Romney Urges Cruz Vote, Paris Suspect Captured, Funny Common Core Math: P.M. Links

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  1. Suspect in Paris attacks captured.

    Uber driver takes it on le chin.

    1. Hello.

  2. David Brooks goes full #NeverTrump.

    Always go full #nevertrump

  3. Trade is becoming more popular among many Americans?just not among Republicans.

    Free or fair?

    1. Trading freedom for security.

      1. Unfortunately, that’s always popular.

  4. Twilight cosplayers rejoice! For it only takes 6.4 minutes to get your fill of blood from someone’s neck.

    1. Do your calculations take into account how extraordinarily Twilight sucks?

      1. IT WAS A “FORBIDDEN LOVE” STORY AND IF YOU COULDN’T APPRECIATE THAT THEN YOU’RE HOPELESS

        1. I watch 6 minutes of it on TV. I think it gave me retardation.

          1. Rifftrax version is the only way I got through any of them.

          2. You may have caught it from Kristen Stewart.

            1. I liked her in “Into the Wild” because she was in her underwear and didn’t say much.

              1. In ‘On the Road’ she shows her boobies, but that vacant dullard’s stare makes me feel guilty about it.

        2. There’s a reason it was a forbidden love.

          century plus old monsters shouldn’t be spending their time moving from high school to high school. Only Matthew McConaughy gets to do that.

          Alright alright alright!

          1. At least Buffy had the self-awareness to quip about Angel’s obsession with Buffy being a little creepy.

        3. Wait, I thought it was erotic fan-fiction.

    2. Oh god the stupid, it burns.

      I read the article.

      So a bunch of college students made a whole bunch of assumptions about a vampire to randomly decide to figure out how long it takes to remove 15% of your blood volume from the carotid artery.

      ‘To cut down on variables’ they pulled assumptions out of their arses and got an answer that is *even less practical* than anything involving spherical cows.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spherical_cow

      1. I don’t see you coming up with anything less assumption-y.
        *spits*

        1. Everybody knows White Wolf did vampires better.

          WoD bitches.

          1. They did, but they should be dragged out back and beaten with sticks for turning werewolves into umbra-hopping eco-terrorists.

            1. The Sons of Ether forgive all sins.

      2. Training for their future careers in government.

      3. Whatever shape they start out as, they can be turned into delicious short cylinders.

  5. He got white powder in the mail…

    How is that out of the ordinary?

    1. They usually use a courier?

      1. Some women make great couriers.

        Customs: Woman smuggled 1/2 pound of cocaine in her vagina

    2. He got caught this time, so he had to pretend he didn’t know what it was?

  6. Ah, good ol’, on time Shackford links.

    *scrolls up*

    WAIT A MINUTE

    1. The signature Suave move…

      No ALT TEXT!

  7. Salon: Let’s nationalize Fox News: Imagining a very different media
    …In a socialist society a portion of the media would be reserved for news disseminated by the democratically elected governing bodies, that is, working people elected by and for working people.

    But state ownership is not the only way media can represent the interests of working people, to speak with or through their voices. In most cases, the media would be owned and operated by working-class organizations?labor unions, neighborhood associations, and cultural centers.

    So news (and views) in a socialist society will be brought to you by a plethora of noncommercial sponsors. The government media will report on and discuss, for example, the major government plans for production, how to improve education, and more. But other media?newspapers, TV and radio stations, and Web sites sponsored by workers’ organizations, cultural organizations, youth groups, sports teams, and neighborhood groups will report on issues specific to their interests….

    1. …Union dues today pay for the publication, including staff salaries, of many union newspapers. In a socialist society, where money is allocated based on assessed social need and not on projected profits, government will subsidize many salaries in social, economic, political, and educational areas….

      …Indeed, will “Autoworkers News and Views” on TV have a regular segment devoted to union members’ criticisms?

      Why not? Who better to discuss and debate problems inside a union than the members who live with and often suffer from those problems? If unions or neighborhood councils are truly trying to make things better for their members, what more effective tools than media outlets to spur such improvements?…

      1. This is quite possibly the dumbest thing Salon has ever written.

        1. That’s a pretty stiff competition.

          1. Which says a lot about how extraordinarily dumb that article is.

            1. Peak derp, until the next one.

        2. If by “dumbest” you mean “wickedest.”

          Though it’s a book excerpt, not original content.

        3. I dunno, I suspect the oh so PC left would be a bit shocked at what a blue color labor writer would have to say. Newsflash Salon, union voters are only on your side because they don’t read Salon.

          1. Collar is not the same as color even if those with blue collars tend to vote blue color

      2. “Who better to discuss and debate problems inside a union than the members who live with and often suffer from those problems?”

        Who better indeed – we already see this process of open discussion and debate regarding problems inside unions today! All we need is to loose their fetters for even more openness about *all* their flaws and problems.

        “If unions or neighborhood councils are truly trying to make things better for their members,”

        That may be the biggest “if” I’ve seen in a long time.

        1. Would they extend this logic to business owners whenever they call for government intervention in the markets? I thought not.

          1. I started thinking along the lines of “who better than Wall Street banks to discuss and debate the problems inside the bank than the members who live with and suffer from those problems?” But I actually could not finish the thought without laughing.

      3. So, uh – what *exactly* is stopping the unions from creating/purchasing their own ‘news’ dissemination outlet and disseminating news?

        Is it that they might have to reduce union official salaries and perks and expenses to save the money because big old meany government won’t steal it from other people and give it to them?

        Its that isn’t it?

        1. The KKKochtopus and Faux News stole all of the magic media beans.

        2. They acknowledge that unions have their own news dissemination outlets now. The real problem is twofold:

          1) they have to pay for it themselves

          2) other people are allowed to speak, too

          1. The problem is threefold.
            3) other people are free to not watch or listen.

      4. where money is allocated based on assessed social need

        Why not? We already have “From each according to his means” (see 16th Amendment). Let’s simply tack on “To each according to his needs.”

        #letsgofullcommie

        1. No, this is totally different. You’ll still be free to start your own* vegan hot yoga studio**, and we’ll even let you keep 40%*** of the net income! It’ll be great!

          *assuming The People don’t think of a better use for it
          **as long as we approve of what the business is
          ***for now.

      5. Comrade, we read the people’s news tonight.

    2. In a socialist society a portion of the media would be reserved for news disseminated by the democratically elected governing bodies, that is, working people elected by and for working people.

      How nice of them discredit socialism in a single sentence.

      1. Every “progressive” (or outright socialist) I’ve ever met is filled with disdain for the working class. They seem working people as dirty, stupid, racist yokels who wouldn’t know what’s good for them if it hit them in the face. They are filled with smug elitism and all seem to enjoy that “People of Wal-Mart” website.

        Yet, when the discussion turns to politics, they exalt these working people as if they are the most fair and judicious people on Earth; as if it would be a utopia if only these working people had the means to enforce their collective will on the whole country.

        Cognitive dissonance is a hell of a thing.

    3. From the comments:

      I was born and raised in communist/socialist Yugoslavia. How was media in my country. Fantastic! Really. Freedom of press was pretty high if we talking about one, communist, party ruling system. How was that possible? Trough system of youth magazines and newspapers. Trough policy of early morning education TV programs and late night and Sunday foreign entertainment programs. Trough system of religious press,mostly from Catholic church. O yeah, normally there was censorship . And working class was well informed about they rights and position. Every factory had they own bulletins , some even radio station. Media system wasn’t perfect at all but was well balanced without racism,bigotry,misogyny, nationalism and hate of any kind.

      I have known people raised in Yugoslavia. They didn’t share this view.

      1. “Freedom of press was pretty high if we talking about one, communist, party ruling system. . . . . O yeah, normally there was censorship”

        “Freedom of press” does not mean what this person thinks it means.

        1. Comrade, the press is free for all viewpoints. You may scream your opposition to the Party as loudly as you wish.

        2. That is a caveat the scope of which negates the rest of the sentence such that I thought he might be facetious.

        3. The writer knows full well whereof he writes. Freedom of the press was enshrined in constitution of USSR.

          ARTICLE 125. In conformity with the interests of the working people, and in order to strengthen the socialist system, the citizens of the U.S.S.R. are guaranteed by law:

          freedom of speech;
          freedom of the press;
          freedom of assembly, including the holding of mass meetings;
          reedom of street processions and demonstrations.

          These civil rights are ensured by placing at the disposal of the working people and their organizations printing presses, stocks of paper, public buildings, the streets, communications facilities and other material requisites for the exercise of these rights.

        4. Posting articles in the press WAS FREE as long as the subject matter was agreed ed upon.

      2. How much corn does that guy have wedged in his shit-stained brain?

      3. Man, I didn’t know Tito was still alive!

      4. And I was likewise raised there. The man is one of the idiots who broke apart the country, all the while railing against evil West breaking up the coutnry.

        1. What do you know? /slaps PZ off side of the head.

      5. This seriously reads like a sandersinista projecting his beliefs in a bizarre Yakov Smirnov dialect.

    4. Sounds like Oswald Mosley’s ideas.

    5. We can call it Pravda. Or Veritas, if that’s more American sounding.

  8. Trump adviser says riots aren’t violence.

    They’re simply a temporary border fence made out of humans.

    1. It is not a riot. It is a kinetic action, just like bombing Libya.

    2. Setting the stage for the first Donald vs Hillary debate?

      Chunderdome!

  9. Law Professor Suggests Overthrowing Democracy To Rob Trump Of Presidency
    …Muller’s solution to the Trump problem is simple: If voters appear likely to commit the egregious error of electing Trump, state legislatures should simply redefine how presidential electors are chosen. (RELATED: Professor Pegs Trump Presidency Odds At 97 to 99 Percent)

    “State legislatures should consider whether to retake [the authority to choose electors] in the 2016 election in an effort to stop Trump,” he says. “Many could consider this proposal, but the Texas state legislature is a natural place to start. It could easily pass a law returning power to the legislature. On Election Day, the legislature could decide whether to vote for Trump or Mitt Romney, the prior Republican nominee; former Texas governor Rick Perry, who dropped out of the 2016 race early on; a popular GOP figure such as Condoleezza Rice, whose name has recently been floated as an alternative; or their own junior Sen. Ted Cruz, presently trailing Trump in the Republican Party delegate count.”

    Muller’s strategy is, at the least, entirely constitutional. …

    1. It is also totally untenable. How crazy are the revenge fantasies going to get if it looks like Trump might win?

      1. “Fifty Shades of Trump”

      2. There will be a Lone Gunman.

        1. +1 Frohike

    2. Every day some new jackass comes along with an anti-Trump idea or article that is so odious and stupid, I am tempted to vote for the jerk just to stick it to 99% of the self-important douchebags in the Western world.

      1. Vote for a douche to stick it to the douches!

      2. I am tempted to vote for the jerk just to stick it to 99% of the self-important douchebags in the Western world.

        Works for me.

    3. “Professor Pegs Trump Presidency Odds At 97 to 99 Percent”

      I hope he bets everything on it.

      1. You could probably get a pretty good line from him with those odds.

        Also, Poli sci profs and their stupid predictions. Has anyone ever examined what percent of the time they are more right than the average person’s educated guess?

      2. “Professor Pegs Trump”

        There we go.

    4. Why not just have someone declare himself God-Emporer and eliminate this pesky election issue?

      1. We’re about 25 thousand years early for that.

      2. That would have the same result as voting for the pirate king.

    5. Dear crazy Law Prof, Please do not do anything that forces me to consider joining a Trumpist army.

      1. How cute. You think you’ll have a choice.

  10. Dad: 1, Common Core: 0.

    There’s absolutely no chance that the scenario in his story actually happened the way it happened. But as a dad struggling to help his 1st grade kid in common core math, it’s a nice story anyhow.

    1. I make myself known to the teacher on the very first day. It saves me quite a bit of time later in the year.

      But yeah, no fucking way I’d get a lawyer involved. There are much easier ways.

    2. It’s certainly the best thing I’ve read in quite some time.

      1. Same here. Being a bit of a math geek (I got a math minor by default with my CS degree) I thought it was one of the most uplifting stories I’ve read in a while.

    3. My daughter scored the only 100 on the exam that year for her grade, not just in her class, but in the country.

      Yep, I’m calling bullshit. And BTW, Dad, you may think you and your little one are clever but 9^9^9 is NOT a number, it is a calculation.

      1. 9^9^9 is NOT a number, it is a calculation

        *** rubs hands ***

        Good. How about 9!^9!^9! ?

        1. While we’re tossing in operators that weren’t referenced in the question, why not add a few more digits too?!

          999!^999!^999!

          1. The question specified three digits, and said nothing about operators.

            But there’s always FFF if you want to get picky.

          2. *** rubs hands ***

            Good. Good.

            And what if I, um, deem 9 to represent infinity?

            1. It would no longer be a number.

          3. Might as well skip right to up arrow notation.

      2. Well, it is a number, but not a number represented by 3 digits, but by 3 numerals and two operation symbols. Even if that were a real answer to the question, it wouldn’t be the right one. There are other operations you could put in there that would get you an even bigger number.

        Of course, the problem still rests on a lot of assumptions. As he is apparently a computer guy, he could have said “FFF”, which would have been cleverer and more accurate.

        1. What’s an FFF, I’m assuming you’re not talkin’ bout the French Football Federation.

          1. In hexadecimal, F represents the number 16. So FFF would be 4095.

            1. Actually, F is 15. In hex, 10 is 16.

            2. In hexadecimal, F is fifteen. 10 is sixteen.

              Good grief. Hie thee hence to a Common Core remedial class!

        2. Handwriting it out, you would write a 9 with a super-positioned 9 and another super-positioned 9. Not easily done on a computer.

          1. Yeah, I corrected myself on that below. With extra pedantry.

          2. but easily done in code, say python:
            x = 9**(9**9)

        3. 1 / (1 – 1)

          1. winner

          2. Technically, that’s undefined. What you need is lim(1/1-x) as x approaches 1.

            1. But that would make x not a digit under the terms of the question.

              1. Well, you have the 1 in the limit.

        4. It occurs to me that using more conventional notation, the 9^9^9 does only use 3 digits.

          Now I think the problem is lack of proper distinction between terms like number, numeral and digit. It is the biggest number you can represent using only 3 numerical digits and common notation in decimal numbers.

          What they really meant to ask was “what is the largest number you can represent in positional notation in base 10 using only 3 digits?”

          1. It was lazy thinking by the people who wrote the exam questions because the kids being tested are officially not supposed to know about exponents (though why did they did not were the question to exclude multiplication and addition operators?).

            1. Everybody knows pi are round.

              1. No, pi are squared

      3. Actually yes it is.

        The little girl (in the almost certainly fictional story) was correct because the question as asked was

        What is the largest number that can be represented with 3 digits

        you do not need to exponent operators to represent 9^9^9, you can just use superscript notation, meaning that all that is needed to represent 1.9662705e+27 is 3 digits and nothing else.

        Of course there is an even bigger number if you bring in the hexadecimal numbering system you could go F^F^F but any way you cut it 999 is not the correct answer.

        Also even if you object to the exponential notation there is still FFF that is larger than 999 which just goes to show how little about the subjects these test designers actually know.

        1. Why would test designers need knowledge of the subject when they have impeccable credentials as test designers?

          1. For the same reason math teachers don’t need to know much about math when they are high educated in teaching methods.

          2. Surely you’re joking, Mr. Feynmann?

        2. If we’re going with FFF being a valid answer, why not just go with base 36 and say that ZZZ is the answer?

          1. What the hell is base 62, chopped liver?

            Casist!

            (I don’t know how Cyrillic fits into this. Wikipedia says upper and lower case are not as differentiated.)

        3. you can just use superscript notation

          Yeah, me FAIL there.

          1. What’s worse is I would have come up with the same smart-ass answer when I was that age and all Math Clubbing and shit.

      4. Herman Cain, call your office!

    4. Also the triangle on the globe thing is not a triangle, any geometry teacher who congratulates a kid’s dad for having a kid come up with that kind of convoluted crap ain’t much of a geometry teacher.

      1. It is indeed a triangle, being a figure composed of three angles and all.

        1. A triangle is three point connected by three straight lines.

          1. Until you go non-Euclidean and draw a triangle on the surface of a sphere, which the kid cleverly figured out prior to having been introduced to the concept of non-Euclidean space.

            Because the thing about Euclidean space is – it doesn’t exist.

            1. You can call a dog’s tail a leg but the dog only has four legs, you can’t draw a triangle on a globe. If you want to come up with some new shape and call it a “such and such triangle”, go for it, that doesn’t change the definition of a triangle.

              1. I didn’t invent non-Euclidean geometry. It is actually a thing:

                https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ Non-Euclidean_geometry

                Take it up with Johann Lambert – I’m just the messenger.

              2. Non-Euclidean geometry really is a thing. I promise.

              3. You are assuming that “triangle” means something that only exists on one plane, which is what most people would assume is meant.

                “Assume” makes an ass out of you and me.

              4. Bermudans like the simplicity.

          2. Triangles are not limited to two-dimensional space.

              1. Very persuasive rebuttal. Are you Cytotoxic in disguise?

                1. See above, A triangle is a 2d shape comprised of three vertices and three straight line segments, any other definition will have a modifier in the name a “Sarcasmic Triangle” or the “Hyperbole Triangle.” Next you’ll be telling me that a sandwich with turkey, coleslaw, and 1000 island dressing is a Reuben.

                  1. Traditionally, yes. You are correct. Just like you can’t take the square root of a negative number.

                    But when you get into higher mathematics, the rules change ( i = square root of -1).

                    You just have to think outside the box triangle.

                    1. Ah, traditionally correct, the second best kind of correct.

                    2. Ah, traditionally correct, the second best kind of correct.

                      Another example would be in physics. What we learn in high school and the first year of college is Newtonian physics. It works because the speeds are extremely slow compared to the speed of light. Newtonian physics breaks down when you get near the speed of light. It just doesn’t work. So technically Newtonian physics is actually wrong, but the errors at speeds that we use are so small that they don’t matter. But they do when you get close to c.

                    3. But they do when you get close to c.

                      And then you are really stuck with non-Euclidean geometry.

                  2. A planar triangle is a 2d shape comprised of three vertices and three straight line segments

                    A planar triangle is called a “triangle” for the same reason that a b-flat trumpet is called a “trumpet.” There are all sorts of other trumpets, but your average, everyday person is only going to encounter a standard b-flat trumpet. Similarly, your average, everyday person is only going to encounter (the concept of) a planar triangle.

                2. Given that he’s trashing you to the point where all you’re left with is snotty sarcasm, he might well be.

              2. Sorry, dude. That’s just wrong. A triangle can be embedded in a space of any number of dimensions. Even if you do limit yourself to 2D spaces, there are Gaussian spaces that are 2D and not flat.

                1. What you have there is an embedded triangle not a triangle.

                  1. I don’t know why you continue to argue with several people who obviously know more about this than you do. The word “triangle” has commonly been used to refer to three sided figures defined by three points in non-Euclidean geometries for centuries now. If you don’t like it, tough shit.

                    1. I don’t know why you continue to argue with several people who obviously know more about this than you do.

                      Ignorance is strength.

                    2. I don’t know why you continue to argue with several people who obviously know more about this than you do

                      Um, you do realise that this is the Reason blog. It’s kinda what happens here.

                    3. Yeah, fair enough.

                      But seriously, here’s an opportunity to learn about something interesting about the wonders of mathematical generalization. I’m not trying to insult you or anything.

                    4. Tulpa claimed to be a math professor. I almost wonder what he might have to say. Almost. No, not even almost. Never mind.

                      *lights some sage*

                    5. Tulpa is a high school math teacher. He allowed everyone here to conjecture that he was a professor.

                    6. I’m not trying to insult you or anything

                      No worries, I’m too dumb to be learnt or insulted.

          3. A triangle is three point connected by three straight lines.

            Here’s your problem. In geometry, there are just lines. What you would informally call a non-straight line is a curve, technically speaking. In Euclidean geometry, what you intuitively think of as a straight line corresponds to the concept of a line. But it doesn’t have to work that way.

            1. I think the current definition is still Einstein’s – i.e. a “straight” line is how light travels. It’s counterintuitive, as light can appear to travel in a curve from some points of observation, but I don’t believe a better definition of “straight” has been brought forward.

              1. In space-time with smooth geometry, that probably is about right. It really depends on what kind of geometry you are working in, though.

      2. It may not be relevant to the basic geometry the teacher was trying to teach. But it is a pretty impressive thing for a first grader to figure out on her own. Spherical geometry, and non-Euclidean geometries in general are widely useful in all kinds of science and engineering.

        1. I think it’s very clever for a first grader. I guess my question would be is common core = lowest common denominator?

          1. “I guess my question would be is common core = lowest common denominator?”

            It’s worse than that. It’s “we realize that this is the wrong answer, but this is the answer according to the government’s standards, so therefore this is the answer.”

            1. Might makes right. Government is might. Therefore government is always right.

              Q.E.D.

              1. Logic!

            2. I think it’s more the realization that there were unstated assumptions in the question being asked and the kids who bought into those assumptions were screwed compared to the little girl in the story and that standardized tests do not allow for multiple correct answers.

              Probably what should have happened was to throw out that question as it was flawed.

            3. I think it’s more the realization that there were unstated assumptions in the question being asked and the kids who bought into those assumptions were screwed compared to the little girl in the story and that standardized tests do not allow for multiple correct answers.

              Probably what should have happened was to throw out that question as it was flawed.

          2. Lowest common denominator is a tool/concept that is discouraged as a distraction from true understanding of common Core mathematics.

            Is this an orwellian contraction of the language to discourage thoughtcrime?

        2. Actually I believe she was in 4th grade when that event occurred not that I believe the facts of that story are accurately being represented

          1. Still pretty good. If it actually happened.

    5. There’s absolutely no chance that the scenario in his story actually happened the way it happened.

      I agree. The “parent” asserts that he went through all this BS to fight common core in grade school (2nd or 3rd grade at the latest) and that his daughter is in college now. Has common core even been around for 12 years?

      Even if it has, it’s entirely unbelievable that this dad would leave his kid in a CC school after the shit he went through in grade school. If he has enough money to pursue this administrative remedy in his spare time, he has enough money to send the kid to private school.

      1. He’s doing a bit of equivocating and hand-waiving – he equates Common Core with standardized testing and thus NCLB, which is what the story is *actually* about. Common Core is brand-spanking new – the ink is still drying, but it does smack of more of the same.

        1. Common Core is not new by any means.

      2. Yes. My mom quit teaching public school and went to work for a church in 1996 because of the first edition of Common Core.

        1. Yes, the standards and accountability movement has been around since the early 90s, and the first implementation of what is now know as Common Core was in 1996. Of course, back then, standards and accountability were solidly Republican platform planks.

    6. Somewhat related, I knew this guy in high school: http://www.nytimes.com/1997/02…..wrong.html

    7. Anecdotality aside, the central ideas (the test is standard; deviation=disruption, etc.) are certainly accurate.

      It’s like teachers are TRYING to prove they can easily be replaced by IBM Watson.

  11. This is why we’re doomed. By all the measure of speed, the ‘capitalist’ every man for himself getting into separate lines was faster. One big line got better reviews for customer satisfaction because it was more ‘fair’.
    Mythbusters: Supermarket Checkout Lines

    1. What does this say about who now?

    2. The rate at which one would trade variance for speed is completely subjective.

    3. It doesn’t matter which line I choose. Someone ahead of me will be a customer with a problem checking out.

      If you see OneOut in line do not get behind him.

    4. I’ve thought supermarkets should have fewer (not one) lines leading to multiple cashiers so you don’t get stuck behind a price check or (in my state) a 16yo cashier who can’t ring up an alcohol sale. Does that make me a slave to “fairness” and thus a socialist?

      1. No. You should buy a supermarket and try that idea out, see if it gives you a competitive advantage. If you have often thought supermarkets should be forced to have fewer lines leading to multiple cashiers, *that* makes you a socialist.

        1. Well, I never thought they should be forced. I’ve suggested it to them but that’s as far as it goes. The self-service registers tend to suggest the idea might work.

      2. I think you should just have an RFID tag associated with your payment method, RFID tags on all of the items you purchase, and should just be billed as you walk out the store. We would still need one or two cashier lanes for the regulated products/produce/oddball stuff/technical glitches, but 90% of people could just walk in and walk out.

            1. I should not have signed that patent assignment contract…

      3. I don’t mind the format they use at some commissaries – one big line and you automatically get directed to the first open register – keeps some free aisle space and you know that you’re going to an empty register (ie. not stuck behind one particular person).

        1. They do this at Barnes & Noble too.

  12. David Brooks goes full #NeverTrump.

    False flag or legitimate threat? Either way I’m sure someone will say this helps Trump.

    1. Fuck. I meant the envelope one.
      *throws iPhone*

      1. *catches iPhone, sees it’s an iPhone 5, gives it to a bum*

        1. Like I’d be caught dead with a last gen phone.

          1. Don’t even try to out-hipster me, old man.

            1. Wait. Wouldn’t a true hipster be using a briefcase phone?

          2. Stop handle hopping you sexy bastard. How am I supposed to stalk you if you’re constantly up and changing your username!?

            1. I merged it for YOUR convenience!

              1. Well now I’d feel like a jerk if I had feelings. Thanks, bro.

      2. That would be very dumb. He’s under Secret Service protection, and it will be investigated.

        1. You’re not thinking 3-D Vulcan chess like some Trump fans.

    2. Just another Canadian trying to subvert the US revolution and put us under Queen Elizabeth heel

      1. *chants* WE DON’T ANSWER TO A QUEEN WE DON’T ANSWER TO A QUEEN

    1. What the fuck is that place? It’s like a PUA and Trumpfan crossbreeding orgy of retardation.

      bluepillprofessor says:
      March 17, 2016 at 1:42 pm
      Did everybody see Trump’s reaction when that guy tried to jump on the stage?

      Watch the Alpha male in action: TLDR- The Secret Service had to protect the guy from Trump, NOT the other way around. Watch it:

      Goes from “Trump is an alpha” to fantasizing about Trump getting shot in the chest and brushing it off in about 6 comments. It’s an odd place.

  13. Disney and Pixar movies aren’t doing enough to help kids understand economic inequality. Or something.

    http://finance.yahoo.com/news/…..2975.html#

    1. They’re teaching people that government is honest?

    2. This asshat has no idea how storytelling works.

      Poor protagonist = sympathetic character. Duh. Rags-to-Riches. Cinderella wasn’t originally a Disney story, bro.

      Is he fucking joking with Aladdin? There’s an entire song about inequality at the beginning!

    3. So it should be no surprise that Yahoo is going tit’s up?

  14. What’s the largest number you can represent with 3 digits?

    While I applaud the daughter and father team on this, one might wax philosophical about what “represent with” means.

    1. How about ‘digit’? In hexadecimal, ‘FFF’ is legitimate. In base 26, ‘ZZZ’ is. So largest would be ‘Z^Z^Z’.
      Which would be pretty funny, especially arguing it with the kind of nitwit that becomes a school administrator, never mind the kind of jack-booted thug that becomes a teacher.

      1. I was willing to let that slide, given the age group, but yes.

      2. Suppose we take the international unicode character set as the base. Then we are in base 16^4 or so! However, based on probabilities within that set, most numbers would be represented purely in Mandarin.

      3. Jack-booted thugs typically become teachers?! Where are you getting this insane idea?

      4. ” In base 26, ‘ZZZ’ is. So largest would be ‘Z^Z^Z’.”

        Technically that is base 36, you still have 0 – 9 in addition to A-Z

    2. I do all my maths in the googillion base.

    3. Is the answer three infinity signs?

      1. No, they are not digits.

    4. Best I can come up with is to take three 1s, and make a really large 7.

    5. Errr 999 but repeating (with the line over the top that I can’t do on a keyboard)?

    6. Right? Each digit “1” represents Graham’s Number and three “1”s represents Graham’s Number raised to the power of Graham’s Number raised to the power of Graham’s Number.

  15. “Suspect in Paris attacks captured.”

    Meh. Unless it’s Mugatu, they all look the same.

  16. Trump adviser says riots aren’t violence.

    Pfft, next he’ll say voting isn’t violence.

  17. The other day a friend asked me for help signing up/navigating the health insurance market. We’re both in our mid-20s and I’m a certified CAC so he gave me a call, brought over some beer and we started working. He wanted to know what his options were since he’s aware of the tax for not having health insurance, but his current job provides “unaffordable” insurance (by his definition, not the government’s). Seeing as how he rents a small house with a friend in a low-cost, rural-ish area and doesn’t have television or internet at his house (he opts not to buy it), I figure he doesn’t live a particularly lavish lifestyle and the insurance could well be unaffordable…

    So I ask him to go to his employer and get information regarding his employer’s insurance options so I can compare them to the affordability standard set by the government. This would allow him to apply for a special enrollment period or possibly an exemption from the tax if the marketplace plans are also unaffordable.

    1. (continued…) That’s when he tells me that he needs help because he’s quitting his job – not getting fired – quitting. I asked him who the next employer is that he has lined up. None. I ask why he is quitting. He says “I don’t know, welding is just a dangerous job… so I kinda just want to make music or something.” On top of that, he’s moving to an area that will be 3x more expensive.

      *Facepalm* Really??

      He gets mad when I tell him he needs to get a job and have at least ~$10K/year in gross income to get subsidies for insurance – even though these systems were set up for people that *can’t* afford insurance – not for people that just don’t *feel* like working the jobs that are available to them.

      I like him in a lot of other ways, but jesus some people in my generation are fucking lazy, entitled and retarded.

      1. He is walking away from welding? I thought it was one of the more profitable trades?

        1. I don’t know how far he got into it. He might just be an apprentice or something at this point. Given the fact that he’s randomly leaving his job, without a plan, to basically do nothing kinda makes me feel like he might not have had the drive to put the work into becoming an expert welder.

          1. In reality, there are only 2 classes of people: Motivated, and Unmotivated.

        2. Surprisingly, basic garden-variety welding doesn’t pay that much. Same as a basic laborer, even though it requires special certification. Enough people *enjoy* welding, that it doesn’t really pay.

          1. Maybe it’s specialty welding. I heard Mike Rowe talk about some young guy writing his own ticket welding.

            1. iirc that guy was working out in the Oil Fields in the Dakotas where there is a critical shortage of workers with skillsets like that.

              However a guy like the one being talked about here sounds like he’s looking for something a little more cushy in a factory assembly line

      2. Tell him to enjoy his Medicaid. I’m sure Dr. Nick Riviera learned to be a great doctor at the upstairs medical college of Guadalajara.

        1. My state didn’t expand Medicaid.

          1. Well then. He’ll be paying cash to Dr. Nick.

        2. It is known that Dr. Nick attended Hollywood Upstairs Medical College.

          1. I didn’t have time to look it up.

            But Dr. Nick is real and owns a practice in LA.

      3. some people in my EVERY generation are fucking lazy, entitled and retarded

        1. This is a valid point, but I’m talking about *my* generation, so please step out of my safe place, thank you.

          1. THE ONLY TRUELY SAFE SPACE IS A CASKET.

      4. Rufus sees a lot of pain and crying in the future.

        1. $600,000 worth of heroin found in Canadian convenience store childcare

          Have you been bad, Rufus?

          1. /lowers head.

            1. Keith Richards Kindergarten.

          2. How else are you gonna get them to sleep?

    2. These masturbation euphemisms are getting pretty abstract.

  18. Migrant ‘paedophile’ is dragged through refugee camp after he is accused of raping a seven-year-old girlbefore being handed over to police on Greece’s Macedonia border
    Migrants pictured dragging away a man in beige jumper, camouflage shorts
    The man was accused of sexually assaulting little girl in the Idomeni camp
    Photographer could not confirm if girl in one of the images was the victim
    Around 14,000 migrants live in Idomeni camp on Greece-Macedonia border

    1. The guy picked the wrong place to do it, in Germany he would have just been released and the crime ignored.

      1. Migrants: doing the jobs Europeans won’t do.

    2. paying the price for progress…paying and paying and paying.

    3. So a refugee scumbag assaults refugee girl and, for once, other refugees do the right thing and turn the guy over to the police.

  19. “Voters are rarely wise but are usually sensible. ”

    I don’t speak Brooksinian. Can someone explain this to me?

    1. Sheesh, Rufus — it’s a common sense expression.

    2. Translation “Derp Derp Cocktail Derp”.

    3. My translation : “I’m supposed to say something deeply insightful here. But I got nothing. So suck on this”

    4. I don’t speak Brooksinian. Can someone explain this to me?

      It’s Brooks being insufficiently aroused by the crease in Mr. Trumps trousers.

    5. Translation: The voter voted the wrong way.

  20. Sausage Party – Official Red Band Trailer

    Sausage Party, the first R-rated CG animated movie, is about one sausage leading a group of supermarket products on a quest to discover the truth about their existence and what really happens when they become chosen to leave the grocery store
    .

    What is wrong with you people?

    1. These are probably the same sickos who defiled Erin Esurance

      http://www.cbsnews.com/news/es…..f-her-own/

      1. Erin Esurance. Loved that pink hair. Does the carpet match the curtains?

        1. I don’t think so.

        2. Wood floors. Newly waxed.

      2. This is why we can’t have nice things.

    2. What do you mean, “you people”?

    3. That hot dog bun looks like a vagina!

  21. Chelsea Clinton reveals her mom thinks it is ‘important’ to extend Obamacare to illegal aliens
    …CLINTON: “It’s such an important question. Thank you for supporting my mom. My mom has very strong feelings that we must push as quickly as possible for comprehensive immigration reform, and this is a real difference between her’s and Senator Sanders’ record, she supported comprehensive immigration reform at every possible chance and she was one of the original supporters and sponsors of the DREAM Act. She does not believe that while we are working towards comprehensive immigration reform we should make people wait, like the families you are talking about. Which is why she thinks it’s so important to extend the Affordable Care Act to people who are living and working here, regardless of immigration status, regardless of citizenship status.

    1. “She does not believe … we should make people wait”?

      WTF?

    2. Unfortunately (for her) aliens can’t vote. The only POSSIBLE way I see Hillary being elected is if Trump is the GOP pick. And even that is very iffy.

    3. Yes, just tell undocumented workers to enroll in a centralized bureaucratic program. Should work.

    4. The Democrats are finally realizing that Obamacare is going to make things worse for illegal immigrants.

  22. Bay Area/SF Reasonoids: If you’re a lawyer or know a lawyer who can spare a bit of time to do a good work

    Proposition 47 changes some low-level, nonviolent crimes from felonies to misdemeanors, lifting the burden and stigma of a felony conviction for millions of Californians. It’s fully retroactive, but only until November 2017 and requires the potential beneficiaries to complete a complicated and exacting process. (Look at the attached infographic to see how complicated it is!)

    Episcopal Charities and the Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights have created a system of workshops, underwritten by Episcopal Charities, to walk the beneficiaries through the process. We need volunteer lawyers to be trained and supervised by the Lawyers’ Committee to staff these workshops. Would you be interested being one of those crucial volunteer lawyers?

    The first date is April 16 starting at 10am. Information flier with contact info HERE (sorry, it’s a pdf linked on dropbox).

    1. Trying to get your felony knocked down to a misdemeanor? :-p

      1. Exactly!

        A friend of mine works for the church and was putting the word out. I think helping people take advantage of retroactive sentencing reform so that they can help themselves rather than re-offend or rely on the state is a legitimately good work that the folks who frequent this site would be into.

  23. “Donald Trump is epically unprepared to be president. He has no realistic policies, no advisers, no capacity to learn. His vast narcissism makes him a closed fortress. He doesn’t know what he doesn’t know and he’s uninterested in finding out. He insults the office Abraham Lincoln once occupied by running for it with less preparation than most of us would undertake to buy a sofa.”

    Hm. Sounds like someone we know.

    1. That is just David Brooks’ way of saying Trump uses a terrible dry cleaning service.

    2. “She insults the bedroom Abraham Lincoln once occupied ….”

    3. no capacity to learn.

      This is untrue. I am no Trump fan, but at the very least, I’ll admit that he is a lot more clever than I thought he was, and he is very fast-learning and adaptive.

      1. That is animal cunning, not learning.

    4. Frank Underwood?

    5. Donald Trump is epically unprepared to be president. He has no realistic policies, no advisers, no capacity to learn.

      Of course, Brooks couldn’t be bothered to actually use any data to support these claims. I didn’t vote for Trump, and don’t think he’d be a great Preezy, but I don’t think he has a giant deficit of experience, nor do I think he doesn’t take advice seriously. It’s well documented about how he seeks out stakeholder’s opinions and advice in his business dealings.

      You would think if we such a horrible monster of a man, that many, many former employees would be out in the media talking about how despicable he is. But I don’t see nor hear too many.

  24. Boobs are big business for Russian messaging startup Tittygram

    The service, launched in spring 2015, allows customers to send a virtual card with a greeting or any other message written on a chest, male or female

    1. Russia is a fucked up place, but bozhye moi, i love it.

  25. Dad: 1, Common Core: 0.

    Seems legit.

  26. Trump Supporters Are Pleasant People

    Part I

    Part II

    This is pretty much my experience with every hardcore Trump fan on social media.

    1. Those seem pretty tame for that crowd tbh.

    2. 1. Christ, his handle is “came from empires”

      2. Nice to see that he’s backed up by someone using Frederick Douglass’s name.

  27. Makeup: how the fuck does it work?

    1. Ugh, men

      1. Can’t live with em, can’t live with em!

        1. Did you hear they can do brain transplants now? Yeah. You can get a woman’s brain for $7000 and a man’s brain for $10000. Why the price difference? The man’s brain has never been used.

          Tip your waitress…

            1. Years ago while trying to talk someone into having sex in a way that’d get me arrested on a college campus these days, I joked “Just the tip?” And he returned “I prefer just the shaft, that way everyone gets what they really want.”

              And then he consented and we boned.

              1. QUIT SHOVING YOUR GAY STORIES DOWN OUR THROATS

                1. *wiggles eyebrows lasciviously*

              2. Not joking about it is the best way to elicit a drunk, pity handjob. Sure, what little respect she had for you has disappeared, and sure, she wakes up the next morning feeling a sense of juvenile shame, but a handie is a handie.

                1. That’s one way out of the friend zone.

          1. I’ll give the veal a tip…wait, what?

          2. Mr x: Did you hear they sell brains by the pound on Amazon? German brains $10/lb. Italian brains $50/lb Polish brains $100,000/lb

            Ms Y: Why are Polish brains so expensive?

            Mr x: Do you know how many Poles it takes to get a pound of brains?

            1. I hate that I chuckled at this.

              1. Mr X: Why did they invent the wheelbarrow?

                Ms Y; I dunno

                Mr X: To teach the Polacks to walk on their hind legs

          3. Isn’t that really a body transplant?

      1. “Women will like what I tell them to like!”

    2. Makeup: how the fuck does it work?

      *patiently waits for explanation*

      1. The gist of that article seems to be that women should never go outside without their clown-face on, and men don’t really look at a woman’s face anyway.

        1. Not sure if srs…

          1. With Bobarian the answer is probably no.

        2. I just like that those dorks had the spotlight put on them when they were trying to mawkishly signal women who undoubtedly not interested in them.

          “awwww, Crusty likes natural beauty! He is the best!”

    3. I don’t know what makeup is. I don’t wanna know what makeup is.

      1. Can you even see it through the brown paper bag?

        1. Dammit, I passed on a paper bag joke because I couldn’t get it right…

    4. Wait till they find out about Photoshop

    5. I need some womansplainin’ about the thesis of that article.

      1. Basically women are tricksy

        1. I thought it was “dudes can be retarded.”

          1. I was trying to be coy about it, but yes

            1. Don’t make me explain bras to you again.

            2. Those god damn yoga pants.

        2. I thought that was hobbits.

        3. Tricksier than hobbitses?

          1. Wicked. Tricksy. False!

      1. She looks pretty good for a chick not wearing any makeup.

    6. I think it boils down to: if there is a visible ‘imperfection,’ then they must not be wearing make-up.

      1. The actual thing seems to be lip color. Lack of bold lip equals no makeup.

        1. Yeah, like lighter shades of lipstick or lip gloss been invented. Get the fuck out of here with your futuristic mind games.

    7. Buzzfeed links? You are the worst.

  28. More Brooks: “Trump is perhaps the most dishonest person to run for high office in our lifetimes. All politicians stretch the truth, but Trump has a steady obliviousness to accuracy.”

    Really? More dishonest than Hillary?

    This guy.

    1. What amazes me is that Brooks says things like that thinking people actually believe him. And notice, he doesn’t give a single concrete example. You would think it wouldn’t be hard to give some amazing and shocking lie in describing the biggest liar in the history of American politics. David must just be going easy on the Donald or something.

      1. It is a NY Times op-ed. No one has done due diligence for one of those in half a century.

    2. David Brooks should find a career more suited to his intellect, like a popcorn seller, or a clown.

      1. It takes real savvy to run a popcorn business and even getting admitted to clown college is very difficult much less graduate. David needs to aim lower.

      2. And let him ruin my popcorn!? The hell is wrong with you?

      3. I see him more as a ball-gag model.

    3. At least Trump is honest about his dishonesty.

    4. In order to lie, you have so say something that is falsifiable.

      So Trump is probably one of the more honest politicians, really.

    5. The difference is that Trump doesn’t GAF. Hillary is a somewhat crafty liar. Trump openly bullshits without even trying. Hell, it’s like he wants everyone, no matter how stupid, to pick up on his dishonesty. If politicians were a race, Trump would be running a minstrel show.

      1. and people love it and trump is winning despite the pants shitting. I don’t like Trump but he’s playing these idiots, it’s confounding really.

  29. Immigration: the mother of all issues
    …When politicians want to import tens of millions of new immigrants it can look like Washington is trying to remake the electorate. This isn’t pure fantasy. In 1996, Bill Clinton’s White House instructed the Immigration and Naturalization Service “to streamline the naturalization process and greatly increase naturalizations during 1996.” Sure enough, Hispanics more than doubled as a portion of the electorate for Clinton’s 1996 reelection, according to exit polls.

    Conservatives won’t win any fights ? over guns, marriage, taxes, spending, health care, or anything ? if the U.S. electorate is remade in the image of California….

  30. Trump adviser says riots aren’t violence.

    If you go quote-mining through completely partisan interviews where interrogators are asking loaded questions, you’re sure to find an endless supply of meaningless quotes like that.

    It doesn’t make Trump or his ilk any less stupid. But it makes the journalists flogging this stuff look just as bad.

    1. Threatening a riot is totally unprecedented. right?

      http://twitchy.com/2012/11/02/…..t-threats/

      1. But even Obama wasn’t dumb enough to say that stuff himself, he let some of his supporters do it.

        1. The fact that everyone in the country expected riots if Obama lost makes all of the pearl clutching over this ring a bit hollow.

          1. The fact is, I’m *also* against those black ministers and “community leaders” who, after some police shooting, issue “calls for calm” which amount to “don’t riot, I’m sure the cop will get convicted.”

            1. “wink, wink, it sure would be unfortunate if he were acquitted or not charged.”

      2. Obama’s supporters said stupid things? OMG NO WAY!!!11!!!!1

        1. It makes the pearl clutching over this sound pretty stupid. The current President’s supporters threatened to riot if he lost. Given that, how is this guy pointing out what he thinks to be the truth such a big deal?

      3. As i said, its fucking stupid.

        The CNN interviewer there was jabbing at someone trying to get them to say something about other people’s “accusations”. He just said, “i don’t think its what you think it is” (in so many words) – basically, an attempt to simply pass on the subject.

        Its latching onto a sequence of words that had no meaning at all in context. The journalists ‘quoting’ him know this but flog it anyway. this is lame even for robby.

    2. According to Maxine Waters, a riot is the “voice of the unheard”.

  31. Sometimes things are true even if Romney and Brooks say they are.

    Trump *has* said horrifying things.

    Two things in particular: (a) advocating war crimes and (b) predicting/wishing for riots if he doesn’t get the nomination.

    Assume I accept his supporters’ explanations for the other stuff, these two items are Very Bad Things, and are enough to warrant opposing him getting nominated.

    1. I would feel a lot better about Brooks and Romney’s condemnation of the war crimes thing if I didn’t know damn well had Romney been elected President he would have just had some hack lawyer torture the law to make whatever he wanted to do not a “war crime”.

      And suppose there really would be riots if he gets robbed and he honestly thinks that, is it your position he should not say anything? If not, why?

      1. Any President who supports war crimes ought to be impeached – but probably won’t be.

        Which is a good reason not to elect them in the first place.

        I didn’t quite understand your question, but if by “not say anything,” you mean “not predict/wish for riots,” then yes, he shouldn’t say it.

        1. Any President who supports war crimes ought to be impeached – but probably won’t be.

          The last three Presidents did just hat. And they were not impeached.

          Which is a good reason not to elect them in the first place.

          Every single candidate running except maybe Garry Johnson would do exactly the same thing.

          And my question is simple. Trump said he thought there would be riots if they screwed him. If he is giving his honest opinion, why do you think he should not have said it? If it is true, should he not say anything? If no, why?

          1. Because it’s a classic “good cop” tactic – “I sure don’t want any riots, but, gosh, I can’t control my followers, they’re so passionate…”

            It’s not neutral sociology, it’s a threat, however swaddled in good cop rhetoric.

            1. And killing terrorists’ relatives is, I think, a step up from what prior presidents have done.

              They at least tortured only people they believed to be *personally guilty* of terrorism – I’m not endorsing that, I’m just saying that going after innocent people ratchets up the horror.

              1. And killing terrorists’ relatives is, I think, a step up from what prior presidents have done.

                Al Awlaki’s son would beg to differ. And ordering the assassination of an American citizen is a hell of a lot worse than killing the family of a foreign terrorist.

                1. OK, fair enough, if that was a targeted killing (I forget).

                  So it’s back to what I said before – a President who commits war crimes isn’t going to be impeached, so it’s best not to put him in the White House in the first place.

                  1. Supposedly, the killing of Al-Awlaki’s son wasn’t targeted but “wrong place wrong time” (according to off-the-record reports). I do not believe there’s ever been an apology issued by anybody (most likely because he was killed by a program that doesn’t officially exist).

                    Also, an apology may actually provide the family the ability to sue the government for wrongful death; we can’t have that, can we?

      2. And suppose there really would be riots if he gets robbed and he honestly thinks that

        Those are two different things, John, and you know it. Trump honestly thinks anything that denies him the nomination – including Ted Cruz winning more votes and delegates than Trump – would be him getting robbed because Trump is insane. But Trump is specifically talking about if he doesn’t get the nomination with a plurality of votes even though that’s the fucking rules. You don’t win the nomination with the biggest plurality, you have to have a majority. THAT’S THE RULE. Trump is pre-emptively warning the GOP that if they follow the rules he can’t be held responsible for his followers rioting over the unfairness inherent in following the rules – because Trump and the Trumpistas don’t care about the rules as long as they win. Trump is specifically demanding the GOP change the rules to benefit him and preparing to pitch a fit about the GOP cheating if they don’t change the rules to benefit Trump. How insane is that? I’ve smacked a three-year old for coming up with less stupid spoiled-brat arguments than that.

        1. (are you by any chance a Trump supporter?)

          1. I criticize black rioters and get called a racist.

            Now I criticize possible white riots and get called a cuck.

            It’s almost like you can’t win with the sort of irrational people who are sympathetic to rioters.

            1. That’s MJ Green, I’m assuming he was being ironic with you.

              1. I thought you had Eddie filtered.

                Are you guys a couple now?

              2. That’s MJ Green, I’m assuming he was being ironic with you.

                Much like Los Doyers, MJ Green is a well-known millennial troll. Stay clear.

                1. You take that back! I am not well-known.

                  *secretly cries a tear of joy*

                2. Not all us millennials can make $2,000 a week changing our handles from our laptops.

                  1. Your laptop has a handle?

                    Mine came with a bag.

            2. Yowza, sorry Chesterton, shoulda responded earlier. Just funnin’ ya.

    2. Americans riot in support of oppressed billionaire. Hmm…

    1. I’m not sure I really want to see a two-nosed dog.

    2. *thinks* It’s a tough one, but kill it with fire, to be safe.

      1. How does he smell? Terrible.

  32. I really want the Republican Establishment to simply rewrite the rules before the first ballot in Cleveland to deny Trump his majority (totally possible; it’s not likely Trump’s delegates will actually be loyal to him).

    1. Not because I care all that much. Just for the lolz.

      1. It would be the end of the GOP. At lest 40% of their voters would walk out and refuse to vote for any candidate. The resulting Democratic landslide in November would be epic. If you buy into the whole “burn it down and build something new” theory of political renewal, that may be the country’s best hope.

        1. I don’t mind the GOP imploding, but I really don’t want to live under a Hillary administration

          1. It wouldn’t be good. But it would also cause the Democrats to implode pretty quickly. With no Republicans around to blame, they would very quickly turn on each other. The whole thing would end in a giant pile of criminality, theft and sanctimony.

            1. In fairness, neither of the Parties can exist in their current form without the other and America’s governmental structures could also be weakened as many political institutions and “independent” regulatory bodies have been designed with the duopoly in mind.

          2. I really don’t want to live under a Hillary administration

            I am sure she could arrange something.

            1. I’ll just wear uggs, so she’ll feel sorry for me as a fellow becankled one and let me live

          3. Hilary is going to jail, if her sins are ignored there is no hope…

  33. Mandatory, pop-over, auto-play ads – not cool, Reason.

  34. Great job Michigan State.

    1. Man does the Big 10 suck. First Purdue and now this.

      1. The B1G has been infatuated with post play this year (refs and all), and the tourney refs have been infatuated with letting the 5s get mugged without calling anything.

        When you have 3 players (Purdue) that are bigger than your largest opponent, you should probably be able to overwhelm them with your size. Instead, they lost their way and started swatting at the flies.

        The B1G refs need to start calling games closer to the way they’re called in the tourney. There’s no point in prepping all the teams for one style of officiating, only to have it turn a 180 during the tourney.

    2. Wow

    1. “As a programmer, it’s an easy decision, people watch it,” said one producer. “As an American, I’m sort of troubled by it, because I feel like we contribute to it.”

      But enough about “America’s Funniest Videos”.

    2. YEAH BUT WHAT ABOUT HILLARY?

    3. Somebody is voting with her vagina.

      1. pics or it didn’t happen

        1. The old fashioned way: Pulling the lever.

          Maybe there are ping pong balls involved.

          1. Is that you, Nick Perry?

    4. Was that story under LOL or OMG?

      1. I think it was SMH

    1. where U.S. President Barack Obama, his wife and first lady Michelle Obama, their two daughters Malia and Sasha and the first lady’s mother Marian Robinson are scheduled to stay

      Does he have to take the whole family? This is definitely not a business trip. He should pay the expenses from his salary.

      And the MIL? WTF?

  35. Re: Riots — it would be great of a Trump flack wen ton TV and said, well, you know, A riot is the language of the unheard.

    1. That is what these people don’t get. The media spent all last year excusing and cheering on the rioters in Baltimore and St. Louis. It is a bit rich for them now to hit the fainting couch over this. And here is what Obama had to say about actual riots in Ferguson. He said this before the UN by the way

      I realize that America’s critics will be quick to point out that at times we too have failed to live up to our ideals; that America has plenty of problems within its own borders. This is true. In a summer marked by instability in the Middle East and Eastern Europe, I know the world also took notice of the small American city of Ferguson, Missouri ? where a young man was killed, and a community was divided. So, yes, we have our own racial and ethnic tensions.

      He compared them to people rebelling against dictatorships in the Middle East. And now these ass clowns want people to care about some Trump aid saying riots might happen?

      1. Where’s the button I press for “ALL THE RIOTERS AND POTENTIAL RIOTERS ARE WRONG”?

        1. What about Quiet Riot ? (find your own links)

      2. That is what these people don’t get. The media spent all last year excusing and cheering on the rioters in Baltimore and St. Louis.

        What? Bullshit. Outside of the small number of usual suspects on the fringe left, this “excusing and cheering on” happened only in your head.

        1. Oh really? I guess you think this is okay?

          Chris Cuomo, CNN: As John Nolte pointed out earlier today, Cuomo warned protesters last night that the police were out to get them. When Cuomo spotted some protesters coming down the street, he accosted them: “They’re walking toward the cops. You know walking towards the cops in the middle of the street, they’re going to come at you.” When a protester said, “We’re going home,” Cuomo then added, “Just be careful, cuz you know how they are? if you seem like you’re being provocative towards them, you know how things can go.” Clearly, Cuomo knows the perils of the police, and he’s willing to reinforce those perils to people who already believe the police are the problem.

          or this

          Brooke Baldwin, CNN: Baldwin felt the need to blame veterans for the situation in Baltimore on Tuesday, stating, “A lot of these young people, and I love our nation’s veterans, but some of them are coming back from war and they are ready to do battle.” Cummings agreed with Baldwin ? the problems between cops and Baltimore residents could be laid at the feet of mistrained Rambo-like veterans looking to harm poor black folks. Baldwin later apologized ? sort of.

          1. The Cuomo quote sounds like he’s condoning police brutality.

        2. And the Trumpkins all condemned it.

          1. I guess they know better now Nikki. And you do realize how funny it is to listen to a self described anarchist get her sanctimony on over rioting?

            1. Where did I do that?

          2. Go back to throwing pipe-bombs, you anarchist.

        3. Or this

          Ta-Nehisi Coates, The Atlantic: The national correspondent for The Atlantic called for violence against police, writing:

          When nonviolence is preached as an attempt to evade the repercussions of political brutality, it betrays itself. When nonviolence begins halfway through the war with the aggressor calling time out, it exposes itself as a ruse. When nonviolence is preached by the representatives of the state, while the state doles out heaps of violence to its citizens, it reveals itself to be a con. And none of this can mean that rioting or violence is “correct” or “wise,” any more than a forest fire can be “correct” or “wise.” Wisdom isn’t the point tonight. Disrespect is. In this case, disrespect for the hollow law and failed order that so regularly disrespects the community.

          Is CNN and the Atlantic not media in your view or do you agree with these thoughts?

          1. Of the three quotes you just posted (none of which are sourced, I can’t help noticing), the first I would not describe as either excusing or cheering on, the second I can’t even parse the meaning of–the first part of the quote makes it sound like Baldwin is saying that the protesters are young veterans, then Cummings flips it around and implies that that’s what the cops are? It’s a confusing quote–and an op-ed by Coates would fall squarely under my “usual suspects on the fringe left” caveat.

          2. Two observations:

            1. Your first sentence is not supported by the paragraph that follows it. Anyone who thinks that a person who describes riots as being neither wise nor correct is “calling for violence” is illiterate.

            2. This, and all of your other examples, are cribbed from a Breitbart.com post without attribution. Which explains the lousy quality of the examples.

        4. Or how about this Android?

          Stacey Patton, Washington Post: Patton, a senior enterprise reporter for the Chronicle of Higher Education and adjunct professor at American University, wrote on Thursday about the case of Toya Graham, the single mother caught on tape slapping her son silly after finding him throwing rocks at police. She didn’t critique Graham for the slapping on its own merits; she didn’t wonder where Graham was for the 15 years prior to finding her son chucking blunt objects at law enforcement officers. Instead, she blamed white supremacy, and then suggested that Graham had “lynched” her own son publicly:

          Graham’s message to America is: I will teach my black son not to resist white supremacy so he can live? While Graham did not literally lynch her son Michael, she metaphorically strung him up for the world to see ? in hopes of keeping him alive.

    2. A riot is the language of the unheard.

      GODDAMNIT!

      1. A quiet riot?

        I will not link to that cheesy fucking music.

        1. We’re not going to take it, anymore.

    1. That bird had more rights than you or I do.

      FUCK YEAH

    2. but habitat protection and the banning of the pesticide DDT led to its recovery.

      1. 20 million dead africans beg to differ….but Rachel Carson wasn’t a racist.

        Progtard.

  36. Twitter has its safety council or whatever.

    Facebook is doing this.

    Fuck them both.

  37. Fun Friday OT, I’ve been playing The Division and aside from a few early release bugs, I’m enjoying it quite a bit, and I’d say it comes close enough to the hype to merit an excellent rating.

    I modeled my character after Xzibit.

        1. Fastest rapper east of the Mississippi!

  38. “It’s expensive, but not as expensive as an aircraft carrier,” [said America’s chief diplomat in Cuba from 2011 to 2014.]

    This is why diplomats get paid the big bucks.

    1. Just hovering over the link made me laugh.

    2. http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/…..-1.3496761

      I cry.

      1. That is indeed pretty yucky. Its like they seem to be looking ways to police young kids in new and innovative ways, lacking actual charges or damages that would justify anyone getting sued.

      2. unfuckingbelievable

    3. Yeah, shooting and stabbing soldiers is laugh riot up here.

      1. #CanukLivesMatter

  39. Is no one going to remark on the appearance of that Trump staffer? Our is even reason too politically correct to make fun of fat people now.

    1. After 2016, Hillary will be The Man.

      1. I don’t like pantsuits, I’m fucked.

    2. That wasn’t a riot, you racist, it was a social-justice protest!

      /sarc

  40. There is a famous story about there being 3 listings in the NYT, saying that a homeless man had died on the sidewalk, a subway worker had been killed on the traintracks, and that a dog had been killed by a taxi…

    …and the paper received 1000 calls about the dog, a dozen for the subway worker, and the homeless man none.

    I was reminded of that in this headline =

    NY foster parent charged with sexually abusing boys, dog

    …because all i could think was, “If there were no dog, no one would care”

    1. I’m not really a nice person…one of my first thoughts was “how can I work in a joke about the two-nosed dog?”

    2. Female dog? At least it wasn’t gay.

      1. At least it wasn’t gay.

        well he also molested seven boys. but yeah, at least he wasn’t gay *with the dog*

        the extra Nut-Punch detail?

        Suffolk County District Attorney Thomas Spota told The Associated Press that Gonzalez-Mugaburu earned as much as $18,000 a month as a foster parent for the children.

        taxpayer money

        1. That shouldn’t be the nut punch, but it is.

          I mean, I’m sorry that some kids and a dog got molested, but 18k a month? God damn!

        2. Is it just me or do a disproportionate number of these types of stories turn out to be foster parents

  41. Hey, how about more of Canada’s Moment of Liberaltarianism, as presented by PM Zoolander? Here is the dispassionate analysis our State Broadcaster is know for:

    Five days ahead of his government’s first budget, seated before a business crowd in midtown Manhattan, Justin Trudeau was asked whether it was a deficit that had put him in that spot. And he was only too proud to confirm that it was.

    There followed a meditation on leadership: “I think people look for leadership, and define it many times, as when someone says something that they disagree with, but that they suspect is probably right. I mean, as a leader, I look for opportunities to challenge folks.”
    ….
    . Under the headline “Canada’s New Hope,” Michael Bloomberg, the man who recently declined to play the centrist saviour of American politics, likened Trudeau to John F. Kennedy and hailed him as a forward-thinking leader set to make smart investments in infrastructure and greening the Canadian economy.

    Fuck me, it’s gonna be 10+ years of this gaping asshole.

    1. “I think people look for leadership, and define it many times, as when someone says something that they disagree with, but that they suspect is probably right. I mean, as a leader, I look for opportunities to challenge folks.”

      I read this three times. I got nothin’.

      1. “I am a right-thinking aristocrat, and peasants respect that, even if they don’t understand anything. They like to know their squire knows what’s good for them.”

    2. Someone needs to start a quote page and title it “Trudeau or George W. Bush”

    3. Oh, whoops, did not provide the link, because above is just a sampler of delights.

      1. I thought the first fucking trudeau was the worst of a continuous line of shitty pm’s…. this little cocksucker is going to a disaster

        1. …going to be a disaster

    4. Wow. You know, at least the Pravda guys had the excuse that they and their families would all end up in the Lubyanka if their boot-licking was insufficiently vigorous. I can’t imagine the mindset of someone who would choose to be so abjectly servile.

    5. “Canada’s New Hope”

      So Bloomberg saw the original Star Wars and thought the guy in the armor was the hero?

    6. Michael Bloomberg, the man who recently declined to play the centrist saviour of American politics, likened Trudeau to John F. Kennedy

      Maybe JFK on Nov 23, 1963.

    7. Jesus fucking Christ Bloomberg is an idiot.

    8. I can only hope his upcoming tax bill will disabuse people of the notion of voting for these fools again… a tiny hope like the dying flame of a cheap walmart candle…

  42. That “common core” link has nothing to do with the common core. Plus, while the student gave a clever answer, it’s still wrong.

    1. Yeah, if we’re going to go there there are likely many other technicalities we can bend to get even bigger numbers. Besides 999!, we havent explored other bases how about the we do what she did with the biggest single digit in base 9 ^(9^9) or ln(.009).

      The girl deserves a cookie for thinking outside the box but the self righteous nature of dad is unwarranted.

    2. fuck off. troll, your response is hilarious.

      you are not at salon where morons like you congregate.

      you have no chance here, so stfu.

  43. David Brooks goes full #NeverTrump.

    Fucking epic pearl clutching. Those things will turn to diamonds.

  44. Wife and husband each shoot escaped murder suspect

    “”Police say a wife and then a husband each shot an escaped murder suspect after he broke into their Mississippi home and held them hostage.

    Vicksburg Police Capt. Sandra Williams said that Rafael McCloud confronted a 30-year-old man and his 5-year-old son with a knife as they entered their garage about 4 a.m. Thursday. McCloud forced them back inside and held the man, his 24-year-old wife and son in a bathroom.

    Williams says McCloud allowed the wife to leave the bathroom and she returned with a family handgun, shooting McCloud. She cut loose her tied-up husband, who then shot McCloud multiple times.“”

    1. The family that slays together, stays together?

      1. I spent a few minutes trying to come up with something like that and was totally dry. don’t know how i missed it.

    2. “Gun-happy couple thwarts police attempts to return escapee to prison.”

      1. Change the last part to ‘reform disenfranchised young man’.

      2. i chuckled..

    3. This, um, seems kinda like murder. I don’t see how the husband’s shots could’ve been necessary.

      1. i assume it was a “you had to be there” thing

      2. Some guys need killing.

        You break into my home, threaten my wife and kid, and tie me up? Your life is officially forfeit at that point.

        As a wise man once said “Don’t start nothing, won’t be nothing.”

      3. fuck off..

    1. Do we have a response from Ohio man yet

      1. Police: Man shoots, kills dog after losing $5 in card game

        LORAIN, Ohio — A man faces several charges after reportedly shooting and killing a dog over losing $5 at a card game, police say.

        Ricardo Johnson, 30, faces charges of aggravated menacing, weapons under disability, child endangerment, discharge of firearm on prohibited premises and prohibitions concerning companion animals.

        1. Cops kill what, 250,000 dogs a year, this guy shoots one dog after losing a bet and everyone throws a hissy-fit.

    2. One woman had reportedly told Todd not to speed in his Dodge Ram 1500. Officials say he responded with an expletive, and the woman called him a racial slur.

      Woman: “Hey you! You racial slur!!”

  45. A man faces several charges after reportedly shooting and killing a dog over losing $5 at a card game, police say.

    The dog was a card shark? I guess he needed killin’.

    1. What the fuck is wrong everyone?

    2. Earlier in the day, Microsoft held a Xbox Women in Gaming event.

      “…everyone give a big hand to Anita Sarkeesian… that was marvelous…. Now, BRING IN THE WHORES!!”

    3. “Do something well and good once/for one period of time and then avoid doing it well ever again” seems to be Microsoft’s MO. The Xbox was a good system. They aren’t repeating that success again, ever.

      1. They had a string of Windows successes: 3.0, 98, xp, 7, with a bunch of crap in between.

        1. I think 95 was better than 98, personally.

          1. Not in my experience.

    4. They had a St. Patrick’s Day Party, they better balance it out with a Battle of the Boyne Bash on July 12.

      And for entertainment, hire some hot Protestant girls.

      /sarc

  46. Donald Trump Will Get Out The Vote?For Democrats

    “What do we find when we consider the head-to-head polling? McLaughlin says: “Trump?is flat-out lying when he claims to lead Hillary in every poll ? out of 45 [head-to-head] polls in RCP’s database, Trump leads Hillary in only 5, is tied in 2 others, and trails in 38 of them?. [And] the evidence we have from the state-level polling is consistent with the national polling?. Trump would enter multiple battleground states polling below 40%, consistent with his massive unfavorables.””

    1. In other news Hillary won the Democrat nomination in 2008.

      1. …what?

  47. This article by Kevin Williamson is one of the best I have ever read. It is almost perfect, and most of it is glorious.

    http://www.nationalreview.com/…..tid=903320

    So the gypsum business in Garbutt ain’t what it used to be. There is more to life in the 21st century than wallboard and cheap sentimentality about how the Man closed the factories down. The truth about these dysfunctional, downscale communities is that they deserve to die.

    1. I haven’t read the whole article and while it is interesting, there’s yet another sliver of something I can take from the whole mood…

      The Democrats and media built up and deified the working class people living in flyover country with their affected love of ‘jes’ folks’, then abandoned them. Either that or they never were really there for them in the first place except to make ‘whistle stops’ and speechify affecting a folksy drawl, then flying back to D.C. and doing what they always did.

      Make of that what you will.

      1. True enough. The Conservative Movement also deified the ‘average joe’ who may not have the degree and edumakashion of those Harvard types, but he has the real wisdom needed to Make America Great Again.

        Reap what you sow.

    2. Immigration does put some downward pressure on wages, but it also puts downward pressure on prices.

      Which the Fed is furiously working to reverse. I’ll stop here.

    3. Some of the brighter commenters here already hit on that one about a week ago, and the discussion was as intelligent and enlightening as it was notable by your absence.

      Also, you might want to pick between your adulation of 6th grade educated central Americans and illiterate goat herders from the countries being bombed into oblivion to your unending delight and your disdain for blue collar jobs and the communities surrounding them. The incongruity makes you look even dumber than you actually are.

      1. “the discussion was as intelligent and enlightening as it was notable by your absence.”

        So IOW it wasn’t very intelligent or enlightening. I know. I am pretty John was there. I saw some of it.

        “The incongruity makes you look even dumber than you actually are.”

        The fact that you think there is an incongruity between admiration for people who cross borders in pursuit of a better life and contempt for racist fatasses with a martyr complexes demonstrates that you’re a moron typical of the Hit&Runpublican; set around here.

  48. So Romney is campaigning for Trump?

    Trump!

    For the LULZ

  49. Trump adviser says riots aren’t violence.

    Wasn’t that Reason’s position not too long ago?

  50. Pretty sure 999! is bigger than 9^(9^9)

    1. not even close.
      9^9^9 = 4.281248126705713 ? 10^369693099
      999! = 6.404192147858387 ? 10^2566

  51. I’ll just leave this here: http://www.phillyvoice.com/nj-…..e-walking/

  52. Dunno if it’s just me–and I forever swore off voting Republican in 1982–but Romney and Cruz make The Don seem balanced, competent and sane compared to themselves. Can you imagine four forking years of listening to Ted Cruz bleating into a microphone? Thank Bob canooks cannot hold that office, but do tell Canada we’ll trade for Trudeau.

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