case Friedrichs v. California Teachers Association. The Court upheld an appellate court decision that found agency fee constitutional, stating in full, "The judgment is affirmed by an equally divided Court." Thus, the law remains as it has for over forty years. This is good news for AAUP unions and for our brothers and sisters throughout working America.

    However, the attacks on agency fee and collective bargaining are far from over. Efforts to eliminate agency fee and otherwise weaken unions are multiplying at the state level and more challenges may be heard by the Supreme Court.

    1. Trshmnstr, terror of the trash   9 years ago

      Fuck this not fully staffed court.

    2. BigT   9 years ago

      Strong-armed to join the union to have the job and forced to pay dues if you don't join.

      First Amendment disagrees.

  19. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

    Question: Is receiving this in a work email:

    🙂

    a violation of the NAP?

    I say yes.

    1. LynchPin1477   9 years ago

      It's definitely a microagression, and probably sexual harassment.

      1. TheZeitgeist   9 years ago

        Mark it classified and send over naked http to mail.com; preferably to physical computer at your physical address. All legit then.

    2. jesse.in.mb   9 years ago

      Had it been a winky face 😉 it would've been sexual harassment, as everyone knows the winky face is a very concise way of inviting someone to participate in sexual intercourse.
      ...
      😉

      1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

        8====)------( ;P

        1. greasonable   9 years ago

          Thank you for providing a far less concise way as contrast..

    3. You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

      😛

      1. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

        That too. MJ wants to lick my balls.

    4. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

      🙂

      It was that. That is even worse.

      1. Trshmnstr, terror of the trash   9 years ago

        The nose makes it 10x worse

        1. HeteroPatriarch   9 years ago

          That's not a nose.

        2. HeteroPatriarch   9 years ago

          That's not a nose.

          1. Trshmnstr, terror of the trash   9 years ago

            Damn masturbation euphemisms

      2. coloraDOOM   9 years ago

        OH GOD. NOT 🙂

    5. Adans smith   9 years ago

      Crusty,you are a violation of NAP,please stay that way.

    6. BigT   9 years ago

      8======O

  20. Pat (PM)   9 years ago

    Patty Duke, Oscar-winning American actress, dies at 69

    US actress Patty Duke, who won an Oscar for playing Helen Keller in The Miracle Worker in 1963, has died aged 69.

    As well as a best supporting Oscar, Duke won an Emmy in 1980 for playing Helen Keller's teacher in a TV movie.

    Duke also starred in The Patty Duke Show in the 1960s in which she took the roles of "identical" teenage cousins.

    She was the mother of actor Sean Astin, who played the hobbit Sam in the Lord of the Rings trilogy of films.

    Her representative, Mitchell Stubbs, said in a statement that she had died early on Tuesday of sepsis from a ruptured intestine.

    1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

      Ted S. hardest hit.

    2. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

      It's not fair that she won an award. When I play Hellen Keller, people find it highly offensive.

      1. Adans smith   9 years ago

        +1 Timmy!

      2. Trshmnstr, terror of the trash   9 years ago

        I don't think she was as much of a drooler as you portray her.

        1. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

          It's an interactive show. I warn the audience first so they don't get mad when I start humping things.

      3. cavalier973   9 years ago

        Hellen Keller jokes are never not funny!

        ;-9

        1. Francisco d'Anconia   9 years ago

          How did Helen Keller burn her face?

          Answering the iron.

          1. Francisco d'Anconia   9 years ago

            Dead baby and Christa McAuliffe jokes next.

            1. Old Man With Candy   9 years ago

              If Helen Keller is walking in the forest and falls, does she make a sound?

              How did Helen Keller learn to masturbate?
              Reading her own lips.

              How did her brother prank her?
              Left the plunger in the toilet.

              How did her family punish her?
              Rearranged the furniture.

      4. Slammer   9 years ago

        Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car?
        Because she was a woman.

    3. jesse.in.mb   9 years ago

      Her representative, Mitchell Stubbs, said in a statement that she had died early on Tuesday of sepsis from a ruptured intestine.

      Oh shit, that's an awful way to go.

      1. jesse.in.mb   9 years ago

        Oh shit

        I'd like to apologize to the Duke family for that accidental but very poorly phrased interjection.

        1. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

          Liar. You're not sorry.

        2. Adans smith   9 years ago

          Swiss will be around to gaze later

        3. Grand Moff Serious Man   9 years ago

          I'm colon you out for that one Jesse.

          1. Trshmnstr, terror of the trash   9 years ago

            Leave Jesse alone, the slip-up has already rectum enough.

            1. Grand Moff Serious Man   9 years ago

              A shameful appendix to an otherwise upstanding life.

              1. db   9 years ago

                You duodenum an apology for that.

      2. BigT   9 years ago

        Paging Swiss.

    4. LynchPin1477   9 years ago

      Timothy Burch is the definitive Hellen Keller in my book.

    5. TheZeitgeist   9 years ago

      Her representative, Mitchell Stubbs, said in a statement that she had died early on Tuesday of sepsis from a ruptured intestine.

      Too many late night reruns? Doh.

      Poor Patty Duke.

      1. BigT   9 years ago

        Swiss will be doing overtime tonight.

  21. Pat (PM)   9 years ago

    Canada plane crash on Quebec island kills several

    Seven people have died after a small private plane crashed on an island off the east coast of Quebec.

    Authorities said the plane crashed as it approached Iles-de-la-Madeleine Airport amid heavy winds and snow.

    Jean Lapierre, a broadcaster and former Canadian transport minister, was one of the seven passengers on the plane, local TV channel TVA reported.

    Mr Lapierre worked as a political analyst for CTV and other Canadian media outlets.

    1. SIV   9 years ago

      Were any Americans killed?

  22. Catatafish & Woodchips   9 years ago

    In response to Piers Morgan's "toughen up, Michelle" tweet (about Michelle Fields), Popehat had an utterly hilarious response:

    Doucheshark [noun]: A celebrity who will die if they do not move forward relentlessly with repulsive behavior. See, e.g., @piersmorgan

    1. John   9 years ago

      I find White to be a douche bag. And that is saying something since I generally agree with him.

      1. paranoid android   9 years ago

        I find White to be a douche bag. And that is saying something since I generally agree with him.

        I don't think anyone believes that that is saying something.

        1. John   9 years ago

          He is. He acts like 1st Amendment law is rocket science. Yeah, you are a first amendment lawyer. BFD. It is not as impressive as White thinks it is.

          He reminds me of a lawyer version of Sanjay Gubta. CNN would bring Gubta on and every other sentence would start with "as a doctor..." White is the same way only he starts his sentences with "as a first amendment lawyer..."

          Gubta was annoying but at least he had something impressive to be annoying about. White, not so much.

          1. Old Man With Candy   9 years ago

            Well, it's not like he's a retarded and multiply-concussed civil service lawyer.

            1. John   9 years ago

              You need to come up here and let me give you a big hug.

  23. JwoodchipperD   9 years ago

    You know who else was late?

    1. Adans smith   9 years ago

      Marshal Ney at Waterloo?

    2. cavalier973   9 years ago

      Nancy Reagan?

      1. HeteroPatriarch   9 years ago

        TOO SOON!

        1. Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)   9 years ago

          I'm just wondering when she's due.

    3. HeteroPatriarch   9 years ago

      Maggie O'Hooligan?

    4. Steve G   9 years ago

      My then-girlfriend about 10 yrs ago?

      1. Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!   9 years ago

        Your now-wife?

        1. Steve G   9 years ago

          Yes!

      2. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

        Congratulations

  24. Irish ?s Lauren Southern   9 years ago

    I DON'T EVEN WANT YOUR LINKS ANYMORE, REASON

  25. John   9 years ago

    All of these assaultopocolpyse threads and not a single creepy comment on Michelle Fields' considerable physical charms. Trump really has broken reason.

    1. Adans smith   9 years ago

      Would ,wood,how's that

    2. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

      Some of us have class, John.

      1. John   9 years ago

        She is too well groomed for you anyway

      2. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

        Grab it's arm?

    3. cavalier973   9 years ago

      Is Michelle Fields pretty, then?

      1. John   9 years ago

        Go to Tundra's link and judge for yourself. I would say yes.

    4. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

      I said that I wouldn't have *my* security detail protect me from getting touched by her, does that count?

      1. John   9 years ago

        Not vulgar and creepy enough. The way things are going, Virginia Postrel might stop hating us. And no one wants that.

        1. Mongo   9 years ago

          The latest tweet from Fields' bf:

          had a lemon drop with a sugared rim and when i took a sip it hurt my lip #whyareyoustaringatmygf?

          1. John   9 years ago

            His Twitter bio says "Winner of the 2011 Funniest Celebrity in DC contest"

            I had no clue who the fuck he was until just now. But he is a "celebrity in DC".

            My god this town is horrible.

            1. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

              Maybe the Funniest Celebrity Contest changed the venue at the last minute and he was the only one who showed up at the the correct address, so he won by forfeit?

              I don't want to contemplate the alternative - that there was a room of DC celebrities in a humor contest and this guy beat all of them.

      2. HeteroPatriarch   9 years ago

        Wait, is Trump gay? NTTAWWT.

      3. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

        I said that I wouldn't have *my* security detail protect me from getting touched by her, does that count?

        Ew.

        1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

          *my* security detail protect me from...

          See. Now THAT is how you do an abstract masturbation euphemism.

  26. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

    I was out with friends the other night, and we were spitballing some ideas.

    If I started a "Malia Obama is Almost 18!!!" Facebook page, how long do you think it would take before it was on the news?

    1. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

      Never mind the news, what about the Secret Service visit, the IRS audit, the DEA raid, etc?

    2. Catatafish & Woodchips   9 years ago

      About ten minutes before you unexpectedly were offering coffee to several members of the Secret Service.

    3. You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

      Why don't you find out?

      Because that is an awesome idea. Do it do it do it do it do it

      1. You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

        (obviously, get your family out of the country first; maybe Snowden has a spare room)

    4. coloraDOOM   9 years ago

      8 days is my over under

      1. Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)   9 years ago

        8 days is my over under

        OK...is THAT one of these masturbation euphemisms being discussed around here? If not, I'd say we're missing out on something great.

    5. John   9 years ago

      Facebook would kick you off as soon as some upstanding Prog turned you in.

      1. Catatafish & Woodchips   9 years ago

        ^This

    6. GILMORE?   9 years ago

      how long do you think it would take before

      ... you got 'disappeared'?

  27. GILMORE?   9 years ago

    A teen boy who pleaded for an end to violence in Chicago has been shot. He's in critical condition.

    That's what you get for being a whiner.

    1. Rich   9 years ago

      Apparently it's an end to violence again *him*, anyway. 8-(

  28. Rich   9 years ago

    Video shows terrorist brothers partying at club before attacks

    So, that means they're going to *hell*, right? RIGHT?!

    Warning: Autostart audio

    1. Catatafish & Woodchips   9 years ago

      Autoplay video always means you're going to hell, yes.

    2. Illocust   9 years ago

      A lot of the young male terrorists have turned out to be terrible Muslims. It's one of the big questions that's running around right now. Why would you be willing to die and kill for a cause that you don't seem to agree with the tenants of.

      1. DenverJ   9 years ago

        Perhaps, like a lapsed catholic in the middle ages, they are trying to bribe their god. Surely they will be given special dispensations because of their noble sacrifice.

        1. Trshmnstr, terror of the trash   9 years ago

          Most people don't understand their religion very well. Some of the more passionate idiots will kill or die for something they don't understand very well.

      2. jarflax   9 years ago

        Islam is a landlord? T E N E T S. Sorry pet peeve

    3. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

      They always party the night before.

      1. Steve G   9 years ago

        IIRC the video was from weeks/months before...

    4. ant1sthenes   9 years ago

      Doesn't blowing yourself up to slaughter innocents wipe the slate clean? Sort of like going to confession or sacrificing animals in religions that are less completely shit.

  29. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

    Single mom of two 'fakes terminal cancer to scam community out of $60k and even a therapy dog before skipping town'

    Now that is what I am talkin' about.

    1. Adans smith   9 years ago

      Last seen with a scare crow ,tin man and a big pussy.

    2. HeteroPatriarch   9 years ago

      Single mom: Shivonie Deokaran (pictured) is accused of moving to Florida with her two sons

      CHILD ABUSE!

      1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

        accused of moving to Florida

        Isn't that pushing it a little too far? She didn't do anything that bad.

    3. GILMORE?   9 years ago

      ""Shivonie Deokara""

      I can't tell if she's black or just a crazy bald person who lives in a tanning bed

      1. HeteroPatriarch   9 years ago

        Deokara is Indian. Dot, not feather.

    4. Illocust   9 years ago

      Only 60K? She needs to up her game. With GoFundMe and other internet institutions she should have been able to make 300K easy.

      1. coloraDOOM   9 years ago

        I should really go for that.

        1. Illocust   9 years ago

          Yeah, damn my morals. If I just didn't care I could probably retire on ill gotten gains by now.

  30. GILMORE?   9 years ago

    President Barack Obama presumed to tell journalists to "dig deeper" for news stories, which is absolutely hilarious for any reporter who has tried to get information from his close-mouthed, antitransparent administration that prosecutes whistleblowers.

    Related =

    Obama Admin Sets New Record in Delays/Failures to Find Files in Open-Records Requests

    1. Rich   9 years ago

      Oh, very funny, GILMORE?.

    2. paranoid android   9 years ago

      Most transparently SF'd link in history!

    3. GILMORE?   9 years ago

      sigh

      1. coloraDOOM   9 years ago

        Why haven't I been made aware of this on social media? ?

    4. Illocust   9 years ago

      Journalists are basically abused wives at this point. Sure he beats them and tells them they are worthless, but that's their fault not his. If they just behaved like the media he deserved he wouldn't need to hit them.

      It's always shocking how much people will put up with once they've decided invested in an idea or person.

      1. John   9 years ago

        They have nowhere else to go. It's not like they have any marketable skills.

        1. Illocust   9 years ago

          They could fight back. Write articles that aren't praising Obama's every pen stroke. They've got all the power in this relationship, They just for some reason choose to let themselves be slapped around instead.

          1. DenverJ   9 years ago

            Not true. If you piss off the White House, you lose access and sources.

    5. Akira   9 years ago

      Man, Obama's gonna be PISSED when he reads about that in the paper!

  31. GILMORE?   9 years ago

    Earlier this month = Detroit Schools beg Federal Government for money, gets millions in "emergency aid"

    Well that's a relief! Now the children will have a future!...

    oh, what's this....

    This week = Thirteen Detroit school principals charged in kickback scheme

    1. Illocust   9 years ago

      Wonder what would happen if the you tied these funds with a decimation of the administration ranks. We'll let you write your own bail out check, but you've got to lay of 10% of your administrators in each school at random. All laid off employees are ineligible for rehiring in any government position (full time, part time, or contract) in Chicago.

  32. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

    I was too distracted this weekend to do my standard trolling, so I missed this story about how a teacher(s) tried to liven up the curriculum with Civil War related activities, including having some students play the role of recaptured runaway slaves.

    (AUTOPLAY)

    I had a HS teacher who had us re-enact the French Revolution, then we guillotined each other and had (of course) cake. I could have finked on them. After eating the cake, that is.

    1. GILMORE?   9 years ago

      I was too distracted this weekend to do my standard trolling

      maybe you should stop

      1. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

        Maybe you should bite me.

        1. Adans smith   9 years ago

          Now boys,we can settle this,with pistols at dawn.

        2. GILMORE?   9 years ago

          I was thinking more in the sense of "affirmative feedback"

          Its not like anyone pays any attention anyway. rickrolling & circumcision references are staler than your brief obsession with "Whoop, There it Is"

          maybe move on

          1. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

            So you're saying I should stick with deep dish pizza?

          2. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

            Anyway, the only reason I linked to "Whoomp, there it is" was to mock another poster who habitually used the phrase "there it is" to comment on some of my posts.

            1. GILMORE?   9 years ago

              This is how you Troll

              it requires getting a 'reaction'

              1. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

                You replied, didn't you?

                Thought getting myself beaten up by socialists who mistake me for a Trump supporter is cool, too.

  33. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

    Confession: I've never eaten deep dish pizza, and I'm kind of afraid to try it

    1. CE   9 years ago

      That's okay. It's not really pizza.

  34. lafe.long   9 years ago

    Cell Phone Gun: Company Creates Double-Barrel .380-Caliber Handgun That Looks Like a Smartphone

    The CEO of Ideal Conceal came up with the idea for the gun after realizing he wanted a more discreet firearm, multiple outlets reported. The gun unfolds to fire and cannot be fired while closed.

    1. HeteroPatriarch   9 years ago

      The gun unfolds to fire and cannot be fired while closed.

      So it fails at both discretion and quick deployment.

    2. Wasteland Wanderer   9 years ago

      Cell phone guns have been around as long as there have been cell phones. And police manage to go on a total freak out about them every couple of years, like they're a new thing, even though they're almost never actually used in a crime. Probably so they can keep using the "he might have had a gun!" excuse every time they execute someone who has a cell phone in their hand.

  35. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago


    11th Circuit Upholds Vampire Pimp's Sentence

    1. Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)   9 years ago

      I think I saw this movie back in the 80's on some local station.

  36. Illocust   9 years ago

    "Google wants to bring landlines back."

    I'd be cool with a system that picked up my cellphone signal if I was within range and sent it over landline. It could take pressure off towers, and help get reception in even the least ideal of houses.

    1. BigT   9 years ago

      Interesting. Is there a system that will do this over wifi?

      1. Illocust   9 years ago

        Not that I know of. It'd be nice if there were though.

        1. DenverJ   9 years ago

          About 7 yrs ago, I was looking for products to sell, and I ran across a cell phone that would do VOIP when it was connected to a hot spot. Not exactly the same, but the concept has been around for a while. And the smart phones today have VOIP apps.
          Google's contribution seems to be the ability to port the phone number through different devices, but you can buy a phone number through a VOIP provider and do the same thing. Just not the free stuff like Skype or google voice. I used one that was pretty good but I can't remember the name. If anybody cares enough, let me know and I'll find it.

          1. DenverJ   9 years ago

            And by pretty good, I mean I was in charge of hundreds of phone num meets with local area codes throughout the US, and I would send them all to an office in Denver, sort them, and send the calls to the proper desk. Can be used with a very fancy office phone system, or forwarded to your device. Custom greetings, holds, voice mail, etc.

        2. Always a Carl, Never a Clyde   9 years ago

          What you need to know about Wi-Fi calling

  37. lafe.long   9 years ago

    Burger King: Fast Food Chain Launches 'Angriest Whopper' Sandwich With Red Bun

    The chain announced the launch of a new Whopper sandwich, consisting of flame-grilled beef and toppings on a red bun with hot sauce baked in. The burger is available for a limited time.

    1. coloraDOOM   9 years ago

      I fucking love red dye.

      1. Libertarian   9 years ago

        + #2

  38. lafe.long   9 years ago

    San Francisco State University: Video Shows Woman Confronting Man Over Dreadlocks on Campus

    The video shows a black woman telling a white man that he is appropriating her culture by having dreadlocks. SFSU said the two individuals aren't employees and that it is investigating the incident.

    1. coloraDOOM   9 years ago

      Right. That's her culture.

      1. BigT   9 years ago

        "Hey, bitch, wearing clothes is appropriating my culture!"

        1. db   9 years ago

          "Hey, bitch, wearing clothesshoes and being outside the kitchen is appropriating my culture!"

    2. Illocust   9 years ago

      Cultural appropriation is so incredibly stupid. It literally seems to only exist for the purpose of giving people the right to yell at others. It's not even like the normal SJW clap trap where you can benefit financially from buying in.

    3. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

      "Asked by the woman and another person standing nearby if he's Egyptian, Goldstein said, "No, but it doesn't matter.""

      Goldstein, eh? I bet his ancestors learned about hairstyles when they were in the Land of Goshen.

      Anyway, good job demonizing a Goldstein, lady.

      1. Illocust   9 years ago

        Aren't dreads as we recognize them mainly from Jamaica not Egypt?

        1. coloraDOOM   9 years ago

          That's what I thought. At least the dreads as we think of them. Rasta.

      2. coloraDOOM   9 years ago

        If you can get your hair to make dreads, have dreads. I don't care.

        1. DenverJ   9 years ago

          I had a GF years ago, white s white can be. Pale skin and blonde hair that was almost translucent. She did a month in county jail, and came out with cornrows. It was horrible.

          1. coloraDOOM   9 years ago

            It's not always a good look.

    4. Half-Virtue, Half-Vice   9 years ago

      God, that's my nightmare.

      1. Francisco d'Anconia   9 years ago

        Not mine. I'd rather enjoy telling her to fuck off.

    5. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

      I'm pretty sure this idiot eats pizza and pasta.

      Well, as a (presumably upstanding) member of the Italian tribe, I ask, honey do you eat my food? If so, STOP IT!

      See how fucking retarded you are?

      1. gaoxiaen   9 years ago

        The Chinese say we appropriated their noodles. The Mexicans say we appropriated their tomatoes. Will it never end?

    6. Social Contractor   9 years ago

      She said that in English?

  39. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

    "...Massachusetts Senators Edward Markey and Elizabeth Warren...introduced the Ghost Army Congressional Gold Medal Act (S.2730) to honor the 23rd Headquarters Special Troops, also called the "Ghost Army", which was a top-secret unit of the United States Army that served in the European Theater of Operations during World War II.

    "Today, 40 veterans of the Ghost Army survive.

    "Often operating on or near the front lines, the Ghost Army used inflatable tanks, artillery, airplanes and other vehicles, advanced engineered soundtracks, and skillfully crafted radio trickery to create the illusion of sizable American forces where there were none and to draw the enemy away from Allied troops."

  40. lafe.long   9 years ago

    Scotland: Jewish Community Gets Officially Registered Kosher Tartan

    The 100 percent kosher design was approved by the Scottish Tartans Authority and Rabbi Mendel Jacobs, the only Scottish-born rabbi living in Scotland, news outlets reported.

    Och gevalt!

    1. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

      "Jews have always enjoyed a positive relationship with Scotland. It's one of the few countries where there is no history of persecutions.??"

      This rabbi apparently never heard of Oscar Slater.

      1. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

        Alternate joke: APPROPRIATION!

    2. jarflax   9 years ago

      Now if only everyone eligible weren't too cheap to buy it.

      Yay an ethnic joke I can make since I am both.

  41. lafe.long   9 years ago

    Royce C. Lamberth: US Judge Grants Conservative Group Right to Query Officials in Clinton Email Case

    Judge Royce Lamberth of the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia said Judicial Watch could ask officials to answer questions under oath due to "government wrongdoing and bad faith."

  42. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

    Urologist says Matt Harvey's 'holding it in' could explain blood in the urine, condition should clear up over time

    I still think this is all a cover for a STD. However, this has inspired me to finally invest in a chamber pot.

  43. Libertarian   9 years ago

    Sometimes I think I'm the only one in the country that Trump hasn't threatened to sue.

    1. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

      That's because you're not worth Trump's attention.

  44. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

    Nancy Reagan may be dead, but Yakov Smirnoff is still with us

    1. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

      OK, maybe that headline isn't quite the "clickbait" I thought it would be.

    2. db   9 years ago

      When Sanders is President, Yakov will be first against the wall.

  45. BigT   9 years ago

    Hitlary refuses to debate Bernie until he changes his tone.

    Bernie should get a voice-shifter and use it at his speeches to troll her.

    MSNBC or ? should hold a debate between Bernie and an empty pantsuit.

    1. DenverJ   9 years ago

      Perfect

    2. Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper   9 years ago

      Between Bernie and a wiped server. That would be the shit.

      1. db   9 years ago

        He can polish it with a cloth when he hirts its feelings.

  46. Libertarian   9 years ago

    In other non-Trump news:

    Alameda County's top bureaucrat must be a hard worker because, it seems, she never takes a vacation. In return, when she retires, she's going to be pulling down a pension that tops half a million dollars a year.

    http://www.sfchronicle.com/bay.....er-premium

    1. SIV   9 years ago

      "Furthermore, we are lucky that she has stayed here in this county for so long when she could have made more money elsewhere in the private sector."

  47. Playa Manhattan.   9 years ago

    P.M. Links make you climax?

  48. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

    Either the squirrels have developed the power of changing posts, or you felt so strongly about this you had to answer twice.

  49. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

    ENB usually puts up the sexy linx.

  50. HeteroPatriarch   9 years ago

    He tried again.

  51. Los Doyers   9 years ago

    Chilled so nice, he named it twice

  52. John   9 years ago

    Have some ta and some ta.

    And never forget Ms. Fields wants to be taken seriously. Her ability to pull off that dress on TV had nothing to do with Fox putting her on the air.

  53. Adans smith   9 years ago

    Damn,that's a WOULD!

  54. Half-Virtue, Half-Vice   9 years ago

    mhmm. dat's nice

  55. TheZeitgeist   9 years ago

    Like in Jurassic Park, nature always finds a way.

  56. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

    ENB usually puts up the sexy linx.

    Here is your sexy link, pervert: Heavy Boobs

    WARNING: A song about large breasts sung by a woman with large breasts.

  57. Illocust   9 years ago

    Yep, Libertarians generally have very strong morals from what I've seen.

  58. HeteroPatriarch   9 years ago

    .357 with a 2" barrel seems like a bad idea.

  59. Francisco d'Anconia   9 years ago

    Meh...

    Check out the weight of this puppy.

  60. Francisco d'Anconia   9 years ago

    No, but I've considered it for a bear gun. Nice and light to pack, but will get the job done.

    It must kick like a mule.

  61. pan fried wylie   9 years ago

    First, twerking ruined asses, now this.

  62. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

    I sung this all the way home.

  63. jarflax   9 years ago

    I put a box of .357 through This the day I bought it and couldn't close my right fist for a week from the swelling.

  64. Francisco d'Anconia   9 years ago

    11.4 oz? Holy shit!

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