Campus Free Speech

Anti-Israel Students Want to Ban Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream, a Tool of Their Oppression

It never ends.

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Ice cream
Steven Depolo / Flickr

Students at Vassar College have struck a critical blow against the Israeli occupation of Palestinian: they signed a resolution calling on the college to divest from Ben & Jerry's ice cream. Without a doubt, the hour of Palestinian liberation has finally arrived.

You see, Ben & Jerry's—despite having very liberal politics—is actually in cahoots with the Zionists, according to the various Vassar student groups who signed the resolution:

BEN & JERRY'S has a long-standing contractual relationship with an Israeli franchise that manufactures ice cream in Israel proper and sells it in Israeli settlements in the occupied West Bank and East Jerusalem. Despite the company's Social Mission and history of supporting progressive causes, Ben & Jerry's continues to tie its franchise to these illegal settlements. In short, while apartheid ensues in historic Palestine, Ben & Jerry's "peace & love" ice cream continues to pass through Israeli checkpoints, and be transported on Jewish-only roads to be sold in Jewish-only settlements.

Ben & Jerry's disputes this characterization of its relationship with the state of Israel. According to Campus Reform:

However, Ben & Jerry's published a statement in 2015 in response to earlier attacks, claiming it had "no economic interest in the occupied territories." In fact, the company denied accusations that it operated business facilities in occupied territories at all.

"The manufacturing facility and two scoop shops are located outside the occupied territories, just south of Tel Aviv," the 2015 statement said, contradicting VBDSC's accusations.

The resolution calls on Vassar to disallow students from consuming Ben & Jerry's during official functions. I scream, you scream, we all scream because it never stops.

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  1. Every time I think libertarian politics are blinkered and hopelessly retarded, I look over at those fucking morons and realize that it could be much, much worse.

    1. Libertarianism: the worst political philosophy ? except for all of the others.

  2. I think we ought to ban Leap Day because it was created by a slaveowning imperialist tyrant. And convenient that that day is in Black History Month!

    1. But if you want to ban Leap Day, you want Black History Month to be even shorter, you racist.

      1. Let’s compromise by banning Leap Day and simply making a permanent 29th day in February.

        Actually, that doesn’t go far enough.

        Let’s add a permanent *three* days to February to bring it up to parity with the other months.

        Actually, that doesn’t go far enough.

        Let’s add a permanent *three* days yo February to bring it up to par with the other months *and* every other month must turn over the first day of that month to February as reparations for the discrimination that February has suffered all these centuries.

        February 1st
        January 2nd – 31st
        February 1-31st
        February 1st
        March 2nd – 30th
        etc.

        Its the only way to be ‘fair’.

        1. Nice racism, asshole. The only fair way to do it is to have:
          Jan 1-31
          Feb 1-163
          March 1-17
          April 1-17
          May 1-17
          June 1-17
          July 1-17
          August 1-17
          Sep 1-17
          Oct 1-17
          Nov 1-17
          Dec 1-18 (For Kwanzaa)

          1. Fuck. Take two days off of every month and give them to February.

          2. Fuck all of you.

            We need 13 months of 28 days, plus 1.25 days at the end of each year called the Howling Time, where we all act like wolves, ringing in the new year. And New Years gets to be different times of day, year to year.

        2. February was the last month (well sort of…) of the legal year in England from Medieval times until England adopted the Popish Calendar until 1752. This was during the lifetime of Jefferson, Washington, Patrick Henry, etc. You know slave-owners.

          1. WILL YOU FUCKERS LEAVE FEBRUARY ALONE?

            I was born in that awesome month.

            1. February: bitch of months.

    2. When that slaveowning imperialist tyrant created leap day he added ten days to the calendar. The only short month to not get extra days was Black History Month naturally.

  3. That Zionist oppression goes right to my thighs!

    1. Oy vey

  4. Chunky Monkey is a Zionist plot to infiltrate the LBGTIQ community with the Zika virus, which is transmitted through ingestion of delicious chunks of fudge.

    Those bastards.

    1. AIDS came from monkeys and AIDS is a Zionist plot so Ben & Jerry are Zionist Stooges! CONFIRMED!!!!!

    2. LGBTIQ

      Needs more Qs, I believe. Cis-shitlord.

    3. Selling Chunky Monkey during Black History Month?! How offensive!

  5. I scream/
    Jew scream/
    We all scream/
    For ice cream/
    Inshallah

    1. Now I get it.

  6. First Brown, now Vassar? And the same day that Simpsons search engine was released! Woohoo!

    1. No, not Brown!

  7. The resolution calls on Vassar to disallow students from consuming Ben & Jerry’s during official functions.

    Do they really want to go down that Rocky Road?

    1. I wish somebody would banana split their heads open.

    2. So what happens if you show up at an official function and whip out your B&Jews;? I need some muscle over here?

  8. It’s sweet that the Left is embracing their Nationalist Socialist roots again. They are a big tent movement.

    1. I see what you did there. Sweet. Ice cream.

  9. “Students at Vassar College have struck a critical blow against the Israeli occupation of Palestinian: they signed a resolution calling on the college to divest from Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. Without a doubt, the hour of Palestinian liberation has finally arrived.”

    Robby, you bring sunshine to my afternoon with prose like that!

  10. In short, while apartheid ensues in historic Palestine

    Huh.

    And here I thought – last I checked up on Israeli law – that Arab (“Palestinian”) Israelis had normal civil rights, including voting and serving in the Knesset and having any political parties they wanted; everything but being in the Army.

    Which might not be perfect equality, but is different in kind from apartheid.

    (I mean, if we wanna talk Gaza and the West Bank, I don’t know how Israel can be imposing apartheid on people that have their own separate government and land…)

  11. Behold the face of permanent revolution.

  12. the Israeli occupation of Palestinian

    Oh, come on its not even close.

    Is this becoming the latest manifestation in Robby’s troll-game?

    1. How can a country occupy an adjective?

      1. Its Bae in some way

    2. I wonder if Robby bitches about the Union’s occupation of the Confederacy.

      1. I WAS POINTING OUT A TYPO

  13. “The resolution calls on Vassar to disallow students from consuming Ben & Jerry’s”

    I do love how these people presume that every form of Institutional Authority is complete, total, and comprehensive… such that even the choice of Ice Cream Brands that people may consume is clearly something being “Allowed” by some department of Important Stuff. “Stop Allowing That!! YOUR OVERLY PERMISSIVE POLICIES CONTRIBUTE TO AN ENVIRONMENT OF OPPRESSION

  14. BEN & JERRY’S has a long-standing contractual relationship with an Israeli franchise that blah, blah, blah…

    Ben & Jerry’s disputes this characterization of its relationship with the state of Israel. According to Campus Reform:

    However, Ben & Jerry’s published a statement in 2015 in response to earlier attacks, claiming it had “no economic interest in the occupied territories.” In fact, the company denied accusations that it operated business facilities in occupied territories at all.

    Yes, BDSers, let’s pretend this all isn’t just you pissed off that Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield have had the audacity to continue to draw breath these past 65 years.

  15. A Note on Decolonization

    “Decolonization” means the ending of colonial relationships and the the greatest possible reversal of damage due to colonialism. This resolution demands that Israel end its “occupation and colonization of all Arab lands.” This does NOT mean that all Jewish people have to leave Israel/Palestine, or even that any Jewish people have to move anywhere. It simply means that indigenous and settler populations must stop interacting through institutionalized colonial channels.”

    I refuse to recognize any resolution as legitimate if it is not proofread first.

    1. “It simply means that indigenous and settler populations must stop interacting through institutionalized colonial channels.”

      Does anyone know what in the world this means?

      1. Of course not. These are college students. Its not supposed to make any sense.

        1. This…they are fucking stupid….down the road it might be problematic, but I’ll most likely be dead so it won’t be my problem.

      2. the institutionalized colonial channels would be a terrible band name. at least bushisms were occasionally fun

  16. I scream, you scream, we all scream because it never stops.

    Oh, bravo, Robby, bra-VO! Lines like this almost make me forget you didn’t get your Masters in Journalism from Columbia University.

  17. really, who needs all those ice cream flavors?

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