to his fans in which he begs everyone not to vote for Donald Trump because Trump is Adolf Hitler. Even though CK says he doesn't think Trump is evil or a monster and doesn't think Hitler was either. But Trump is a "shocking cunt billionaire liar" and even though he's not a conservative, CK thinks a conservative should be president after Obama because we need "balance," and that John Kasich "seems okay."
Apologies for the previous paragraph, but I decided that aping CK's blatantly contradictory and unserious stream-of-consciousness style was the best method of effectively conveying how truly disposable CK's stab at a political rant is.
CK's screed came at the end of his weekly e-newsletter to fans, which primarily plugged his new web series, Horace and Pete. CK tacked on around 1,400 more words, in which he began:
P.S. Please stop it with voting for Trump. It was funny for a little while. But the guy is Hitler. And by that I mean that we are being Germany in the 30s. Do you think they saw the shit coming? Hitler was just some hilarious and refreshing dude with a weird comb over who would say anything at all.
That's a rather glib interpretation of early 1930s German politics, which he would expand upon later in the email with this:
American democracy is broken enough that a guy like that could really fuck things up. That's how Hitler got there. He was voted into power by a fatigued nation and when he got inside, he did all his Hitler things and no one could stop him.
Factually, Hitler's Nazi Party lost seats in the Reichstag and only won about 33% of the popular vote in the last election before the Nazis took power, but reading is hard and loose analogies are easy, so let's move on.
CK writes that he likes Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton but isn't advocating for them and that "frankly I wish the next president was a conservative only because we had Obama for eight years and we need balance." Unfortunately, he writes, "it only works if the conservatives put up a good candidate."
Though he correctly warns of Trump's dangerous aversion to the First Amendment, CK suggests John Kasich as an acceptable Republican alternative for the presidential nomination because he's a "healthier choice."
Apparently, CK is unaware of Kasich's inclination to strong-arm video stores into pulling Oscar-winning movies featuring woodchippers off their shelves because, the "grown-up" Ohio governor once said, "It was billed as a comedy, but it wasn't funny."
CK's rant then goes on and on on, liberally peppered with words like "cancer," "suicide," and "crack pipe."
In the familiar style of former Daily Show host Jon Stewart, who whenever he was cornered after fudging facts or being flat out wrong would throw up his hands and say, "I'm just a comedian," CK goes generously further with the disclaimer:
I'm an idiot and I'm sure a bunch of you are very annoyed by this. Fucking celebrity with an opinion.
Then, this epic wrap-up to convince his fans not to vote Trump:
I'm not saying he's evil or a monster. In fact I don't think Hitler was. The problem with saying that guys like that are monsters is that we don't see them coming when they turn out to be human, which they all are. Everyone is. Trump is a messed up guy with a hole in his heart that he tries to fill with money and attention. He can never ever have enough of either and he'll never stop trying. He's sick. Which makes him really really interesting. And he pulls you towards him which somehow feels good or fascinatingly bad. He's not a monster. He's a sad man. But all this makes him horribly dangerous if he becomes president.
CK's "epic" political activism concludes with this cheeky addendum plugging his show, "And please watch Horace and Pete."
You can read the full transcript of CK's email here.