Trump, Cruz, Clinton Super Saturday Winners, North Korea Threatens 'Indiscriminate' Nuclear Strikes, Nancy Reagan Dies: A.M. Links

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  • vixyview/flickr

    On Super Saturday Donald Trump won in Kentucky and Louisiana, while Ted Cruz won in Kansas and Maine. Afterward, Trump called on Marco Rubio, who won in Puerto Rico on Sunday, to drop out of the race. Meanwhile Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders met for a Democratic debate in Flint.

  • Former Chicago Bears coach Mike Ditka said in a radio interview that Barack Obama was the worst president ever, and that he would probably vote for Donald Trump.
  • ISIS claimed responsibility for a suicide bombing south of Baghdad that killed at least 47.
  • North Korea threatened "indiscriminate" nuclear strikes against the United States and South Korea after the two countries launched joint military drills.
  • Whole Foods pulled pre-peeled oranges off their shelves after outrage on Twitter. Supporters of the product pointed out it made it easier for the disabled and elderly to consume oranges.
  • Maintenance workers in China found the corpse of a woman in a residential elevator they had shut down over a glitch a month earlier, and will face charges of involuntary manslaughter.
  • Nancy Reagan has died.
  • Season 3 of Rick and Morty will debut later this year and run for 14 episodes.

NEXT: Bernie Sanders Criticizes Lawsuits That Blame Gun Makers for Murder

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  1. Meanwhile Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders met for a Democratic debate in Flint.

    Ageism or sexism. Take your pick.

    1. Hello.

      “Whole Foods pulled pre-peeled oranges off their shelves after outrage on Twitter.”

      Does anyone know how to chill anymore?

      1. You don’t need more than 1 type of orange capitalist!!!1!1111

      2. I just hope they catch the guy that had the gun. You know, the gun that was pointed at their heads and forcing them to buy these peeled oranges.

        1. The gun acted of its own inherently evil volition.

          /prog

      3. Supporters of the product pointed out it made it easier for the disabled and elderly to consume oranges.

        I bet if they had 100% concentration, they could peel an orange.

        1. I wonder if we could teach them to concentrate. Maybe at a camp?

      4. Will anyone react with outrage to pre-cooked bacon ? (not that Whole Foods would carry such a thing).

        1. Never! Aldi carries it, and it is a boon to sandwich making!

          1. Bacon should only be served in its natural wrapper!

            1. Pigskin?

              1. More bacon!

          2. I have yet to see this item at the Aldi where I shop. But buy it, I will.

        2. Not if it comes wrapped in orange peel.

      5. I just read Nathalie Gordon’s twitter account. The indignant moral outrage is retarded and sad at the same time.

        How dare they plastic!

        Someone pointed out it can benefit those who are disabled and have arthritis but was met with a ‘it wasn’t marketed to them!’

        Which of course, only points to the shallowness of their thinking. Let’s concede it wasn’t ‘marketed’ to them. If they derive benefit from it, what fricken business is it – outside being regressive anti-Luddites who don’t know how to fricken chill out and move on to the next item or aisle – of these self-appointed protectors of all things civil and Gaia to make such a stink?

        1. She sounds like a real twunt.

        2. Ah, the plastic was the problem. Do they realize that oranges are grown and transported using machines that burn lots of diesel? Probably far more oil than what goes into the tiny bit of plastic wrap. Assuming it’s not wrapped in cellophane or some plant based plastic.

      6. Pre-peeled oranges sounds pretty dumb to me. But “outrage”? What the hell is wrong with people?

        1. This is exactly the political bullshit I was bitching about last night that is ruining the food industry – what in the flying fuck is wrong with making shit more convenient for people?! I guarantee you some snob on Top Chef turned up their nose at this product (they do all their shopping at Whole Foods) and it got on camera.

          My supermarket sells packaged, cut pineapple – am I supposed to buy that whole and cut it myself too? Fuck that.

          1. I prefer to cut up my own pineapple and peel my own orange. But I cannot imagine the mindset of someone who would have a problem with someone selling prepared fruits for those who would prefer them.

      7. The WH response:

        Definitely our mistake. These have been pulled. We hear you, and we will leave them in their natural packaging: the peel.

        You “mistakenly” created a whole new product, with unique artwork and packaging?

        FFS, Whole Foods, you created them for a reason, and you package a bunch of other shit in plastic too. Why do broccoli and cauliflower stems need to be packaged in a plastic container? People can’t buy them whole and dice them up? Now I want to boycott them for caving in to these would-be boycotters.

        1. WH? I meant WF. As in Whole Foods. Not that anyone is still reading.

        2. This is what it’s like to work at WF. First it’s the boycotters, then the anticotters, the recotters, cottage cheese, and on and on.

    2. Good morning.

      Woman in front of me on my way to work stopped short, and I bumped into the back of her car. No damage to either car. But this is not going to be a good week.

      I’m wondering if work would mind if I just went home, went back to sleep and called it a day.

      1. Was she hot?

        1. No.

      2. But this is not going to be a good week.

        Hey! It was just a little love tap!

        1. “Okay (winks) so my name is Juvenile Bluster (winks) and you can reach me at (winks) 555-Love and maybe (winks) we can, you know (winks), work this out, hmm? Eh” (licks lips, lustful wink)?

        2. You will find that leaving some space in front of you prevents this from ever happening. And yes, I know that sometimes another car will jump into that space, but so what? Just back off from them, too. Recognize that no matter what happens with the car in front of you, no matter how abruptly they slam on the brakes, if you rear end them, legally and liability-wise, it will ALWAYS be your fault.

          1. Yeah well, a special place in Dante’s hell is reserved for people who frivolously keep hitting their brakes.

          2. It will not ALWAYS be your fault. I know several people who did not get liability assigned when a car jumped in front of them at too slow a speed, or jumped in front and immediately hit the breaks, causing a collision. One of them sued the hell out of our school district because it was a bus that jumped her lane on the highway.

            1. YMMV

            2. This is a case of failure to yield the right of way – or at least that’s what the ticket was called that was given to the person who did this in front of me.

      3. Didn’t your new car get totaled a few weeks ago? This week sounds like an improvement.

    3. The Hillary people came out and said that they were disappointed in Bernie’s tone during the debate. Which could mean either right?

      1. Every time I’ve ever heard him his tone has been petulantly whiny. Was it different during the debate? Or are they just now noticing?

        1. I’m pretty sure it was an admission that they lost.

      2. They were just being sexist. O wait, they were talking about a man. Never mind.

  2. 150) An old crone came to visit the mother of the boy. Lady Nikki received her.
    “Is he ready for the testing?” the crone asked.
    “Yes, Reverend Mother,” the Lady Nikki said. “Did you bring it?the gum jabber?”
    But the Reverend Old Mother With Candy said only, “Bring him in.”
    Lady Nikki went to her son’s room. “Come, the Reverend Mother is waiting.”
    “I dreamed of her once,” said her son, Sugarfree Atreides. His rounded face, intelligent eyes, and upright bearing showed him to be a true child of the Duke. “Who is she?”
    “She was my teacher at the Bene Gesserit Pastry School,” Lady Nikki replied. “Come, we must not keep her waiting.”
    The old crone sat in the morning room. A suspensor lamp floated in the corner. Nikki and Sugarfree entered the room. The Reverend OMWC looked Sugarfree up and down. “Damn it, Nikki, if only you’d borne us a girl when ordered to do so!”
    “I didn’t care to have a child at all, Reverend Mother. I think it is a great unhappiness to bring children into the world.”
    “Leave us now, Nikki.”
    The Lady Nikki left, and the Reverend OMWC turned to Sugarfree. In one hand she held a green metal box.
    “Sit,” she commanded the boy, adding a touch of the Voice. “Now place your hand in the box.”
    As soon as he had, she brought her other hand to his throat.

    1. “This is the gum jabber,” she said. “A needle, its tip filled with pure sucrose. For you, this would be fatal within minutes.”
      Sugarfree swallowed in a dry throat.
      “This is a test to see who is an animal,” the Reverend Mother said. “If you remove your hand from the box, you die. Keep it in the box and you live. This is the only rule.”
      Sugarfree closed his eyes and repeated to himself the words his mother had taught him. I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. He opened his eyes. “Get on with it, old woman.”
      “Old woman!” she cried. “You are brave. Well, we shall see.”
      A sensation started up Sugarfree’s hand inside the box. At first, it felt sticky, like a glazed doughnut. The sensation became stronger, now wet and cold like ice cream, now smooth and creamy, like the finest cakes and chocolates.
      “It burns,” he whispered.
      “Silence!”
      His world emptied of everything but the sensations in the box. The roundness of candied plums. The grainy stickiness of cinnamon buns. The crunchy goodness of the finest chocolate bonbons. Sugarfree thought he could feel his very flesh peel back.
      And then it stopped. The Reverend OMWC sighed and drew the gum jabber back into a fold of her robe. “You passed. I have never inflicted so much sweetness. I must have wanted you to fail. Withdraw your hand.”
      Sugarfree did so. To his amazement, his hand was whole, as if nothing had happened.

    2. Two suspensor chairs sat in shadow in the windowless room. A chuckle came from a huge, disgustingly fat figure seated in one chair, then a deep bass voice. “Tell me, nephew. Those peanuts, the Atreides, are about to spring our trap. Is it not a magnificent thing what I, the Baron Weigel, does?”
      His nephew, Steve-Rautha Smith, let out an approving roar, followed by a querying whimper.
      “Yes, my nephew. I have not forgotten you. The Lady Nikki will be yours when the time comes. But you must be patient.”
      Steve-Rautha stood and through the suspensor chair across the room, destroying an expensive view screen. The Baron’s fat hand reached out, deep pitted acne scars visible up his arms. The hand rested on Steve-Rautha’s elbow, calming him.
      “I said patience, my nephew. I know you dream of the pain you will inflict, but you must wait for the plan to come together. Then you will have all the rape you want.”
      Steve-Rautha Smith sat and let out a contented growl.

    3. Rufus J. Halleck entered the room. Sugarfree sat at a desk writing, his back to the door.
      “You should never sit facing away from the door,” Halleck said.
      “So nobody can sneak up on me? You know I’d recognize your footsteps anywhere, Rufus.”
      I believe he would at that, Halleck thought to himself. He pulled his sword out. “On your feet.”
      “I don’t feel like fighting, Rufus.”
      “You think this is a game, boy? You think a Harkonnen will ask if you’re in the mood for fighting? You fight when the necessity arises. On! Your! Feet!”
      He grazed Sugarfree’s ear with the tip of his blade, just enough to draw blood. In an instant Sugarfree was up, blade out, pressing an attack.
      “That’s it, that’s it, boy.” Sugarfree had him nearly pinned against the wall, but with a perfectly-timed feint and an attack to Sugarfree’s weakside they were back where they started.
      “Everything’s so serious now,” Sugarfree said, lowering his weapon. “I wish we had more time for play.”
      “I wish so, too, lad,” Rufus said. He pulled out his nine-stringed baliset and began to strum, an ancient song from the days of Terra and one of Sugarfree’s favorites:
      The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
      Of the big lake they call the gitchee gummee
      The lake it is said never gives up her dead
      When the skies of November turn gloomy?.

      1. At first, it felt sticky, like a glazed doughnut. The sensation became stronger, now wet and cold like ice cream, now smooth and creamy, like the finest cakes and chocolates.

        Excellent.

    4. This one is really long. Continued tomorrow….

      1. It’s probably blasphemous to say so, but i think i like this one better than the original Dune.

        1. Heretic.

          1. No, I haven’t gotten to that one yet.

          2. I think the word you are looking for is “abomination”.

        2. *readies crysknife*

          I am sorry…? You were saying?

        3. Aside from the original Dune being some of the worst written tripe I’ve had the misfortune to read, it would be hard to follow this set of posts had one not read it…

          1. Is there really anyone posting here regularly who hasn’t read it? My impression is not many.

          2. Aside from the original Dune being some of the worst written tripe I’ve had the misfortune to read

            You are now my favorite person.

            1. *loads maula pistol*

              Sigh, so many targets now…

            2. Time for the family atomics.

              1. “Family Atomics” sounds like a corporation from Fallout.

                Speaking of fallout, even if they only used the nuclear devices against the rock, the number of people exposed to radioactive fallout from that attack would have been staggering. A good number of which would of been the fremen who got marched through the crater.

                How were the cancer rates on Arrakis after Paul the Dumbass took over?

          3. Your water will belong to the tribe for that, UnCiv.

            1. Come, visit the mire I call home. It is a swamp and cess pool in one.

              Watch out for the vipers, not all of them slither.

          4. Well, no accounting for taste. Frank Herbert wasn’t the best prose stylist in the world, but that seems a bit over the top.

            1. He made me root for the obese pedophile because his “heroes” were such obnoxious overpowered twats who just got more mary sueish and unlikable as the story went on.

              Add in the sequences that felt like they were cribbed from Timothy Leary’s fever dreams, and I can’t figure out why people liked that book.

              I have not read the sequels (mostly on account of the first book)

              1. Well, the protagonists aren’t supposed to be good guys. That’s a big part of why I like it. The “heroes” are bad people (or highly morally questionable anyway) too and it’s not just a simple good/evil thing.

                Herbert has some other non-Dune books that I think I actually like better. But You’d probably hate those too. You might like Helltstrom’s Hive.

                1. Well, he certainly didn’t write them to be people, and certainly framed the story as a good/evil dichotomy.

                  But what do I know, I only read it once, and try to ignore the scar on my memory.

                  The version I liked was the Lynch adaptation, it at least had interesting visual design going for it.

                  1. But what do I know, I only read it once, and try to ignore the scar on my memory.

                    So why the fuck do you insist on having an opinion? I guess that’s kind of your thing.

                    and certainly framed the story as a good/evil dichotomy.

                    If that’s what you think, you need to reread it carefully or shut the fuck up.

            2. Seriously. If Dune is the worst-written tripe you’ve ever read, congratulations on never having encountered the works of Kevin J. Anderson or L. Ron Hubbard. Or, for that matter, most journalism.

              1. It’s that contrarian thing. Lots of people like it, so it deserves a special bashing.

                1. Not in this case.

                  In this case it’s just bad.

                  You’re the only one whose given a reason why they think it’s not bad. I disagree with that reason, but it’s more than those who are screeching “Heretic”.

                  1. How about: It has tons of great mechanics and themes. Start with the fact that Herbert recognized the inability of Feudal systems to work on a mass level as long as firearms existed- this is why he created the personal shields and they were crucial to the world building. The book’s main theme is a rebuttal of the idea of Benevolent Despots- that even with the ability to read the future, a “good” person will ultimately cause untold suffering. A recurring character, Duncan Idaho, is a foil to this and in his ultimate form doesn’t have the power to see the future, but to fully understand the past and use that knowledge to counter the “Top Men” being proffered by all power factions in the universe.

                    On top of that, there isn’t a single page in the first book that doesn’t have at least one great quote. And there were several additional cool ideas, including the idea of genetic memory.

                    The book is a tough read. Books its length take me a couple days to read, but it consistently takes over a week due to the style of prose, but it is certainly worth it. I understand that there is no accounting for taste, but in this case you are surely, verifiably wrong in your taste. 🙂

                    1. The book as you described it would have been great – but that is not the book as it exists or as it was written.

                    2. Or, perhaps it does exist, and you merely need to understand what you were reading? I can certainly sympathize, as it is hardly the kindergarten-level overt (har har) “See dick run” storytelling that you get from folks like Hubbard and Asimov.

                      I don’t know if you are Atheist, but another theme of the book is the consequences of religion. One of the intractable gaps between Atheists and Theists is that Atheists find the idea of a Prophet a non-starter. This book concedes the notion that there could be an all knowing, omnipotent Messiah and then says, “so what?”. The end result of Omnipotent Top Men “Leading” humanity is still misery. They can see every action and plan within a plan, but if it ultimately comes to using force to stop people who endanger the path, the violence necessary to set man on that path ends terribly.

                    3. D-, your trolling is weak.

                    4. F-. Your trolling is weak and poorly informed.

                      Overt describes the book’s themes very well. I don’t see any trolling on his part.

                      Are you really sure that “everyone who likes Dune is stupid and can’t read” is the position you are going to stick with? You are making yourself look stupid. You don’t like it. That’s fine.

                  2. Well, no, it’s not “just bad”. The fact that lots of people think it’s great means that you are just full of shit. You don’t like it. You don’t have to. If people think that it effectively does something that it sets out to do, then it’s not bad. It’s just not to your taste.

          5. I too thought Dune was boring as sin. My best friend, however, loved it. Of course I was thirteen or so when I tried to read it so perhaps a revisit is in order.

            1. No, it isn’t. I tell you this as a friend.

            2. Do it. It’s great. Or maybe you won’t like it. It can be a bit slow and plodding. But OMWC and UCC are the weirdos.

              I also wouldn’t say that the first book is the best of the series.

      2. Boy, we have our share of writers in this community.

        1. Speaking of – how’s the reading going?

          1. Half-way through. I’m one of those ‘when I have free minutes’ reader. So it’s a series of ‘5-10 page’ reading.

      3. That green metal box? That’s where OMWC keeps his dick.

    5. Stop taking the torch from SF. I think all it will do is serve to encourage further grist for the mill.

  3. Hey, wait a minute. Is that cleavage? Has AM Links sunk so low? But not low enough for nip?

    1. Hey! Some of us have to get the site through prudish work censors. Don’t get it changed to cut us off.

    2. Say what you want, but the illustrators for Hit and Run know their audience!

    3. Cleavage? Damn, I saw ass.

      1. So did I. I blame the missing nipples.

    4. I think it is distasteful that Ed included that photo the day after the be-cankled Nancy Hitler Reagan died.

  4. Dear reason please stop embedding twits in articles. They cause weird errors with my work proxy. If those 140 characters are worth quoting, a blockquote still works, and will result in the page loading faster, without any measurable increase in your bandwith costs.

    That is all,
    Thank you.

  5. Nancy Reagan has died.

    The libertarian’s original nemesis. She basically invented the drug war.

    1. Her maiden name was Hitler.

      1. Just say nein!

      1. Has this ever been covered in the comment section?

    2. I think even in American libertarianism, Woody Wilson was a greater enemy.

      1. I was not aware that Woodrow Wilson single-handedly stopped cancer ending cannabis research.

        1. Income Tax, motherfucker, do you pay it?

          1. Not if I can help it.

            I need to start finding business expenses for next year…

            1. Start your own charity and use donations solely for your own financial and power gains. You could call it the clinton foundation.

    3. two bullets in a room with stalin, hitler, and nancy. We shoot nancy twice right?

      1. You dug up three corpses before one was even cold?!

        1. Uh. They cool fast when buried.

    4. Nixon invented the drug war, but Nancy Reagan took it to a whole new level.

    5. She basically invented the drug war.

      Oh, please. The pre-war feds (Anslinger et al) invented the drug war. Blaming her for the WOD is like blaming Matthew McConaghey for Buicks.

      1. Lincolns.

  6. Which States Rely Most on Federal Spending?

    These are proportional numbers, so they are a function of both the amount of federal spending as well as the overall size of GDP. So, in California, for example, which receives immense amounts of government spending, is nevertheless a state where federal spending is offset by a very large private sector. In a more rural state with few major private industries, such as New Mexico, the state shows up as being highly reliant on federal spending.

    By this measure, the state most reliant on federal spending is Mississippi where federal spending is equal to 32 percent of the state’s GDP. The state least reliant on federal spending is Wyoming where federal spending is equal to 11 percent of the state’s GDP:

    1. You know what two disengenuous pieces of methodology I like most about that talking point?

      First, the part where the states who don’t jump on the program will still get the feds implementing something anyway – albeit on 100% federal funding.

      Second, the distribution of spending inside the state. Where are those programs actually operating?

    2. I love how they paint that as “reliant” upon federal spending, as if it’s something the states have control over or sought out.

      Sure, states lobby for federal facilities, but let’s take Virginia since it’s the most “dependent”. Virginia has the double-whammy of containing roughly half of the DC suburbs. The reason Virginia edges out similarly-situated Maryland is that Virginia also has the HQ of the Atlantic fleet and that only because of the deep, natural harbor of Hampton Roads.

      As far as those western states go, when the Federal government owns most of the land in your state, and employees people to “manage” that land, then yeah, you’re dependent, but it’s not like you had any choice when the feds took that land.

    3. How are things like military installations counted? They’re not distributed equally, same for highways. Seems like there is a difference between “relying” on federal money and receiving it.

      Kind of like how Obamacare is successful because so many people rely on it even though it’s illegal not to comply and and crushed other options people prefer.

  7. Afterward, Trump called on Marco Rubio, who won in Puerto Rico on Sunday, to drop out of the race.

    And to get his ass to the Rican side of the wall.

    1. Or get his ass back to Mexico, according to Shriek. Which is weird, because he’s Cuban, but hey.

      1. +2 Lil’ Tacos

      2. Shriek can’t tell the difference. Hispanic name = Mexican. And therefore should be a democrat or face open racism and derision from the Left.

        1. They all look the same to him.

    2. Doesn’t T-Dawg know that if Marco drops, more people will go to Cruz? Maybe I’m wrong, but I’m guessing they won’t run to Trump.

      1. Maybe he thinks he’s gotten about as much positive publicity he can as the front-runner and is trying to bow out without looking like a quitter

        1. Possible. Why would he even want to be president? Sounds like a hassle.

          1. Indeed. He’s probably bucking for Wall Czar.

      2. Struck me as an odd request too. As long as Cruz and Rubio are dividing the rest of the vote, Trumo has a good chance to win.

        1. It may be dawning on him that his trolling has been too effective?

          1. This would not surprise me at all.

    3. Puerto Ricans are the worst kind of Mexicans.

      1. Yeah, ones who get to pretend they’re American.

  8. Arkansas woman pleads guilty to biting off ex-boyfriend’s eyebrow, gets 5 years

    Hot Springs police arrested Wilbourn after her 55-year-old boyfriend reported that she had sliced open his left hand with a knife and hit him in the head with a stick during an argument at their home on Daisy Street, according to an affidavit.

    The victim said he walked to a local hospital, where he received 12 stitches in his hand, before returning to the house. Shortly after his arrival, another argument ensued that ended with Wilbourn pushing him off the chair he was sitting on and onto the bed, where she got on top of him and bit off most of his right eyebrow, the Sentinel-Record reported.

    Hot Springs Detective Scott Lampinen responded to the fight and reported a large piece of flesh missing from the victim’s eyebrow and a bruise on his forehead. The stitches on the man’s hand were also ripped open during the struggle.

    1. Maybe should have gone to stay in a motel after the first incident?

      1. Ha! I read your comment first as suggesting they both go to a motel; for make up whoopie.

    2. But can he still narrow gaze?

      1. If not, I will fill in.

        *narrows gaze*

    3. eyebrow…well, that story got much more tolerable, and a lot less interesting.

    4. I see this as the opening sequence in a new John Waters movie to be called, “Trouble on Daisy Street.”

      1. Daisy Street in Mortville?

    5. I bet you she had cankles.

  9. THE MINNESODA HOCKEY HAIR 2016 RESULTS ARE IN!!!!!

    1. Brilliant.

      1. So you watched an 8 minute video in one minute?

        1. No, I watched it yesterday. Just happy other people know the glory of the Minnesota all hair hockey team.

          1. I loved the Minnesota State High school tournament growing up. I miss growing up in a rural school that closed for deer huntin` season.

    2. Yes. The two teams my kiddo and I have been to see are in the hair thing too (one of the teams helps volunteer for his team, too). It’s either facial hair, or hockey hair, or both.

    3. That was…just incredible.

      I could do without Barry fricken Melrose though.

      1. I have no idea why he’s popular.

        1. Because he’s a loud mouth’d shnook like that other clown Milbury. Give me Cherry any day. He at least makes salient points behind the bluster.

          The Lightning did right to cut him loose before he ruined Stamkos.

        2. Seconded. I’m pretty happy that my smaller market Blues have an awesome guy in Darren Pang calling our games.

  10. I can’t get that idiot yammering about free market socialism out of my head. Anyone have some sort of derp anti-biotic? Or did that get crushed by extensive FDA bullshit?

    1. It’s called whiskey. You have to take it in heavy doses to forget the derp.

      1. Oh how I’ve tried that solution. I mean, technically whiskey is a solution.

      2. You mean red, red wine.

        1. I had a crianza rioja 2012 with my causa and tacu tacu majiscos the other night that was really good.

          1. Is that what a “wine spod-e od-e” is? as in “drinking wine spod-e od-e all day?”

      3. that way you can be passed out when they come door to door to execute us all

        1. I’ll be taking a staggered route to the gulags.

  11. and ended up in the cesspool of Warty’s dungon…

    Scuba Diver Miraculously Survives Horror Ride Through Nuclear Plant Intake Pipe

    What started as a scuba and lobster-diving trip with family and friends became what felt like a ride to hell for Christopher Le Cun last summer when the 30-year-old swam up to what he says was an improperly marked intake pipe to a nuclear plant in Port St. Lucie.

    For some five minutes back in July, Le Cun was pulled along at seven feet per second through a pitch black, barnacle-encrusted pipe with no idea what lay at the other end.

    They were five minutes Le Cun said will forever be imprinted on his mind.

    1. Morgan Freeman to narrate the movie.

    2. Nuke plants in America- still zero fatalities to operations.

    3. Kind of a dick move to sue the company when you weren’t injured.

      1. It could have been a baby manatees sucked into that pipe and not injured, Fist. Why do you hate baby manatee?

        1. I had baby manatees because they slow down my boat when I hit them.

          1. Manatee – the speedbump of the sea.

          2. Plus, they don’t taste anything like veal.

            1. I’ve always wondered…

            2. True story: my dad and uncle ended up on the evening news for tearing ass through a manatee sanctuary. Luckily my dad is military, so the marine patrol people let him off with a warning.

              1. Those monsters! The manatees, I mean…

        2. Wait, is Florida Man one of my sockpuppets? I’m pretty sure I’m up on my meds. And by meds I mean Southern Comfort and cough syrup.

          1. I’m Tulpa and so are you.

      2. Perhaps the settlement will give them $20 each time he tells the story for the rest of his life.

  12. “Whole Foods pulled pre-peeled oranges off their shelves after outrage on Twitter. ”

    I am continually amazed at the shit people care about.

    1. When Twitter gets mad, it’s hard to ignore.

      Only because people repeatedly give in to the twitter mob.

      1. When Twitter gets mad, it’s hard to ignore give a shit.

      2. Actually, fif you have never used the Twitter, it is quite easy to ignore.

        And from what i understand, it’s always mad. Does it even have a purpose beyond expressing righteous indignation at every minuscule perceived injustice in the world?

        1. Only the sharpest wit can fit any depth in 140 characters, so of course twits are vapid and shallow.

    2. After the 3 day pants shitting over Marco Rubio drinking water, I’m not sure how any level of tedious bitching can be surprising.

      1. Yeah, after that, I was surprised at how quickly the thing on Cruz’s lip fiasco died down.

        1. Yeah, it died down faster than the thing on Obama’s nose fiasco.

    3. Sometimes I think Mackey just trolls his liberal customers to advertise. “That goddam Whole Foods. They really do have a good salad bar, I should go there if they stop selling pre-peeled oranges.”

    4. Because if a product isn’t appealing to me, then no one should be able to buy it.

      1. +1 you dont need more than 1 type of deodorant

      2. A-peeling. See what you almost did there.

  13. North Korea threatened “indiscriminate” nuclear strikes against the United States and South Korea after the two countries launched joint military drills.

    With their targeting systems, I doubt it would be anything but.

    1. The ‘discriminate’ nuclear strikes in return would leave a smoking crater for 100 years.

  14. Top Chinese Official Rebuts Soros Prediction for Hard Landing

    The economy will expand at least 6.5 percent annually for the next five years, after growth of 6.9 percent last year, according to the latest forecasts delivered by Premier Li Keqiang in a work report Saturday at the start of the annual full session of the National People’s Congress. The government will increase its deficit as it shells out more funds to underpin growth and buffer the effects of job cuts in bloated state-run enterprises, Li said.

    “China’s economy absolutely will not have a hard landing, the so called hard-landing predictions are bound to fall through,” said Xu Shaoshi, chairman of the National Development and Reform Commission, said Sunday at a press conference in Beijing when asked about recent remarks by Soros.

    The economy is facing headwinds, and risks such as declining government revenue, falling prices for industrial commodities and declines in corporate profit “should not be under-estimated,” Xu said. Global factors from financial market fluctuations to geopolitical risk may also impact growth, he said.

    1. And they’ll spend all $3T of their currency reserves to do so. Which is really gonna fuck the Fed. How can they control the dollar aupply when the Chinese can just dump dollars whenever?

  15. Foreign diplomats voicing alarm to U.S. officials about Trump

    Foreign diplomats are expressing alarm to U.S. government officials about what they say are inflammatory and insulting public statements by Republican presidential front-runner Donald Trump, according to senior U.S. officials.

    Officials from Europe, the Middle East, Latin America and Asia have complained in recent private conversations, mostly about the xenophobic nature of Trump’s statements, said three U.S. officials, who all declined to be identified.

    “As the (Trump) rhetoric has continued, and in some cases amped up, so, too, have concerns by certain leaders around the world,” said one of the officials.

    awww… poor little peeps

    1. So are the unnamed US officials on Trump’s staff? Because it seems to me that this will help energize Trump supporters.

  16. Whole Foods pulled pre-peeled oranges off their shelves after outrage on Twitter.

    The people commenting on this in my Facederp feed are the ones who need this lesson in how market forces can work. I wonder how many of them will put 2 and 2 together and not get i.

    1. Peeled oranges pulled apart, okay. Peeled oranges whole, not okay.

  17. Supporters of the product pointed out it made it easier for the disabled and elderly to consume oranges.

    Can’t we get undocumented workers to peel oranges for these people?

    1. I sense a bold new government program in the making.

    2. Helper-monkey industry hardest hit.

      1. I, for one, am sick of the goddamn helper monkeys takin ir jerbs

  18. Whole Foods pulled pre-peeled oranges off their shelves after outrage on Twitter. Supporters of the product pointed out it made it easier for the disabled and elderly to consume oranges.

    Screw old people. They have pull top cat food they can eat.

  19. “Yeah, Ditka was probably too busy helping Schwarzkopf.”

  20. Supporters of the product pointed out it made it easier for the disabled and elderly to consume oranges.

    Then maybe they should learn how to use the Twitter.

    1. Twitter does not…appeal…to the disabled and elderly orange consumers.

      1. Maybe they don’t use it because they’re too thin-skinned.

        1. They prefer pulp *magazines*.

          1. The seediness of these comments is getting worse.

            1. ORANGE YA GLAD I COULDN’T FIND MY SUNGLASSES?

  21. EU looks to Turkey to stem migrant influx

    Merkel and Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte, whose country holds the rotating EU presidency, spent five hours talking with Davutoglu in Brussels until 2:45 a.m. to try to nail down commitments to halt the migrant flow after more than one million people – mostly Syrians, Iraqis and Afghans – entered Europe last year, most ending up in Germany.

    “I am sure these challenges will be solved through our cooperation and Turkey is ready to work with the EU,” Davutoglu said. “Turkey is ready to be a member of the EU as well. Today I hope this summit will not just focus on irregular migration but also the Turkish accession process to the EU.”

    EU officials said Davutoglu had raised the stakes, however, by demanding much more EU cash than the 3 billion euros ($3.3 billion) pledged to help the 2.9 million Syrian refugees Turkey is housing, faster moves to negotiate Turkish membership of the EU and an immediate easing of EU visa rules for Turks — something the Europeans have offered only for late in the year.

    payoff money?

    1. Because Turkey did an effective job of stemming armenian migration?

  22. Found a place to take the next family trip:

    The Spa Castle in Queens is billed as a sprawling, 22-pool Disneyland of soaks and steams.

    But some patrons are anything but G-rated.

    On Sunday mornings, an army of exotic dancers getting off their Saturday night shifts descends on the complex ? and it’s not to do laps in the pool.

    “We open at 6 a.m., and lots of strippers come here after work to unwind,” an employee told The Post. “There’s lots of skinny-dipping and the girls are making out with each other and partying. It looks like the set of a porn movie.”

    1. During two recent visits, The Post found patrons in their birthday suits, groping each other, making out and having what appeared to be underwater sex.

      They had to go back, just to make sure.

      1. “Sooo, that $3000 charge on the corporate card was to pay an informant. Actually, two. But I made up by interviewing both at the same time.”

      2. That is not water that I want to be soaking in.

        1. I’d bottle it and sell it to Flint.

        2. It’s called a gene pool, Libby.

          1. +23 chromosomes

    2. Between 2014 and 2015, the Health Department cited Spa Castle for 49 violations, including failure to post signs prohibiting discharge of bodily fluids in pools.

      NYC bureaucracy has a fetish for signage. I was a in a restaurant bathroom so small that the government mandated signage literally took up all the wall space and then with a mandate or two printed on a sticker affixed to the mirror.

    3. Best marketing scheme ever.

      “Dammit, we open at 0600 on sunday, and no one shows up before noon! How do we fix that?”

  23. Idaho Pastor Shot, Critically Wounded After Delivering Prayer for Ted Cruz

    The gunman fled and remains at large. Coeur d’Alene Police identified the suspect late Sunday as Kyle Andrew Odom, 30, a white man in his mid-30s with blond hair and blue eyes. Odom was believed to have been driving a 2004 silver Honda Accord, and police warned he should be considered armed and dangerous.

    Associate pastor John Padula told NBC station KHQ of Spokane, Washington, that there is surveillance of the man waiting in a silver car for Remington.

    Padula said the church was praying for the gunman as well as Remington.

    blonde hair? blue eyes? Racafiistsiostt!

    1. Definitely a hate crime.

  24. Nancy Reagan has died.

    Should have done the drugs, Nancy.

    1. Right. Because druggies always make it to 94.

      1. Does being humorless get you a few extra years too?

        1. Do you accuse the genius mind who brought us “Block Insane Yomomma” and “Shit Flopney” of being humorless?

            1. Fussy Muggle Her

              1. Um…Jeremy’s Iron…

          1. J’accuse!

            In French, because I really mean it.

    2. Wouldn’t it be hilarious if it was discovered she was a coke head?

  25. Kesha Tears Up During Emotional Speech At Nashville Equality Dinner
    “My message has always been about being yourself. And we really have to love each other and support each other.”

    The “We R Who We R” singer attended the event on Saturday night, where she was honored with the Visibility Award for speaking out against the bullying many members of the LGBT community — especially the youth — face.

    When she took to the stage to accept her award, the 29-year-old singer explained that her favorite aspect of fame is being able to help others.

    “Fame is strange, and unnatural, and I’m grateful for it mainly because it has put me in the position where I can actually do something positive for the world,” she said. “And that is really the best part of it.”

    1. Yawn. Wake me when she starts selling her delicious urine.

      1. What to you mix urine with? Vodka?

        1. Ask Sparky what his favorite liquor is.

        2. You’re insane. You mix it with rum.

          1. Well, if you mixed it with beer, no one would be able to tell it was in there.

            1. Quit drinking domestic crap

                1. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING ON THIS FORUM THEN

                  1. I’m at work, it’s not blocked by the proxy, and I can speak relatively freely without being moderated by some uber-progressive.

          2. That’s insane. Obviously, just a hint of vermouth is fine.

            1. Shaken, not stirred. And garnished with some underwear lint.

      2. I thought they already bottled it and called it corona.

        1. They don’t charge nearly enough for that to be celebrity piss.

  26. Eclipse? That’s just Warty squatting.

    What NASA Can Learn From the March 9 Eclipse

    On Wednesday, March 9, those lucky enough to find themselves within a few hundred miles of Indonesia will be treated to a total solar eclipse, a relatively rare space event in which the moon completely blocks out the sun during its transit.

    Beautiful in their own right, total solar eclipses also provide a great opportunity to study the Sun in ways that are only possible when the moon is in the way. Although the Sun will be almost totally obscured by the moon, the Sun’s atmosphere, or corona, will still be visible as a ring around the moon, and this is what’s got space scientists at NASA all fired up about next week’s eclipse.

    1. A total eclipse happens like every year and a half or so. The last one was barely a year ago. It might be rare for it to happen in any given location, but somewhere on earth they happen nearly annually.

  27. Medical advances in care of aging zoo animals lead to difficult questions

    staff at the zoo prefer never to euthanize an animal too late, not even by a day.

    I’m sure “building on the ACA” will solve these problems.

    1. “”Aging zoo animals lead to difficult questions”””

      Is the meat too tough to serve at the annual zoo fund raising dinner?

      1. “Will the lions eat this thing?”

      2. Good god. We live in a world where we treat old zoo animals better than ex-First Ladies.

        1. Well that brightens my day.

  28. OT: Someone on TV asked what a Washington, D.C. burger would taste like. Put on your thinking caps, Reasonoids. My guess is that you’d pay a high price for it, and someone else would get it.

    1. Not only that, but the bun would somehow be both moldy and burnt, while the interior would not contain beef, but still manage to be raw.

    2. “Have it *our* way!”

    3. dude your talking about the region that gave the world five guys. Burgers around here are actually okay, Pizza on the other hand.

      1. Not a private industry burger, a government burger

        1. School lunch.

        2. What about an Anarchy Burger? “hold the government please”

        3. Lowest-grade beef cooked well-done, with one packet of ketchup as an optional condiment. Plain bun, with a bit of mold.

      2. Yeah, burgers are one of the few things this area does all right

    4. The patty would have to be a composite of hookworms, tapeworms, heartworms, and every other parasite known to man.

    5. The Bastiat Burger: You buy it and they chuck it through the window.

    6. Is it time for the Friday weekly contest already!?

  29. Of all the things on this page Nancy Reagan should have been first.

    1. Nope, still Fist.

      1. If only her astrologer had shown her the secret.

  30. The painful twilight of Barack Obama’s presidency
    America’s racial history did not end with his election, as borne out by today’s voting patterns

    Call it the curse of high expectations. When Barack Obama took office, the world swooned, America exhaled and pundits declared an end to centuries of racial division. Gazing at the 1.5m people who braved the cold to witness Mr Obama’s inauguration, Steven Spielberg said it would have been impossible to stage for a movie. That was then. Today America’s first non-white president is winding down at the nation’s tensest moment of racial polarisation in decades. Thanks to Donald Trump, the Ku Klux Klan is back in the headlines. I doubt Mr Trump will succeed Mr Obama as president but he has injected poison into the bloodstream. For all Mr Obama’s hopes, fear is the dominant currency.

    Much like the end-of-history declarations in the 1990s, America’s racial history did not end with Mr Obama’s election. It simply opened a new chapter. Nations, it seems, suffer from similar disorders to humans ? what happens in their formative years shapes their character for evermore.

    1. Once again, America has shown itself unworthy of Obama. That great man showed us the way to a post-racial future, but we wouldn’t listen.

      1. 320 million people failed this one great man.

        1. To be fair, it wasn’t just the Americans who failed Barack. The great Nobel laureate was also failed by Arabs, Israelis, Russians, and Chinese; by Jews, Muslims, and of course Christians of all nations. That’s why he had to bomb more countries than Bush.

    2. “Call it the curse of high expectations.”

      Speak for yourself, Financial Times.

      Actually, my expectation was that Obama’s presidency would make no difference at all to race relations, so I guess he has underperformed even in relation to my middling expectations.

      1. At least it isn’t the soft bigotry of low expectations.

      2. Curse of high expectations? That’s certainly one problem we won’t have with a Trump administration.

      3. “No difference” would have been a welcome result. Race relations have gotten much worse.

    3. Yeh, I ain’t gonna pay for that crap.

    4. It is hilarious to me that anyone ever thought a ‘community organizer’, aka a professional shit stirrer, would end racial division in this country. In spite of everything he has done they still don’t get it.

      Fuck every moron who voted for this guy.

      1. It’s hilarious to me that anyone thought any president is so omnipotent that he could do away with racial bigotry.

        Anyone who expects a politician to magically reach inside of people and change their belief systems deserves to be horribly disappointed.

        1. I didn’t think he’d do anything to improve race relations, but I really was surprised that he and his supporters basically turned the relations from an uneasy detente to a roaring dumpster fire.

        2. Yes, but the perfectability of humankind through correct politics is part of the base assoptions of progressive thought.

    5. 8 years of an Obama presidency, and all racial problems that exist in this country are the fault of a businessman who has spent no time in government.

      Sounds legit.

      “Nations, it seems, suffer from similar disorders to humans ? what happens in their formative years shapes their character for evermore.”

      No fucking shit. You’re telling me that things that happened in the past impact the present? I can see why the Financial Times pays you the big bucks.

      1. Irish,

        Scolta bello.

        You guys lost the NARRATIVE. That is, any of Obama’s failings will be framed such that fault will lay elsewhere.

        ‘He tried but…(insert whatever here)’

        1. TEATHUGLIKKAN obstructionism!!!! No Congress has ever been hostile to a president before!!#

      2. Listen, it’s “thanks to Donald Trump” that the KKK is in the news. It’s his doing, the news producers were vehemently opposed to it until Trump’s klan stormtroopers kicked in the doors of their studios and forced them to run the stories over and over at gun point.

  31. Colorado Looks to Broaden Therapists’ Power to Prevent School Shootings

    Proposed bill would permit professionals to alert authorities about possible dangers of violence, even if threat isn’t immediate

    The bill also requires professionals to alert authorities about *their own* dangerous thoughts, right? RIGHT?!

    1. I wasn’t aware that they needed special permission to call the police.

      1. Doctor-patient privilege prevents it unless it involves an immediate threat to themselves or others.

      2. It looks like they are loosening doctor/patient privilege, meaning they can involve the police with less evidence of imminent harm.

        1. But police officers’ therapists will be encouraged not to “over-react” to officers in a stressful job serving the public who might indicate that they are possibly going to do harm to a random individual they encounter, right?

        2. This will turn out well.

    2. I know one person who cancelled their appointment for mental health care over this shit.

      1. I’m sure there are lots of people who do this, and understandably so given the sorry history of involuntary commitment.

    3. I’m sure this will have no impact on the number of people willing to voluntarily seek psychiatric treatment. None whatsoever…

      1. Does this count as bending the cost curve?

        Because it sure seems like it will reduce what gets spent on mental health.

  32. Former Chicago Bears coach Mike Ditka said in a radio interview that Barack Obama was the worst president ever, and that he would probably vote for Donald Trump.

    sounds like there will be an opening on Sunday NFL Countdown

  33. Nancy Reagan has died.

    So does this mean we’ll finally get something other than “all Trump the time” for at least one day? I mean, I know she wasn’t a washed “rock star” who hadn’t done anything relevant for years like Lou Reed or David Bowie, but still.

    1. I’m sure Lou Reed will get his own tributes when he dies.

        1. You misspelled cankers.

    2. Speaking of Bowie, I finally give Blackstar a listen. It’s good – perhaps very good – but not the “best evah” as some of his fans have been claiming. I do hear lots of echo from past albums – some blatant take-offs of his previous work. So perhaps David was just (understandably) running out of steam at this point.

      1. That’s because he had cankles.

      2. I hear his upcoming collaboration with Lou Reed will be amazing.

    1. [cough] Trump [cough]

      1. I’ve been hanging around here too long. Fuck it I’m calling off, going skiing. 2+feet of champagne powder. To the white room I go.

        1. champagne powder?

          Is that legal?

      2. [cough] [cough] [cough] [cough] [cough] [cough] [cough] [cough] [cough] [cough] [cough] [cough] Hillary [cough] [cough] [cough] [cough] [cough] [cough] [cough] [cough] [cough] [cough] [cough] [cough]

        1. Nice, but don’t do the Bill one.

          1. [cough] [cough] [cough] [cough] Monica [spit]

    2. So many of our current elite also having fewer than two testes and micropenises?

    3. Just when I was beginning to turn around and accept Hitler.

    4. Speaking of Hitler, has there ever been a time when the Gray Lady wasn’t astoundingly wrong about everything?

      The Times wrote: “Several reliable, well-informed sources confirmed the idea that Hitler’s anti-Semitism was not so genuine or violent as it sounded, and that he was merely using anti-Semitic propaganda as a bait to catch masses of followers and keep them aroused, enthusiastic, and in line for the time when his organization is perfected and sufficiently powerful to be employed effectively for political purposes.”

      The Times also quoted an unnamed politician who said Hitler was being politically deft for exaggerating his anti-Semitism.

      “You can’t expect the masses to understand or appreciate your finer real aims,” the newspaper quoted the politician as saying. “You must feed the masses with cruder morsels and ideas like anti-Semitism. It would be politically all wrong to tell them the truth about where you really are leading them.”

      1. It would be politically all wrong to tell them the truth about where you really are leading them.

        Alinksy looms large.

      2. It turns out he was just using them. To what? Make soap?

      3. Okay Times. Now employ the same reasoning to, say, Sanders or Trump.

        Idiots.

        /whacks NYT with folded newspaper off the side of the head busting an ear drum.

      4. An interesting aspect of this is that the Munich Beer Hall Putsch wasn’t until the following year. And he didn’t publish Vol 1 of Mein Kampf until 1925. He did become the leader of the NSDAP in 1921, but I am surprised they made such a big deal of him at this point. And I wonder why they made him look softer here. Was it because he was as anti-Marxist in his speeches as he was anti-Semitic? But then, the NYT loved them some Stalin just a few years later.

      5. “It would be politically all wrong to tell them the truth about where you really are leading them.”

        That’s the problem – Hitler was (by political standards) honest about where he was leading his followers and everyone else.

  34. Packaging oranges in plastic is a waste of plastic? I posit that people who care about this are a waste of skin.

    1. There is an optimal level of consumption. True facts. Too little consumption is the plague of ascetics, poors and third-world savages. Too much consumption is a monstrous waste of precious resources for mere hedonistic trivialities.

      What luck for the Twatters that their level of consumption is the exactly correct level.

      1. Beautiful

    2. Do you want to be the one to explain to future generations why plastic trees can only be seen in museums?

  35. Who the fuck is petty enough to complain about pre-peeled goddam oranges?

    1. People who would never, *ever* buy a “party tray”.

    2. Here’s a hint – they are Whole Foods customers.

      1. ^This. Every time I go to a “natural” grocery I do so knowing that I’ll be disgusted and amused in equal measures.

    3. Nathalie Gordon looks like.

  36. A Bernie-supporting prog friend of mine just shared a video on Facebook with this description. Does anyone want to tell me how this last sentence makes sense?

    It might be tempting to view the political success of Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump as something uniquely American. But, argues Gary Younge, rightwing populism and scapegoating of society’s vulnerable is cropping up all across the west. This is what happens when big business has more power than governments

    1. If the secret to limiting right-wing populism is a centralized, powerful state, then how did this happen?

      Isn’t Denmark comrade Bernie’s glorious people’s utopia?

    2. It doesn’t.

    3. Across the West, eh. A few ranchers out there may think he’s got that backwards.

    4. Let me get this straight:

      – Donald Trump is successful because big business controls the government. Yet the establishiment republicans who are controlled by big business oppose donald trump???

      Scapegoating society’s vulnerable…who might that be? Trumps supporters seem to be at the lower end of the economic scale

  37. Why do a lot of twatter busybodies microaggress me for my laziness? I supposed they’ll want me to eat grapes with the skin still on them, next.

    1. +1 Beulah

    1. They’ll release the “corrected and adjusted” data shortly.

    2. A couple weeks ago there was going to be a release of a study showing that the oceans have risen 5.5 inches in the last 100 years. Has it been published? Has there been any disagreement with its findings?

    3. Just why did NASA start its timeline at the low point of recent fluctuations?

      Can you imagine what the SEC would do to a mutual fund or company that tried to sell securities based only on the trend since the bottom of the most recent bear market?

      Fraud is fraud. And I don’t see any way the NASA report isn’t fraud.

  38. Navy SEALS short on rifles, congressman says

    After SEALs return from a deployment, their rifles are given to other commandos who are shipping out, said Hunter, a former Marine who served three combat tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. This weapons carousel undercuts the “train like you fight” ethos of the U.S. special operations forces, they said.

    Hunter said he’s been contacted by several SEALs, but he declined to provide further information about the weapons they use in order to protect their identities.

    U.S. military officials said they were looking into the issue.

    Sharing rifles may seem inconsequential. It’s not. The weapons, which are outfitted with telescopic targeting sights and laser pointers, are fine-tuned to individual specifications and become intensely personal pieces of gear.

    “They want their rifles,” Hunter said. “It’s their lifeline. So let them keep their guns until they’re assigned desk jobs at the Pentagon.”

    1. Shit, I hated lending out my baseball bat, hockey stick and tennis/squash rackets.

      1. I lent out my favorite hockey stick once – and never got it back. I am a very reluctant lender now.

    2. This crap never even occurred to me. As a Radio Operator in a regular Marine Infantry unit, I always imagined that the SEALS got whatever kind of exotic weapons they wanted, whenever they wanted them.

      At least my M16 in the armory was mine as long as I was in that unit. Nobody else fucked with the sights or my stuff in the butt-stock.

    3. Lacking Basic Gear, Special Operators Stuck Buying Their Own Equipment

      I’m not calling for increased military spending…I advocate just the opposite, but the military is so bureaucratic that not even the best operators can get the equipment they need.

  39. Probable cause
    Pursuing drugs and guns on scant evidence, D.C. police sometimes raid wrong homes ? terrifying the innocent

    The search warrant executed at Taylor’s apartment cited no evidence of criminal activity there. Instead, in an affidavit to a judge, police argued that they should be able to search for drugs there based on their “training and experience” investigating the drug trade. They relied on an address they found in a court-records system for the woman arrested with PCP.

    In a written statement to The Post, D.C. Police Chief Cathy L. Lanier did not distinguish between warrants based primarily on training and experience and those based on more-extensive investigation. She said that all of the warrants the department executed last year were constitutionally sound and that each warrant was reviewed by a police lieutenant as well as prosecutors and ultimately approved by a judge.

    The Post did a good job with this reporting.

    1. On April 5, 2013, police pulled her ex-boyfriend over for having an obstructed license plate and found five ounces of marijuana, a misdemeanor. He had two prior misdemeanor convictions for selling marijuana. Police got an address for him in Northwest from his suspended D.C. driver’s license and a utility listing from December 2012, according to the affidavit.

      But the house was rented to Harrison, and she said she had previously told police that he had never lived there.

      Shortly after 10 p.m. on April 18, as Harrison watched a rerun of “Grey’s Anatomy” with two of her daughters, she glanced up from the television to see a line of 20 police officers assembled on the porch of her house. She opened the door.

      “Everyone was running in. No one told me what was going on,” Harrison, 35, later told The Post.

      Harrison’s 11-year-old daughter was taking a shower when an officer pushed aside the curtain and pointed a gun at her, according to the mother and daughter. Police also held Harrison’s 21-year-old brother, Sterling, at gunpoint, Harrison and Sterling said

      I was going to reply here with something snarky, but I just can’t. This is just sad. Unsurprising, but sad.

    2. And another one

      When police arrived, Robinson put her 13-year-old shepherd-pit bull mix, Wrinkles, in a bathroom and allowed officers to conduct their search. She said that a police officer opened the bathroom door and shot the dog, and as the animal ran into the living room, several more officers opened fire, hitting the dog 13 times, according to a lawsuit she filed. Blood splattered across her artwork and photographs. Robinson said the officers threw bedsheets and clothing on the floor to soak it up. Robinson said she was forced to wait outside for four hours during the officers’ search.

      Police did not find drugs or other contraband. Paperwork documenting the results of the search list only “drug paraphernalia (empty ziploc with residue).”

      Last March, a federal judge dismissed Robinson’s lawsuit against police, saying that the officers used reasonable force in killing an aggressive dog.

      If ever I needed more evidence that cops *want* to kill dogs, that’s it.

      1. It is not full of happy stories.

  40. Progressives suffer from delusions…i think they live in a world where they think every one would love their policies and think like them if it wasn’t for all these boogeymen.

  41. police argued that they should be able to search for drugs there based on their “training and experience” investigating the drug trade.

    “Washington, DC, is well known focal point of the drug trade and other illicit activity. We hereby declare it to be a ‘warrant free zone’.”

  42. Season 3 of Rick and Morty will debut later this year and run for 14 episodes.

    YES! FINALLY! RICK AND MORTY FOREVER! A HUNDRED YEARS, RICK AND MORTY!

  43. What is “Rick and Morty”?

    *serious question

    1. Animated show about the adventures of a young boy and his alcoholic dimension-travelling grandfather.

      1. There is also a character called Bird Person.

        1. Was the character Big?

    2. A crudely animated show on adult swim. Think back to the future (which is what they parodied in early sketches) but with alcohol, and no time travel because time traveling is stupid. A good bit of the show is at least anti authoritarian. Very good

  44. GIT YER … I mean, get the vote out!

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