Trump Feeling Super on Super Tuesday, Rubio Braces for Disappointment, Dark Tower Movie in the Works: P.M. Links

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    Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump widely expected to win big on Super Tuesday.

  • Marco Rubio is preparing for the worst.
  • Meanwhile, a lot of Republicans are saying #NeverTrump.
  • Bernie Sanders is plotting a comeback. It will be tough.
  • In non-political news… just kidding, here's some more Trump stuff.
  • Okay for real this time: a film adaptation of Stephen King's Dark Tower series is in the works. Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey are confirmed to star as Roland and the Man in Black, respectively.

NEXT: Students Had BDSM Sex. Male Says He Obeyed Safe Word. GMU Agreed, Expelled Him Anyway.

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  1. Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump widely expected to win big on Super Tuesday.

    And then mate.

    1. Hello.

      /puts watch to ear and shakes it to see if it’s working.

    2. You forgot the check.

    3. That is despicable…

      Mate?

      Unpossible. Hillary’s womb is a barren rocky place where Donald’s seed would find no purchase.

      And the Donald only reproduces asexually.

      He uses sex to conquer.

    4. Eeeeeeew!

    5. I can avoid SugarFree’s posts. But when you put it at the top of the lynx…

    6. Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump widely expected to win big on Super Tuesday.

      Which makes a nice pairing with the BDSM thread.

  2. Marco Rubio is preparing for the worst.

    Hitler?

    1. Nikki!

      1. Dammit. Me too slow

      2. He is breaking out the bowtie!

      3. He is breaking out the bowtie!

    2. Nikki?

    3. You can’t prepare for Nikki

  3. Meanwhile, a lot of Republicans are saying #NeverTrump.

    Lending credence to my theory that Trump is a Clinton creation.

    1. Or that lots are Republicans, which also explains a lot of things

      1. Or that lots of Republicans are really Democrats which also explains lots of things

        1. I’m starting to think that the batshit socialist shit going on in the Democratic Party is serving as a republican registration drive for former blue collar democrats who like Trump’s rhetoric. That in turn is pushing out some of the conservative and blue-blood republicans.

    2. *nods*

      If Trump didn’t exist, the Democrats would have invented Sarah Palin instead.

  4. Erin Andrews testifies in court: “‘Oh, my God ? I was naked all over the Internet”.

    Oooooh yes you were, honey. Oops, sorry, I mean it’s absolutely terrible what that awful, disgusting creep did to you!

    1. I feel a lot worse for her than I do for the dumbasses that were dumb enough to send nudes and store them on the cloud. Andrews literally got spied on. The others were just careless in their storage.

      1. Yeah, I wouldn’t award her what she’s asking for, but I would make the hotel give her something, given how stupid and negligent they were in giving the creep her room number.

    2. You could at least type with both hands.

      1. + 1 left-handed mouse

    3. I think news media are dicks for covering this. Why can’t they just have some good taste and let this stay in the court room?

      I’m not saying they don’t have the right, or should be prevented. I’m just saying they are assholes.

      1. Because this gives the press the opportunity to be wildly voyeuristic while tut-tutting and pretending they’re taking a moral stand against voyeurism.

        They couldn’t pass up that opportunity.

        1. All about the clicks.

        2. Just like the early movies? audiences loved the lavish sinner spectacles.

  5. …just kidding, here’s some more Trump stuff.

    Trumptastic.

    1. Sorry, but that’s already trumpmarked.

      1. Has it been trumpeted?

    1. Those tricksy Jews…wait, that doesn’t work here.

      1. Since Waze is an Israeli invention, the Mossad isn’t doing a very good job of sniffing out moles.

  6. Hamas Commander, Accused of Theft and Gay Sex, Is Killed by His Own

    He admitted that he had kept money meant for the brigades, and thus, said his sister Buthaina, 27, “began the telenovela of torture.”

    The Hamas official said Mr. Ishtiwi’s quick confession had aroused suspicion that he was hiding something bigger.

    A dragnet investigation began, drawing in Mr. Ishtiwi’s soldiers. Qassam officials found a man who claimed he had had sex with Mr. Ishtiwi and provided dates and locations. They concluded that the missing money had been used either to pay for sex or to keep the man quiet. If Israeli intelligence officials knew Mr. Ishtiwi was gay, the officials surmised, perhaps he had given them information in exchange for keeping a secret that, if uncovered, would have made him an outcast in his society.

    The article isn’t that long and is an interesting peek behind the curtain at Hamas.

    1. Surprising since they stuck with corrupt old queer Arafat for decades.

      1. Also I thought those Afghan commanders all kept boys around. Although maybe this was a moral impurity the Taliban were railing against.

        1. I’m no expert on pan Middle Eastern culture, but I think your average Afghan villager/commander is a little different than Hamas.

      2. To be fair, Hamas didn’t, they just couldn’t do shit about him. And I’m sure there were all kinds of lurid accusations flying around before and after (and probably) during the purge of Gaza from Arafat’s lot.

  7. Idris Elba and Mattthew McConaughey are confirmed to star as Roland and the Man in Black, respectively.

    Is that extra T because he’s so tough and toned?

    1. You’re thinking of Matttthew McConaughey. Mattthew is merely tough.

      1. ONE OF THE Ts IS SILENT AND THEREFORE INVISIBLE

    2. I like the casting, but predict this will be a shitstorm of a movie.

      Good SK vehicles are based on his smaller, more contained works.

      1. Well, if it’s only going to be one movie, it’s going to be a confusing shitstorm of a movie.

        1. For awhile they were talking about 2-3 movies, then a TV miniseries, then another movie or something?

          Very confusing.

          If they do it right, they could probably do the first three books in one movie. It would be a challenge, though.

          I like Idris Elba for this one.

          1. I will at least watch it, but I don’t have really high expectations–not because of Elba. I think he’s a great actor. Not a huge fan of McShovelface.

          2. Besides obliterating all the tension between Roland and the black racist Susanna, tell me again how a white dude from the gunpowder age is supposed to be portrayed correctly by a British black dude?

            I have no problem with Idris Elba as an actor, I even like his movies. But for me, a fan of the Dark Tower, I can’t see this as anything more than pandering, especially when half of the character interaction between Susanna and Roland was about Roland’s white skin.

            Someone call JJ Abrams, we need a non-linear reboot of the literature. File this movie next to A Phantom Menance and Feig’s female Ghostbusters.

            1. I’m inclined to agree, but I will say that if they’re only going to do one movie, it wouldn’t surprise me if the racism angle of Susanna gets cut entirely.

              1. Susanna then becomes a Tina Fey WASP, Eddie becomes a struggling transsexual, Jake is a Ganymede for His Blackness, what a turnout this will be.

                King will finally be able to afford glasses that weigh less than 50 lbs. And America can finally say no to racism.

                Kumbaya.

            2. You don’t think he’s too street?

      2. The story sucked (at least the ending did) and by the time they get done making the last movie, Idris Elba is going to be old enough to get all of Morgan Freeman’s roles.

        1. Hopefully they pretty much bin all the meta reality shit and focus on the chivalric western stuff that happens as the backstory to the books.

        2. It’s funny that Steven King considers The Dark Tower to be his magnum opus even though the synopsis makes it sound like a true turd. Steven King has written way more books than he should have. Most of them stink like shit and are poorly written to boot. There are some real gems in the pile, though.

          1. Books I, II and IV are legitimately great. III was weird. Either at the end of his cocaine phase or trying to channel the same. V-VII are terrible.

            1. I agree with this, though I might switch around 3 and 4 for your descriptions. 5 was fine for about the first third to a half, and then went completely off the rails.

              I never got into the Wheel of Time or GoT thing, but 5-6-7 are the most disappointing times I’ve ever had with an author and a series I really looked forward too. Still haven’t read 8. Turned me off Stephen King forever. Well, that and the last half of Cell being complete dreck.

              I like Idris Elba’s acting. He isn’t Roland. That Hollywood has a problem with casting African-Americans isn’t a reason to fuck up this series. Cynic’s Guide above lays out the reasons why, although it’s ‘Detta that loses her shit with Roland and Eddie.

  8. Marco Rubio is preparing for the worst.

    Oh please, that’s not for another eight months.

  9. Idris Elba and Mattthew McConaughey

    Sploosh.

    1. I’m kind of meh on McConaughey.

      Definitely sploosh on Elba.

      1. McConaughey has his moments. I don’t know Elba at all so I’ll reserve judgement.

        1. Elba has pretty terrible taste in roles. Everyone who has seen series 1 of Luther really likes him. The show gets a bit muddled after the first series, but it’s short enough that you don’t feel ripped off watching the whole thing.

    2. One out of two.

      1. I assume the one is Elba.

        Because I’m straight, but not straight enough to pass that up! Amiright!?

        1. Two straight lady friends of mine had a conversation that went something like

          1: “Idris Elba is sex on legs”
          2: “Who the fuck is that?”
          1: *shows picture*
          2: “Eh, not really into black dudes.”
          1: “Me neither, but this is Idris Elba”
          2: “Yeah, I’m really not into black dudes”
          1: “No, I get it, but if you don’t think Idris Elba is dead sexy, you might, like legitimately be racist.”

          I’m butchering it a bit because there were fruity tropical drinks involved.

          1. I only hate the red men of the plains, but I don’t see the appeal of Idris Elba.

            Then again… here’s my top celebrity crush.

            Dat voice. I could play Splinter Cell for daaaaaaays

            1. Jester: “That was some of the best flying I’ve seen to date – right up to the part where you got killed.”

            2. Okay. Weird but I’m not judging.

              The sexiest dude alive.

                1. Still so so so HAWT.

                  He looks so purdie when he’s bloody

                  1. Sorry, Lady B. WNB. I have a thing against blonde and ginger men. Still, more for you, right? 😉

                  2. *runs out to get giant chest piece, complete with last name on torso*

                  1. That was in reply to the disgusting tatts.

              1. Okay. Weird but I’m not judging.

                The sexiest dude alive.

                R

                U

                SHITTING

                ME

                ???

            3. Michael Ironside, along with Kurtwood Smith and John Glover, are some of the best character actor villains of all time. More grist for the mill here.

          2. Did you interject and offer your thoughts?

            1. “I think you might be broken inside”

          3. I agree with lady 2. Elba is way overrated.

            *sips mimosa*

            1. I guess Idris Elba’s primary base of support is gays and flamboyantly homoerotic straight men like myself.

            2. Between you and Jesse, now I’m really confused.

              TV TELLS ME HES SEXY.

            3. Yes, yes, but you think homeless Tom Hardy is “hotter than the sun.” Clearly your preferences are *problematic*.

              1. Clearly your preferences are *problematic*.

                Who died and made you my mother?

                *huffs away and slams bedroom door*

                1. Going to your room isn’t even a punishment. You’re probably rubbing one out to a YouTube video of bumfights projected onto a bigscreen as we speak!

                  Jesus, now I sound like my mother.

              2. Inception Tom Hardy is the only Tom Hardy for me.

            4. Elba is way overrated.

              He does seem to be the go-to hott black guy of the moment. “He should be the next Bond! Gunslinger! etc.”

        2. Nobody’s that straight.

          1. +1 Ray Gillette (pron: Gill – Let)

        3. Yes, Elba. McConaughey always looks greasy.

      1. Not being attracted to Idris Elba is even worse than your unfortunate support for Star Trek Into Darkness.

        1. Ok, Mr. Flamboyantly Homoerotic Straight Man. 😉 I bet you loved that volleyball scene in Top Gun, too, right?

          All my favorite scenes had Ironside in them. /swoon.

  10. Mattthew McConaughey is a terrible actor.

    So is Matthew McConaughey

    1. I liked him in True Detective. A lot. His rom-com stuff is nothing special, but about right for the genre.

      1. Pretty good in Dallas Buyer’s Club, too.

        Those fucking Lincoln commercials?!? Ho-leeee She-it!!!

        1. Those Lincoln commercials are also poorly written to start.

      2. My eleven year old daughter has been running around the house randomly yelling “Murph!” after she watched about 15 minutes of Interstellar…

        1. I enjoyed “Interstellar” (some of the physics was awesome, some of it was really bad). But I can’t get the sound of “Mu-urph!” out of head.

          1. I thought it was pretty good too. But the mystical higher intelligence stuff always seems like a cheap trick.

      3. Matt and Kate Hudson are the Doris Day and Rock Hudson of our time, and I cannot wait until they complete their rom-com trilogy.

      4. He was among the most annoying characters ever in Contact. The character in Sagan’s book was not nearly so off putting.

      5. He was atrocious in Some Time to Kill.

      6. He was @#$()*@()$ great in true detective.

        I think he’s actually a genuine talent. He needs the right roles to do best tho, he’s no Gary Oldman.

  11. Since Rico is responsible for PM Lynx hijinx:

    12 times thJustin Beeber proved his sartorial prowess

    No article, just pictures

    1. “thJustin Beeber”!

      I *knew* that guy was gay!

  12. The Dark Tower with that cast? This almost makes me want to stop hating Stephen King for killing the series and desecrating the corpse. Unless we’re getting the McConaughey from that Dragon movie. He needs to basically play his True Detective character.

    1. . Unless we’re getting the McConaughey from that Dragon movie

      You leave Reign of Fire alone! I just hope we get more of Fools Gold-era McConaughey.

    2. When I read King’s rework of the first book in the series, I wished I had kept my copy of the first paperback edition. That older edition was much better than his rework. Though to be fair, King restrained himself and didn’t change that much.

      1. Is this the series that starts with a lobster eating some guys fingers? I never got past the first book, may not even have finished it actually, horrible, horrible book, and I generally like Kings books.

        1. Wat. I can’t even with this.

          Try it again. For serious. It’s his best work when it’s taken all together as a series.

          1. Well, no. It’s very good but no. 1) The Stand is better. 2) King really, really cocks up the books beyond Wolves of the Calla.

            1. I can agree that The Stand* is his best stand alone book, hands down, no questions asked.

              It does get a little silly with the whole… *SPOILER* writing himself into the books thing *END SPOILER*, but I can live with a little prima donna vanity for how expansive and interesting the series is, as a whole. Come on. It spans multiple universes and touches several other of his books, going so far as to even include some of those characters in the quest for brief periods of time. That’s pretty neat, you have to admit.

              *unabridged, of course

              1. I can agree that The Stand* is his best stand alone book, hands down, no questions asked.

                /scratches head

                I agreed until I reread The Stand. Maybe that was my mistake, rereading it.

                1. I dunno. I’ve read it a few times, and I still enjoy it a great deal.

                2. I’ve probably read the unabridged version half a dozen times and absolutely love it.

              2. Oh, don’t get me wrong, Riven. I really do like the DT series and totally agree with you that the size and scope (phrasing) is incredible. I’ve always loved how you’d be reading Black House or The Talisman or Eye of the Dragon and see references to the Tower (and I love that it’s essentially what the whole universe spins around). I just have a very difficult time forgiving King for including himself in those books. It not only felt vain but it felt…cheap? I’m not a fan at all of authors, actors, etc. breaking the fourth wall. It’s one of the reasons I thought Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sands were hacks on SNL and why The Office would wear thin.

                1. I just have a very difficult time forgiving King for including himself in those books.

                  Heinlein did the same before King and did a much better job of it.

                2. I’m a big fan of fourth wall breaks when it’s done for comedic effect–see Deadpool for hilarious examples.

                  But I do agree–that was such a bizarre move to write himself in that way, with the van and everything. Definitely cheap vanity all the way. I was not a fan of that, but I do love that the whole universe spins around the tower. My only guess is that he was trying to say that our actual world is also included in “the whole universe revolves around tower, including reality, what a twist!”

                  1. Yeah, I definitely think that was what he was trying to do and I’m not opposed to it at all. I just think it could’ve been done with a much lighter touch or even a macabre one (like “the author of the books died before the series was completed”).

                    Having said all this, I’m kind of inspired to go back and reread the series. I never read The Wind Through the Keyhole (again, phrasing). Was it actually part of the series or some kind of concordance?

                    1. Ahhh, actually, I don’t think I’ve read that one, either. : /

                      There’s a lot of stuff he’s done since the mid-aughts that I haven’t even looked at or kept up with. I’d say the most recent book of his I’ve read would be either Lisey’s Story or Cell, whichever came out last.

            2. They are working on some sort of theatrical version of The Stand as well. The ABC TV series was pretty good. Some of the casting was right on, but I just never really got Jaime Sheridan as “The Walking Dude”. But there was a “cheese” factor that I hope can be worked out in a theatrical series of movies.

          2. Maybe they’ll change the ending and fix the story in the movies.

        2. It doesn’t start with the lobster eating a guy’s hand, that happens later. Beginning of the second book I think.

          1. I don’t really remember much of it, maybe I did finish and there was one of those next book teaser chapters at the end. I do recall thinking that there was no way I was gonna read much more of this if it doesn’t get better and I didn’t so it must not have.

        3. King is a terrible terrible writer 70% of the time.

          1. Yahbut, 90% of everything is crap, so kudos to Stevie for that extra 20% of good shit.

    3. I’m not sure how I feel about the casting choices they’ve announced… I just… I don’t … I want to believe!

    4. It KILLS me that I’m going to have to keep quiet about McConaughey’s character for so long because it’s gonna be awesome if/when they get to that reveal.

  13. First Domino’s and now Starbuck’s opening in Italy.

    “…Starbucks history is directly linked to the way the Italians created and executed the perfect shot of espresso,” said Howard Schultz, chief executive of Starbucks. “Everything that we’ve done sits on the foundation of those wonderful experiences many of us have had in Italy, and we’ve aspired to be a respectful steward of that legacy for 45 years. Now we’re going to try, with great humility and respect, to share what we’ve been doing and what we’ve learned through our first retail presence in Italy.”

    Just a guess, but I think they both can succeed.

    http://www.morningstar.com/new…..aunch.html

    1. Starbucks.

    2. If I want to drink over-priced espresso I will just visit an illy cafe in Italy thank you very much.

      1. Why wouldn’t you just drink it in a Starbucks in Sheboygan?

      2. But Illy is actually good?

    3. I don’t know about Italy specifically, but most European countries now including UK, Americans can study and pay full freight, and it’s still cheaper than a 50%+ scholarship at an American university. So American kids flood these old Italian towns and they want their Domino’s when drunk.

    4. You’re just mad because Italy hasn’t had good pizza in 5 generations.

      1. *blocks Free Society*

        1. That’s alright, people claiming to have eaten anything resembling pizza on that god forsaken peninsula are either liars or rapists. Usually both at the same time.

          1. Meh.

            My cousins own restaurants in France and Italy. I spent quite a bit of time exploring the culinary landscape – including SIAL – in both countries. My experience is definitely not yours.

            1. There’s much cuisine to love. But alas, nota gooda apizza. Fact. Science.

              1. Sigh. To *you*. Curious, how many places have you tried and visited? I’ve had terrible pizza in the USA just like I’ve had excellent. They generally claim to import their ingredients, machines/ovens and techniques from Italy.

                Again, just me, I had awesome pizza in several places. Calabria, Lucca, Sorrento etc.. All very good.

                Each, of course, giving their own twist to things.

                1. Sigh. To *you*.

                  *longer more audible sigh* I was hoping you’d pick up on my over-the-top claims of ‘absolute truth’ on this inherently subjective matter. I don’t literally believe it’s an absolute truth.

                  Curious, how many places have you tried and visited?

                  Milan, Genoa, Venice and Rome. Never got farther south than Rome. Milan was the worst. None of it was good which I found surprising. I never claimed to have sampled everything everywhere, I don’t live there after all. But you’d think that after going to the homeland of pizza you wouldn’t have to work hard to find a decent slice of it. And I didn’t go to some gloryhole in the wall restaurant next to the train station, but perhaps I should have apparently.

                  1. I’ll give you Venice.

                    Strange stuff I saw there.

          2. Personally, I got nothing against Dom and Star going over. If they succeed all the power to them. Markets speak, right?

            I’ve been known to pick up the occasional Domino’s and happen to think Starbucks (though pricey) is not a bad coffee – although someone *should* show them how to use those fancy Italian espresso machines ‘comme il faut’. Sometimes I want to hop in the back and do it.

            1. The Itals win on espresso and they actually call it espresso, unlike Starbucks employees that call it expresso and I’m by no means butthurt that Dominos gets a bad rap in Italy. I was just thoroughly disappointed in the pizza landscape there. Germany actually had some of the better pizza offerings that I’ve sampled over there.

              Also never buy pizza from a Turkish restaurant, they put walnuts and all kinds of shit on there. I told the guy hat I didn’t order walnuts and cucumber on my pizza, he said it comes standard, you have to ask not to have those items. I was flummoxed.

              1. never buy pizza from a Turkish restaurant

                Holds true in the UK too, though Berlin probably has more crap Turkish pizzerias than anywhere on the planet.

                1. Germans have more Turks, so I think they might have more Turkish pizzerias. But they should stick to kebabs and doenners.

                  1. *misread your post. Yes Berlin probably does have more Turkish pizza than Turkey itself does.

                2. Honestly, I only eat East Asian food in Britain.

                  1. Chinese food in the Netherlands is not terrible, but it’s noticeably different in a bad way.

            2. Starbucks is palatable. Dominos is terrible, terrible pizza. The worst. It’s the Ben & Jerry’s of pizza, and if they hadn’t been the first to jump on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles making pizza popular with kids in the late 80’s and early 90’s, they’d have been bankrupt a decade ago.

              1. At least they dropped “pizza” from their name.

              2. I’ve got the opposite. Dominos is marginally edible. Starbucks is burnt coffee, so it’s bad.

          3. Worst pizza I ever had was in Italy. Granted, it was the German speaking part of Italy, but still.

      2. OK, I had placed joe, shreek, and John in my “Most Retarded” category, and Nikki in my “Worst.” Congratulations, you just displaced them all.

  14. Seriously, does the diversity crowd know there are other black actors in Hollywood besides Idris Elba? It’s not fair that every white character made into a black one gets to be played by one black dude.

    1. Well, name a Hollywood Othello other than Orson Wells…

      1. Lawrence Fishburne?

        1. Damn you…..!!!

          Seriously, I meant from back in the day.

        2. Does Alex Guiness in Lawrence of Arabia count?

          1. Alec. Fuck you autocorrect

      2. His slightly more pretentious cousin Orson Welles

        1. You mean the famous one?

    2. It is going to make all the ranting against the honkies in the sequel pretty fucking confusing.

      1. I’ll bet they cast a white actress as Susannah.

        1. I’m not sure she could get away shouting any other racial slur every other line. Although if ahe went Tropic Thunder she could probably get away with it.

        2. Nah. It’ll be the chick from Scandal.

    3. Short memory, dude. What about Morgan Freeman in Bruce Almighty?

    4. It is like you have never heard of Morris Chestnut.

    5. Q Tip was Ford Prefect in the forgettable Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

      1. I thought that was Tricky, not Q-Tip?

        1. Double Wrong. It was Mos Def

          1. Correct

            Q-tip is 10,000X the artist

            1. Wrong, they’re both excellent.

        2. It looks like Irish has a couple of admirers.

          1. Does this Irish guy have a newsletter I can subscribe to?

            1. Subscriptions are impossible because it’s mostly just passed out at Klan meetings and places collectors exchange their Hitler paraphernalia.

          2. Where is confusing Q Tip and Mos Def on the racism scale?

            1. They all like alike! I get it. I am like that with sorority girls.

        3. Tricky was in the 5th Element.

          1. I thought that was Kevin Hart

          2. No, that was Chris Rock.

            1. I was kidding.

              Who could forget the guy who played RU-BY! ROD!

            2. No, it was Samuel L. Jackson.

              1. Get these motherfucking Zorg off this motherfucking spaceliner!!

                1. Ahh!! Fail!

                  Zorg was the guy who hired the Mangalore to steal the stones.

                  1. Excellent pedantry. I approve wholeheartedly.

            3. Chris Tucker, hEllo

    6. The English seem to come up with better quality actors on average. American actors are mostly eye candy and train wrecks

      1. Dwayne Johnson has a sad.

      2. The Aussies and Kiwis are doing pretty well also.

      3. Brits work harder at the craft.

      4. To be fair, Brits have to learn a decent American accent to work, unless they’re the Transporter guy. Statham?

        1. Statham doesn’t have to learn any accent for anything. He should’ve been Mandela instead of Freeman.

      5. Isn’t it funny that half the cast of Walking Dead is British?

  15. Jesse Ventura Ready to “Save the Country” if Bernie Sanders Loses Democratic Nomination

    Former Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura said Monday that he is willing to step into the presidential race if Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders doesn’t win the presidential nomination.

    “They’re setting the groundwork for me because if Bernie loses, by the time we get to June, how sick are the people going to be of all these people,” the former professional wrestler and Navy SEAL told the Daily Beast.

    1. Presidential election: Clinton v. Trump v. Bloomberg v. Johnson v. [Insert Republican Third Party Candidate Here] v. Ventura. Bring it on.

      1. Vince McMahon is obviously pulling all the steings. America should have just let his wife have Connecticut.

    2. BATTLE ROYALE.

      Seriously, we need a Thunderdome for politics. Enough of Democracy. Last man alive wins. You *really* have to want to be President to get elected. As an added bonus, we get to kill off every other sack of shit that thinks they deserve to rule us.

      1. *Or women.

      2. People thought I was nuts when I proposed dueling as a legitimate political tool.

        I have yet to hear how voting is more true, accurate, or moral.

      3. That’s a little harsh. We can have democracy, but if you want to appeal the results, you have to resort to trial by combat. Then our politics can be like every fucking Bioware/Obsidian plot.

    3. AMERICA DON’T HAVE TIME TO BLEED!

    4. Presidential Smackdown!!!

    5. Where can I buy popcorn futures? 🙂

    6. I hope that happens.

  16. Lil’ Taco is not going to be the GOP nominee. Of course JEB! won’t either. That makes the bet between me and Florida Man moot.

    1. Ah, PB. Once again showing your casual racism.

      1. It’s not racism when progtard leftists do it because they have all the right intentions at heart.

      2. You think someone should remind him that the guy is Cuban? He should have went with L’il Mojo, which works better on so many levels.

      3. Shike is not racist!

        Lacking sentience, it lacks the cognitive ability to form racist concepts in its mind.

        Every concept in its comments are accidental; it regurgitates shit written by sentient humans on here based on a ‘feeling’. That feeling is the product of its neural net constantly learning which sequences of letters copied off the Internet elicit the greatest reaction.

        Since proggies are casually racist, and proggie ideas are pretty much guaranteed to generate verbose responses, it is saying racist shit.

        But it has no idea what its posts mean. They are merely sequences of strings that its neural net has learned are most likely to elicit a response.

    2. Pay up or shut up.

    3. Better yet, pay up AND shut up.

    4. OH HEY I GET IT YOU CALL HIM LILTACO BEING REFERENCE TO RUBIO BECAUSE HE IS TEH MEXICAN AND MAXICANS EAT TACOS THATS CLEVER ITS LIKE ALL THEY DO IS SIT AROUND EATING TACOS AMIRTIE!!!! MOAR WALLZ!!!!

      1. In my defense, I ate a lot of tlacoyos in MX, too.

      2. Isn’t he Cuban? Does the troll not know that Cuban cuisine is not tacos?

        One Media Noche, please.

    5. PB is a living example of the left getting a pass on racism, which because it so casually goes unchecked, is a far more poisonous variety than anything uttered by David Duke.

    6. Agreed. Marco is not going to win, but my horse came closer to the finish line than yours. Not that that is anything to brag about.

  17. Soon Robby-links will be reduced to a single sentence of something he overheard during lunch.

    Bin Laden Memoirs = Climate Change is the True Jihad

    1. Interesting.

      Progs: See, climate change is so serious that even icky jihadis were on board!!!1!

      Everyone Else: He saw it for the scam it was and this was just another way of engineering the downfall of America.

    2. I’m choosing to not read this nonsense, and instead I’ll simply say “see, Bin Laden was a progressive.” Because progressives are evil, tyranical little zealots who have a lot in common with Jihadists.

    3. Bin Laden knew how to market slavery of the untermensch to progs. That’s the long and the short of it.

  18. Meanwhile, in Venezuela:

    Venezuela’s Supreme Court limits parliament’s oversight powers

    Caracas (AFP) – Venezuela’s Supreme Court stripped the opposition-dominated legislature of key oversight powers Tuesday in a ruling aimed at thwarting moves to change the makeup of the high court.

    The opposition, which is seeking a legal means to oust President Nicolas Maduro, accuses him of packing the court with allies to bolster his embattled leftist government.

    The Supreme Court ruling took away the National Assembly’s power to remove justices, and declared unconstitutional a parliamentary review of the lame duck appointments of 34 judges to the Supreme Court.

    Pro-government legislators approved the mass appointments in December days before relinquishing control of the assembly to the opposition, which won legislative elections by a landslide earlier that month.

    1. of the lame duck appointments of 34 judges to the Supreme Court.

      Better not to let Barry know about this.

      1. Makes FDR look like a slacker

    2. The opposition, which is seeking a legal means to oust President Nicolas Maduro, accuses him of packing the court with allies to bolster his embattled leftist government.

      You know who else wanted to pack the court with allies to bolster his embattled leftist government?

    3. The opposition, which is seeking a legal means to oust President Nicolas Maduro, accuses him of packing the court with allies to bolster his embattled leftist government.

      Well, good thing they straightened him out on that.

    1. LIZARD KINGS!

    2. Maybe they were from Trump.

      Or Doug Fairbanks.

      1. There were some amazing stunts done in that cave…

    3. This is just like that one or two or three Lovecraft stories.

  19. super

  20. Sometimes cops gotta do cop shit even when they’re on vacation.

    He’s from Chicago-land so I assume he’s still getting paid.

    1. Asem Dghem?

      Damned near killed’em.

    1. It was a matter of time and I recall us mentioning this.

      It happened in hockey where body checking was banned and heading in soccer.

      Then they wonder why A) they can’t take a clean hit in the pros and react violently and B) the rash of injuries.

    2. There’s some good preliminary evidence that banning helmets and limiting tackling in practice lowers incidence of head injuries. I’m not sure the Ivies actually tackle anyone on purpose as it is.

      1. Banning helmets in games would help too.

    3. Fight Fiercely, Harvard!

      Fight fiercely, harvard,
      Fight, fight, fight!
      Demonstrate to them our skill.
      Albeit they possess the might,
      Nonetheless we have the will.
      How we shall celebrate our victory,
      We shall invite the whole team up for tea
      (how jolly!)
      Hurl that spheroid down the field, and
      Fight, fight, fight!

      Read more: Tom Lehrer – Fight Fiercely, Harvard! Lyrics | MetroLyrics

      1. When we played Harvard:

        H… A… AHHH…
        H… A… AHHH…
        H… A… AHHH…
        wit a VEEE!
        V… A… AHHH….
        V… A… AHHH….
        V… A… AHHH….
        wit a DEEE!
        HAH-VAHD! HAH-VAHD! *squeeee*

    4. This is ridiculous if it includes summer practice and spring practice.

      However, if I were a football coach, I’d do something pretty close: 1 day of full contact per week for the first half of the season, on a week-by-week basis. Maybe 2 during a bye week.

      By the time the second half of the season is on you though, letting bodies (and brain cases) fully recuperate seems like more of a benefit to me. And if you don’t know how to hit by then, you probably aren’t going to learn that season anyways.

    5. I don’t think teams really tackle in practice during the season. Even during fall camp, tackling reserved for scrimmages

    6. So, they’re just going to practice with a center and 2 guards?

  21. Alright alright… no White House Burning… this time…

  22. “Under My Thumb” Takes New Meaning = Rolling Stones to Perform In Cuba

    1. Hell’s Angels to provide security?

  23. Congressman: FBI Is Exploiting Tragedy to Push Its Encryption Agenda

    “Rep. John Conyers (D-Mich.)[…] suggested that the government is trying to exploit a terrorist attack to expand its surveillance programs.

    STFU, the government would NEVER do something like that.

    He said he believes the government’s choice to ask a federal magistrate to provide special access, instead of asking Congress, has to do with a letter obtained by the Washington Post last year. That letter was written by Director of National Intelligence general counsel Robert Litt.

    “The legislative environment is very hostile today,” Litt wrote in the memo. “It could turn in the event of a terrorist attack or criminal event where strong encryption can be shown to have hindered law enforcement.”

    “I’m deeply concerned by this cynical mindset, and I would be deeply disappointed if it is found that the government was exploiting a national tragedy,” Conyers said.

    That’s either the most Pollyannaish statement ever or some well crafted false naivete.

    1. I didn’t know Conyers was good on this issue.

      1. Me neither. I was pretty pleased seeing it.

      2. I think this is the senility talking. I mean, I’ll take it but still…

      3. He’s good on lots of things. He’s also bad on lots of things.

    2. When I think “Conyers,” I think Snowman going in to pick up a load of manure until The Bandit talks him into going westbound and down.

      So I’m glad that there’s a Conyers story that doesn’t involve shit.

    1. seriously, watch the whole thing for the bowing and weeping bits at the end

      1. Don’t need to… it’s depressing. I saw a documentary about a group that went into N. Korea to provide some eye surgery for poor peasants.

        After receiving the surgery, one peasant bowed and scraped for five full minutes promising to double his efforts in the salt mines (I shit you not) in thanks to Glorious Leader for making such benevolent surgery available.

        1. saw the same thing here

    2. I’ve got a great idea…lets go to the most insane country in the world and try to steal political shit.

      What a fucking retard.

    3. Meh, a little overboard on the crying.

    4. Wa- Boo Hoo- Wa

      1. booooooooooooooooooooooo

        This is no Haven Monahan

        1. Haven Monohan. Yeah, THAT guy should be in North Korea

    5. The question the thing raises for me =

      If NK uses American citizens like this, are they doing so over the strenuous objection of US diplomatic personnel? or does the State Dept just yawn and go, “Do what you want, Jong-Un”?

      I know its intentional provocation, but is state really so toothless?

      1. I know its intentional provocation, but is state really so toothless?

        I have two words for you:

        John Kerry

      2. I know its intentional provocation, but is state really so toothless?

        Yes.

    6. trying to steal a propaganda slogan

      A slogan like “A Future We Can Believe In”?

    7. Did they charge him for that shirt/tie combo?

    8. They probably coached him to do exactly that and told him if he didn’t play his role correctly, he’d be punished.

  24. Suck a dick Florida Man. Texas Mom wants her crown back.

      1. mmm, meth

    1. What did I ever do to you? Also, no one owns the crown, they just hold it temporarily.

      1. its not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturer of insane activity.

    2. Isn’t that Texas woman the lead singer of Aerosmith?

      1. Dude looks like an old lady. I guess that shit on his fave is supposed to discourage that?

  25. Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey are confirmed to star as Roland and the Man in Black, respectively.

    Cary Elwes wasn’t available?

    1. Cary Elwes is a terrible villain. Terrible. Days of Fucking Thunder?

      1. He was a good villain in Twister.

        1. He played the tornado?

  26. Mental Health Treatment, LAPD-Style

    “”More than a third of people shot by LAPD in 2015 mentally ill: report””

    1. Mentally healthy people know better than to interact with the LAPD.

    2. That seems low given the general population.

  27. David Stockman on you-know-who.

    Yet after decades in Washington they and most of their Senate colleagues have accomplished nothing that resembles the old Republican verities. In fact, during 2000-2006 when Republicans controlled the Congress and the White House, not a single welfare state program or agency was eliminated or even reformed, while vast new expansions of education, Medicare, agriculture, alternative energy subsides and much more were piled on the pre-existing heap of state.

    Stockman is kinda a litmus test for me. Or a dog whistle, I can’t remember which.

    1. Yet down to the last nuance of his insipid neocon worldview and monotonous recitation of the American Exceptionalism catechism, he [Rubio] might as well have been born in Washington of GS-16 parents, not Cuban refugees, raised as a Congressional page, and apprenticed to the Speaker of the US House rather than serving as the same in the backwaters of Tallahassee.

      It is hard to know if it’s intentional or not, but talk about litmus tests. There are only 15 grades of the General Schedule, so there are no “GS-16s”. But if you were to point that out…

      1. Wow. Way to piss off the few people in Florida who agree with you. Tallahasseeans view themselves as an island of enlightened culture in a state full of racists and old conservative Jews. Plus I sat two rows behind Burt Reynolds at a Willie Nelson show in Tallahassee. If that ain’t culture, kiss my ass.

    2. I only know him from a very-good piece about the bullshit behind “Infrastructure Spending”.

      What’s his deal?

    3. The War Party in Washington and Tel Aviv has spent the last 30-years constructing a tissue of lies about the Iranian regime because both need an enemy in order to mobilize their domestic constituencies. The truth is that despite its theocratic rebuke of Imperial Washington after the bloody and thieving reign of the Shah was peacefully ended, the Iranians have never aspired to nuclear weapons, do not conduct a remote fraction of the terrorism inflicted by Washington’s drones, bombs and cruise missiles, and have never threatened the safety and security of the American people.

      I don’t know who this guy is, and I can’t say he’s wrong about everything, but that is just some straight up nonsense right there.

      1. He says a number of broadly-true things before going one-toke over the line there.

        The first sentence there, for instance.

        Whether or not Iran has been a major sponsor of terror (they have) and whether or not they’d like to have nukes (they do), Iran has indeed been used as a replacement for the Soviet Union to justify all sorts of fucking moronic policy in the ME.

        1. I would also say that Israel has a bit more to worry about where Iran is concerned, and so bringing up “Tel Aviv” smacks more of “JOOS!” than thoughtful analysis.

          1. Tel Aviv has indeed spent the last 30 years lying about Iran. That’s a fact.

  28. The wit and wisdom of John F. Kerry:

    Fight Against Radicalization Begins in Our Own Neighborhoods, Secretary John Kerry Says

    Secretary of State John Kerry spoke to city leaders from around the world today as they gathered for a workshop on how to counter violent extremism in local communities.

    “There can be no doubt that the fight against radicalization begins not on distant battlefields, but in our own neighborhoods, classrooms, workplaces, houses of worship, and homes,” Kerry said to the participants gathered at the State Department.

    The Strong Cities Network, which launched last September at the United Nations, aims to empower city leaders to collaborate and learn from one another as they develop strategies to prevent their community’s young people from being attracted to extremist ideologies.

    Kerry told the workshop today in Washington, D.C., that 35 cities from across the globe are part of the effort and are already seeing results.

    “For example, Danish cities are partnering with Amman, Beirut and Tunis to share their experience mobilizing all the tools of local government for prevention and de-radicalization,” he said.

    1. Right. It’s the western proggy’s job to make sure Muslims are not made to account for their own culture, their own people and their own crimes. The white man’s burden is getting awfully burdensome.

    2. ” Danish cities are partnering with Amman, Beirut and Tunis to share their experience mobilizing all the tools of local government for prevention and de-radicalization”

      Because that’s gone so well in Beirut and Tunis.

      1. You know how most Arab counties have historically tried to “de-radicalize” their islamists?

        torture, murder

        1. Seemed to have been working pretty well until the west started toppling the torturing murderers.

          1. Tell that to Sadat

    1. More Brexit scaremongering. I think the Brexit would go okay. Probably the UK would then get some concessions and not leave after all.

      1. I know, i just thought the idea of the Greek finance minister giving people ‘advice’ was cute.

    2. You misspelled shite.

  29. What do you guys think of the PINAC activists that deliberately stir up shit and often bait cops into confrontations?

    In this case, it sounds like the first cop was a pretty good guy. The second one was run of the mill asshole.

    1. The first cop was not a good guy. He accused the activist of a non-crime, and used that as pretext to illegally detain him and illegally demand identification. He may have had a nice demeanor, but he was still abusing his power.

      As far as what I think of the activists, I think they’re suicidal. I’m surprised they aren’t killed on a regular basis for failure to obey.

      1. He is allowed under Texas law to request to see the CHL of someone open carrying. As for the “non-crime,” it was a busy highway which probably put him in violation of 552.007.

        The second cop abused his power. The first one was reasonable and within his rights.

        1. He is allowed under Texas law to request to see the CHL of someone open carrying.

          That wasn’t why he was being harassed. Had the confrontation initially been about the open carry, then I might be inclined to agree. But it wasn’t.

          As for the “non-crime,” it was a busy highway which probably put him in violation of 552.007.

          Sec. 552.007. SOLICITATION BY PEDESTRIANS. (a) A person may not stand in a roadway to solicit a ride, contribution, employment, or business from an occupant of a vehicle, except that a person may stand in a roadway to solicit a charitable contribution if authorized to do so by the local authority having jurisdiction over the roadway.

          (b) A person may not stand on or near a highway to solicit the watching or guarding of a vehicle parked or to be parked on the highway.

          (c) In this section, “charitable contribution” means a contribution to an organization defined as charitable by the standards of the United States Internal Revenue Service.

          Nope. Not seeing it.

        2. He wasn’t soliciting, so I fail to see how he was violating that statute.

          1. I meant .006. Sorry for the typo. He cannot just stand there. The law speaks of him “walking along” the highway. Also, Texas law defines restricted access roads as “freeways” so I’d have to see the statute on that. But I can assure you that people here are not allowed to walk along the highways if a frontage road is adjacent to it…and you can see it behind him, where he parked.

            Sorry, but assholes like this guy make it harder for decent cops to be decent and for law-abiding people to fer away with a mistake or oversight. It causes cops to be on edge and treat everybody like an asshole.

            1. There are no decent cops. The fact that they surround themselves with power abusers is evidence enough. And if you ever heard a cop who you thought was decent talking with his buddies after a few drinks, you would fear for your life every time you came into contact with a police officer.

    2. “What do you guys think of the PINAC activists that deliberately stir up shit and often bait cops into confrontations?”

      I think they’re fucking morons. They’re discrediting the real victims, and giving cops justification for treating everyone like they’re ‘starting shit’.

      that said, i think they’ve done good stuff in the past. Its just that “Activism” crosses a line when it comes to ginning-up “problems” where they don’t exist on their own

      e.g. this classic example

  30. Favorite George Kennedy movie moment/character/film? Cool Hand Luke is the easy choice (and probably the correct answer), but he was so funny in the Naked Gun movies. He was even great in a smaller role in The Dirty Dozen.

    1. The skipper on Gillian’s Island.

      1. No..

    2. I just looked at his entire career and the only one I had feelings about other than the ones mentioned was “The Eiger Sanction”

    3. Dragline in Cool Hand Luke is the easy and the correct choice.

  31. L O fucking L

    This video is better than the weepy bastard in North Korea.

    1. Whatever sloopy, listen and believe.

    2. Archetypal Hillary voter

    3. Uh, would?

      Can I get a ruling on this?

  32. “After she was arrested in her green scrubs, Wellner burst into tears and threw a fit about being handcuffed, punctuating her griping with medical jargon, the police source said.

    “She started complaining that they were too tight. She wanted to sound smart, like she was above us all, and she made some comment that ‘It’s hurting the such-and-such nerve in my hand,’?” the source said.”

    1. I have two friends with permanent nerve damage from handcuffs. If the cuffs are too tight, it is best to keep it to yourself unless you want the cops to tighten them even more.

    2. Bullies don’t like it when the smart kids show off their knowledge.

    3. But pigs punctuate their bullshit testilying with medical jargon, too.

  33. Idris Elba is badass and all, but he ain’t fucking Roland Deschain. Roland is supposed to look a little like Stephen King. I guess I get it (cuz Idris is fuckin’ awesome!), but this seens more like a PC move than casting the right actor in the role.

    1. I always saw the Gunslinger as more of a… Clint Eastwood type, but fuller figured instead of so gangly.

      1. He was pretty explictly modelled on Eastwood’s Man With No Name character from the Spaghetti Westerns.

        1. They mention that he has Eastwood’s eyes at a few points in the narrative. He’s supposed to be raw-boned, whether that’s due to his natural build, or from chasing the guy in black for X years through the desert, I dunno.

          At least Elba’s thin?

  34. It’s time to be pragmatic. I swear to Jesus, if any of you pussy cosmo faggots don’t vote Trump , I’m going to come to your house and assfuck your wife in front of you. #mostimportantelectioninourlives

      1. It doesn’t count if you love it, you butt slut.

        1. #cumpservatives2016

        2. WELL THANKS FOR CLARIFYING NOW

    1. You’re starting to sound like Winston

  35. Stolen from Banjos:

    “Obama has a secret kill list that includes American citizens.

    Media: *crickets*

    Edward Snowden leaks documents showing that the NSA has been gathering all American email communications.

    Media: Kill that traitor Snowden!

    The government tries to compel Apple to create a backdoor into all their phones rendering the security of their phones useless.

    Media: Apple is UnAmerican!

    Trump says the government needs to enforce current immigration laws and temporarily ban immigration from terrorist hotbed countries until our intelligence improves.

    Media: HE’S THE SECOND COMING OF HITLER!!!!!!

    1. You know who the first coming of Hitler was?

      1. Pharaoh?

    2. Principals, not principles.

  36. How Muslim women are winning the 2016 campaign

    First, Remaz Abdelgader, a senior at George Mason University, got Bernie Sanders to address Islamophobia last November. The aspiring human rights attorney observed:

    “As an American Muslim student who aspires to change this world, hearing the rhetoric that’s going on in the media makes me sick. … So to the next president of the United States, what do you think about that?”

    1. What did he say? Something about billionaires and oligarchy and corporations?

    2. Something about a beam and a speck?

      In a perfect world….

    3. Something does not add up here.

      This woman, a Muslim wearing the hijab, has a strange man’s arm around her shoulders. What version of Islam does she follow, exactly?

      1. What version of Islam does she follow, exactly?

        The Mia Khalifa madhhab.

        1. I’m not sure that’s what the Imams meant by “cover her face if she should not cover herself. “

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