Rubio Versus Trump, Shooting in Kansas, Libertarian Party Problems in Arkansas: A.M. Links

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  1. For what it’s worth, Sen. Marco Rubio got in a few decent jabs at Donald Trump during last night’s Republican presidential debate…

    It ain’t worth nothing.

    1. WHERE MY FRIDAY FUNNIES GONE??!!!

      Good morning, Rufus and Fist.

      1. Maybe you all bitched about them so much they discontinued them.

        1. Serves us right, I guess…..

          *looks down forlornly, kicks pebble*

          1. Some punishments are earned, you monsters.

            1. Poor Chipimonimous Elowin Bok crying himself to sleep every Friday not because of you assholes…

              1. Not every Friday. Sometimes it’s Payne or some weirdo they picked at random when their go-to’s have gone too Ramirez that week.

                1. I’m a random weirdo. *Draws picture of Bok in Klancone leaning over drawing table*

        2. Be cool, man. Bok hasn’t finished drawing big enough ears on Obama, that’s all.

          1. Bok hasn’t made Obama’s head penis-y enough yet.

            1. To be fair, an actual photo of Bok’s penis would not be penis-y enough.

      2. Picture, if you will, an opening frame where a gross and possibly racist caricature of President Obama is behind the Resolute desk. An unnamed aide is asking about Scotus appointments. The president responds that he’s already picked his nominee. America, meet U.S. Supreme Court Justice Cash for Clunkers II. The last pane widens out to find that the desk is sitting on the 2nd hole at Andrews, where in the background Hillary is forced to hit off the woman’s tee.

        1. Needs moar labels.

        2. Picture if you will, Rod Serling, chain smoking on camera, his delivery a bit wooden, and Shat-like.

    2. Hello.

      “The Tanner family is back.”

      It better have licentious behavior in it.

      1. Bo Jack, guiltily, approves.

      2. Hey. There’s a FIFA guy named TOKYO SEXWALE? Seriously?

        1. He’s “withdrawn” huh huh.

          It’s gonna be hard to top Blatter for sheer chutzpah. Are any of these clowns up to the task?

          1. I will reluctantly step up.

            I will do my very best to take moar bribes, set ludicrous WC locations, fix more pools than Sepp ever could. It is the least I can do to bring renown to the Confederation Helvetica!

            1. Throw in a few platitudes about “diversity” and you’re a shoo-in.

      3. ALF is back? Awesome.

        1. In Pog form.

          1. Hey! I make Simpsons references! That’s the thing that I do!

            I feel like I’m gonna explode here!

      4. It better have licentious behavior in it.

        You got it, dude!

      5. Jodie Sweetin was a drug addict after the original ended, so maybe?

        1. Mr. Tanner should be dating the friend.

  2. Trump has a 97% chance of becoming Prez.

    1. Though there’s only a 10% chance of that.

    2. That sounds like a warmist claim to me.

      1. A New York professor whose formula has proven accurate in every presidential election but one since 1912 says Donald Trump has a 97.6 percent chance ? or better ? of taking the White House if he’s the Republican nominee.

        Political-science Professor Helmut Norpoth, of Stony Brook University on Long Island, created a statistical model for presidential elections using candidates’ primary results and other data to predict the victors, and he’s making Trump an all-but-sure thing this year.

        The prediction wizard told university alumni gathered in Manhattan Monday night that Trump has a 97 percent chance of beating Hillary Clinton and a 99 percent chance of stomping Bernie Sanders, according to the school’s newspaper, The Statesman

        1. Isn’t that a case of the Texas Sharp Shooter fallacy? It’s easy to make a formula that predicts every result that has already occurred, but that doesn’t necessarily say it will predict the future.

          1. The science is settled, you damned dirty denier.

          2. Still a better model than the Settled Climate Science, which can’t even predict the past.

        2. “The Model says so”

          It is a Warmist claim!

        3. So what is the chance when that wrong prediction is factored in?

          1. 60% of the time, it works everytime!

            1. That doesn’t make any sense. *smiles and nods*

              1. Well… Let’s go see if we can make this little kitty purr.

        4. So he created a model based on past elections and for some reason thinks this will predict the future even though past results are no guarantee of future events.

          There’s also something notably different about modern elections that means you can’t use a formula for an election today that you would have used for an election in 1950 – tribalism. In the modern US, there are strong racial preferences for different political parties (whites are more likely to vote Republican, African Americans vote 90% Democratic) and a huge divide between urban and rural areas. Presidents used to win 45 states in elections. Reagan won every state except Minnesota in 1984. It’s impossible for any president to do that in 2016 because of the number of states that are strongly Democratic or strongly Republican.

          As a result, how could a formula that worked in the 80’s possibly work today given those differences? Presidential politics have changed substantially.

          1. how could a formula that worked in the 80’s possibly work today given those differences

            Dunno but it does, apparently. In every election but one since 1912.

            1. And the one it didn’t predict was JFK, the election where supposedly Illinois was possibly fraudulently won by dead voters.

    3. 20% of the time, he’s right every time!

      1. Well, there have been 100 years worth of elections since 1912, so if he missed one, that’s more like “96% of the time, he’s right every time”.

    4. We may as well not even have an election.

  3. The Libertarian Party of Arkansas is battling the state over the ability to add or substitute nominees on the upcoming general-election ballot.

    They want to change to the less palatable candidate at the last possible minute if one presents himself.

    1. +1 bad case of argyria

      1. Ooooh, new word. Thanks.

    2. So did Monica.

  4. I’m at the airport right now to head to New Orleans for my half marathon. Training went well and I ended up raising $5500 for the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation. Thanks again to everyone who donated! I’ll try to enjoy the freedom to gambol and plain with alcohol in hand.

    1. Wow – excellent! Have fun gamboling, and I hope it’s a good run for you.

    2. Good luck and have fun. Admirable cause.

    3. Good luck!

    4. Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation!?!!

      Those ungrateful shits…

    5. hopefully it is your money that cures me!!! You get the credit!!

    6. Good luck, and enjoy your delicious food and liberal open-container laws.

    7. Put the entire $5,000 on black.

  5. “Save us from our own mistakes, Oklahoma…”

    1. This seems like a hard thing to fairly punish. Harm and punishment should be related, but harm is determined nearly completely by the victims feelings in this situation. If you aren’t modest and don’t care that some random person you will never meet can see you naked, then there isn’t any harm done.

      1. I agree. As long as the person involved is an adult, it is hard to see how this shouldn’t be primarily a civil matter. That way the complainant has to prove damages. Now, the state just has to prove to a criminal jury, that the defendant posted the pic/video without the accusers consent. And since the accuser is almost by definition claiming it was done without consent, all the prosecution has to prove is that the defendant was the one who posted it.
        Whatever it takes to make it easier for the state.

  6. Slate is having a conversation about allowing students to substitute programing for a foreign language. This sounds like a fantastic idea to me. Especially considering how few Americans will meet someone who doesn’t speak English.

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/fut…..guage.html

    1. Huh. Interesting. I have no opinion on the merits of the idea yet. To the left, I can’t imagine most Americans go through their entire lives without meeting someone who doesn’t speak English. Though I can get behind the idea that Americans who rarely leave the country will find little utility in a foreign language except Spanish.

      So, maybe refining the question here: Which has more use, both in practicality and cognitive improvement; Spanish or computer programming?

      1. I think that most people won’t use either in their lives and careers. Most will forget how to program just like they forget how to speak French. As far as congnitive improvement, I have found both to be tremendously useful in different ways. Programming helps you learn to think logically and mechanically about problems. Learning other languages helps you understand language an human communications better in general.

        So why not both?

        1. Good point. Although, were I going to college today I’d surely bitch about that requirement.

        2. Yeah, I suspect this is boiling down to which bits of the skill tree you want to develop. I mean, if your gameplay style is Hulk Smash, you’ll have little use for +9 Stealth.

          You know what would be lovely? Schools that focused on the three R’s, and offered marketplace diversity in the many, many other subjects of value.

          1. You know what would be lovely? Schools that focused on the three R’s, and offered marketplace diversity in the many, many other subjects of value.

            Yes.

        3. Larry Wall, the creator of perl, went to a university where you created your own major. He majored in Natural and Artificial Languages.

          Paging Heroic Mulatto: are we sure there is a difference?

          1. Do you think it is possible to write comedy or poetry in a programming language?

            While I think that programming languages are called “languages” for good, sensible reasons, it seems to me that they have quite different functions and purposes from human languages by design.

            1. Depends what you mean by comedy… you can do horrific things with the C preprocessor, which might be considered humorous. And you have programming languages which themselves are humorous — lolcode, whitespace, brainfuck, etc. Code posted to http://www.thedailywtf.com might often qualify as being accidentally comedic. Geek humor, basically.

              Poetry-wise, I have definitely encountered algorithms implemented in ways I’d never have come up with myself, with the feeling being not unlike that experienced when reading a masterful natural-language writing, where the author has inexplicably come up with the perfect turn of phrase. So, it depends on the definition of poetry, I guess.

              1. I guess what I’m getting at is whether you can do those things purely in a programming language without a natural human language as a sort of meta-language.

                I can certainly appreciate elegant mathematics and to a lesser extent, code. Maybe you could call that poetry.

                1. Yeah, I really don’t know. You have things like Tupper’s self-referential formula, which sort of blur the lines…

            2. So I said, “Super-collider? I just met her!” [audience laughs] And then they built the super collider.

      2. In my experience, learning a computer language is very good for honing logical, mathematical, and perhaps most fundamentally, if you end up using it to do non-trivial work, problem-solving ability (since the interfaces between different systems are so often messy, faulty, and poorly documented). Learning a human language is just an entirely different thing, which may tend to foster curiosity both about history, and the similarities and differences in how humans think and relate to one another in different cultures, especially if you are exposed to the culture of the language in question.

      3. Maybe start with computer literacy instead of programming.

        If you can be a wiz at excel, word and powerpoint you’ll have a leg up on those that don’t.

        Programming – just like a foreign language – will be useless for those without the aptitude or inclination to pursue it.

        1. Maybe start with computer literacy instead of programming.

          The main difference is that pretty much every elementary school is doing computer literacy these days. When I was in grade school, if you wanted to work on the computers, you would spend about 1/3 your time doing some sort of BASIC, 1/3 doing Logo (also programming) and then the other 1/3 doing word processing.

          Today, my kids have computer lab twice a week, and it’s all office productivity (google docs, sheets, slides) and learning how to research and source on the web. When we were shopping private schools, only one offered anything in the way of programming, and only at 6th grade. (We ended up moving to a better public district.)

          Honestly, I think that if business students learned .Net or, even better, a declarative scripting language like Ruby- even Javascript- it could help them immensely. In my opinion, the difference between a business analyst who gets projects done quickly and one where every time I check in with him, he’s 30% through data input in a 30,000 line spreadsheet is the ability to do some simple scripting.

          1. JavaScript is an excellent choice these days; it has always had native UI capability when run in a browser, and while it was very frustrating to use ten years ago, that completely changed with the advent of realtime browser debuggers. Furthermore, since it is not strictly object-oriented, it can let person get their feet wet, without fostering too many preconceived notions about programming in general (if you learned in Java or .NET first, you might find it difficult to appreciate higher-order functions, to unlearn the concept of everything deriving from a common root object, and so forth). And finally, it is good for learning at the conceptual level, since it avoids the unnecessary distractions of compiling, linking, dealing with different architectures, OSes, UI frameworks, and so forth.

      4. Maybe they should learn to code in Spanish ?

    2. I’ve got a sister-in-law that fought the college here to recognize ASL as a foreign language, when I went to school they did allow me to substitute programming for the foreign language requirement. Learned about as much from taking a FORTRAN class as I would have from a Spanish class – namely that foreigners talk funny. We tried as hard as possible to make the Indian guy teaching the class use the term “debugger” as often as possible because he pronounced it “de-booger”. Couldn’t understand him half the time.

      1. De Bugger in Indian is a male authority figure that boys intuitively avoid.

    3. This would have been significantly more useful than the 4 years of Spanish I had in high school and the two semesters of French in college. The results of the language instruction are that I can speak French like a two year old and Spanish like a kindergartener, not exactly useful skills unless you’re a substitute teacher or daycare instructor.

    4. However, given the borderless world of the internet, the more proficient you are in programming languages, the more likely it is you will end up finding it useful to know other human languages. I couldn’t say how many programming languages I know, but I never took any foreign language in school; as of late, I’ve been trying to teach myself espa?ol, which I’d always incorrectly assumed would be easy, both because that’s what people take in high school, and because I’ve always been able to pick up a new programming language on-demand and in real time, and (aside from the fact that I decry the concept of public education) I basically agree with everything the written in that article.

    5. I wouldn’t think one is really a substitute for the other. And it’s fairly likely at this point that most Americans will meet someone who speaks Spanish primarily. And while there will certainly be more and more demand for programmers in the future, I don’t really see it becoming a skill that everyone will have and use. Even with all of the technology that people carry around with them these days, most people are still pretty uninterested in how computers actually work (though perhaps that’s a good reason to encourage or require more students to learn some computer sciencey stuff).

      SLD on public schools, but I think encouraging students to study at least some of both programming and foreign language would be good. I know I got quite a lot out of both. I thing that the primary value of learning another language is the understanding of language in general that it helps to develop, whether or not you ever need to use it to communicate.

      1. Even with all of the technology that people carry around with them these days, most people are still pretty uninterested in how computers actually work

        I agree, unfortunately. However, for pretty much any desk job, a little scripting can go a long way. I’ve seen Admins who could script some transformations in an excel sheet for a mass mailing and call center reps who scripted some simple browser plugins to do data gathering from several intranet sites and their impact on the business was greater than being able to speak spanish to a client.

        In all, I think both are important and someone interested in their career should honestly do both.

        1. Encouraging both is definitely a good idea. I don’t think one is a substitute for the other at all.

    6. I don’t disagree, however taking a foreign language in high school helped me immensely with grammar in both languages. That’s why I write so good.

    7. “Who among us can say that they had a thorough understanding of the subjunctive mood or the present perfect before encountering it in a foreign language class?”

      What percentage of people know what the fuck that is even after 4 years of high school Spanish?

      1. If they have learned the amount of Spanish that anyone should be able to learn in 4 years, I’d say close to 100%. Present perfect is first year stuff. The subjunctive mood ought to have been thoroughly covered by the third year.

        Or I could be weird. I find the complicated grammar stuff the most interesting part of studying languages and I really like to learn languages that way.

        1. Present perfect is first year stuff. The subjunctive mood ought to have been thoroughly covered by the third year.

          This is all gobbledygook to me.

          1. This is all gobbledygook to me.

            After seven years of Spanish, everything I hear from latin america and central Iberia is gobbledygook to me.

        2. I just memorized when you should use what type of verb conjugation, but never actually learned the word for that kind of conjugation.

          I did well in Spanish on pure, rote memorization but could never tell you what present perfect actually means.

          1. Listen to Obama on the state of the economy and you’ll get it.

          2. Maybe it’s just me then. I found all that stuff very interesting. I haven’t formally studied Spanish for over 15 years now (though I did spend a week mostly speaking Spanish last fall) and I can still pretty much tell you all about Spanish verbs and their various moods and tenses (even the weird ones that no one uses anymore) and how they are used. It all just sort of clicked for me intuitively.

            I wish I remembered my ancient Greek that well. There’s some neat grammar going on there. But I never really got to the level of competence I did with Spanish (probably helps when you can actually speak the language to someone).

    8. When I went to engineering school in the early 1980s, programming languages were not only allowed but encouraged as substitutes for a foreign language. It could have been because the school started off as an engineering school and, much to the chagrin of the other colleges, was the main focus.

    9. I can’t imagine now wanting to learn both – and multiples of each – but maybe that’s just me.

      1. *not

        Maybe I should learn English better

  7. The Libertarian Party of Arkansas is battling the state over the ability to add or substitute nominees on the upcoming general-election ballot.

    If you wanted to be part of picking and choosing winners then you shouldn’t have become libertarians.

    1. Ow. That’s gonna leave a mark.

    2. So when Hilary is indicted after she wins the nomination, Arkansas won’t let the Democrats swap in Biden’s name, right? Because the law is the law.

    3. I’m OK with that.

  8. Oklahoma aims to be the 27th state to specifically criminalize “revenge porn.”

    I know it when I’m being blackmailed by it.

  9. The Tanner family is back.

    Why?

    1. Nostalgia uber alles!

    2. Nostalgia is the opiate of the masses.

      1. But it wasn’t even any good the first time it was around!

        1. That’s where chasing nostalgia with irony comes in handy.

          1. So that means we’re talking depravity that would make SugarFree claw out his eyes in horror?

        2. When has quality and popularity ever been linked in all cases?

          1. In stalinish math “Quantity has a quality all its own”.

            1. The Command & General Staff College mentions that more than once in their various lessons…

        3. Pre-teen me had a crush on Andrea Barber, aka Kimmy Gibler. Therefore, the show was good.

          Pre-teen me had absolutely no taste.

          1. Kristy McNichol

        4. I was always amazed at that show’s popularity in particular. Everything about it was just terrible, even by shitty sitcom standards.

          1. This. It was completely unwatchable – and with 5 TV channels and no internet I was watching a lot of sitcoms in those days.

      2. 90% income taxes because 1950s prosperity and fair!

        1. I’d really like to see some data on how many people actually ever paid the 90 % rate on any significant part of their income. The notion that those tax rates are at all relevant to the prosperity of the 50s just seems absurd. It certainly can’t have helped.

          1. That rate applied to income over some figure in the millions – so maybe the top 0.001% paid it. Leftists as usual are lying.

    3. Might be better if they made it more of a reality thing…

      Sweetin, 34, published a 2010 memoir, unSweetined, which details her recovery from drug and alcohol addiction

      Bure, 39, has competed on Dancing with the Stars and now co-hosts The View

      1. Her husband is Valeri Bure. That idiot Sadbeard is confused.

    4. I didn’t even realize David Hartman was still alive, and didn’t that show only last for like one year?

  10. Cindy and John McCain are pushing a new federal sex-trafficking bill.

    Jesus Christ, they’re still around?

    1. McCain is being primaried – I wonder how that is going.

      1. Without Matt Salmon running, McCain’s in the clear, unfortunately. I don’t think Kelli Ward is turning too many heads.

        Which means he’ll keep his seat, as Kirkpatrick is trailing in every poll I’ve seen.

    2. Cotton Hill is a survivor.

      1. -2 knees

    3. When a politician’s wife gets involved in something like this it’s never a good sign – Hillarycare, censoring song lyrics, etc.

    4. How many different ways can they make kidnapping and involuntary servitude be illegal?
      For FFS, every raid either the state/local police or the Feds pull, nets few, if any true victims of sexual trafficking.
      I mean I get the politics (in with both socons and progs). But talk about a solution looking for a problem!

      1. ^This. But try convincing hysterics otherwise.

        1. I know. Pants-shitters come in every size and flavor.

      2. How many different ways can they make kidnapping and involuntary servitude be illegal?

        In every way except when the government does it.

    5. Who?

  11. I showed a beautiful young girl one of the greatest things in the universe this morning. She enjoyed it and wanted more.

    1. You left off the “Dear Penthouse…”

    2. Bacon, egg, and cheese on a biscuit?

      1. Hot Brown.

        1. When SugarFree says “hot brown,” he does not mean what you want “hot brown” to mean. Even though he is from Kentucky and should know better.

    3. Your writing?

      1. Impossible. He says she enjoyed it.

      2. It was the fight scene from They Live.

        1. SugarFree I’m giving you a choice: either put on these glasses or start eatin’ that trash can.

          Beautiful Young Girl: Not this year!

    4. Your black hole?

    5. Everyone wanted more Spartacus: Blood and Sand but they only made those three seasons and the prequel.

    6. She enjoyed it and wanted more.

      So how disappointed was she to find out they never did a sequel to Big Trouble In Little China?

      1. Little Trouble in Big China?

    7. Please don’t leave us hanging, Sug.

    8. She enjoyed it and wanted more.

      More than 3 inches.

    9. How did you get a picture of my tumescence ?

  12. Lego in search for sustainable alternatives

    J?rgen Vig Knudstorp, CEO and President of the LEGO Group, says:
    “This is a major step for the LEGO Group on our way towards achieving our 2030 ambition on sustainable materials. We have already taken important steps to reduce our carbon footprint and leave a positive impact on the planet by reducing the packaging size, by introducing FSC certified packaging and through our investment in an offshore wind farm. Now we are accelerating our focus on materials.”

    Legos are gonna suck now.

    1. Those little dudes always had round mouths.

    2. More proof that Scandinavians have lost all semblance of their fierce history.
      Valhalla must be a lonely place these days.

      1. So you deny the Sons of Odin are your relatives?

    3. Legos are gonna suck now.

      For the kids yeah, but legos that crumble to easily vacuumed up sand when stepped on by parents rather than embedding themselves in the heel will practically sell themselves!

    4. Sure they’ll cost more and each package will be full of duds that don’t fit together properly but the smug is worth it.

    5. Wait, if you’re making the LEGOs out of petroleum products, aren’t you helping to keep that carbon out of the atmosphere?

  13. Cindy and John McCain are pushing a new federal sex-trafficking bill.

    Of course they are.

    1. McCain is fucking terrible

      1. And why isn’t he dead yet.

        1. He receives daily injections of badger blood to keep him alive.

          1. Evidently.

    2. I’m not sure the Federal government should be involved in sex trafficking. Better to let the free market find the going rate for white slavery.

  14. For what it’s worth, Sen. Marco Rubio got in a few decent jabs at Donald Trump during last night’s Republican presidential debate, while Ben Carson just wanted to talk about “the fruit salad of life” and moderator Wolf Blitzer found his safe space in Ohio Gov. John Kasich, who took the opportunity to call for Kim Jong-Un’s removal and show off his hands. Full transcript here.

    What is Cruz, chopped moose?

    1. You better start being nice to them Canuckistans wonderful neighbors to the North – after November you’re going to need somewhere to flee to and you’re going to want all the friends you can get to help you escape. If I were you I’d start learning how to speak Canadish. And developing a taste for hockey, back bacon, Molson and Anne Murray couldn’t hurt. Also, try to be polite, act white, dress warmly.

  15. Cindy, quit using your motherfucking trafficking concern to fuck with goddamn ethical passion. Parlaying tragedy between the sheets is political rape of the bedroom.

  16. Metal. New album by Oranssi Pazuzu.

    1. Lie nude in a cold hallway, let the shadows fall down, and you will hear the roar of wolves scratching dreams through the gasping winds of stars tearing at the edges of the universe.

      1. Someone heard about my weekend plans…

        1. A date with the Hounds of Tindalos?

      2. Jim Morrison would have made that 100% rhymier and 33% poutier.

  17. The party has sued Arkansas Secretary of State Mark Martin for enforcing a 2015 law that required the party to hold its nominating convention in October, four months before the Democrat and Republican primaries on March 1. The Libertarian Party said that the early timetable put its candidates at a disadvantage, compared with the major-party candidates, because it didn’t allow potential Libertarian candidates as much time to consider running for office and didn’t allow the party much of a chance to get to know the contenders before choosing nominees.

    I guess I’m naive, but why does a state have the right to tell any political party how it has to elect its candidates down to the specificity of the type of process it is?

    1. So the rep/dem’s don”t have to worry about people from their own party jumping over to a third party if they lose their own nomination and “SPLITTING THE VOTE” which is one of the worse things possible because it causes people to “WASTE THEIR VOTE” and not vote for legitimate candidates like those of the rep/dem party

      1. The name “Democratic-Republican Party” is available – they should just make it official.

  18. The shooter in Kansas was a Christian who was “obsessed” with guns, so USA Today tells me. Race oddly left out.

    1. In any event, thank God it wasn’t terrorism!

    2. Was he a black guy?

        1. That is the correct page

        2. He’s a Florida Man by birth.

      1. Oh, that’s not good for the narrative.

      2. He was a black guy acting white. The worst kind.

        1. Straight up Uncle Tom.

    3. I posted a link to his facebook page last night on the klan article. video of him shooting up a corfield with his ak variant. Several pictures of that gun and also full size glock with extensed mag. He was posting music videos that morning. Employee interviewed on their local news last night who lived next store to him said he had some mental issues

    4. We at least know he wasn’t Muslim since the spin isn’t “workplace violence”. Even though it happened at his place of work. Therefore, Christian.

  19. GOP created the rules causing their problem. With proportional delegates and less restrictive nomination rules, trump would get about 1/3 of the delegates and they would have a Cruz/ Rubio or Rubio/ Cruz ticket on 18th ballot.

    Or, the GOP version if James K Polk.

    1. In 1844, the Democrats were split
      The three nominees for the presidential candidate
      Were Martin Van Buren, a former president and an abolitionist
      James Buchanan, a moderate
      Louis Cass, a general and expansionist
      From Nashville came a dark horse riding up
      He was James K. Polk, Napoleon of the Stump

      Austere, severe, he held few people dear
      His oratory filled his foes with fear
      The factions soon agreed
      He’s just the man we need
      To bring about victory
      Fulfill our manifest destiny
      And annex the land the Mexicans command
      And when the votes were cast the winner was
      Mister James K. Polk, Napoleon of the Stump

      In four short years he met his every goal
      He seized the whole southwest from Mexico
      Made sure the tarriffs fell
      And made the English sell the Oregon territory
      He built an independent treasury
      Having done all this he sought no second term
      But precious few have mourned the passing of
      Mister James K. Polk, our eleventh president
      Young Hickory, Napoleon of the Stump

  20. http://ironmaiden.com/news/article/2016-setlist

    Set list from Iron Maiden’s first show on The Book of Souls tour. Pretty awesome! I won’t be seeing them as they aren’t coming anywhere near to KC, 🙁

    1. Powerslave is always nice.

      1. I think Hallowed Be Thy Name would be awesome (one of my all time faves).

    2. I saw them at Madison Square Garden a few years ago – I’d like to see them again in a venue without horrendous acoustical qualities.

      1. Was that before they renovated the whole thing or after?

        1. Before – I can’t imagine it’s much better now? I saw Rush there on the last tour but I was on the floor where the sound is much better. For Maiden I was halfway up and at the opposite end of the stage.

  21. I saw approximately a dozen of my prog friends post a ThinkProgress article on Facederp complaining about how nobody at the Republican debate talked about the Kansas shooting.

    1. I think the story barely hovers on the fringes of “national” news myself. But I’m not looking to score points.

  22. Since Trump has pretty much locked this up, any VP choices? Would anyone he could pick get you to vote for him in the general?

    1. VP is worthless anyways, but no, there’s absolutely nobody he could pick that would get me to vote for him.

      Except if he picked Agile Cyborg. Because it might be nice to have a VP crazier than Biden.

      1. A C is not crazy. He is astute and poetic.

      2. Agile Cyborg is the most sane person on the planet, maaan

    2. Omarosa.

      1. Wow. Season 1. I stopped watching after that.

    3. My dream scenario for VP:

      At the next debate, Trump breaks a pool cue in half, throws it on the floor, says whoever leaves the stage will be his VP, and walks off.

  23. Kerry weighs ‘genocide’ label for Islamic State

    “None of us have ever seen anything like it in our lifetimes,” Kerry said during a House subcommittee hearing Wednesday

    With all due respect, what an insensitive moron.

    1. In certain circles it’s considered polite to be a Holocaust denier.

      1. No need to invoke the Holocaust. I can think of *several* things “like it” in Kerry’s lifetime.

        1. Rwanda? You can’t call that genocide because… um…

          1. East Timor, Congo during the 1960s, are two that come to mind.

        2. Kerry was born in 1943.

            1. But he didn’t see the Holocaust, nor did most Representatives, so he’s still technically correct.

    2. What about just ‘ciding them instead of labelling them?

    3. So calling what ISIS is trying to do to the Yazidis, could be called genocide. But let’s see, in our lifetime (giving Kerry a pass on the Holocaust):

      Mao’s Cultural Revolution
      Pol Pot’s Khmer Rouge
      North Vietnamese treatment of the South after the fall of Saigon
      Rwanda
      Congo

      1. Burma/Myanmar – the Rohinga people

        Some of those others (Mao, Vietnam) were not genocide (the killing of people based on their genotype) but rather killing political opponents.

        1. Croatia/Serbia?

          Although I think Lurch is referring to the brutality and public nature of the killings. Crucifixion, burning alive, and beheading are a bit out of the mainstream even for the other genociders.

      2. The problem is, that when the government officially recognizes a ‘genocide’, it instantly becomes a casus belli under international law, which they will cite when they circumvent Congress and send some more bombs and/or troops into the region.

  24. Bondholder of Puerto Rican debt? If Jack Lew and Block Yomomma get their way, you’re about to get royally fucked over.

    1. They can just issue bonds to pay the pensions off, right?

      **snicker**

    2. [blows whistle] Tweeet! “Block Yomoma – five yard penalty.”

      1. Red card for reckless and persistent infringement.

        1. If by infringement, you mean “self-destructive and juvenile”, I agree.

    3. Vultures. People who lent Puerto Rico money and now expect to be paid are being portrayed as greedy vultures..

      But Puerto Rico’s $70 billion debt crisis isn’t just a battle between New York hedge funds and a cash-strapped little island. About 30% of the debt is held by middle class Puerto Ricans like Teresa and Julio Garcia. Another 15% is held by other “average Joe” Americans who invested in bond funds. “The government says the bonds are in the hands of vultures. That’s not true,” says Teresa, a life-long Puerto Rican. “I’m not a vulture.” The Garcias are retirees. They gush about their grandchildren. And they love Puerto Rico. Teresa was born in the city of Ponce — “the most beautiful place,” she claims. When the Garcias used their life savings to buy about $500,000 worth of Puerto Rican bonds in 2005, they thought it was a safe — and patriotic — investment. The bonds were AAA rated and backed by the government. What seemed like a win-win is now a nightmare for the Garcias. They’ve lost over $200,000. Many Puerto Ricans face a triple whammy of pain: their bonds are worth a lot less, their taxes are going up and their home values are plunging because of a mass population exodus from the island.

      The irresponsible spending decisions of the Alinsky leftists have real-life consequences for ordinary people who did nothing except believe in the dirty, rotten system.

      1. When the Garcias used their life savings to buy about $500,000 worth of Puerto Rican bonds in 2005, they thought it was a safe — and patriotic — investment.

        They invested in an extortion racket. That investment didn’t pan out. Which is probably for the best.

        1. I can’t wait for this to happen in every city and state. Fun times ahead.

          1. Now with kids, I worry about how fun those times are going to be. Things are coming to a head, negative interest rates are on the horizon.

        2. Government bonds were quite a reasonable investment for a long time, and still would be now, if only the governments hadn’t been completely taken over by such a bunch of greedy, vile, psychopathic scum.

    4. Stupid choice after stupid choice, this administration has strangled the economy, and would probably do it all again even knowing the consequences. People should have known better than to put a Community Agitator in the WH.

      I feel for the pensioners but they did benefit at the expense of the greater economy–for a while.

    5. That’s why you don’t lend money to governments or crackheads.

    1. Heh, heh.

      Sexwale, sadly, dropped out before the voting started. No 2/3 majority in the first round so round two is just starting.

  25. Cleveland cop who sexted crime victims (8000 times!) and spent time at a womens’ homes trolling for sex (while on the clock) will get his job back

    Because of course.

    Shockingly though, they didn’t give him back pay, so I guess that’s something.

    1. “In a blistering dissent, Judge Timothy McCormack blasted the arbitrator’s decision as “a stagnant pool of rancid, stenchful waste.

      “The arbitrator’s decision stands for the on-the-street reality that when a woman is victimized by violent crime in Cleveland, and reports it, she may also risk becoming sexual prey of a responder who, instead of protecting the injured, pursues sexual conquest,” McCormack said.””

      Okay, if Obama nominated this guy to the Supreme Court, I’d be totally cool with it. That’s as close to a Scalian dissent as you’ll get now that the man himself is dead.

      1. Arbitrator Gary W. Spring found that there was a “mountain of misconduct” that warranted harsh punishment. But, Spring said, the city failed to take into account mitigating factors, including statements from fellow cops who praised Lucarelli.

        Spring also noted that none of the women filed formal complaints about Lucarelli’s advances

        The Arbitrator wanted to climb that mountain of misconduct, he really did.

        The proper place for this comment.

        1. So when a cop engages in misconduct with victims, as long as his fellow officers say he is ok, that is good enough!
          The Thin Blue Line, indeed!

    2. It’s not like he murdered a 12-yr old kid in broad daylight or anything. That would be taken seriously.

      Oh wait…

    3. Shockingly though, they didn’t give him back pay, so I guess that’s something.

      And people say there’s no justice in our justice system. That’ll show ’em!

  26. Al Sharpton assisting Trump campaign

    http://hotair.com/headlines/ar…..deport-me/

    1. Wonder how much that cost…or maybe he tried to shake the Clintons down for too much.

    2. *practicing boot leg gangster voice*

      Look here see we’re talking about good ol fashioned corruption, not pushing the smack or killin someone. Just a little grease to make the world go round while yer gettin round see

    3. Trump would probably deport me

      I’d settle for Trump tossing him in federal prison for a few years. 30 or 40 ought to do it.

  27. Gotta roll.

    *slap!*

    1. *slap* You know who else got denied a Friday Funny?

  28. Lecturer-In-Chief lectures America on hiring more teenagers

    Scooping ice cream is tougher than it looks. Rows and rows of rock-hard ice cream can be brutal on the wrists. As a teenager working behind the counter at Baskin-Robbins in Honolulu, I was less interested in what the job meant for my future and more concerned about what it meant for my jump shot.

    My first summer job wasn’t exactly glamorous, but it taught me some valuable lessons. Responsibility. Hard work. Balancing a job with friends, family, and school.

    Huh? You held a real job?

    I note his lecture includes nothing about minimum wage laws or child labor laws.

    1. One of my history teachers in high school worked at one of the local Burger Kings. He was a substitute that was so good at his job and so popular with students that the school offered him a position when the woman he subbed for decided to resign for health reasons. Unfortunately, his wife died and he declined the position. I don’t remember if he was the Burger King night manager or owned the franchise. Substitute teaching was his way to make a little extra money.

      When we covered the Progressive Era in American history, we touched on the child labor laws. The substitute teacher spent some time explaining his managerial experience at Burger King. He loved giving kids chances, but thanks to Pennsylvania’s child labor laws, which as they are stricter than the fed’s laws are the ones he had to live with, it made it very difficult to hire teenagers until after they turned 16. You could, under PA’s laws at the time, work at places that weren’t farms or not owned by your own family starting at age 14. Thanks to the child labor laws, very, very few places would hire 14 or 15 year olds. He said as much as he wants to help a kid get started in life, he had to think about his business, his other employees, his customers, and his competitors. Given the restrictions from the laws, that meant he just couldn’t hire younger teenagers and he had to think carefully about hiring 16 or 17 year olds.

    2. Who needs 31 flavors anyways.

      1. It’s really the height of opulence. Wintergreen and unflavored are all you really need.

    3. He starting off serving ice cream? Hmmmm. Maybe this is what initially attrracted Michelle and her big fat ice cream bloated ass to him.

    4. From comments”

      “Cameron Shahab
      Boutique Business StartUp, Strategic Growth & Risk Assessment Practice
      “Thank you Mr. President for having returned honor to the Office you hold by representing this country with strength, confidence, grace and a commitment to the promises you made when first seeking election. Regardless of one’s personal political position it can hardly be argued that you did not go above and beyond in fulfilling your mission as president to this great country we call home. Articles such as this one only further support the undeniable truth that you are a peoples’ president.”

      /drops cigarette from lips.

      1. Rufus, please consider switching to vaping.

        1. But won’t the vaper break if I drop it?

          1. Perhaps even explode. But that only adds to the dramatic effect.

      2. Sarcasm? One can hope.

        1. Nope, it has the ring of true believer sycophancy.

          1. Sadly, I think you’re right. I had hopes thought because the day was getting off to a good start. That’ll teach me.

      3. And you people think the Trumpbots are scary!

        This broad is sucking Obama almost as well as David Brooks!

    5. STEVE SMITH TRY TO HIRE, BUT NO ONE RESPOND

    6. Phase 1: Raise the federal minimum wage to $15/hr and require companies to provide more health insurance plans and other benefits and raise taxes on employers

      Phase 2: ???

      Phase 3: More teenage employment!

  29. Arbitrator Gary W. Spring found that there was a “mountain of misconduct” that warranted harsh punishment. But, Spring said, the city failed to take into account mitigating factors, including statements from fellow cops who praised Lucarelli.

    Spring also noted that none of the women filed formal complaints about Lucarelli’s advances

    The Arbitrator wanted to climb that mountain of misconduct, he really did.

    1. “Arbitrator Gary W. Spring found that there was a “mountain of misconduct” that warranted harsh punishment. But, Spring said, the city failed to take into account mitigating factors, including statements from fellow cops who praised Lucarelli.”

      So a mountain of misconduct is mitigated by random people saying nice things about you?

      Tremendous. Next time I hospitalize someone in a bar fight, I’ll have buddies of mine come to court to say what a good guy I am. I’m sure the judge will let me off with no problems.

  30. Tropical bush is gorgeous.

      1. Yes. AC, don’t tease us like this.

    1. I am a big fan of candle bush.

    2. I prefer desert bush

  31. Remember when I mentioned my friend who was disappointed that Mike Bloomberg wouldn’t win the Presidential election if he ran as an independent? Well, after asking him about Bloomberg’s love of the nanny state, he said this:

    Your knowledge of Bloomberg’s actual policies is severely lacking.

    One of the reasons De Blasio did so well in his election (and why he is not doing well now) is that he promised a better social safety net for poor New Yorkers.

    Can you name some nanny state examples from Bloomberg that were not specifically aimed at those who raised costs for the city?

    I can’t even.

    1. Don’t even.

      1. ^This. Some people just want to believe.

    2. I know. The thing about Bloomberg is that he is such an asshole on nanny state things (guns, food, drugs, prostitution, etc.) and yet, compared to typical NYC politicians, he was to the right of Genghis Khan when it comes to finances.
      Nick should consider that when someone says “socially liberal and fiscally conservative), this describes Mike Bloomberg to a T.

      1. Yes, and that’s why New Yorkers elected him three times. The idea that we elected Deblasio because “he promised a better social safety net for poor New Yorkers” is delusional.

    3. “Can you name some nanny state examples from Bloomberg that were not specifically aimed at those who raised costs for the city?”

      “Those who raised costs for the city” is a pretty novel euphemism for ‘poor people who should really just listen to their betters.’

      1. At least the guy helps provide evidence for the premise that a society can’t remain both economically leftist and socially liberal in the long run.

  32. I am sporting an epic celebratory hangover from professor clickbait being fired. They’ve still made my degree effectively useless, but it’s a step. I don’t normally celebrate people being shit canned, but between her and Sepp Blatter my “fuck you, don’t let the door hit ya” evenings are becoming increasingly frequent.

    1. Yeh, but Blatter ain’t going away without a fight.

      1. He has a 6 year suspension (reduced from 8 earlier this week) that will hopefully keep him away. Of course it’s FIFA so…he’ll probably be back in charge by Euro/Copa America

        1. Isn’t he like 90 years old? I imagine all those millions he’s embezzled can prop him up a little longer but not much.

          1. They elected a new president today. Blatter will turn 80 in a couple weeks and has approximately all of the money.

    1. No one gives a fuck, you boring shitbird.

      1. Emancipation of women leads to the welfare state, marriage to state, low IQ women having eighteen thuglets by eighteen different thugs, high IQ women having cats in place of babies.

        Interesting outlook. Although one could argue that the welfare state promoted these bad outcomes.

      2. Big, dirty shithawks. They’re coming, Bubbles. They’re flying in low. They’re swooping down, shitting on people and dragging them off to the big shitnest.

    2. “A fitness test is usually applied by a woman to a particular man she is thinking she might like in her pussy. When applied in this manner, a fitness test is what pickup artists call a shit test.”

      One paragraph in and it’s already sleep inducing. Not outraged. Just amazed at how uninteresting these people are.

      1. “If you give women freedom of choice, a great many women make such terrible choices that men have little alternative but to pay for women’s choices. If you emancipate women to make their own decisions, you have to pay for their decisions, have to have a welfare state, because their decisions are frequently so bad. This profoundly impairs the freedom of men, that they have to pay for bad choices that they have no power over and receive no benefit from. Some thug knocks up some idiot, and the man with a job has to support another man’s child and a woman who is not giving him sex and domestic service.”

        I like that an unmarried woman getting pregnant is proof that women make poor decisions but the unmarried man getting the woman pregnant is not proof that men make poor decisions.

        Magnificent logic on display.

        1. Huh. So if the pregnant idiots were having sex with the taxpaying men, it wouldn’t be such a big deal?

  33. India makes stupidity illegal:

    “Mumbai imposes no-selfie zones after deaths”
    http://www.cnn.com/2016/02/25/…..index.html

    Stop me if you heard this one:
    A house painter on a ladder stepped back to admire his work…

  34. Self-appointed victims victimized:

    “Raucous confrontation at SF State over ethnic studies cuts”
    […]
    “So loud and intent were the students who packed into a campus auditorium that they all but ignored school President Les Wong’s announcement that he will find $200,000 this year to eliminate most of the college’s $245,000 shortfall…”
    http://www.sfgate.com/educatio…..852705.php

    Yes, that’s right. They were enjoying their status as victims SO MUCH that they almost missed that they weren’t victims after all.
    Next headline, I’m sure:
    “Protesters triggered by new funding”

    1. Students presented the administrators with a long list of demands to expand the college rather than shrink it.

      It’s going to be epic when the education bubble finally bursts. A whole generation of young adults will find themselves completely unable to function in the real world.

      1. Morlocks will eat well.

      2. If that occurred, the obvious solution would be to make college free for everyone.

        /sarc

  35. Fun watching CNN as Chris Cuomo gets worse – last night Wolf was talking to some Trump spokesman and challenged her to name some Trump specifics instead of the usual talking points. She tried dodging the question and Wolf interrupted to tell her to answer the question and suddenly Cuomo popped up to start answering the question for her in an even more question-dodging manner. I have no idea where Cuomo came from or where he got the camera and the microphone or the authority to take over Wolf’s show like that. This morning Cuomo gives his analysis of how Trump sets the terms of the debate so he’s the winner and when a couple of other analysts come on to start talking about what the other candidates actually said he just dismisses them with some sort of “well, you’re just over-thinking this because you’re too smart for your own good and nobody cares about substance, they judge by appearances and Trump’s the only one who understands that”. He also introduced some segment of “talking to the candidates after the debate before they have a chance to get polished up by their handlers” that consisted of him talking only to Trump. Cuomo seems to be totally in the bag for a fellow New Yorker with the same squishy liberal conservative New York values as him. CNN as a whole is obviously bent – half their analysis is talking to a Trump spokesman for analysis of the Trump campaign and the rest talking to more-or-less independent analysts about all the other candidates’ campaigns.

  36. My college roommate has a piece on Fox News about Bloomberg running for president.

    In a three-way race with Trump and Clinton, Bloomberg would start with nearly 30 percent of the vote. Think about that for a second. He would be just outside the margin of error of Clinton and within shouting distance of Trump ? having not spent a dime of his billions, and without a moment’s media coverage. That is one heck of a starting position.

    1. Bloomberg is exactly the type of guy who could get Congress off its ass to fuck us over with bipartisan support. He is the worst option.

    2. Bloomberg would start with nearly 30 percent of the vote.

      I bet most of that is only because he is not Clinton or Trump.

      Get him exposure on a national stage and campaign, and I bet that’s his peak.

  37. Fellow Arkansans –

    The Libertarian state convention is tomorrow in Little Rock. Check out lpar.org for more info.

    I will likely be running for Pulaski JoP District 10, assuming we get the extra time for nominating candidates.

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  39. The LP brings endless discredit to libertarianism.

  40. RE: The Libertarian Party of Arkansas is battling the state over the ability to add or substitute nominees on the upcoming general-election ballot.

    We simply can not have those evil and vile libertarians on the ballot.
    It will upset the duopoly of the two ruling elitist slavers plans to manipulate, enslave and control the unenlightened masses.
    After all, what do these Libertarians this place is, a free country with freedom of choice?

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  42. “Oklahoma aims to be the 27th state to specifically criminalize “revenge porn.”

    Here’s why this law is stupid:

    1. Go through a bad breakup
    2. Have your friend take naked photos of you
    3. Anonymously post the photos online (using one of various freely available programs that make this possible)
    4. Report the posts and get your ex busted for “revenge porn”
    5. Claim that there will be no evidence on your ex’s phone or computer because he’s a computer whiz who deleted them (which is entirely possible to do these days)
    6. ????
    7. PROFIT

    I read the full article, and it didn’t mention any standards of evidence that would prevent this.

    The problem with “revenge porn” laws is that there’s really no way to prove whether someone’s naked photos ended up online with or without their consent. The only solution is for people to learn (probably the hard way) that if you give someone naked photos of yourself, they may end up online being viewed by millions of people. Any rational person can see this. The only people who dispute it are the ones who are constantly yearning for the gub’mint to Do Something?.

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