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Free-Range Kids

Police Looking for Suspects Who Challenged Teens to a Rap Battle. That's It.

Quite the close call, said no one.

Lenore Skenazy | 3.16.2016 11:35 AM

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Imagine a world where a brief encounter between young people and strangers does not automatically warrant police involvement—or a news report.

Now imagine you were in central Massachusetts yesterday where the behavior described in the story below—strangers inviting teens to a rap battle—took place, in broad daylight. Would you call the cops? The TV stations? Would you beg "anyone with credible information about the incident" to call, as if there'd been a mugging, or murder?

The 2016 answer is yes, as this story from WCVB attests. I'm reprinting it in its entirety in case you might otherwise assume I'm leaving out some salient details, like, "all the young men had guns," or, "a small amount of heroin exchanged hands," or even, "the driver appeared to be Kanye West."

BOSTON —Police in central Massachusetts are warning residents to be on the lookout for men who may be challenging passersby to a rap battle.

Charlton police said a black SUV with two or three men in their late teens or early 20s inside, pulled up to three young teenage boys on Dresser Hill Road at about 3 p.m. on Saturday.

One of the men — described as having brown hair and a pale complexion, wearing a gray T-shirt, gray pants and open-toed sandals — got out of the vehicle and started rapping while the other men asked the boys if they wanted to "spit some bars" with them.

When the boys declined, the SUV drove off.

"Although this was suspicious behavior and frightening to the boys, nothing made this appear to be an attempted abduction," Charlton police posted on Facebook.

Anyone with credible information about the incident is asked to call 508-248-2250.

Phew! That was a close one. Certainly the last thing we want to see kids doing is bursting into song.

So, Charlton citizens, you've been warned: Suspiciously musical young men are out there. Let's bring them in for questioning, before they become a one-van rhyme wave.

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NEXT: Feds Say You Are Now Free to Smoke Cubans Outside the U.S.

Lenore Skenazy is president of Let Grow, a nonprofit promoting childhood independence and resilience, and founder of the Free-Range Kids movement.

Free-Range KidsParenting
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  1. Free Market Socialist $park?   9 years ago

    Well done, Lenore. Someone should be along with a narrowed gaze soon enough.

  2. Mainer2   9 years ago

    But, but....imagine what Could have happened.

    1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

      They could have got served! SERVED.

      1. Adans smith   9 years ago

        'It's Butters' 'That's me!'

      2. Hugh Akston   9 years ago

        That's why they need the cops to assure people that it's not on, nothing is on, it's off.

        1. HeteroPatriarch   9 years ago

          Hold on a second, clam-head! You think you can just roll in here and tell us it's not on when it very clearly is on?!

  3. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

    "Lock them up and throw away the key!"

    /Judge "moderate" Merrick

  4. Mainer2   9 years ago

    You know who else wore open toed sandals.

    1. Zeb   9 years ago

      Everyone who has ever worn sandals?

      1. Mainer2   9 years ago

        +1 pair of assless chaps

    2. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

      Surf nazis?

      1. Entelechy   9 years ago

        Hamilton rip-off rappers on the lam from Times Square
        Be dueling and fooling the bros up in Ayer

    3. Citizen X   9 years ago

      Jesus?

      1. HeteroPatriarch   9 years ago

        Nah, he was a Five Fingers guy.

        1. HeteroPatriarch   9 years ago

          Dammit.

          http://us.vibram.com/homepage

    4. Trials and Trippelations   9 years ago

      Caesar?

  5. Antisocialist   9 years ago

    Panic!!

    1. Rhywun   9 years ago

      Hang the MC, Hang the MC, Hang the MC

  6. DaveH   9 years ago

    Along with 101% of everything else we're reading in the news, this is a joke, right?

    Right?

    Right?

  7. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

    One of the men ? described as having brown hair and a pale complexion, wearing a gray T-shirt, gray pants and open-toed sandals

    It's obviously Mark Zuckerberg.

  8. Agile Cyborg   9 years ago

    Niggers and their drive-by poetry. Fucking punk-asses.

    1. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

      I much prefer your poetry.

      1. Agile Cyborg   9 years ago

        It's all mindless bluster... wait- fuck! Bluster of the lower-case 'b' grade.

        1. Agammamon   9 years ago

          So, you're saying its *juvenile bluster*?

    2. Millennial Hipster Vanguard   9 years ago

      One of the men ? described as having brown hair and a pale complexion

      I think you mean naggers.

      1. Mainer2   9 years ago

        Sand naggers ?

  9. Francisco d'Anconia   9 years ago

    There's gonna be trouble.

    1. Free Market Socialist $park?   9 years ago

      With a capital T and that rhymes with B and that stands for Blacks.

      1. Ship of Theseus   9 years ago

        *fast clap*

      2. Ship of Theseus   9 years ago

        *fast clap*

  10. Jerryskids   9 years ago

    Jesus Christ, do you people not even know that "spit some bars" is the latest teen slang for shooting up some marijuanas while raping baby kittens? It's like you cats ain't even hep to the lingo these days.

    1. Adans smith   9 years ago

      No,no,no,it's puppies and meth.At least in Florida.

      1. Agammamon   9 years ago

        Yeah, but its *always* meth in Florida.

      2. Rhywun   9 years ago

        What is it in Ohio?

    2. Mainer2   9 years ago

      That's right daddy-o.

    3. HeteroPatriarch   9 years ago

      I thought it was Xanax and Spice.

  11. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

    What's next if this keeps up? Dance-offs? How will our children survive if they get served?

    1. Trials and Trippelations   9 years ago

      A safe space on every corner!

  12. Trials and Trippelations   9 years ago

    I feel more and more that Lenore's articles are the most frightening articles posted on Reason

  13. Adans smith   9 years ago

    Even worse,line dancing could break out.Oh the humanity.

    1. Rhywun   9 years ago

      Or a drum circle.

      *shudder*

  14. Dr. Fronkensteen   9 years ago

    Sure it starts off as a rap battle. But it ends with a shoot out. It's the updated version of West Side Story.

    1. Adans smith   9 years ago

      How the hell do you dance and click your fingers with a Glock in one hand And the other on your crotch?

    2. Ship of Theseus   9 years ago

      Do they tie their wrists together before they blast each other with sideways pistols?

    3. GILMORE?   9 years ago

      I actually once nearly started a riot at an *ultimate frisbee* match by making a West Side Story reference.

      true story.

      1. Citizen X   9 years ago

        That is the whitest thing i have ever heard.

        1. GILMORE?   9 years ago

          Actually 80% of the kids there were Asian, so yes = it was indeed the whitest thing ever.

      2. Mainer2   9 years ago

        West Side Story is the most unrealistic movie ever made. Not because the street gangs dance ballet. It's when the guy runs through Spanish Harlem shouting "Maria! Maria !" and only one girl comes to the window.

  15. Scarecrow & WoodChipper Repair   9 years ago

    one-van rhyme wave

    You know who else tortured us with delightful puns?

    1. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

      The guy who put the "germ" in "Germany"?

      (NSFW)

  16. Glide   9 years ago

    Be honest. You wouldn't have even written this article if it didn't give you a change to include that "rhyme wave" joke.

  17. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    If dey be in yo face, shelter in place.

  18. Scott Lahti   9 years ago

    Thank heaven the police put out an All Poets' Bulletin.

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